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Showing posts with label horror. Show all posts
Showing posts with label horror. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Rapper’s delight abject horror

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"Wouldn't layoffs in Milford be charmingly and anachronistically referred to as laydowns?" --Dood

Main navigation: Advertise Discussion Forum About Twitter RSS Feed Search: Main content: « He cast aside his straw boater — and his moral compass Metapost: Memorial Day Weekend comments of the week » Rapper’s delight abject horror

Luann, 5/27/11

Ha ha, can you imagine an “urgent, passionate” “rap” set to Luann’s poem of self-loathing, “I’m A Snot”? You don’t have to, because you can go to the URL in the third panel and listen to it yourself, in all its glory! But don’t feel obliged to do so. I think we all remember the “Hey Boy” debacle of 2010. Maybe it’s better to hear the passionate, urgent rapping, in your mind. Maybe if you heard it in your actual earhole, it would be so passionate and so urgent that your passionate urges would get the better of you and then who knows what would happen next? Probably some pulsating of some sort, that’s what! So, in conclusion, barf.

Crankshaft, 5/27/11

What must it be like, being a prisoner of the Funkiverse, where every depressing, emotionally loaded conversation (and lord knows there are plenty of those) must be accompanied by smirking? And, in Crankshaft, puns? I think Jeff in today’s strip made some kind of bargain with his cruel God: “Look, I’m trying to share some really heavy stuff with my wife here, OK? I’ll smirk, or I’ll pun, but please don’t make me do both. Let me keep a shred of dignity!

This entry was posted on Friday, May 27, 2011 at 08:21 am and is filed under Crankshaft, Luann. | 105 responses to “Rapper’s delight abject horror” Kardu
May 27th, 2011 at 8:26 am [Reply]

Of course, the link in Luann has a typo. Guess they really don’t want anyone to have to listen to it.

nescio
May 27th, 2011 at 8:27 am [Reply]

Well Jeff’s wife is Crankshaft’s daughter, and he is a horrible, miserable, bastard all of the time. At least Rose would act nice to strangers.

Captain Plaid Pants
May 27th, 2011 at 8:28 am [Reply]

FW: Is everything all right? No! Your heads are freakin’ glowing! I know you always think you have a halo, but this isn’t normal, Les.

Rocky Stoneaxe
May 27th, 2011 at 8:33 am [Reply]

Tom the Dancing Bug…

Navy SEAL Team Six faces the most dangerous foe of all:

http://www.gocomics.com/tomthedancingbug

The story behind today’s comic:

http://legallyeasy.rocketlawyer.com/trademark-dispute-disney-vs-navy-seals-92001

Mark B
May 27th, 2011 at 8:33 am [Reply]

What the hell is the carooniststudio? Is Quill a ‘carooner’? I thought he fancied himself a rapper. An Aussie rapper? Eh, … no. i liked Midnight Oil, so they can do new wave/punk … but rap? I haven’t seen it yet.

Mark B
May 27th, 2011 at 8:35 am [Reply]

Damn. DNS error on carooniststudio.com. So it’s just a careless typo. Time to buy up the domain name and put up a spoof site, just to grief Greg Evans.

Chyron HR
May 27th, 2011 at 8:35 am [Reply]

1) It’s called “Carooning”.
2) She sees her frenz.
3) I don’t know what I liked more–the 8-minute drum solo or the 12-minute bass solo.
4) “Pulsating, wild… um… uninhibited? Are you buying any of this?”

Rocky Stoneaxe
May 27th, 2011 at 8:35 am [Reply]

5-27 Weird Sound Effects:

Lio — CLUNK
Zits — WHUMP
B.C. — RRRRRR
Baldo — RIING!!
Monty — SPLISH SPLASH
Mutts/Garfield — BONK!
Sherman’s Lagoon — POW!
Todd the Dinosaur — POOF!
Pluggers — SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK

Drabble —

http://comics.com/drabble/

Broom Hilda —

http://www.jsonline.com/comics/32402404.html?feature_id=Broom_Hilda

Scott Bot
May 27th, 2011 at 8:36 am [Reply]

Cranky – Of course, Jeff, Rose would be like that. Phone sex operators are trained to be sweet to their clients, no matter what the situation.

Viceroy Matt
May 27th, 2011 at 8:37 am [Reply]

I’ve been wanting to ask somebody this for a while. Here and now seems good.

Why does Luann disallow comments?

cheech wizard
May 27th, 2011 at 8:38 am [Reply]

It’s too bad Greg Evans didn’t bring in a kid from a France or one of the sexually liberated Scandinavian countries to be LuAnn’s exchange student crush. Because “Screw that, let’s fuck” would have been a much better response in panel three.

The Grandstander
May 27th, 2011 at 8:38 am [Reply]

FW: Only in this strip can a sexual encounter turn into something depressing.

MW: Will Jeff ever realize that Drew is NOT talking about a patient? Probably not.

MT: Today Elrod shows us the only “beaver shot” that Mark knows anything about.

Blondie: Dagwood screws up another “account.” How has he kept his job for 80 years?

Scott Bot
May 27th, 2011 at 8:39 am [Reply]

FW – If Cayla tells Les off, I will take back every bad thing I’ve ever said about this strip…

…well, not really, the thing still sucks rocks, but it would still be pretty cool if she yelled at him.

Mark B
May 27th, 2011 at 8:41 am [Reply]

@cheech wizard (#11): Or at least let Quill smash a can of beer on his forehead. They are not really working the Aussie angle nearly enough. Make him wear a hat with crocodile teeth on the band or something.

S. Stout
May 27th, 2011 at 8:43 am [Reply]

Every time I hear Luann sing I die a little inside.

Jocelyn Knockersbury
May 27th, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]

You don’t have to, because you can go to the URL in the third panel and listen to it yourself, in all its glory!

Oh fuck no.

And Viceroy Matt, my guess is comments were turned off because of comments like the one I just made. I guess when they allowed Brooke to turn off voting and comments, all the other artists got the option as well. I dunno, I’m makin’ shit up at this point.

Mark B
May 27th, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]

MW: Clearly, Drew’s pimp hand is weak.

Jocelyn Knockersbury
May 27th, 2011 at 8:46 am [Reply]

FW: Oh god Cayla, please run, just take this chance to run the hell off, then cry and be sad for a few days until you realize that this is the luckiest break you have ever been given.

Effluvius Erratus
May 27th, 2011 at 8:48 am [Reply]

Comics Code Key for Today

A3G: “gypsy” = sexually voracious/insatiable

FC: “peanut brittle” = rat poison, not that Jeffy knows it

FW: “is everything all right” = I’m such a tool

H&J: “glasses” = IUD

JP: “connect” = do our freakin’ jobs before that asshole gets someone killed

cheech wizard
May 27th, 2011 at 8:51 am [Reply]

@Mark B (#14): Or make Luann wait outside the bar while he goes in and has a beer. Although being high schoolers, that might not work.

bourbon babe, unbuckled
May 27th, 2011 at 8:54 am [Reply]

MT: “Everyone in town” except the beavers—until now.

FC: You know what would be great? If Jeffy/Billy later climbed up the shelf to snag some peanut brittle, only to discover that the can actually contains Dead Grampa’s cremains! So that won’t happen.

MW: I kind of like imagining that the characters actually dance around each other, just as they’re drawn. So picture Dr. Jeff circling Dr. Drew, pausing occasionally in his bizarre movements to spout some Doctorin’ stuff. It’s fun!

A3G: So is Aunt Iris leaving? Why not just say that? Why all the secrecy? Do the writers believe that Aunt Iris’s departure is so momentous as to be suspense-worthy? Actually, I’ll take that possibility over the possibility that I just don’t understand what the hell is going on here.

JP: Yeah, keep calling, Sam—because nothing calms a suicidal person like the sound of a ringing cell phone.

Mark B
May 27th, 2011 at 8:54 am [Reply]

FW: Not only is the writing horrible, but WTF is the deal with the halos around the heads of the characters. I think he decided that they didn’t stand out enough against the black background, but frankly, this just looks terrible. It’s just fucking lazy. If you can’t draw your characters against a black background, pick a different background. Or quit the comics business. This contrived halo bullshit is just not the way forward. There is nothing about this comic that does not piss me off.

Patrick
May 27th, 2011 at 8:55 am [Reply]

You gotta love that cool, hip, 1920’s-era microphone he’s attached to his laptop.

R in CT
May 27th, 2011 at 8:55 am [Reply]

I’m sure this has been said before, but maybe Luann doesn’t know how bad she is because she can’t hear herself sing as she has no actual earholes in her head, which you can clearly (not) see in panel 2.

bourbon babe, unbuckled
May 27th, 2011 at 8:57 am [Reply]

@Poteet (#y261): Repeatedly falling, slicing one’s leg open on a sharp rock, and picking at bloody scabs are like eating cupcakes and drinking champagne compared to the experience of reading Reply All.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
May 27th, 2011 at 8:57 am [Reply]

IP: I did not see that one coming. well done, well done, sir!

Lio: heeee!

Bizarro: Mr. Peanut dreams of LoFo.

JUMBLE: the one that we saw being made in the video.

Mutts vs GWS: both go out with a bang. I declare Friday a draw, but Mutts was the overall winner.

RwO: “Teen Graphic Novels and Comics” is what our local branch calls their three racks of manga and comics. :-D

Tank: Laker hate, taken Over The Line. booooooo! hisssssssss!

Scott Bot
May 27th, 2011 at 9:01 am [Reply]

Luann – Apparently Quill has borrowed some equipment from his part-time job as an air traffic controller in a 1940’s war movie.

MT – They better get going and wrap up this plot before those giant beavers drop a couple trees down on Lilliput there.

Pluggers – never get it right. The squeaking sound comes from the shoes, it’s the grinding noise that comes from the knee.

OKStan
May 27th, 2011 at 9:06 am [Reply]

Luann – So they need an “urgent and passionate” backbeat that’s “pulsating and wild, and, um…uninhibited…” about being a snot. In other words, something with which you can get your freak-on with an immature brat? We’re entering so REAL dark territory here.
On the other hand, I originally misread the title as “I’m Snot”, so combine that with the “urgent and passionate” backbeat made me think of some freaky fetishes that’s best not to be explored.
Just SQUICK the whole way around.

pugfuggly
May 27th, 2011 at 9:09 am [Reply]

” Oh, it’s……wild….pulsating…..uninhibited….throbbing…..swelling…. irrepressible…..crescendoing…….CLIMAXIIIIIIIIING…….oh damn it, I got my thesaurus all messy”

black butterfly
May 27th, 2011 at 9:15 am [Reply]

@Viceroy Matt (#10): Insider information – they were not closed by Evans’ demand. There was a massive number of comments each day – sometimes up to 50+ – and they attracted a number of trolls, who were insulting the regular posters, threatening them, etc, etc, they got banned and got new accounts each time, that went in for a year or so, and finally either the site or the syndicate decided to close them down. That was not handled well, since there is no real moderator at comics.com. Maybe the upcoming merge will handle this problem. I know that doesn’t sound very convincing, but the situation got really, really bad in the end. I assume the cyberbullies were not drawn to the comic itself, but to the large number of comments, hence, a lot of victims.

pugfuggly
May 27th, 2011 at 9:15 am [Reply]

@Effluvius Erratus (#19):

A3G: “gypsy” = sexually voracious/insatiable

Or maybe she just means that when she’s not making friends with hobotramps, she spends her days with a pair of sarcastic robots.

pugfuggly
May 27th, 2011 at 9:18 am [Reply]

MT: Shown in the foreground, panel 2: the dining hall.

Oregonian
May 27th, 2011 at 9:25 am [Reply]

“I have a rap. It has a real urgent, passionate beat. Pulsating… Wild… Uninhibited… It’s the kind of music that makes you want to put on a pair of assless chaps and play ‘Dodge the Raptor’ with the Python. I call it ‘You’re a snot but you’re not as annoying as Crankshaft.’ Catchy, eh?”

black butterfly
May 27th, 2011 at 9:26 am [Reply]

@black butterfly (#30): “Insider” isn’t supposed to mean anything too serious, more like “someone who followed the situation and from time to time was a part of it”.

teenchy
May 27th, 2011 at 9:31 am [Reply]

@Mark B (#22): Those aren’t halos; they’re glowing from radiation. Remember, Westview is a cancer cluster. Lisa put her disease in Les and now he’s put it in Cayla.

‘Course maybe they could be halos, in that Batiuk thinks Les is a saint for, well, being Les and Cayla’s a saint for accommodating his Lesness… nah, they’ve got the cancer.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
May 27th, 2011 at 9:35 am [Reply]

here, have a basset hound.

bathtime corgi pup.

not a lot of worthy lol-snark or squee today. *sad face*

[Old Man] Muffaroo
May 27th, 2011 at 9:36 am [Reply]

Hägar – Helga should put all the jobs she wants Hägar to do in a little keg and call it the Job Keg. Or funnier yet, the Jøb Këg! And Hägar will replace them all with “play golf” and “drink martinis with little horned hats in them.” Because he doesn’t want to have to go out and mow the lawn with the Goatasaurus.

(Or maybe he just uses a rock. I’m beginning to suspect that’s not really a hat, and Hägar’s a bull plugger.)

Hi – Be careful about complaining in front of the little telescreen, Chip! Little Sister is Watching You!

Chip Whittle
May 27th, 2011 at 9:37 am [Reply]

Apartment 3-G: While I’m sorry to see Aunt Iris apparently leaving the strip, I am looking forward to a distressed Tommie trying to stow away curled up in her suitcase.

Arctic Circle: Um…this is about one penguin trying to murder the other, right? I thought they were friends?

Deflocked: OK, honest question here: Are we supposed to like any of the characters, and if so, why? The artist is trying so hard for comedic conflict he’s forgot to include the part where it’s between people who have any reason interacting with anybody.

Funky Winkerbean: “Is everything all right?” “Not really.” “I’m sorry. Would you feel better if we talked about Lisa?”

Gasoline Alley: No, Slim’s not trying to leave his grandkid unsupervised in a garage, he’s just trying to cover up how he accidentally ate the telephone.

Gil Thorp: “After 24 years teaching 2nd grade, I’ll be the last one left in the building! I’m the only teacher they’ve ever found who can answer little Billy Keane’s question about whether I’m gonna be promoted to the third grade every single year without going homicidal!”

Grin and Bear It: “The designer of this model preferred to remain anonymous, unlike household names like the guy who designed the Honda Civic or the Mercury Sable.”

[Old Man] Muffaroo
May 27th, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]

Hi – Be careful about complaining in front of the little telescreen, Chip! Little Sister is Watching You!Mark – Encyclopedia Brown would make short work of that inadvertent slip, especially if it had been accompanied by, say, an apparently insignificant physics error. (“Encyclopedia Brown knew that the old story of Mercury always keeping the same side toward the sun was false, and therefore Bugs Meany must have killed JFK!”)

Wikipedia Brown, on the other hand, would fearlessly accuse the malefactor, but the crook’s friends would have accounts, and they’d edit the accusation so that Wikipedia Brown was confessing to the crime himself. Thesaurus Brown would repeat what he’d been told, using a list of different words that mean the same thing. Dictionary Brown would get hung up on the precise meaning of “is.” Atlas Brown would… hmmm, as Familiar Quotations Brown would say, “but I digress. — Tom Lehrer.”

Mary – “As a doctor… I try to put myself in the patient’s shoes.”
“Well, Dad, I put myself in her pants, and now she won’t quit bugging me.”

Jim C
May 27th, 2011 at 9:39 am [Reply]

So, I’m listening to “I’m A Snot” … and it sounds like Sleater-Kinney reunited at gun-point.

[Old Man] Muffaroo
May 27th, 2011 at 9:39 am [Reply]

Rhymes – The graphic novels at the library are a great way to catch up on stuff that was too expensive to buy and too long to read at the bookstore. Having them read on CD would be the next logical step. Perhaps read by a Fiorello LaGuardia impersonator!

Snuffy – Wasn’t “Meatball” the long-lost Smiff kid?

Speed – Looks like another case for Principia Mathematica Brown!

Rocky Stoneaxe
May 27th, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]

@black butterfly (#30): Thanks for the info… wonder if that’s what happened with Brooke’s Pibgorn strip?

[Old Man] Muffaroo
May 27th, 2011 at 9:41 am [Reply]

Spider-Man – “Say, this reminds me of the time I was too late to save Gwen. Can’t win ‘em all! I think I’ll go down to Best Buy and stand in front of their wall of TV sets for a while.”

Tom D. Bug – The Seal Team Six® will never be free, because Disneycorp will make sure that anything that’s in copyright now will never ever enter the public domain! Bwa ha… I mean… bwee hee hee!

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#26): IP? Iron Pants? Ipsy Poodle? Ipso Phacto? Inanity Parade? Inka Pinkadoo? Inside Paddleball? Infinite Pandas?

Gloom Raider
May 27th, 2011 at 9:43 am [Reply]

I’m really hoping the next Mary Worth shows Dr. Drew telling Liza, “Look, you’re gonna have to face it–YOU’RE ADDICTED TO LOVE!” Then four identically-dressed Marys appear behind him, and… I assume that for all sorts of reasons, that would be the end of the strip.

Esther Blodgett
May 27th, 2011 at 9:45 am [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#36): Yayz! Basset hound!

curlyfries
May 27th, 2011 at 9:46 am [Reply]

@Viceroy Matt (#10): @black butterfly (#30): The troll did cross the line in terms of threats and homophobic remarks, but what really did it was this: the site has a three flags system that allows anyone with more than one account to remove another poster’s comments. After months of people complaining about being deleted for no cause while the troll was allowed free-range abilities, admin just threw up their hands and tanked the whole thing since they couldn’t get in front of it, and were incapable of blocking or banning suspect IPs. The troll is still trying to disrupt over at Greg Evan’s “Luannalyzer’s” forum, but since there’s a moderator and the site’s instituted a blocking feature a lot of people can just tune him out, so his whiny-ass protests to admin about “defining rules” and “censorship” are pretty feeble. Since GoComics isn’t moderated, I hope they’re more on the ball about multiple accounts than comics.com was.

Esther Blodgett
May 27th, 2011 at 9:46 am [Reply]

DT: If Hot Rize gets out of the hopper alive, are Dick and Sam going to fight over who gets to de-flour her?

Rocky Stoneaxe
May 27th, 2011 at 9:48 am [Reply]

@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#41):

Snuffy – Wasn’t “Meatball” the long-lost Smiff kid?

Sluggo Smith (from Nancy) is the long-lost “Smiff” kid. He and Jughaid have the same bald pate… and both live in shacks!

Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
May 27th, 2011 at 9:52 am [Reply]

Crank: It was mostly because you wouldn’t take off those God Damned Mickey Mouse ears, Jeff. Beyond that, if you were MY kid, I’d do a lot of screaming too.

Luann: I think my eyes are going to bleed…

FC: Next he’ll reveal to Jeffy where the Keane Family Anal Shocker is kept. We can only hope.

