Comics Blog: December 2010

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"I can't believe you're calling out hot sexy comic strip action without mentioning this week's Luann! Is it because you eyes burn with shame and confusion each day this queasiness progresses? Because ... because I get that. When I saw Toni Daytona charlie horse humping Brad today, I called in sick and went back to bed." --Maggie

Main navigation: Advertise Discussion Forum About Twitter RSS Feed Search: Main content: « The SEXXAYNESS continues Metapost: Comments of the week, for your weekend » Love, death, and “sweet bippies”

Shoe, 12/3/10

I’m a little embarrassed by how much information about the world of Shoe I carry around in my head, but it took today’s strip to make me notice a gaping hole in its bird-person society. The denizens of Treetops, East Virginia (that is the name of the town where the bird-people live — one of the many things I am embarrassed to know) are, as we see today, represented by an elected bird-official; their society also features dying print media, a medical system and associated pharmaceutical industry, institutions for disposing of their dead honorably, and sexually deviant auto mechanics. But where do these birds go for spiritual comfort? I can’t think of any appearance of the sort of stereotypical priest-bird-man that one might expect from the strip; the resulting need for divine guidance explains the weird sway that Madame Zoo Doo has over her customers. Look at how desperate the Senator appears for news of his soul’s fate in panel one, and how relieved he is in panel two! Yet the Madame never offers any guidelines for living, never creates the foundation for a system of ethics that might transform her superstitious mummery into a great moral belief system; instead, she merely uses her mystical connection to the “other side” as a source of power and control here on earth (or whatever the hell the freaky bird-planet these creatures live on.)

Mark Trail, 12/3/10

Oh my goodness, the hilarious sitcom-style misunderstanding hijinks are already getting underway, and Mark’s not even out of the shower. Kelly playing idly with the phone cord in panel three is a delight — is in fact so delightful that it almost seems to indicate that the strip is becoming aware of its own ludicrousness, which would of course ruin everything. But Kelly’s weird innocence salvages things. She’s not trying to scheme here; her spoken motivations in panel two are completely honest (and why wouldn’t they be, as they’re spoken aloud to no one in particular?). She really does want to make sure Mark doesn’t miss an important call! She’s helping!

Marvin, 12/3/10

I’m not sure why Marvin and Marvin’s dad (Jeff, Marvin’s dad’s name is Jeff, another thing I’m embarrassed to know) have such looks of numb horror in panel three. Maybe Roy’s misjudged modern mores and “you bet your sweet bippy” is still an incredibly shocking and profane thing to say. “Who is this monster,” thinks Jeff, “and how can I keep my poor son away from him?”

Mary Worth, 12/3/10

Dr. Jeff is usually closely aligned with Mary on Team Destroy Anyone Acting Even Slightly At Variance With Acceptable Norms, so it’s rather touching that he’s showing a little softness towards Jill’s human frailty here. “It happens, Mary! I mean, in my day I occasionally got blotto and lunged at someone inappropriate; if I hadn’t, Adrian wouldn’t be here today! Whoops, I’ve said too much.”

Adrian is taking good care of her boozy friend; based on the look of Jill’s hair, I’m guessing that the bride-to-be dunked her bridesmaid’s hair in a bucket of ice water, to shock the drunk out of her. I’d say that Scott is being awful kind to allow Jill to take his seat at the sweetheart table, but I’ve seen no evidence so far that the future groom even bothered to show up for his own rehearsal dinner.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/3/10

Oh, right, Rex Morgan, remember that? As usual, a promisingly hilarious storyline has wrapped up dumbly, with everyone loving Mayor Dalton because they read about his prostate on Pacebook, and with the mayor convincing his rival to drop out of the election by agreeing to give the man’s wife a volunteer job at the museum. Still, I’m amused by today’s strip, in which Dalton decides that unsolicited cheer from a middle-aged mustachioed gentleman is a good opportunity to talk “street.” “Thanks, man! Wait up! That’s how the kids talk on the Pacebook, right?”

Hi and Lois, 12/3/10

Cyclists often set up white-painted ghost bikes as memorials on the spot where someone riding a bicycle was killed by a car, which makes Ditto’s spectral white bicycle extremely creepy to me. Perhaps Lois ran over Ditto months ago on that very spot; driven mad with grief, she can’t remember that her youngest son is dead, and every evening she comes home from work, expecting him to come out and move the bike-memorial out of the way. Dot can no longer bring herself to shatter her mother anew every day, and now just feeds her comforting lies. “Ditto’s, um, not here right now, but he wants a new bike, mom! I’m sure you’re going to give him one, real soon, and he’ll be so happy!”

This entry was posted on Friday, December 3, 2010 at 08:57 am and is filed under Hi and Lois, Mark Trail, Marvin, Mary Worth, Rex Morgan, M.D., Shoe. | 199 responses to “Love, death, and “sweet bippies”” Oregonian
December 3rd, 2010 at 9:06 am [Reply]

“Jeff, Marvin’s dad’s name is Jeff, another thing I’m embarrassed to know”

Uh… I think we all know that if we read the first panel, Josh.

Ellie
December 3rd, 2010 at 9:06 am [Reply]

I dunno, kids. Looks to me like Adrian is giving Jill more wine.

CanuckDownSouth
December 3rd, 2010 at 9:07 am [Reply]

I see the reason why Adrian puts up with Jill: she’s the only one who bothers to do *anything* with her. Nobdy apart from an old biddy to go dress-shopping, no shower, no fiance who cares enough to come to their rehearsal dinner … and she must have no other bridesmaids, as that job description certainly includes “take care of drunk friends so that the bride doesn’t risk getting barfed on”

Mollyscribbles
December 3rd, 2010 at 9:08 am [Reply]

You do realize that you’re destroying your readers’ ability to ever view comics in a non-twisted way again, right? I mean, around here, it’s perfectly fine to leave us thinking Ditto is dead and our theories on the Pluggers or Shoe universes reach disturbing levels of speculation, but what if we ever bring it up around a normal person?

. . .

HA! Had you going. CC readers aren’t really the type to interact with normal people.

Josh
December 3rd, 2010 at 9:08 am [Reply]

@Oregonian (#1): Whoops! Ha ha! I’d like to point out that I knew that despite the fact that I didn’t even notice his name there.

Josh

Thomm
December 3rd, 2010 at 9:09 am [Reply]

Yes, son, what TV needs is more humor about an infant’s full diaper. That’s good, clean entertainment for the kids.

Terry in Maryland
December 3rd, 2010 at 9:09 am [Reply]

Phantom: Well, well, well. They aren’t even clear of the prison yet and Diana already knows something is up between Kit and Savarna. This is like an episode of As the World Turns.

Flummoxicated
December 3rd, 2010 at 9:23 am [Reply]

FW: Hey, kids! It’s time for another episode of “Les is Condescending to His Fans”!

Shawn S.
December 3rd, 2010 at 9:26 am [Reply]

Marvin: Jeff, Marvin is a baby. You can “fwip” to any channel you want. At the very least, give Roy (dammit I learned something about Marvin) something useful to do and take the baby away from the TV. A grumpy old man sitting on my couch all day would get old real quick.

Shoe: The fact that Madame Zoo Doo works at the local bar instead of her own place of business doesn’t help reassure the truthfulness of her spiritual puns.

H&L: The house has been painted white as well! Must be where she murdered Hi after his long golf outing.

Bigjag
December 3rd, 2010 at 9:26 am [Reply]

Luann- Oh god. Ewewewew. This conversation’s not going in direction I think it is, is it?

terrapin
December 3rd, 2010 at 9:30 am [Reply]

MT-Meanwhile, back at Lost Forest, Doc is in the lab cooking up a cure for baldness. “This will be my greatest triumph since inventing that talking picture frame!”

MW-To me Dr. Jeff looks a good twenty years younger and is having no trouble with those knees. Dancing with a drunken wedding planner seems to have worked wonders on him.

yellojkt
December 3rd, 2010 at 9:34 am [Reply]

Didn’t Laugh-In used to feature a lot of body-painted babes in bikinis? If that is bygone prudishness, we could use more of that in prime-time.

nescio
December 3rd, 2010 at 9:41 am [Reply]

Crankshaft: I hope this doesn’t segue into a flashback sequence about the time the baseball team was held hostage by notorious 1940’s gangster, “Over-the-Counter” Rumballs.

Crock: “Hike”?

Curtis: “Veranda is hungry for tacos” No further comment necessary

DtM: That’s something Pluggers are well aware of.

Spiderman: “THLAMM”? Apparently they hired a new guy with a lisp to do the onomatopoeia.

Nekrotzar
December 3rd, 2010 at 9:41 am [Reply]

I was deflated to be reminded that Jill’s antics are merely occurring at the rehearsal dinner. Or maybe this is just a warmup for Jill as well, and at the real wedding, Jill and Jeff will start getting it on right there on the altar during the vows. I hope the photographer managers to get a picture of Mary’s reaction, for the scrapbook.

Terry in Maryland
December 3rd, 2010 at 9:41 am [Reply]

@terrapin (#11): “MT-Meanwhile, back at Lost Forest, Doc is in the lab cooking up a cure for baldness. “This will be my greatest triumph since inventing that talking picture frame!””

You’re a better person than me. I saw that frame and thought that Doc and Cherry must be running a meth lab when Mark is away.

terrapin
December 3rd, 2010 at 9:48 am [Reply]

@Terry in Maryland (#15):Don’t feel bad. I thought meth lab too but decided to tone it down for the kiddies.

Dennis Jimenez
December 3rd, 2010 at 9:56 am [Reply]

MW – PREDICTION – Adrian and Jill, driving off a cliff in a T-Bird – hand in hand….

gleeb
December 3rd, 2010 at 9:57 am [Reply]

I think the Mayor and his prostate may just lose that guy’s vote for being too forward.

