SORRY everybody, for being mildly COTW flaky. But your comment of the week is now here!
“Oh man, Funky’s right! Two women in love with Les? Game changer! Wait, how did he react? Stare at them blankly and then spiral into a mopey, self-centered depression? Oh, never mind. This is still the ‘no one cares’ game.” –Tophat
And your runners up! Also very funny
“You have responsibilities, John. You can’t just stay up here watching the sunrise, writing about animals, and carving giant altars to the Goat Demon Baphomet.” –Dan
“I think the current Funky Winkerbean storyline is intended to be a sort of It Gets Better project for dorky teenage guys who are bad with women. In the future, you’ll be doing the rejecting! Of course, the actual It Gets Better project is supposed to stop people from committing suicide, not drive them to it.” –ratnerstar
“Just wait until Momma starts buying post-midnight radio ads that feature a voice saying, ‘Francis, God can see you masturbating right now.’” –un malpaso
“I was wondering, why 75 years? So Momma has considered that her son would be attracted to someone, say, 74 years old, lounging in a bikini on the beach? Then I recalled the disturbing relationship between Momma and Francis and I died a little inside.” –StoutHearted
“Vodka shooters? What the hell are those? Jesus, doesn’t anyone use mason jars anymore?” –Doctor Handsome
Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:
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This entry was posted on Saturday, June 11, 2011 at 12:00 pm and is filed under metaposts. | 100 responses to “” Baka GaijinJune 11th, 2011 at 12:09 pm [Reply]
Congrats Floaters and did anyone else noticing Janis brushing her pussy today?
Maggie the CatJune 11th, 2011 at 12:12 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#1): LOL²… not what I was expecting to read, but very chuckleworthy nonetheless. Now off to A&J to see Janis’ personal grooming methods.
Maggie the CatJune 11th, 2011 at 12:14 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#1): You got me! *Mind in gutter!*
bourbon babe, unbuckledJune 11th, 2011 at 12:16 pm [Reply]
MW: “And by ‘confused,’ I mean ‘out of her fucking mind’—and by ‘delicate matters,’ I mean ‘what caliber firearm do I need to take the bitch out?’”
MT: Thought-balloon goatkebabs are what keep me coming back to this strip.
bourbon babe, unbuckledJune 11th, 2011 at 12:21 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#4): I mean “speech balloons”; do thought balloons even exist in this strip?
@Baka Gaijin (#y292): When I first read your comment, I read “goat” instead of “Josh” and thought you were referring to today’s MT. And wouldn’t it make sense that in Elrodian theology, critters would get raptured up on speech balloons?
Congrats to the Float-folk!
Mark BJune 11th, 2011 at 12:24 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#5): One of Mark Trail’s better qualities is that he never has an unspoken thought. Even when he’s alone, he says what he’s thinking out loud. Or maybe Elrod never figured out how to use the thought-balloon thingy.
commodorejohnJune 11th, 2011 at 12:32 pm [Reply]
6Chix – Insert “meat” joke here.
Agnes – Hey, that’s even better than the pitch they use at my workplace! [*]
A3G – Iris is going to put in a good word for them with the Mafia? YES.
Curtis – Curtis, it’s time to invoke the nuclear option: call in Mary Worth!
DT – Yes, this makes perfect sense and is totally how stunt doubling works. OBVIOUSLY.
FW – Hey, Funkster? If you wanted to fall off the wagon and deliver a drunken beatdown to someone, I have a very relevant suggestion.
Garfield – Ha ha what a funny joke this is highly amusing.
JP – “How could I have screwed this up so badly?” I don’t know, Emma, but don’t ask that around the Parkerville crowd or you’ll wind up with Sam giving you a lengthy sermon on accepting Business Plan into your life.
Luann – This is the part where you throw her out onto the lawn and tell her to find an apartment, Frank.
MT – “Now there’s something you don’t see every day, Chauncey.” “What’s that, Edgar?” “A flying goat with a word-balloon tail for a-” “I don’t know, Edgar, even we never pushed the envelope quite that far.”
MW – I never thought I’d see such stunning understatement from a comic as ridiculously unsubtle as Mary Worth, but “confused?” Really!?
OBH – I still don’t see how this is supposed to make me want to buy Coppertone.
Popeye – Now the penis-monster wants to be smacked? Dear God.
RMMD – Come on, come on, please let this be Brook applying for the job! Please!!!
DiggerJune 11th, 2011 at 12:45 pm [Reply]
MT: Well, the flying goat is on the case now, so this thing should be solved in no time.
MW: The answer to Drew’s problem is literally staring him in the face. All he has to do is sic Mary on Liza, and that should scare her off permanently.
Bill ThompsonJune 11th, 2011 at 12:52 pm [Reply]
Luann: There’s a remarkable comment on the Gocomics forum. Luann is a typical teenager. She has a typical family. They lead typical lives in this economy. She’s typical, dagnabit, and the American/Canadian educational system is failing because it doesn’t recognize the millions of Luanns and their efforts! Millions of them! They’re leaving Santa Mira by the truckload! You’re next!