Funk the Stupid Bean: Dump his lousy ass. Right now. JUST DO IT, Cayla. Once you’re away from Les and outside his Gloomesphere, you’ll be much much happier.

RMMD: Blinks Security! For all your lottery-ticket transporting needs!

Pozzo
May 27th, 2011 at 9:53 am [Reply]

I think punk would be the most appropriate genre for a song called “I’m a Snot,” but at least we can be thankful she didn’t opt for flannel-and-jeans folk music.

Shadrach
May 27th, 2011 at 9:56 am [Reply]

@Jim C (#40): Please, never mention Sleater-Kinney and any “music’ by Greg Evans in the same sentence again.

Quinn
May 27th, 2011 at 9:56 am [Reply]

Luann: I like to think that this strip is currently happening in real time, and that between scenes Luann and Mr. Spikey-hair are having wild, Viagra fueled animal sex for 23 straight hours before getting back to their “art.” But that’s just me.

Darryl Heine
May 27th, 2011 at 9:58 am [Reply]

Not mentioned: For Blondie May 27, 2011: Is it true Mr. Dithers’ Facebook account has the option to DEFRIEND DAGWOOD BUMSTEAD thanks to a $500 loss of a bad contract?

For Mutts May 27, 2011: Nice Peanuts parody.

Esther Blodgett
May 27th, 2011 at 9:58 am [Reply]

Beetle: That’s right, Otto. If that thing looks like a poodle to you, you need glasses.

MT: “Uh…it was those damn gossipy beavers, Sheriff McDad. They told me all about it.”

FW: Batiuk would have us believe that dead spouses make phone calls, cheerleaders moonlight as AV geeks, and Montoni’s pizza is edible, yet neither one of these two can say “Sorry, did I say the wrong thing just then?” and start an adult conversation. I’d like to see Bull beat the crap out of both of them, except of course he never really was a violent person, was he?

S-M: It’s never too late for a martini! Wait, that says “Martine.” In that case, yeah, you totally let her fall to her death. Way to go, Spidey.

Cyn
May 27th, 2011 at 9:58 am [Reply]

You know, the only reason I follow FW is because of Josh, and then these absolutely hilarious (and on point) comments. I’m ancient enough to remember the original recipe FW. I was in high school at the time, and honestly? FW in its first incarnation really was a pretty funny commentary upon archetypes of high school students, teachers, and humor in those situations.

My local paper dropped FW quite a while ago, so I hadn’t been paying attention to the reboot until I started following Comics Curmudgeon. I’m STILL confused about the timeline. And now? Good Goddess. I would love to throttle Les (no no NO not in a sexual way)! He is still an archetype…to those who like whiny, self-involved, completely nerdy guys. How and in what alternative universe is Les deemed attractive to two seemingly normal women? What do those halos signify? Is The Saintly Spirit of Lisa going to, literally, appear between Les and poor Cayla? Why do I care?

(Rant over, and back to the fantastic nuttiness of the Judge Parker world! Too bad Suicidal Woman’s predicament interrupted Sam and Angel’s jazz man-date. I was looking forward to more innuendo and in particular, Sam’s general absorption in All That Is the Perfect Sam.)

ArchieNemesis
May 27th, 2011 at 10:02 am [Reply]

Attention Les Moore! We have located your missing penis. Please contact Dick Tracy for its immediate return.

Chip Whittle
May 27th, 2011 at 10:04 am [Reply]

Mandrake: “Red Dekker never gives up! He means to make sure I never testify against him! That’s why he’s been trying halfheartedly to kill me with an exploding car, sniper, poison, airplane, and alligator, like mentioned yesterday, until I could be hidden tight inside an outlandishly defended mountaintop fortress surrounded by people waiting for his attack! He’s kind of an idiot that way!”

Mark Trail: “Everyone in town probably knows about it by now! Especially since town is an adorable little collection of seven old tea and cereal boxes painted up to look like a city by the beaver children for a school project!”

I wonder what it’s like being a telephoto lens salesman in the Mark Trail universe.

The Phantom: Dumb Crook has a point. It’s one thing to digitally embezzle millions of dollars, but it’s totally different to fib about your networking status.

Rex Morgan: “No, I have to get back to the office.” There. That’s the line on which the district attorney will break Morgan’s alibi when he’s tried for arranging the murder of Berna at the hands of the “security guards”.

I’m oddly enchanted that he and Berna kiss like dolphins, though.

Spider-Man: Oh, no. Martine is dead. This could put her out of action for minutes. I’m torn up with suspense.

One-Eyed Wolfdog
May 27th, 2011 at 10:04 am [Reply]

Wow, Greg Evans’ page has a picture labeled, “from whence genius spurteth”.

tb4000
May 27th, 2011 at 10:09 am [Reply]

@One-Eyed Wolfdog (#58): I think the third word in that quote is a massive typo.

One-Eyed Wolfdog
May 27th, 2011 at 10:12 am [Reply]

All Evans has to do to get more internet love and exposure than he’s ever dreamed of is release the a capella track and tell people to go nuts with the remixes.

Scott Bot
May 27th, 2011 at 10:13 am [Reply]

RMMD – Apparently Berna is being escorted downtown by Matthew McConaughey, reprising his role as Wooderson from Dazed and Confused.

‘That’s what I like about those lottery winners, man. They get older, I stay the same age.’

cheech wizard
May 27th, 2011 at 10:13 am [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#42): My understanding is that Brooke doesn’t want his work to be influenced by readers’ feedback and is probably a bit thin-skinned besides. I don’t think he had a major problem with trolls; if anything, the Pib posters were falling all over each other in their efforts to fellate him. So if he had a problem with that, I’d give him some credit.

One-Eyed Wolfdog
May 27th, 2011 at 10:14 am [Reply]

Interesting concept of “rap” he has, too.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
May 27th, 2011 at 10:15 am [Reply]

@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#43): Ink Pen. available on Yahoo.

Effluvius Erratus
May 27th, 2011 at 10:17 am [Reply]

@pugfuggly (#31): If only there were a trio of robots and a human* at the bottom-right of each panel, mocking the strip in “real-time”! Alas, we must make do with post hoc Curmudgeonly commentary…

*Then again…Tommie and Lu Ann might as well be robots—Tommie’s the one without an emotion chip; Lu Ann’s the one with 50K memory…

commodorejohn
May 27th, 2011 at 10:17 am [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#4): And this is why I love Ruben Bolling.

A3G – “Not everyone approves of my Gypsy lifestyle. Which is why I’ve taken great pains to eradicate any trace of Romani appearance. I mean, could you tell I’m not just another Apartment 3-G bland white person? Wacky glasses aside?”

BB – Today, on “Things Found in Dr. Seuss’s Trash…”

Crankshaft – I can’t wait for the day when Tom Batiuk is committed. Seriously, that’s got to be happening soon, right? There’s no way you can’t look at this and go, “Christ, see a therapist already!”

Curtis – So if you were ever wondering whether there would come a day when Curtis didn’t have the most out-of-it rap joke in the funny pages, well, here you go.

DT – Well it’s good to know that the new Tracy team doesn’t shy away from contrived, fetishistic death scenes! Man, Yahoo! Groups must be going wild.

Dilbert – Yeah, ten bucks says this is one of those ones Adams based on an actual trend or incident.

FW – Both of you die now.

GT – “After 24 years teaching second grade, I’ll be the last one left in the building! I’m going to chain myself to the radiator and the pigs will have to come in and remove me by force! That’ll show ‘em! Could you be a dear and write a protest song for accompaniment?”

JP – “A story of life on the tuffet?” God, I love you, Woody Wilson.

Luann – Thankfully, I’m at work now, but I have a terrible, terrible feeling that I’m going to be unable to prevent myself from listening to this later today…in any case, barf and retch.

MT – “Any news on that crime you don’t know I committed? I, uh, heard about it from a guy. I DIDN’T DO IT! DON’T THINK I DID!”

Phantom – Guys, tip for next time: don’t forcibly kidnap someone who’s many times smarter than you.

SF – Oh, it’s Haiti! okay that was a little tasteless.

SM – “Well, chalk up another girl to mid-air rescue failure! Don’t worry, Gwen, you’re not alone!”

Ziggy – …if only this didn’t seem so reasonable by comparison…

commodorejohn
May 27th, 2011 at 10:20 am [Reply]

@pugfuggly (#31): Oh man, now I’m going to hear all of Iris’s dialogue in Jim Mallon’s ridiculous falsetto. Thank you!

Jessy
May 27th, 2011 at 10:21 am [Reply]

@Captain Plaid Pants (#3): Haha! COTW, in my book.

Sequitur
May 27th, 2011 at 10:22 am [Reply]

Why Batiuk used halos.

Doctor Handsome
May 27th, 2011 at 10:27 am [Reply]

Uh, you know that “a rap” means lyrics, right? You’re going to set Luann’s lyrics to lyrics? If you’re going to drop a veiny, tumescent beat, just say you’re dropping a beat. I know these kids are impossibly white, but Jesus Christ.

Alan's Addiction
May 27th, 2011 at 10:28 am [Reply]

Call me old-fashioned, but I think that the words “passionate and urgent” don’t even belong in the same comic strip as the word “snot,” let alone the same paragraph. Of course, the characters in “Luann” have a seriously twisted view of romance (remember Gunther’s pig head?), so they don’t have the same objections.
Speaking of dark, twisted perversions, I’m glad to get more insight into the Funkiverse in today’s strip. This is a place where cancers with high survival rates are invariably all fatal, and nothing’s funnier than some light child abuse. Also, this strip introduces an interesting new plot device to the world. We’re all familiar with the “deus ex machina,” in which an improbable solution or escape is presented suddenly by previously unknown forces or characters. In today’s “Funky Winkerbean,” we see a sort of reverse case of that in which, if the Funkiverse is getting too happy and light-hearted, an improbable back story of personal horror is introduced. Tune in next week, kids, as we find out that Les was somehow sent to Vietnam, where he was forced to kill his own best friend. Actually, that wouldn’t be the most improbable and depressing thing that’s happened in this strip.

Old School Allie Cat
May 27th, 2011 at 10:28 am [Reply]

FW – “It’s… your aura. It’s freaking me out. Oh, also, you’re a selfish, narcissistic, sexually inept commitiment-phobe with dumb facial hair, a socially awkward daughter, a propensity to talk to dead people, and honestly, I just want to slap that smirk right off your weasel face. But you know, other than that we’re cool.”

Luann – Gregg Evans thinks it’s funny but it’s snot.

The Ballad of Al-Jo – Don’t listen to you old lady, A-J, she’s one of those Fat-Cat Second Grade Teachers. I bet she’s high from huffing freshly mimeographed lunch menus. Ahhh, Fish Stick Fridays!

Anansi
May 27th, 2011 at 10:28 am [Reply]

Weird. The instant I started playing “I’m a Snot” on YouTube, I felt an earthquake. This is probably because of the New Madrid Fault Line. Either that or Tupac and Notorious B.I.G. are furiously flipping in their graves.

TheDiva
May 27th, 2011 at 10:32 am [Reply]

Luann: Oh God, why did I look? WHY DID I LOOK?!? I KNEW no good would come of it, and yet I went and opened that link like a cyberspace Pandora. Now I can never escape the horror unleashed upon my brain. *sob*

DT: Buried alive in flour–it’s not quite as flashy as the silo exploding, but it’ll do.

FW: Christ, what a stupid asshole.

Something that’s been bugging me all week–Les and Cayla have been dating for what, two or three years now? And this is the first time either of them brought up the subject of love? Does anyone ever date someone that long without saying “I love you”–even if it’s not entirely true? I understand and appreciate the value of “taking things slow,” but there’s a world of difference between slow and stagnant. If it’s taken Les and Cayla this long to sit down and examine their feelings, then it seems like the relationship has been in deep trouble for a long time–but we knew that already.

MT: Well, no wonder. You’re shouting about it so loud, even the beavers have heard the news.

MW: Oh, I can’t wait to see Drew attempt to apply this device. “Liza, I have bad news. Your tests came back positive for erotomania….”

SM: So Martine died because…she fell on a wooden crate, apparently, which didn’t even break on impact so it’s not like an improvised stake could have pierced her heart. Unless splinters count, which would pretty much cement Martine’s place as the lamest vampire ever (yes, even worse than those Twilight losers or the vampire on Buffy that was killed with a number 2 pencil.).

commodorejohn
May 27th, 2011 at 10:33 am [Reply]

@Old School Allie Cat (#72): I nominate your FW comment for COTW. In fact, I quadruple-nominate it.

Gene S.
May 27th, 2011 at 10:34 am [Reply]

Luann: “I’m a snot” is so bad it’s good. Not bad/good like that “Friday” song, but bad/good like someone could sing it at Karaoke. It’s not quite bad/good enough for regular bar karaoke, but it is bad/good enough for drag queen/female impersonator karaoke. The kind that’s so gay your ass hurts hearing it.

Tim
May 27th, 2011 at 10:36 am [Reply]

A3G – “Not everyone approves of my Gypsy lifestyle. But I’ve met this lovely man named Richard Basehart…”

[Old Man] Muffaroo
May 27th, 2011 at 10:37 am [Reply]

@Esther Blodgett (#54): If that thing looks like a poodle to you, you need glasses.
It’s a poodle designed by a committee, based on another committee’s report on what a poodle looks like.

@ArchieNemesis (#56): Attention Les Moore! We have located your missing penis. Please contact Dick Tracy for its immediate return.
Dick… Trace-y… it all makes sense now.

But What Do I Know?
May 27th, 2011 at 10:46 am [Reply]

@Esther Blodgett (#47): And they won’t need to wait for her to go to the ladies’ room to powder her nose. . .

Viceroy Matt
May 27th, 2011 at 10:50 am [Reply]

Thanks for the info, guys.

Mildred Monday
May 27th, 2011 at 10:50 am [Reply]

Beetle – I can see the wheels turning in the writers head..”Hmm, oh I know what’s funny, Otto getting glasses! Now, how would a doctor check a dog’s eyes? Maybe a chart with little poodles at different distances! No, that’s not funny at all. I’ll give it more thought.. I’m sure I’ll come up with something good.” ((some time later)) “Shoot, nope, that’s my best idea. It’s actually pretty funny now that I’ve thought about it. But it’s *really* hard drawing a chart with little poodles at different distances. I’ll just have Otto explain it. That will be just as funny, I’m sure.”

the end

Effluvius Erratus
May 27th, 2011 at 10:59 am [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#21):
MW: I kind of like imagining that the characters actually dance around each other, just as they’re drawn. So picture Dr. Jeff circling Dr. Drew, pausing occasionally in his bizarre movements to spout some Doctorin’ stuff. It’s fun!

Could it be that Mary Worth was originally intended to be a musical, but budget constraints tragically limited it to a 3-panel comic strip?

@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#39):
Mary – “As a doctor… I try to put myself in the patient’s shoes.”
“Well, Dad, I put myself in her pants, and now she won’t quit bugging me.”

I have never said this before, but COTW!

@Gloom Raider (#44): Sorry Old Man Muff…but this is the new COTW!

@commodorejohn (#66):
DT – Well it’s good to know that the new Tracy team doesn’t shy away from contrived, fetishistic death scenes! Man, Yahoo! Groups must be going wild.

I had no idea there was a fetish for being buried alive under 20 tons of flour!

Not Greg Evans
May 27th, 2011 at 11:05 am [Reply]

Oh sweet Jesus. Why does he keep doing this to me? Once again I feel the need to apologize to you all even though — and I can’t stress this enough — I’m Not Greg Evans

Tagged
May 27th, 2011 at 11:08 am [Reply]

NS: Old joke, older punchline…c’mon Wiley, you can do much, much better than that.

Walker of Dog
May 27th, 2011 at 11:19 am [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#21): But the ringtone that Alan assigned for Sam’s calls is Billy Ocean’s “Loverboy”, and everyone enjoys that song, right? Or is it “I’m A Snot”? I forget.

@Gloom Raider (#44): Ha! Just please don’t dress the Marys in those LBDs.

@Tim (#77): Aww, another happy ending on the Satellite of Love.

Bring me the Hart of Johnny
May 27th, 2011 at 11:37 am [Reply]

I didn’t even notice the typo in Luann as I was entering the URL. That song is so God-awful, it’s beyond parody. Greg Evans is actually expecting people to buy it for 49 cents? That’s 50 cents too much.

Also, in Funkytown, Les continues to suck.

S. Stout
May 27th, 2011 at 11:42 am [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#66):

It is everyone’s duty to watch the Luann video, dislike it, and comment on why it is bad, in hopes that Evans will stop this nonsense.

J.D. Rhoades
May 27th, 2011 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

Greg Evans: untalented across multiple media.

Greg
May 27th, 2011 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft: You have to admire the attention to detail in panel two: Jeff’s nostril is dementedly flared, betokening a heightened sense of emotional delirium not unlike Strether’s at the end of The Ambassadors.

Batiuk=Genius.

Just admit it, people.

Marc
May 27th, 2011 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

Luann: Yes, get back to created “music” or “work” or whatever you want to call the inevitable crime against humanity you’re attempting to produce. Because in Greg Evans’ world, nobody should ever act on their impulses and give in to human urges. Not that anyone would want to see an Aussie-Snot screw session anyways.

Funky: Speaking of crimes against humanity, Smirky McGee and Springhead Fishface are unable to express their feelings after having been dating (without ever actually going on a date mind you) for a couple years. I’m sorry I have no sympathy for Cayla. She’s almost as messed up as Les is. She changed her look to try to get him to notice her more, she’s put up with his BS for years, overlooks how he is playing her and apparently doesn’t mind playing 2nd fiddle to a ghost. Yet she is still around. She deserves whatever she gets from that A-hole.

Liam
May 27th, 2011 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

Love Is…wearing his sweater? Since when did the creepy naked children start wearing clothes let alone even owning clothes. A few days ago they visited Grandma and they didn’t put any pants on to visit her.

Garfield-This comic is taking a dark turn. A few days ago he encourages John to commit suicide and now he threw Odio in front of a bus.

Mark Trail-I think I know why Mark Trail looks the way that it does. They are stuck in some sort of bubble. Judging by the shot of the city in the second panel there is nothing else around. I am going to assume this is a city in a post-apocalyptic world and there culture is based on the 1970s or else Mark is in a coma and all this is all a coma dream.

Mary Worth-Yay! Now we get several weeks of Drew analyzing why Liza is a bat shit insane.

Eau de Plugger
May 27th, 2011 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

I regret that I listened to “I’m a Snot”. The line that sums it up: “Yeah I’m Bad”

AndyL
May 27th, 2011 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

I want to be a Caroonist when I grow up!

Chris Kern
May 27th, 2011 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

I still don’t understand the purpose of these Luann songs. If they’re supposed to be an attempt to recreate what it would actually be like for two random, average-talent teenagers to make a song, then they sound about right — although it still makes me question the purpose of going through the trouble of making them. If they’re supposed to represent an honest attempt to create a good song…..I don’t have anything more to say.