‘bean: While you’re drawing the smug smirkiness, howsabout going for a gag occasionally?

Sam Driver, delegator!: It’s a good thing Steve’s there t do all the actual lawyering.

Luann: Meanwhile, of course, they have missed all the information on exotic metals fires, or whatever it was, and many will die because of it.

One Big Happy: She’s totally checking out her old man’s crotch.

Plinko Commie
December 3rd, 2010 at 9:58 am [Reply]

Archie: Mrs. Whatever The Teacher’s Name Is gets angry at Jughead for what she assumes is his commentary on her lesson,, but really she should be thankful, because based on the drops of water surrounding his onomatopoeia indicate he was drowining in his own drool, and only that poorly-timed yawn separated him from a run-in with Masky McDeath.

Family Circus: Mommy is right to look on numbly at the triplets. Right now, she’s imagining three Dollys saying “Look, Mommy! THREEplicates!” That’s the sort of thing that drives you into the comforting arms of Old Crow.

Sally Forth: Either Ted is trying to think of a subtle way to tell his daughter that she’s so fat, she sweats bacon grease, or he’s worried that Sally will find out about his fetish.

Dennis the Menace: At first blush, it appears that Dennis’s menacing has devolved to the point of They’ll Do It Every Time-level irony (Alanis definition). But actually, this might be one of his most evil plans to date, involving a complicated cross-section of Pleasantville and The Truman Show.

Henry, parlaying his connections and willingness to do anything — ANYTHING — for money, somehow smuggled in a flat-screen TV into a living room furnished by every decade except the last three. Alas, his 1080p dreams are quickly rendered impotent by the monochromatic reality of his town’s TV station, which apparently never got the memo about the federally-mandated switchover to digital. But they’re broadcasting in shades of blue, so more likely they’re using their signal as a form of visual Musak to keep the masses depressed and unwilling to rage against the mass media machine. And here comes Big Brother Dennis, innocently pointing out that the TV has buttons on it that change the channel, so do you really need those fancy innovations such as “Blu-Ray” and “remote controls” and “color”? Of course not, Henry. Come back home, Henry. Come back to … Dennisville. It’s for your own good.

Beetle Bailey: Discouraging: Camp Swampy is still preparing for a war against the USSR, referring to their simulated battle opponents as RED. More encouraging: Camp Swampy’s commanders are pimping up their helmetwear.

I am Jack's username
December 3rd, 2010 at 9:58 am [Reply]

It seems to me that “another incident” is exactly what Adrian wants: look at that smile on her face as she proffers Jill support. “No,” Jill mumbles, “I don’t want any water.” “It’s vodka, sweetie, now drink up… we’ve both got four more hours of this crap.”

Dood
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:00 am [Reply]

That’s it, Doc. Tell that microscope to open wide and say, “Ahhhh.”

Rocky Stoneaxe
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:01 am [Reply]

@Hank (y#226): I’ve been wearing Ivy Caps for years, but didn’t know they were called that. I’ve always referred to them as “Sluggo Caps”… as in Nancy’s Sluggo!

LoFoMoFo
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:05 am [Reply]

MW: I’m at sea on this one. Is this the reception or the rehearsal dinner? If it’s the reception, where is Adrian’s wedding dress? Why were guests dancing before dinner? How did Jill get trashed so quickly? I officiated a wedding this summer. We had the rehearsal dinner at the Olde Spaghetti Factory. There was no dancing. No one wore purple dresses. No one got knee walking drunk.

The Epstones
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:05 am [Reply]

Marvin: Um, no, 40 years ago, nobody considered “Laugh-In” to be “edgy” for using the word “bippy.” No more “edgy” than the “Dean Martin Show” was.

Neal R
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:07 am [Reply]

HL… I wish a. Leaves in my yard piled themselves up b. The sky would turn black during the day c. All the shrubs would turn black d. My car had no back or side windows
MW… Since when was califlower considered a table decoration???? IMBIBED! Ye Gads!, Omygosh, Golly Willikers

Neal R
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:10 am [Reply]

MT… I wish My desk phone had a 20′ handset cord.

Scott Bot
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:11 am [Reply]

DT – It’s gonna be pretty funny when Dick gets this guy to the sentencing hearing and they find out he escaped a long time ago, and that they’ve been carting around an empty suit the whole time.

FW – I consider the book tour plot to be educational – I’m writing a book, and if and when it gets published and I go on a tour, I now know how not to treat the people that read and buy my book.

Luann – I don’t wanna hear about anything else Toni has shaved today. Or maybe I do, I don’t know. I’m confused.

MW – Dr. Jeff seems a little miffed that he’s missing out on taking advantage of a drunk girl…

Pluggers – Ok, what exactly is the joke here? All I see is a fat Plugger.

Tom Allen
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:13 am [Reply]

Another classic Adrian pose. In case Adrian’s medical career doesn’t work out, she has a great future modeling for generic silhouettes. You know, the little figures that accompany instructions such as “Please take a seat,” “Place the oxygen mask over your nose and mouth,” and “Do not tip the refrigerator!”

Thomas B.
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:15 am [Reply]

I was raised in a strict Pentacostal family. We went to church 4 times a week. And sometimes after church a church member–Mother Smith–would give these small religous comic strips to the kids. The point of the comics was to scare the kids away from drugs and alcohol. They always featured a crazy drunk person who ruined their life and didnt get into heaven at the end of the strip. They were marginally effective strips as they kept me off hooch until I was about 21. But if the church had just let us kids read Mary Worth, why I don’t think I’d have ever touched that bottle.
——
I refuse to believe that woman is drunk until I see her standing next to a popping ‘Hic’ bubble.
—-
I think Jack Elrod forgets in which decade this strip is set. Just 10 days ago Mark on his cell phone but now he nor Cherry care to make use of it.
—
So Mark Trail has now evolved into a campy 70’s sitcom called based in the woods? What else could you call it but “Tree’s Company”?
Knock on our cabin door….
Enjoy the Lost Forrest view….
Where we’re stuck in 1952
Tree’s Company too.

See that ball on the floor….
And the name in it too…
He’s the disgrace that drew Rusty’s face
Tree’s Company too.

You’ll see bunnies frolic while geese fly through
panel 2….
A sideburned guy punching slew.
Tree’s Company too.

Dood
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:16 am [Reply]

Once again we’re treated to the weird pre-kindergarten logic of Mark Trail, where an unlocked door means company is expected, so anyone can and should enter, and a ringing telephone means you’re helping out by answering it for whomever actually occupies the room.

CanuckDownSouth
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:17 am [Reply]

Should someone tell the Forths that you can’t get a tree-topper to stay on top of a tree with a hook?

Dood
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:18 am [Reply]

That Stan, the owner of Stan’s jaunty cap shop, sure is a cheery fellow.

Rimpy
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:19 am [Reply]

MT: I’m too lazy to try to find it in the archives, but didn’t Cherry once fondle a phone cord erotically just like Kelly Welly is doing? I think the artist just swapped the already-nearly-indistinguishable heads of the women (or more probably – their hairdos).

Rimpy
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:20 am [Reply]

MT: I’m too lazy to try to find it in the archives, but didn’t Cherry once fondle a phone cord erotically just like Kelly Welly is doing? I think the “artist” just swapped the already-nearly-indistinguishable heads of the women (or more probably – their hairdos).

commodorejohn
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:20 am [Reply]

6Chix – Okay, but which of you two is responsible for the warped, loopy perspective?

A3G – So this is going to be another of those storylines where the wacky guest character gets way more excitement and action than the A3G principals, isn’t it? Well, I’m okay with that.

BrS – He’s Ted Kennedy! And he’s Gene Siskel! Together, they fight crime!

Curtis – I’m kind of bemused by Curtis stopping to explain a slang term to the audience. Maybe The Phantom should adopt this approach for the obligatory * For Ghost-Who-Walks! and * In the Bandar tongue!

DT – Haha what. Did someone bet Brozman that he couldn’t get a…uh…neo-medieval robo-gimp printed in the funny pages?

FC – Thel’s sadly amused expression is kind of heartbreaking.

FW – OH GOD DAMMIT NOT MORE OF THIS SHIT.

GT – Yeah, that’ll definitely…do…uh…something. Well, at least Gil’s aimless, random non-coaching is doing someone some good this time.

HOTC – Okay, points for the prop gag.

JP – Hey, the solar-panel factory! It’s “reference previous storylines” week in Judge Parker!

Luann – Okay, in what universe does your significant other massaging out a cramp prompt a line like “I am so glad I decided to shave my legs this morning?” I want to know so that I can avoid it at all costs.

MT – Bwahaha, Kelly’s expression is just precious.

Marvin – Marvin rants about the crudity of modern TV. Pot, meet kettle.

MW – I have absolutely zero experience with being drunk, but I don’t think it typically wears off that quickly.

PBS – Say what you want about Guard Duck, he does get things done.

Phantom – Oh joy, time for The Phantom to join in on the “wacky sexy misunderstandings” week!

Popeye – Aaaaaand another promising storyline fizzles out in a complete anticlimax. Well, that’s the Popeye way.

SF – Hil, you could probably lift him.

SM – And the tally of people way, way more effective than Spider-Man increments yet again.

WoI – Dear lord, The Wizard Of Id becomes aware of modern fantasy RPGs? This…I’m not sure if it’s good or bad, but this is portentious.

Amateur
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:23 am [Reply]

@Terry in Maryland (#15): No, no. THIS is a meth lab.

MW: “Incident”? You’re exaggerating, Dr. Jeff. It’s not an incident until the drunk wedding snarker vomits all over the table.