Maggie the CatJune 11th, 2011 at 1:10 pm [Reply]
@Mark B (#6): True. Mark Trail was born without the ability to have inner dialogue. Every thought is broadcast outloud, from “Did that elderly lady in the cereal aisle just break wind?” to “Good God! Cherry wants me to insert my manhood INSIDE HER FEMALE GENITALIA??“.
It can sometimes be awkward for Mark.
Baka GaijinJune 11th, 2011 at 1:12 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#5): Damn, a goat rapture would fit that panel. Why didn’t I see that?
TheDivaJune 11th, 2011 at 1:14 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#11): Goat Rapture would be an awesome name for a band.
Baka GaijinJune 11th, 2011 at 1:14 pm [Reply]
@TheDiva (#12): True Fable’s favorite band!
bats :[June 11th, 2011 at 1:20 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#1): and her pussy really liked it, too!
(BTW, that flyin’ goat is right up there (ahem) with Elrod’s tornado cows. Non-aerodynamic creatures made aerodynamic…does it get any better?)
AnonymousJune 11th, 2011 at 1:20 pm [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#Y169): I was trying to figure out how the headline “” could have triggered the ads I’m seeing for Mature Singles, Christian Singles, Axe Body Spray, and Russian Love Match. Maybe those are just the default go-to ads? Then I hit upon the disturbing possibility that they were triggered by the COTWs regarding Momma.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 11th, 2011 at 1:32 pm [Reply]
@ArchieNemesis (#y313):
given that Sheila Roo is a Kangaroo AND an Aussie, my money is on her over the Furry Confusion Foursome. (Pluggers know how to kick ankle biters, whether four OR two-legged!)
KarMannJune 11th, 2011 at 1:33 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#14): No, it doesn’t.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 11th, 2011 at 1:37 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#7): re DT: look at the bright side. With Liz in a “two sizes too small” costume, getting chased by bad guys, we have the potential for Doupleup to proclaim: “you haven’t captured them, you’ve captured their stunt doubles! stunt doubles!”
and there would be much rejoicing.
if Pluggers are half man and half dog, are they their own best friends? *ponders*
commodorejohnJune 11th, 2011 at 1:39 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#18): That’s what I’m hoping for, but we’ll see.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 11th, 2011 at 1:39 pm [Reply]
@KarMann (#17): Yes it is!.
bourbon babe, unbuckledJune 11th, 2011 at 1:54 pm [Reply]
@Maggie the Cat (#10):
It can sometimes be awkward for Mark.
But Mark is immune to awkwardness; awkwardness rolls off him like water off a giant, inaccurately colored duck’s back. Mark is an island of blissful unawareness in a world in which people feel self-conscious, uncomfortable, and guilty; he walks through life in a shell of self-contained certitude as impervious and glossy as his spit curl. While others blush, Mark bolds; while others squirm, Mark punches.
And while others dwell upon their various faux pas and missteps, Mark eats pancakes.
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 11th, 2011 at 2:08 pm [Reply]
DtM: Better not give Mr. Wilson too much shit about his chrome dome there, Dennis. The Hair Fairy doesn’t DNA-test donations and frankly isn’t too particular about where his sources acquire product.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 11th, 2011 at 2:16 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#21): that has float potential. *applaz*
ApemanJune 11th, 2011 at 2:35 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#21): Can something posted on the thread about the comment of the week be eligible for next week’s COTW? I think we have a contendah here.
JesseBakerJune 11th, 2011 at 3:03 pm [Reply]
Mark Trail: So Mustache Guy’s going to get busted by his own stupidity as far as buying the shoes from a store in town? That is one way to wrap up the storyline, as far as Mark Trail returning to find his sheriff friend having locked up his son for the crimes.
I guess it would be asking too much to have the dad cover up his son and give us a summer/fall storyline of Mark trying to keep the Sheriff from busting the mountain man simply because the sheriff wants to protect his mustachioed son as far as covering up his son’s crimes under the logic that he wants to protect his son from going to jail….
Mary Worth: Mary’s last line makes me think we are going to get an epic meddling as far as Mary treating Liz as a confused idiot who has to have the meddling done in an insulting “you be stupid so I’ll talk to you like you are a 4 year old” manner that makes Liz even crazier in terms of her lashing out at Drew for his rejection of her advances.
ArchieNemesisJune 11th, 2011 at 3:10 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#16): I’d like to switch my bet to the kangaroo, in that case. Love the way they play it cool, and then sneak in a knockout kick. Much like Mark Trail, as perfectly summarized by bourbon babe in #21.
True FableJune 11th, 2011 at 3:23 pm [Reply]
GOAT! GOAT!!!! Goddamn FLYING GOAT!!!