Cloudbuster
May 27th, 2011 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

@Liam (#91): And if everyone doesn’t go along with the way Mark imagines things should be, he thinks them into the corn field.

Dilbert: Hey, look, PHB does his “finger-quotin Margo” impression!

ArchieNemesis
May 27th, 2011 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#78): Yeah, it was a pretty weak effort and a stupid pun attempt. Sorry about that. Probably shouldn’t never have even posted it. Just felt that I needed to say something nasty about FW. I am swearing off that strip from now on; it makes my attempts at humor bitter and ugly. I now return to the land of Mark Trail, where the mushrooms are kicking in and Jack Elrod is really starting to trip.

A HREF
May 27th, 2011 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

Luann: Ok so Mama DeGroot gets all icky about the idea of Toni “hanging out” with her adult firefighter son, but is fine with her under aged (under 16? Luann doesn’t drive does she?) being in a bedroom for hours with a guy who is probably 18.

OK.

Black Drazon
May 27th, 2011 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

All I need to say about this Luann is that if I was so aroused that just saying the words “urgent and passionate” got me all wired, actually singing the song would mean that it wouldn’t really bother me any more, if you know what I’m saying. And if you’re a fan of Greg Evans’ work, you don’t.

Bill Thompson
May 27th, 2011 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

@ArchieNemesis (#96): I understood where you were going with the joke. I snickered (just the thought of FW strangles actual laughter) and thought, yeah, Batiuk is so humorless he’d fall for that one.

Alison
May 27th, 2011 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

Oh cripes, yet another “LuAnn” strip featuring Quill and LuAnn following the same old script:
“Ooohh…things are getting hot and heavy, baby…” [She gazes into his eyes]
“Uhhh huh, sure are…” [He moves closer to her]
“Soo…” [She breathes heavily and gets close enough to touch him]
“Uh huh?”
“So, let’s stop and do something else that has nothing to do with sex or even kissing. Cool?”
“Yup, cool.”
[They do something else. The end.]

Yeah, this is totally how horny teenagers alone in a room with the door shut act. Again and again and again. Just boink already, God damn.

Frank Lee Meidere
May 27th, 2011 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

Special Feature Float

This week recognising that:

LUANN’S SNOT WORTHY

***************************

OKStan

Luann – So they need an “urgent and passionate” backbeat that’s “pulsating and wild, and, um…uninhibited…” about being a snot. In other words, something with which you can get your freak-on with an immature brat? We’re entering so REAL dark territory here.

On the other hand, I originally misread the title as “I’m Snot”, so combine that with the “urgent and passionate” backbeat made me think of some freaky fetishes that’s best not to be explored.

Just SQUICK the whole way around.

Oregonian

“I have a rap. It has a real urgent, passionate beat. Pulsating… Wild… Uninhibited… It’s the kind of music that makes you want to put on a pair of assless chaps and play ‘Dodge the Raptor’ with the Python. I call it ‘You’re a snot but you’re not as annoying as Crankshaft.’ Catchy, eh?”

Jim C

So, I’m listening to “I’m A Snot” … and it sounds like Sleater-Kinney reunited at gun-point.

Shadrach

@Jim C: Please, never mention Sleater-Kinney and any “music’ by Greg Evans in the same sentence again.

Pozzo

I think punk would be the most appropriate genre for a song called “I’m a Snot,” but at least we can be thankful she didn’t opt for flannel-and-jeans folk music.

Alan’s Addiction

Call me old-fashioned, but I think that the words “passionate and urgent” don’t even belong in the same comic strip as the word “snot,” let alone the same paragraph. Of course, the characters in “Luann” have a seriously twisted view of romance (remember Gunther’s pig head?), so they don’t have the same objections.

Old School Allie Cat

Gregg Evans thinks it’s funny but it’s snot.

Anansi

Weird. The instant I started playing “I’m a Snot” on YouTube, I felt an earthquake. This is probably because of the New Madrid Fault Line. Either that or Tupac and Notorious B.I.G. are furiously flipping in their graves.

Gene S.

“I’m a snot” is so bad it’s good. Not bad/good like that “Friday” song, but bad/good like someone could sing it at Karaoke. It’s not quite bad/good enough for regular bar karaoke, but it is bad/good enough for drag queen/female impersonator karaoke. The kind that’s so gay your ass hurts hearing it.

Walker of Dog

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#21): But the ringtone that Alan assigned for Sam’s calls is Billy Ocean’s “Loverboy”, and everyone enjoys that song, right? Or is it “I’m A Snot”? I forget.

Marc

Yes, get back to created “music” or “work” or whatever you want to call the inevitable crime against humanity you’re attempting to produce. Because in Greg Evans’ world, nobody should ever act on their impulses and give in to human urges. Not that anyone would want to see an Aussie-Snot screw session anyways.

Eau de Plugger

I regret that I listened to “I’m a Snot”. The line that sums it up: “Yeah I’m Bad”

***************************

Sgt. Stoned
May 27th, 2011 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

@The Grandstander (#12): MW: Jeff doesn’t want to realize that Drew is talking about somebody other than a patient, lest he be drawn into a conversation about his son’s sordid “love” life. In fact, if Drew gets any more specific, we are like to witness Jeff sticking his fingers in his ears and loudly proclaiming: “LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAAAAR YOU!”

True Fable
May 28th, 2011 at 11:12 am [Reply]

Missing ‘lyric’

I’m a jerk, I’m a hack
I sound better better on my back

After hearing what I’ve sung
I remind you of William Hung

But you love me anyway

Just some guy
May 28th, 2011 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

People are unnecessarily brutal to Evans & his silly videos.
I mean, I’m all for bashing bad stuff (I’m on this site) but some people are acting like he made a video shooting puppies in the face.

A HREF
May 29th, 2011 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

@Alison (#100): Wish I had said this. Of course Luann may end up preggers and we then have a Very Special Luann.

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Thursday, May 5, 2011

Sunday horror shows

Crock, 5/2/11

Ha ha, someone thought that underage scat porn used as an instrument of torture was a good theme for a comic strip! Sure, why not?

Crankshaft, 5/2/11

It sure makes Crankshaft’s half-assed attempts to sexually harass hapless customer service personnel seem positively quaint by comparison.

Spider-Man, 5/2/11

This whole “human vampire” business has worked itself out in even sillier fashion than I could have imagined, with Dr. Morbius’s fiancee accidentally becoming a real vampire in order to understand her beloved’s fake vampirism. The only logical hole out of many I’ll point out here: wouldn’t Dr. Morbius, wracked with guilt over his faux-vampirism, have noticed his fiancee’s vampiric tendencies? “Say, sweetie, would you like to go out for dinner? I’ve got 6 o’clock reservations!” “Let’s make it 9, so that I don’t have to leave the apartment when the sun’s still up. Also, they serve blood there, right? You know I subsist entirely on human blood now.”

Also, regarding the last panel’s NEXT box, it probably wouldn’t be so much a race against time if Peter had woken up when MJ first got into trouble, several hours ago.

Panel from Hi and Lois, 5/2/11

Was baby Trixie from Hi and Lois not on your list of characters who filled you with dread? Well, that’s changed forever now, I’ll say.

This entry was posted on Monday, May 2, 2011 at 12:16 am and is filed under Crankshaft, Crock, Hi and Lois, Spider-Man. | 59 responses to “” Apeman
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:30 am [Reply]

How did the guy who draws Crock ever get that job? I drew better comics for my high school newspaper and my art consisted of “ants” which were three black circles drawn on top of each other with lines on top for the antennae, two in the middle circle for arms and two on the bottom for legs. And I couldn’t even draw faces inside the circles. And yet what I drew is still infinitely better than anything I’ve ever seen in Crock!

ElkMeadow
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:32 am [Reply]

Whoa, Liza is right in Dr. Drew’s space. What meds have she been taking from the supply room?

Dexter is still up in the second floor. I think strip wise maybe 15 hours have gone by, somehow. Here, in our world, I think it’s been three months.

Oh, wow, don’t jump! Your weapons took out the big O.b.L.!

Poteet
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:33 am [Reply]

I’m glad I’m not a superhero, because there’s no way I could get any sleep while encased in spandex.

Aviatrix
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:34 am [Reply]

You think YOU were confused by FW. The way I saw it, Montoni went downstairs and opened the door to a closet in which an amorphous creature holding an arrow was hanging from a closet rail, and also a small copy of the creature was lunging out, surrounded by light. It makes a lot more sense for it to be a video game.

Apeman
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:38 am [Reply]

High and Lowest: It looks like Trixie is ready to move on from the bottle to BRAINSSSSSS! Nice, chewy BRAINSSSSSS!

Aviatrix
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:42 am [Reply]

@SamECircle (Y12): We laugh sometimes as a defence against confusion.

Artist formerly known as Ben
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:44 am [Reply]

Tawdry? Underwear? That’s tango and uniform! You’re a disgrace to whatever underwear uniform you used to wear, Crankshaft. Now drop and give me twenty!

Poteet
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:48 am [Reply]

Even in Bram Stoker’s DRACULA, which portrayed the Count as a very non-hunky fiend, being bitten by a vampire was somewhat erotic. But Martine makes it look about as much fun as getting audited. Eroticism is not allowed in S-M, period.

Poteet
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:50 am [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#4): That’s about the way I saw it, except I thought the creature portrayed on the closet was a hideously-deformed cat. The truth was a relief.

BigTed
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:50 am [Reply]

Apparently the main difference is that “human vampires” look like Lon Chaney, but the real ones just get hotter. No wonder the “crypts of Transylvania” are such a big tourist attraction among juicy Americans that the original vamps still hang out there.

Aviatrix
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:50 am [Reply]

@bartcow (Y17): I didn’t read all the comments before posting mine because I thought there was no chance of oversnark for such a nonsensical interpretation. But you saw the same thing, yet managed to make some sense of it. There should be some kind of award for that.

Artist formerly known as Ben
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:51 am [Reply]

@Poteet (#8): I’m guessing Dracula finished too soon for her.

AndyL
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:54 am [Reply]

Look how much empty space was left in the signature box on Spiderman. It’s like the artist keeps hoping against hope, that maybe this week, Stan Lee will acknowledge all the peons working under him who actually craft the strip. Nope. Too bad. Try again next Sunday.

BigTed
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:55 am [Reply]

Is Trixie on ecstasy? What a day to be without her pacifier!

This Guy
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:55 am [Reply]

I’m sure I’m not the only one who thought of a great epitaph for a mansion-dwelling terrorist: “Christ, what an asshole.”

AndyL
May 2nd, 2011 at 1:06 am [Reply]

Ah, nothing indicates the great outdoors more than a squirrel in the foreground caught in the act of climbing down from a vertical tree-trunk onto a horizontal branch. … apparently. … because that’s how they always indicate it.

Push Trot
May 2nd, 2011 at 1:10 am [Reply]

It’s early morning here, but before going to work I just want to say congratulations, you got the bastard.

I’ll never forget that fateful day almost ten years ago, and I don’t think anyone in our generation will. Now at least there’s a sense of closure, and although it won’t bring anyone back, it will make it a little less hard to bear for those who still suffer.

Ten years ago I lighted a candle in front of the American embassy. I think I’ll drive by and do the same today.

Comcis Fan
May 2nd, 2011 at 1:11 am [Reply]

FW: Come on. Darin is cramping Les’ style? Considering Les’ style consists of old-man polyester jackets, a physique that doesn’t even lift power-walking weights, and tentatively smooching his supposed lady friend, doesn’t seem there’s much of a threat there. On the other hand, maybe the idea is that Darin will serve as yet another romance-dousing reminder of Lisa. That’s probably it.

sak
May 2nd, 2011 at 1:13 am [Reply]

This is the adorable. Peter Parker is wearing spiderman pajamas to bed.

Alan's Addiction
May 2nd, 2011 at 1:21 am [Reply]

I hereby give today’s “Crock” strip the coveted “Best Euphemism of All Time” Award. Specifically, inserting the phrase, “suffering from disease, fatigue, and starvation” for the more commonly used phrase, “Still drunk from the night before.” Also, it’s worth noting that most of us have desperately tried (with varying levels of success) to remove/destroy any embarrassing photos/movies/evidence that we were ever disgusting or immature in our youth. It’s highly disturbing that Crock not only has hung on to his personal, wretched mementos of a (hopefully) bygone era; but that he seems to prize them.
I used to wonder about the comics page’s quaint aversion to all things remotely sexual or scatological. Now, thanks to seeing Crankshaft mention the word “underwear” and the unspeakable Lovecraftian horrors it brought to my mind, I know that the taboo is less about social conformity, and more about protecting the readership from clawing clawing off their own faces in terror.
Today’s “Spider-Man” is a treasure trove of snarky potential. First of all, Mary Jane should be VERY familiar with being drugged and unconscious, or, as Peter refers to it, “the honey moon.” *Rimshot* Also, I’m disappointed that the close-ups of Mrs. Human Vampire are entirely above the neck, because that outfit she’s wearing is easily the smartest and most interesting thing in the entire strip. I’m being serious, that bodice-thingy has a higher IQ than anyone who wanders around Transylvania looking for Dracula just so they can be bitten and turned into a vampire. Finally, I’m pleased to see that Peter Parker sleeps in Spider-Man flannel feety pajamas, just as any respectable man-child would.
I like to think that Trixie is suffering from severe heroin withdrawal and is taking her mind off of her physical cravings by chewing on her play pen.

Doctor Handsome
May 2nd, 2011 at 1:52 am [Reply]

I like how Morbius’s sad face registers the dawning realization that his girlfriend almost certainly banged Dracula.

Fashion Police
May 2nd, 2011 at 2:17 am [Reply]

We are not certain where the action in the Sunday Phantom is taking place, but the cigar-smoking gentleman in the the leftmost panel of the second row appears to have wandered in from some American trade association convention. He also appears to have wandered in from 1973. Although given President Luaga’s taste for accessorizing in purple and teal it just may be possible that pink ruffled tuxedo shirts are quite middle-of-the-road in Mawitaan society circles.

dude's got
May 2nd, 2011 at 3:32 am [Reply]

@Poteet (#3):

Spiderman has the original pair of underoos, doesn’t he?

Bill Thompson
May 2nd, 2011 at 4:37 am [Reply]

Spiderman is shocked to find that his wife has gone missing? She might be easier to find if they slept in the same bed. Ditch the single bed, Spidey, and stop sleeping in your underwear. For that matter, you’re a freelance photographer, right? Develop a client list that extends beyond J. Jonah Jameson. Maybe some other newspaper would like to scoop him with exclusive pictures of the latest monster to threaten the city. Either that or admit you enjoy being his photobitch.

Bill Thompson
May 2nd, 2011 at 4:43 am [Reply]

Crankshat’s problem isn’t that he’s confused by the spelled-out military alphabet. It isn’t that he was in the military when it was T was Tare instead of Tango and U was Union instead of Uniform. The real problem is that when he was in the military, he was a centurion and the Roman alphabet didn’t have the letter U. It still trips him up.

KarMann
May 2nd, 2011 at 6:09 am [Reply]

Well, quite the timing for Doonesbury today!

KarMann
May 2nd, 2011 at 6:18 am [Reply]

Looks like Bob Weber Sr. decided to borrow a bit of art from Bob Weber Jr. in today’s Moose & Molly. [*] So, how many symmetries can you find?

Firefly
May 2nd, 2011 at 6:27 am [Reply]

Is it normal for female vampires to wear stripper-worthy outfits?

gleeb
May 2nd, 2011 at 6:41 am [Reply]

‘bean: Creepy Les sure is having a hard time juggling so many sexual relationships.

Phantom: Guran takes unexpected pleasure in a woman’s collapse.

Slylock: Sure, it’s an empty suitcase. But that’s just because it’s a prop. These two have to meet here for their trysts because the rest of the prairie dog colony persecute their love. Slylock the Oppressor strikes again.

Rocky Stoneaxe
May 2nd, 2011 at 7:00 am [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#yy138):

More Weird Sound Effects (Sunday Edition):

reFOOB — BONK!
Non Sequitur — FOOMP
Rose is Rose — CHING CHING… KISS
Baby Blues — SKRRCCH! BAZOING! BONK

Little Guy
May 2nd, 2011 at 7:11 am [Reply]

Happy Monday! Congrats to the CotW, the floaters, and the floatillion! Next week, a revamped Peanuts has Snoopy as the Famous Special Ops Sniper ready to take out Osama bin Ladin.

As promised, bringing up the rear is the Duck Boat with the Evil Empire observation by Shrug, accompanied by ElkMeadow and the Sherlock Holmes and Occam on-target prediction in Curtis.

animus
May 2nd, 2011 at 7:13 am [Reply]

Is it normal for female vampires to wear stripper-worthy outfits?

Yes. I’ve seen it in a lot of films.

Little Guy
May 2nd, 2011 at 7:14 am [Reply]

Actually, this is the dead-on call by ElkMeadow.

Spunde
May 2nd, 2011 at 7:26 am [Reply]

Judge Parker: Even Judge Parker must be stunned at the level of smugness it takes to, while standing on a rooftop preparing to jump, begin your name with “Dr.”

Patrick
May 2nd, 2011 at 7:27 am [Reply]

That’s a heck of a lot of set-up panels in Crankshaft for such a lame joke. Gotta give it to the artist, though. Every angle of Crankshaft’s head has been lovingly rendered.

Peanut Gallery
May 2nd, 2011 at 7:33 am [Reply]

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#7): In that case, he should have said “niner”.

Krazy Kat
May 2nd, 2011 at 7:45 am [Reply]

Good thing Peter was wearing his Spiderman PJs!

Peanut Gallery
May 2nd, 2011 at 8:03 am [Reply]

@Little Guy (#31): Expect variations on this gag to be showing up everywhere immediately. But don’t expect comments to appear in the comic strips until a couple of months from now!

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
May 2nd, 2011 at 8:13 am [Reply]

IP: yeah, chimps get like that when they get older.

JS: *obvious “Young and the Restless” comment here.*

Bizarro: NICE!!!

JUMBLE: wouldn’t you like to ride in my beautiful, my beautiful balloon.

Mutts: o dear, another week of Shelter Stories. *puts on heart armor*

PBS: I feel your pain, Pig.

RwO: tiny lettering WIN! (you do realize that is Les and Cayla after the next timejump.)

6Cx: updated pee mail joke, how current.

Zits: mmmmm, snickerdoodles. . . .:-)~~~

SB: *dies laughing*

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
May 2nd, 2011 at 8:21 am [Reply]

@Firefly (#28):

yes.

(nsfw)

KarMann
May 2nd, 2011 at 8:32 am [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#39): Your SB is Speed Bump, not Strange Brew, right? If so, hell yeah, me too. :)

mvg
May 2nd, 2011 at 8:36 am [Reply]

Peanuts: When did Charlie Brown move to Westview?

