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Thursday, May 5, 2011

Frank Stockton’s “Hamburgers for One”

Scott McCloud | Journal » Archive » Frank Stockton’s “Hamburgers for One” webcomics print inventions presentations consultingOn the Shelves Popular Destinations DonateGods Who Walk Among UsArt SpiegelmanChris WareDavid ByrneEdward TufteJim WoodringWill WrightNewsComics ReporterFleenJournalistaThe Beat

More Links Soon...‹ PreviousFrank Stockton’s “Hamburgers for One”May 4th, 2011

You can read the whole thing here. Great little story. Stockton offers some context on his blog here.

I’m encouraged to see artists embracing the short story form a bit more. Anthologies used to be the only venue (and indeed, this one was originally for Popgun Vol. 4), but they also work well on the Web, where a GN’s worth of time may be hard to find, but many viewers are ready to carve out 5-10 minutes.

Stories like “HfO” (or this or this) also make a great entry point for new comics readers, wondering what might be worth reading out there, but nowhere near ready for a more substantial investment of time and effort.

[link via Heidi—though I'm a bit late getting around to it!]

Posted in Cartoonists
Discussion (3)¬Frank says:May 4, 2011 at 5:33 am

Thanks for that. Truly a great little story with great little art. Sometimes it seems that comics not only need to be long-running or anthologies, but that they need to mirror the fast pace of a Hollywood movie. These here are some wonderful counterexamples!

ReplyKat says:May 4, 2011 at 9:29 am

That was a vaguely depressing story but really beautifully done. The pacing was so well done, and the art was beautiful. I’d love for short stories like this to become more common, especially if they could all be done so well

ReplyKat says:May 4, 2011 at 9:30 am

Oh, and I can say I’ve definitely been on the girl’s side of things before…it’s awkward and painful no matter where you stand in these kinds of situations

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Saturday bafflement

Ziggy, 4/30/11

This Ziggy really just raises a lot more questions than it answers. What is the nature of this “phony,” exactly? Is it a mere stuffed horse, which stands there unmoving, thus providing a singularly unimpressive “ride,” even at the very low proposed price? Or is that a horse costume, with someone inside of it? Either way, is there some significance to the long, lush lashes on the phony’s eyes, which is generally cartoon shorthand for “sexy lady”? And what are we to make of the smiling, guileless expression on face of the phony’s handler? The level of unseemly horror lurking just below the surface of this Ziggy panel is really off the charts.

Funky Winkerbean, 4/30/11

Funky Winkerbean similarly seems to promise some hidden payoff that doesn’t quite come into focus. Are we meant to contrast the present day, when technology is a deadly serious part of even the smallest business’s operations, with the gentler decades past, when nefarious computers were restricted only to video gaming? Or maybe there isn’t any point here at all. Maybe Montoni just got tired of talking to Funky about this computer business, went downstairs, and blew off some steam by playing video games, wiling away the hours before his inevitable tragic death.

Dennis the Menace, 4/30/11

Chicks dig it when a dude just insouciantly chugs down a frosty drink and then stone cold throws the glass on the floor, because he just doesn’t give a shit. Mrs. Wilson knows the score!

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 1, 2011 at 09:20 pm and is filed under Dennis the Menace, Funky Winkerbean, Ziggy. | 60 responses to “” Rocky Stoneaxe
May 1st, 2011 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

I think I’ve found the inspiration for Ludwig, the cat in Arlo & Janis:

http://www.lambiek.net/artists/m/marcus_jerry/marcus_fatcat.jpg

It’s “Fatkat” from the Jerry Marcus comic strip, Trudy (1963-2005).

Frank Lee Meidere
May 1st, 2011 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

Ziggy may be even more disturbing than you fear, Josh. I think Ziggy’s at a rural furry convention.

Roto13
May 1st, 2011 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

Saturday’s Funky Winkerbean is about the death of the American arcade. I don’t know what game this guy is playing, though. “Kish kish kish”? Is just purposefully losing at Frogger or something? Is this the comic sections answer to cutting?

Rusty
May 1st, 2011 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

FW: Nobody has ever fallen down that cellar stairwell and cracked their skull open? You could slip 2 Wally’s in the gap where the risers should be.

DtW:An adult Dennis would be the hunkiest character in many strips, including Foob, 9CL, Luann and Spiderman. Hell, little boy Dennis could kick every character’s ass except Dirk.

pugfuggly
May 1st, 2011 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

To answer the mystery of today’s Ziggy, the horse is just an inanimate stuffed decoy, and the ‘phony’ is the grinning carny. And you just yourself bought a ride, all right….