My day is complete, thank you.
Artist formerly known as BenJune 11th, 2011 at 3:38 pm [Reply]
Congratulations to Tophat (whose game-changing comment I had missed before) and the other floatees. Loved un malpaso’s too.
And some Saturday comixes.
SFx: Okay, so this is “Find the Led Zeppelin song title”? Okay, I see “Black Dog”, “Fool in the Rain”, “The Rain Song”, “In the Evening”, “When the Levee Breaks”, and the two kids look “Dazed and Confused.”
9CL: Hey, wouldn’t it be crazy if the next installment showed the choreographer gawking at them and saying “That kiss wasn’t in the moves we rehearsed.” I mean, who would see that coming, right?
S-M: “You know, Parker, I think I might let Jonah fire you if you weren’t so damn pretty.”
Popeye: Yeah, I’m pretty well dumbstruck at this point.
Shoe: Has Skyler reached puberty yet? If so I’m sure he already knows what it feels like to beat something.
OBH: He always wanted to be in a Coppertone ad and this is as much of a chance as he’s gotten.
DtM: “Go away, kid. I’m trying to teach myself Hindi here.”
DT: The new creative time promised more action, and I’m pretty sure Lizz Grove taping down her boobs counts.
6C: “From now on yours is the only sausage I’ll…” You can see where I’m going with this.
MW: You can tell that Mary’s thinking about Aldo now, since she’s running a finger over her own mustache.
Artist formerly known as BenJune 11th, 2011 at 3:39 pm [Reply]
@True Fable (#27): Check out Wizard of Id too. Better drawn than you might expect.
Steve the PocketJune 11th, 2011 at 3:45 pm [Reply]
Baldo: Between yesterday’s and today’s entries, shouldn’t this be the “Signs You’re Too Easy to Please” list?
Between Friends: I have to admit. A story arc in a comic strip that ends with a real resolution rather than some shaggy-dog ending, without any of the main characters coming off as assholes… that’s pretty rare. I still don’t like this comic much, but we’re definitely better off than we were with Cathy.
Mother Goose and Grimm: You have no idea what that even means, do you? Because I do, and the joke makes no sense. (What’s odd is that he should know what it means unless he actually still sends in his strips as photocopies by snail mail.
Six Chix: The editors made her change it from “meat product” due to a number of disturbing implications. Also, I’m just now noticing that this particular artist’s style looks remarkably like a simplified version of Hark, a Vagrant!
Sally Forth: Well, if you can actually remember the shape of Austria-Hungary, you’ve got a better handle on historical geography than most people.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 11th, 2011 at 3:59 pm [Reply]
@Steve the Pocket (#30): the Saturday Chix is Stephanie Piro.
Jamus The BartenderJune 11th, 2011 at 4:09 pm [Reply]
Luann: “The pageant was a big event in my life, Dad. I want to show off my achievement. I can look back on a life of achievement, challenges met, enemies bested….what is it that makes a girl, Dad? Strong girls also cry, Dad. Strong girls…also cry.”
Jamus The BartenderJune 11th, 2011 at 4:11 pm [Reply]
Luann, again: “Also, it really ties the room together.”
Jamus The BartenderJune 11th, 2011 at 4:14 pm [Reply]
Pluggers: “Also, isn’t that Cynthia’s dog up ahead. She’s a show dog, you know. Can’t keep it in a kennel, it’s not taking your turn, Dude. Fucking dog has fucking papers….”
KarMannJune 11th, 2011 at 4:15 pm [Reply]
@Steve the Pocket (#30) on BF: That’s OK, we’ve got Reply All now to take up the complete-crap slack now that Cathy’s gone. Between Friends is now allowed to have its occasional moments of non-suckitude.
Jamus The BartenderJune 11th, 2011 at 4:18 pm [Reply]
FW: “Well, Funky, there’s a lot of ins, a lot of outs, a lotta what-have-yous…certain shit has come to light, man….”
Maggie the CatJune 11th, 2011 at 4:25 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#21): You’re so right! Maybe I should rephrase it as “Mark sometimes makes others feel awkward”.
Maggie the CatJune 11th, 2011 at 4:28 pm [Reply]
FW- Geez… Les is such a cockmunch.
SpundeJune 11th, 2011 at 4:49 pm [Reply]
FW: Sure, Funky says, “It’s a good thing what you did to those women, Les. A very good thing.” But he’s thinking, “Would the cornfield really be so bad?”
carbunicleJune 11th, 2011 at 5:28 pm [Reply]
@Maggie the Cat (#10): Nothing is awkward for Mark, only for those around him. Maybe.
bourbon babe, unbuckledJune 11th, 2011 at 6:07 pm [Reply]
If any of you have wondered what ever became of the Mole Man, he’s apparently alive and well and living in a courtyard in Le Marais, in Paris.
Some GuyJune 11th, 2011 at 6:09 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#1): Paging Mrs Slocombe…
Congrats to all!
