"I can't believe you're calling out hot sexy comic strip action without mentioning this week's Luann! Is it because you eyes burn with shame and confusion each day this queasiness progresses? Because ... because I get that. When I saw Toni Daytona charlie horse humping Brad today, I called in sick and went back to bed." --Maggie
Main navigation: Advertise Discussion Forum About Twitter RSS Feed Search: Main content: « Soapy Monday Jill is the last sane person on Earth » You’ll stop getting Mark Trail and Mary Worth when they STOP BEING AWESOMELuann, 12/7/10
Oh my gosh, long-despised villain Dirk is suddenly going to become a hero! Some might find this to be a shocking turn of events, but it’s the logical conclusion of the same process by which the strip’s ostensible protagonists have become completely unbearable.
Mary Worth, 12/7/10
You thought that Mary Worth couldn’t get any better. You thought wrong. Panel one is a delight: I love the fact that Mary has escalated from a single hand to the mouth to two, and I’m practically hypnotized by the droplet of ketchup-wine suspended in mid-air within Jill’s glass. And then she gets out of her chair and karate chops Scott in the face.
Apartment 3-G, 12/7/10
“Yes, architecture, the practice of designing the buildings we live in every day with a modicum of art and grace … I’m sure it bores a bohemian like yourself to tears, as it does me. Oh, I’ve tried to really express my innermost self through my hobby, clothing design, but it’s about time I admitted to myself that my combination scarf-cravat — or ‘scarfat,’ as I dreamed of hearing it called on the runways in Paris and Milan — is never going to catch on.”
Judge Parker, 12/7/10
Ha ha, that classic Sam Driver smugness is still in full effect. “Some poor crazed woman out there who pines for me but can never, ever have me? That’s more intoxicating than this extremely expensive wine!”
Mark Trail, 12/7/10
Faced by the sudden and terrifying prospect of a woman in his room, Mark covers his genitals the only way he can: by bellowing out the largest word balloon his lungs can muster.
This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 7, 2010 at 10:09 am and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Judge Parker, Luann, Mark Trail, Mary Worth. | 303 responses to “You’ll stop getting Mark Trail and Mary Worth when they STOP BEING AWESOME” LUJBEM FEJFDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:10 am [Reply]
BAKA Gaijin- Look away from the Jumble and everything will be alright. Go to your Happy Place.
(yes #1!)
December 7th, 2010 at 10:11 am [Reply]
Mark- Was Mark planning on Matt to be in the room when he walked out naked?
SequiturDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:18 am [Reply]
@LUJBEM FEJF (#2): Yes. EH ELKIS TAMT.
StoutHeartedDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:21 am [Reply]
The first panel of Mary Worth presents Jill in all her soothsayer glory, holding her cup of blood and pointing a bony finger at the happy couple, while prediciting their painful collapse of their sickening love. But her fortunetelling comes with a price, as the effort behind fortunetelling has sped up her aging process, transforming her into a Circe-like crone. And I bet those lovey-dovey bastards aren’t even grateful!
AndieDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:22 am [Reply]
@LUJBEM FEJF (#2): Is there any doubt?
In other news… Is Jill some kind of shape-shifter? She seems to morph on a daily basis from being in her late 20’s, to late 40’s and back again. I can’t get a reading on this woman’s age. Maybe she’s nearing 50 and has already been through 6 marriages?
AndieDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:22 am [Reply]
@StoutHearted (#4):
See? I’m not the only one who sees it!
Scott BotDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:23 am [Reply]
Luann – Ah, now it all makes sense. After all these weeks, Dirk the mild mannered garbageman has finally revealed himself in his true identity of Superman.
Naked Bunny with a WhipDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:26 am [Reply]
Dirk sure is strong. Maybe we’ll, uh, get a nice shirtless scene soon.
Oh yeah, it’s still Luann’s art.
GidgetNDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:27 am [Reply]
Those clouds in Mark Trail aren’t steam, they’re smoke from some ungodly drug. In panel two Mark Trail believes himself to be a giant blue bird who is glad that Matt could guide him. Matt was never real, he was just in Mark’s head all along.