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
May 2nd, 2011 at 8:46 am [Reply]

epic happy pup.

they see me rollin.

bellehbellehbelleh! (as demonstrated here.)

rhapsosqui in blue.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
May 2nd, 2011 at 8:47 am [Reply]

@KarMann (#41): yes, Speed Bump it is. :-)

frothy
May 2nd, 2011 at 9:41 am [Reply]

“Ha ha, someone thought that underage scat porn used as an instrument of torture was a good theme for a comic strip! Sure, why not?”

It’s not being used as an instrument of torture at all. It’s being used as a source of entertainment for the men, to boost their morale. Those guys are the soldiers, not the prisoners. Crock’s idea is that the men would like to see these so that they can point and laugh at them, not be tortured by them.

Rhekarid
May 2nd, 2011 at 11:52 am [Reply]

So, blankets are Spider-Man’s kryptonite? “Too heavy and warm! Can’t…move! Desire to save lives, fading! Must help MJ….hey, is that a potato chip between the cushions? *crunch*”

ElkMeadow
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#y8):

Even in Bram Stoker’s DRACULA…. being bitten by a vampire was somewhat erotic.

Somewhat erotic? SOMEWHAT?! What edition did you read? The Illustrated Children’s Classics?

Poor Thompson
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

I’m not sure what to think about the fact that in the Marvel universe having a medical condition automatically leads to one becoming a super hero or villian. I have Tourette’s Syndrome, so I’m trying to come up with a good name for myself in case I ever move there. Unfortunately, “The Tick” is already taken.

That Library Nut
May 2nd, 2011 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

Trixie will eventually have that exact same face and say that exact same thing when she is infected with the zombie virus. “Chip certainly tastes…CHEWY!”

Black Drazon
May 2nd, 2011 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

Oh, good. Crock is Marvin in the future, leading the foreign legion to war in the desert without outdated equipment and no food. Everything makes way more sense now, to be honest.

Is Mary Jane in trouble again? After the mainstream SM was made a single man again, did they make sure they only hired people at Marvel that think “marriage” is a synonym for “constantly kidnapped ad nauseum”? Don’t get me wrong, they deserve work too, and couldn’t have found a happier home.

Roktober
May 2nd, 2011 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

“From you Morbius! I learned about vampirism from watching you!”

Parents who indulge in vamprism have children who indulge in vampirism. Talk to your kids about being an unholy creature of the night before its too late.

Hamburger Cheesedoodle
May 2nd, 2011 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

Spider Man: http://img683.imageshack.us/img683/2088/yeahnothanks.jpg

Mysterious shirtless lawyer
May 2nd, 2011 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

“Also, regarding the last panel’s NEXT box, it probably wouldn’t be so much a race against time if Peter had woken up when MJ first got into trouble, several hours ago.”

Yeah, but then we wouldn’t get to see MJ drugged and unconscious, with her skirt half-way up her thighs. For someone who lives in Baltimore, that must be pretty close to heaven.

Victor Von
May 2nd, 2011 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

“I live again… as a vampire… therefore, this sexy Halloween costume was my only choice. Available from Target.com, $49.95.”

caliban
May 2nd, 2011 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

How come I Can’t See You In My Mirror? Great rock ‘n’ roll.

Johnny Q
May 2nd, 2011 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

Spiderman waking up late reminds me of the ’50s TV show THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN, where the Man of Steel always arrived to save the day not one second earlier than he had to.

Liam
May 2nd, 2011 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

Hi and Lois-Run, Trixie’s got a taste for human blood.

Owen
May 3rd, 2011 at 6:13 am [Reply]

@#13

I was personally thinking that the Spider-Man credit box was a template designed to include credit for Stan Lee and whichever artist happened to be saddled with the job on any given Sunday – but that the current artist flat out refused to have their name associated with this abomination.

Greg
May 3rd, 2011 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

She’s a vampire now, but I’m glad to see she has the good taste to wear a pearl necklace. Very classy.

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Sunday, April 3, 2011

Non-Shoe goggle eyes of horror

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"Is Iris the on-call person for the Fortune Cookie Hotline? Reminding people to add 'in bed' is just one of the many services the FCH provides." --bartcow

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Gasoline Alley, 3/24/11

I can’t be bothered to update you on the boring doings in Gasoline Alley — they’ve involved genealogical research and the American Revolutionary War, and I actually find both of those topics interesting, or at least I did until this strip got its hands on them. Apparently, though, the last several weeks have been far too thrilling for this strip’s target 80-and-up demographic, so in order to soothe those folks, we’ve slowed down a bit and now some guy in a suit is telling extremely mild jokes to Clovia. Still, to judge by her shell-shocked expression in the final panel, you’d think he’d been giving her the graphic details of the time he spent in the killing fields of Cambodia. That “LOL” is not some sad attempt at Internet-speak, but rather an incoherent gurgle of horror. Oh, God, the puns! Please, no more puns!

Crankshaft, 3/24/11

Ha ha, look at that knowing glance Crankshaft’s pals are exchanging. After all these years, could this finally be the massive heart attack they’ve been praying for?

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 24, 2011 at 09:14 am and is filed under Crankshaft, Gasoline Alley. | 309 responses to “Non-Shoe goggle eyes of horror” Cloudbuster
March 24th, 2011 at 9:16 am [Reply]

9CL: OK, the in-strip advertising is beyond annoying and into profoundly insulting. This from a guy who shut down his comments page because it sullied his “art.”

Rocky Stoneaxe
March 24th, 2011 at 9:17 am [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#y284):

A3G: Does Dan Diller’s beard/hair combo extend under his clothes? ewwww.

“Dan Diller” is a 250-year-old WOOKIEE, who recently found himself stranded in Colorado when his spacecraft malfunctioned. “Diller” heard through the Wookiee grapevine that Han Solo is now living on Earth under the name of “Margo Magee”. So he disguised himself as a human and traveled to the city where Solo/Magee was last seen… (That also explains the black vest and white blouse “Margo” likes to wear!)

Cloudbuster
March 24th, 2011 at 9:19 am [Reply]

@myself(#1): I feel compelled to add that I’d entertain myself by reading the ingredients off a shampoo bottle before I’d buy his damn book, at least in part because of the way he’s shoving it in our faces.

Captain Plaid Pants
March 24th, 2011 at 9:19 am [Reply]

Here’s a tip on making FW enjoyable. Virtually every Funky strip can be spiced up if you imagine one final panel where someone says, “Awwww, snap!”

Effluvius Erratus
March 24th, 2011 at 9:23 am [Reply]

…could this finally be the massive heart attack they’ve been praying for?

Based on Ed’s worsening aphasia, I vote for stroke.

Not Just Any Dipstick
March 24th, 2011 at 9:24 am [Reply]

MT: Ah Ha, someone else flies the plane. Whoda’ thunk. Too bad Mrs. HighJeans didn’t think to have a ‘look-alike’ key to hang on the rack. Stupidity must infect all who dare share a room with sir ‘Marks-a-lot’.

Gloom Raider
March 24th, 2011 at 9:24 am [Reply]

A3G: I keep hoping she’ll take him home, where :”You see, Iris, I’m actually R. Daniel Balustrade, eccentric millionaire heir to an architecture dynasty! Also, I have invented the cure for bland & stupid: Paul, Lu Ann—drink this.”

The really sad thing is that in the last panel, you can see that under his Cousin Itt cosplay, Dan already looks just like every other guy in this strip.

Cloudbuster
March 24th, 2011 at 9:25 am [Reply]

MT: What? I … I don’t understand. The plane was already there. Otto flies it. Now, what, another plane is coming in? And that plane couldn’t fly to “the States,” because … ? Range? OK, I get that. Otto’s little plane is about as short-range as they come, though… So, instead of just refueling the arriving plane, they have to take all the drugs off the arriving plane and load them onto Otto’s plane? I’m trying to make sense of this here, really. And, please, please, where is this string of drug smuggler islands that operates within a few hours drift of, um, I’m guessing Florida, yet remains unknown to the Coast Guard, and where they act like Americans are foreigners, and they keep hot milfy cooking and cleaning slaves? Because I want to get a time-share there.

But What Do I Know?
March 24th, 2011 at 9:27 am [Reply]

MW — Now Mary is thinking “What talent do I have that I can teach Dawn? What is my passion, the one thing I can do better than anyone else? The activity my name has become synonymous with? It’s on the tip of my tongue–I used to do it all the time WHEN I STILL APPEARED IN THIS COMIC STRIP EVERY NOW AND AGAIN!!”

A3G — Let’s forget about it and enjoy the play.” It has obviously slipped Aunt Lois’s mind that she is at a performance of Big City. . .

JP — “I’m your Mom and president of your fan club” Really? Even Abbey has to break out a Funky Winkerbean smirk to go with that treacle.

Dood
March 24th, 2011 at 9:28 am [Reply]

Crankshaft: Hey, look at the old guys re-enacting the tipping scene from “Reservoir Dogs.”

Cloudbuster
March 24th, 2011 at 9:30 am [Reply]

MW: What I wanted Toby to say: “And why would who comes in and out of my apartment be any of your business, you nosy bitch? Do you EVER mind your own business?”

Swordsmith
March 24th, 2011 at 9:31 am [Reply]

Zits: Nope, receiving a text does NOT mean you have to look at it NOW. The beauty of texts (to the extent that there’s anything good about them) is that they can wait till you’re good and ready to receive them. This is still not Jeremy’s fault. Also, I don’t see how he could have sent ten texts while sitting stationary at the light, and yet Hector was yelling at him for texting while at the light, rather than the obviously stronger yell he’d have had if Germ had also been texting while driving.

RMMD: Envelope =/= ticket. Is there a ticket in there, and is it the right one? How many millions of dollars to you have to have before you can treat a slip of paper putatively worth 6M this cavalierly?

Agnes: Sorry, that’s a blank baby blue lunchbox, there’s nothing on it to even hint at HM, unless she somehow OWNS periwinkle. This is a “phoning it in” art effort.

AC: Say what you like, Cap does spend a lot of time reading the newspaper, unlike most comics. I guess Smyth remembers where his money comes from.

A3G: Ms. Iris. Does she just have one name, like Sting? Or is Iris her last name, maybe she’s Mary Iris? Iris Iris, maybe, like Major Major?

MT: Why isn’t random henchman in panel 3 wearing his “all the men on the island wear this kind of hat” hat?

MW: That pie is hot enough to generate an appreciable amount of steam, but Mary is holding it in her bare hands. Does she dream of electric sheep?

Maggie the Cat
March 24th, 2011 at 9:31 am [Reply]

Those goggly, wide-set Gasoline Alley eyes are just unnerving.

Mibbitmaker
March 24th, 2011 at 9:31 am [Reply]

@Cloudbuster (#1): Brooke puts the “pretend” in “pretentious”.

Little Guy
March 24th, 2011 at 9:31 am [Reply]

@Cloudbuster (#1): Sure, what’s going to get me to buy the book is an implicit “You Suck!” from the author.

GA: *guitar chord from Otto Man while Pimply Teenager yells “yaaaaaaaa” offkey*

Rusty
March 24th, 2011 at 9:32 am [Reply]

Crank: Substituting Comet cleanser for his non-dairy creamer finally pays off, as the harsh chemicals have built to a lethal level in his esophagus.

Cloudbuster
March 24th, 2011 at 9:33 am [Reply]

LUANN: Is there hilarity or just ickiness in an adult school guidance counselor who doesn’t realize how grindingly inappropriate it is for her to appear in a beauty contest run by and featuring the students she’s supposed to be counseling?

Cloudbuster
March 24th, 2011 at 9:37 am [Reply]

LUANN: Ya, know, come to think of it, every school guidance counselor I ever dealt with in my youth was kind of a head case.

Calico
March 24th, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]

Ha, Sally and her family may be in Stanstead!
http://www.canadiangeographic.ca/magazine/ja10/stanstead-border-town.asp

Scott Bot
March 24th, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]

MT – ‘My name is Otto, and I love to get blotto.’ (obscure Simpsons reference)

Pluggers – What we aren’t told is that this plugger is thinking of an upgrade, if he can get his buddy down the street to sell him that old 8-track player he has in his den.

(true story – my plugger inlaws recently got a DVD player, and bought themeselves one of those country music history video collections you see advertised on Sunday mornings on the more obscure television stations. When I asked them how they liked the player and the discs. They told me they had returned the discs because they were defective, they had these ‘black bands above and below the picture that took up a small part of the screen. Apparently they were not familiar with the concept of ‘letterboxing.’)

anonymous
March 24th, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]

Gasoline Alley: Clovia’s eyes aren’t especially googly in the last panel. They always look like that. The other characters eyes in the strip, i.e. her fat load of a husband, are black spots, but Clovia is supposed to have, I guess, light eyes, blue maybe, and her black spots are always in little circles.

Esther Blodgett
March 24th, 2011 at 9:44 am [Reply]

@Scott Bot (#20): *giggle* If you sent that in to Pluggers, I’ll bet you’d get a note back saying “No made up stuff, please.”

spike
March 24th, 2011 at 9:47 am [Reply]

@Dr. Weird (#y275), @Cloudbuster (#1) et. al.: It just time once again for “a word from our sponsor.” Make the best of this insipd break–get up and grab a beer or drink of your choice (It’s always noon somewhere in the world…), make a sammich, etc. Are Brooke’s antics really worth a burst carotid? My guess is “No”.

Drew Funk
March 24th, 2011 at 9:48 am [Reply]

I’ve always held the belief that the best way to make a marginally witty joke sound funnier is to employ a funny voice at a key moment, but the Gasoline Alley suit guy seems to go for wild arm gestures and ta-daaa moves like he’s some sort of terrible pun magician. I wouldn’t mind seeing this approach adopted by Crankshaft every time he says something wrong and stupid and still accompanied by his trademark scowl.

Also, I kind of enjoyed GA today, because it’s acknowledging that people who type ‘lol’ on the internets are in fact never ever laughing.

Dennis Jimenez
March 24th, 2011 at 9:49 am [Reply]

GA – The Seezex filled his diaper! Uncle Walt clogged the toilet! Clovia has diarrhea! This strip never fails to crack me up – so the guy in the tie shit his pants, right?

Crankshaft – I’m so hoping one of these guys Crank is suppin’ with is the grim reaper….

Adios Amigos, DJ.

Esther Blodgett
March 24th, 2011 at 9:54 am [Reply]

S-M: My high-school yearbook photo must prove that Morbius is a real vampire. ‘Cuz, you know, he’s not in it.

FW: If the joke is that parents who give their kids stupid names may not be mature enough for parenthood, then I can’t say I disagree. I can’t say it’s funny, but I can’t say I disagree.

MW: Mary has brought a pie for Toby to use as a model, as her painting of a Jello mold doesn’t seem to be turning out so well.

Cooler King
March 24th, 2011 at 9:57 am [Reply]

MW: “I didn’t know she had the inclination. Or aptitude, fine motor skills, attention span, ability to distinguish colors, capacity to remember how to get to your house…”

FW: So the teacher begrudgingly thinks this kid isn’t ready for marriage because he wants to give his imaginary babies star names, and not because he’s 15? Come on lady, he has so much life and youth yet to experience – he hasn’t even lost a limb yet!

Esther Blodgett
March 24th, 2011 at 9:58 am [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#y286): Corgi haz blue merle! Yay!

word-doctor
March 24th, 2011 at 10:03 am [Reply]

MT-Today’s scene is much improved by overlaying the voices of Srs. Montalban and Villechaize.

Rocky Stoneaxe
March 24th, 2011 at 10:05 am [Reply]

@Dr. Weird (#y275), @Cloudbuster (#1), @spike (#23):

My bathroom breaks are scheduled around annoying commercials — which is pretty much all of the commercials I see on TV!

Calico
March 24th, 2011 at 10:06 am [Reply]

@Cloudbuster (#11):
I guess when Mary enters bearing gifts of Salmon square and tofu pie, the intrusion can be tolerated for a short while.

pugfuggly
March 24th, 2011 at 10:08 am [Reply]

C-Shaft I’m starting to think that Ed’s little malapropisms over these past few days aren’t jokes as much tell-tale signs of dementia. ‘Acrid reflux’? ‘Bones’ in his soup? He’s regressed to the age of 4….

MW She’s back!!! Oh Lord in Heaven I didn’t think we’d see her again after this extended interlude with twitchy and the fat one. Where do you suppose she’s been? My suspicions are that after her brush with the in-ter-net, she’s been working hard to ‘fix’ 4chan….

Just Call Me E
March 24th, 2011 at 10:10 am [Reply]

OBH: Today Joe describes both of my sons perfectly!

Nosyt
March 24th, 2011 at 10:12 am [Reply]

Gasoline Fire: SHSIDWCHMLEUATSSP*

(*shakes head slowly in disbelief while contemplating how my life ended up at this sad, sad place.)

Terry in Maryland
March 24th, 2011 at 10:13 am [Reply]

Phantom: The Python knows the Phantom is near from the wafting waves of Brut (by Faberge) in the air.

Calico
March 24th, 2011 at 10:13 am [Reply]

@pugfuggly (#32):
She must have been candystriping again at Santa Royale Hospital, wheeling around the rusty old 1950’s book cart with the Nancy Drew, Barbara Cartland, and Reader’s Digest compilation tomes, reminding people on their deathbeds that yes, printed matter really IS still better than that evil evil i/o thingy.

Little Guy
March 24th, 2011 at 10:14 am [Reply]

MT: “You are a beautiful plane’s coming in.” Well, that makes more sense than a Pibgorn storyline.

Zits: We’ll also find out Jeremy’s texting also caused the earthquake, tsunami, and meltdown. (too soon?)

Luann: If you’re to ask a character to look like an asshole in crushing a old maid’s dreams, you might as well use your most hated character. Well, SECOND most hated. Dirk wasn’t available for this plotline.

TheDiva
March 24th, 2011 at 10:17 am [Reply]

C’shaft: Wishful thinking, Josh. Scientists have thus far been unable to locate Cranky’s heart.

DT: That is a chainsaw sculpture in panel one, right?

FW: Fortunately, Cody’s chances of actually procreating seem slimmer by the minute.

MW: I’d tell Mary that she’s too late for the meddle, but I fear her wrath.

Doctor Handsome
March 24th, 2011 at 10:19 am [Reply]

Bill O’Reilly’s new career as a Borscht Belt comedian looks like a non-starter.

teenchy
March 24th, 2011 at 10:20 am [Reply]

@Cloudbuster (#17): Yes to all, but mainly it’s laziness on the part of the cartoonist who can’t be bothered to create new characters. Hootin’ Holler isn’t even this inbred.

Nosyt
March 24th, 2011 at 10:22 am [Reply]

A3G- I thought Howard Hughes was a germaphobic recluse.

Rocky Stoneaxe
March 24th, 2011 at 10:22 am [Reply]

For those DICK TRACY fans who missed it…

The Reekers playing “Don’t Call Me Flyface”:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KteuoFJPL8

Nosyt
March 24th, 2011 at 10:24 am [Reply]

@Doctor Handsome (#39): Yelling “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” isn’t an effective way to deal with hecklers…

Nosyt
March 24th, 2011 at 10:30 am [Reply]

FC: “Dolly, that’s because the stomach acid from your burgeoning bulimia has loosened all your teeth.”

wossname
March 24th, 2011 at 10:31 am [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#Y292): Actually it was about half an hour from the time I called it until the new thread – I was expecting more like 30 seconds.