Esther BlodgettJune 11th, 2011 at 6:10 pm [Reply]
@Maggie the Cat (#38): Excellent summation.
Walker of DogJune 11th, 2011 at 6:13 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#Y295) & @Terry in Maryland (#Y293): Plugger sheriffs don’t need fingerprint matching, DNA analysis, or any other newfangled technology, as long as they can rely on good old-fashioned racial profiling.
Congratulations to all the riders of float. un malpaso, your entry is still cracking me up.
LiamJune 11th, 2011 at 7:29 pm [Reply]
Dennis the Menace-I just love the look Mr. Wilson is giving Dennis. You just know that he is contemplating smacking Dennis with the book.
Mary Worth-”Delicate matter,” Mary says as she is contemplating which club to use to knock sense into Liza.
Artist formerly known as BenJune 11th, 2011 at 7:42 pm [Reply]
@Walker of Dog (#44): But how does that help the sheriff? Doesn’t racial profiling require the presence of more than one race?
Artist formerly known as BenJune 11th, 2011 at 7:45 pm [Reply]
There may be a few more ‘mudges deserving of recognition this week. Ergo, the hot dog float.
—————————————————————————————————————————————————
JP: Oh, man. If only Emma St John had bought her shoes from Jules! She wouldn’t be falling off the roof now, she’d just be (still) threatening to jump. Well, perhaps the judge will leap to save her and they’ll both go over, leaving one lone, forlorn heel on the rooftop. Sam can pick it up and cradle it in his hands and realize that designing women’s shoes is a worthy life-goal after all…—The Ridger
Crankshaft: “Well, back when I played triple-A ball, we did a few exhibition games to raise money for the IRA…what? They’re not terrorists if they’re white, dammit!”—Effluvius Erratus
Spiderman often confounds readers by his chronic lack of action, but this is only because his origin story was bungled in the telling. Turns out he was actually bitten by a radioactive spider plant. He now has the ability to take root instantly, and his special “spider plant sense” keeps him unaware of anything going on around him.—Frank Lee Meidere
I don’t know how good of a spy Dennis is — apparently is mouth was aligned with the fence holes, but his eyes were not.
I refuse to speculate further.—Wazmo
Phantom: “Maybe I can stop the bleeding by digging around in my wound with a sharp knife! Wait…that might cut me more. A dull knife then!”—Effluvius Erratus
One-Eyed Trouser Snake Sailor: What a coincidence. My Congressman just tweeted me a picture of an Oid the other day.—The Spectacular Spider-Brick
MW: Damn, check out Drew’s power walk! When he walks away from a relationship, you know that boy be walking AWAY. There must be easier ways to get rid of Liza, although none that tone and shape so well. Paul Simon’s advice isn’t working either: Slip out the back, Jack. Dye your hair blue, Drew. Nope, didn’t work a bit.—MaryAnnTheRest
FW: Les, you don’t get it do you. The way you handled this situation you now have no girls. Problem solved. Now get on with your whiny life. Or not.—Sequitur
MW: And what happened, then? Well, in Whoville they say
That Liza’s left arm grew two elbows that day.—Walker of Dog
9CL: How many months have been watching Seth look annoyed while Fernanda slinks around the stage? I can’t remember that far back. I keep trying to develop a back story for the dance they’re doing. All I can imagine is that Fernanda’s character’s friends bet her that she wouldn’t be able to seduce the pissy-looking gay guy at the table across the room.—Cloudbuster
MW: it would have more impressive if Mary had appeared in a puff of smoke brandishing a pitch fork but well you take what you can get.—Professor Fate
S-M: Even trying to look slightly lecherous, Peter Parker appears ready for a quick nap.—trey le parc
H&J: Did Herb and Jamaal just leave their own restaurant – where they could drink coffee for free – to go to “Java Hut” (where’s that missing “the”?) and purchase overpriced coffee? No wonder they look so glum: they’ve realized that not only are they too dumb to solve anybody’s problems, but their unattended restaurant is likely being burglarized at that very moment.—Esther Blodgett
Shoe: Ah, the sharp, witty, political gags of the 1920 Presidential Election.—Chip Whittle
BB: I haven’t seen someone so into cartoon nudity like Mort Walker since “Fritz the Cat”.—JudoThrowToy
daleJune 11th, 2011 at 7:58 pm [Reply]
MT -
Ok, Sheriff. Send your investigative staff of just you to check out:
1. Ye Olde Moccasin Shoppe
2. MokASinMoFos. It’s new in town. Also carries cheap electronic goods and exotic looking smoking accessories.
June 11th, 2011 at 8:10 pm [Reply]
9 – Still picture across panel borders, check. People reaching outside the box, check. Endless silent pictures representing dancing, check. Implied sex, check.
