Crankshaft, 11/29/10
You know, it seems the holiday season lurches into action earlier and earlier every year. For instance, somebody’s dearest Christmas wish — to see Crankshaft in his underwear — has already arrived, and it isn’t even December yet! Merry Christmas to you, you desperate pervert!
Mary Worth, 11/29/10
Meanwhile, it seems that Adrian has already given herself a Christmas present — the massive dose of high-grade Ecstasy necessary for her to become Mrs. Scott Hewlett without first becoming catatonic with anxiety and self-loathing. She seems to have perhaps overdone it a bit, however, as in panel two she appears to actually be floating several feet off the ground.
Mary Worth plots are generally linear to a fault, so I offer kudos to the strip for jumping over the rest of the wedding preparation and getting right to the rehearsal dinner, before Mary even gets a chance to meddle Jill into submission. I am assuming that Jill is the Amazonian gal in panel one, listing wildly to her right and demanding more booze, all the better to lay the groundwork for a drunken tirade that will prevent anyone but Jill from enjoying themselves tonight. This week may be awesomer than any pool party!
Shoe, 11/29/10
“Ha ha, just kidding, you know I love a good pun! Seriously, though, we see the same prostitutes.”
This entry was posted on Monday, November 29, 2010 at 08:55 am and is filed under Crankshaft, Mary Worth, Shoe. | 185 responses to “” KarMannNovember 29th, 2010 at 9:02 am [Reply]
Dingo, was that pervert you? You owe us! [*]
Alice BluegownNovember 29th, 2010 at 9:09 am [Reply]
Young Deborah Harry on the left there looks suitably horrified at Adrian’s overt and massive drug consumption – so much so, she’s about to tip a whole glass of wine down her bosom.
James_MurtonNovember 29th, 2010 at 9:15 am [Reply]
As awesome as today’s Mary Worth is I can’t help but notice that Mary’s hand, pushing a globule of indeterminite food into her gritted teeth in panel one, doesn’t seem… well, right, as if it could be attached to her body. It looks more like it’s coming from someone kneeling between her legs – perhaps Dr Cory meant something else when he said he would get down on one knOH GOD OH GOD TOO HORRIBLE TO IMAGINE. Although it would explain why Adrian is gazing/floating upward while saying ‘I want everyone to enjoy themselves’ – the best you can do when your future father-in-law is ‘eating at the Bum Boat’ in front of you is not make eye contact and politely give permission.
Rocky StoneaxeNovember 29th, 2010 at 9:15 am [Reply]
Soup to Nutz — Characters from Underdog (“Simon Bar Sinister”) and King Leonardo (“Tooter Turtle”) put in an appearance!
Slylock Fox — A battle to the death between Pointy-Haired Boss and Mr. Dithers would be awesome! (Nice shout out to your dad’s strip, Bob!)
Chyron HRNovember 29th, 2010 at 9:20 am [Reply]
Better Shoe punchline: “Quackileaks”.
You know, because they’re supposed to be birds.
No, I swear. He’s a chicken, a giant chicken, I tells ya!
bourbon babe, unbuckledNovember 29th, 2010 at 9:22 am [Reply]
MW: That looks like some revelry there, all right: plates of plain potato chips for dinner and glasses with no stem on them (unless Blondie McPeasantblouse on the left has impaled her hand with her glass, just to distract herself from the soul-killing boredom of the occasion). I’d be signaling for my back-up cocktail, too.
MT: Does everyone in the Trailverse need to pose seductively when speaking on the phone? “I must make a phone call! Let me quickly arrange myself in a crotch-prominent, ab-defining slouch!”
SM: MJ, look at Aunt May. Being Mrs. Mole Man (Mole May?) is the best shot she’s got.
JP: Haha! It’s funny because the Judge violates confidentiality to sell novels!
Shawn S.November 29th, 2010 at 9:27 am [Reply]
My wish was to see a fully nude Crankshaft this year, but beggars can’t be choosers!
WandersNovember 29th, 2010 at 9:27 am [Reply]
MW: Thrilled to see Adrian got her hair dyed blue again. Those blonde roots looked awful.
John E.November 29th, 2010 at 9:30 am [Reply]
SM – What the hell is Aunt May screaming about? Mole Man looks pretty buff for a guy his age.
whitenoiseNovember 29th, 2010 at 9:37 am [Reply]
If Adrian weren’t marrying beneath her station, maybe she could afford to hire someone to pass out those delicious looking hors d’oeuvers so she wouldn’t have to do it herself.
Buck RipsnortNovember 29th, 2010 at 9:40 am [Reply]
S-M: May thinks of Mole Man as a “catch” in the same way she thinks of Peter as a “good nephew”. Poor girl’s got her sights set so low, one dreads to think what Uncle Ben must’ve been like.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoNovember 29th, 2010 at 9:42 am [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#4): as seen some time back in Weapon Brown.
*sigh* postjumped snark. I killed yesterthread.
Buck RipsnortNovember 29th, 2010 at 9:42 am [Reply]
My mom insisted the Tooth Fairy was a gay dentist, so is the “Truth Fairy” a pathologically honest Thai male prostitute.
Mr. GobotoNovember 29th, 2010 at 9:43 am [Reply]
And in that moment, Ziggy realized the barbarity and violence behind that turkey dinner and became vegan, which makes him some kind of cannibal. He’s a fungus, right?
agonyNovember 29th, 2010 at 9:52 am [Reply]
bbu, 6 – I believe she’s actually drinking out of an eggcup.
So this morning I was reading my comics online, and just as I was opening Dilbert, I was thinking that it has become predictable and a little stale over the years, heading slowly and inexorably toward a zombie future. Then I saw today’s strip, and decided we had a ways to go, yet.
Marion DelgadoNovember 29th, 2010 at 9:53 am [Reply]
Meanwhile, even when the weary, stressed out parents of Baby Blues started using tortures they’d learned from Wizard of Id on their children, no one made that call.
anonNovember 29th, 2010 at 9:54 am [Reply]
MW: How are you feeling? – Calm and Happy! Who says that????
Mr. Anon: How are you feeling, Mrs. Anon?
Mrs. Anon: Fine, I guess. -or- Like shit! My back is killing me. Why do you ask?
[Old Man] MuffarooNovember 29th, 2010 at 9:56 am [Reply]
Momma – “So what was that we ate?”
“The rest of us had casserole, but we decided you could eat ’shit-n-die-you-joyless-little-husk.’”
Pluggers are apparently getting desperate. Isn’t it about time someone took them to ‘a wonderful farm’ where they can ‘frolic in the sunshine and chase other pluggers all day’?
@Chip Whittle (#y42): It’s enough to remind me of a favorite from Viz’s “Letterbocks”: “Dear Editor — ‘Speed Humps’ my eye! Why, if anything, they slow you down!”
@Chowder (#y44): Seems counter-intuitive, but the statistics I’ve seen (at least as of about ten years ago) say that there are more pianos in homes than at any time previous.
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#4): I was reading your namesake in some old BOY’S LIFEs yesterday, after a friend pointed out that Google has decades and decades worth of them online. It’s interesting to see the work of young Dik Browne, too, back when he could put details in (before he had to draw at poster size because of vision problems).
PatrickNovember 29th, 2010 at 9:59 am [Reply]
All the best rehearsal dinners are held at the Pink and Lime Green Restaurant, where only the finest tan and/or beige appetizers are served.
SaraV.November 29th, 2010 at 10:00 am [Reply]
I, for one, enjoy the fact that the engagement part is going on some purple/blue/teal color theme. Very classy, like those fabled “white parties” held at P. Diddy’s.
I also love how Jill had the effrontery to upstage the bride-to-be by wearing the same color. I presume she’ll also show up at the wedding in a full length white gown, replete with train, tiara and blusher. Oh Jill, you rock in so many ways.
terrapinNovember 29th, 2010 at 10:10 am [Reply]
MT- So Mark calls home, Cherry isn’t there and Doc wishes Mark a good trip. Wow! Way to advance that story line Elrod! Tune in tomorrow folks for the dramatic unpacking of the suitcases.
wossnameNovember 29th, 2010 at 10:13 am [Reply]
Archie – I hadn’t read Archie for many years, until y’all made me, so here’s my question: At what point did Miss Grundy become Ms. Grundy?
DT – His transfer here for sentencing? In what circumstances would somebody be convicted in one place, but transferred someplace else for sentencing? Oh yeah – in the circumstances of the Tracyverse.
Dilbert – Adams is much funnier when he gets nutty like this than when he just makes cubicle and cold-coffee jokes.
MW – Oh, I have high hopes for this week! Look at Jill in the background of panel 1, ordering another drinkie and groping the bartender! Be careful what you wish for, St. Adrian.