Charlene
March 24th, 2011 at 10:34 am [Reply]

@Effluvius Erratus (#5): But he feels pain in his abdomen, so the only way it could be a stroke is if he has his head up his…

…never mind…

rembrandt36
March 24th, 2011 at 10:36 am [Reply]

@Little Guy (#37):

way too soon

Walker of Dog
March 24th, 2011 at 10:38 am [Reply]

@bats :[ (#Y276): Funny, and Yikes! It really is all about where you set the goalposts, isn’t it? I was initially thinking that my pediatric bulimia joke might be a little too out there, then suddenly I found myself wandering contentedly between the 40 yard lines, safe in the knowledge that you are all over the downfield coverage.

Twinkles the Elf
March 24th, 2011 at 10:41 am [Reply]

FOOB: Am I the only one who thought Deanna had weird little high-hung boobs in panel three?

Rocky Stoneaxe
March 24th, 2011 at 10:41 am [Reply]

Mary Worth — Not only does Dawn have the inclination to paint, but more importantly, she can afford to pay Toby’s fee of $20.00 an hour for lessons!

Mibbitmaker
March 24th, 2011 at 10:49 am [Reply]

DT: Reeeeeeeeeally great at not blowing their cover, aren’t they?

FW: Batiuk: “See? I‘m not ready to be my 1972-92 jokewriter self yet!”

JP: “I’M BEING A POUTY TEENAGER, ALRIGHT?! GAH!!!”

Dennis Jimenez
March 24th, 2011 at 10:51 am [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#2): If I’m not mistaken, it’s Dan “Fang” Diller….

Artist formerly known as Ben
March 24th, 2011 at 10:54 am [Reply]

GA: Clovia wracks her brain to remember where Slim keeps the gun. Whether she’ll use it on herself or on zombie Bob Hope hasn’t been decided yet.

A3G: You really gotta love the theatre to spend time with a lady who keeps calling you a lying vagrant.

MT: This is what happens when Trail goes NC-17. A Russian circus strongman reciting Christina Aguilera lyrics.

9CL: Okay, this is getting beyond annoying. How many times can you run a banner ad for your own book as the second panel before the syndicate takes you out to the woodshed? An infinite number of times, apparently.

Ziggy: “Oh, I’m not hungry. I’m just here to crap on your head.”

S-M: You just answered your own question, Spandex-Moron. To say you have the proportionate obtusneness of a spider would be an insult to spiders.

OBH: Joe knowing what “reluctant” means makes me suspect the whole anti-larnin’ thing is just a front.

BB: Sarge has a girlfriend but has to pay her to be with him. I’m guessing that’s a standard situation for Camp Swampy brass.

M-Dawg: Oh, don’t mind him. He’s just gathering firewood to cook you with.

MW: “She said that she had a massive wi-fi bill and couldn’t afford a real art teacher. What do you think she meant by that?”

Comcis Fan
March 24th, 2011 at 11:00 am [Reply]

MW: Oh, she has the inclination, alright, and I see scary Wilbur horror clowns in Dawn’s future.

Oregonian
March 24th, 2011 at 11:05 am [Reply]

Can someone explain the “joke” in today’s Gasoline Alley? What does Rogue (with a capital “R”) have to do with North Texas? I even tried Google Maps, and that didn’t give me any answers.

Here’s a rewrite:
Guy in Suit: “My 2nd cousin spent his college years rafting in southern Oregon. He was a real Rogue’s scholar. Get it?”
Clovia: “STFU.”

McManx
March 24th, 2011 at 11:06 am [Reply]

Crankshaft — I personally am hoping that a baby alien is about to burst forth from Crank’s abdomen.

Gasoline Alley — Clovia is one of the only, if not the only, character who has pupils in her eyes. All others either have vacant, Orphan Annie eyes, or little dots. Don’t know where I’m going with this other than to say, she scares the shit out of me.

Spiderman — So Spidey can follow the gliding vampire guy because he has run out of buildings to swing from? Why doen’t he just shoot a string of web over the vampire’s wings and watch him fall to his death? Oh, but I guess that would be too easy…

Mark Trail — So Mark hides while coaxing Lonnie to go prostitute herself to Moustachio Badguy in order to get the key to the plane so he can escape? That’s pretty cold.

Zits — Ha, ha. Jeremy just got rear-ended by his girlfriend. What a role reversal!

Phantom — I’m amused by all the skully fumes through the halls of the empty prison; “Ghost-who-walks can clear a room with his farts”… Old Jungle Saying.

McManx
March 24th, 2011 at 11:08 am [Reply]

Sorry, should have said “So Spidey can’t follow…”

Anonymous
March 24th, 2011 at 11:10 am [Reply]

@Oregonian (#55):

He thinks it is a clever play on Rhodes Scholar.

jayjaybear
March 24th, 2011 at 11:13 am [Reply]

Pluggers: In other words, Pluggers have big 10-inchers.

Excuse me while I go gouge my mind’s eye out.

Mibbitmaker
March 24th, 2011 at 11:14 am [Reply]

MW: The INTERNET kept her down!!!
Honestly, this has all the subtle social criticism of SNL’s “X-Police” (the characters, not necessarily the sketch itself)

NS: Jefferey is now just a male Danae (“the opposite sex sucks!”).
Those two are a perfect match, and will make a great couple — namely, the Lockhorns…. as written by Lynn Johnston!

Ghost-Who-Now-Looks-Kinda-Like-An-Actual-Ghost: I think he is!

jayjaybear
March 24th, 2011 at 11:17 am [Reply]

I’m hearing today’s Rose Is Rose narrated by Sir David Attenborough: “The suburban armadillo (Jimborus gumbolianes) will curl up into a ball when confronted with the threat of household spider extermination…”

Scott Bot
March 24th, 2011 at 11:18 am [Reply]

@Mibbitmaker (#60): the Lockhorns…. as written by Lynn Johnston!

This is a perfect description of FOOB.

Shiai
March 24th, 2011 at 11:20 am [Reply]

FW: Cody is already deemed a failure because of his unwillingness to conform to the narrow parameters of what passes as social norms in Westview. Hey nerd, where do you think you live, in Hollywood?

Chip Whittle
March 24th, 2011 at 11:22 am [Reply]

Frog Applause today is seeking the confused approval of TrueFable, by the way.

Pseudo3D
March 24th, 2011 at 11:22 am [Reply]

9CL: Sex and advertising! It’s just like TV!

DT: They still need to point out things, however. See, some things never change.

FC: First panel is great for a mashup of Dolly being rude.

FW: You can’t change the rules mid-game, bitch! Just because someone has fun means it’s their fault?

GT: With Lini, “five straight wins” sounds a bit strange.

MT: A grown-up Rusty appears at the door? Maybe this is the future.

MW: Creepy again.

Pseudo3D
March 24th, 2011 at 11:25 am [Reply]

to clarify, sex and advertising is 9CL recently, not just this one

and also…
S-M: DUH! Yeah, a vampire. And you had believed him.

Spunde
March 24th, 2011 at 11:27 am [Reply]

Crankshaft: Wait, he gets “acid” wrong but “reflux” right? Because “reflux” is the more familiar word? Isn’t that like saying his habit of malapropism is coded in his deoxyribonucleic acrid?

Zemto
March 24th, 2011 at 11:28 am [Reply]

Jumble: After so many days at sea, his buddy was becoming a TASTE MEAL.

bats :[
March 24th, 2011 at 11:30 am [Reply]

@Swordsmith (#12): MW: that’s not a pie. That’s Mary’s attempt to slip an air freshener into Toby and Ian’s fetid condo, by hiding one in a double-crust pie. Clever, yes?

Artist formerly known as Ben
March 24th, 2011 at 11:30 am [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#2): Margo always shoots first.

Spunde
March 24th, 2011 at 11:32 am [Reply]

@Oregonian (#55):

You’d want something like “cascading around Southwest Oregon,” to parallel panhandling in North Texas.

Rocky Stoneaxe
March 24th, 2011 at 11:35 am [Reply]

Blondie — A sleeping Dagwood calls out the name of his One True Love:
“Skeezix… SKEEZIX… SKNKX-XX!!”

(Dag’s wife, his postman, Mr. Dithers, Herb and the golf pro at the country club will have to get in line!)

Esther Blodgett
March 24th, 2011 at 11:35 am [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#42): Awesome surf music with an awesome Dick Tracy reference is…er, awesome. Yeah.

Oregonian
March 24th, 2011 at 11:36 am [Reply]

@Anonymous (#58): “He thinks it is a clever play on Rhodes Scholar.”

Yeah, yeah… I follow that. But where’s the “Rogue” part coming in? The standard joke, when someone spends a lot of time wandering around, is that he or she is a “roads scholar.”

S. Stout
March 24th, 2011 at 11:38 am [Reply]

@Little Guy (#37):

Dirk is actually one of the most liked characters in this strip, considering he’s against the main antagonist’s: Brad, Nancy and Luann DeGroot.

bats :[
March 24th, 2011 at 11:39 am [Reply]

@Scott Bot (#20): you MUST send this in to Pluggers! (I don’t know how you’d phrase it, but it must be done!)

Jim North
March 24th, 2011 at 11:39 am [Reply]

@Oregonian (#74): Because the guy was a panhandler, a beggar, a tramp. So, y’know, kinda roguish.

Jim North
March 24th, 2011 at 11:44 am [Reply]

9CL: Y’know, I was just thinking, “Boy, I could sure go for some crass commercialism today!”

A3G: “After you, Ms. Iris. I’ll be along just as soon as I pick up my top hat, monocle, and diamond-tipped cane.”

Crank: As an actual sufferer of chronic acid reflux, I am offended.

DT: Haha, I don’t know whether they meant it to look that way or not, but I really like that it looks like Dick is just about to stone cold knock the Fifth out. I’m betting that the new Dick Tracy works on Mark Trail rules and the Fifth has some crazy eyebrows or something under that hat, making him free and clear for the Fists O’ Justice.

FC: The best Family Circus strips are probably the ones featuring sexual innuendo involving child molestation.

FW: What the hell is Ms. Teacher’s problem now? Even taking into account all the freaky time jumps, she was probably born in the 60’s, meaning her first name is probably Rainbow or Starrunner or something. Now here she is getting all huffy ’cause she doesn’t think Quasar or Nova are appropriate names for kids. Hell, if she didn’t have two childhood friends named Quasar and Nova herself, I’d be surprised. Get over yourself, Ms. Moonchild Wintergold Teacher.

GT: Sorry, Lini. Coach Thorpe is already taken by Coach Mrs. Coach Thorpe. Try Kaz. Maybe he’s in between boy-girlfriends.

JP: GAH! Oh, sorry . . . I just flashed back to every cliche sitcom mother/daughter moment ever made. Now, let’s see what’s in today’s Judge Parker, shall w- GAH!

MT: That’s right, baby. Otto’s gonna befriend you all night long.

Oregonian
March 24th, 2011 at 11:47 am [Reply]

@Jim North (#77): Meh. I think of a rogue as someone who breaks the rules and does something sneaky or underhanded. Panhandling is just a straightforward request for cash. But Wikipedia sees it your way.

God help me. I can’t believe I’m spending this much time thinking about Gasoline Alley.

boojum
March 24th, 2011 at 11:47 am [Reply]

@But What Do I Know? (#9):
JP — “I’m your Mom and president of your fan club” Really? Even Abbey has to break out a Funky Winkerbean smirk to go with that treacle.

No, no; she’s serious. Sam and Abbey have hired a New York advertising agency to set up a nationwide Sophie Fan Club. It has 4500 members, all compensated handsomely. Abbey’s the president. Sam is not actually involved, but pulls down $250K a year as Chairman of the Board.

dale
March 24th, 2011 at 11:47 am [Reply]

MT

Otto flies his own plane. There are several regular flights in. I think Lonnie actually used the name of a real carrier – package type, not passenger.

Who said the Coast Guard doesn’t know the island exists? The secret is the drug business, not the island.

Doctor Handsome
March 24th, 2011 at 11:47 am [Reply]

@Jim North (#77): Stop defending Gasoline Alley. You know goddamn well it doesn’t make any fucking sense.

Écureuil Écumant
March 24th, 2011 at 11:56 am [Reply]

RMMD: Why so surprised, June? In your business don’t you occasionally encounter “little pieces of paper that change people’s lives”? The most recent one I recall was the mayor’s PSA results.

Maggie the Cat
March 24th, 2011 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

@Oregonian (#74):

Exactly. A rogue is a scheming scoundrel, not a bum. Panhandling doesn’t involve a lot of scheming, just a lot of looking dirty, pathetic, bedraggled, and having a tin cup for coins.

Comcis Fan
March 24th, 2011 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

9CL: Commercialism aside, isn’t it a little skeevy for a man to get so excited about his grandmother-in-law, even if she was quite a stunner back in Dubya Dubya Two? To you 9CL regulars, is this strip Luannesque in its off-kilter focus on sexual urges?

boojum
March 24th, 2011 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

Phantom: Let’s see. A blind murderer/prophet/sculptor predicts that he and the Python will soon die — and is dead himself by morning. That night, as mysterious silent sounds are heard and visible fog drifts through the brightly-moonlit windowless interior, the Python wakes to find his maximum-security
prison door soundlessly opened and a loaded pistol on his pillow. All perfectly reasonable so far.

But now the fog takes on the Phantom’s signature skull shape?! Doesn’t that seem, I don’t know, contrived?

More than that, I wonder if it means anything?

Jim North
March 24th, 2011 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

@Doctor Handsome (#82): Hey, no defending GA here. Just because it might make some weird, twisted amount of convoluted sense doesn’t mean it’s any good, after all.

@Oregonian (#79) & @Maggie the Cat (#84): Definition #3 of “Rogue”: A tramp or vagabond.

Thank you and good night! Er . . . morning. Or afternoon. Whatever!

Bitter Scribe
March 24th, 2011 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

Clovia “shell-shocked”? You’re always going to look a bit shocked when your eyes are empty circles.

Old School Allie Cat
March 24th, 2011 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

@Swordsmith (#12): Oh. Oh Jesus! Mary’s a replicant! It all starts to make sense.

UncleJeff
March 24th, 2011 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

@boojum (#86): It’s either “foreshadowing” or The-Ghost-Who-Likes-Menthols has restarted his old “3 packs of KOOLS” habit.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 24th, 2011 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

@McManx (#56): “I personally am hoping that a baby alien is about to burst forth from Crank’s abdomen. ”

which then dances down the table singing “Ragtime Gal”

@jayjaybear (#59): records. [*]

Dood
March 24th, 2011 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#91): In the voice of Michigan J. Frog.

Poteet
March 24th, 2011 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

GA — I read a few extremely old GAs in comic compilations when I was a child, but our paper didn’t carry it, and I missed many years of GA until I arrived here at CC. Not long after I decided to start reading it again *brief pause to bang head on wall,* I remember that some kindly Mudge took the time to write out a synopsis of all the convoluted action and family relationships that had developed in GA during the past few decades. After reading that, I figured that if nothing else, the strip would at least move along at a reasonably brisk pace. I figured wrong.

Esther Blodgett
March 24th, 2011 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

Pluggers: My grandparents, who were born in 1912 and have long since passed away, had some 78s stashed in their basement. Even way back in the 70s, they were an antique curiosity – they had a perfectly modern (for the time) collection of 33s for when they wanted to listen to their Perry Como or their Jim Nabors.

What I’m saying is…Methuselah was a Plugger??

jayjaybear
March 24th, 2011 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#91): Yeah, I think I may have whooshed over a lot of heads with that one. ~sigh~

which then dances down the table singing “Ragtime Gal”

“Check, please!”

Red Greenback
March 24th, 2011 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

GA:
“LOL”? The poor dear. Clovia obviously spends too much time on the internet and needs some kite therapy.
CS:
“Yeah… but I think I may have that eruptile dysfunction.”

Little Guy
March 24th, 2011 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

@Dood (#92): “Check, Please!”

bats :[
March 24th, 2011 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

@Swordsmith (#12): re MW: I take it all back about the “aroma lines” coming from Mary’s pie (boy, that sounds bad). At least they’re not the stink lines we’ve come to associate with Cwappants Wobin or Marvin.
This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship…

gleeb
March 24th, 2011 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

@Dood (#10):
Nah, it’s been previously established that all of these guys are Mr Pink, stiffing the waitress every time. Crankshaft needs a little Lawrence Tierney.

Scott Bot
March 24th, 2011 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

@Esther Blodgett (#94): In an era where casettee tapes are very out of date, the concept of some 60 something Plugger listening to a 78 is a tad strange.

Scott Bot
March 24th, 2011 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

Dammit, I spelled ‘cassette’ wrong. Preview, Bot, preview!!!

commodorejohn
March 24th, 2011 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

A3G – Dude, yes, Iris is totally taking a hobo to Tommie’s play. Now, God, would you please let her take him to live with her in Mrs. Bloom’s apartment?

Crankshaft – This has got to be against some kind of law.

DT – Oh, the Dick Tracy Extremely Obvious Explanatory Balloon! How I’ve missed you!

FC – Thankfully, bats :[ already did the obvious joke so I don’t have to.

FW – Smarmy helmet-haired douche having kids with stupid names despite the utter inexplicability of anyone ever being attracted to him? I’m terribly afraid that Funky Winkerbean is about to recurse on itself.

GT – “I need to ask you about, um…asking something. Seriously, do you do anything around here? This entire plot was resolved by Kayla and the Bible kid while you sat back in that chair.”

JP – So…how much air do you think Abbey displaces when she turns?

Love Is… – an appropriate dumping ground for your pubes!?

MT – Bwahaha, is there any man in Mark Trail who has any sexual interest in a woman? I mean, Otto here just wants to be buddies with the widow of the man he killed, Mark wouldn’t know a naked woman from a fascinating new species of beetle…I guess there was Ranger Buzz back in the Senator McPimphand storyline, but he got all his vigor drained out of him by Jan the succubus…

MW – “I’ve just finished painting my immobile hair-mass a vivid, neon yellow! Doesn’t it just glow?”

Phantom – You could try, y’know, looking for him.

Pluggers – OH MY GOD I’M A PLUGGER SOMEONE GET ME A PISTOL TO PUT IN MY MOUTH

PC – D’awww.

RMMD – Okay, seriously, just how many shots of June from groveling height have there been by now?

Shoe – God help me, I laughed at Shoe.

SM – No, it’s just because you fail at being a photographer almost as hard as you fail at being a superhero.

Edison Lee – A perfectly justifiable use of newsprint space, to be sure.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 24th, 2011 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

I love this place.

geeky references FTW!!!!

Uncle Lumpy
March 24th, 2011 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

@gleeb (#99):

… stiffing the waitress every time.

