Dick Tracy, 12/8/10
Oh, hey, Dick Tracy has been happening! The new plot involves Dick taking an inhuman maniac mass murderer, who’s wearing a terrifying gimp mask that also kind of looks like a toaster, to his sentencing, for reasons too unrealistic and dumb to go into here. However, I thought today’s strip was worth mentioning because of Dick’s dialogue in panel one — “Doctor, or whatever you are.” “I mean, I didn’t look at your CV or anything before they put you, draped and shackles and fetish gear, in the back of my low-slung sedan. Are you a medical doctor? Should I call you ‘professor’? Alls I know is that a depraved monster like you had to come out of the so-called ‘higher education’ system.”
Judge Parker, 12/8/10
Sam being garden variety smug about his wealth and privilege is all good fun. But Sam being smug about how his friend Judge Parker wrote especially erotic sex scenes involving his fictional stand-in, “Hank Austin,” and a beautiful assassin? That’s … that’s kind of gross, actually.
Mary Worth, 12/8/10
Obviously Jill’s drunken tirade wasn’t going to end nicely, with her storming out in a huff. I think that we all should have realized that the only way she was going to leave this hideously decorated reception hall was by being dragged out bodily, raving like a lunatic, clinging to her precious, precious bottle of wine. As usual, Jill’s apparent emotional state is all over the map: in the first panel she’s all rage, but in panel two she looks genuinely terrified, convinced that Adrian is making a terrible, fatal mistake. She reminds me of nothing so much as the final scene in the original Invasion of the Body Snatchers:
YOU’RE NEXT, ADRIAN! YOU’RE NEXT! Foolish Jill — did you not realize that you’re already in a room full of pod people?
Pluggers, 12/8/10
Dear Pluggers: If you’re trying to make a double entendre like this, keep in mind that we look at the cartoon before we read the caption, which kind of ruins the effect. Also: never, ever make a double entendre again, for reals.
This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 8, 2010 at 09:50 am and is filed under Dick Tracy, Judge Parker, Mary Worth, Pluggers. | 202 responses to “” mojoDecember 8th, 2010 at 9:54 am [Reply]
This week’s Mary Worth has been brought to you by Roy Lichtenstein. Ladies, if you ever leave your baby on the bus, or find yourself drowning and unwilling to call that rat bastard Brad for help, remember the name “Lichtenstein”! Yes, that’s Roy Lichtenstein, for ALL of your dramatic needs!
Uncle Ritzy FritzDecember 8th, 2010 at 9:58 am [Reply]
Ok – So, How did Mark go from being nekkid, wet and steamy to nearly full-on khaki in a matter of seconds? If I knew his secret it would mean an extra half hour in bed for me every morning, easy.
CloudbusterDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:01 am [Reply]
@Uncle Ritzy Fritz: Maybe Mark and Kelly spent a half hour in bed in the meantime.
Ethan ShusterDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:05 am [Reply]
MW: Wherever they’re holding this rehearsal dinner, it must be a real classy place, considering they have their own orange-jacketed security force.
thehollisDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:06 am [Reply]
Mary Worth, Panel One, Right-hand side: Eric Idle photobomb!
Ethan ShusterDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:12 am [Reply]
Yes, after first looking at yesterday’s Mark Trail, today’s really does look like an “after” picture, doesn’t it? Isn’t a guy standing there, buttoning up his shirt old TV and movie code for, “they just did it”? It’s like somebody edited a scene out of a movie for a network television broadcast.
Scott BotDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:12 am [Reply]
Archie – I love the pic of Mr. Weatherbee on the bulletin board. ‘Big Brother is watching you!’
DT – I love Dick’s attempt at casual conversation – ‘Care to tell me about your crime spree? How about those Packers, huh? I know, let’s sing! 99 bottles of beer on the wall…’
Luann – Ok, which one of the Wonder Pets is Dirk?
MT – I feel let down here today…
MW – ‘To serve man is a cookbook!‘
chollingDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:15 am [Reply]
Do you really think Pluggers would know any high-falutin’ French words like “entendre”?
Ms. TakeDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:17 am [Reply]
MW – Jill is stealing the ketchup!
flodnakDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:20 am [Reply]
I suppose it’s too much to ask that Bruce Tinsley (he who writes and draws Mallard Fillmore) ever do any research before making a strip, but if he really loves “A Charlie Brown Christmas” so much, you’d think he could remember something that resembles what Linus actually says….
Doctor HandsomeDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:20 am [Reply]
Did Mary and Adrian teleport to the other side of the room between panels, or did Scott and Jeff forcibly turn Jill around to more directly face the reader (while keeping Mary in-frame), as if to say, “See, America? See what happens when you DON’T BELIEVE IN LOVE?!!”
CanuckDownSouthDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:22 am [Reply]
Ah, Judge Parker, AKA The Unbearable Smugness of Being…
HibbletonDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:26 am [Reply]
Luann: “Gort! klaatu barada nikto”.
spikeDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:27 am [Reply]
MW: Poor Jill! She’s confused a bottle of wine and a bottle of ketchup.
Phantom: Avoid the rush, Girl! Die, Warden! Die!
JP: Abbey just loves it when Sam talks dirty to her, doesn’t she?
SM: This is gonna be a retelling of Demeter and Persephone, isn’t it? After Melvin offers Aunt May the seven pomegrante seeds and she consumes ‘em, she’s gonna have to visit him for seven months every year. MJ will wish she’d been smart enough to follow May’s lead…
@Ms. Take (#9): Ya beat me to the punch! Kudos.
maltaDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:28 am [Reply]
Ah, but don’t you see that the Pluggers panel is actually depicting a sex scene? Rhinoguy and Dogman are part of a furry sex group that enjoys a group orgy at the bowling alley. Dogman is surprised that Rhinoguy is leaving early, after obviously having all sorts of unspeakable kinky fun with his ball during the first two “games.” Clearly, you urbanites don’t spend enough time at bowling alleys, or you would know about the kinky group orgies.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:31 am [Reply]
Frazz: call-back to a classic C&H.
A&J: hehehe. Arlo, you cad.
Candorville: o goddess, Lamont as Les-centric member of a love-dodecahedron that he wasn’t even aware of! *does a Petey on right arm*
CdS: om nom nom!
IP: man, what I wouldn’t give for a Black Adam beat down of the Captain.
Lio: HEEEE!
9CL: fresh morels?!? dem’s expensive if you don’t pick them yourself.
GF: Bucky, unclear on the concept of Ceiling Cat.
R&R: sadly far too soon for the Youtube version with the TranSiberian Orchestra soundtrack.
SFx: none of those unscramble to “HOOPTY”
Zits: EWW!!!! That being said, it’s been several years since the whole “sharing cosmetic contacts” issue was big, and it’s nice to see RichandAmy again.
standard oversnark disclaimer.
zenveloDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:32 am [Reply]
@cholling (#8): really, the only time a plugger uses the word entendre is when they’re at McDonalds, as in “Chick entendres”.
HibbletonDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:34 am [Reply]
DT: Dick hates elitist, ivy league educated serial killers worst of all.
“I’ll take an honest, blue collar type mass murderer any day. You and your fancy shmancy face mask”
December 8th, 2010 at 10:35 am [Reply]
Does Mary Worth deal in unrequited gay crushes? That would be a legit storyline, and it seems like that’s where this is going, but isn’t Mary Worth a little on the timid side to be trading in such adult concepts? And for Mary herself to consider such a possibility – well, to crib from John Cheever, you might as well tell her the moon is made of green cheese.
JalibenDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:39 am [Reply]
MW: I like the way Scott’s facial expression softens considerably in panel two, like he’s thinking “Well, she’s right about lies. Maybe we should let her stay.”
MartinDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:40 am [Reply]
Jill’s obviously grabbed the bottle mistaking it for the microphone and launched into a spirited rendition of ‘Save Yourself (Don’t Believe In Lies)’ by Bonnie Tyler.
DiggerDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:42 am [Reply]
Despite Jill’s wild ramblings as she’s dragged from the room by the Men In Orange, I’m left with one overriding question: How did the wine bottle get re-corked?
jvwaltDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:44 am [Reply]
Nice wheels, Detective Tracy! Nothing says “transport a deranged lunatic through a bitter storm” like a 1996 Taurus.
Krazy KatDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:45 am [Reply]
Wait, is double entendre hyphenated? I don’t know either, but I like that you’re hedging your bets.
I love the look of horror on the Plugger’s bowling companion’s face. We may not have read the caption first, but HE evidently did.
K. Ivan RuppertDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:46 am [Reply]
I read something tonight that blew my mind. I know now why Luann’s Brad and Toni’s relationship has been moving at such a glacially slow pace, while comments characters have made sound like they’re moving dangerously fast. Greg Evans has apparently said in interviews that time moves really slowly inside the comic, to the point of about one month inside being equal to one year real time. So, that being the case, Brad and Toni haven’t been together two or three years, they’ve been together two or three [i]months[/i].
Of course, this makes Brad and Toni’s relationship horrible in all new ways. If I were in a three-month relationship that felt like three years, I’d probably [i]start[/i] a fire so I could jump into it.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:47 am [Reply]
@KarMann (#y259): *strikes a Sam Driver pose with said cee-gar.*
Scott BotDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:47 am [Reply]
FW – Since when do they have Powerpoint presentations for a book tour? Maybe I’m completely wrong on this, but I thought it was an author sitting at a table signing books, as well as a few radio and television interviews.
Of course, Les could be picking up a little extra money selling Amway along with promoting his book. That would explain the projector.
TheDivaDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:48 am [Reply]
DT: Yeah, I hate forced small talk in the car too.
FW: It’s funny because all The Kids These Days know everything there is to know about Soulless Modern Technology, which is right as both are evil and a plague on the Illustrious Boomer Generation Who Have Attained Perfection And Enlightenment.
Luann: If this ends with Nancy going all cougar for Dirk, I’m going to vomit up my intestines.
MW: It’s been suggested Jill has an unrequited amour for Scott, but after this week’s drunken rant I think it’s the opposite–she’s Scott’s ex-wife, and knows his professions of dull uninteresting love are just a cover for those nights when he sneaks down to the docks where the men dress as ladies. Having found the most oblivious and easily deceived person in the world in Adrian, Scott is certain he’ll be able to keep up his indiscretions indefinitely–provided Jill doesn’t spill the beans. So he manhandles her towards the door with a mask of forced calm aided by Dr. Jeff, who knows that if Scott’s dark secrets come to light his own forbidden romance with Scott’s father will follow suit.
Just Call Me EDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:53 am [Reply]
Hmmmm…. apparently there is now an Archie alternative universe in Westview, Ohio: Archie Gets Married and Goes to Hell
spikeDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:53 am [Reply]
9CL: Wait a minute! Edda’s gaping maw of yesterday was all about Seth’s sudden affinity for Brussels sprouts?!?
Terry in MarylandDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:54 am [Reply]
MW: I’m hoping that Scott uses his department issued Taser on Jill.
RichterCaDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:56 am [Reply]
A3G- Let’s try a little thought experiment. We’ll say Tommie is about 30 years old. While Iris could be any age, she certainly doesn’t look 60, so we’ll be nice, and say she’s Tommie’s father’s younger sister, and is pushing 50. This would make Iris’s Uncle Henry most likely somewhere between 60 and 90 years old. Let’s be generous and say he’s 90.
Uncle Henry would most likely have been designing buildings in his 30s and 40s, or 50-60 years ago. Iris also says that “Uncle Henry’s buildings have been gone for some time.” While the phrase “some time” could mean any length of time, I think it would be fair to say that most people would say that 10 years is on the lower end of the range that it would refer to.
This means that Uncle Henry’s buildings were (most likely) designed, built, used, and then torn down all in less than 40 or 50 years. Now, I know that NYC is a bustling metropolis, constantly yearning for the next new thing, and constantly under construction, but do they really tear down buildings that are less than 50 years old that often?
LUJBEM FEJFDecember 8th, 2010 at 10:59 am [Reply]
MW- She’s faking it! The bottle still has the cork in it and she “spilled” her glass of “wine”. That bitch is just crazy.
Dick- Doc, could take a look at this? Is this chin normal?
December 8th, 2010 at 10:59 am [Reply]
9CL – Fresh morels? I thought that the entire premise of this strip was that a Creature of Pure Art is above mere proletarian morels? I don’t think any of these characters need a fresh set to tell them it is OK to seduce a married father of 11 just to get back at your roommate for vocally fantasizing about you with her mother. Their existing “whatever I do is right, because the unicorn told me that my desires are all that ever matter” set will do just fine.
We know that a Creature of Pure Art is never wrong, but it would be a great plot development if Seth’s don’tcallitgaydar was set off by a false positive reading. Maybe Roger has just bit his tongue the other day and it is giving him a bit of a lisp?
TophatDecember 8th, 2010 at 11:04 am [Reply]
This would be the best Mary Worth plot ever if they hauled Jill out of the rehearsal dinner, still shouting insanity and bludgeoning people with her ketchup bottle, and then we never hear from her again. From now on when someone mentions Adrian’s wedding in the comic, there needs to be two panels of awkward silence where none of the characters make eye contact with each other, and then they messily change the subject.
“… SO, you know who else is still crazy? That creepy shop-a-holic hoarder lady. I mean yikes.”
December 8th, 2010 at 11:07 am [Reply]
MW – DON’T BELIEVE ONDORE’S MARY’S LIES!
(Jill is kind of hot, though. Especially if she’s a lez-been. I’ll just mentally insert Portia de Rossi into the strips from now on.)
JP (revisted) – “Does Alan write good love scenes? ‘Cause God knows I’m not getting any.”
CambiasDecember 8th, 2010 at 11:09 am [Reply]
@flodnak (#10): CK, is that you?
MustangDecember 8th, 2010 at 11:09 am [Reply]
I just tried to post a comment, and I got a message that I was posting comments too quickly, and I was advised to slow down. If I got any slower this dark cold December morning, I’d be asleep.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoDecember 8th, 2010 at 11:13 am [Reply]
student fail. (this is your brain on drugs. . . . )
Fish-slapping is a learned behavior.
generic kewt, soccer kitteh and ikkle pup.
hover-corgi is still learning to hover.
mah sexxxay pose (4bb,u)
Johnny KnucklesDecember 8th, 2010 at 11:16 am [Reply]
M.W. Jill will soon be sporting some awesome grip bruises on her arms for the wedding. If there’s a God in Heaven, Jill will attend the wedding. Hopefully she has more to say (and drink) when the minister says “speak now or forever hold your peace”.
spikeDecember 8th, 2010 at 11:18 am [Reply]
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#34): Have you priced “mere proletarian morels” recently?
Artist formerly known as BenDecember 8th, 2010 at 11:19 am [Reply]
Pluggers: Well, Stanley Binder of Malden Mass certainly put it all out there. “Pluggers can’t get their freak on like they did when they were in their twenties. Sorry Honey.” Now somebody put it back.
MW: I made the Kevin McCarthy connection as soon as I saw Jill shouting at me, but I never thought “Body Snatchers” would be part of the official snark. Great minds.
DT: Dr. Mordred really, really doesn’t like the radio station Dick picked out.
JP: Sam’s fictional counterpart is Hank Austin–the Six Million Dollar Douchebag.
A3G: “Henry Thompson? Everybody’s heard of him! He designed the hotel that caught fire, the bank headquarters whose bottom three floors collapsed, the housing project that sank into the ground…”
PBS: Who didn’t see that one coming?