“In his little box of stage-properties he kept six or eight cunning devices, tricks, artifices … and he was never so happy as when he was working these innocent things and seeing them go.” [Mark Twain, "Fenimore Cooper's Literary Offenses"]
Pluggers – Pluggers know the names of every dog in the neighborhood. Tramps.
@Some Guy (#y310): It was the apotheosis of Marvel’s Dance of the Infinite Number of Veils. The cover was something like “In this issue — the Senses-Shattering Secret of the Hobgoblin… REVEALED! In easy-to-understand graphic images, we will ONCE and FOR ALL TIME explicate and make clear the INCREDIBLE SOLUTION to this PUZZLING MYSTERY!!!!!” So I picked it up and leafed through, and at the end, our hero is chasing the HG through a sewer, and it starts getting kind of foggy, and he makes a grab, and… he’s holding a mask. A mask! “HOLY CRAPPING PANCAKES!” Spidey gasps, “The Hobgoblin was… somebody… WEARING… a… MASK!!!!”
And with that, my chain could withstand no more. It had been pulled once too often. It didn’t even squeak any more. I put the issue back on the stand and went out into the fresh air and sunshine.
seismic-2June 11th, 2011 at 8:57 pm [Reply]
@True Fable (#27):
GOAT! GOAT!!!! Goddamn FLYING GOAT!!!
My day is complete, thank you.
Great, now have a beer and celebrate.
bats :[June 11th, 2011 at 10:15 pm [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#47): This wasn’t the week when you had Rep. Weiner scheduled to be riding on your float?
Not Greg EvansJune 11th, 2011 at 10:30 pm [Reply]
6/11/11 Mark Trail: WTF?!
Artist formerly known as BenJune 11th, 2011 at 11:11 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#51): You know, I’m trying to think of some Weiner puns that haven’t already been used, but nothing’s coming up. It’s too hard!
Pseudo3DJune 11th, 2011 at 11:25 pm [Reply]
I’d like to share some of the best COTWs (to me)
“Not to mention weeks of the villian repeating the last phrase he says in every panel! Every panel!” – Anon, referring to the introduction of Doubleup in Dick Tracy
“A thrilling interpretive dance about a man who’s been waiting fifteen minutes for his goddamn breadsticks!” – TheDiva, on 9CL
“No more questions… No more answers
It’s time for a major character to die of multiple cancers” – One-Eyed Wolfdog, in a parody off of Crankshaft and the Funkiverse
“The comics page has now seen the phrase “the anus of a sea cucumber.” God damn if that couldn’t be worked into some interesting conversations!” – commodorejohn, on Ripley’s Believe It or Not
“One comic I can’t get enough is Crock. The dazzling art stylings and delicious humor keeps me laughing and in awe for hours! And the plot lines are so well constructed that had Earnest Hemmingway and John Steinbeck been able to study Crock they would have become more than the hack writers they were. Yes indeed. If there were only one comic strip available, Crock inwould be most adequite for all the needs one has in a comic strip. Not only is Crock most welcome on my comedy table, it is fun and relevent for the entire family. Crock! The only comic you’ll ever need.
~~Mr. Rechin, will you please release my family now?~~” – Sequitur, on favorite comic strips
Bill ThompsonJune 12th, 2011 at 12:36 am [Reply]
Mark Trail: Lady Bird Johnson thanks the Jackelrodball for delivering her message. “Please, please, don’t be a litterbug, because every litter-bit hurts!” I’m awed by the litterbugs in this strip. One of them is riding in a car even a Plugger would call old, yet it looks brand new. The other is throwing out more stuff than he could have packed in. “Hey, hey, LBJ, how much trash did you pick today?”
Crankshat: My first reaction was “Batiuk must have lost big in Vegas.” Then, in a forlorn effort to find some humor in this strip, I googled Gehry and Vegas. The target of Batiuk’s artistique wrath is the “Cleveland Clinic Lou Ruvo Center for Brain Health.” No wonder Batiuk is upset. Brain health is one of the three biggest threats to his career, the other two being a cure for cancer and good eyesight.
The Amusing Spiderman: When nothing happens here, it takes an entire Sunday strip to let us know.
The problem is not that Les couldn’t read the signs as a kid. The problem is that he’s Les.
bats :[June 12th, 2011 at 12:38 am [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#53): I, for one, applaud your ingenuity. I never sausage a float as yours!
Mr. O'MalleyJune 12th, 2011 at 12:48 am [Reply]
@bats :[ (#56): Frankly, it’s hard to tell which of you is wurst.
MibbitmakerJune 12th, 2011 at 1:05 am [Reply]
Big Time Oversnarpologies if needed (the worse Josh’s timing gets, the even worse mine does). Saturday strips, that is….
FW: “It started with the first time jump….”
GT: In the last panel, of course!
H&J: “Ma! Curtis hugged me for no reason!”
MT: Goat: “Hey, True Fable! Look at meeeeee!”
MW: Delicate matters? You mean the way you SO DELICATELY handled it when Aldo was the stalker? Yeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaa…!