Naked Bunny with a Whip
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:23 am [Reply]

Does Madame Zoo Doo carry that huge crystal ball and stand everywhere she goes? She should get an iPad.

[Old Man] Muffaroo
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:26 am [Reply]

Bizarro – Interestingly enough, I’d just been imagining 9CL’s Seth saying “My eyes are up here” when kissing anybody with a normally proportioned face. (British aviator? I’d think having a stiff upper lip would give him the mother of all cramps.)

Curtis – I still say she’s a PYT bull!

Smirky – Can overweening smugness be fatal? We can but hope. And while we’re hoping, closed casket, please!

Mary – Poor Jill has imbibed too much. Maybe some food would help. It would certainly give more substance to her inevitable hurling around midnight.

Pluggers can’t play pocket pool because their pockets aren’t big enough to reach the cue.

Spider-Man – Nice Kirbyesque feel to the art today, with a classically Sinnot-inked Thing.

[Old Man] Muffaroo
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:28 am [Reply]

@Mela (#y235): T for “Tranny,” of course.

Josh – “…bucket of water ice water…” Too many water.

Rx – So much going on. The Mayor looks like a happy Ditko guy in panel 1, getting his hand shaken by an expressionless Mr. A. Panel 2 looks like Dick Tracy would if it was drawn a lot better (with STAN’S name so prominent, we have to ask if Stan is a friend of the artist, and whether the guy with the thumb is named STAN). Panel 3 tops them both, with Hizzoner looking like a mummified MRSA victim, and Dr. Morgan smiling out at the readers with a look perfected by TV’s George Reeves in his epic role as Clark Kent, the Man with a Joke on the Entire Human Race. (“Clark, are you coming with us?” “In a moment, Lois,” says Clark, favoring the invisible viewer with that trademarked ironical smile. “In a moment.”)

@Dood (#32): Your comment is noted, but I’m leaving my Rx paragraph unedited this time.

Cowracer
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:31 am [Reply]

Why in God’s name is everyone wearing a pinkish-purple top in EVERY comic strip. Is it some sort of horrible disease awareness day that I haven’t heard about?

Rocky Stoneaxe
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:33 am [Reply]

Shoe — “Sh__ floats” fits the character better than “Hot air always rises”!

Mark Trail — Innocent? I think not. In reality the “phone cord” is a 4′ strand of Mark’s pubic hair Kelly playfully wrapped around the phone! (Because it’s shedding season in LoFo… and Mark is only able to grow a single long hair on his pubes!)

Naked Bunny with a Whip
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:35 am [Reply]

@Shawn S. (#9): Perhaps the fortune-telling is just a cover for Zoo Doo’s real Madame business. That would explain why a drunken senator knows her so well.

Calico
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:40 am [Reply]

Wow, I’ve never seen a “Ghost Bike.” How sad. I’ve seen plenty of roadside crosses, though-saw one as recently as last Wednesday, on my way to Jean Lesage Airport.
I’m really surprised now that I’ve never seen a white memorial bike in Funky Winkerbean, or several hundred for that matter.

And in Mark Trail I see Doc is happily playing with his chem set, perpetuating the works and wisdom of Owsley Stanley. You look so so happy, Doc!

True Fable
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:43 am [Reply]

Finky Winkerstinker Sometimes the smirking is just too much, not to mention the self-congratulatory fwapping Batuik’s calling “writing”.
WTF GIL I can’t get past the bizarre, shortened misshapen arm in panel two. Quick! Let’s have a contest!
Sam Driver’s Pretty People Posse! Wait, you just GOT to work a brief synopsis of the Judge’s book ago, didn’t you?! Man, I want his job.
Bradann In a realistic online strip, Brad would be hinting that he’s willing to go downstairs on her since neither of them will give each other stubble burn this early in. But Evans won’t allow that. No, Brad is only hoping for a kiss. Good old sweet Brad. Yup. Good old virginal Brad.
Fist O Justice Theater Speaking of frustrated would-be lovers, poor ol’ Kelly Welly is doing her best to set the stage for seduction for that hunka-hunka paragon of Boy Scout virtue Mark Trail. Oh, the Fist O Justice Theater longs for the days when Mark Trail used to be a tad bit rakish in his approach to women, but unfortunately they have to sneak up on him now in a motel room when he’s in taking a shower – and even then five will get you twenty he’s still wearing his jockey shorts because holy mackrel, he might see himself in the mirror and get embarrassed.
I say this whole thing can be salvaged if Cherry goes ballistic, as the Fist O Justice Theater players KNOW she can, and go shooting up the joint looking for that two-timing four-flusher Trail and his advantageous squeeze Kelly. Lock and load, Cherry!
Mary Wrath Now, Jeff! Here’s your chance to get Mary to dump you! Say something suggestive, get the drunk chick’s number, ANYTHING! Oh you fool, you weak limp fool. Mary’s going to platitude you into permanent celibacy. There’s one advantage in Mark Trail’s wooden behavior – at least he’s got wood, Jeff.
Kit Walker, Bangalla Ranger! Come on, Diana. This is Kit, who can’t get worked up over anything. We know why the kids are blond, honey. It’s okay, you can admit it. Steve Canyon went through and you just couldn’t resist a man who actually enjoys and has, sex.
The Amazing Thing Thlamm. Well, quonk me!

Calico
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:46 am [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#35):
Re: Curtis – OMG IT”S ALMOST KWAANZA TIME!
I can hardly wait for the next story/parable! : )

FW again – OMG IT”S DEBORAH KOONS GET HER OUT OF HERE GO GO GO AND DON”T COME BACK LEAVE US ALL ALONE THANK YOU

Lawyerbob
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:46 am [Reply]

MW: I think Jill vomiting in her wine glass qualifies as “another incident.”

MT: This whole storyline is now so beyond my capacity to make sense of that I’m just blissfully swimming in its deleriousness like a dreamscape. In other words, Mark Trail has officially entered David Lynch territory.

Digger
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:51 am [Reply]

MW: Adrian is a good friend. She’s even got her hand in position, ready to catch Jill’s inevitable vomit.

Charterstoned
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:51 am [Reply]

MW – One could imagine that Jill has planned Adrian’s “Wedding at Cana” theme so that the “water” she’s drinking is miraculously being turned into chardonnay. Can’t wait for the wedding day hangover.

MT – Don’t you just love punctuation? That ellipsis really puts the sultry into Kelly’s phone voice!

Luck_Strike
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:55 am [Reply]

I’m pretty sure “Sweet Bippy” is the codeword Jeff has conditioned into his son and grandson. All in preparation for him to attain sweet revenge for being blacklisted from the writing staff of Laugh-in those long years ago. “Here comes the judge, eh? Well here come the executioners! Hippies wouldn’t let me in just because I denounced all those commies to the Warren Commission.”

Sugarcrook
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:57 am [Reply]

Am I reading too much into today’s Luann or is it one of the more overtly sexual strips since Gunther wore the caterpillar/dick warmer costume? Toni would know Brad was clean shaven as her leg cramp developed during their makeout session. When Toni tells Brad she is glad she shaved her legs that morning he takes it to mean the modern meaning of “shaved legs.” Comforted that his face will stay rash free do to her lack of fuzz he assures her that her crotch is also safe from stubble burn leaving her to thank him by allowing him to… you get the idea.

Jim North
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:05 am [Reply]

9CL: Really, 9CL? Really?

Archie: Hey, what joker threw the flash grenade in the third panel?

Blondie: A casual, non-hamfisted reference to online purchasing that isn’t expected to stand in for a punchline?! Mark this day on the calendar, my friends!

Crank: “OH GAWD I CAN SEE THROUGH TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME”

Crock: Nobody remind him! Nobody remind him!

DT: I have to give Dick Tracy props . . . I never would have thought I’d see a 16 Blocks/Creature from the Black Lagoon crossover in my lifetime.

FC: I see the monthly PJ delivery has finally arrived. If they’d just stop breaking the one they’ve got, they wouldn’t have to keep buying spares!

FW: “My book is a horrible piece of shit! Get out! GET OUT! DEAD WIFE!”

GT: And I am a pinball wizard.

H&J: “What? Oh, it’s because I put that strange emphasis on ‘fixing’, right? Yah, I don’t know why I did that either.”

Jumble: “DUMB FUCK”

Luann: At least he said “face”, amirite?

Marm: “He’ll just start eating the other patrons here and now.”

Phantom: Yes, don’t let the fact that he sought you out, freed you from prison, and is now risking life and limb to get you home to safety trick you into thinking he might still have feelings for you, honey. Obviously he started humping the good lady captain’s leg the second you were declared a moldering corpse.

SF: I’m starting to think that these bus stop scenes are from when human society really started breaking down, as obviously the public transit systems have completely stopped working yet people still dutifully wait, and wait, and wait, and eventually fall asleep only to be devoured by crack teams of evolved birds and insects. Just a shame that the insects were apparently turned upon and devoured after the majority of the humans were gone, since we don’t see any of their anthropomorphic spawn still about later in the timeline.

Pseudo3D
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:05 am [Reply]

Who’s betting that rather than Adrian marrying Scott at the actual wedding, it will be more focused on Jeff and Jill?

Just Call Me E
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:06 am [Reply]

Meh…Laugh-In was too tame for our family. We watched Benny Hill!

Binder's Butter Beans
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:11 am [Reply]

I like how Adrian thinks more wine will cure Jill’s drunkenness. She’s so sweet! And not too bright!

(Don’t tell me there’s probably water in that wine glass; I like my version better.)

Oregonian
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:15 am [Reply]

@LoFoMoFo (#23): “I officiated a wedding this summer. We had the rehearsal dinner at the Olde Spaghetti Factory. There was no dancing. No one wore purple dresses. No one got knee walking drunk.”