These guys must eat a lot of spit.

commodorejohn
March 24th, 2011 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

@jayjaybear (#59): Just be glad that cylinder recordings are too far out of date even for Pluggers…

Jim North
March 24th, 2011 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#102): JP – So…how much air do you think Abbey displaces when she turns?

All of it.

Baka Gaijin
March 24th, 2011 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

To those carping that Mary Worth didn’t appear in this storyline: Even Mary has her gross-out point. We collectively cringed as we watched from afar on computers or newspapers, the squicky story unfolding on the comics page. Can you imagine being point-blank close to Wilbur the Pedophilic Incestor whining to Dawn the Insipid? We should be congratulating Mary for not ejecting her spleen and duodenum during the projectile vomiting that certainly must have occurred.

Austria
March 24th, 2011 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

Arch: That shirt is freaking terrifying. I feel like, in real life, if any high school girl wore a shirt with their crush’s face on it, it’d be social suicide.

reFOOB: And then they won’t let you use mechanical pencils either.

FW: Say what you will, but I like this nerd kid. He knows what’s up. He’s a geek, and he’s not afraid to proclaim it to the world. You just know Obligatory Snot Girl is going to end up naming one of their kids Snooki, but Nerd Guy will just keep on keepin’ on and sneak the egg babies off to a Star Trek convention or something.

Luann: I like how her title is “Head Examiner.” In my school, the counselors were basically just there to tell you to pick a college already.

MT: Friendship. Uh-huh. You just keep telling yourself the readers are going to believe that.

MG&G: Man…that is one big baby.

Zits: Yup. Valuable Lesson, coming from a mile away.

Mustang
March 24th, 2011 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

It’s funny because Ed Crankshaft is a sad hateful jerk who shows disdain for his fellow humans by feigning ignorance of the conventions of their shitty little language.

Baka Gaijin
March 24th, 2011 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

Apartment 3-G: If they shack up tonight, before Dan does tomorrow’s Walk of Shame, Iris better search Mr. Diller’s beard for Mrs. Bloom’s pussy. [*]

Jim North
March 24th, 2011 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

How the Iris/Dan relationship is gonna end up working out.

But What Do I Know?
March 24th, 2011 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

@boojum (#80): With all of the actual work done by Constance the intern, no doubt. . .

bats :[
March 24th, 2011 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#105): I own one of those players and several cylinders, too. My favorite is an instrumental version (I honestly don’t know if there are lyrics) for the song “Redwing.” Coming up a strong second is a genuine “comedy” recording called “Uncle Josh in the Department Store”…it’s like a field trip for the Hootin’ Holler gang to Wal-Mart.

Chyron HR
March 24th, 2011 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

A3G – Dapper Dan can’t be a hobo. He’s not sporting torn-up jeans–the sort that would be perfect to wear for a hobo gathering.

Frank Lee Meidere
March 24th, 2011 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

FW: The kid’s 15 and, as far as I can tell, far smarter than anyone else in the strip. He’s at least smart enough to treat this “facilitated learning experience” as the codswallop that it really is. Truth is, I suspect he’s got more potential to be a good parent than the sheeple around him.

Besides, what’s so weird about the names? In 1966 I knew a girl named Nova. She would have been christened sometime in the early ’50s, late ’40s — long before the “hippies” were enlivening the name pool. Admittedly “Quasar” is a tad unusual, but I certainly can’t talk. Among the names we gave our children are “Aragorn Haldir,” “Ayesha,” and “Magellan.” And before you all freak, we also gave each child a “normal” name to fall-back. Oddly enough, the only one who ever used the fall-back name didn’t have a particularly unusual name to start with: “Damion.” But he switched to “John” in grade three because The Omen came out and the kids started calling him the anti-Christ.

Besides, it’s not like “Funky Winkerbean” is one of the top 100 most common names.

Shrug
March 24th, 2011 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

@Little Guy (#37):
“Luann: If you’re to ask a character to look like an asshole in crushing a old maid’s dreams, you might as well use your most hated character.”

And yet hated character Tiffany at least had the grace to go for the face-saving interpretation when offered, meaning that she was less rude to her little old(-ish) lady today than alleged Nice Kid LuAnn was to hers yesterday.

Effluvius Erratus
March 24th, 2011 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

@Scott Bot (#100):
In an era where casettee tapes are very out of date, the concept of some 60 something Plugger listening to a 78 is a tad strange.

Is R. Crumb a Plugger? Was Harvey Pekar?

commodorejohn
March 24th, 2011 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

@Frank Lee Meidere (#115): Yeah. I think we’re reacting against this guy because he’s pretty obviously supposed to be a Generation Xerox of Les. But yeah, nothing wrong with strange names – God only knows what my kids are gonna get. (Not “Dweezil,” at the very least.)

Liam
March 24th, 2011 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

MW-Now we begin Dawn’s decent into painting addiction.

Jim North
March 24th, 2011 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#118): Going with “Moon Unit”, then? Excellent choice.

terrapin
March 24th, 2011 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

@Austria (#108):At my school, the counselors were there to tell all the boys to join the Army.

Scott Bot
March 24th, 2011 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

@Effluvius Erratus (#117): Good point.

commodorejohn
March 24th, 2011 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

@Jim North (#120): The trick will be finding things that will make my mother roll her eyes without pre-emptively dooming my child to a change of name the moment they turn 18 ;)

terrapin
March 24th, 2011 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

JP: Give the poor kid a break. It’s gotta be rough being the only female in the strip that doesn’t have ginormous and impossibly perky bazongas.

gnome de blog
March 24th, 2011 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

@terrapin (#124):
She’s 14. Give her a couple of months.

CanuckDownSouth
March 24th, 2011 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

@Austria (#108) et al: FW: The geek boy is a jerk and, as a geek, I cringe at the thought of spending time with someone like him. Today he’s done nothing objectionable. But being smart [questionable] and seeing the setup as the ridiculous exercise which it is is no excuse for (1) crowing about some imaginary sexual prowess which doesn’t even have anything to do with the male [relegates him in my mind to an utter dimbulb] and (2) making embarrassing underwear jokes.

I classify him with the lowlife elementary school boys who made fake farting sounds constantly one year. They were also part of the bully posse, which this guy, based on his “humour”, aspires to be.

gnome de blog
March 24th, 2011 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

They ought to pack Sophie off to public school in Westview, Ohio so she can play basketball with Summer and Keisha and hang out with Cory (not Cody) Winkerbean. Maybe if she’s lucky she can get a part-time job at Montoni’s, washing dishes with Wally’s dog. At least then she’d have something to complain about.

spike
March 24th, 2011 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#110): [*]

CdS: Win!

Esther Blodgett
March 24th, 2011 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#118): I recently learned that Dweezil’s birth name was actually the more common “Ian,” but only because the hospital refused to register the name “Dweezil.” He was never called anything but Dweezil by his parents, and when he learned later that his “real” name was Ian, he insisted on having it legally changed.

Kids…they’re so weird.

Gal Friday
March 24th, 2011 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#42):

The Reekers–great tune there, thanks for sharing. Quick question: Are the Reekers a current band playing 1960s-garage-style music? Or are they a 1960s garage band?

Lee
March 24th, 2011 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

GA: I feel a bit dirty for identifying with Clovia here, but having worked at the front desk of a small museum, I have also had to try to get my regular work done while pretending to listen as someone tried to be funny, or went on about their specialized interests for an hour or so, and there was no escape! So, I’m not sure if I was supposed to find this strip “funny”, but I certainly do find myself sympathizing. I guess that’s a front-desk-jockey’s version of Plugger points…

Chyron HR
March 24th, 2011 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

@gnome de blog (#125): Give her a couple of months.

But who wants to wait until 2039? I need boobies NOW.

gnome de blog
March 24th, 2011 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

I quit reading Gasoline Alley years ago, and I feel bad about its decline. It was a great strip for a long time.

I was about to say they need to kill off not only Walt but Skeezix’ generation and start over, but that won’t work. Clovia would be the only decent character left. No, I’m sorry to say it but it’s time for Uncle Walt’s funeral and for Skeezix to retire to the old comics home, and just to say good-bye. Nothing lasts forever.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 24th, 2011 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

@Chyron HR (#132): here you go.

Peanut Gallery
March 24th, 2011 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

@word-doctor (#29): “De plane, boss! De plane!”

gnome de blog
March 24th, 2011 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

@Chyron HR (#132):
Judge Parker is like an earthquake. It doesn’t move at all for a long time and then it lurches ahead. The Spencerverse has a non-linear space-time contimuum. Sophie went from 11 to 14 overnight. Neddy went to Paris straight out of high school and she’s been there for what? 3-4 months and she’s about 22 now. Sophie will be fully locked and loaded sooner than you think.

Scott Bot
March 24th, 2011 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

@Chyron HR (#132): I don’t think we’ll have to wait that long. Judging by the rapid development of the other girls, Judge Parker is becoming the Growing Up Skipper of comic strips.

Pete
March 24th, 2011 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

Sorry, but I don’t consider swindling the citizens of Addison and Plano to be particularly impressive.

Effluvius Erratus
March 24th, 2011 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

@Scott Bot (#122): I don’t think I have a point. I genuinely want to know!

For years I’ve been trying to pin down just what makes a Plugger a Plugger. Their characteristics apparently range from listening to 78-rpm shellac records to listening to 33.3-rpm vinyl records to listening to reel-to-reel tapes to listening to 8-track tapes to listening to cassette tapes; from shopping exclusively at box stores to eschewing the big boxes in favor of Mon & Pop stores; from living off of nothing but free food samples to preparing every single meal from scratch; from obsessively re-using (or what they call “recycling”) paperclips to compulsively collecting them till they fill up every drawer in the house; from using torn-up old newspapers as cat litter (again, “recycling”) to dying under a collapsed ceiling-high pile of yellowed, decades-old newspapers; from having served in “the War” to having served in the “the Great War”; from doing nothing but watch TV all day to doing nothing but watch TV on bunny ears all day; from being a dog-man who owns dogs to a chicken-lady who makes killer omelettes and is married to the dog-man and has dog-children!

What I’m getting at is that they’re such a mishmash of contradictory character traits that I’ve all but given up hope on figuring out who are what Pluggers are! But but if we can pin down that certain well-known personages are or are not Pluggers, that, yes, R. Crumb is a Plugger but, no, Harvey Pekar was not; or, no, R. Crumb is not, but, yes, Harvey Pekar was; or that, yes, both are/were Pluggers, then I think I’ll have enough to work with for a while that I can finally sleep for the first time since discovering The Comics Curmudgeon.

commodorejohn
March 24th, 2011 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

@gnome de blog (#133): You know who they really need to kill off? Fucking Slim. That dumbshit is the number-one reason I quit reading the strip. Let him blunder his way into another dumb quandary and get killed for being stupid, and then the strip will be immeasurably more tolerable.

Frank Lee Meidere
March 24th, 2011 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

@Effluvius Erratus (#139): Thanks. For a long time I’ve been wanting to put together all the contradictory things that supposedly make someone a Plugger. Sometimes the characteristic limits Pluggers to those over 80, but sometimes it suggests they’re in their 40s or 50s. And so on, and so forth.

And now you’ve gone and put a number of them together for us.
As for whether this or that person could be a Plugger — still have no clue.

Morndew
March 24th, 2011 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

FW-I have to disagree on the names being only those chosen by a 15-year-old. My daughter has a classmate named Nova, and her parents were all-grown-up when they had and named her. They were just cronic potheads.

Rocky Stoneaxe
March 24th, 2011 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

@Gal Friday (#130):

The Reekers were a 1960s garage rock band. You’ll find more info here:

http://www.garagehangover.com/?q=Reekers

Mel aka Mel
March 24th, 2011 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

@Terry in Maryland (#35): I saw drifting smoke and thought for sure it was Jean Naté, but then I saw the skull and knew it had to be Love’s Baby Soft.

bats :[
March 24th, 2011 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

@Morndew (#142): maybe they were fans of Planet of the Apes.

Rocky Stoneaxe
March 24th, 2011 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

@Chyron HR (#114):

Dapper Dan Diller in happier days:

http://media.photobucket.com/image/%252522Dapper%20Dan%252522%2527Marvel%252522/tomasutpen/Album%25202b/dapperdan.jpg

Effluvius Erratus
March 24th, 2011 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#143) & @bats :[ (#145): … Or perhaps ancient Romans?

At one of the schools I taught at there was an Arwen and, unrelated to her, an Éowyn (yes, with the accent). Guess which one was the whinging prissy princess and which one was the ass-kicking go-getter.

Pseudo3D
March 24th, 2011 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

ReFOOB: Despite my dislike for this strip, and that Michael and Deanna grow up to be an unlikable married couple, I do sympathize with Michael and his difficulties with pencil sharpeners. Yeah, the ones at school always destroyed pencils and never really sharpened them. Hence, in 5th grade or so, I switched to mechanical pencils, and things have been good ever since.

Esther Blodgett
March 24th, 2011 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

Oh, well, if we want to talk about names…A co-worker once told me that he went to high school with identical twins named Oranjello and Yellojello. In both names the accent was on the second syllable (say them out loud – it’s fun!). He swore this was true, and he was a truthful type.

btown
March 24th, 2011 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

like Superman under a red sun, Mark seems to be losing his special powers. He is growing facial hair like a normal human; his ability to thought-balloon: gone. And, except for a brief period when he first regained consciousness, he has not uttered a single boldface word! What are we to expect next?

- Will his clever plan to steal Otto’s plane be foiled when he, for the first time in memory, suddenly hears the “call of nature”?
- Will he attempt to deck Otto and smash into thousands of little pieces like in a Tex Avery cartoon?
- Will he gradually develop a preternatural interest in Lonnie’s copious bust?

My guess: Unaware of his five-o’clock shadow, he attempts to sneak past the drug smugglers/natives by dressing up in a wig, mom jeans, and magenta halter top, is spotted immediately, and is thrown into the harem to become the next Lonnie.

Artist formerly known as Ben
March 24th, 2011 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

@Effluvius Erratus (#139): @Frank Lee Meidere (#141): It’s the result of having readers contribute the “gags”, I think. Since the contributors blessedly do not all think alike, divergent and even contradictory standards for Pluggerdom are bound to arise. The only governing rule seems to be, “If you think you’re a Plugger, you probably are.”

Or as the Fifth Doctor said early in his run, “Well, that’s democracy for you.”

odinthor
March 24th, 2011 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#113): Yes, indeed, there are lyrics. I actually have the sheet music for Kerry Mills’s Red Wing in my piano bench, and could hum it for you just like that—just like that, I tells ya!—but better far to listen to the recording linked to at the above link.

anty a
March 24th, 2011 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

Luann: So in 2011 we’re going to put teenage girls on a stage and judge their physical appearance. How much progress have we made? Apparently none. And if all this is leading up to an underage swimsuit competition, I’ll raise both eyebrows.

ArchieNemesis
March 24th, 2011 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail: Sometimes, when Otto is really high on his own drugs, he tells his henchmen that he just realized something: “Otto is Otto backwards!” as well as “I know they call them fingers, but I’ve never seen them fing.” He also checked True on the pilot’s license question “Alcohol increases your capability to pilot an aircraft.”

Effluvius Erratus
March 24th, 2011 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#151): Well, on that note, what Pluggers plainly needs is for Gary Brookins to be sacked and replaced with someone who will impose some editorial consistency, a “Master,” if you will, who will make sure Pluggers are all the same.

Rocky Stoneaxe
March 24th, 2011 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#145), @Effluvius Erratus (#147):

Or maybe they were fans of this comic book character:

http://bdcomics.bdgamers.net/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/nova_1_1976.jpg

Old School Allie Cat
March 24th, 2011 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

@anty a (#153): No, no – not just an underage swimsuit competition, but an underage swimsuit competition held at Weenieworld. Really, you can’t make this stuff up… unless you’re Gregg Evans, and then it just flows freely.

Dood
March 24th, 2011 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

@ArchieNemesis (#154): Otto’s a chrome-dome palindrome sporting an aerodrome.

Jasper
March 24th, 2011 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

MW – Dawn’s obsession with social networking, now that was exciting. Her about to be obsession with painting promises to be so dull that the writers will be forced to come up with another plot. Not a problem. Any time that Mary and food are together in the same panel, there is a new meddling opportunity just around the corner. Dawn is taking lessons from someone who can’t even hold a paint brush properly? Toby has more paint on herself than the canvas.

Trey Le Parc
March 24th, 2011 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

9CL: Inserting advertising into a comic strip is wrong. Brooke McEldowney, get the hell off my newsprint lawn.

FW: There is no God to whom one can pray in the dank and dim Funkyverse. It’s more likely these two old mossbacks are wondering if they have enough time to shamble to the hardware store for a few sacks of quicklime.

Zits: Who did not see this plot twist arriving like the wheezing van into which it crashed? Me, that’s who. I’ve got better things to do than follow this cliche encrusted crapfest.

Dood
March 24th, 2011 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

@Effluvius Erratus (#139): What I don’t get is the whole interspecies Plugger coupling. Except for Sheila Roo, who’s kind of hot in that Margo Magee sort of way. But seriously, who would want to cohabitate with rhino, chicken, dog or elephant Pluggers?

Mark B
March 24th, 2011 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

Somebody had to bring up Dirk from LuAnn. He disappeared several months ago with some sort of mystery statement that we were never going to see him again. No further explanation. As far as I know. I guess that story line’s been completely dropped, at least until 50 years from now when Toni and Brad are retiring from the Fire Dept. and find his remains in a locker which hasn’t been opened in 50 years in the firehouse.

Scott Bot
March 24th, 2011 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

@Effluvius Erratus (#139): I did misread your first comment, and I apologize. I thought you were stating that 78’s don’t necessarily make you a Plugger, and I was agreeing with that. Stupid cold drugs…

Anyway, I think being a Plugger has less to do with the things they write in but their attitude toward them. I don’t know whether you’d call it pride or cluelessness, but most people that send stuff to Pluggers have one thing in common – they are oblivious to the fact that the things they do look pretty lame to everyone else. Most people would probably not even think about the fact that they know where every bathroom in the Super Wal-Mart is or that we have to double check our buttons and zippers before we leave the house – a Plugger is proud of it (and admits it in a nationally synidcated column).

To me, it’s kind of like the shirtless people on Cops – most normal people, if they were ever in that situation, would say something like ‘Hey, let me get a shirt on’ or ‘There’s no way in Hell I’m signing that release, get that camera out of my face.’ But a certain segement of the population will be saying ‘Hot damn, what time do you think this is gonna air? I want to set my DVR to record it!’ That attitude, toned down, is what makes a Plugger.

But it could also be the DayQuill talking…

littlestevie
March 24th, 2011 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

@Scott Bot (#163): Is Dayquill that stupid Aussie dude in Luann?

Baka Gaijin
March 24th, 2011 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

@Trey Le Parc (#160): “Cliche encrusted crapfest.” Salmon squares anyone?

commodorejohn
March 24th, 2011 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

@Old School Allie Cat (#157):
No, no – not just an underage swimsuit competition, but an underage swimsuit competition held at Weenieworld. Really, you can’t make this stuff up… unless you’re Gregg Evans, and then it just flows spurts freely.