Popeye: Oh, great, they’re masochists, too! Stretchy, phallic masochists.
R=R: That deep-voiced kid from King of the Hill: “Animals suck.”
6C: “Yeah, good for you. I’m going to get a burger….”
MibbitmakerJune 12th, 2011 at 1:10 am [Reply]
Saturday’s HotC: Comic books have no place in the classroom? Really? Even those Popeye ones, on careers, that do, in fact, exist in classrooms? One on public service that has president…… Nixon….. on….. it………………. Man, I’m gettin’ old! (btw, beware: the nice George Wildman cover art hides mediocre Tony Tallarico internal art. Don’t be fooled!)
Maggie the CatJune 12th, 2011 at 1:46 am [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#53): You know, I’m trying to think of some Weiner puns that haven’t already been used, but nothing’s coming up. It’s too hard!
It DID appear hard, IMO.
Maggie the CatJune 12th, 2011 at 2:05 am [Reply]
@Mr. O’Malley (#57): Frankly, it’s hard to tell which of you is wurst.
I think AFKAB brat the wurst pun to the table… it’s not even kosher.
Peter HillockJune 12th, 2011 at 2:26 am [Reply]
You know what’s a consistently good strip? Stone Soup.
I haven’t posted in a long time, guess my sarcasm is pretty rusty.
PoteetJune 12th, 2011 at 2:26 am [Reply]
All hail Tophat, and congrats to the others on the float!
PoteetJune 12th, 2011 at 2:29 am [Reply]
And further huzzahs for those on the list of Pseudo3D! Since I can no longer read all comments, I greatly appreciate others’ roundups of their best-of-the-best.
PoteetJune 12th, 2011 at 2:31 am [Reply]
6/12 PV — Holy moly, what diet is Maldubh on??
daleJune 12th, 2011 at 2:38 am [Reply]
Mark Trail -
The guy sets up camp right next to an existing garbage pile or creates it from scratch. Either way, he then uses a bucket to move his new crap 15 feet.
Rana the Pedantic Wet BlanketJune 12th, 2011 at 2:40 am [Reply]
@Maggie the Cat (#61): I guess he was being a brat, then. ;)
Rana the Pedantic Wet BlanketJune 12th, 2011 at 2:41 am [Reply]
Congrats to the floaters! And the hot doggers!
Baka GaijinJune 12th, 2011 at 2:59 am [Reply]
Sunday’s Comics
Mary Worth: You waited how long to enter this story and THAT’s your big advice? Just, just, just go back to perfecting your seafood scampi recipe off-panel while we call Aunt Iris to meddle them into wedded bliss.
Mark Trail: Molly doesn’t understand the garbage thrown toward her.
Slylock Fox: Am I the only one glad that they didn’t invite an Oid to Career Day?
Apartment 3-G: There goes my drive to Italy for the Fourth of July weekend.
KarMannJune 12th, 2011 at 3:00 am [Reply]
PV: These “two hooded presences,” could they be. . Abbott & Costello? (“Hey, Abbott!” “I hate that guy!”)
@Poteet (#65): It’s simple, really: She limits herself to two eyes of newt and one toad’s tongue. . . .
Baka GaijinJune 12th, 2011 at 3:00 am [Reply]
Blondie: Les Moore does that same thing when someone says “neoplasm.”
Sally Forth: I always love Ted’s delusional episodes. Love ‘em!
Hagar the Horrible: I’ll be the first to say it: “Paging Hagar-god, Paging Hagar-god, you’re needed in Westview, Ohio STAT!”
Baka GaijinJune 12th, 2011 at 3:06 am [Reply]
Lio: In today’s panel, we learn how Lio is able to afford all his neato gadgets.
Nancy: Whoa! That bow comes out of her hair? Who knew.
Frazz: Love the visual!
Mr. O'MalleyJune 12th, 2011 at 3:56 am [Reply]
SlFx: Obviously it’s Reeky Rat disguised as a possum.
Bill ThompsonJune 12th, 2011 at 4:47 am [Reply]
@KarMann (#70): Prince Valiant: Abbott and Costello? They’re the wrong shape. Maybe Hope and Crosby? “We’re on the road to Camelot, a place where jousts and battles may be fought, and if by Maldubh you are cruelly caught you will find it is with perils fraught. We’re on the road to Arthur’s court, where Valiant’s hair is not cut short, but if of him you would make sport, upon the rack you will contort.”
Push TrotJune 12th, 2011 at 4:48 am [Reply]
SFx: So now Slylock’s got them to make his anti-possum doctrin a part of the school curriculum? That’s certainly not disturbing in any way.
LisaJune 12th, 2011 at 5:08 am [Reply]
I like to imagine Mark is heading over to educate that litterbug about conservation with the fists-o-justice.
The throwaway panels of Beetle Bailey are very poignant, with Beetle cruelly rejecting the Sarge’s gentle advances.