Mark BDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:28 am [Reply]
Am I the only one who sees that the width of the bookcase makes it impossible for Dirk to grasp it like that? Or do his super powers include the ability to make himself larger for a few seconds. And why does LuAnn’s dad have difficulty pushing an empty bookcase off his wife. Does he have some sort of physical disability we don’t know about? We know it’s not heavy, because it didn’t even crush her cheap stepladder. And how is it that several books remained in the bookcase after it fell face down. Were they glued in?
ElmoDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:28 am [Reply]
Cherry thinks something’s going on between Mark and Kelly so Mark is going to have a lot of ’splainin’ to do before this story arc hits the inflection point and crashes back to Lost Forest.
Naked Bunny with a WhipDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:29 am [Reply]
Jill, sweety, if you want to be invited to the swinging parties, just ask.
yellojktDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:29 am [Reply]
Mark Trail: Worst Porn Movie Set-up Ever.
SequiturDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:31 am [Reply]
MT: Ya know, if Mark’s looking for some good fishing, the pelican can really help. But on second thought, it’s Kelly who’s going to be fishing.
Chyron HRDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:33 am [Reply]
“What makes you think Theresa Delgado was in love with me?” Well, shit, man, just look at how suavely you toy with your Ovaltine. What woman could resist that?
Gloom RaiderDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:36 am [Reply]
I was kind of hinting yesterday at The Incredible Hulk when I said Luann should follow Dirk and his adventures. I thought I was being whimsical. Who knew?
Chip WhittleDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:37 am [Reply]
@yellojkt (#13):
Mark Trail: Worst Porn Movie Set-up Ever.
Still, Animal Planet has never been better, except for Puppy Bowl III.
ComcisFanDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:38 am [Reply]
MW: For better or worse, Mary is now looking compassionate toward Jill. It’s all been prelude to this point. Let the meddling commence.
FW: So the “Today” show did a satellite interview with Les while he was either in San Diego or Houston? Foul! This is one obscure author on a tour for the ostensible next “Tuesdays with Morrie.” (We don’t really know the content of the book, of ocurse.) It’s not the sheriff leading a search for a lost hiker or a fire chief at the scene of a threatening California forest fire or a politician standing in the Rotunda explaining how uncooperative the other party is. It’s unknown, ont-yet-a-best-seller Les, who would have to fly to NY for the interview.
Écureuil ÉcumantDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:39 am [Reply]
Luann: Comics physics at its finest, as some books were evidently still firmly in place on that downward-facing bookshelf after its forward crash onto Mami deGroot. Better yet, some of those books that are miraculously still on the shelf then fly centrifugally as Brad swoops up the bookcase, while others stubbornly cling to their perch in utter derision of all laws of nature.
Zort The MightyDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:40 am [Reply]
Panel 3 is a ludicrous representation of Mark’s true physical form. Not only does he have nipples, legend has it that if you place two quadrophonic needles on his areolae, they play a rich stereo recording of Stravinsky’s “Firebird Suite”.
ComcisFanDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:41 am [Reply]
Luann: For someone who hasn’t followed Luann since the bookworm incident, this is an odd non-sequitur of a strip. Why is Mrs. DeGroot on the floor under a bookcase, and why is Mr. DeGroot taking time from retrieving her to glance at Dirk’s muscley physique?
Wonkey The MonkeyDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:42 am [Reply]
As of today, I desire — nay, DEMAND — a t-shirt with a text box reading “After drinking too much, Jill makes a scene.”
Better yet would be “After drinking too much, _________ makes a scene,” where I could write in my own name in fabric marker!
Wonkey The MonkeyDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:43 am [Reply]
Now we know why Matt hasn’t arrived at Mark’s apartment yet: he got held up guiding a friendly pelican to the best local fishing spots.
MarkDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:44 am [Reply]
So let me get this straight – Mark Trail isn’t a talking animals strip? But, that pelican… and all the woodland creatures from before… oh, I’m so confused.
ComcisFanDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:46 am [Reply]
Andie #5: The same can be said of Mary. She occasionally appears to be youthful and almost (phlegm cough) sexy albeit prematurely gray, before returning to her default matronly school principal state.
Edgy DCDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:47 am [Reply]
Kelly’s eyeline
Kelly’s eyeline
I follow you to the Nirvana you seek
But get only word balloons
Word balloons!
Such is the nature of this syndicated unvierse
Where balloons carry us not to Heaven
But rather keep Paradise veiled
Wonder what Rusty is up to…
December 7th, 2010 at 10:50 am [Reply]
MW: C’mon, Scott! You’ve got your service revolver! Shoot Jill! Shoot her!! SHOOT HER!!!.