Phantom – Yee-HAW! Right on schedule, Savarna and the RPG-launcher!
Sly – Koppy Kat is really not a very good forger, is he? I wonder if he did the counterfeit $1000 bills for 3D.
wossnameNovember 29th, 2010 at 10:19 am [Reply]
@terrapin (#21): I thought the same thing – but then I decided, given Jackelrod’s deft touch with a narrative, that maybe something will happen so that Mark does not call Cherry later (a surprise visit from Kelly Welly?) and this scene will have laid the groundwork for Cherry getting worried.
sakNovember 29th, 2010 at 10:23 am [Reply]
Adrian quite the dedicated hostess; she has been practicing magic to entertain her guests. “And as I unclasp my hands you will see that the plate and napkin have vanished. TADA!”
Binder's Butter BeansNovember 29th, 2010 at 10:28 am [Reply]
Oh wow, are non-Doonesbury comix allowed to say “damn” on the comix page? Or is Shoe stickin’ it to the man? Either way, I’m all for it.
Johnny KnucklesNovember 29th, 2010 at 10:30 am [Reply]
MW: The dissonance between Adrian’s desperate eyes in the first panel and her claim to be “calm and happy” is something out of a POW video. If this were a live video, her eyes would be blinking the horrific truth in Morse code.
McManxNovember 29th, 2010 at 10:31 am [Reply]
Crankshaft: I hope Shaft doesn’t throw out his back as he strains to check out his own ass in the mirror.
Mary Worth: With the cranial swelling and her eyes about to pop out of their sockets, I’d say Adrian is either giddy beyond delight about her wedding or she’s about to have a massive stroke.
LoFoMoFoNovember 29th, 2010 at 10:35 am [Reply]
JP: Wasn’t Theresa Delgado the buxom assassin with a fondness for barbeque who wanted to get in Sam’s pants and dies tragically by drowning?
TheDivaNovember 29th, 2010 at 10:39 am [Reply]
9CL: The word is stupid and diminishing, but the idea that all gay men instinctively know who’s batting on their team regardless of how far in the closet they are apparently isn’t.
DT: This is going to make the transport of Richard Kimble look like an unqualified success, isn’t it?
FW: Yes folks, Les has never had a day off to relax, take a vacation, spend time with his daughter, or do anything that wasn’t Lisa’s death-related. Because that might diminish from the great and terrible tragedy that is the Martyrdom of St. Lisa the Mastectomied, and we wouldn’t want that.
Luann: Nothing like a good industrial film to jump-start the evening, is there?
Lio: Monsters are such INteresting people…
Marvin: Marvin’s parents plan on drop-kicking him to the curb the minute he turns eighteen. And nobody is surprised.
MW: You know who Adrian reminds me of? The girl in that old educational short “Are You Ready For Marriage?” (brilliantly riffed by the MST3K crew). She was a starry-eyed, head-in-the-clouds girl who could calculate to the minute how long she’d been dating her beau, but didn’t have clue one about the down-and-dirty business of making a relationship work in the long term. Of course, the girl in the short had the excuses of youth and inexperience for her behavior. Adrian is theoretically an adult established in the medical profession, which makes her hand-clasping ecstasy at becoming a “Mrs.” even more disturbing.
SM: Indeed, the only thing more disturbing than Adrian’s expression in Mary Worth is seeing the exact same expression on Aunt May’s craggy visage.
Dragon of LifeNovember 29th, 2010 at 10:39 am [Reply]
Tomorrow begins the Shoe/Ace Attorney: Investigations crossover, featuring a literal three-legged raven, and I will shoot myself.
Ed DraveckyNovember 29th, 2010 at 10:48 am [Reply]
Two thoughts on today’s Funky Winkerbean strip:
“Tightened budgets and the educational needs of his students be damned, Les knows the sacred memory of his dead wife is our whole town’s top priority!”
and
“Has Les dumped you for the much younger crazy stalker yet, or are you still enjoying three-ways with Les and his dead wife?”
Rocky StoneaxeNovember 29th, 2010 at 10:50 am [Reply]
@John E. (#9):
That’s not Mole Man… that’s Mohandas Gandhi’s twin brother, Moley (a/k/a “Holy Moley”). And he looks pretty good for a guy who’s 141 years old!
Ned RyersonNovember 29th, 2010 at 10:59 am [Reply]
MT (Most awkward phone sex ever!):
What are you wearing, Mark?!
You know what I’m wearing, Doc! It’s what I always wear!
But I like to hear you say it. What are you wearing, Mark?!
Okay Doc, I’m wearing khaki trousers and a khaki shirt!
Are you wearing a belt?!
Yes, Doc, I’m wearing a belt!
Is it khaki?!
Um, yeah, it’s khaki!
Ooo, I like khaki! What are you doing right now, Mark?!
I’m reclining slightly on the bed in my room!
Ooo, that’s nice! Do you want to know what I’m doing, Mark?!
No, not particularly!
Are you sure?!
You want to tell me what you’re doing right now, don’t you Doc?!
Yes!
Okay, Doc, what are you doing right now?!
I’m watching Andy lick his balls!
Okay Doc! Let Cherry know I called!
Mark, are you going to take your belt off soon?! Mark?! Mark?!
November 29th, 2010 at 11:05 am [Reply]
@wossname (#22): (re: Archie) I suppose it’s a Southernism, but I’ve always thought of her as “Miz” Grundy! (And just think… if she married DC Comics bad guy Solomon Grundy, she could be MISSUS Grundy!)
Pseudo3DNovember 29th, 2010 at 11:15 am [Reply]
The bartender seems to be trying to avoid Jill’s feminine wiles.
But What Do I Know?November 29th, 2010 at 11:16 am [Reply]
MW–Let’s have a wild party the night before the wedding! That way, everyone will be hungover for the ceremony! Dress code? Sure, all the men wear electric blue and all the women wear mauve. C’mon, it’ll be a hoot!
StuNovember 29th, 2010 at 11:20 am [Reply]
@Chyron HR (#5): yay!
StuNovember 29th, 2010 at 11:24 am [Reply]
I hope the next few days of Gil Thorp involve an ever-larger and more authoritative series of men threatening to beat everyone up. Unfortunately, Gil’s eliminated from that already…
spikeNovember 29th, 2010 at 11:29 am [Reply]
MW: One would think that even the Dark Queen would allow Adrian’s brother to return from Peace Village for the festivities. Harrumph!
MibbitmakerNovember 29th, 2010 at 11:37 am [Reply]
BBailey: What, “I love you” didn’t work?
Crank: #+?~$&*%@!!!!!
HotC: “Hey, grandkids, get off of my lawn!!”
Luann: THEY didn’t burn down the house, Smiley! (I’m remembering that right, right?)
MT: The phone receiver isn’t connected! HOW DOES HE DO THAT?!?!
MW: Good, then I’ll leave so I can enjoy myself, Adrian.
Phantom: Wow, when Kit wants a diversion, he doesn’t fool around!
Zits: Hey, that’s Sarge’s branch!
SFx: Koppy Kat wanted so much to be Will Elder!
S-M: “Ma’am — you look like a half-rotted zombie, yet you’re screaming at the sight of me?!”
Mordock999November 29th, 2010 at 11:46 am [Reply]
Somewhere within the VAST Luanniverse….,
Hell Spawn Disciples of Zeye -
“……In the Alley we can build a Snowman.”
“And pretend that he’s from out of Town.”
“He’ll ask for directions, We’ll say ‘No Man’!”
“And Then We’ll grab a stick and Beat Him down….,”
Gunther – “Whoa, Whoa, WAIT kids! THATS not the Lyrics to ‘Winter Wonderland’!”
H.E.S.D.O.Z. – “We know Unca Gunther. We’ve updated the lyrics to make them MORE relevant to the 21st Century!”
Gunther – “Kids we can’t sing a song like THAT for the folks at the Sleepy Creek Retirement Center! What would Mrs. Horner Think?”
H.E.S.D.O.Z. – “Oh she’s FINE with it, Unca Gunther! The old Geezers LOVE a little EXCITEMENT with Thier Christmas Music!”
Gunther – “Gee, I DON’T Know kids….,”
H.E.S.D.O.Z. – Oh, Stop Worrying, Unca Gunther! Besides, We have a SURPRISE for You! Its out back! Come, on!”
Gunther – “Wow! An Intercontinental Ballistic Missle, built out of Legos!”
H.E.S.D.O.Z. -”Yep! It was Stan’s science project. It scared His Science teacher so bad he gave him an ‘A’! It really works! Show him Stan.”
Stan – “Here, Unca Gunther, grab this launch control!”