June 12th, 2011 at 5:21 am [Reply]
MW: Seriously, Mary? Your advice to Drew about his stalkerish girlfriend is to just AVOID her? Yeah, that really worked out well with Aldo, didn’t it? So well you had to make him drive himself off a cliff! Seriously, I am so let down.
Doctor HandsomeJune 12th, 2011 at 6:16 am [Reply]
Congrats, Tophat!
I also feel I should clarify my baffling Wednesday Momma comment: I completely misread the strip as saying OVER 75, and I thought the gag was that Momma wanted an excuse not to accompany Francis to the beach. In my defense, I had been drinking for about 12 hours at that point.
FlummoxicatedJune 12th, 2011 at 6:33 am [Reply]
MW: Wow, Mary, what a great idea – and for Drew to simply “limit the contact” that he has with a co-worker should be easy! In fact, the best way for Drew to limit contact would be for him to go back to Vietnam, WHERE HE LIVES, since he just started showing up and doing rounds at the local hospital.
Meanwhile, Mark Trail has given up completely on whatever subtlety he may have had: “Stop littering, you young punks!” (Bonus points for his use of the word “begets”, though I bet he would be surprised to find out it actually means.)
Yes, Funky, that sign where someone says “I love you” is so difficult to read. Women, amirite?
ArchieNemesisJune 12th, 2011 at 8:01 am [Reply]
Okay, Mary Worth, you had your shot, now please step aside while Jill straightens out this misbegotten romance: “Liza! Hey &*^%face! Back the &$^%# off you dizzy bitch before I knock your $^&#^ing teeth loose! And Drew, good god, grow some *$^^% nads you sad sack of $%#&! Now, where’d I put my drink?”
KatyJune 12th, 2011 at 8:49 am [Reply]
Did Brooke McEldowney seriously just make a joke about child molestation? Complete with jizz all over the adult survivor?
Baka GaijinJune 12th, 2011 at 9:01 am [Reply]
@ArchieNemesis (#80): If only, if only.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 12th, 2011 at 9:03 am [Reply]
9CL: should have used the Thorax Locution, DR rule. EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
Foxtrot: “this is just one toe!” still, I chuckled.
Doons: repeated strip, or repeated joke? I’ve seen this before, iirc.
Lio: I am rather surprised this made it past the editors. “medicinal nip” at it’s funniest.
Luann: Mars, Venus, waitress, veal.
CdS: surreal is the word, indeed. (I *heart* this strip!)
Bizarro: one out of three aint bad.
MT: *one tear*
PMP: servicey! I’d watch her do the Mamushka, iykwim, aityd.
Zits: o goddess, the itchies from that insulation! *scratches frantically*
Bill ThompsonJune 12th, 2011 at 9:13 am [Reply]
@Katy (#81): That’s what it looks like.
KatyJune 12th, 2011 at 9:21 am [Reply]
@Bill Thompson (#84): fffuuuuuuuuu …
I was hoping I was overreacting. I was actually hoping someone would puncture my outrage and tell me to get over myself.
Now I’m just dully depressed. What a horrible person B. McE. is turning out to be.
gleebJune 12th, 2011 at 9:28 am [Reply]
Pearls: It’s not great, but it’s amusing enough. And at least I know that we won’t now have a week or two of the same gag being used (with Ron Glass, Stephen Glass, etc.), as would be the case with some other comics I could name.
Slylock: Sure, only female possums have pouches. But what’s really noteworthy is that it’s a damn possum wearing a shirt. Everybody knows possums are very conservative, and most females would wear a modest dress. Also, crime must be down in the forest if Slylock is boring schoolchildren instead of harassing raccoons.
Rex and June: Even on the rare occasion that they show up at the clinic, the Morgans see no patients.Not that I mind June draped casually across the furniture.
Phantom: Wait, the Python is in a big open enclosure, and his men can’t find him? Chatu, stop fooling yourself. They ain’t lookin’.
Mark: Man, he continues to toss buckets of litter, even with ark standing there talking about how he shouldn’t do that. He’s just lucky he’s clean-shaven.
Down on the Sidewalk: Detective O’Reilly’s shift must be almost over, and he doesn’t want to give the city the expense of overtime pay.
‘bean: Creepy Les: creepy then; creepy now; creepy forever.
ChipJune 12th, 2011 at 9:35 am [Reply]
FUNKY: Les could never read the signs… They just had sex, who would have seen THAT coming?
bourbon babe, unbuckledJune 12th, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]
SM: So Peter is again reminded that MJ is far more successful than he is—or than Spider-Man is. Given the mopey face on him, I think the “NEXT” box has it wrong; it should be “Who has . . . the self-pitying powers of a spider?”
JP: You don’t have a little while? Where do you have to go, Detective Toothpick McRumpled? Is this your once-a-month “conjugal bliss” night with Mrs. McRumpled?