(And then plug Dr. Jeff Corey. God, I hate him.)
MT: All bats:{ needs to do is switch the word balloon to Kelly’s side and replace “KELLY!” with “DAMN!” and Mark’s secret is still hidden but is now part of the MT canon.
CarterDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:55 am [Reply]
MT: Sorry Mark, no Matt and no “good fishing,” if that’s what you kids are calling it these days, just some -ugh- woman.
Dewey's CoffeeDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:56 am [Reply]
Luann: Is it wrong to hope that Nancy’s been seriously hurt? Because if it is, I don’t want to be right.
DT: Hey, look at this! The plot’s getting under way! Boy, I’d forgotten that Dick Tracy had plots. I thought it was just people with grotesquely short arms standing around repeating themselves.
ShrugDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:58 am [Reply]
Censored last panel of today’s MARK TRAIL:
Kelly says “But Mark — it’s got SIDEBURNS!”
At least Kelly and LuAnn will now have something in common to talk about if they meet at one of Val’s hen parties in “Stone Soup.”
k#December 7th, 2010 at 10:58 am [Reply]
3G: On the contrary, I find the subject of erections to be endlessly fascinating.
MattDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:59 am [Reply]
I assume the talking pelican in panel 2 of Mark Trail is a shameless bid for a syndicated spin-off strip? Or perhaps like the Falconer, Mark exerts some kind of telepathic mental control over the bird?
UncleJeffDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:59 am [Reply]
Someone mentioned the web comic “Weapon Brown” the other day and I’ve been reading through its archives.
Very well-drawn.
The story is the typical “post-apocalypse, the corporations are in control, mutants roam the earth etc etc etc” but it’s fun to see the allusions made to mainstream comics characters.
The current story line has mutated versions of Calvin and Hobbes with Dilbert as a hapless/evil scientist overseen by the Pointy Haired Boss. (Somebody threw a hand grenade shaped like Dogbert)
There’s also been Charlie Brown and Lucy as a dominatrix/”behavioral specialist”, Zippy, Dagwood and even a large breasted (in these kinds of comics, are there any other kind of women?) Orphan Annie.
December 7th, 2010 at 11:00 am [Reply]
Although Jack Elrod has no control over the expressions that turn up on his characters’ faces, Kelly looks like she seriously appreciates what she’s seeing. Maybe she can describe it later to Cherry.
ApemanDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:04 am [Reply]
Mark: “KELLY! What are you doing here?”
Kelly: “I’m here to… Oh, drat! (Looks off panel) LINE!”
Jack Elrod-ball: “You’re a plumber’s apprentice and you need help learning how to lay pipe!”
Kelly: “That doesn’t make any sense! I’m a woman! I wouldn’t ‘lay pipe!’ Mark would!”
Jack Elrod-ball: “Who’s the damn director here?! Let’s take it from the pelican’s line!”
Pelican: “Pelican? I thought I was an ibis!”
Jack Elrod-ball: “Shut up! You’re whatever I say you are! Let’s get going people. We have six more of these trope-filled porn flicks to make this afternoon! ACTION!”
ComcisFanDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:09 am [Reply]
MT: Kelly? I think Mark actually is quite startled to find Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis in his room.
Apt. 3G: On the contrary, I find it so interesting that my index finger is buzzing and I’d like to examine your prostate.
Écureuil ÉcumantDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:09 am [Reply]
Curtis: I’m getting this weird premonition (courtesy of Tia Carmen) that “Onion” has suddenly morphed into a Vidalia. What, Kwanzaa came early this year? Is Curtis gonna end up with his very own Gollum?
That Library NutDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:10 am [Reply]
What is going on with the seating in Mary Worth?! One psmel Jill is right next to Mary, and the next, she’s across the table from her! This may be explained though, by Mary running to the other side of the table after Jill melts down, in fear of the monster that she’s helped create. YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN’T HIDE, BIDDY!
TrilobiteDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:12 am [Reply]
“Why, there’s nothing boring about designing buildings! Perhaps one day you can design a building for me, with elevators that have extra-large buttons that I can actually press with my ginormous hand!”
anty aDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:15 am [Reply]
MT: I know we all know this, but I still can’t grasp why anyone on earth would leave their motel room door unlocked, take a shower, then emerge naked and dripping from the bathroom knowing someone is in the room. I don’t like when suspension of belief has to be that high off the ground. Kind of like how a fallen bookcase that looks to be about the size of a crib mattress is such a big deal.
ComcisFanDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:17 am [Reply]
How can Kelly, panel 3, MT, be based on anyone else?
http://www.corbisimages.com/images/67/157A571D-97D6-4F64-9592-0BCED25B4703/IH031188.jpg
TheDivaDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:17 am [Reply]
The double dose of insanity that is today’s Mary Worth and Mark Trail really made my morning. Truly, I do not deserve such riches.
9CL: I would think the sight of that gaping maw would make any man deflate faster than a Macy’s balloon caught on a streetlamp.
C’shaft: Let him go, Pam. With any luck he’ll run off the road, get lost in the white-out conditions and end up freezing to death less than two feet from his car.
DT: Between the mask and the “chained, handcuffed, and sedated” line I’m having a really hard time not seeing this as the setup for a particularly kinky bondage erotica.
MT: Kelly’s wicked grin as she appreciates the size of Mark’s….er, dialogue balloon is what really makes this strip.
MW: I initially mis-read the narrative balloon as “After drinking too much, Jill makes sense.” Since she’s the only one to even touch on how awkward and inappropriate Scott and Adrian’s Meet Cute was, I found this very apt.
JP: That’s not wine, that’s silt.
SM: *snicker* Melvin? Your name is Melvin?
survivorDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:18 am [Reply]
#2 LUJBEM FEJF quite possibly wrote the funniest comment I’ve ever seen on here!
Écureuil ÉcumantDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:18 am [Reply]
@Mustang (#34): Kelly kind of reminds me of Curly (of the Stooges) making that same mouth and letting out that apprehensive “Ennhh! Ennnnhh! Ennnnhhh!”
I am Jack's usernameDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:20 am [Reply]
“Well for starters, she didn’t kill you! Anybody who meets you, or even sees you from a distance, really, is immediately filled with an insane urge to murder that smug self-satisfied face right off of your head with the nearest weapon to hand, or if none are available, with their nails and teeth. The only reasonable explanation that you’re still here with your face is that she must be crazily in love with you. Go figure.”
Just Call Me EDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:21 am [Reply]
Luann: I am calling it here: Dirk rescues Nancy. Nancy now tries to get Dirk and Toni back together again thereby killing two birds with one stone: Returning a favor to Dirk and getting her ‘wittle boy’ Brad back all to herself.
I am just saying…..the storyline practically writes itself, doesn’t it?
Thomas B.December 7th, 2010 at 11:22 am [Reply]
Luann
Damn Dirk is strong, he moved the bookcase and the interior walls.
JP
Expensive wine? So why is he drinking that glass of fortified Yoo-Hoo?
MW
I see Gatorade makes wine now.
MT
Mark: “Uh Kelly, I’m up here.”
—
I am so enjoying this Mark Trail story. And I know it’s going to get really funny when Mr. Furley finds out about this.
—
I’m not a veteran of Mark Trail so forgive me if this is a stupid question, but does Mark always shower with a fog machine or is this something he only does on vacation?
—
Apt 3G:
An architec named Trey who wears and oversized ascot. You know what, I’m going leave that one alone.
December 7th, 2010 at 11:24 am [Reply]
@UncleJeff (#33): most likely that was me.
also, that wasn’t a grenade shaped like Dogbert, it was Dogbert’s head. . . .
(yeah, Weapon Brown is very NSFW for oh so many reasons.)
I just wish I had the first story arc, it would help with some background info and the like.
bourbon babe, unbuckledDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:25 am [Reply]
MT: So Mark emerges, naked and glistening, in a cloud of sexy, sexy steam, expecting to find Matt? Yeah, I guess he was looking forward to having Matt “guide” him.
SM: Call me crazy, but I find this developing romance far sweeter than anything I’ve ever seen in Mary Worth.
FC: Nice move, Grandma. Next time, tell him that Christmas is just one town over.
JP: So Sam loves having his beautiful wife tell him how much murderous women lust after him? I guess we finally know what gets Sam off—besides large, unearned checks, that is.
OregonianDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:27 am [Reply]
Oh for god’s sake people… It’s all about the pearls. The PEARLS!