S. Stout
May 1st, 2011 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

Ziggy’s never ridden anyone in his life and likely never will, so this is his big chance! With the cost priced at Ziggy’s income level and his pants already off, Ziggy is ready for action.

Lorne
May 1st, 2011 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

@Roto13 (#3): The game is the original Space Invaders.

BigTed
May 1st, 2011 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

I think Mr. Wilson wins the menacing contest here. It would be awfully hard to break a drinking glass on a carpet (or blue linoleum floor, it’s hard to tell). So clearly Dennis has been given one of the Acme Slip ‘n’ Shatter Novelty Glasses the old man keeps on hand for just this purpose. Soon he’ll develop such a reputation for clumsiness that his folks will have no choice but to start him on ADHD meds years ahead of schedule.

Andie
May 1st, 2011 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

re: Ziggy. I just had the oddest urge to watch Clerks 2.

Mars
May 1st, 2011 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

@Lorne (#7): I thought, based on the cabinet art, it was Berzerk.

Lorne
May 1st, 2011 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

The most disturbing thing about the “Phony” in the Ziggy cartoon?
That’s not a tail!

SamECircle
May 1st, 2011 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

WHY IN THE HECK DID TODAY’S ZIGGY MAKE ME LAUGH???
I just looked at it, and chuckled. I wasn’t even feeling all that happy today, but that Ziggy just brought a smile to my face. I CAN’T FIGURE OUT WHY! The pun’s not funny, the premise doesn’t make sense, but that, for me, and for NO GOOD REASON, is a really funny cartoon! Theories?

Frank Lee Meidere
May 1st, 2011 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

@SamECircle (#12): The one joke that made my wife laugh hardest goes like this:

“Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?”
“I don’t know. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?”
“Because it was dead.”

Sometimes nonsense works. Just ask Charles Dodgson.

Robert
May 1st, 2011 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

Oooh! Oooh! Mr. Kotter! I know this one!

Pizza parlors made a FORTUNE off of arcade games. FW is actually making a fairly subtle but quite valid point. The older pizza guy is saying that he believes in the new technology…because he benefited from the first big tech wave. He’s seen it done.

pugfuggly
May 1st, 2011 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

My first thought when I saw the ominous art on the arcade game on in Saturday’s Funky was of the legend of Polybius, the mysterious, addictive game born of a massive government conspiracy. And considering that the game supposedly led people to insomnia, depression and eventually suicide, it seems possible that this single machine may have infected the entire town back in the 80s. Only Tony plays it now, feeding his playing addiction, all the while unknowingly sending further data back to Illuminati headquarters…

(I see it’s been identified now as the original space invaders…well, good information should never get in the way of a good conspiracy story, right?

Walker of Dog
May 1st, 2011 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

I’d feel a lot better knowing for sure that the tail is stitched on, and not attached with a zipper.

@SamECircle (#12): You’re tweaking? Or hopped up on the internet? Something disorienting.

bartcow
May 1st, 2011 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

Honest to God, I wasn’t seeing the side of a video game console in the basement. I saw an unspeakable mouthless demon and its familiar emerging from a closet, ready to receive its weekly sacrifice from Montoni. Ritual sacrifice makes a “kish kish kish” sound, by the way.

Sure, demons living under a small town wreaking havoc on its citizens is a blatant Stephen King ripoff, but by god, does it explain a lot.

Maggie the Cat
May 1st, 2011 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

@Frank Lee Meidere (#2):

That comment gave me three chuckles. As for Ziggy attending the RFC, I think the only costume he could pull off would be a porcupine or armadillo, though they aren’t actually furry. The armadillo or porcupine would be like the leather and studded version of furries. Ziggy is one freaky cartoon.

Malimar
May 1st, 2011 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

ogawd, I just unironically laughed aloud at Ziggy, what is wrong with me?

langostino
May 1st, 2011 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

If there is a person inside Ziggy’s pony, it is a person who has been sewn into the costume!

In other words, it is a furry with a level of commitment that goes far beyond mere kinky sex play.

Oavis
May 1st, 2011 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

I see Montoni is having a go at his favorite video game, “The Spectre of Death.”

Doctor Handsome
May 1st, 2011 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

Patients dying because their nurse is addicted to twitter I can handle, but an old man addicted to to the Space Invaders machine in a pizzeria basement? That is just unfathomably depressing.