Do I detect a note of jealousy?

Edgy DC
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:19 am [Reply]

Pacebook rules. I heard the entire Milford girls basketball team is going to pay tribute to Mayor Dalton by shaving their asses.

Pseudo3D
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:21 am [Reply]

@Binder’s Butter Beans (#54): Incorrect. Wine, even white wine, is never clear.

That is probably vodka.

Illustrator Steve
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:23 am [Reply]

MK: While Doc has been sitting there playing with his “Uni-bomber chemistry set” he has apperantly perfected having the wall mounted picture frame do his talking for him. (See panel one) But Cherry doesn’t seem to mind hearing her father’s voice being broadcast from a wall mounted picture frame without any picture in it because she’s become used to this sort of stuff. Afterall, she’s sharing a remote wilderness cabin with her strange father who never goes anywhere and a hidious looking adopted mutant child named “Rusty”. Not to mention that she sees giant animals everytime she looks out her cabin window!
Now, on to panel two… Looks to me like Kelly Welly was farting while sitting in that chair when the old corded antique phone rang. (In panel three it’s plain to see the look of relief on her face after letting go of that fart).
Now on to imaginary panel #4, (that is if there had been a panel #4)… Mark enters the room shoting in large bold font with exclamation points, “Kelly! I knew it must be you in here. Id recognize the smell of your nasty farts anywhere! Good to see you babe! Lets have a roll in the hay before Cherry calls me……WHAT? WHAT’S that you say? CHERRY IS ON THE PHONE HEARING EVERY WORD I JUST SAID?!!!
After a minute of standing there stunned with the phone still in her hand Cherry asked Doc if he knows any good divorce lawyers in the Lost Forest metropolitan area. Doc simply throws his voice to broadcast his laughter from the picture frame while he continues to play with his Uni-bomber chemistry set.

Mustang
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:26 am [Reply]

@LoFoMoFo (#23): If this were a pool party, by God, we’d know it was a pool party. And, yes, I think we all agree we most certainly do want another incedent.

ComcisFan
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:28 am [Reply]

FW: Another book signing with fawning praise from adoring fans! Riveting!

bats :[
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:30 am [Reply]

If we’re really lucky, Mark will never get out of the shower…hijinx will ensue nonetheless…

ComcisFan
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:32 am [Reply]

MW: Do Jill and Adrian have more of a past than merely Jill standing up for Adrian at work meetings? How else to explain Jill’s bitter distress at the prospect of Adrian’s marriage, and Adrian’s inexplicable coddling and support of Jill as Jill aims to ruin every moment of prenuptial planning and celebration?

Mr. Goboto
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:33 am [Reply]

FC: No, Dolly, they’re “triplets,” not “threeplicates.” Not everyone was grown in a vat like you and your brothers.

tekende
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:42 am [Reply]

Everyone in today’s Rex Morgan is shouting at the top of their lungs because the street sweeper is coming and it’s really loud.

TheDiva
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:45 am [Reply]

Thanks Josh, now I’m picturing Adrian dunking Jill between buckets of hot and cold water, like Fezzik does to sober up Inigo in The Princess Bride. It’s probably the best mental image to come out of this storyline thus far.

9CL: Out of all the strips to push the puritanical boundaries of the newspaper comics page, why does it have to be THIS one?

C’shaft: Lillian spiked the rumballs with cocaine this year!

DT: …Do I even WANT to know why the Villain of the Week is in a gimp mask?

FW: “Now get out of the way. I have many more compliments to accept with transparently false modesty today.”

Luann: See above re: 9CL

MT: Idiot Plot cleared for takeoff…

MW: “All is strange and vague.” “Are we dead?” “Or is this Santa Royale?”

SM: Since he no longer has an active role in his own comic, Spidey tries to make himself useful by offering an analysis of the mythological motifs present in the narrative.

bunivasal
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:47 am [Reply]

Madame Zoo Doo is smarter than other anachronistic gypsy stereotypes. Rather than operating out of a hundred year old caravan parked in the creepy abandoned fairgrounds, she’s taken her base of operations to the place were all bird monsters go to seek solace and take stock of their life: a filthy dive bar.

Mr. Goboto
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:47 am [Reply]

@TheDiva (#65): My name is Jill Black. You killed my buzz. Prepare to die.

Johnny Knuckles
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:48 am [Reply]

@Lawyerbob (#46): It’s entirely possible Jill was wracked with the dry heaves and coughed up a little something into her wine glass. She may be inspecting her mucus for discoloration or traces of blood.

Braniff
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:48 am [Reply]

@Mr. Goboto (#63): Does anyone suppose that Dolly-and her brothers–might have Asperger’s or some similar disorder? That would be a very interesting turn of events for the Family Sickos!! (Perhaps it could be worked into the proposed FC movie.)

Mr. Goboto
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:51 am [Reply]

@Braniff (#69): “Mommy, teacher says all of us must have ass-burgers, but I want cheese burgers!”

hcv
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:52 am [Reply]

Shoe: Kids just loves the avian caricatures of Tip O’Neill! Something that was already a bit dated back when Jeff McNelly was still alive.

Mark Trail: Kids just loves the Harry Potter references! “Hey look! Talking picture frame! Maybe it’s Dumbledore!”

Mr. Goboto
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:56 am [Reply]

@hcv (#71): The only way I could see a Harry Potter/Mark Trail cross-over is if Mark turned out to be a wood-golem. Rusty is a house elf, of course, but his hideousness already gave that away.

AJ
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:59 am [Reply]

Please let the next piece of CC merch be emblazoned with the final panel from MW.

Lobsterboys
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

I have to say that, as a white blooded American male, I certainly enjoyed the link to the ghost bikes. One of the pics happened to be a lovely female standing next to her mountain bike, her top only PAINTED on… WooHoo!

Red Greenback
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

I was going to make the comment: “Yeah, like Marvin really gives a shit.” Then I realized that’s pretty much all Marvin does.

Lobsterboys
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

@Bigjag #10 – yes, it is going there. but no worries. at the pace that these two are going, we shouldn’t have too much to worry about for another several years.

Calico
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

@Braniff (#69):
I think several comics characters may have Asperger’s – LuAnn Powers, Mark Trail, Rusty, the FC crew, a few folks from Gasoline Alley, others I’m not keeping track of…

Fashion Police
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

@LoFoMoFo (#23):
The complex medieval social code that defines Charterstone requires wearing a specific shade of violet dress to rehearsal dinners, depending on one’s status and relationship to the bride and wedding party. As the local shamaness, Mrs. Worth is exempt. We too are agog with curiousity about the missing bridegroom. Since the Father of the Bride is wearing the orange suit of distinction (as opposed to electric blue) we cannot fathom what hideous shade custom decrees for the groom. Since Detective Hewlett is an habitual orange suit wearer himself, we cannot imagine he would be in hiding. Perhaps he has been called away for another drug bust, and where he will earn another reprieve by getting shot again.

Shawn S.
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

@Mr. Goboto (#72):

Here lies Rusty
A FREE ELF

Darkefang
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

Curtis: If an expression is so dated that it needs explaining, maybe Ray Billingsley should wonder why he has a 10-year-old kid is using it.

FW: …And the cavalcade of compliments that Tom Batiuk has never heard continues!

Johnny Knuckles
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

@Bigjag (#10): Luanne: What chafes more? Face stubble or leg stubble?

Artist formerly known as Ben
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

MW: Isn’t “We don’t want another incident” what the Syndicate guys say on “The X-Files” just before Mulder’s latest contact is murdered and all evidence of his/her existence erased? Just sayin’.

RMMD: “Hey Mayor Dalton! Treat your prostate well with Quaker Oats. It’s the right thing to do.”

GA: If Scancarelli wants to make humble home-health aide Gertie a simple, relateable character, maybe he shouldn’t draw a vanity plate on her car.

GT: I’d like to see Gil right after the second panel, when he realizes he just dripped paint all over his Members Only jacket. “You’re paying for this, old man! You said this roller was dry!”

FW: Les is already working on his next book, an instruction manual called “Creative Self Ass Kissing.”

Phantom: Curious as to why Diana has that reaction. “Savarna? Oh dear, that fling we had in college did not end well. If Kit is looking for a threesome, it better hadn’t be with her.”

Popeye: You can tell a writer is getting bored with a story when he out of the blue drops the whole thing and pushes the conclusion back 90 years.

H&J: Herb, are you a 40-ish husband, father, and restaurateur? Or a tall Keane kid who wandered away from the circle.

EC: It looks like Terry Laban is getting a serious case of Spiegelman envy. It’s a big improvement on “oops, I killed a deer after all” though, so I won’t complain.

DtM: “We can’t get any color but beer bottle green, but still, changing channels. Like, whoa!”

FC: Thel stares in wordless awe at the triplets and their mother. She knows that if she’d had to push out three melonheads at the same time, her number would have been up that day.

Johnny Knuckles
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

@Scott Bot (#27): Pluggers wear high waisted pants, man! Get it? Get it? Hahahahahaha.

Ethan Shuster
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

9CL: Ya know, Brooke, these “fantasizing about Seth” strips would make much more sense if you hadn’t made the character look so very, very gay.

Walker of Dog
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

@TheDiva (#65): The catfish-themed hood with a front zipper is the latest fashion trend sweeping the supervillian community. I blame Lady Gaga.

Nekrotzar
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

@Binder’s Butter Beans (#54):

It’s not related to today’s comics, but I do want to give you a long overdue salute for your awesome Rum Doodle reference.

Fashion Police
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

We are convinced that no one has actually said “the poor girl has imbibed too much since the Mauve Decade, which reinforces our theory that Mary Worth is meant to be a Victorian melodrama, and tha the color of the dresses is therefore symbolic. We are however, at a loss to explain the hideous orange suits, and why there is such an appalling lack of servants.