MT: Nice Elrod overpowers Naughty Elrod and suddenly Mark’s nudity in front of Henny Penny is retconned away.
Ziggy: Everyone laughs at Ziggy? That’s news to me.
C-Shaft: So now we know for a fact that the other team will show up and that Cranky’s team will get their asses handed to them. Learn to keep your mouth shut, guys.
FW: In a rare burst of realism on Les’ book tour, his speech/signing has an audience of two. And they’re probably just waiting for tables to open up at the cafe.
9CL: While the stories threaten to push me out, the slit skirts keep me coming back.
Archie: Mr Weatherby is so busy inflicting new rules that he doesn’t notice his own wanted poster.
DtM: “Not like you and dad, that’s for sure. I mean, how many times has he called to say that he’s pulling an all-nighter at the office? You ever think of calling his boss on that one? Just askin’.”
Phantom: “Well Stanley, here’s another fine mess you’ve gotten me into.”
FC: The fedora is Billy’s drinking hat, but he doesn’t want to overdo it. It’s one thing to avoid getting carded, but too much and you scare off the sorority girls.
MarkTwailDecember 8th, 2010 at 11:23 am [Reply]
MW: I just hope the get Jill’s collarbones right on her inevitable pod-person replacement.
spikeDecember 8th, 2010 at 11:24 am [Reply]
SF: Who knew it was time for Ted’s 50,000 mile Reality Check?
fishmorgjpDecember 8th, 2010 at 11:25 am [Reply]
DT: Milton the Toaster is a mad-dog killer? It can’t be! Dick, you must have arrested the wrong appliance!
Roto13December 8th, 2010 at 11:33 am [Reply]
Oh no, Jill has spilled her silver goblet of blood. Nothing gets blood out!
Pseudo3DDecember 8th, 2010 at 11:34 am [Reply]
@flodnak (#10): Do not bring up that comic strip here, it’s a bannable offense!
Zort The MightyDecember 8th, 2010 at 11:38 am [Reply]
Is there a reason why Dick Tracy has The Ayatollah of Rock-And-Rollah in police custody? Aside from the numerous charges of gas-siphoning, of course.
HankDecember 8th, 2010 at 11:39 am [Reply]
@K. Ivan Ruppert (#25): Brad and Toni haven’t been together two or three years, they’ve been together two or three monthsTwo adult twenty-somethings have been dating for two or three months and the farthest they’ve gotten is a foot massage? And Evans considers that realistic?
vanyaDecember 8th, 2010 at 11:39 am [Reply]
FBOFW: So Michael gets detention for simply making a pun? Normally I would consider it implausible that even the worst teacher would be that petty. But since Mrs Hardacre is probably as tired of the Pattersons’ punny ways as we are, I applaud her.
HankDecember 8th, 2010 at 11:42 am [Reply]
@Johnny Knuckles (#40): If there’s a God in Heaven, Jill will attend the wedding.Unfortunately, if I know my Mary Worth, Jill will have been the subject of a Mary meddlevention between the dinner and the wedding (never mind that one usually only precedes the other by a day or two) and be completely cured before the ceremony
Zort The MightyDecember 8th, 2010 at 11:45 am [Reply]
It’s just nice to see Rhino-Plugger attempting social interaction, rather than a lonely evening spent pawning furniture or contemplating his own morbid obesity.
Artist formerly known as BenDecember 8th, 2010 at 11:47 am [Reply]
@Just Call Me E (#29): From the link you supplied:
But within just a few months, Riverdale has turned from a 20th-century middle-American paradise into a 21st-century middle-class hell. Is all this grit really necessary in a universe that has blissfully hummed along for decades without it?
It’s called writing!
LawyerbobDecember 8th, 2010 at 11:47 am [Reply]
FC: No, Billy, but it does make your ass look big.
MW: Jill is using this as an opportunity to grab a full bottle of wine on her way out.
DT: I think the Doctor speaks for all of us.
Little GuyDecember 8th, 2010 at 11:50 am [Reply]
9CL: Anywhere else, especially with “Juggs Parker” and “Rex Morgan”, that couch pose would be off-the-scale teh sexy.
Then, I remember the wise meme words of the late Steve McNair: Don’t put your Brussell Sprouts in the Burber.
DoodDecember 8th, 2010 at 11:51 am [Reply]
Just how do you stop a rhino from bowling?
Dondi's DadDecember 8th, 2010 at 11:52 am [Reply]
Dick Tracy is transporting the world’s most dangerous murderer, alone? In a normal car? Is that how it’s done?
Oh, and Les is on the Today Show for his first book, Sam is gloating over his fictional love scenes that earned a six figure advance for the judge, and Mark goes from toweled (we hope) to buttoning his jacket during the same sentence? It’s not many weeks that the orange and purple folks of Mary Worth win the comics’ credibility award, but they’re running away with it this week. Or perhaps staggering away with it.
AmateurDecember 8th, 2010 at 11:54 am [Reply]
S-M: Mole Man, I knew the Phantom of the Opera. The Phantom of the Opera was a teenage crush of mine. Mole Man, you’re no Phantom of the Opera.
Walker of DogDecember 8th, 2010 at 11:58 am [Reply]
@Just Call Me E (#29): “We had to make Archie culturally relevant”? I see…
Johnny KnucklesDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:03 pm [Reply]
@Hank (#51): Sadly you’re right. But in my happy place, Jill will never bend to the will of Mary.
ComcisFanDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:05 pm [Reply]
You know you’ve hit bottom when the blond men in orange jackets take you away. A delicate string of pearls can lend an air of elegance to such occasions, however, and perhaps make clinking sounds on your ketchup/wine bottle as you’re being whisked from the room. … Meanwhile, that sap Adrian is actually trying to refuste Jill’s statement in a friendly way rather than calling her out for the outrageous, drunken scene that has ruined the rehearsal dinner.
UncleJeffDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:05 pm [Reply]
@Ethan Shuster (#6): Shortly after President Reagan was elected, I was watching a TV show where they showed some outtakes of Reagan the actor.
The narrator explained how in the 1940s, movie makers could not show anything suggesting that people were having sex.
The clip showed Reagan coming out the front door of a house and chastely kissing a young lass.
Then the door closed…Reagan reached down and dramatically pulled up his zipper and then winked at the camera and strutted out of scene.
I read a few days later the White House had called the network and told them they were never again to show that clip.
December 8th, 2010 at 12:06 pm [Reply]
“refute”
Artist formerly known as BenDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:06 pm [Reply]
@flodnak (#10): Don’t go there, amigo/amiga. There’s a no-duck policy on this site. (Bad experiences in the past,)
ComcisFanDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:08 pm [Reply]
S4th: The question is, what would Sally want? I would know what to get Ted, and maybe even Hilary. After all these years, I have no idea what would bring joy to Sally Forth — other than her husband taking her to Paris.
DoodDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:10 pm [Reply]
Jeez, Abbey, let it go. Or read the judge’s book. What’s your next question, “Did they do it in Adirondack chairs like we always do?”
Torgo JonesDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:10 pm [Reply]
Pluggers: I’m a little freaked out by how the rhino is looking at that bowling ball. Based on the logic of Pluggers world, and the somewhat horrified expression on the dog’s face, that bowling ball may not be safe.
Luann: If Dirk and Mrs. DeGroot are about to make sweet, sweet love on the couch while Mr. DeGroot watches… well, that’s where this strip has been heading all along, no?
commodorejohnDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:12 pm [Reply]
A3G – This is sort of like a Dick Tracy plot, if the sudden baffling twists were replaced with gentle, drunken curves. It’s like if your 90-year-old great-grandmother decided to write a murder mystery.
BrS – Nice of the guy to remove the gun barrel for Tap’s closeup.