Alan's Addiction
May 1st, 2011 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

I applaud today’s “Ziggy” for its attempts to make defrauding children and families “cute” or “charming.”
I have just one question about today’s “Funky Winkerbean:” what the hell kind of game is that? Based on the art on the side, it could be “Werewolf Pole-dancer,” which would be both fun and disturbing. Or maybe that’s supposed to be a large hairy hand beckoning or pointing or something. Of course, this is idle speculation, because we all know that the only constants in the Funkyverse are cancer and death. Which means that the video game is something like “Cancer: The Game,” or “Mortal Death,” or “The Hospice.”
I like to think that Mr. Wilson’s evil, hate-filled gaze caused Dennis’s glass to implode. I think that giving Mr. Wilson freaky mind-powers would make this strip the indisputable greatest thing, ever. If you disagree with that statement, merely imagine it as, “Grumpy Old Men: Scanners.” Still don’t like the idea? That’s all right; telekinetic Mr. Wilson knows where you live and can literally change your mind.

Oavis
May 1st, 2011 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

@SamECircle (#12): There is something funny about it. Maybe it’s the suggestion of deeper meaning offered by the identical knee patches on both the phony and its master (or slave). That means something, and I’m going to go watch “White Pongo” instead of trying to figure it out.

Dr. Weird
May 1st, 2011 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

@Robert (#14):

Wow, that’s a really good idea… though it does seem a bit subtle for FW. My thought is related to Josh’s: Montoni retreating from modern tech to take solace in simpler things, the three buttons of Space Invaders.

It was a well-rendered Space Invaders cabinet, I must admit. Have to wonder how they got it down those stairs without killing someone though. Maybe that’s what happened to (that character we haven’t seen lately).

FOOBed again
May 1st, 2011 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

@Doctor Handsome (#22): Well, everything in Westview is depressing, and it’s probably better than talking to Funky.

Maggie the Cat
May 1st, 2011 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

If Nurse Liza were to be played on the big screen, Kristen Wigg would have to play her, IMO. Only she could be so creepily comical like Liza. That last panel in Sunday’s MW where she’s waving in a “YooooohOOOO!!!” singsong-like way is just very Kristen Wiig.

Charles
May 1st, 2011 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

@Alan’s Addiction (#23): I would totally play a video game called “Werewolf Pole Dancer”.

Dr. Weird
May 1st, 2011 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

@Alan’s Addiction (#23):

No sense of history these days… It’s Space Invaders! Granted, the games themselves didn’t have much in the way of graphics, so they needed evocative cabinet art to tell the story and attract people… even if it had nothing to do with what was on the screen.

http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5176/5491132125_33cf8eb892.jpg

http://img.engadget.com/common/images/3060000000048027.JPG?0.5243646637858981

arto
May 1st, 2011 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

If you really want to hear about today’s Ziggy, the first thing you probably want to hear is about where Ziggy was born, and what a lousy childhood he had, and how his parents were occupied before they had him, and all that For Better or For Worse kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth. That stuff kind of bores me.

Chance
May 1st, 2011 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

@arto (#30): If only Ziggy became fixated on the totemic power of a pair of pants and not a read hunting cap with flaps.

Naked Bunny with a Whip
May 1st, 2011 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

the leather and studded version of furries

/me checks his Morphicon program

Dang.

Poteet
May 1st, 2011 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

ZIGGY — Is there a place where people really chew grass blades while wearing hats like that? I’ve never seen anyone doing it here.

NoahSnark
May 1st, 2011 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

Being old enough to remember playing that video game when it first came out, Funky Winkerbean has dragged me into a pit of depression and despair over my own mortality. Which, admittedly, makes this one of the most light-hearted strips Tom Batiuk has ever written.

[Old Man] Muffaroo
May 1st, 2011 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

Who’s inside the horse costume?

Another horse.

He’s only pretending to be two humans.

Inside the human costume?

Don’t ask. Really.

Hoverboy
May 1st, 2011 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

Oh…it’s a fake pony. Ha ha ha terrible.

Col. Havoc
May 1st, 2011 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

Hey, I’ve been taking nap. Anything important on the news tonight?

Rocky Stoneaxe
May 1st, 2011 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

Ziggy — This particular “joke” would work better if there were two of them:

http://stuartngbooks.com/images/detailed/18/59111_complete_panic_ec_22655.jpg

bats :[
May 1st, 2011 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

Why does Montoni give a rat’s ass about anything that happens with the restaurant. Here it is, May 1…shouldn’t he be defecting to Florida (or is that a snowbird thing, and he’s back for the balmy summer weather and mosquitoes in Westview?)?
As you can tell, I don’t give a rat’s ass about any of these characters, either.