We are also convinced that Miss Daytona and Mr. deGroot are doing it like rabbits whenever Mr. Evans isn’t looking, and that virginal act is for his benefit only.

Walker of Dog
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

RMMD: That citizen is just trying to be supportive with his thumbs-up gesture, not realizing that the mayor becomes alarmed in the presence of extended digits.

MT: No one listens to Poor Cherry’s Dad. Right to his face, his own daughter dismisses his statement about waiting for Mark’s call. Continue with your research, distinguished gentleman – look through that microscope long enough and you’ll find your sad, shrunken dignity.

– Meanwhile, nobody dandles a phone cord like Kelly Welly. Hubba hubba.

MW: “It happens”? No, Jeff, things don’t just happen. All events are external manifestations of internal conflicts that can only be solved by intrusive meddling and the careful dismantling of the psyche. Now go get Mommy another spritzer.

GT: As Gil leads the revolutionary mob up the steps of the Winter Palace, he is careful to include workers from the service industries in his proletarian vanguard. Hammer, sickle, meet paint roller.

Luann: So Brad is going to rub his face on Toni’s calf? Ooh, sexy…?

Jumb: Glazed expression, skinny build, “too high” reference…the pancake cook was fired because he was a |M|E|T|H| |H|E|A|D|.

Fashion Police
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

@Fashion Police (#87) said:
We are convinced that no one has actually said “the poor girl has imbibed too much since the Mauve Decade

Oh dear. We have omitted the quotation mark after the word “much.” We are deeply chagrined.

Jesse
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

Yeah, Adrian is “taking care” of Jill, alright. She is encouraging Jill to drink more, nearly forcing her to down another glass of wine. “Have another drink, Jill, that way you wouldn’t remember your shame in the morning.”

At last, Adrian’s plans to shame Jill are coming to fruition. She ensured an open bar at her rehearsal dinner knowing that Jill would take full advantage of it and get plastered in the cocktail hour, and probably had the reception hall make sure a bucket of ice water was standing by to dunk Jill’s head. Now, instead of seeing if the kitchen can get some food out to Jill to help her sober up, Adrian is forcing more hooch down her adversary’s throat.

It is obvious that Jill takes a great deal of pleasure in insulting Adrian on a regular basis, but that holds no water compared with Adrian’s nefarious plan to horribly shame Jill in one flew swoop. Soon, Jill will be crawling on the dance floor, covered in her own vomit, but Adrian will insist that the show must gone on. She’ll off-handedly apologize to Jill when she “accidentally” steps on Jill’s shaking hand during Scott and Adrian’s dance. Jill’s cries of anguish will be drowned out by the band.

Never call a woman’s wedding place settings boring.

Chip
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

In a city near my town, a church acquired several bikes and painted them all-white. Then they placed them around the city and announced they were there for people to use to get someplace, whereby they would leave them for the next person to use. As I’m sure you can imagine, they all ended up re-painted a different color, and disappeared! At least we know where Hi & Lois got Ditto’s last bike!

Gas Alley: What to buy a 110-year old man? NOT green bananas, that’s for sure!

Wilbur
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

Pretty sure you’re giving Marvin’s look of terror way to much credit for listening/caring to the beings around him. It is just random happenstance timing, that he just dropped a massive, unexpected deuce in his pants. In which case the bug eyes are less “terror” and more “SURPRISE DUMP EGO POWER SURRRRRGE.”

Patrick
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

I do love that Adrian’s dress, Jill’s dress and the flowers on the table are three completely different shades of lavender, but every man in the Mary Worth-verse has to wear either a tan or powder blue sport coat.

greghousesgf
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

@Chip(#91)
In Amsterdam in the sixties, there was a bicycle painted all white, including the tires, that anyone could use and would just leave it parked when they were done with it. So maybe there’s a time travelling hippie in Hi and Lois? that’d at least be more interesting than anything in the actual strip!

els
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

I’m confused by the shading underneath Kelly’s bosom here. At first I thought it was a shadow, but it’s in the same place whether she’s leaning forward or backward. What the hell is that? Did a car run over her torso on her way over to Mark’s? (And in case you were wondering: Yes, “Closely examining something having to do with Kelly Welly’s bosom” is near the top of my “Things I Never Thought I’d Do” list.)

Sequitur
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

Luann:
I am so glad I decided to shave my legs this morning

This would have been funny if Leslie Nielsen or Lloyd Bridges had said it.
Unfortunately, they’re both dead. Dammit.

MWDG
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

MW:

Wow, not since the brilliant Enormousshop.com storyline w/Terry Bryson have we seen such oblivious lesbian overtures by two Mary Worth cast members…Adrian and Jill seem to be experiencing the love that dare not speak its name. Perhaps Karen Moy is saying…”there will be no weddings in Santa Royale until all people in love can get married!”

on the other hand…Jeff, although barely considered to be a man, by even the most generic definition that differentiates between the sexes, has probably experienced some sort of hormonal rush after dancing with Jill. This “man,” a successful doctor with a lovely log cabin has been trying to bed a falsed toothed dried up old hag for the last ten years. Remember Mary had the hots and perhaps oral sex with that councilman she threw herself at.

Rhekarid
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

MW: To be fair, I think lots of people would resort to drinking if they were being stalked by a horrible two-headed Jeff/Mary creature.

Sequitur
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

@Chip (#91):
Gas Alley: What to buy a 110-year old man? NOT green bananas, that’s for sure!

Why not? By the time he got them peeled they would be ripe.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
December 3rd, 2010 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

late to the snark today. :-(

FW: Christ, what an asshole!

Bizarro: well, that’s turning a trope on its head!

GF: I was amused at this.

LaCuc: Heeeeee!

Luann: o MY! I may be reading too much into this due to personal reasons, but that combination means something particular in the queekshouse. . . .

Mutts: very late to the Cathy retirement party.

9CL: despite heavy searching, TV Tropes doesn’t seem to have a trope for this. I’m still rather amused by it, despite several reasons why I shouldn’t be.

standard oversnark disclaimer and apology.

Poor Thompson
December 3rd, 2010 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

@Mollyscribbles (#4): I know I’m already corrupted. One time when I was hanging out with some normal people, and I casually made a joke about how all the bad guys in MT have facial hair, and then remembered (after receiving a bunch of blank stares) oh yeah, not everybody is lucky enough to know about Comics Curmudgeon…or Mark Trail, for that matter.

Baka Gaijin
December 3rd, 2010 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

Pluggers: “Why some pluggers don’t need long shirttails…is they use their belts to keep their manboobs from swinging wildly and chafing when they walk.”

The Better Half: Is not-Harriet the recently-retired Cathy?

Spiderman: Mary Worth is imagining herself as Mr. Grimm and Jill as…

Mutts: Unironicly funny.

Doonesbury: Clever. Acknowledge existence in reality then bow out with another pop culture obligation.

CW
December 3rd, 2010 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

I refuse to acknowledge any Marvin comic where the title character isn’t considered the most monstrous or offensive thing in the room.

Écureuil Écumant
December 3rd, 2010 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

Josh said:

Yet the Madame never offers any guidelines for living, never creates the foundation for a system of ethics that might transform her superstitious mummery into a great moral belief system;

In her way, she does — by advising that hot air always rises, and by epitomizing that hot shit always rolls downhill.

This “height” and “depth” thus define the metaphorical extremes of a continuum that could serve very nicely as a simple, convenient yardstick by which to assess the extent of others’ deviance and moral turpitude; and isn’t this, after all, the primary justification and chief reward for adopting a system of ethics?

Anonymous
December 3rd, 2010 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth’s last panel, meet today’s xkcd’s last panel. Please.

Binder\'s Butter Beans
December 3rd, 2010 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

@Nekrotzar (#86): Ah, bless your heart. I was starting to think I’m the only person on earth who’s read Rum Doodle – no one ever knows what I’m talking about! :)

Pseudo3D
December 3rd, 2010 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

I can’t view SeattlePI comics from my home computer anymore. The comics, they just aren’t showing up.

This happened a few days back. Anyone else having problems with this?

Gary
December 3rd, 2010 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

I’m pretty sure that there is (or at least used to be) a “Reverend” bird popping up occasionally in the Shoe-niverse, sporting a clerical collar.

As usual for Shoe (and Archie, and Beetle, and many others), it’s whatever is wanted for the joke-at-hand without much thought to keeping any overall consistency.

Charterstoned
December 3rd, 2010 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

MW – Speaking of today’s final panel, that vase of roses looks suspiciously like an urn, dare I suggest, the one containing the cremains of one Aldo Kelrast? I think we could all take this as a cautionary note to those who would drink and drive.

Écureuil Écumant
December 3rd, 2010 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

@100 queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando said re Luann:

o MY! I may be reading too much into this due to personal reasons, but that combination means something particular in the queekshouse. . .

Hail yeah, you don’t wanna gouge that fahn finish with that sixty-grit o yourn.

Écureuil Écumant
December 3rd, 2010 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

@Charterstoned (#109): Thank you for your refinement and good taste in not appending the cautionary postscript “… or you, too, will be pushing up roses.”

Baka Gaijin
December 3rd, 2010 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

@Pseudo3D (#107): I have problems with Seattle PI comics when another page (or pages) has scripts running. That is, when a page is loaded and it looks complete but it’s really not because a script still hasn’t finished running. The solution in this case is to hit the Stop button on each potential offender browser window. I’ve noticed Vbulletin message boards seem to cause this problem for me.

Happy hunting!

commodorejohn
December 3rd, 2010 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

@Poor Thompson (#101): Every now and again my brothers ask why I’m laughing and I have to stop and explain to them. At least they’re pretty understanding about it.