Gunther – “Wait! Whats that noise coming from the nosecone?”
H.E.S.D.O.Z. – “Oh, thats Quill! We’re gonna launch his ass BACK to Australia! And with Him out of the way, you’ll have NO problem winning Luann!”
Gunther – “Oh My GAW! Kids you can’t….,”
H.E.S.D.O.Z. – “Sure we can! Don’t fret Unca Gunther! He’s got enough air in that capsule for 3 hours! And He’ll be back in Oz in an hour and thirty minutes!”
Gunther – “No, No, NO, Kids! We can do this!’
Stan – “Oh alright, Unca Gunther. Just press the ‘RED’ button to terminate the Launch Sequence.”
[ROOOOOOOAR!]
Gunther – “Ahhhhh!! The missle Launched!!!”
Stan – “Or was it the ‘GREEN’ Button?”
(Hours later)
CNN – “Anonymous Sources at the Pentagon have assured us that the mysterious contrail sighted over the town of Pitts represents NO danger to the Public and is NO threat to National Security or Pre-Holiday Shopping. ‘Its just a Jet Airliner’ our Source said. ‘A Jet Airliner flying straight up’.”
_______________
DEATH to TJ!!!
November 29th, 2010 at 11:48 am [Reply]
@Nomstrosity (#68): Thank goodness Luann let everyone else know she’d answer her own cell phone.
Bookended with Mark Trail letting nobody else know that he’s about to make a phone call.
Artist formerly known as BenNovember 29th, 2010 at 11:55 am [Reply]
11/29
(Clocking in a little later than usual today. Slooooooow Internet connection. I feel kind of like Comic Book Guy trying to download nude pictures of Captain Janeway.)
MW: Adrian wrings her hands in wicked glee. If it weren’s Adrian, I’d think she had some elaborate revenge planned. Think pigs blood being dumped on Mary and Jill.
A3G: “Ace Piano Movers. We’ll handle it, if you’ll handle it. If you get our meaning.”
MT: Whew. I think I’ll have to lie down after such an emotionally intense scene.
BSt: The good citizens of Ballard Street have started catching How I Met Your Mother in syndication.
S4th: But Rat and Pig from Pearls Before Swine have appeared in Slylock Fox! Was Koppy Kat responsible? So many levels of deception!
BB: “Wake-up whisper.” ‘Nuff said.
Luann: Oh crikey! Has Evans been tracing hand closeups from 9 Chickweed Lane?
FW: Tellingly, the principle is in no hurry for Les to get back. Hell, there’s probably an extra spring in his step just having the man gone.
JP: We’re about to have an extended flashback to an old case? Soap strip time just doesn’t run slow enough for some people.
RMMD: Judging from the background person, they’re walking through the 80’s LA punk rock ghetto. Mayor Stu fits right in.
H&L: Congratulations, Dot, on choosing the DC Universe’s most prominent and self-actualized lesbian as your role model. Wait until your mother has a couple of White Russians in her to spread the news.
DiggerNovember 29th, 2010 at 12:09 pm [Reply]
MW: Look at the poor young fellow Jill is hitting on. He’s standing there in frozen horror hoping to God that he survives this cougar attack.
Walker of DogNovember 29th, 2010 at 12:11 pm [Reply]
FC: Billy, Mommy is nursing a wicked hangover this morning (damn that dulcet-voiced Chris Collinsworth), so if you don’t want a backhand for breakfast, I’d dial back the witty.
GT: The dispute over blocking effectiveness will be resolved by a quick game of Rock-em Sock-em Robots.
S-M: I guess Buff Gandhi is made of sterner stuff than Aunt May, since he didn’t scream when he got a look at her. The man looked into the ugly face of British imperialism – he can tolerate one withered crone.
Phan: The real estate crisis comes to Rhodia.
MW: Jill has arranged for a bottomless martini and tagged the bartender for some cloakroom fumblings later in the evening. Nothing disruptive here – it’s just good rehearsal-dinner strategic planning.
– Meanwhile, Random Guest watches Mary and Adrian in disbelief. “Oh my God, they’re actually eating those hors d’oeuvres? And keeping them down?! Rupert, get over here – you have got to see this!”
Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™November 29th, 2010 at 12:13 pm [Reply]
@KarMann (#1): Harrumph! Please be it known that although John, my beau, is 55, he is not – NOT – shaped in any way, shape or form, like Crankshaft. Thank God. And I, sir, am no pervert!
Terry in MarylandNovember 29th, 2010 at 12:14 pm [Reply]
@wossname (#22): “Phantom – Yee-HAW! Right on schedule, Savarna and the RPG-launcher!”
He’s having his mistress rescue his wife? There is no one else in the world who can help?
Artist formerly known as BenNovember 29th, 2010 at 12:16 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#4): Tell me more. What was Bob Weber Jr’s dad’s (BW Sr?) strip?
Rocky StoneaxeNovember 29th, 2010 at 12:25 pm [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#48): Bob, Senior has been doing Moose and Molly (a/k/a Moose and Moose Miller) since 1965!
Old School Allie CatNovember 29th, 2010 at 12:27 pm [Reply]
Luann – Am I the only one who hopes that Dirk breaks through the door with a pick-axe while the young lovers are busy “smoldering”? I don’t care what happens from that point, but I had a really shitty Thanksgiving, and I think it would make me feel better.
Drew FunkNovember 29th, 2010 at 12:29 pm [Reply]
Completely off-topic, but I just had my best idea in months while catching up on the Thanksgiving weekend comics. Why don’t we have Dick Tracy and Dirk switch places? In the new Dirk Tracy, Dirk speaks only in cryptic fragments at villains and mopily stalks the Chief without actually doing anything threatening. Meanwhile, Dick begins his career in Luann by lauching an investigation of Brad and Toni in his typicallly brutal fashion, before finally killing them in some unlikely yet poetic way, such as setting a building on fire, luring them in, and then trapping them until they burn up. Afterward, the narrative focus of Luann can change completely to the crazy adventures of new roommates Dick and TJ, who mostly just grins crazily during each killing spree.
Just tell me you wouldn’t read that.
Artist formerly known as BenNovember 29th, 2010 at 12:32 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#49): Thank you for enlightening me. Looking at M&M, I can see the elder Weber’s influence on his son. They both even like dropping random bones into panels.
bunivasalNovember 29th, 2010 at 12:33 pm [Reply]
Wait, is Mary eating a Pantone PMS 727 indeterminate puff, or her own middle finger? Apparently even she isn’t immune to the oily, seeping tendrils of boredom Adrian shoots out like strangler vines.
Écureuil ÉcumantNovember 29th, 2010 at 12:34 pm [Reply]
DtM: That venal, calculating leer on Dennis’ face shows he’s just conceived of the Protection Racket independently. The fact that it already existed, unbeknownst to him, will be forgotten by society in years to come as he puts his own horripilifying twist on it — beginning with his own kin.
Artist formerly known as BenNovember 29th, 2010 at 12:34 pm [Reply]
@Drew Funk (#51): I would so read that.
Shawn S.November 29th, 2010 at 12:36 pm [Reply]
@Old School Allie Cat (#50):
The pick axe scenario pretty much has to happen. This whole storyline has been Dirk acting like a completely normal person and we get Brad whining for weeks like a little girl and Toni being a stone cold bitch about Dirk possibly dying. Then they have sex to the sounds of an 80’s training video?
Just the thought of this ending without a much needed Brad-Toni breakup and then having the story switch back to the insufferable Luann is enough to make me puke. I think I speak for everyone when I say I’m tired of seeing the main characters succeed while being horrible, horrible people.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoNovember 29th, 2010 at 12:37 pm [Reply]
Love Is . . . . . showing him where the “little man in the boat” is.
Mr. GobotoNovember 29th, 2010 at 12:40 pm [Reply]
MW: Rose Tyler (panel 1, bottom left) looks rather concerned, as if she doubts that even the Doctor can keep this storyline from boring the world to death.
Rocky StoneaxeNovember 29th, 2010 at 12:44 pm [Reply]
@Mibbitmaker (#40): (re: Slylock Fox) Koppy McFad, the boy with the most comic books in America, would like a word with Koppy Kat! (Will Elder was born “Wolf William Eisenberg”… a name that wouldn’t be out of place in SFx!)
Mordock999November 29th, 2010 at 12:56 pm [Reply]
@Shawn S. (#56):
Well I’ll AGREE to the ‘pick-axe’ scenario as long as TJ gets it in the head FIRST.
And second.
And third.
Hell, I’m ALL for it as long as Dirk just KILLS TJ!!!
__________________________________
DEATH to TJ!!! We’ll BLAME it on Dirk!!!