Maggie the Cat
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:02 am [Reply]

@Col. Havoc (#37):

Well I heard there’s a new arrival somewhere real hot and fiery ;-)

Artist formerly known as Ben
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:05 am [Reply]

Mayday comics

HOTC: Heart is much more resistant to Royal Wedding fever than I would have guessed.

Lio: Representing the new science fiction sub-subgenre of Stalkerpunk.

JP: Judge Emeritus Parker is trying to talk down a suicide, and Constance’s first reaction is to Google her on her iPhone. Mary Worth, this is how technolodgy addiction is done.

SFx: Messrs Shrew and Rat go to jail because they have no money to pay for the pizza. Max impulsively eats the last slice. Mrs Gator and her son eat Max. It’s the circle of life.

S-M: “My spider sense is telling me that Martine just changed into a skimpier outfit. Funny, that’s not the part of me that usually tingles.”

Rocky Stoneaxe
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:11 am [Reply]

@bats :[ (#39):

That’s two rat’s asses… what about the third? (See below!)

@Maggie the Cat (#40):

And speaking of “hot and fiery”:

http://www.peppers.com/cube/images/uploads/ratsass3.JPG

Frank Lee Meidere
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:11 am [Reply]

@arto (#30): I saw that. Very, very nice.

SideshowJon
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:18 am [Reply]

@Frank Lee Meidere (#2): Ye Gods. He’ll certainly wish he listened to Rat’s demand that he put on pants now. Hindsight, am I right?

Yr Obt Servt
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:24 am [Reply]

“Kish! Kish! Kish!”

No. It should be “Ding! Ding! Thump!” Montoni’s clearly old enough to recall pinball games rather than this newfangled “video game” nonsense

Really, you kids and your “internet”, you worry me.

Frank Lee Meidere
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:26 am [Reply]

@SideshowJon (#44): Unless we’ve finally discovered his real reason for ignoring the advice.

Crankenstank
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:34 am [Reply]

The key, as ever, to understanding Ziggy: the “Phony” is the hillbilly nickname of the gent on the left, not the whatever-it-is on the right.

Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:51 am [Reply]

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#41): I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who had that reaction to the last run of Lio comics. I think it says something that while I find most of Lio endearing – a comic that features monsters, zombies, and strange violence, mind you – these ones are just creepy and gross.

I suppose it’s because it’s too realistic. :/

Lisa
May 2nd, 2011 at 1:14 am [Reply]

Montoni is playing a pinball machine. I remember them well.

Rocky Stoneaxe
May 2nd, 2011 at 7:33 am [Reply]

@Col. Havoc (#37):

Hey, I’ve been taking nap. Anything important on the news tonight?

At least you weren’t taking a dirt nap like this Osama guy:

http://www.tampabay.com/blogs/media/content/see-president-obamas-announcement-about-osama-bin-laden-here

HappyFunky
May 2nd, 2011 at 9:05 am [Reply]

Is the Funky strip saying that Montoni invested in the last technology “boom” in 1983 by buying a space invaders game and just ended up with an old moneyloser in the basement? Lesson here is clearly “DO NOT INVEST IN YOUR BUSINESS! ALL EFFORT LEADS TO INEVITABLE FAILURE!” Classic Funky.

Well, the joke, like that Amazing Stories with Mark Hamill, is that the game in that condition is probably worth a lot of money! Montoni could be rich!

Binder's Butter Beans
May 2nd, 2011 at 9:48 am [Reply]

“Very low proposed price”? Listen, I wouldn’t pay 50 cents to sit on a stuffed animal. I’ve got better things to spend my four bits on. There’s a SpongeBob sticker calling my name, in the quarter machine just inside the Kroger.

Lloyd S.
May 2nd, 2011 at 11:48 am [Reply]

Geez, it’s been well over 50 years that Dennis has been “menacing.” If he were going to grow up, he’d have likely done it already. They can’t even pull a Winkerbeanesque time leap on the strip, ’cause that would defeat the whole darned premise…

Hamburger Cheesedoodle
May 2nd, 2011 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

I couldn’t help but notice that it says ©2011 Ziggy and Friends. Ziggy has friends? Since when?

Mardou Fox
May 2nd, 2011 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

I laughed so hard at Josh’s comment on DtM that I cried. Thanks, Josh! I needed that!

SamECircle
May 2nd, 2011 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

@Oavis (#24):
It takes more than a shave to make a horrible, horrible movie.