Crankshaft – There’s a good fifty feet of clear visibility in panel two. That is not a damn blizzard. Pansies.
DT – Why is Dick making small talk about the serial killer’s monstrous crimes? This plot is barely even starting and I’m already confused.
FC – What.
FW – Of course he didn’t, Summer. The machines should honor the majesty of his Writing no matter how he operates them, right? Right!? (You have to love the fact that there are two people there, and neither of them are anywhere near the front. I’m thinking both of them are there at the behest of someone else, but they’re too embarrassed to actually get involved. Maybe they’ll go out for dinner afterward, start a pleasant, low-key relationship, and have a few happy years together before dropping dead of Tragic Irony Disease.)
JP – Poor Abbey. Discussing the sex scene with Sam’s stand-in is the closest she’s come to intercourse in years.
Love Is… – The Blue Lagoon.
Luann – “Quick, move her spine around a lot!”
MT – Ha ha, what does Mark know about human customs?
MW – Man, here I was all ready to do an Invasion Of The Body Snatchers joke, and it turns out Josh already did. Well, maybe I’ll just express surprise that we’re actually getting to see some characters below the ribcage for once. Now if only those characters weren’t Mary and Adrian…
Phantom – Holy bleep is Savarna a good shot. Now, how did she turn the jungle into a firey hellscape?
RMMD – Ha ha, what would Sarah need with college? She absorbs knowledge from the ether. [*]
SF – I. LOVE. THIS. STRIP.
Dennis JimenezDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:14 pm [Reply]
Pluggers – CC/JF – I’d doubt that Brookins would resort to something as tasteless as a sexual entendre’ – I’m betting it’s actually a reference to bowel movements….
DoodDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:16 pm [Reply]
@Dennis Jimenez (#69): Interesting, considering the set-up is from Stanley Binder of Malden, Mass.
Artist formerly known as BenDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:17 pm [Reply]
@UncleJeff (#62): Hot damn. I wish I knew which movie that was.
TrilobiteDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:17 pm [Reply]
I think if I ever found myself in Santa Royale, or god forbid, meeting Mary Worth, I would make a sound exactly like Donald Sutherland in the 1970s Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
professor fateDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:18 pm [Reply]
@Just Call Me E (#29):
aahhh hit the wrong button – anyway while Archie in hell makes Funky Winkerbean look sunny in some ways, it’s still bad things happening to good people which does engage us, where as FW is good thing happening to self absorbed jackovs. and bad things happening so the jackovs can feel sorry for themselves.
MW: Go Jill Go!
MibbitmakerDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:18 pm [Reply]
Crank: KILL HIM!!!
ReFOOB: NO! One Crankshaft is too many! Come to think of it, he should get detention too!
Luann: Why doesn’t the awful bitch just marry the dangerous stalking hulk already?!
MT: “You, baby!”, replies Mark, who then suddenly grabs Kelly in deep embrace!
Then, vomiting ensues…
Marmaduke’s Mouth: “Top that, Edda Burber’s mouth!”
MW: The men in dark jackets then burst in, seemingly at the wedding party’s behest, taking over the dragging-Jill-away operation. The others there were among the few people that knew of their nation’s own Siberia for malcontents, where even terrorists couldn’t be sent. Mary exuded power with a crooked grin. “Interventions are for wimps”, Mary thought, long past the perceptions from during the Age of Aldo. “On to Stepford for our dear, deluded Miss Black!”
DoodDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:19 pm [Reply]
On behalf of drunken louts everywhere, Jill, we salute you.
AmateurDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:20 pm [Reply]
@ComcisFan (#61): Well, we are talking about the woman who responded to laughing, pointing, and insults with a pensive “Oh dear, silly is not the look I was going for!” Jill would have to bash Adrian over the head with that bottle to get any sort of a realistic response out of her.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:24 pm [Reply]
@TheDiva (#28): “Luann: If this ends with Nancy going all cougar for Dirk, I’m going to vomit up my intestines.”
better her than Frank.
but not by much.
Walker of DogDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:24 pm [Reply]
S-M: Aunt May’s accelerating rate of crone-ification will soon outpace the decline of Mole Man’s ability to perceive it. Seriously, May, how about some Oil of Olay or something.
MW: Jill, you’ve broken the fourth wall – now save yourself! Climb on out here, to freedom! We’ll find you a couch to crash on until you get your head together. Bourbon babe? Poteet? Come on, guys, somebody step up.
RMMD: June is nixing Berna’s raise? But they haven’t even gone through the quarterlies yet! It is a shame about the cash flow situation, though. All that Medicare fraud and June still can’t stay ahead of Rex’s eye-watering malpractice payouts.
Luann: Forget the couch, Dirk – your a sanitation truck is right outside. Fire up that compactor!
Jumb: Free of the bonds of Earth, its gravity, and its crushing lifestyle norms, two wielders of the right stuff claimed a pristine new world in the name of liberty. Guilt and shame fell away; pleasure and self-actualization became the foundations of their new utopia.
So while the squares at Mission Control looked on in horror, when they got to the Moon the astronauts explored a |T|A|B|O|O| |U|N|I|O|N|. Because in space, no one can get up in your face with their goddamned heteronormativity.
Ned RyersonDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:28 pm [Reply]
Pluggers reminded me of a song that I first heard performed by the Reverend Billy C. Wirtz: “What I Used To Do All Night Now Takes All Night To Do.” I didn’t know it applied to bowling.
HairheadDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:31 pm [Reply]
LUANN
NANCY: Oh Dirk, I feel your hard, hard . . . muscles against me.
DIRK: I’m just a God-fearing garbage man, ma’am.
NANCY: You’re so unlike my son . . . and my husband . . .
DIRK: (placing her gently on the couch) I’m sorry, Mrs. deGroot, but my heart belongs to another.
NANCY: Oh my! How sad! Is there any way I can . . . comfort you?
DIRK: No ma’am. You just aren’t equipped.
NANCY: What? What!! Look at these tits! (thrusts out chest) Look at these lips! (makes trout pout) And my husband . . is bald, and all he can do at night is floss his teeth . . over and over and over and over . . .
DIRK: I’m truly sorry ma’am. The time has come for me to admit the truth . . . I am hanging around your family because. . . because. . . I’m in love with TJ. (sighs)
(Frank, who is sneaking up behind Dirk, puts away the gun.)
McManxDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:36 pm [Reply]
@Hibbleton (#13): Ha, ha. But now every time I see “The Day the Earth Stood Still” I’ll imagine Gort in a stocking cap.
Mary Worth — Jill, as she is carried out: “Wait.. Don’t! Don’t!! Don’t taze me Bro!!! Don’t taze me!!!”
Nancy — Aunt Fritzi alert! (Is it just me, or is Fritzi’s hair getting bigger and bigger?)
Dick Tracy — Not having followed DT in the last couple of weeks, I was unprepared for panel 3. I immediately had a “Pulp Fiction” flashback. I mean, can you imagine Dick Tracy in a ball gag? (Shudder)
Walker of DogDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:37 pm [Reply]
@Amateur (#76): If then. “Oh sorry, Jill, did my head get in the way? Ooh, are we christening a ship?”
BDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:39 pm [Reply]
Jill, distraught over Adrian’s decision to get married, has decided to end it all by stabbing herself in the eye with a wine bottle.
Either that, or Scott is playing the “Why’re you hittin’ yourself?” game.
UncleJeffDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:46 pm [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#71): Sad to say, it was an outtake…probably now lost to history.
But it was really, really funny and The Gipper’s leer was wonderful.
Speaking of facial expressions…Manley is not up to the quality of boobage we saw in the previous artist of “Judge Parker” but there’s no one who does Sam’s “smug asshole” expression better!
ShoeboxDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:50 pm [Reply]
Woo! Mary Worth breaks loose! Hide the children, she’s got a bottle!