@Pseudo3D (#107): The Seattle PI and other ComicsKingdom-based sites use Javascript – do you have a script-blocker plugin installed?

MarkTwail
December 3rd, 2010 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

First off, Thanks to ElkMeadow, bourbon babe, unbuckled, Poteet, DumbBlone and odinthor for the welcome a couple of threads ago. I belatedly answered the 12/1/10 thread at #245 and #246.

So much going on today, but what really got my attention was the Erlenmeyer flask in the first panel of Mark Trail. Like the stethoscope draped around a doctors neck that yell “Hey, I’m a doctor,” nothing says “I’m a scientist, dammit!” better than an Erlenmeyer flask, albeit this dusty old one here not pointlessly bubbling away as they usually are.

Cloudbuster
December 3rd, 2010 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

9CL: This sequence of strips is just a particularly pronounced expression of McEldowney’s central themes.

Virtually all the women in the strip are sexy and, supposedly, aggressive and dominant. Virtually all the men in the strip are weak, emasculated creatures who exist only in subservience to the women. However, the women are given a false dominance, because they are only really dominant because any male characters that exhibit any sign of threatening masculinity are avoided or neutered in some way.

The only reason Seth is allowed to be a strong, sexy, handsome man is because he is metaphorically neutered — being gay he is untouchable by the strip’s women and therefore apparently fair game to use as a sexual object, because he’s not actually sexually threatening to the supposedly dominant female characters. I’d love it if Seth pulled one, last heterosexual urge out of his, um, hat and gave her the screwing of a lifetime. After he was through with her, she’d be thinking “Amos who?” Please God, no hand sex, though!

I can only surmise that Bill must have shown signs of actual masculinity (he did punch a superior officer while standing up for his girl), otherwise he wouldn’t be so thoroughly hated for the crime of … well, it’s not clear … apparently marrying a completely willing Edna rather than exhibit some psychic knowledge that she was sacrificing her “great love” to be with him because … uh, well … it’s not really clear why she thought she should be with him, but boy did she bottle up a lot of hate about it. You’d think she was sold as a child bride and forced to marry against her will. In Nebraska.

If I had to guess, I’d say Juliette’s ex committed the unforgivable sin of not wanting her to keep his balls in a jar on the shelf.

Meanwhile Uncle Roger must be gay, because he … gasp … procreates prodigiously and has traditional morals. Must neuter the man who gets out of line.

Honestly, it’s giving me Planet of the Apes flashbacks. I can hear Roger, played by Charleton Heston, shouting “Get your paws off me you damn, dirty Burber women!”

Sequitur
December 3rd, 2010 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

Ah! The Holidays! Time for giving and time for treats!

Johnny Knuckles
December 3rd, 2010 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

MT: Most labs have a periodic table on the wall. Cherry’s pop puts up a sports playoff chart.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
December 3rd, 2010 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

@Cloudbuster (#114): well ranted, Cloudbuster.

of course, Seth could give Edda and Amos the time of their lives at the same time, iykwim, aittyd. We’d have to change Amos’ name to Pierre, of course.

Dood
December 3rd, 2010 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

@Johnny Knuckles (#116): Doc’s got a laboratory bracketed by bracketology. “Mark called. He said he will call you later. And it looks like Duke is in the Sweet 16!”

bats :[
December 3rd, 2010 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

No doubt Scott and his friends are outside, making a few final plans for the “stag” party. Still, there are heroes to be found everywhere…

Marthas Rolling Pin
December 3rd, 2010 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

GT, p2. A rare appearance of Socialist Realist art in the funny pages.

Joe Blevins
December 3rd, 2010 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

MARVIN: “No, I mean with these primitive claw-like appendages of mine, it’s nearly impossible to operate a remote control! There’s like eighty bazillion channels with nothing but kid shows now.”

Joe Blevins
December 3rd, 2010 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

MT: I occasionally forget that Mark’s family lives in some kind of giant honeycomb. It’s nice to be reminded now and then.

Walker of Dog
December 3rd, 2010 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

@Johnny Knuckles (#116): My lab doesn’t have a periodic table. As far as I can tell, he doesn’t even know the difference between halogens and noble gases.

Such a disappointment.

Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
December 3rd, 2010 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

MW It all makes much more sense if you assume that Jill and Adrian are lovers who have decided that they can’t let their conservative community know that they are gay. Hence Adrian’s appreciation for Jill supporting her at the hospital, and her focus on her at the rehearsal, and the absence of her fiance. He knows that he’s just there to act as a beard (or whatever the lesbian equivalent of that is). Jill, meanwhile, is coping badly with her lover’s scheme, trying to derail this travesty and throwing herself drunkenly at Dr. Jeff in a misguided attempt to play straight. Mary, meanwhile, suspects something is up, but this is not the sort of thing that her stock of platitudes can easily address, so she’s frustrated and at a bit of a loss.

9CL Making an idle comment about American dancers being less manly than European ones = evidence of raging homophobia. Going on and on about gaydar, having sexual fantasies about your roommate’s high school attempts to deny his sexuality, against his expressed wishes, and telling him about them in detail = the respectful actions of someone who could never possibly be a bigot.

It’s all so clear now.

Maybe we could send Edda to Charterstone, where her hypocritical judging and cockteasing would fit right in, and let Jill and Adrian escape to the artistic community of New York.

gnome de blog
December 3rd, 2010 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

@Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#124):
Maybe we could send Edda to Charterstone, where her hypocritical judging and cockteasing would fit right in, and let Jill and Adrian escape to the artistic community of New York.

…Where they could live with Margo and inveigle Professor Papagoras into a drug-fueled threesome. Tommie and Lu Ann can move in down the hall with Aunt Iris, the piano, and the cat.

All in all, a thorough and penetrating analysis.

Neal R
December 3rd, 2010 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

There is ‘ONE’ white bike. It is near West Village NYC. I saw with my own pearly browns.

Mibbitmaker
December 3rd, 2010 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

(Running out of time to read it all; apologies for any oversnark)

ReFOOB: Sure, spoiled tiny Lizzie is decisive! Not so, grown-up teacher Lizzie.

DT: “More Dread” is a Mexican wrestler?

FC: “No, they’re all number 3.” (coincidentally, “FC” is also the initials for “Flying Circus”)

FW: We‘ll argue about it!

HotC: Tatulli: “HAH! Thought I was being a luddite, didn’t you? Suckerrrrrrrrrr!”

MW: Speak for yourself, Granny!

OBH: …by sniffing their butts.

Phantom: Oh, Diana, don’t get upset with Kit because ‘Savarna The Kit-Lover’ is involved. Get upset with Kit because he did nothing to find out if you were still alive after quasi-9/11!

Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
December 3rd, 2010 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

@gnome de blog (#125): Is the piano in Apartment 3-H a Bosendorfer? If so, any chance we can see Margo being bent over it by Seth?

Neal R
December 3rd, 2010 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

MW You are now entering the twi-light zone. Where it is not unusual for people to suddenly be transformed into a vase of red flowers.

Neal R
December 3rd, 2010 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

And pearl necklaces appear and dis-appear from one moment to the next.

dale
December 3rd, 2010 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail trivial matter: Why did Kelly wait until she was all the way back in the chair to say “Hello”?

What is the historical connection between Mark and Kelly?
I’ve been aware of MT most of my life, but only through other people’s newspapers. Like others, I thought it was Sunday only and Mark was some kind of park ranger, until just several years ago.

Steve the Pocket
December 3rd, 2010 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

Crock: Oh look, they’re trying to pass off “hike on” as a euphemism for “piss on” again. It’s been a while since the last time they did that, but I think it was more than enough time for us to find evidence that this is a real term that normal people use. For my own part, I’ve got nothin’. You?

Curtis: Speaking of euphemisms, I assume “tapir” here is a creative euphemism for “butt-ugly”, if only because it really couldn’t mean anything else. But then he’s still calling her “pretty,” so… I don’t know. All I know is that hearing “pretty young thing” and “tapir” in the same sentence makes me think of this.

Funky Winkerbean: Batiuk’s really not even pretending this isn’t his fantasy anymore, is he? I’m very close to just writing to him and calling him out on his shit. Not just because I’m liable to snap I keep it bottled up much longer, but also because I’m really curious how he’d react. The tendency for bad webcartoonists to lash out hilariously at anyone who dares question their genius is legendary, and Batiuk sounds crazier than any of them just judging from his normal writing.

Heart of the City: Bwuuuuuhhhh? Where the— how did— so wait, you just carry your home telephone around with you everywhere in case it comes up in conversation? What?!?

Herb and Jamaal: Uh-oh, somebody call a doctor. Herb’s contracted late-onset Keane Syndrome.

Marvin: Why do I get the feeling it’s just Tom Armstrong’s parents who thought “you bet your sweet bippy” was offensive? Actually that makes a lot of sense. Growing up with super-uptight parents does tend to leave people not knowing where normal people draw the line between entertaining and offensive, which explains most of Marvin.

Shoe: I wouldn’t listen to her if I were you, man. She didn’t forsee getting evicted from the place she used to work out of and having to move into the bar, so she’s probably a phony.

Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

@Steve the Pocket (#132): I’m assuming by “tapir”, Curtis meant one of these: http://tinyurl.com/2vaqq5f (SFW, but damned ugly)

The Spectacular Spider-Brick
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

A3G: “Love is in the air, everywhere you look around…”

BH: “Then I farted.”

thorps. It’s a new Dick Tracy villain, Paint-Roller Face!

That Strip With The Two Fellows: Herb’s response makes perfect sense, since his son unnaturally stressed the word “FIXING.” So it’s not even a punchline.

Luann: Sure “face” was the first choice of words?