There, fixed that for you.

Esther Blodgett
March 24th, 2011 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

@littlestevie (#164): No, that’s G’dayQuill.

bats :[
March 24th, 2011 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#156): or maybe where she was conceived.

anty a
March 24th, 2011 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

@Old School Allie Cat (#157): Weenieworld. Of course. I had apparently blocked that from consciousness. Apparently having only two eyebrows to raise won’t be enough.

teenchy
March 24th, 2011 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

Rather than trying to figure out “what makes someone a Plugger” might it not be easier to figure out “what makes someone not a Plugger”? (Awkward sentence, I know.) It seems someone is not a plugger who:

1. Is affluent
2. Is an early adopter of technologies (heck, is an adopter at all)
3. Keeps abreast of current events and popular culture
4. Does not hoard

…More?

Rocky Stoneaxe
March 24th, 2011 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

You don’t have to be one of Brookins’ PLUGGERS to like this rendition of
“Red Sails in the Sunset”:

http://www.youtube.com/user/phonomono78s#p/u/17/iKbyabTCTgU

McManx
March 24th, 2011 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#91):
#91 and 92 — LOL. I’m glad I’m not the only SpaceBalls fan…

commodorejohn
March 24th, 2011 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#171): As long as we’re sharing fun 78 recordings, this is one of our treasures…

[Old Man] Muffaroo
March 24th, 2011 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

Family Day comments:

9 – Yes, during WW2, Edda’s grandma was Bugs Bunny in drag, tricking Helmut Fudds out of their cwosewy guawded secwet pwans.

Close – Disturbingly enough, the way he draws, those could be intended as nipples.

Family – “I’ve been practicin’, and I can almost blither by myself now!”

Phantom – I’m waiting for one of the clouds to spell out “HEY! A STERANKO EFFECT!”

Pluggers – Do about the same stuff as anybody else, but they’re special. (Yeah, I’m a bit late to this party.)

commodorejohn
March 24th, 2011 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#173): And that would be this, if I hadn’t somehow botched the HTML…

[Old Man] Muffaroo
March 24th, 2011 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

@Drew Funk (#24): I kind of enjoyed GA today, because it’s acknowledging that people who type ‘lol’ on the internets are in fact never ever laughing.
We chorus members in “Carousel” were told to make more reactive background chatter, so I turned to my partner and said “L.O.L.!” (Also, this.)

@Dennis Jimenez (#25): I’m so hoping one of these guys Crank is suppin’ with is the grim reaper….
It would have to be one that’s not the husband from “Marital Mirth” in “Super Fun-Pak Funnies.”

@jayjaybear (#95): I used to hear that one on Dr. Demento all the time before he went over almost exclusively to novelty records by disk jockeys who thought they could be Weird Al Yankovic without trying. But I had to go animate today instead of reading all the comments. (And isn’t the line “…record! Of the band that plays the blues!”)

[Old Man] Muffaroo
March 24th, 2011 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#105): I got to play with a cylinder machine and some of its records back in the 70s at a campus museum in South Dakota. I asked if it worked, and the docents didn’t know, so I asked if I could try it, and they didn’t see why not. I listened to a cylinder of “Uncle Josh at the Bug House” that had been played to death — like “No News: Or, What Killed the Dog,” as described by James Thurber. If left to its own devices, it would have just stayed in the same place and played the same 10/13 of a second over and over and over (per Thurber: “Ate some burnt hoss flesh, ate some burnt hoss flesh, ate some burnt hoss flesh…”). By applying gentle finger pressure, I could hear the entire comedy record… which was paralyzingly awful! Well, I go on at greater length about that here, so I’ll curtail this for now. Suffice it to say, ‘Uncle Josh’ was hugely popular in his time, but now even the pluggers living in Punkin Center don’t know who he was.

@bats :[ (#113): Sweet Jesus, I wrote the previous comment before reading this. Does that Uncle Josh cylinder show signs of having been played A LOT?

[Old Man] Muffaroo
March 24th, 2011 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

@Effluvius Erratus (#139): An excellent summation. Some days, everybody gets called a plugger. “Pluggers take in oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide.” “Pluggers have weight and mass.” “Pluggers have ontogenic existence.”

@odinthor (#152): I can’t keep it in the bench, but I’m pretty sure I have Red Wing. I know I have the Spike Jones version of it, and an earlier 78 version, on my iPod.

@commodorejohn (#175): Super! It’s Haywire Mac — Come to think of it, I have this from the soundtrack to O Brother, Where Art Thou?!

McManx
March 24th, 2011 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

@Dood (#158): … outside his home, so says this tome.

Shrug
March 24th, 2011 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

@Effluvius Erratus (#139):

O.K., you’ve got my vote for comment of the week. (But my vote wouldn’t count for much, since I’m a Plugger myself and biased.)

Soccerhead
March 24th, 2011 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

FW: I do remember Quasar TVs and Chevy Novas, but I don’t know why Cody wants to name his kids after them.

bats :[
March 24th, 2011 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#175): and it’s a HOBO SONG, too!
Can Life be any sweeter?

Rocky Stoneaxe
March 24th, 2011 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#175):

Good one! Here’s “I Faw Down an’ Go Boom” from the same period:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLjkBOpkBTI

commodorejohn
March 24th, 2011 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#177): Fascinating. I’ve always been interested by music that’s fallen through the cracks in part due to never having been transferred from deprecated media – an album of Novachord recordings on 78, Randy Stonehill’s earlier albums that have never gotten a CD release, etc. Most of it the lost cylinder/78/whatever catalog might not be terribly missed, but you never know what lost gem you’ll find in a thrift store or somebody’s attic…

(#178): Yeah, O Brother was where my brothers and I first heard it – my dad remembered it from when he was a kid. My brother found a 78 for sale on discogs.com not long after we got a 1920 cabinet Victrola off Craigslist, so naturally we had to snap that up ;)

Shrug
March 24th, 2011 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

@odinthor (#152):

“@bats :[ (#113): Yes, indeed, there are lyrics. I actually have the sheet music for Kerry Mills’s Red Wing in my piano bench…”

The Wikipedia article on “Red Wing” that you linked to doesn’t note that its tune works for the army song quoted by T.S. Eliot and others:

“Oh, the moon shines bright on Mrs. Porter,
And on the daughter, of Mrs. Porter;
They wash their feet in soda water,
Which they oughter, to keep them clean.”

Or that Betty MacDonald’s 1940s book THE EGG AND I (about as Pluggerish a book as you might expect to find; for one thing it introduced Ma and Pa Kettle to the world), there is reference to a party getting out of hand when the men start singing “the dirty version of RED WING.”

So I’ll note these data for the record. (Or for the wax cylinder.)

Maggie the Cat
March 24th, 2011 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

@teenchy (#170):

Also, a non-plugger’s house does not smell like a greasy diner from a constant barrage of deep fried meals of tater tots and fried meats.

Frank Lee Meidere
March 24th, 2011 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

@teenchy (#170):
That’s good, teenchy. But how about a spin-off strip: “Plugger Geniuses”?

A Plugger Genius:

1. No longer tries to find Eisenhower’s name on the ballot.
2. Has successfully set the time on his Beta Max.
3. Converts all his 78s to cassettes.
4. Has learned how to use computers and is now running Windows 3.0 on his 386 PC.
5. Can find at least half of his regular programs six months after subscribing to cable TV.

sully
March 24th, 2011 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

Holy Shit on a stick!

Forgive me, but as neither ‘Funky What’shisname’ or ‘Yankshaft’ runs in my daily fish-wrap, it has taken me until now to realize that this Batiuk person has a credit on BOTH strips. So he is at least partly responsible for 2 of the most depressing, boring, tiresome, miserable comic strips in history? That is QUITE an accomplishment!

gnome de blog
March 24th, 2011 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

@Jasper (#159):
Dawn’s obsession with social networking meant that she was interacting with barbarians from outside of Charterstone. Taking painting lessons from Toby keeps her safely in the fold and insulated from heretical practices.

gnome de blog
March 24th, 2011 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

I seriously doubt if Ed Crankshaft has ever actually encountered the word “acrid” in his whole life, let alone knows what it means.

Uncle Lumpy
March 24th, 2011 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#184):

… music that’s fallen through the cracks in part due to never having been transferred from deprecated media …

So, you’re a Scopitone fan? Because few media have been quite so thoroughly deprecated!

Scott Bot
March 24th, 2011 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

@teenchy (#170): Owns a car made after Clinton was president.

Violet
March 24th, 2011 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

@Esther Blodgett (#26):

Right? I had that issue as well. I guess “that must mean he’s a real vampire” is somewhat more palatable than “I apparently possess the proportionate photojournalistic competence of a spider.”

Fashion Police
March 24th, 2011 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

We confess to being slightly miffed at not being invited to judge Miss Farrell’s beauty pageant. Although we seriously doubt we could bring ourselves to actually set foot inside Weenieworld, we have every confidence we could have managed via a closed-circuit television arrangement.

Since we have not been asked, we do not feel the need to maintain strict impartiality concerning the matter. We believe Miss Phelps is correct. Were she allowed to enter she would be the class of the field and would easily win. Certainly she has the most original and refreshing sense of style in all of the admittedly limited Pittsylvanian universe.

commodorejohn
March 24th, 2011 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

@Uncle Lumpy (#191): Ooh, there you go! Actually, the only Scopitone video I’ve seen was “A Whiter Shade of Pale,” and that was on Youtube.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 24th, 2011 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#176): mostly. I was thinking of the last line, which is slightly different.

Trey Le Parc
March 24th, 2011 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

Baka Gaijin: I dig alliteration, what can I say?

Maggie the Cat
March 24th, 2011 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

@Doctor Handsome (#82): @Jim North (#77): Stop defending Gasoline Alley. You know goddamn well it doesn’t make any fucking sense.

This made me almost die laughing.

[Old Man] Muffaroo
March 24th, 2011 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#182): I have one 78 of Frankie Wallace singing “I’m Riding the Blinds on a Train Headed West” with (I believe) “Bum Song #6″ on the other side. Except that Jack Kaufman sings the latter. Would they have done that? I should go look at my platters.

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#183): Ouch. This is the same recording as the one I have. It’s a head-smacker. I picked it up at archive.org, along with a few others by Billy Murray, and many by Billy Jones and Ernie Hare (best one: “Old King Tut,” though “You Tell Her, I Stutter” is incredible as well), and a number of “double-entendre party records” by Benny Bell and by Ben Light and His Surf Club Boys (I will recommend “She’s Gonna Get Her a Robot Man” and “The Full-Her Brush Man” — the rest by him, sadly, don’t measure up to these two, though one of the others has some casual racism at the end that left me at a loss).

Oh, and this rocks. It’s a 1915 humor record (by the son of the original Ko-Ko, as seen in Topsy Turvy), that’s STILL FUNNY.

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#196): Ah! Okay, I reach. Since there are few things more gauche than an attempted correction that fails, I hope you will pardon me.

Baka Gaijin
March 24th, 2011 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

@Trey Le Parc (#197): You dig alliteration and better dig up some goodies to toss from the float tomorrow! It won’t be a cliche encrusted crapfest I promise.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 24th, 2011 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#199): no worries. I didn’t have the lyric word perfect to begin with, but the intent was obvious, which is what matters. :-)

Rocky Stoneaxe
March 24th, 2011 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

@Uncle Lumpy (#191):

For a moment I thought you were talking about these:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soundies

Baka Gaijin
March 24th, 2011 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

Gasoline Alley: I don’t follow this strip. Does Clovia’s head always look like she just had an anvil fall on it? She’s sporting the anti-Pinhead.

Effluvius Erratus
March 24th, 2011 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

@Shrug (#180): So—you’re a Plugger if you’ll vote for someone who mentions Pluggers, even if it’s in criticism? [adds another datum to his wall chart]

This Guy
March 24th, 2011 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

@Esther Blodgett (#149): Not to burst your bubble, but everyone who tells that story swears it’s true. I haven’t seen any evidence of actual people so named, and there’d have to be a lot of them for all the retellings of that legend.

Gal Friday
March 24th, 2011 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

Thanks, mucho!

odinthor
March 24th, 2011 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#183): And I have that one in my piano bench, too. (Actually, um, in my sheet music cabinet; I have a rather large collection of 1890-1930 piano sheet music…)

Marthas Rolling Pin
March 24th, 2011 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

@odinthor (#207): A cultured group y’all are today! Those of y’all who are fond of the old scratchy stuff would probably enjoy a visit to musicyouwont.blogspot.com as well. (Sorry, my blue linky skills have failed me today)

Oh, and Uncle Josh (Josh Graves) is noted among bluegrass aficionados as being the first to attempt to bring the dobro into bluegrass. A bit ahead of his time, he had to fall back on his comic persona to actually sell any records.

Rocky Stoneaxe
March 24th, 2011 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#184), @Shrug (#185), @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#199), @odinthor (#207), @Marthas Rolling Pin (#208):

As Lee Falk always used to say: “Maaa-nooo-Maaaandraaake-maaaa-nuuuuuu!”

http://www.irazoo.com/ViewSite.aspx?q=nuuuuuu&Page=&irp=&Site=http://www.otrcat.com/mandrakethemagician-p-1581.html

Effluvius Erratus, Hipsteris Maximus...Pluggeris?
March 24th, 2011 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

Okay, I’ll admit I listen to 78s. That’s why I’m so freaked out by today’s Pluggers. I have Beethoven’s 5th Symphony on 78 (it’s about 10 disks long) and a Paul Robeson anthology. When my dad kicks it, I stand to inherit his Victorola and number of incredibly offensive (even for their time) Two Black Crows 78s, as well as some Frank Sinatra from the 30s and 40s.

commodorejohn
March 24th, 2011 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#209): Wow, that CD label is about 5,000 times more nicely drawn than the current Mandrake strip.

wossname
March 24th, 2011 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

@Shrug (#185): The “dirty” version of Red Wing is the only one I know. How I know it: When I was a wee girl in the 50s, my father had a record called (approximately) “Backroom [songs?] and Bawdy Ballads,” which was very risque for the time, and which my brother and I found delightfully adult and shocking once we were allowed to hear it.

The stuff that were supposed to be dirty about that version is very mild by today’s standards; what makes it offensive now is all the stupid jokes based on Native American stuff that was about as authentic as Tonto.

Sample lyrics (the only ones I remember):

Oh the sun shines down on pretty Red Wing
As she lies snoring, her life is boring
For no longer do the braves come whoring
They won’t pay the price of her promised land.

Oh wait… it’s coming back to me in bits…
“She had an idea grand
She’d fill it up with sand
To keep the boys from forbidden joys
In Red Wing’s promised land.”

See what I mean? ewww.

word-doctor
March 24th, 2011 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

FC-I know that this has been mentioned relative to teeth being loosened, but my impression was that Dolly was actually poking her finger down her throat

Vince M
March 24th, 2011 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#202): Oh yeah, I got a dvd Soundies collection called “Lullaby of Harlem” – great jazzy stuff, and Thelma Middleton’s dancing on two Louis Armstrong cuts alone is worth the price.

Dr. Weird
March 24th, 2011 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

@anty a (#153):

Whatever you could say about a Luann high school beauty pageant, it’s still light-years better than the ones people put on for little girls. Lord help us all if Marvin tries exploring the subject.

Stroker Ace
March 24th, 2011 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

Gasoline, Crank – Euthanasia. Now.

Joe Blevins
March 24th, 2011 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

Overabundance of time on your hands? Why not catch up on Ziggy’s zombified adventures? New ones posted every day.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 24th, 2011 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

@Dr. Weird (#215): o goddess, yes. JBR and that whole scene = major SQUICK.

Dr. Weird
March 24th, 2011 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

@Stroker Ace (#216):

Crankshaft says: “Why do I care about the youth in Asia? I have a hard enough time with the ones here!”

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 24th, 2011 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

@Dr. Weird (#219): Cranky could get hard with the asian youth back in the day, but not no mo. . . . .

zerowolf
March 24th, 2011 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

Zits: If anyone was to rear-end Jeremy, I figured it would be Hector.

Esther Blodgett
March 24th, 2011 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

@This Guy (#205): We’ll put it in the “if it’s not true, it should be” file.

The Ridger
March 24th, 2011 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#218): Have you seen “Little Miss Sunshine”? The pageant scene is great.

zerowolf
March 24th, 2011 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

9CL: Let’s see 10 months of the finger-banging Nazi plot line followed by 10 months of plugging the reprint of the finger-banging Nazi plot line?

zerowolf
March 24th, 2011 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

MW: If only Martin had taken Charlie kite flying.

Soccerhead
March 24th, 2011 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

170 teenchy:
Have fit, buff bodies, the result of eating lots of vegetables and daily physical activity.

JupiterPluvius
March 24th, 2011 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

CS: You say “heart attack,” I say “esophageal cancer.” Potato/potahto.

JupiterPluvius
March 24th, 2011 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

Also, “where Ed Crankshaft spits, nothing grows!”

Aviatrix
March 24th, 2011 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

@CanuckDownSouth (Y273): I love this. You’ve just defined my new official stance on vampiric restrictions. I’ll be explaining it to people in a way that makes them realize I’m just barely keeping the “how could be be an adult and not know this?” tinge out of my voice.

Sequitur
March 24th, 2011 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

Just dropped in but can’t stay long. I don’t know what’s going on but I saw the words “hobo song.”

Does this count?

Rocky Stoneaxe
March 24th, 2011 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

@Sequitur (#230):

Is “Le vagabond” the French-Canadian version of this TV show?

Aviatrix
March 24th, 2011 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

@Frank Lee Meidere (#141): C’mon, you know when you’re being a Plugger. The strips that require you to have a 1952 Valiant in the garage are just to give you plausible deniability when you are duct taping the seats back together in your 1992 Toyota.

Sequitur
March 24th, 2011 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#231): Si, ah er, oui.

Violet
March 24th, 2011 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

At first I was thinking, yeah, I don’t know that Abbey would understand much about not being paid attention, what with her vast fortune, vermillion mullet and, um, noteworthy proportions. But then I was like, oh yeah, loveless sham of a marriage. Maybe you should hear her out, Soph.

Sequitur
March 24th, 2011 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

@Violet (#234): All Sophie really wants is tits like Abbey. But Sophie’s adopted, SHE NOT A BLOOD RELATIVE TO ABBEY!

And her sister, Neddy, got all the tit genes.

agony
March 24th, 2011 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

@Sequitur (#230):

Ah, Canadian childhood memories – Cheesy, sentimental, and badly acted……

Back in the days of two B&W channels, this and The Forest Rangers were my favourite shows (though the theme song is from the 1970s version, I think, and not the original from when I was a kid)

Poteet
March 24th, 2011 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

PLUGGERS — I have some 78s in my basement, mostly opera and classical, that will probably get sold some day. They were picked up on a West Coast curb a few decades ago. But I don’t have any way of playing them.