Actually, I think we may be approaching Jill’s angst from the wrong angle. “You don’t know what you’re saying!” screams Adrian, terrified that Jill’s about to reveal their decade-long affair, which Adrian broke off out of guilt during Scott’s coma, which would explain an awful lot about Adrian and Jill’s respective behaviour during this arc, wouldn’t it?
…Except the part where Adrian is supposed to be a functioning adult, but hey, can’t have everything.
odinthorDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:50 pm [Reply]
MW. — Ladies and gentlemen, we are pleased to announce that Hollywood icon Troy Donahue has agreed to appear in panel one of our cartoon strip today! Brought to you by Heinz 57™ brand Catsup, the Catsup which helps you save yourself from believing in lies.
bourbon babe, unbuckledDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:51 pm [Reply]
FC: Yes, that hat does make you look too old. But ya know what they say: It’s hard out there for a pimp.
BB: Uh, General, that’s not a scolding; that’s a proposition.
A3G: I’m pretty impressed that Trey can be an architect; it must be tough to look at all those detailed plans when your eyes keep going all googly.
MW: Despite the fact that this is all kinds of awesome, I’m still distracted by the matching jackets on Adrian’s dad and her fiance. I’m not sure if Sophocles tackled the whole “matching-orange-jacket” question, but perhaps her should have— Burnt Sienna Becomes Electra.
SM: I was hoping for a spin-off strip, but now I’m imagining something bigger: Coming this fall to ABC, a great new dramedy: May and Mole-Man! Join these two lonely souls as they negotiate the twists and turns of mixed marriage—she’s a surface-dwelling senior citizen, widowed and frustrated in her solitude; he’s a subterranean, half-blind super-villain, wounded by the taunts of a beauty-worshipping culture. They meet cute in a theater dressing room, and before you can “manhole cover,” he’s in love and she’s tempted to join him there. Watch these crazy kids find love for each other deep in the bowels of the earth! May and Mole-Man, diggin’ deep for love, this fall on ABC.
MT: Thank goodness we’ve shifted from the highly charged erotic atmosphere, the looming possibility that Kelly & Mark would make the giant-mutant-foregrounded beast with two backs; any more of that, and my internal sexual-fantasy life could have been messed up for good.
Écureuil ÉcumantDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:51 pm [Reply]
Pluggers: … Chicken Lady, eavesdropping in the background, morosely cups her ball in the knowledge that, yet again, she won’t be cradling any other ones tonight.
flodnakDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:52 pm [Reply]
@flodnak (#10): Sorry. Didn’t realize there was a history here. Powers That Be, please feel free to delete the comment if you want.
Torgo JonesDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:53 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#68): Nice MST3K Pod People reference! One of the all-time best episodes!
bourbon babe, unbuckledDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:54 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#39): Actually, I think that last pup is doing her best Kelly Welly re-enactment!
@Walker of Dog (#78):
Bourbon babe? Poteet? Come on, guys, somebody step up.
I think there’s only one person who can help Jill now: Helen Clark, where are you?
AmateurDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:00 pm [Reply]
@Walker of Dog (#82): Alas, you’re probably right.
Pseudo3DDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:05 pm [Reply]
Regarding Dick Tracy: Can Mordred even speak? Does he speak thought bubbles that may or may not require opening his mouth, like Marvin, or what?
Could be that he’s gagged or something, which, given his current predicament isn’t TOO out of the ordinary.
Buck RipsnortDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:11 pm [Reply]
Pluggers: Manimals in dark alleys w/ big balls. Yep, that’s Plugger sex alright, as long as you’re ashamed and secretive afterwards.
Luann: So does Dirk’s robotic expression/body language make this less sexy, or sexiEST?
MichaelDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:12 pm [Reply]
@Hairhead (#80): No. No. NO. NO!!!
CURSE YOU RULE 34!!!
BraniffDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:13 pm [Reply]
FC: Billy Keane, you’re no Al Capone!!!
Baka GaijinDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:14 pm [Reply]
@ComcisFan (#65): “The question is, what would Sally want?” Like, duh. A foot-long double-ended turbocharged black dildo.
@Walker of Dog (#78) on Spiderman: Excelsior!
“Goddamned heteronormativity.” Next Dick Tracy bad guy?
@Hairhead (#80): If only this were the plot.
@Écureuil Écumant (#88): Ha ha! Pluggerchickenlady ain’t gettin’ none!
Batman BeatlesDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:15 pm [Reply]
Luann – And IIIIIIIII willllllllllll alllllways loooooooooove youuuuuuu!
Mr. GobotoDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:15 pm [Reply]
Phantom: If this escape and chase were set to music, it’d be the Benny Hill theme with today’s panel 2 ending with a big “Wah-wah-waaaah!”
S-M: Finally a villain who can compete with Peter when it comes to feelings of inadequacy and self-loathing!
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:16 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#91): :-)
OCD has been on fire the past couple of days. I could easily have linked a half dozen more corgsquees that were approaching 9000, but I restrained myself. Wasn’t easy.
Pseudo3DDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:22 pm [Reply]
Also, in Mary Worth, Jill is setting herself up to be cornered by the Mother of Meddlers, Mary Worth, and her grief will be railroaded to a forced happy ending.
Rana the Pedantic Wet BlanketDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:25 pm [Reply]
@Hank (#51): Not only that, Jill will be the one to catch the bouquet, and will stand there shyly beaming with blush lines radiating out from her.
JerseygullDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:26 pm [Reply]
@Dood (#56): Dood, remove his balls?
teddytoadDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:26 pm [Reply]
Jill’s terror, the incomprehensible pastels, and Mary Worth’s thuggish look in panel two–did a frosty pompadour ever look more malevolent?–reminded more of cult 60’s mystery show The Prisoner, which actually would explain a lot about Charterstone. Maybe The Prisoner never got cancelled at all, but became Mary Worth, just as Velma from Scooby-Doo grew up to become Aunt Iris on Apartment 3-G.
Rana the Pedantic Wet BlanketDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:31 pm [Reply]
Although I’m feeling a bit of whiplash from the inconsistent plotting, I’m enjoying the thought that Les has gone from being on the Today Show to wrestling with his own equipment in a nearly empty bookstore.
Perhaps the clue lies in what we thought was a misspeaking by his interviewer – there is a much better, more interesting novel out there called Lucy’s Story by Wes Funklestein that they accidentally confused with Les’ self-aggrandizing hack job.
Walker of DogDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:46 pm [Reply]
@Ethan Shuster (#4) & @ComcisFan (#61) & @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#87): Eventually someone called the cops, who showed in their teal uniforms to arrest Jill. She was later convicted for anti-marital slander before a judge in a lime green robe, and escorted to jail by a bailiff wearing a lemon-yellow tank top.
Justice in Santa Royale isn’t pretty, but the outfits sure do pop.
PoteetDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:47 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#91): I agree. Helen Clark, this is an emergency.
teenchyDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:49 pm [Reply]
@Torgo Jones (#67): re Luann: I have no clue where this is going in the short term, but is it not clear from the portrayal of Frank in this arc that Luann herself will ultimately marry Gunther?
GypsymothDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:49 pm [Reply]
DT: So Marvin the Paranoid Android is the inhuman maniac mass murderer?
PoteetDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:50 pm [Reply]
MW — That may be the grossest-looking bottle of wine I’ve ever seen, which means it totally fits in.
Revenge of ChesnutDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:52 pm [Reply]
As far as “drunk” Jill goes, I think her erratic emotional state can be explained by the fact that she is desperately gripping not a wine bottle, but a fire extinguisher she’s been huffing.
PoteetDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:53 pm [Reply]
@Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#102): I’ll remember you called it when it happens. Unfortunately, my brain is already showing me the happy scene. Arrrrrrrrgh.