November 29th, 2010 at 12:57 pm [Reply]
“Mary, try the hors d’oeuvres! I chose these plain, gray crackers to symbolize our impending bland, unsatisfying marriage.”
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoNovember 29th, 2010 at 12:59 pm [Reply]
INCOMING CUTENESS!!! (4 bb,u)
the squee was scarce today, but that one was far and away the best. :-)
Red GreenbackNovember 29th, 2010 at 12:59 pm [Reply]
Silly Cranky, it’s “a ways to go.” Also, “Shit!”
Looks like Jill is going for a holiday-themed wedding for Adrian, what with the potato nog being served at the rehearsal.
November 29th, 2010 at 1:10 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#57):
Delusion Is — Thinking that’ll keep his mind from fantasizing about the bilge pump.
commodorejohnNovember 29th, 2010 at 1:13 pm [Reply]
A3G – I love Lu Ann’s triptych duotrych? here. I like to imagine that the second (third?) panel is where she puts on what she thinks is a sultry voice. “We need to move it down the hall,” she breathes, like a six-year-old trying to imitate Jessica Rabbit. Paul’s “Wow, that’s great, Lu Ann” is exactly the kind of talking-down you hear when a parent praises their toddler for a sheet full of aimless crayon scribbles, before he catches himself and realizes that he is, technically, talking to an adult.
BlC – How did this get printed back in the ’80s? Really, I have to wonder.
BrS – Oh, is that what Brenda’s into?
FC – “And that’s when I stabbed him, Your Honor.”
FW – WHAT. That does not even make any sense. Personal days are a thing for when you have some non-job thing that needs taking care of, not a sign of weakness. But on the other hand, what the hell would you emphasize “personal days” for when you already know what he’s using them for? I mean, other than to set up a non-joke where you point out just what a Serious Person Les is? GAH. *
GT – I’m with Stu (#38): I dearly hope this turns into a Bugs Bunny-style bigger-gun battle, with Andre the Giant eventually making a guest appearance just to up the ante.
HOTC – Normally I dislike comic-strip codgery, but fuck Facebook. Say NO to the commoditization of human interaction!
Luann – Oh joy of joys, time for another week of “I can’t allow myself to have sex because it might cause vague unspecific trouble that I have no idea what it would be, because I’ve never thought about it at all, because I just accept what people with a vested interest in the subject tell me, like my mother, who has some kind of sickening incest-crush on me, so I can’t have sex with you because I’m not ready because hell if I know.” * JUST FUCK ALREADY.
MW – Is this Adrian’s bachelorette party? I mean, this is what a bachelorette party would look like in Santa Royale, isn’t it? The bride-to-be and one non-friend standing in a crowded, upscale bar/smoking room munching bland appetizers, under the watchful eye of the Dear Leader? No question about it.
Momma – MURDER HER. MURDER HER. MURDER HER.
PBS – YES.
Phantom – Fuckin’ A! Level the place, Savarna! Leave none alive!
Pluggers – Pluggers have an arrangement with the local drug dealers and the local barista? Uh, okay…
Popeye – And it’s Popeye, so of course it can get more insane than it already was. But I’ll tell you what, if my choices were to live in the ocean with an attractive (if a bit easily-insulted) mermaid or to live on land with Olive Oyl, I’d damn well be sticking my head in a bucket too.
RMMD – “Nope, that’s really the plot. My first act in the next term will be to stage a coup and replace Woody Wilson.”
6Chix – !?!? Is this a joke about the women’s-lib movement, or is it just nuts?
SFx – I love Koppy Kat’s switch to a neo-beatnik hipster look. He’s wearing that scraggly not-goatee ironically, man.
SM – Holy crap, it’s a mandroid!
Écureuil ÉcumantNovember 29th, 2010 at 1:14 pm [Reply]
@Red Greenback (#63):
Potato nog, exactly! Given the season and the overall level of neurotransmitter-mediated jollity, if fisticuffs don’t ensue we can expect them shortly to break out in a chorus of “I’m Dreaming of a Taupe Christmas”.
tb4000November 29th, 2010 at 1:14 pm [Reply]
Luann: Dirk will be there, because this is way too much of a setup for Evans to resist. Or Brad’s true love Nancy will barge in, because that slut has had her claws hooked into her man for far too long now.
Red GreenbackNovember 29th, 2010 at 1:29 pm [Reply]
Mary Worth, panel one: “Thank you, Thing.”
Fashion PoliceNovember 29th, 2010 at 1:34 pm [Reply]
We find it intriguing that shades of lavender seem to be de rigueur at Charterstone this week: the higher the status, the darker the hue. Mrs. Worth is, of course, exempt. When purple becomes the badge of the common folk, the nobility wears teal.
One wonders at the absence of Miss Dawn Weston, the reigning queen of the Santa Royale eggplant festival. The affair is incomplete without someone in an amethyst tiara.
mr 12 oz canNovember 29th, 2010 at 1:48 pm [Reply]
mary worth- i see by the men at the wedding party you have to be a main charecter to wear the magic orange suit.
mark trail- does mark have andy trained to tip him off when cherry leaves the house . shes always getting her hair done or getting bent over a fence post by ranger rick when mark makes his one and only call.
November 29th, 2010 at 1:49 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#65): Re:6Chix, my money is on “just nuts.”
Uncle LumpyNovember 29th, 2010 at 1:50 pm [Reply]
@Chyron HR (#5):
Better Shoe punchline: “Quackileaks”.
Wikibeaks?
ComcisFanNovember 29th, 2010 at 1:51 pm [Reply]
MW: A blonde Mary Richards in a pixie cut looks very worried as Mary Worth nibbles a chicken nugget and Jill enlists the bartender to pretend to be Adrian’s broken, jilted ex-lover. This may wreak havoc with Adrian’s photo shoot for the beatific praying-child wall calendar.
FW: Huh? This personal-days scene is as in touch with reality as the car-date episodes. Was there supposed to be meaningful soap-opera music when his not-quite-girlfriend said “personal days?” Did she say it snarkily and resentfully, or to cover for Les? Why wouldn’t he have a few days off to promote his book? Or was the whole point to remind us, as if we needed it, that Les is a great guy and LISA DIED and he is so swell and devoted — to work and to Lisa — that he can take a few days off to promote a book about how LISA DIED?
Zits: Why is Dr. Duncan hanging around on Sarge’s branch? Do comic-strip characters have trouble finding affordable life insurance, given their propensity to find themselves hanging onto cliffside branches?
H&L: Why? Snoopyish, perhaps.
FC: Yes, and $50 for the driver to “forget” you overnight in the school-bus lot.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoNovember 29th, 2010 at 1:52 pm [Reply]
@Red Greenback (#68): Ben’s in a second strip now, too? [*]
AndyLNovember 29th, 2010 at 1:53 pm [Reply]
I thought it was an art error at first, but they’re really sticking with it. Even when she’s leaning over at an unnatural angle, Jill is still a good foot taller than any of the men at that dinner.
I guess the moral of this tale will be, don’t trust your wedding plans to a giant who is also a bitch.
November 29th, 2010 at 1:58 pm [Reply]
Spidey- The Mole Man looks to be wearing Aunt May down. She must be exhausted after that trip from NYC to Bermuda. It’s only 770 miles underground. That seems like a of of work for Spidey just to have a mole removed.
GoldarNovember 29th, 2010 at 2:08 pm [Reply]
Luann The whole Brad/Toni/Dirk plotline sucks, but yellowed and dog-eared copies of today’s strip will still be found in safety offices 10 years from now. Safety first!
terrapinNovember 29th, 2010 at 2:24 pm [Reply]
@wossname (#23): Ah yes! How could I forget the inevitable “What is Kelly doing there?” sub plot? Or is that the main plot and this whole diamond smuggling/fishing trip thing just the set up?
Fashion PoliceNovember 29th, 2010 at 2:27 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#65) said:
I love Lu Ann’s triptych duotrych? here.
Dipstych perhaps?
We are pondering the significance of Mrs. Powers’ and Mr. Linski’s matching white-on-blonde ensembles, and whether it references Mr. Melville’s meditation on the whiteness of the whale. We have moved many a piano in our time, and we do not recall that the chore ever involved anyone in a white dress shirt.
terrapinNovember 29th, 2010 at 2:29 pm [Reply]
FC-Oh Billy. You’re just asking for the “Children are starving in China” lecture. No wait. I just noticed the look on Mommys’ face. She’s obviously too deep into the ganja to care.
MustangNovember 29th, 2010 at 2:33 pm [Reply]
MW – Not only has Adrian levitated in panel 2, she’s lost a necklace, gained a collar and one shirt cuff and has thrown her plate of communion wafers into the air. Hallelujah!