Oavis
May 2nd, 2011 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

@SamECircle (#56): Oh god, I know that now. Still, I enjoyed the climactic gorilla-fight.

Birthmark Hal
May 3rd, 2011 at 12:04 am [Reply]

Montoni is going to come down with Pac-Man Fever and, naturally, it’s terminal.

BethB
May 3rd, 2011 at 7:16 am [Reply]

Ziggy quietly questions the wisdom of attending the Hobbies For Rednecks convention.

Greg
May 3rd, 2011 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

FW: But maybe this is the start of an exciting new plot development–Montoni is going to take on Billy Mitchell for the world record in… whatever that game is. And then in the championship game he dies of a heart attack! Genius!

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Sunday horror shows

Crock, 5/2/11

Ha ha, someone thought that underage scat porn used as an instrument of torture was a good theme for a comic strip! Sure, why not?

Crankshaft, 5/2/11

It sure makes Crankshaft’s half-assed attempts to sexually harass hapless customer service personnel seem positively quaint by comparison.

Spider-Man, 5/2/11

This whole “human vampire” business has worked itself out in even sillier fashion than I could have imagined, with Dr. Morbius’s fiancee accidentally becoming a real vampire in order to understand her beloved’s fake vampirism. The only logical hole out of many I’ll point out here: wouldn’t Dr. Morbius, wracked with guilt over his faux-vampirism, have noticed his fiancee’s vampiric tendencies? “Say, sweetie, would you like to go out for dinner? I’ve got 6 o’clock reservations!” “Let’s make it 9, so that I don’t have to leave the apartment when the sun’s still up. Also, they serve blood there, right? You know I subsist entirely on human blood now.”

Also, regarding the last panel’s NEXT box, it probably wouldn’t be so much a race against time if Peter had woken up when MJ first got into trouble, several hours ago.

Panel from Hi and Lois, 5/2/11

Was baby Trixie from Hi and Lois not on your list of characters who filled you with dread? Well, that’s changed forever now, I’ll say.

This entry was posted on Monday, May 2, 2011 at 12:16 am and is filed under Crankshaft, Crock, Hi and Lois, Spider-Man. | 59 responses to “” Apeman
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:30 am [Reply]

How did the guy who draws Crock ever get that job? I drew better comics for my high school newspaper and my art consisted of “ants” which were three black circles drawn on top of each other with lines on top for the antennae, two in the middle circle for arms and two on the bottom for legs. And I couldn’t even draw faces inside the circles. And yet what I drew is still infinitely better than anything I’ve ever seen in Crock!

ElkMeadow
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:32 am [Reply]

Whoa, Liza is right in Dr. Drew’s space. What meds have she been taking from the supply room?

Dexter is still up in the second floor. I think strip wise maybe 15 hours have gone by, somehow. Here, in our world, I think it’s been three months.

Oh, wow, don’t jump! Your weapons took out the big O.b.L.!

Poteet
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:33 am [Reply]

I’m glad I’m not a superhero, because there’s no way I could get any sleep while encased in spandex.

Aviatrix
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:34 am [Reply]

You think YOU were confused by FW. The way I saw it, Montoni went downstairs and opened the door to a closet in which an amorphous creature holding an arrow was hanging from a closet rail, and also a small copy of the creature was lunging out, surrounded by light. It makes a lot more sense for it to be a video game.

Apeman
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:38 am [Reply]

High and Lowest: It looks like Trixie is ready to move on from the bottle to BRAINSSSSSS! Nice, chewy BRAINSSSSSS!

Aviatrix
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:42 am [Reply]

@SamECircle (Y12): We laugh sometimes as a defence against confusion.

Artist formerly known as Ben
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:44 am [Reply]

Tawdry? Underwear? That’s tango and uniform! You’re a disgrace to whatever underwear uniform you used to wear, Crankshaft. Now drop and give me twenty!

Poteet
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:48 am [Reply]

Even in Bram Stoker’s DRACULA, which portrayed the Count as a very non-hunky fiend, being bitten by a vampire was somewhat erotic. But Martine makes it look about as much fun as getting audited. Eroticism is not allowed in S-M, period.

Poteet
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:50 am [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#4): That’s about the way I saw it, except I thought the creature portrayed on the closet was a hideously-deformed cat. The truth was a relief.

BigTed
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:50 am [Reply]

Apparently the main difference is that “human vampires” look like Lon Chaney, but the real ones just get hotter. No wonder the “crypts of Transylvania” are such a big tourist attraction among juicy Americans that the original vamps still hang out there.