One-Eyed Sailor: When they repeat this particular Popeye story-arc in 2096, I hope someone remembers to change the date.

S-M: Lucky it ain’t Cerebus the Aardvark! He’d kick both your asses!

WoI: Breastplates affect armor class, not hit points, dumbass.

Jim North
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

@Steve the Pocket (#132): RE: Crock . . . “hike” isn’t being used as a synonym for “piss”. Rather, it refers to the way a dog will hike up its leg while pissing. Hiking something up (be it a leg, a skirt, or what have you) is not a particularly uncommon phrase.

littlestevie
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

MT: Just what kind of doc is Doc anyway? The last time most MDs have looked through a scope was in their 1st year of med school. It looks like he in running some sort of pathology lab in Lost Forest. Not that most labs are usually in the bowels of a hospital or an offsite location near several other MDs, not out in the boonies. And whoever above said Cherry should “lock and load” is great. Seeing Cherry running around with a double barrel 12 gauge would be great, and who would she go after first? Kelley or Mark?

Jim North
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

He’s a MAD SCIENTIST! MOO HA HA HA!!!

KT
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

Lio:

No, no, no, whut th’ hell yew dewin’, boy? Y’all want a Texas Christmas tree, y’all gotta decorate it with cow skulls!

tb4000
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

9CL: Considering the term “handjob” in this strip takes on a whole other superfluous meaning….aaggh.

Peanut Gallery
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

@Neal R (#26):
I wish My desk phone had a 20? handset cord

You can buy ‘em. They’re awesome. But you do risk being accused of having a “Plugger’s mobile phone.”

Dood
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

Doc’s been working for decades trying to synthesize illudium phosdex, the shaving cream atom, in his Lost Forest laboratory.

gnome de blog
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#128): Sadly, we may never know, since Bolle only saw fit to draw a small portion of it on one occasion. I think it’s a baby grand rather than an upright (others who aren’t too lazy to do the research may feel free to correct me). I won’t speculate on whether Margo regards that as a fit platform for her talents.

It would be both fitting and highly satisfying, however, for Margo to accomplish something with Seth that would leave the Burber women livid with envy. Any contest between Margo and Juliette would leave the latter in a pool of jungle-print ooze.

Dood
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

Is it more than a little creepy that Kelly is giving the Jack Elrod ball that particular look?

Peanut Gallery
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

@dale (#131):
Why did Kelly wait until she was all the way back in the chair to say “Hello”?

It’s the best position for putting that sexy little lilt into the final “o” sound.

Cloudbuster
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

@Steve the Pocket (#132) “The tendency for bad webcartoonists to lash out hilariously at anyone who dares question their genius is legendary”

Oh, man, so true. The author/artist for Barkeater Lake nearly blew a gasket the time I criticized him on his blog for an extended “breaking the third wall” plotline with the artist as a character in the story (this was not a normal conceit of the strip), and for general failure to follow through on most of his story lines.

Meanwhile Brooke McE famously disabled the 9CL forums because a critic was creating mocking mashups of his strips. I daresay they hit too close to home.

I’ve noticed there appear to no longer be any reader forums for PvPOnline, but I don’t know what the story with that is.

Cloudbuster
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

@me (#145): Fourth wall. Fourth wall, you moron!

gnome de blog
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

@littlestevie (#136): Maybe Doc is his given name, like the one in the Seven Dwarfs.

commodorejohn
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

@Steve the Pocket (#132): It would be pretty fascinating to chew Batiuk out. I’d have tried it myself, except that A. I can’t find his address, and B. I imagine he’d just sniff that I was unworthy of a response – it’d be a lot better if you could talk to him in person.

@The Spectacular Spider-Brick (#134): Breastplates affect armor class, not hit points, dumbass.
All depends on the system you’re using. I believe Final Fantasy Tactics has armor just give a straight HP boost.

Dennis Jimenez
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

@KT (#138): @KT (#138): Topped with a Lonestar beer can….

Cloudbuster
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

@littlestevie (#136): Some country vets still use a microscope on occasion, for quick scans of samples for parasites, etc. Maybe he’s a veterinarian; it would fit with the strip’s theme. The beakers and stands and other high school lab accouterments … I got nothing.

Dood
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

Why would Cherry ask for her father’s help in reading the results of that pregancy test kit? Oh, by all that’s holy, noooooooo!!!!

Mr. Goboto
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

OT: For anyone who’s interested, I found a God-Man archive.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

@Steve the Pocket (#132): one of my favorite QC strips of all time.

UncleJeff
December 3rd, 2010 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

Love Is…workin’ the pole together at the bisexual strip club.

un malpaso
December 3rd, 2010 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

This is definitely the most interesting Mark Trail plotline I have ever seen… to the extent that I am actually curious what will happen next. It’s a very odd feeling… especially when applied to Mark Trail.

Or maybe it’s just the buxom curves of Kelly Welly’s shirt that are awakening these strange feelings in me. It’s a shame, however, that Jack Elrod can’t distinguish female individuals except by the shape of their jet-black hair and the existence/absence of a turtleneck on their pink shirts.

Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
December 3rd, 2010 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

@Cloudbuster (#150): My sister is a vet (small animal). She uses an old optical microscope for a few things, but she’ll admit to keeping a large stack of glassware in her office for the same reason I suspect many lawyers have a wall of leather-bound books — to impress and scare lay people.

Amateur
December 3rd, 2010 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

Curtis: Oh, okay, that clears it all — wait, WHAT?

Government Cheese
December 3rd, 2010 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

MT: I would be quite outraged if some lady showed up to my place unannounced, sat on my furniture, knew I was in the shower, and answered the phones from would-be suitors. He needs to marry this woman.

littlestevie
December 3rd, 2010 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

@Cloudbuster (#150): If Doc is a vet, shouldn’t he have put Rusty down by now?

Tomics
December 3rd, 2010 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

Maybe Kelly Welly is hoping a paramedic is calling. After all, it looks like she was just run over by a car judging by the tire tracks just below her boob- line.

ComcisFan
December 3rd, 2010 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

@Joe Blevins (#121):

So true, and almost all of it is far more appropriate for children than what we watched decades ago, i.e. Loony Toons. My tot has picked up some non-kid-appropriate stuff, by today’s standards, from those shows, Scooby Doo and from the Gumby and Pokey DVD I purchased.

Bootsy
December 3rd, 2010 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

@ComcisFan (#161):

Loony Tunes cartoons are not considered appropriate for kids today? Really? How come?

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
December 3rd, 2010 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

on sale in Westview.

gotta catch them all.

ikkle big kitteh. [*]

winter corgsquee big and little.

whozitwhatzit
December 3rd, 2010 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

Luann: Brad: “… Sit on it?”

little_e-
December 3rd, 2010 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

Dear Marvin’s Dad and Grandpa: Sesame Street has been continuously on the air since the late 60s, and if you get cable, there are at least two channels of 24-hour a programming aimed exclusively at young children. This strip is apparently written by and for people who do not actually have any kids, nor have they turned on a TV in the past decade: Pluggers who never got their converter box and have been watching static for the past year. In fact, that’s precisely what I imagine has happened to Marvin’s family, too.

Black Drazon
December 3rd, 2010 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

“She imbibed too much! She fell off the wagon at the worst possible time! She’s sloshed up! She’s trashed, shit-faced, hammered and half-cocked! She’s right before the wind with all her studding sails out, she’s stole a manchet out of the brewer’s basket! What I’m saying here is that we should reconsider the open bar.”

Sophie
December 3rd, 2010 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

I must say, Mary Worth has been delightfully terrifying these past few days. The color scheme hues appear to come from a coke fueled pile of sick from 2000 rather than the ’90s, figures are animated and move around in ways that belie their true robotic nature, and the artist has decided to render “drunk hair” in a way that realizes hair has strands that move around when the body moves, and composition has, for once, appeared to be considered! I wondered what the hell was going on when I realized the clearly Santa Royale, a community where the style du jour is to sport a plastic helmet that gives the appearance of hair, has been the tragic victim of a nuclear meltdown, as indicated the vibrant mint green glow in the background. Fortunately, if the staid composition and cringe worthy pink curtains of the final panel of today’s comic are any indication, the highly poisonous chemicals that neutralize nuclear infection have been pumped into the building and Jill, a hu-man, won’t last more than a few hours.

This Guy
December 3rd, 2010 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

9CL: Ladies and gentlemen, our strong, liberated heroine! When a friend calls to ask her politely to get her daughter to stop being a skeevy pervert, she SWINGS INTO ACTION and… acts like a skeevy pervert.

Crock: “He didn’t hike on me”? What the hell kind of depraved sexual practice is the cactus talking about?

Doones: Okay, Sam, I’m going to have to ask you never to say that again. Also, I’m still convinced that Zonker is really talking about 4/20 but won’t admit it.

FW: And so Les, the same guy who bitched and moaned that his sad-sack of a book wasn’t getting enough attention, reacts to people who enjoyed his fetid outpourings as though they aren’t good enough to appreciate his writing. This would be a delightful piece of irony if only it were intentional.

PMP: That was Baudelaire, not Lewis.

Pluggers: Do pluggers have retractable genitalia?

WoI: I guess armor that grants temporary hit points isn’t so unusual, but if it was worn by an epic-level paladin, it probably bestows negative levels on anyone who isn’t lawful good and tries to wear it, meaning everyone in this strip is shit outta luck.

ComcisFan
December 3rd, 2010 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

@Bootsy (#163):

Perhaps I should clarify that statement and say people producing shows today for young children wouldn’t get away with what’s going on in Tom & Jerry or Road Runner or Bugs Bunny, i.e., violence, shooting, pummeling, wolf-whstling and drooling at sexy felines or bunnies, even some of the wise-cracking.