Zork The MightyDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:54 pm [Reply]
If there has been any confusion regarding Zork and Zort, rest assured, the answer is obvious: I am an idiot who cannot spell.
Zork The MightyDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:55 pm [Reply]
@Walker of Dog (#106): Justice is blind, and it dresses accordingly.
Rana the Pedantic Wet BlanketDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:56 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#112): It’s like earworms – the only way to get rid of them is to share. ;)
odinthorDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:56 pm [Reply]
#105. Rana, PWB.
[...] wrestling with his own equipment in a nearly empty bookstore.[...]
Brain bleach, please. Pronto!
Pseudo3DDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:57 pm [Reply]
What if Les’s girlfriends are just playing a cruel prank on Les?
He’s wasting money on plane trips while paid extras gush about his book. Meanwhile, life in Westview improves considerably.
IconoclastDecember 8th, 2010 at 2:01 pm [Reply]
I think the worst part about Jill’s outburst is that she’s taking the fire extinguisher with her as they escort her out of the building. “Don’t believe Smokey the Bear’s lies! You can’t prevent fires!”
Poor ThompsonDecember 8th, 2010 at 2:02 pm [Reply]
@mojo (#1): Since Roy Lichtenstein often gave his paintings one-word titles like “woof” or “blam!”, I wonder what one-word title panel two would get. Suggestions, anyone?
JesterDecember 8th, 2010 at 2:07 pm [Reply]
In honor of this Mary Worth storyline, I think the comment of the week should be a single person standing up and clapping in that awkward, rhythmic way that at first seems shocking and out of place, but then quickly triggers the entire internet to think “By God, Yes!” and join it.
Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending DivisionDecember 8th, 2010 at 2:12 pm [Reply]
Mark Trail: I saw today’s installment and suddenly I began hearing music by Julee Cruise. Let’s say we go down to the diner and get some damn fine coffee?
Joe, the Upper-Evergreen GuyDecember 8th, 2010 at 2:16 pm [Reply]
Luann: Looks like Dirk has finally found his MILF…..
Rana the Pedantic Wet BlanketDecember 8th, 2010 at 2:17 pm [Reply]
@odinthor (#116): GAH!
DoodDecember 8th, 2010 at 2:29 pm [Reply]
Only Dick Tracy can wring a confession out of a parking meter during a one-hour interrogation.
SpectraDecember 8th, 2010 at 2:33 pm [Reply]
Forget that glass nonsense. When you’ve found a good bottle of wine, hold onto that sucker for all you’re worth! (pun not intended)
Baka GaijinDecember 8th, 2010 at 2:42 pm [Reply]
Jill, Jill, Jill. You were halfway to a great dramatic exit. You were supposed to curse out the entire party, grab a bottle of Mogen David in each hand, then pop the emergency exit and slide out to freedom.
Calvin's Cardboard BoxDecember 8th, 2010 at 2:47 pm [Reply]
@Zork The Mighty (#113):
Ok, well that explains your comments Zork, but I’ll wait to give Zort a chance to speak for himself.
TSCDecember 8th, 2010 at 3:02 pm [Reply]
Jill is in more trouble than she thinks – Mary is clearly going to her jacket pocket for her gun in panel two.
Artist formerly known as BenDecember 8th, 2010 at 3:04 pm [Reply]
@flodnak (#89): Eh, he might and might not. Make your self comfortable anyway. There’s a fresh pitcher of potato-ade on the table.
Baka GaijinDecember 8th, 2010 at 3:12 pm [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#129): Comforting her with Potato-Ade? We want her to stay. jk
Phred22December 8th, 2010 at 3:13 pm [Reply]
MT: “You wanna help me, Kelly. Prowl the camp and tell me who’s really hairy here…I mean, facial hair.”
teenchyDecember 8th, 2010 at 3:15 pm [Reply]
@Poor Thompson (#119): “Jilt!”
Ed DraveckyDecember 8th, 2010 at 3:27 pm [Reply]
You’re a Plugger if somebody suggests bowling as a metaphor for sex and you don’t know what a metaphor is.
littlestevieDecember 8th, 2010 at 3:28 pm [Reply]
MW: I want to know what they were pouring at rehersal. I sure hope its Chateau Sam Driver or whatever the hell a narcissist like Sam would name his winery.
Ed DraveckyDecember 8th, 2010 at 3:30 pm [Reply]
Funky: Two bored people in a sea of empty chairs watching disinterestedly while Les Moore fails at a simple task? The new Federal “truth in cartooning” laws are especially hard on Tom Batiuk.
Jim OliverDecember 8th, 2010 at 3:43 pm [Reply]
OK, last time. This is ketchup. This is your brain on ketchup.
Any questions?
cheech wizardDecember 8th, 2010 at 3:46 pm [Reply]
@Just Call Me E (#29): Great article, if only for the line that the new stories about Archie’s married lives are “a teen magazine with the soul of a Russian novel.” So does Veronica throw herself in front of a train?
spikeDecember 8th, 2010 at 3:58 pm [Reply]
@littlestevie (#134): Review of Chateau Sam Driver: “There is usually far less substance to this wine, with overtones of chocolate, cherries, tar, burnt toast and pencil lead, and the complete lack of sincerity and friendliness makes the whole experience not worth bothering.” Jill obviously got a superior competitor’s product–cuts right to the chase of immediate drunken stupor. Any more questions?
Pseudo3DDecember 8th, 2010 at 3:59 pm [Reply]
Couldn’t help but notice the bookstore Les was in, “Brazos Bookstore”.
Sure enough, it turns out to be an indie bookstore in Houston. They should sue Batiuk for libel.
ComcisFanDecember 8th, 2010 at 4:00 pm [Reply]
@Jester (#120):
I’ll clap slowly and loudly, then quickly and in unison, to that!
Uncle LumpyDecember 8th, 2010 at 4:01 pm [Reply]
@Ed Dravecky (#133):
… you don’t know what a metaphor is.
“A man’s reach should exceed his grasp, or what’s a metaphor?”
– attributed to Marshall McLuhan
DoodDecember 8th, 2010 at 4:02 pm [Reply]
@littlestevie (#134): It’s Spencer Farms’ “Adirondcack Days and Smug Nights.”
bats :[December 8th, 2010 at 4:03 pm [Reply]
Is “crumb gutter” a real phrase, or just something that CdS came up with? I’ve never heard of it. Either way, it’s a wonderfully descriptive term. I intend on using it a lot.
Chip WhittleDecember 8th, 2010 at 4:03 pm [Reply]
Family Circus: “Does this hat make me look old?” “Why, it makes you look like one of the most dapper commuters on the Pennsylvania Rail Road!”
Hazel: Johnny Cash is Santa Claus! Tch.
Hi and Lois: Trixie foolishly displayed enjoyment and whimsy while in range of the Loisbot, who’s now going to go Full Margo Jacket on her.
Sherman’s Lagoon is, really, correct about moving. I might give it up myself except it’d leave me dangerously near Pluggerdom.
WIlly and Ethel: This is another excuse I need to remember.
DoodDecember 8th, 2010 at 4:07 pm [Reply]
Does Sam Driver drink to forget? Because Spencer Farms remembahs.
bats :[December 8th, 2010 at 4:10 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#26): well done! How deucedly incisive!
@spike (#30): I’m just wondering why Seth needs all the groceries. Is he planning to seduce and prove that Edda’s uncle is well and truly gay? Shouldn’t there be a pack of condoms in the mix? Considering Roger has a dozen kids, you can bet there ain’t any condoms in his medicine chest.