Aviatrix
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:50 am [Reply]

@bartcow (Y17): I didn’t read all the comments before posting mine because I thought there was no chance of oversnark for such a nonsensical interpretation. But you saw the same thing, yet managed to make some sense of it. There should be some kind of award for that.

Artist formerly known as Ben
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:51 am [Reply]

@Poteet (#8): I’m guessing Dracula finished too soon for her.

AndyL
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:54 am [Reply]

Look how much empty space was left in the signature box on Spiderman. It’s like the artist keeps hoping against hope, that maybe this week, Stan Lee will acknowledge all the peons working under him who actually craft the strip. Nope. Too bad. Try again next Sunday.

BigTed
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:55 am [Reply]

Is Trixie on ecstasy? What a day to be without her pacifier!

This Guy
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:55 am [Reply]

I’m sure I’m not the only one who thought of a great epitaph for a mansion-dwelling terrorist: “Christ, what an asshole.”

AndyL
May 2nd, 2011 at 1:06 am [Reply]

Ah, nothing indicates the great outdoors more than a squirrel in the foreground caught in the act of climbing down from a vertical tree-trunk onto a horizontal branch. … apparently. … because that’s how they always indicate it.

Push Trot
May 2nd, 2011 at 1:10 am [Reply]

It’s early morning here, but before going to work I just want to say congratulations, you got the bastard.

I’ll never forget that fateful day almost ten years ago, and I don’t think anyone in our generation will. Now at least there’s a sense of closure, and although it won’t bring anyone back, it will make it a little less hard to bear for those who still suffer.

Ten years ago I lighted a candle in front of the American embassy. I think I’ll drive by and do the same today.

Comcis Fan
May 2nd, 2011 at 1:11 am [Reply]

FW: Come on. Darin is cramping Les’ style? Considering Les’ style consists of old-man polyester jackets, a physique that doesn’t even lift power-walking weights, and tentatively smooching his supposed lady friend, doesn’t seem there’s much of a threat there. On the other hand, maybe the idea is that Darin will serve as yet another romance-dousing reminder of Lisa. That’s probably it.

sak
May 2nd, 2011 at 1:13 am [Reply]

This is the adorable. Peter Parker is wearing spiderman pajamas to bed.

Alan's Addiction
May 2nd, 2011 at 1:21 am [Reply]

I hereby give today’s “Crock” strip the coveted “Best Euphemism of All Time” Award. Specifically, inserting the phrase, “suffering from disease, fatigue, and starvation” for the more commonly used phrase, “Still drunk from the night before.” Also, it’s worth noting that most of us have desperately tried (with varying levels of success) to remove/destroy any embarrassing photos/movies/evidence that we were ever disgusting or immature in our youth. It’s highly disturbing that Crock not only has hung on to his personal, wretched mementos of a (hopefully) bygone era; but that he seems to prize them.
I used to wonder about the comics page’s quaint aversion to all things remotely sexual or scatological. Now, thanks to seeing Crankshaft mention the word “underwear” and the unspeakable Lovecraftian horrors it brought to my mind, I know that the taboo is less about social conformity, and more about protecting the readership from clawing clawing off their own faces in terror.
Today’s “Spider-Man” is a treasure trove of snarky potential. First of all, Mary Jane should be VERY familiar with being drugged and unconscious, or, as Peter refers to it, “the honey moon.” *Rimshot* Also, I’m disappointed that the close-ups of Mrs. Human Vampire are entirely above the neck, because that outfit she’s wearing is easily the smartest and most interesting thing in the entire strip. I’m being serious, that bodice-thingy has a higher IQ than anyone who wanders around Transylvania looking for Dracula just so they can be bitten and turned into a vampire. Finally, I’m pleased to see that Peter Parker sleeps in Spider-Man flannel feety pajamas, just as any respectable man-child would.
I like to think that Trixie is suffering from severe heroin withdrawal and is taking her mind off of her physical cravings by chewing on her play pen.

Doctor Handsome
May 2nd, 2011 at 1:52 am [Reply]

I like how Morbius’s sad face registers the dawning realization that his girlfriend almost certainly banged Dracula.

Fashion Police
May 2nd, 2011 at 2:17 am [Reply]

We are not certain where the action in the Sunday Phantom is taking place, but the cigar-smoking gentleman in the the leftmost panel of the second row appears to have wandered in from some American trade association convention. He also appears to have wandered in from 1973. Although given President Luaga’s taste for accessorizing in purple and teal it just may be possible that pink ruffled tuxedo shirts are quite middle-of-the-road in Mawitaan society circles.

dude's got
May 2nd, 2011 at 3:32 am [Reply]

@Poteet (#3):

Spiderman has the original pair of underoos, doesn’t he?