Arrrgh, that probably makes me worse than a Plugger.

Sequitur
March 24th, 2011 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#237): I actually have an old turntable that will play 78’s. But I need to fix it first. I can fix it but I don’t have any incentive to do so. The only 78’s I now own is some Chinese opera. Really!

Harold
March 24th, 2011 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

What makes the 9CL advertising much more annoying is that I haven’t revised my Houston Chronicle personalized comics page in quite some time, so the slots for a few now-defunct strips default to the first strip on the list – meaning I have and extra two or three copies of this ad displayed on my page. Golly, I wonder how many copies of this book Mr. McEldowney expects to sell?

Morndew
March 24th, 2011 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

@jayjaybear (#95):
Ok, now I have to live with ‘hello my baby, hello my darling’, being sung by that frog (which always gave me the creeps-floppy legs and all).
Thanks. Thanks so much.
And that’s not even touching on the way I also feel old now-’cause I knew exactly what you were talking about right away.
You’re right about that *sigh*.

Sequitur
March 24th, 2011 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

@agony (#236): In the immortal words of Cheeh and Chong, “Parlez-vous a Humma Humma?

Rocky Stoneaxe
March 24th, 2011 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#209):

Just a reminder that you can listen to a MANDRAKE THE MAGICIAN radio show for free at the link I provided. Incidentally, Lothar is voiced by JACKSON BECK in that episode — the same actor who did Bluto in numerous Popeye cartoons. For more info on Beck’s career go to:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jackson_Beck

commodorejohn
March 24th, 2011 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

@Morndew (#240): Does knowing One Froggy Evening really make you that old? I saw it on TV several times as a child, even back before I was nerd enough to remember it because it’s basically the greatest thing ever.

This Guy
March 24th, 2011 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

@Morndew (#240): And the Wikipedia article on that song (actually called “Hello! Ma Baby”) has the first recording of it–from 1899, done on a wax cylinder. It all ties together!
(Fair warning: the sheet-music cover is fairly racist, and the song is identified as what they then called a “coon song.”)
@commodorejohn (#243): Hell, no. Everyone’s seen that short, just like everyone’s seen DUCK DODGERS IN THE TWENTY-FOURTH-AND-A-HALF CENTURY!

Sequitur
March 24th, 2011 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

HEY! You can look it up!

kkarenb
March 24th, 2011 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#243):
Greatest thing ever indeed. That is my favorite animated cartoon of all time.

Frank Lee Meidere
March 24th, 2011 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

@Sequitur (#230): That’s the cheesy remake — not the cheesy original, which aired back in the ’60s. Same song, but not, I think, sung quite as nicely as the original.

Sequitur
March 24th, 2011 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

@Frank Lee Meidere (#247): I do like the semi truck-trailer/train horn before it runs over the dog.

Poteet
March 24th, 2011 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

@Sequitur (#238): I absolutely believe you.

Poteet
March 24th, 2011 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

@Sequitur (#238): And I think that removes you from PLUGGER status.

Frank Lee Meidere
March 24th, 2011 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

@Sequitur (#248): Yeah. The original was much grittier. Went through a log of “Londons,” though.

Actually saw the trainer and one of his “Londons” back in the mid-seventies at a shopping mall putting on a demonstration. Damned smart dogs.

Sequitur
March 24th, 2011 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#250): Thank you, because it is true.

By the way, the Don Ameche look alike plugger who was looking for Reed Hoover. I did tell him where Reed lives but I forgot to tell him about Reed’s welding torch.

Yes, Mr. Hoover has a welding torch and he knows how to use it.

mdblanche
March 24th, 2011 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

Gasoline Alley: I don’t follow this strip. Is Walt Wallet still alive? Shouldn’t he be dead now, like every US WWI veteran at this point? Doesn’t this push the concept of legacy/zombie strips too far? Or is this just an acknowledgement that his presence comforts Gasoline Alley’s core audience to see someone slightly older than them still alive?

Hi & Lois: The wrens need a better security system for their house! They’re under seige by two much larger and much more agressive male cardinals no doubt there to destroy their nest. Perhaps that squirrel passing by will be a good Samaritan and help them out.

Rocky Stoneaxe
March 24th, 2011 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

Spider-Man — With the “Living Vampire” currently making an appearance in Spidey’s strip, can the “Living Mummy” be far behind?

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGT0cvmQNWpp4SdBcXnxndVhxOMOsLmPDS2DmeLX5mg7AcDSUgt9SRBYt3aYGVe9Z4vHmvCKEIZ-CMIPsioLldXn9e6JNA9F-oUvdR2ee-N0QkJAM0Nzb0YmRRDKPdhDTrKhlhS9WOToLD/s1600/Screen+shot+2010-06-10+at+7.43.13+PM.png

Sequitur
March 24th, 2011 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#250): You cannot imagine how much that relieves me.

Sequitur
March 25th, 2011 at 12:00 am [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#254): That has got to be the ultimate monster/spaz, zombiemummy.

mdblanche
March 25th, 2011 at 12:06 am [Reply]

@anty a (#153):
Well there’s your problem. You’re looking for signs of human progress in Luann.

Charles
March 25th, 2011 at 12:24 am [Reply]

@Esther Blodgett (#149): Boy, for the number of times I’ve heard that, half the population of the United States must have gone to school with those two.

[Old Man] Muffaroo
March 25th, 2011 at 12:29 am [Reply]

@agony (#236): My reaction precisely, but I checked the sidebar and found the 1963 “Littlest Hobo” opening music, though not the exciting action shots of the dog walking around. This might get those fragmentary versions of the theme I’ve had in my head since the late 60s a little more accurate, at least. Naturally, in my mind, the voice singing is deeper, but that’s the piano, all right.

I see Frank Lee Meidere has probably pointed to the exact same thing, but I’m going to hit “Post” anyway. I’m so lonely.

Sequitur
March 25th, 2011 at 12:29 am [Reply]

Abbey tits Abbey tits Abbey tits Abbey tits Abbey tits Abbey tits Abbey tits Abbey tits Abbey tits Abbey tits Abbey tits Abbey tits Abbey tits Abbey tits …

HEY ZIPPY!!!!

Huh?

GET OFF MY BLOG REPLY!!

Ooh, sorry.

Damn pinhead, Hmmmm… Abbey tits Abbey tits Abbey tits Abbey tits Abbey tits Abbey tits Abbey tits Abbey tits Abbey tits Abbey tits Abbey tits Abbey tits Abbey tits Abbey tits …”

Mordock999
March 25th, 2011 at 12:31 am [Reply]

@Little Guy (#37):

Re: Luann

“MOST Hated Character???”

You mean TJ or Elwood WEREN’T available??

________________

DEATH to TJ!!!

Maggie the Cat
March 25th, 2011 at 12:34 am [Reply]

@mdblanche (#253):

I think Walt should be about 105 now. What’s so unreasonable about that? He’s a member (okay, the only member left) of the Greatest Generation, he’s immortal!

Sequitur
March 25th, 2011 at 12:40 am [Reply]

@Maggie the Cat (#262): Actually, Walt is before The Greatest Generation. That would be Skeezix.

Hmmmm. I’m gonna have to rethink this “Greatest Generation” thing.

Maggie the Cat
March 25th, 2011 at 12:42 am [Reply]

@Sequitur (#263):

Then he’s a member of the Bestest Generation!

Sequitur
March 25th, 2011 at 12:47 am [Reply]

@Maggie the Cat (#264): And Slim is part of the Clownish Generation.

No, wait. That’s my generation. Rats.

Maggie the Cat
March 25th, 2011 at 12:48 am [Reply]

I’m a member of the Laziest Generation.

Uncle Lumpy
March 25th, 2011 at 12:49 am [Reply]

@Maggie the Cat (#262):

According to one of last year’s strips, Walt is 111 this month.

Sequitur
March 25th, 2011 at 12:53 am [Reply]

@Uncle Lumpy (#267): Okay. Then that should make him part of the dead generation.

Lisa
March 25th, 2011 at 12:53 am [Reply]

[In 1966 I knew a girl named Nova. She would have been christened sometime in the early ’50s, late ’40s — long before the “hippies” were enlivening the name pool. Admittedly “Quasar” is a tad unusual, but I certainly can’t talk.]

I’ll bet she was Hispanic or something back then… also Quasar was a brand of television set when I was growing up…

I was on a flight once with two unaccompanied minors who were flying ultimately to France. Their nametags said Starlight and Zodiac.

Sequitur
March 25th, 2011 at 12:56 am [Reply]

You know me as “Sequitur.” My real name is “Moonpie.”

Maggie the Cat
March 25th, 2011 at 1:00 am [Reply]

@Sequitur (#268): @Uncle Lumpy (#267):

I agree on “the Dead Generation”, LOL. He should have taken a dirt nap years ago!

Poteet
March 25th, 2011 at 1:15 am [Reply]

LUANN — Rosa Aragones? Have I forgotten who she is, or is she an actual *gasps and looks google-eyed* new character?? Either way, I’m betting she’ll win.

Poteet
March 25th, 2011 at 1:17 am [Reply]

FW — By the time this story is over, I’m going to hate the very concept of marriage-and-baby-care classes with a white-hot passion. I’m at orange-hot already.

Poteet
March 25th, 2011 at 1:28 am [Reply]

Phantom — But before he dies, let’s see them both with their shirts off, just to be fair. Also, I wish someone would explain those white-vapor things, because until someone does, I’m having a hard time thinking of anything except really sulfurous B.O. or possibly farts.

Mibbitmaker
March 25th, 2011 at 1:33 am [Reply]

Talkin’ ’bout my gen-er-a-tion…

Jason1981
March 25th, 2011 at 1:34 am [Reply]

JP: Don’t worry about what she has that you don’t, Sophie. I’m sure your problem can easily be solved by braiding a single strand of hair and some disco moves.

Jason1981
March 25th, 2011 at 1:36 am [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#254):

Whattaya mean “can the Living Mummy” be far behind? Aunt May already HAD her story arc.

ElkMeadow
March 25th, 2011 at 2:08 am [Reply]

@Poteet (#272):

I haven’t even seen the strip and I agree that she’s going to win. Any why aren’t there any rules for this pagent (like ages), where Ms. Phelps thought she could enter, and Toni didn’t think she could?

This Guy
March 25th, 2011 at 3:02 am [Reply]

As a WWI vet born in 1900, Walt is part of the Lost Generation, which is funny (not ha-ha) because we haven’t managed to lose him yet.

John C Fremont
March 25th, 2011 at 6:12 am [Reply]

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m part of the Pepsi Generation. And my real name is Mr. Earl. Everyone also knows me as Nancy, but that’s beside the point.

@Aviatrix (#232): I don’t think that Plymouth made the Valiant as far back as 1952. But if you meant a ‘52 Vickers Valiant, well that would be just plain awesome! Also, non-Pluggery. You’d need a heck of a garage, though.

teenchy
March 25th, 2011 at 6:41 am [Reply]

@This Guy (#279): Walt Wallet, Frank Buckles – same guy?

Écureuil Écumant
March 25th, 2011 at 6:46 am [Reply]

MT: I feel Otto’s pain, if it’s been so long since he’s been with a woman that all she has to do is touch his skin. Still, not in front of the kid, OK Otto?

Chyron HR
March 25th, 2011 at 6:51 am [Reply]

Judge Parker – Just based on her stage name, I can think of something “Honey Ballenger” has that Sophie probably lacks.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 25th, 2011 at 7:39 am [Reply]

Frazz: that’s more menace than a fortnight of Dennis.

A&J: *gigglez*

CdS: Baka Gaijin’s Personal Nightmare Week continues.

IP: *fliptake*

Lio: unfortunate implications there . . . .

NAoQV: well played!

OtH: more Baka Gaijin Nightmare Fuel.

R&R: Labs are smart dogs.

Bizarro: old joke is old.

GA: dood. 15 minutes, in and out. no wonder that garage isn’t busy.

GT: nice joke, nice message. what strip is this again?

JP: “BOOBIES!!!!”

JUMBLE: “draft dodging” totally doesn’t fit. :-(

MG&G: I lol’d. please, just shoot me.

PBS: *sad trumpet*

SB: d’awwwww.

Zits: “m’kay?”

standard snarpologies.

Ned Ryerson
March 25th, 2011 at 7:52 am [Reply]

RE: Zits
I saw a segment on my local news last night about the Zits strip as part of a public awareness campaign aimed at teens to curb texting while driving.

Mordock999
March 25th, 2011 at 8:16 am [Reply]

@Poteet (#274): @Poteet (#272):

Rosa was character briefly introduced several years ago as a “love interest” for Gunther, of all people. She was around sporadically, for about six months, then promptly disappeared.

What would REALLY be WILD is if they opened the contest up to guys and Gunth, Knute and Quill entered.
It would be interesting see if that “inner beauty” stuff applies to Gunther….,

__________________
DEATH to TJ!!!

Hipsteris Maximus Pluggeris
March 25th, 2011 at 8:23 am [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#284): For you … wait for it, wait for it…

Chip Whittle
March 25th, 2011 at 8:27 am [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#242):
ust a reminder that you can listen to a MANDRAKE THE MAGICIAN radio show for free at the link I provided. Incidentally, Lothar is voiced by JACKSON BECK in that episode — the same actor who did Bluto in numerous Popeye cartoons.

Jackson Beck also appears in the Mark Trail radio series, playing…oh, I forget now, but I’m guessing some kind of French-Canadian trapper who helps out Mark by stumbling into traps along with a pre-Rusty idiot child unit as they foil poachers.

It should be pointed out for people who aren’t old time radio fans that from 1938 through 1956 it was required by the FCC that Jackson Beck appear in everything, so once you’re tuned to listening for Bluto you hear him all over the place, sometimes as the good guy.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 25th, 2011 at 8:31 am [Reply]

win-gardium legosium.

One for the ladies. (SFW)

For the Didactic Duo. (more clever than funny.) And a fail for them as well.

Mortal McCombat. (not safe for Baka Gaijin.)

monorail panda.

for True Fable.

The Daily Puppy is a bullpugle. (sad eyes alert.)

corgsqui.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 25th, 2011 at 8:32 am [Reply]

@Hipsteris Maximus Pluggeris (#287): SQWEEEEE!!

Calvin\'s Cardboard Box
March 25th, 2011 at 8:38 am [Reply]

@Poteet (#272):

I just hope for her sake she isn’t wearing a red shirt.

“Ok, for the landing party, we will take myself, Spock, McCoy, Scotty, and Specialist Aragones. I understand that the natives are supposed to be peaceful!”

Rocky Stoneaxe
March 25th, 2011 at 8:40 am [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#232), @John C Fremont (#280):

I’d certainly be impressed if a Plugger had one of these in his garage:

http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/0906/1948-tucker-torpedo-demotivational-poster-1245340113.jpg

Brick Bradford
March 25th, 2011 at 8:51 am [Reply]

Here is a phrase I never thought I’d use in this lifetime: Isn’t the art in Dick Tracy great?

Mibbitmaker
March 25th, 2011 at 8:54 am [Reply]

@Brick Bradford (#293): You would if this were the 1940s-50s.

CanuckDownSouth
March 25th, 2011 at 8:59 am [Reply]

FW: Maybe this family class will be useful if Geek Guy learns the difference between inventory value, revenue and profits. His level of career awareness would be improved by playing The Game of Life or Go For It even once. (How often does he think a comic store makes a major sale? And wouldn’t Action#1 get handled by a major auction house?)

Kinghasnoclothes
March 25th, 2011 at 9:02 am [Reply]

I don’t think today’s high school seniors are into “golden age” comic book values. Obviously a 40-year-old virgin has sneaked into that class.

CanuckDownSouth
March 25th, 2011 at 9:03 am [Reply]

FW – actually, this could be entertaining if the teacher is required to give them realistic scenarios for their career paths. This being Westview, the imaginary couple are living in his parents’ basement and getting cancer from the radon. Then while they’re play-acting their chemo treatments, they’ll be told that the babies have been eating lead paint chips and they’ll have to play-act testing and applying for a special school…

word-doctor
March 25th, 2011 at 9:04 am [Reply]

I have to post early, as I don’t think the judge will allow me to snark from the jury box.

R&R-Love the strip, especially now that I know that Red’s mom is Flo.

BB-Beetle’s fatigue cap looks EXACTLY the same as it would if Marvin ate, digested, and shat it.

MT-”Hmm… distract the guards with her proven feminine wiles, or punch? Better ask a raccoon or pelican.”

Spunde
March 25th, 2011 at 9:17 am [Reply]

I don’t see a problem with Walt Wallet being alive. It’s not like he’s crowding out younger, more interesting characters. And isn’t Sherlock Holmes still puttering about with bees in Sussex?

[Old Man] Muffaroo
March 25th, 2011 at 9:19 am [Reply]

Dick – No doubt Fly-Face’s associate writes for the Washington Times. In that suit and hat, he looks like a Fifth Columnist.

Smirky – What a city! In Westview, even comics are slabbed!

Luann – “Rosa Aragones”? Stop the presses! There’s another actual student at that school! That means there are… let’s see… six girls, and… four guys, right? At least until Luann wishes Quill under the cornfield.

Rocky Stoneaxe
March 25th, 2011 at 9:22 am [Reply]

@Kinghasnoclothes (#296):

Obviously a 40-year-old virgin has sneaked into that class.

That’s what she said!

Maggie the Cat
March 25th, 2011 at 9:24 am [Reply]

@teenchy (#281):

Nope, b/c Frank Buckles died. Walt Wallet is immortal.

[Old Man] Muffaroo
March 25th, 2011 at 9:26 am [Reply]

We’ve been jumped!

EvilSocks
March 25th, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]

@CanuckDownSouth (#295): I would say that such an attitude would demonstrate that he hasn’t actually set foot in a comic store, as it is only my non-comics relatives who seem to think I could make money from my comic collection/it is possible to make money off of a current comic collection. Or Funkyverse is full of mint copies of Golden Age comics.

Vince M
March 25th, 2011 at 9:42 am [Reply]

@John C Fremont (#280): I’ve always wanted an early Plymouth Valiant (1960-1976) – good mix of practicality, cool style, and durability – but not if it means being a Plugger-wannabe.

YoMAMA
March 25th, 2011 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

What Clovia is actually horrified at is what’s off-screen : the man has come around to her side of the reception desk, after taking out his ‘little hobo’ through the front of his trousers

Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
March 25th, 2011 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

I know I’ve been post-jumped, but I just have to say that Annoying Pun Guy is not all that far from the sorts of odd people one encounters in the process of doing historical research. If it’s not the ones leaning over your shoulder and saying, “Gee! That’s old!” it’s the ones who want to tell you all kinds of random personal family stories on unrelated topics. At least Pun Guy is aware that he’s being a bit annoying.

aprilglaspie
March 25th, 2011 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

He’s had that acrid flatulence for years.

Liam
March 26th, 2011 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

I am disturbed by the way Dolly’s finger is going into her mouth in the first panel. It looks like she is miming a blow job.

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