@Batman Beatles (#98): stopitstopitstopit!
black butterflyDecember 8th, 2010 at 4:14 pm [Reply]
9CL – it will be so cool if Uncle Roger calmly states that he’s bisexual, he is aware of that, but kind of prefers his wife to ballet dancers he sees for a second time in his life and slams the door.
bats :[December 8th, 2010 at 4:20 pm [Reply]
Although the Spencer-Drivers aren’t feeling the recession, other smug assholes are…
littlestevieDecember 8th, 2010 at 4:26 pm [Reply]
@spike (#138): I was wondering how many points the Wine Spectator gave it? I guess Sam’s wines are marketed to doods that think of Opus as their everyday wine.
Artist formerly known as BenDecember 8th, 2010 at 4:31 pm [Reply]
@Chip Whittle (#144): Better (?) yet, Johnny Cash is Santa Clause pole-dancing!
ElkMeadowDecember 8th, 2010 at 4:34 pm [Reply]
Re. DT’s “Doctor,” it seems that in comicbookdom that the more deformed the person, the higher their academic degree. Doctor Doom, Doc Oct, whatever.
fishmorgjpDecember 8th, 2010 at 4:39 pm [Reply]
On second thought, Tracy isn’t speaking to Milton the Toaster; It’s… it’s either Milk or Cheese (of Milk & Cheese fame)! The eyebrows are a dead giveaway. Okay, that makes sense, this being a mad-dog killer and all.
ElkMeadowDecember 8th, 2010 at 4:40 pm [Reply]
So Rex goes to work, has one patient, runs out of the office to talk to the mayor, goes back, closes the office early, and now can’t give an assistant a raise? Maybe he should start taking Medicare patients–at least there’s something to show for his time.
ElkMeadowDecember 8th, 2010 at 4:44 pm [Reply]
@Pseudo3D (#139):
Go see if there is a connection, like the owner is Batiuk’s frat bro or sister of his sister-in-law.
Black DrazonDecember 8th, 2010 at 4:47 pm [Reply]
Sam just keeps drinking from that endless glass of wine he’s carrying, doesn’t he? And it keeps changing colour. I’m starting to think this isn’t an artistic/colouring mistake. Every five he spends talking to Abbey is punctuated by his popping another cork. If she keeps up this conversation about poor quality pulp fiction, Sunday’s going to be spent watching her supple hourglass form walking away from his crafted abs sprawled out unconscious on the lawn, complete with close up on lovingly detailed drool.
DoodDecember 8th, 2010 at 4:50 pm [Reply]
Where did Dick Tracy get that sweet-ass ride? From the local Avantiorscherarighini dealer?
MikeDecember 8th, 2010 at 4:54 pm [Reply]
MW: Apparently, this strip only becomes good when someone drinks heavily.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoDecember 8th, 2010 at 4:55 pm [Reply]
@fishmorgjp (#152): Dairy products gone bad. . . .
Uncle Ritzy FritzDecember 8th, 2010 at 5:00 pm [Reply]
Agreed , and again I posit the question. What the hell went on in the lives of the Moy and/or Giella that makes them focus virtually entirely on the evils of alcohol? Their respective web biographies are pretty innocuous – no tales of a father spending every last dime at the corner package store, no mother hibernating up in her bedroom with Jack Daniels on Thanksgiving, no almost-prom-date driving drunk into the school gymnasium, nothing. Since I last mentioned this a few scant months back, we have had a dad literally die of the drink, and now this with I believe a return appearance of Helen Clark throw in there. What is going on? Handy plot device or something more? @Mike (#157):
Old School Allie CatDecember 8th, 2010 at 5:01 pm [Reply]
@Mike (#157):
Excellent observation. Aldo, that woman who broke Mary’s precious swans, Jill…
Alcohol abuse is the common denominator!
It’s tragedy and comedy all in one.
Baka GaijinDecember 8th, 2010 at 5:04 pm [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#151): Aaaaah. So that explains Adrian and her father. Gotcha.
daleDecember 8th, 2010 at 5:04 pm [Reply]
Fucking PLUGGERS was not funny any way you figure it. When my father, who would never consider paying for a cart, got so he couldn’t walk 18, his friends suggested he meet them at the 6th tee. I think he just quit playing.
He wasn’t at all happy, but didn’t use the drugs he’d stored up. Old age and pulmonary fibrosis took him in his sleep.
December 8th, 2010 at 5:11 pm [Reply]
Attention Ziggy: people laughing at your jokes is good; people laughing at your lack of pants is just sad.
ArchieNemesisDecember 8th, 2010 at 5:18 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#87): I’ve got bad news for your internal sexual-fantasy life: the scene in Mark Trail is clearly post-coital, as suggested by earlier posters above.
Evidence includes the sleepy and satisfied look on Mark Trail’s face in the final panel, and the way Cherry beams and glows with satisfaction as Mark dresses. Throw in the easy familiarity between the two, and the inescapable conclusion is that a good half-hour has passed between yesterday’s shower confrontation, and today’s strangely relaxed encounter, where Mark finally gets around to asking Kelly, “Why are you here anyway?”
Mark BDecember 8th, 2010 at 5:18 pm [Reply]
I can’t wait to see what the Dirkenator does next. I think they will switch to his pov, where you see the head up display in his sunglasses, where he clicks through the options … [click][click][click] “f**k you, Mrs. DeGroot!”
I expect the next scene will be Brad and Toni showing up as first responders and finding that Mrs. DeGroot has been permanently paralyzed by being roughly moved after suffering a spinal injury.
Mark BDecember 8th, 2010 at 5:25 pm [Reply]
And one more thing. I’m one of those who took several days to realize that Judge Parker wasn’t Spiderman. The quality of the art should have tipped me off since the red haired woman in JP is much more attractively rendered than MJP usually is. The smug jackass next to her isn’t all that different.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoDecember 8th, 2010 at 5:28 pm [Reply]
@Old School Allie Cat (#160): it’s a symphony, and a play. . . .
Islamorada GirlDecember 8th, 2010 at 5:31 pm [Reply]
JP If Sam and Abbey own shares in a winery, why is he drinking chocolate milk?
AustriaDecember 8th, 2010 at 5:31 pm [Reply]
A3G: Check out Scarfy McAscot’s face in that last panel. That is one heck of a face.
reFOOB: Hardly unrealistic. I had teachers that would pull stunts like this.
MW: Hahahahaha yessssss drunk people in Mary Worth are the best
SF: Amazing.
Zits: Holy crap, Richandamy!! I was starting to think Scott and Borgman had forgotten about everyone except Jeremy, Pierce and Jeremy’s parents.
Ed DraveckyDecember 8th, 2010 at 5:31 pm [Reply]
Dirk’s ultimate revenge is carrying off Brad’s mom for a torrid affair? I did not have that one on my Luann Plot Bingo card.
Mark BDecember 8th, 2010 at 5:33 pm [Reply]
One last observation–Dick Tracy’s car appears to be a Studebaker Avanti: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Studebaker_Avanti
Overall, a stylish choice for the old crimefighter.
OKStanDecember 8th, 2010 at 5:43 pm [Reply]
Dick: In the great tradition of visually “interesting” villians, such as Flattop and Pruneface, the writers introduce their latest bad guy – Gym-Bag Face!
Oh, #17 would be my vote for COTW! I had to voice it out several times in a mock hillbilly-French accent, much to the displeasure of my co-workers, but I got it after all!
littlestevieDecember 8th, 2010 at 6:21 pm [Reply]
@ArchieNemesis (#164): That would be Kelly beaming and glowing. Mark has never deflowered Cherry.
SarahDecember 8th, 2010 at 6:28 pm [Reply]
I feel kinda sorry for Jill. Actually I feel sorrier for Adrian; Mary Worth is touching her.
ArchieNemesisDecember 8th, 2010 at 7:02 pm [Reply]
@littlestevie (#173): There’s no slip like a Freudian slip! Apparently, even I have trouble believing Mark Trail could ever really be unfaithful.