PoteetNovember 29th, 2010 at 2:34 pm [Reply]
@Mr O’Malley (#Y59): Thank you for the link. And your proposed meetup of GF Rob and Aunt May is inspired. I’ve actually been picturing Aunt May and Satchel getting along famously. I seem to need a life.
GabachoNovember 29th, 2010 at 2:34 pm [Reply]
Mary Worth – It is nice that Adrian is calm and happy and wants everyone to have a good time. But it’s not going to happen. Mary, tell her. Tell her that you just rejected her broken down, shell of a man, father. Tell Adrian that you could have been having this wedding and a lot nicer at that, but like Jill, you have better things to do. Tell Adrian to dump the halo – the Virgin of Guadalupe she ain’t. Please tell her?!
Artist formerly known as BenNovember 29th, 2010 at 2:38 pm [Reply]
Today I see that Curtis is eating Rapper Puffs for breakfast. Rhinestone-encrusted grills in every box!
PoteetNovember 29th, 2010 at 2:38 pm [Reply]
MW — I think Adrian is auditioning for the part of “Sweet Angie, The Christmas Tree Angel.” I can definitely see her on the top of the tippy tippy top of the tree. She needs to wear white, though. Wait a minute — she IS going to wear white! This could totally work out.
PoteetNovember 29th, 2010 at 2:44 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#85): And just in case anyone is imprudently curious…
http://lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/xmas/sweetangiethechristmastreeangel.shtml
UncleJeffNovember 29th, 2010 at 2:45 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#85): And she WILL climb to the top of that Xmas tree, thanks to the Ecstasy she’s been eating like M&Ms since the trip to the bridal shoppe!
Baka GaijinNovember 29th, 2010 at 2:49 pm [Reply]
Over the Hedge: That snowman is BOOTYLICIOUS!
Pluggers: That dogman is DIABETICALICIOUS!
Slylock Fox: Koppy Kat is BAKEDALICIOUS!
Drabble: Ralph Drabble is BOOTYLICOUS? No, ASS-ORBENT!
The Lockhorns: Loretta’s purse is MAGICALICIOUS!
Spiderman: Mr. Mole–EEEEEEE is RIPPEDILICIOUS!
The Better Half: Harriet’s elbows are SCRATCHILICIOUS!
Marvin: Marvin is SCATILICIOUS!
Mary Worth: Adrian is weird. Sorry, there’s no “ilicious” to describe that insane hot mess.
Baka GaijinNovember 29th, 2010 at 2:52 pm [Reply]
I forgot: Crankshaft: Ed Crankshaft is definitely not bootylicious. He’s GRODYLICIOUS!
Baka GaijinNovember 29th, 2010 at 2:54 pm [Reply]
@UncleJeff (#87): Climb to the top of the tree? No, Jill will jam that Christmas Tree up Adrian’s bootyliciousness.
spikeNovember 29th, 2010 at 2:57 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#85): Seroiusly–Mary’s gonna allow Adrian a higher position than Mary herself occupies?!?
The Spectacular Spider-BrickNovember 29th, 2010 at 3:00 pm [Reply]
(WT)DT: Makes sense, ’cause nobody ever publicizes the trials of notorious serial killers.
H&L: “But Daddy says Batwoman’s a muff diver, and you can’t even swim!”
Luann: I don’t feel like looking it up, but wasn’t it TJ’s famous Rictus Risotto that burned the house down the first time?
Marvin: “Marvin will grow up and leave”? Don’t get my hopes up.
MW: Adrian isn’t high. She’s also not taller than Mary. Clearly, she’s being drawn upwards to Heaven in the Rapture.
One-Eyed Trouser Sailor: Wow, Popeye can hold his breath for six minutes, forty seconds? No wonder Olive puts up with him.
RMMD: As opposed to an accurate misperception. Meanwhile, I’m wondering what Lisbeth Salander is doing in town.
SFx: Answer: Slylock noticed that the strip was funny.
RandeeNovember 29th, 2010 at 3:04 pm [Reply]
Maybe I’m just not paying close enough attention, but I thought the Happy Couple were only recently being berated for their “boring” invitations … and here we are now at the wedding? I smell a shotgun!
Spiff BereftNovember 29th, 2010 at 3:04 pm [Reply]
MW: Realizing that the Ecstasy (street name: “Mary’s Kryptonite”)-soaked Munchos they had just shared was the source of Adrian’s rapture, Mary worries that her own meddling powers will be compromised by a false sense of “wanting everyone to enjoy themselves”.
LogopolisMikeNovember 29th, 2010 at 3:07 pm [Reply]
Gil Thorp: Looks like I’ve got a new #1 on my list, “Things I Can’t Possibly Imagine Coach Kaz Doing” with “Knock Heads.” This, of course, replaces the former #1, “Seem heterosexual.”
Doonesbury: On a completely serious note, can somebody explain today’s strip to me? I’m pretty sure me not getting it has something to do with my unfamiliarity with the characters. But I can’t be sure and it’s bugging me.
Family Circus: : God, Billy makes me rethink my stand on corporal punishment. (And if his mom stabbed him, I’d be totally forgiving as far as capital punishment.)
Mary Worth: Also, in all seriousness, since I was out of town and didn’t catch up on comics until today, is there anybody who can shut down a man faster and smoother than Mary Worth? Seriously, she can reject a proposal before it gets made and still keep the guy on the hook. If I was single and hanging around with moneyed doctors who looked doe-eyed at me, I would be taking notes.
This GuyNovember 29th, 2010 at 3:25 pm [Reply]
Crank: How can those skin-covered bones that I’m sure Ed laughably calls “legs” possibly hold up that torso? It boggles the mind.
Artist formerly known as BenNovember 29th, 2010 at 3:33 pm [Reply]
@LogopolisMike (#95): Essentially what you need to know about today’s Doonesbury is that nephew Zipper is a run-of-the-mill college burnout, while Zonker is Legendary King of All Burnoutdom.
lynnNovember 29th, 2010 at 3:38 pm [Reply]
How is Adrian holding that plate of whatever, and why does she have two right hands?
Scott BotNovember 29th, 2010 at 3:41 pm [Reply]
MT – Well, that took us absoutely nowhere…will tomorrow’s strip show Mark unpacking, or using the bathroom after the long drive?
Pluggers – Ok, southerners, help me out here – is it when you come up north that you have to specify sweetened iced tea? I know there’s some cultural thing that applies here, but I’ll be damned if I remember it…
odinthorNovember 29th, 2010 at 3:46 pm [Reply]
Dinette Set. — OMG! For several frightening moments, I was actually in a mind-set which appreciated the humor of “Dinette Set”!!! Please help.
GA. — Are they listening to the Gil Thorp station again?
FW. — Anyone familiar with book tours and author appearances knows that, unless you’re Stephen King or J. K. Rowling, they count as sick days.
Mr. GobotoNovember 29th, 2010 at 3:46 pm [Reply]
@This Guy (#96): To me, he resembles one of Bosch’s or Brueghel’s spindle-legged monsters, lending further weight to the already well-accepted theory that Westview is Hell and Crankshaft, perhaps a cousin of Screwtape, is one of its chief demons.
terrapinNovember 29th, 2010 at 3:52 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#99):I don’t know about tea, but when I lived in Texas many years ago, if you ordered a hot dog you got a chilli dog with onions. If you wanted a plain dog you had to ask for one and you got a dirty look along with it. That was in the early 70s so I don’t know if they still do that.
UncleJeffNovember 29th, 2010 at 3:57 pm [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#97): I know that’s all true but the references to the other college and the “holiday” confused me, too.
I went to Trudeau’s website at Slate.com but didn’t find anything.
Although I did find an interesting strip from 15 years ago about Mike being introduced to the Internet — with a whole 100,000 websites!!!!
(and no porn joke).
November 29th, 2010 at 3:57 pm [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#97):
Thanks, now I get it. Also, Wikipedia helps…as it almost always does.
“Wesleyan University students hold an unofficial yearly event in April called Zonker Harris Day, celebrating psychedelic music and culture, with the Doonesbury character as a mascot. In early 2008, the new Wesleyan University president, Michael Roth, declared Zonker Harris Day to be “stupid”, and the Residential Life office officially opposed its “hippie-druggie” image. Funding for the event was banned pending a new title. After prolonged disagreement, students renamed the event “Ze Who Shall Not Be Named Day”. With a new name, the former Zonker Harris Day was held as usual on April 19, 2008. The students continue to protest what they view to be unnecessary and irrelevant censorship, while the administration maintains that Zonker Harris Day gives the University a poor image.”