Bill Thompson
May 2nd, 2011 at 4:37 am [Reply]

Spiderman is shocked to find that his wife has gone missing? She might be easier to find if they slept in the same bed. Ditch the single bed, Spidey, and stop sleeping in your underwear. For that matter, you’re a freelance photographer, right? Develop a client list that extends beyond J. Jonah Jameson. Maybe some other newspaper would like to scoop him with exclusive pictures of the latest monster to threaten the city. Either that or admit you enjoy being his photobitch.

Bill Thompson
May 2nd, 2011 at 4:43 am [Reply]

Crankshat’s problem isn’t that he’s confused by the spelled-out military alphabet. It isn’t that he was in the military when it was T was Tare instead of Tango and U was Union instead of Uniform. The real problem is that when he was in the military, he was a centurion and the Roman alphabet didn’t have the letter U. It still trips him up.

KarMann
May 2nd, 2011 at 6:09 am [Reply]

Well, quite the timing for Doonesbury today!

KarMann
May 2nd, 2011 at 6:18 am [Reply]

Looks like Bob Weber Sr. decided to borrow a bit of art from Bob Weber Jr. in today’s Moose & Molly. [*] So, how many symmetries can you find?

Firefly
May 2nd, 2011 at 6:27 am [Reply]

Is it normal for female vampires to wear stripper-worthy outfits?

gleeb
May 2nd, 2011 at 6:41 am [Reply]

‘bean: Creepy Les sure is having a hard time juggling so many sexual relationships.

Phantom: Guran takes unexpected pleasure in a woman’s collapse.

Slylock: Sure, it’s an empty suitcase. But that’s just because it’s a prop. These two have to meet here for their trysts because the rest of the prairie dog colony persecute their love. Slylock the Oppressor strikes again.

Rocky Stoneaxe
May 2nd, 2011 at 7:00 am [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#yy138):

More Weird Sound Effects (Sunday Edition):

reFOOB — BONK!
Non Sequitur — FOOMP
Rose is Rose — CHING CHING… KISS
Baby Blues — SKRRCCH! BAZOING! BONK

Little Guy
May 2nd, 2011 at 7:11 am [Reply]

Happy Monday! Congrats to the CotW, the floaters, and the floatillion! Next week, a revamped Peanuts has Snoopy as the Famous Special Ops Sniper ready to take out Osama bin Ladin.

As promised, bringing up the rear is the Duck Boat with the Evil Empire observation by Shrug, accompanied by ElkMeadow and the Sherlock Holmes and Occam on-target prediction in Curtis.

animus
May 2nd, 2011 at 7:13 am [Reply]

Is it normal for female vampires to wear stripper-worthy outfits?

Yes. I’ve seen it in a lot of films.

Little Guy
May 2nd, 2011 at 7:14 am [Reply]

Actually, this is the dead-on call by ElkMeadow.

Spunde
May 2nd, 2011 at 7:26 am [Reply]

Judge Parker: Even Judge Parker must be stunned at the level of smugness it takes to, while standing on a rooftop preparing to jump, begin your name with “Dr.”

Patrick
May 2nd, 2011 at 7:27 am [Reply]

That’s a heck of a lot of set-up panels in Crankshaft for such a lame joke. Gotta give it to the artist, though. Every angle of Crankshaft’s head has been lovingly rendered.

Peanut Gallery
May 2nd, 2011 at 7:33 am [Reply]

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#7): In that case, he should have said “niner”.

Krazy Kat
May 2nd, 2011 at 7:45 am [Reply]

Good thing Peter was wearing his Spiderman PJs!

Peanut Gallery
May 2nd, 2011 at 8:03 am [Reply]

@Little Guy (#31): Expect variations on this gag to be showing up everywhere immediately. But don’t expect comments to appear in the comic strips until a couple of months from now!

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
May 2nd, 2011 at 8:13 am [Reply]

IP: yeah, chimps get like that when they get older.

JS: *obvious “Young and the Restless” comment here.*

Bizarro: NICE!!!

JUMBLE: wouldn’t you like to ride in my beautiful, my beautiful balloon.

Mutts: o dear, another week of Shelter Stories. *puts on heart armor*

PBS: I feel your pain, Pig.

RwO: tiny lettering WIN! (you do realize that is Les and Cayla after the next timejump.)