The shows on now (Dora, Berenstain Bears, Ni-Hao Kailan, Fireman Sam, Sesame Street, Angelina Ballerina, Dragon Tails, Dinosaur Train, Cat in the Hat), are either educating children about science or math or spelling or safety, or about interpersonal skills like getting along with others, caring about your friends’ feelings, expressing your feelings in a healthy way, being open to other cultures, or about character, such as telling the truth, doing your homework, playing fairly. At minimum, even the shows that don’t do all that are entertaining children in a soft and friendly way, not with violence or sexiness.

As a parent, I appreciate these newer shows greatly. At the same time, I’m willing to let my child watch some of the golden oldies sometimes, albeit not too crazy about Tom’s eye-popping, tongue-flopping, drooling schwingy reactions to curvey cats with long eyelashes.

Austria
December 3rd, 2010 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

Arch: Our top story tonight — Jughead’s hat mysteriously disappears! Meanwhile, it looks like Archie’s going to need a new pair of pants.

Curtis: Daddy? Daddy?! Oh $#!^, that adds a whole other dimension to this strip that I’m not entirely sure I’m comfortable with.
(Yes, I know it’s a pet name. It’s a horrible pet name and should die out sooner rather than later.)

FW: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Please, please tell me someone has added “Smug Snake” to the TVTropes page for this strip…

PBS: I endorse this.

Zits: Also very nice.

Baka Gaijin
December 3rd, 2010 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

@This Guy (#169) on Pluggers: Ewww! Thinking about Plugger genitalia? Ewwwww! Maybe get laid, This Guy, so you won’t think about Plugger genitalia. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Ewww!

Shawn S.
December 3rd, 2010 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

@ComcisFan (#170):

No, they just have more cartoons in general. You named the nice ones…their are plenty of “kids” cartoons that are much worse than the slapstick violence of Looney Tunes.

The real reason kids shouldn’t watch most Looney Tunes is the stereotypes, which by today’s standards are incredibly racist.

But What Do I Know?
December 3rd, 2010 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

The Ghost Who Two-Times — Yo, Diana, sweetheart, any port in a storm, OK? The bad guys are still shooting at you. . .

MT–I think this plot is ripped off from Bells Are Ringing. Kelly Welly must be one hell of an investigative reporter if she hasn’t figured out that SOMEONE WILL TAKE A MESSAGE AT THE DESK!!!!

Rocky Stoneaxe
December 3rd, 2010 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

Dick Tracy — Locher and Brozman update 1950s icon Froggy the Gremlin!

Tom the Dancing Bug — Where’s Aunt May-June-July when you need her?

This Guy
December 3rd, 2010 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#172): Hey, I’m just saying that if you’re going to wear pants like that, you’ll need ‘em. Of course, after a few minutes of wearing said pants, you’ll have ‘em no matter what. (My original joke was going to be “You’re a plugger if your belt chafes your nipples,” but someone already had something similar.)

Mom Jeans
December 3rd, 2010 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

“Who is this monster,” thinks Jeff, “and how can I keep my poor son away from him?”

Good thing Marvin has his defensive weapon, which he references by acronym when he says FWIP three times. His toddler babble is a little confusing though: “I pooped” at the end is clear, but why does he address the distant Funky Winkerbean?

Pseudo3D
December 3rd, 2010 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#149): You could try the Funky Winkerbean email form, but I think Batiuk gets hate mail on a regular basis.

Is it wrong that I imagine that Batiuk in real life looks exactly like Les?

@UncleJeff (#155): Do they even HAVE bisexual strip clubs in real life? Wait, no: don’t answer that.

Sequitur
December 3rd, 2010 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

@Mom Jeans (#177):
“I pooped” at the end

Best place for it, what?

Walker of Dog
December 3rd, 2010 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

@Cloudbuster (#151): Doc is still working on a cure for Rusty.

@Sophie (#168): Interesting that stray strands of hair as rendered in Judge Parker indicate smouldering sexiness, but in Mary Worth are evidence of Foster Brooks levels of inebriation.

@This Guy (#169): Re: Plugger genitalia – Eww. I think mine just retracted.
Wait – - Dammit! Another Plugger-point for me.

Violet
December 3rd, 2010 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

Mary’s doing a fairly good job keeping it together, but you know her internal monologue is peppered liberally with the phrase “fuckin’ skank.”

Poteet
December 3rd, 2010 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

MT — I’m becoming mildly desperate to find out more about Kelly Welly and why she does what she does, so I tried looking up MT in Wikipedia. But the second sentence in the Wiki article made me laugh so hard that I had to give up. “Introduced April 15, 1946, the strip centers on environmental and ecological themes.” Hahahahahahaha!

Alison
December 3rd, 2010 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

As soon as I read today’s “Mark Trail” I got the “Three’s Company” theme song in my head. But you, Mark Trail, are no Jack Tripper.

As for Roy and Jeff bitching about there being nothing on TV for Marvin to watch-there are channels that cater specifically to children and just run puppet shows and educational cartoons all day long. I don’t even have kids and I know that. Problem is, ya gotta pay extra for them and I guess Marvin’s family doesn’t have any extra money, since they spend it all on an endless supply of diapers for Marvin to poop in fifty times a day.

Lawyerbob
December 3rd, 2010 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

@Johnny Knuckles (#68): Or rather, she’s reading the entrails of her own sputem to tell Adrian her fortune. “I see, I see, what’s this? A young, dead doctor? And his young widow with the hideous bowl cut running for comfort to the arms of her willowy, blonde, falling-down-drunk ex-lover?”

terrapin
December 3rd, 2010 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

FW-Les, in the future when some poor soul with horrible taste in literature says they like your book say “thank you” and nothing but “thank you”! Anything else you say will be used against you in the Court of People Who Desperately Want to Give You the Wedgie You so Richly Deserve!

ComcisFan
December 3rd, 2010 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

@Shawn S. (#173):

That, too.

gnome de blog
December 3rd, 2010 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

@un malpaso (#156) said:
It’s a shame, however, that Jack Elrod can’t distinguish female individuals except by the shape of their jet-black hair and the existence/absence of a turtleneck on their pink shirts.

And the lack of facial hair on the bad girls. Not that Mark would ever punch a girl anyway…

Uncle Lumpy
December 3rd, 2010 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

@gnome de blog (#187):

Not that Mark would ever punch a girl anyway…

True only in a technical sense.

Sheila Sternwell
December 3rd, 2010 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

I’m not sure why Marvin and Marvin’s dad (Jeff, Marvin’s dad’s name is Jeff, another thing I’m embarrassed to know) have such looks of numb horror in panel three.

Prolly ’cause they saw “The Maltese Bippy,” which will put even the most hardened soul off bippies forever.

@ComcisFan (#170): Part of the difference is that, today, cartoons are made for a wide range of ages. Looney Tunes and Tom & Jerry (and others) were made as opening shorts for feature films, with an intended older audience than today’s toons like Dora. Somewhere in the 1980s, people realized there was an age appropriateness gap in toons… but that was too late for me! I was raised on Daffy-commits-suicide era of Looney Tunes, and I turned out fine. Just ask the guys chained in my basement, they’ll vouch for me.

KarMann
December 3rd, 2010 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

@Rimpy (#33): MT: I’m too lazy to try to find it in the archives, but didn’t Cherry once fondle a phone cord erotically just like Kelly Welly is doing? I think the artist just swapped the already-nearly-indistinguishable heads of the women (or more probably – their hairdos).
I, on the other hand, am not so lazy, and possibly mildly OCD to boot. So I found it first in the Comics Kingdom archives, and then in Josh’s:

Of course, it’s possible that I’m wildly misreading all of this, and, as Cherry languorously plays with the phone cord in panel one, she’s actually initiating a little erotic phone talk.

And, here’s the side-by-side comparison I put together.

demoncat
December 3rd, 2010 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

scott is proably out mingling with the other guests trying to do damage control while Adrien tries to get Jill sobered up and Mary stares and plots her evil revenge on Adrien for dare making a fool of herself and screwing with Mary’s plans of Scot and Adrien having to be married .

Sgt. Stoned
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

Is that Dr. Jeff’s mother with him?

Comicmama
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

RM -I’m not sure which skeeves me out more: that strangers can “friend” the mayor’s prostrate or that the mayor’s daughter set it up so that strangers can “friend” the mayor’s prostate.

Great American Satan
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

Um…. Zoo Doo is REAL.

Rimpy
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

@KarMann (#190): Nice work. I hadn’t realized it was as recently as February. I get confused sometimes from having read Josh’s entire archives in a short amount of time while concurrently reading the…uh…current story lines, so things that seem like they just happened are in fact years old, while recent events seem like old times. Or maybe it’s just creeping senility. I must say, the MT art work, such as it is, has declined markedly in a short time. The previously lovingly-rendered (and lovingly-fondled) phone cord has devolved into a sketchy zigzag line.

KarMann, what is your connection with Bats:[, by the way?

Rimpy
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

@Rimpy (#195):

Oops, senility strikes again! I saw bats:[’s comment below your side-by-side and thought it was one of hers. Sorry.

Curm
December 4th, 2010 at 9:58 am [Reply]

Re: MW 12/03
Adrian looks like the Queen of Spades in this cheap-ass deck of cards I have.

Jym Dyer
December 5th, 2010 at 3:15 am [Reply]

=v= Marvin: Since “bippy” replaces the word “ass,” it did scandalize some people back in the day, though of course that’s not the same as being edgy. There were also confused people who thought it was a sneaky way to promote hippies (or possibly yippies), and were thereby appalled.

Red
December 5th, 2010 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

It was really nice of Christopher Walken to guest-star as the mayor in Rex Morgan this week. Pretty lame henna rinse, though.

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