This makes me very glad to have graduated from a college which has a day in the spring called Flunk Day, which is not only official, but is a day in which all classes/events are canceled.
Uncle LumpyNovember 29th, 2010 at 3:58 pm [Reply]
@odinthor (#100):
That happened to me a while back when I read a bunch of Dinette Set all at once to see what dull_old_man was seeing that I was missing. It took me a while to figure out that the characters were different from one another, the extra stuff jammed in the frame is just extra stuff jammed in the frame, etc. But I got to a place where it all seemed really damn funny.
That’s some sly stuff all up in there: beware!
wossnameNovember 29th, 2010 at 4:00 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#99): In the South, if you order tea without specifying, you will get sweetened iced tea. If you want something else, you either say “unsweet tea” (which still means iced) or “hot tea” which will get you weird looks, bless your heart!
Scott BotNovember 29th, 2010 at 4:07 pm [Reply]
@wossname (#106): Ah, thankies, that clears it up. Since I don’t care for tea – sweet or unsweet, hot or cold – I didn’t recall what the deal was with it. That does bring up the question of why someone from Florida would have to specify she’s handing over sweetened iced tea (although I hear that many Southerners don’t consider Florida to be part of the South, which may explain it).
LaziestManOnMarsNovember 29th, 2010 at 4:10 pm [Reply]
No Crankshaft, that’s not what I meant when I said your comic strip is an utter waste of ink and paper.
Scott BotNovember 29th, 2010 at 4:10 pm [Reply]
@terrapin (#102): And I don’t remember that from when I lived in Texas in the early eighties, but it was a long time ago. All I know about hot dogs is that if you request ketchup on a hot dog in Chicago, you get reallynasty looks.
commodorejohnNovember 29th, 2010 at 4:12 pm [Reply]
@LogopolisMike (#104):
In early 2008, the new Wesleyan University president, Michael Roth, declared Zonker Harris Day to be “stupid”, and the Residential Life office officially opposed its “hippie-druggie” image.
Ah, it’s always fun times when college administrations try to pretend that College is Serious Business.
Artist formerly known as BenNovember 29th, 2010 at 4:14 pm [Reply]
@LogopolisMike (#104): @UncleJeff (#103): Proving that you really do learn something new every day, I had no idea that Zonker Harris Day was a real thing. I’m curious to know if any colleges have an Uncle Duke Weekend, and if so, how many fatalities have resulted.
Rocky StoneaxeNovember 29th, 2010 at 4:15 pm [Reply]
@terrapin (#102): Makes me wonder what would’ve happened if you had ordered a “pronto pup”… would you have gotten a corn dog instead?
@Uncle Lumpy (#105): At first I thought you were referring to me, but there’s evidently another “dull old man” out there. However, I’ve been singing the praises of TDS for awhile now!
Baka GaijinNovember 29th, 2010 at 4:21 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#109): And it’s at that point that you point out the ketchup is to cover up the flavor of the meat byproducts, fat, and preservatives that make up the hot dog. If he objects, remind him where the pigs’ (or cows’ if they’re beef dogs) lips and buttholes end up, and it ain’t heaven!
Rocky StoneaxeNovember 29th, 2010 at 4:25 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#107): It really depends on whether the Florida we’re talking about is NORTH Florida or SOUTH Florida. North Florida (Panhandle, Tallahassee, etc.) is part of the South… South Florida (Miami, Ft. Lauderdale, etc.) not so much.
wossnameNovember 29th, 2010 at 4:26 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#107): Well, Panama City, which is on the Panhandle, is pretty legitimately Southern (unlike, say, Miami, which is totally different culturally). In real life she would have said “Here’s your tea, sir” and maybe added “Have a good day, y’heanh?” (The real pronunciation of the Southern version of “you hear?” is completely untranscribable.)
I guess Thomas J. Sabiston Jr. (or Brookins) figured everything had to be explained or their readership wouldn’t get the alleged joke.
AustriaNovember 29th, 2010 at 4:33 pm [Reply]
@Binder’s Butter Beans (#25): I’unno, I think “damning” must get a special pass or something. I mean, they said it in the Spongebob Squarepants movie…
@Dragon of Life (#30): I…would actually sort of like to see this. The burning question, though, is whether the three-legged raven will be able to tell the difference between a ladder and a stepladder.
@Scott Bot (#99): More info! I’m from Pennsylvania and go to school in southern Virginia. Back home everyone says “iced tea” and they’ll ask you if you want it sweet or unsweetened; here, everyone just says “sweet tea” and if you drink it unsweet they give you weird looks. And then there was the time I had to explain what a “township” was, and why we don’t have alcohol in our Wal-Marts and Targets…
Oh well, time for snark!
A3G: What’s this guy’s deal with pianos? This is going to turn distinctly Rammstein, just you wait. Someone’s gonna die at the piano. Doorrrrrrt aaaam Klaviiiieeerrrr~
BB: Oh, come on. This isn’t even sporting.
FW: It’s a tour now? Does that mean we’re going to have to put up with MORE of that week?!
GF: …Barney was my childhood. I think I’m going to enjoy this plot.
Luann: Everyone’s missing the greatest part about today’s strip — TJ’s boots. Look at them. Just look. This man is insane.
rePnuts: …..Wow. This hits way too close to home.
Jeremy’s Parents: You know, up until now I was just sort of watching the madness unfold from a distance. I had kind of an amused, bemused dislike for this strip. It’s turning into all-out hate.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoNovember 29th, 2010 at 4:33 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#113): Baka, a Chicago-style dog has mustard, onions and pickle relish. Ketchup is usually NOT an option. Regional hotdogs are an interesting subject, some of the Food Network commentary about them has been quite educational.
The QG still acts horrified when I put ketchup on a brat, along with the brown mustard and onions.
PoteetNovember 29th, 2010 at 4:39 pm [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#111): Zonker Harris Day sounds like fun. Uncle Duke Weekend could be scary.
Rocky StoneaxeNovember 29th, 2010 at 4:44 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#118): Imagine the chaos that would result if a college scheduled Zonker Harris Day and Sadie Hawkins Day for the same date!
Baka GaijinNovember 29th, 2010 at 4:51 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#117): The hot dog purists can get all huffy about ketchup on their precious tubes of indeterminate pulverized, artificially-spiced meat and/or meat-related product. They don’t have the delicate and intricate flavoring of, say, a fine aged bourbon. American hot dogs are barely meat. I’ve been to both Vienna, birthplace of the wiener, and to Frankfurt, home of the frankfurter. The mustard used in both places for wieners/frankfurters is almost as sweet as American ketchup. Wouldn’t that blow their condimentally-narrow minds?
An analogy that brings this back to the mission of this blog is: It would be like someone getting upset because a Montoni’s pizza has a handful of Funky Winkerbean’s pubes on it instead of Tony Montoni’s.
PS-Clowns are eeeeevil.
Victor VonNovember 29th, 2010 at 4:59 pm [Reply]
The icon of St. Adrian in panel two is seriously creeping me out. What’s she the patron of? Blandness or Letting Others Make Your Decisions?
Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™November 29th, 2010 at 5:01 pm [Reply]
I realize that they’re hosting the wedding on the thrifty side but where does one go to buy communion wafers for a wedding banquet? Is there a thrift store in Santa Royale or do you just pick them up at the chapel in the hospital?
bourbon babe, unbuckledNovember 29th, 2010 at 5:02 pm [Reply]
@Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#122): Mary, Adrian, and Dr. Jeff have been pocketing theirs for weeks until they had enough to serve to their reveling guests.
commodorejohnNovember 29th, 2010 at 5:12 pm [Reply]
@Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#122): Believe it or not, there are actually church-supply wholesalers you can order them from in bulk. (Assuming, of course, that you’re referring to the styrofoam bottle-cap “communion wafers” present in many churches, which are most definitely the kind used in Santa Royale, because nothing else could hope to be bland enough.) I don’t know if they stock ketchup wine, though.
ArchieNemesisNovember 29th, 2010 at 5:25 pm [Reply]
I agreed with those complaining about Mark Trail’s seemingly pointless use of three panels, until the words “Tell her I’ll call later!” jumped out at me.
While Cherry waits expectantly by the phone, what will delay Mark’s call? You just know it’s going to be a tramped-out Kelly Welly wanting to talk fishing camps until the wee hours of the night.
Poor Cherry is going to need all the consoling that Dad and Rusty can muster. But I’m afraid that’s what she gets for hitching her wagon to Mark Trail, the Sexy Spying Fisherman.
November 29th, 2010 at 5:31 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#107): As a Texas exile in Boston, I gave up ordering tea – too often I’d be presented with one of those bottles or cans of premade swill from Arizona. Those Yankees were crazy for their iced coffee, however.