6Cx: updated pee mail joke, how current.

Zits: mmmmm, snickerdoodles. . . .:-)~~~

SB: *dies laughing*

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
May 2nd, 2011 at 8:21 am [Reply]

@Firefly (#28):

yes.

(nsfw)

KarMann
May 2nd, 2011 at 8:32 am [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#39): Your SB is Speed Bump, not Strange Brew, right? If so, hell yeah, me too. :)

mvg
May 2nd, 2011 at 8:36 am [Reply]

Peanuts: When did Charlie Brown move to Westview?

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
May 2nd, 2011 at 8:46 am [Reply]

epic happy pup.

they see me rollin.

bellehbellehbelleh! (as demonstrated here.)

rhapsosqui in blue.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
May 2nd, 2011 at 8:47 am [Reply]

@KarMann (#41): yes, Speed Bump it is. :-)

frothy
May 2nd, 2011 at 9:41 am [Reply]

“Ha ha, someone thought that underage scat porn used as an instrument of torture was a good theme for a comic strip! Sure, why not?”

It’s not being used as an instrument of torture at all. It’s being used as a source of entertainment for the men, to boost their morale. Those guys are the soldiers, not the prisoners. Crock’s idea is that the men would like to see these so that they can point and laugh at them, not be tortured by them.

Rhekarid
May 2nd, 2011 at 11:52 am [Reply]

So, blankets are Spider-Man’s kryptonite? “Too heavy and warm! Can’t…move! Desire to save lives, fading! Must help MJ….hey, is that a potato chip between the cushions? *crunch*”

ElkMeadow
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#y8):

Even in Bram Stoker’s DRACULA…. being bitten by a vampire was somewhat erotic.

Somewhat erotic? SOMEWHAT?! What edition did you read? The Illustrated Children’s Classics?

Poor Thompson
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

I’m not sure what to think about the fact that in the Marvel universe having a medical condition automatically leads to one becoming a super hero or villian. I have Tourette’s Syndrome, so I’m trying to come up with a good name for myself in case I ever move there. Unfortunately, “The Tick” is already taken.

That Library Nut
May 2nd, 2011 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

Trixie will eventually have that exact same face and say that exact same thing when she is infected with the zombie virus. “Chip certainly tastes…CHEWY!”

Black Drazon
May 2nd, 2011 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

Oh, good. Crock is Marvin in the future, leading the foreign legion to war in the desert without outdated equipment and no food. Everything makes way more sense now, to be honest.

Is Mary Jane in trouble again? After the mainstream SM was made a single man again, did they make sure they only hired people at Marvel that think “marriage” is a synonym for “constantly kidnapped ad nauseum”? Don’t get me wrong, they deserve work too, and couldn’t have found a happier home.

Roktober
May 2nd, 2011 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

“From you Morbius! I learned about vampirism from watching you!”

Parents who indulge in vamprism have children who indulge in vampirism. Talk to your kids about being an unholy creature of the night before its too late.

Hamburger Cheesedoodle
May 2nd, 2011 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

Spider Man: http://img683.imageshack.us/img683/2088/yeahnothanks.jpg

Mysterious shirtless lawyer
May 2nd, 2011 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

“Also, regarding the last panel’s NEXT box, it probably wouldn’t be so much a race against time if Peter had woken up when MJ first got into trouble, several hours ago.”

Yeah, but then we wouldn’t get to see MJ drugged and unconscious, with her skirt half-way up her thighs. For someone who lives in Baltimore, that must be pretty close to heaven.

Victor Von
May 2nd, 2011 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

“I live again… as a vampire… therefore, this sexy Halloween costume was my only choice. Available from Target.com, $49.95.”

caliban
May 2nd, 2011 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

How come I Can’t See You In My Mirror? Great rock ‘n’ roll.

Johnny Q
May 2nd, 2011 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

Spiderman waking up late reminds me of the ’50s TV show THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN, where the Man of Steel always arrived to save the day not one second earlier than he had to.

Liam
May 2nd, 2011 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

Hi and Lois-Run, Trixie’s got a taste for human blood.

Owen
May 3rd, 2011 at 6:13 am [Reply]

@#13

I was personally thinking that the Spider-Man credit box was a template designed to include credit for Stan Lee and whichever artist happened to be saddled with the job on any given Sunday – but that the current artist flat out refused to have their name associated with this abomination.

Greg
May 3rd, 2011 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

She’s a vampire now, but I’m glad to see she has the good taste to wear a pearl necklace. Very classy.

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