Pseudo3DDecember 8th, 2010 at 7:08 pm [Reply]
@Mark B (#166): Yup, count me in of that group, too. Though that “smug jackass” seems abnormally calm for Peter Parker.
zerowolfDecember 8th, 2010 at 7:15 pm [Reply]
MW: For the love of God, have you never read ‘The Lockhorns?’ Oh the humanity!”
zerowolfDecember 8th, 2010 at 7:26 pm [Reply]
A3G: Did this guy get his cervical vertebrae replaced with a slinky?
mr 12 oz canDecember 8th, 2010 at 7:32 pm [Reply]
mary worth- i read the strip today and i say dam that second panal reminds me of invasion of the body snatchers my second all time favorite movie . i come to this sight josh thought the same thing too. DAM!!!! well anyway how bout jill escapes from the catering hall gets shot and killed by a driveby shooter . adrian calls off the wedding to she finds the killer .in the meantime detective scott and dr jeff go off and elope because those are the 2 who are really in love.
mark trail- maybe mark was just wearing a naked suit over his clothes thats how he changed so fast
December 8th, 2010 at 7:33 pm [Reply]
A3G: Is it just me, or do today’s 3 panels really depict Trey penetrating Iris from behind?
BenDecember 8th, 2010 at 7:36 pm [Reply]
Ew. I wasn’t even thinking of Pluggers’ caption as any kind of entendre. The part of my mind that deals with Pluggers is so far from the part that makes dirty jokes it literally took three more reads to get it. I was much happier when I thought it was merely depressing.
terrapinDecember 8th, 2010 at 7:37 pm [Reply]
Luann-So, Nancy has the hots for hunky Dirk. No wonder she hates Toni so much.
MW-Actually, “roomful of pod people would” explain the odd goings on in most comic strips.
Pluggers-You’re a Pluggers author if you think the process of growing old and dying is funny.
demoncatDecember 8th, 2010 at 7:37 pm [Reply]
Jill changing expression means not only has she figured out she wants scot to marry her instead but she also relized once the drunk haze has warn off she has earned the wrath of mary worth and her days are numbered.
zerowolfDecember 8th, 2010 at 7:37 pm [Reply]
Refried Foobs: Leave the malapropisms to the Melonheads of the Circle you rank amateur.
commodorejohnDecember 8th, 2010 at 7:41 pm [Reply]
@mr 12 oz can (#179): Now there’s an idea! I look forward to seeing Adrian accost and change clothes with a random bum in her quest.
Jamus The BartenderDecember 8th, 2010 at 7:44 pm [Reply]
Mary Worth: Wow…where are the Fingermen when you need them?
Seriously, of course you know Jill is gonna be taken away in a nondescript black van run by Martha Stewart, Inc., or some other mega-corp who depends on people getting mindlessly married for their well-being. The corporation’s, I mean. And she will be beaten. And starved. And then she’ll sign something retracting everything she said at the rehearsal dinner. And then she’ll be taken behind the chemical sheds and shot.
December 8th, 2010 at 7:47 pm [Reply]
Luann/Sally Forth: I’m thinking the time is NOW to give Dirk his own spin-off. “He’s a former thug who took to stalking and harrasment, but thanks to Jesus, he’s a changed man. DIRK! Laugh as he meets his new landlords, the Forths. She is scared of her own shadow. He’s just nasty. AND Dirk’s new roomates are waitresses from Hooters !! Watch as Dirk tries to discourage the girls from bringing customers home. ” Plus there’s lots of pictures of the girls sunbathing and the Forth’s coming in at inconvenient times….what the hell do you mean it’s been done?
AndyLDecember 8th, 2010 at 7:48 pm [Reply]
@Oavis (#19): If Mary Worth were to encounter a gay person, I can’t think of any way for that to pan out besides a plot where Mary Meddles them straight. It would be the best Mary Worth story ever! The series could just end right there at its peak. In fact, it would have to when the angry letters start rolling in.
Rana the Pedantic Wet BlanketDecember 8th, 2010 at 8:05 pm [Reply]
@terrapin (#182): Or Batiuk. (Re: your last point)
MustangDecember 8th, 2010 at 8:05 pm [Reply]
MW – Adrian eggs Jill on from across the room — “Hey Jill, you’re an idiot! Tell us why you don’t like love, Jill” This FUBAR wedding rehearsal is the most exciting thing that’s happened in Adrian’s bland little life since she and Mary went shopping for a calendar.
The RidgerDecember 8th, 2010 at 8:11 pm [Reply]
FC: I can’t understand what Jeffy wonders if he looks TOO old for. “Does this hat make me look old?” is a normal question – so of course a Keane can’t ask it. But “Does this hat make me look too old?” is a very situation-specific question. Too old for kindergarten? Too old to sneak into a movie? Too old for… I can’t figure it out.
MWDGDecember 8th, 2010 at 8:21 pm [Reply]
MW:
Someone please note …Scott has removed the end of Jill’s arm in panel two.
Where is Drew? Has he brought his Asian lover to the wedding?
I don’t think I have ever been to a rehearsal dinner where a guest hasn’t attacked the bride..these things happen… whatever….
What should happen next….
Scott takes out his taser to subdue Jill and then Adrian pleasures herself with it.
Adrian’s mother appears at the wedding as a blood thirsty zombie
We cut to a scene where Terry Bryson and Mary and other assorted “gal pals” are hunting elk w/ crossbows.
We have a flashback of Jeff murdering Adrian’s mother because she caught him in “playing my little pony” with Scott’s dad.
December 8th, 2010 at 8:29 pm [Reply]
@OKStan (#172): I nominate this for COTW!!!!
spikeDecember 8th, 2010 at 8:39 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#146):
Gad! You're so on-point re: 9CL. OTOH, so many of our fellow 'Mudges have already advanced their [cooly snarky] opinions on the subject! Yes!!!!
December 8th, 2010 at 8:42 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#146): Uncle Roger has only 11 (eleven) children. I think “the number” in this case would be either 12 (perfect dozen) or 13 (“Baker’s Dozen”) to be significant to Brooke.
spikeDecember 8th, 2010 at 8:44 pm [Reply]
@littlestevie (#149): You’ve got to choose: am’s Chateau or Jill’s Whatever.
spikeDecember 8th, 2010 at 8:46 pm [Reply]
Duh! Make that “Sam’s Chateau” or “jill’s Whatever”.
PoteetDecember 8th, 2010 at 8:49 pm [Reply]
DT — “You’re a dead man, Tracy.” Oh shut up, Doctor. You evil blowhard villains are always promising us a dead Tracy, but none of you ever deliver.
PoteetDecember 8th, 2010 at 8:56 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#198): And I’ll tell you something else, Doctor. If I ever found myself alone in a vehicle with that smug idiotic pointy-chinned asshole, being bound and gagged and disguised as a giant toaster would not stop ME from killing him.
SideshowJonDecember 8th, 2010 at 9:02 pm [Reply]
Real Pluggers would know today’s cartoon is a rip-off of a 6-year old Toby Keith song.
Ukulele IkeDecember 8th, 2010 at 9:04 pm [Reply]
9CL: I’m just trying to figure out what Seth plans on doing with that damned grocery list. Roasted Brussels sprouts topped with mushrooms sauteed in butter and garlic, a light grating of aged Gouda, with a nice glass of Cabernet at the side? Or is he going to dump it all in a saucepan and boil it in the wine? Or is he hoping to be interviewed by the New York Times Sunday Magazine Profile page: “What’s in your fridge right now, Seth?” “Oh, just some Brussels sprouts, fresh morels, aged Gouda, you know.”
Fresh morels aren’t in season right now, although the chanterelles are just ending. Seth doesn’t believe in buying local.
bourbon babe, unbuckledDecember 8th, 2010 at 9:12 pm [Reply]
JP: I believe that the wine Sam is drinking is named “Vin de l’Argent de Sa Femme.”
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