And I interpreted the joke in today’s Pluggers to be the real-American equivalent of the laughably complicated coffee orders at those elitist Star Bucks places. And then I laughed and laughed and laughed…
PoteetNovember 29th, 2010 at 5:40 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#120): Arrrrrrrgh. I disliked and refused to eat pizza for most of my life, and only recently began to enjoy it. You’ve just set me back a few years.
terrapinNovember 29th, 2010 at 5:43 pm [Reply]
@Austria (#116): Re: Luann-I noticed the boots but I was hoping somebody else would mention them as I thought I might be going insane. So thank you.
Baka GaijinNovember 29th, 2010 at 5:58 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#127): ¡Pobrecita! No pizza? It’s the food of the gods! Unless it has pubes. Is that the food porn I’ve read about?
CyranettaNovember 29th, 2010 at 6:00 pm [Reply]
MW: Isn’t that couple directly behind Mary and Andrian rather spectral?
odinthorNovember 29th, 2010 at 6:03 pm [Reply]
@ArchieNemesis (#125):
“Mark . . . this is Kelly . . . Say it . . . say it to me again . . . ”
“Hello, Kelly. Do you mean . . . ‘fly rod’?”
” . . . No . . . ”
” ‘Tapered leader’?”
” . . . No . . . ”
” ‘Bass bug‘?”
“Oh, Mark, you make me hot all over! But, no . . . The other one!”
” ‘Pick up and lay down’, perhaps?”
“Oh, Mark, baby, that’s it! Just keep saying it to me!”
“I did not know that you had such an interest in fly-fishing, Kelly!”
“If you only knew, Mark… Now, say it again . . . deeply . . . in a husky voice . . . “
Fashion PoliceNovember 29th, 2010 at 6:09 pm [Reply]
@Austria (#116):
Saks carries a men’s boot with about 3-inch heels. We didn’t realize T.J. was such an upscale shopper.
November 29th, 2010 at 6:20 pm [Reply]
Worth:
Like many hack writers, Moy has switched the names of the boring and interesting characters. “Jill”, the boring name, is given to the person we’d like to know more about, while “Adrian” has been assigned to the one whose blandness aggravates the reader. For a reboot, I’d suggest jettisoning the incompetent Dr. Cory the Younger and introducing “Jillian”, an attractive woman with a troubled past who has the ability to reason.
November 29th, 2010 at 6:22 pm [Reply]
@Cyranetta (#130): They are souls condemned to the 10th circle of Hell (the Bum Boat) for the sin of meddling in the affairs of others. For the first thousand years, they suffer agonizing boredom as they witness Mary meddle the most pedestrian and quotidian of problems. In the second thousand years, their torturous boredom transforms into bitter jealousy of Mary and her divine dispensation to meddle. Some time during the third thousand years the blue ghosts gain substance and more naturalistic coloring, becoming full-fledged residents of Santa Royale, which makes targets for Mary’s meddling. And thus begins a divine punishment not even Jack Chick dared envisage.
Baka GaijinNovember 29th, 2010 at 6:24 pm [Reply]
@Mr. Goboto (#134): That is scarier than pube-laden pizza.
elsNovember 29th, 2010 at 6:37 pm [Reply]
@Pseudo3D (#35): I noticed that, too! And not only that, he seems to be looking at Mary and Adrian with a forlorn Get Me The Hell Out of This Conversation face. When you’re desperate for Mary Worth to save you from a nine-foot-tall blonde Valkyrie, you know you’re up Shit Creek.
[Old Man] MuffarooNovember 29th, 2010 at 6:40 pm [Reply]
@TheDiva (#29): I’ll put in a word for Brooke. It’s possible that all he’s saying is that Seth believes he has the piercing insight to tell if someone’s gay the same way other people believe they can invariably detect a toupee or tell if somebody on TV is high.
Mr. GobotoNovember 29th, 2010 at 6:42 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#135): But not as scary as pube-laden shrimp scampi — Mary’s pubes, as black, damp and foetid as the river Styx — which is what you get if you somehow resist Mary’s meddling after 4,000 years.
Walker of DogNovember 29th, 2010 at 6:51 pm [Reply]
FW: Has that dunkmeister from Sunday’s strip been diagnosed with cancer of the Achilles tendon yet?
Rocky StoneaxeNovember 29th, 2010 at 6:55 pm [Reply]
@Mr. Goboto (#134): Are the blue ghosts in A3G being punished by Margo for attempting to meddle in her affairs? (If the Dinette Set’s Julie Larson did a comic about Jack Chick and his followers, would she call it the Chickette Set?)
littlestevieNovember 29th, 2010 at 6:58 pm [Reply]
MT: I am wondering if Kelly Welly and Cherry Trail will have a cat fight over Mark, and Mark wont have a clue as to what the two vixens are fighting about.
Mr. GobotoNovember 29th, 2010 at 7:03 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#140): My guess is that the A3G ghosts are being punished for the sin of wrath along lines similar to those in Mary Worth. First thousand years they must watch in silent jealousy of Margo’s wrath. Then, when they are more substantial, they become the Dread Goddess’s potential targets.
(If the Dinette Set’s Julie Larson did a comic about Jack Chick and his followers, would she call it the Chickette Set?)
Or Margaret Shulock could write the Tuesday strips for Six-Six-Six Chix.
demoncatNovember 29th, 2010 at 7:09 pm [Reply]
Adrien is smiling in Mary worth not only from the Ectasy she has taken but also knowing she will soon be out of the clutches of Mary for good. crank shaft in his under wear is someone wanting to cause night mares for the readers of the strip
VioletNovember 29th, 2010 at 7:13 pm [Reply]
The real Christmas miracle is the perfectly framed target Crankshaft actually imploring the viewer to shoot him. (sniffle) God bless us every one!
MustangNovember 29th, 2010 at 7:22 pm [Reply]
@Shawn S. (#7): So that’s what crankshaft means!
This GuyNovember 29th, 2010 at 7:26 pm [Reply]
@wossname (#106): Are you going to tell them what “Bless your heart” really means?
@TheDiva (#29): RE MW: Except the characters in MW behave even less naturally than the ones in those old shorts (I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t seen it myself.) That short features one of my favorite moments in shortdom, when the counselor snaps a rubber band across the room and the protagonists react in terror: “Where’d it go!?”
True FableNovember 29th, 2010 at 7:30 pm [Reply]
That last panel is the best that Adrian has ever looked. Good Lord, it’s taken them this long.
PoteetNovember 29th, 2010 at 7:47 pm [Reply]
@True Fable (#147): Sir Fable MTK, won’t it be a heavenly moment when Scott is standing beside Adrian in front of the priest/rabbi/minister/justice-of-the-peace/Mary Herself with that exact same pose and expression? Truly, I will need to pull out my lace-edged hankie.
PoteetNovember 29th, 2010 at 7:53 pm [Reply]
LUANN — I don’t mind TJ moonlighting as one of Santa’s elves, and he’s probably a big help to the jolly old gent. But I do resent Bratoni, who are working for the public, necking yet again instead of paying attention to that video. I attended a four-day fire course myself as a volunteer years ago, and I paid attention. Fire is serious. First watch the damn video and then take your slobber-exchange into the bedroom where we don’t have to watch.
odinthorNovember 29th, 2010 at 7:54 pm [Reply]
MW. — Good grief—I just realized who panel two Adrian reminded me of: Colleen Moore. Eh, we should be so lucky!
ChipNovember 29th, 2010 at 8:00 pm [Reply]
The first panel of MARY WORTH is delightful! Obviously, Mary has just phoned in her meddling since last we saw them. As a result, Jill is still bitter about her unresolved emotions regarding Adrian’s marriage. Wisely, she has chosen to drown her sorrows at the bar. In panel one, we see her drunkenly telling the bartender “I’ll tell YOU when I’ve had ENOUGH! Now give me another watermelon cosmo before I kick your ass!” And this is just during the appetizers- I can’t wait until after dinner, when Jill makes a toast!
wossnameNovember 29th, 2010 at 8:01 pm [Reply]
@This Guy (#146): Re “bless your heart” — BWAhaha! I think you have to live in the South to really appreciate the nuances of oh-so-subtle-disapproval-but-I’m-a-good-Christian-lady-who-would-never-criticize that that can convey. As in, just to make up a random example: “Look at that poor thing parading around in that skimpy little outfit! Her mamma didn’t raise her to know what looks slutty – bless her heart!”
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#137): Everybody can detect a toupee!
Uncle LumpyNovember 29th, 2010 at 8:09 pm [Reply]
@wossname (#152):
“Her mamma — rest her soul — didn’t raise her to know what looks slutty — bless her heart!” N’est-ce pas?