MW: Mary’s pose in panel 3 makes me picture her putting on a prim little voice—right before she breaks into “I’m a Little Teapot.”
And Drew’s best bet for limiting contact with Liza, short of moving back to Vietnam and then bulldozing the airport so no more flights can come through? Take a hint from Jeremy in today’s Zits.
MT: I love the “oh, crap, I’ve been caught” look on the Litterbug’s face as Mark and Andy look on in solemn judgment. Little does he know that Mark is judge, jury, and punchecutioner.
nerowolfgalJune 12th, 2011 at 9:58 am [Reply]
MW – Does no one in the Mary Worth universe know/understand the word “stalker”? Is there no one at the hospital with, you know, perhaps some mental health training who either Drew could talk to, or perhaps just on their own notice the obsessive behavior of one of the nurses? You know, that one that ignoring her patients so she can text, bending the ear off any other nurse in the vicinity about her perfect love, and generally acting totally out to lunch. Perhaps, even her head nurse, the one that has had to reprimand her ,might notice her behaviour?
Bill ThompsonJune 12th, 2011 at 10:15 am [Reply]
@Katy (#85): I tried to convince myself it was just another of MuckYech’s failed efforts at humor. Then my brain caught up with my feelings and said it was crap. (I suppose you could reason that the evil uncle was killed before he did anything, the woman hadn’t been physically assaulted and the aunt’s ghost was having a tantrum–brain, STFU. It’s still crap.)
Mr K MartinJune 12th, 2011 at 10:31 am [Reply]
Why do they call the strip “Funky Winkerbean” when 95% of it seems to be all about the miseries of Les? They must change the name to “Les Miserable” now! I’m predicting that next week’s story thread will involve our hero heading down to the graveyard with a shovel singing Jimmy Cross’s “I want my baby back”.
TheDivaJune 12th, 2011 at 10:38 am [Reply]
9CL: HEY KIDS! Can YOU find all the levels of wrong in today’s 9 Chickweed Lane?
BRSG: See, this is why I prefer covenant controlled space stations.
C’shaft: And now it’s official: the only difference between Tom Batiuk and a cranky old man writing in the letters to the editor column is Batiuk’s rants come with drawings.
reFOOB: Michael comes by his attitude towards housework honestly.
FW: Whatever happened to Kelly, anyway? Because between Les covering his notebook with her name in last week’s strips and his obsessive tracking of her daily routine in today’s, I have a sneaking suspicion the answer involves a shallow grave in Les’ backyard.
MW: Yes, because that’s worked so well thus far, Mary. You’re the sort of person who tells bullied kids to “just ignore” their tormentors and everything will be fine, aren’t you?
SM: Mary Jane is more successful and popular than either of her husband’s identities. In other news, the sky is blue, the sun rises in the east and new evidence suggests that the Pope is indeed Catholic.
zerowolfJune 12th, 2011 at 10:41 am [Reply]
RMMD: Why wait for Monday, here’s Berna’s replacement now!
zerowolfJune 12th, 2011 at 10:46 am [Reply]
MT: Everytime you litter, Mark Trail kills a kitten!
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 12th, 2011 at 10:52 am [Reply]
@zerowolf (#94): please, think of the kittens.
bats :[June 12th, 2011 at 11:30 am [Reply]
@zerowolf (#93): NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Maggie the CatJune 12th, 2011 at 12:33 pm [Reply]
@Mr K Martin (#91): I was thinking the exact same thing as I read today’s FW. Why is Les the “star” character now? Les sucks. I’d rather see more of alky-Funky!
Mark BJune 12th, 2011 at 1:24 pm [Reply]
Dick Tracy cleared up something for me that I didn’t get earlier. Doubeup’s friend Ponytail isn’t the actress playing Ponytail. She’s just a double for lighting and setup, and the real actress playing Ponytail is Ms. Garner (Jennifer?). But Doubleup’s companion looks just like Ponytail, just like Ponytail! But she’s been replaced by Lizz, replaced by Lizz. Lizz is a bit taller than Ms. Garner so she’s practically busting out of her costume … [ok I'm getting tired of the doubling business]
Seeing that Doubleup is a Scarlet Sting fanatic, one wonders whether he got his moll to modify her appearance to look like Ponytail, Ponytail [oK, I'm not done yet]. She seems a bit young for Doubleup, perhaps she is his niece or something. Of course, being Doubleup, he prabably has more than one girlfriend…
Mark BJune 12th, 2011 at 1:27 pm [Reply]
Doubleup enters the room, a pretty girl on each arm. People turn their heads and gasp. He says, “What? Did you think people called me Doubleup because of the way I talk, the way I talk?”
Mark BJune 12th, 2011 at 2:19 pm [Reply]
The detective in Judge Parker seems to be in some kind of untoward hurry. “Look, Parker, I’ve got a lunch reservation … could you just grab the bitch so I could get out of here?”
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