AhClemNovember 29th, 2010 at 8:32 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#127):
You’ve gone over to the dark side? That means there are only 10 9 of us pizza haters left in the world!
November 29th, 2010 at 8:36 pm [Reply]
MW – This week, the part of Adrian will be played by Our Blessed Lady of Lourdes.
Rocky StoneaxeNovember 29th, 2010 at 8:40 pm [Reply]
@odinthor (#150):
There’s also a marked resemblance to silent screen siren Louise Brooks!
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoNovember 29th, 2010 at 8:44 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#149): look at the bright side, Poteet. It could have been a “hose handling” training video. . . . .
This GuyNovember 29th, 2010 at 8:45 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#129): No, in food porn, the producers usually insist that the pizzas shave their pubes.
@wossname (#152): If anyone asks, I usually just say that “Bless your heart” is Southern for “Fuck you, asshole.” It conveys the point most economically.
rocketbrideNovember 29th, 2010 at 8:47 pm [Reply]
My God! Is that Anne Coulter at the bar over Mary’s shoulder? Is she shamelessly flirting with the barkeep? Angrily demanding another drink? Hard to tell.
MWDGNovember 29th, 2010 at 8:52 pm [Reply]
Adrian is a Bluenet
Helen ClarkNovember 29th, 2010 at 8:58 pm [Reply]
Cripes, you call that a rehearsal dinner? Where’s the ((hic)) baron of beef? Where’s the chafing dish with Swedish meatballs? Where are the cocktail weenies?
And only one bartender? How can you expect to have good ((hic)) rehearsal dinner conversation if the guests haven’t been sufficiently lubricated? Goddammit, you might never find out about the groom’s affair with the maid of honor—or the bride’s ((hic)) fling with the minister!
In the Clark family, a rehearsal dinner isn’t a success until there’s at least one bloody nose, the bride is sobbing in the cloak room, and the groom’s friends are trying to scrape together enough money to bail him out in time for the goddam ((hic)) wedding.
MWDGNovember 29th, 2010 at 9:07 pm [Reply]
Some important points…the man w/ Jill looks like the British comedian, Mr. Beane…It appears that someone is feeding Mary in panel one…or she is using a plastic mannequin’s hand from Hudson’s budget store in Dearborn Michigan? I hope Mary and Jeff relax and the reception later this week and really boogie down. I believe Mary was one of the first White dancers on Soul Train and once hooked up with Don Cornelius.
agonyNovember 29th, 2010 at 9:44 pm [Reply]
@wossname (#115):
I still don’t get the alleged joke. Aren’t Pluggers supposed to be old and/or old fashioned? I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone over the age of about 25 order an iced tea – they drink tea or coffee. Have I been getting it wrong all this time, and Pluggers are actually fat teenagers? I’m confused.
TabbyNovember 29th, 2010 at 9:52 pm [Reply]
my favorite jack chick
TabbyNovember 29th, 2010 at 9:54 pm [Reply]
hey! there’s supposed to be a link!!
http://rubbersuitstudios.com/ptcct.htm
JumperNovember 29th, 2010 at 9:58 pm [Reply]
Crankshaft’s dearest wish, of course, is to once again, after decades, actually see his own junk with his own eyes. Just once more, before he dies.
Gatorfan68November 29th, 2010 at 10:00 pm [Reply]
MW: Shouldn’t that be “Clam and happy”?
This GuyNovember 29th, 2010 at 10:01 pm [Reply]
@agony (#163): Iced tea is hardly some newfangled, coastal-elitist invention that hasn’t found its way to the United States of Pluggerdom. It’s been around since before anyone alive today–including pluggers–was born. I don’t have statistics, but I’d lay odds that here in the South it ranks behind only Coke in the choice of cold beverages (as discussed above.)
OneTonTomatoNovember 29th, 2010 at 10:24 pm [Reply]
@Helen Clark (#161): Clark family wedding sounds like mine. My brother and I got in a fist fight as my bride and I were leaving the building. A good time was had by all. Except maybe, my bride.
zerowolfNovember 29th, 2010 at 10:41 pm [Reply]
BGSS: We finally get to meet a person lonlier than the Maytag repairman. The man selling vacuum cleaners in Hootin’ Holler. A town with 35 people, 27 teeth, one family tree and no power lines.
Pseudo3DNovember 29th, 2010 at 10:43 pm [Reply]
@MWDG (#162): Only Mary Worth would be old enough to do that…
zerowolfNovember 29th, 2010 at 10:45 pm [Reply]
Lockhorns: Please be talking about her pocket book, not Loretta!
zerowolfNovember 29th, 2010 at 10:54 pm [Reply]
9CL: “Besides, it wasn’t ‘gaydar’ it was the patented Ernst/O’Malley handjob that tipped me off.”
Black DrazonNovember 29th, 2010 at 11:15 pm [Reply]
Is Crankshaft’s goal to stop having a waist? Entirely? Well that doesn’t sound safe a–Well, he’s come to the right universe!
Rocky StoneaxeNovember 29th, 2010 at 11:22 pm [Reply]
Brevity — I haven’t seen a 76 service station around here for awhile, but these guys find one on the moon?
Andy Singer — It’s a hairball, so I’m guessing “Vishuddha, the Throat Chakra”. (Anyone out there an expert on Chakras?)
Baka GaijinNovember 29th, 2010 at 11:37 pm [Reply]
@Mr. Goboto (#138): EEEEEEEE!
@This Guy (#158): Oh. Shaved pizza pubes. Gotcha.
@Jumper (#166): Cranky junk, EEEEEEEEE!
@zerowolf (#170): Ha ha! It’s only funny because it’s true.
CarlyNovember 30th, 2010 at 12:17 am [Reply]
I’d like to visit an alternate universe where the art is drawn first and then the writer has to make up dialogue for it instead of the other way around. I want to visit this place because I’m imagining the dialogue someone would make up for this Mary Worth.
Mary: How are you enjoying your sandwiches?
Adrian: They’re delicious! Also [flings plate onto ground] I’ve decided to become a nun! [sparkles] Pray with me!
November 30th, 2010 at 12:29 am [Reply]
Mary: “How are you enjoying your sandwiches?”
Adrian: “I’ve wondered the same thing!”
November 30th, 2010 at 12:57 am [Reply]
@AhClem (#154): I’m so sorry. Yes, I’ve gone over, at least for a few kinds of bland pizzas.
I know it won’t help, but I am still a dedicated member of the tiny group that hates and avoids all types of carbonated beverages, including water. Also the tiny group that hates and avoids coffee. Naturally pizza is less healthy than carbonated water and coffee, but so it goes.
Uncle LumpyNovember 30th, 2010 at 1:12 am [Reply]
I removed the mechanical safety interlock on our old self-cleaning oven to make it an 850° pizza oven. Damn fine eatin’. The new oven has an electronic interlock. Progress? Feh.
ElkMeadowNovember 30th, 2010 at 2:02 am [Reply]
@Uncle Lumpy (#180):
Our oven went wacko and went into the oven-cleaning mode while we were trying to cook the take-n-bake pizzas from Papa Murphy’s. Charred paper pans do not make a pizza taste good. Fortunately my daughers were house-sitting a few miles away, so we cooked them there, and my guests had a great sense of humor about the whole thing. Maybe if we’d taken them off of the plates and weren’t so afraid of the oven catching on fire….
In other news, I call that Jill is going to be Adrian’s new stepmom. You had your chance, Mary; don’t whine. Jill’s shown more enthusiasm for Jeff in ten seconds than you did in ten years.
mollificentNovember 30th, 2010 at 2:02 am [Reply]
OK, I simply can’t resist the urge to post this. THIS is probably what you’d see at a Plugger’s ceilidh. :) (I was there to see it live, and DAMN it was funny.)
OK, yes, it’s probably funniest to harpists…but someone should really send it in to Brookins. ;)
PoteetNovember 30th, 2010 at 2:28 am [Reply]
11/30 LUANN — So now we are supposed to believe that during all these years, Bratoni has never gone any further than kissing???
On second thought, I do believe it.
PoteetNovember 30th, 2010 at 2:31 am [Reply]
11/30 PHANTOM — “Heeeere I come to save the daaaaaay!
That means that Mighty Mouse is on the waaaaay…”
November 30th, 2010 at 2:44 am [Reply]
Bizarro — Happy birthday, Dan Piraro’s father!
DtM — Where’s the love for good ol’ Mr. Wilson?
Mary Worth — Jill busts some moves… and Jeff is collateral damage!
9CL — “You can tell it’s Mattel, it looks like hell!” (One of my dad’s favorite sayings when I was a li’l shaver!)
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