When Mary looks at Jill, she sees a horrible counter-vision of herself: improper, unrestrained, long-haired… and unwilling to believe in marriage! Mary is Ebenezer Scrooge being visited by the ghost of Christmas yet-to-come and it’s going to scare her straight. Expect her to say “yes!” to Dr. Jeff on December 25th, with Adrian playing the role of Tiny Tim.
SequiturDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:27 am [Reply]
@Zort The Mighty (#20): And his other areolae plays the Smokey the Bear song.
Artist formerly known as BenDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:28 am [Reply]
Luann: If Greg Evans is really committed to turning Luann into “Terminator 2: The Comic Strip” it’s officially his best idea ever.
MW: The wine is clinging to the side of the glass because it’s mostly blood. Somehow Jill got Mary’s order.
MT: So Mark was planning to walk out of the bathroom stark naked when he thought Matt the Guide was in his motel room? I’d say he had some kind of homosexual seduction planned, but obviously that would be giving him too much credit.
JP: “Let’s drink to lovesick psychopaths. Salut!”
DT: Times are tough so Bubba Smith has signed on to be the sacrificial black man in the horror movie that Dick Tracy is trying to be. Soon it’ll all be over, and he can take off the blood packs and go home.
6C: How to get back at your 35-year-old teenager.
9CL: Amos is going to keep kissing Edda after he’s seen her mouth go all frenzied piranha? He’s either very brave or stupider than a guy with glasses has any right to be.
FW: Okay so the slideshow was just a picture of Lisa and the words “cancer” and “death” repeated ad nauseum, but he also had Sarah MacLachlan’s “I Will Remember You” cued up to bring it home.
Popeye: Swee’Pea, before you go blaming Popeye, remember that kids are just cruel. And also you’re the only one in your social circle who hasn’t learned to put on pants.
FC: Jeffy leaves the house and Thel immediately gets on the phone to have the locks changed.
DtM: Gina silently adds “fleas” to her list of reasons to eliminate Dennis from the pool of potential boyfriends.
Crock: Crock turned into the BTK Killer’s dream journal so gradually we hardly noticed. Well, no one likes to read it. That’s the other reason we didn’t notice.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:28 am [Reply]
Love Is. . . . six months along at the nuptials.
NAoQV: I still liked my Tumbleweeds snark from yesterday.
AndyLDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:28 am [Reply]
Mr DeGroot is the most pathetic husband ever! It’s bad enough that he couldn’t move what looks like a pretty standard lightweight bookcase that can’t weigh more than fifty pounds, but if you look closely, the weight of the bookcase (such as it is) is not even resting on Mrs DeGroot! The weight of the bookcase is being supported by a folding chair. He could have just grabbed her arms and dragged her out from under it.
NoahSnarkDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:29 am [Reply]
Red head, smug expression, vapid dialogue – I didn’t know Judge Parker was doing a Spider-Man cross over.
AndyLDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:30 am [Reply]
Mark Trail’s naked hotel room get-together with Matt would have been magical if Matt hadn’t been busy riding a giant pelican at the time.
Shermy GlamrockerDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:32 am [Reply]
Wouldn’t it be awesome if somehow Kelly’s clothes fell off and the next four weeks consisted of strategic word balloon placement?
MarkTwailDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:33 am [Reply]
MT: Kelly’s dialogue should go:
[eyes gleaming] “Hi, Mark!” [Then looks up, bored.] “Oh, and hi, Mark.”
bats :[December 7th, 2010 at 11:34 am [Reply]
@Mark B (#10): all good questions. I’m just tickled to see how flat Nancy is, particularly her head (which wasn’t impacted by the bookcase at all). Then again, it might be the cactus in her eyeball.
@Écureuil Écumant (#19): I suspect the books still in place were there when the bookcase was purchased, Super-glued there to give the aura of “I have a bookcase. With books. I am a literate asshole.”
@UncleJeff (#27): today’s strip is open to so many possibilities that I already gave it two shots (not unlike Rusty).
StoutHeartedDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:36 am [Reply]
The current Mark Trail storyline is throwing a monkey wrench into my theory that it’s all occurring inside a squirrel’s dream. But just as OmgSexFacts informed me on Twitter that a high percentage of lesbians have dreams featuring heterosexual sex, perhaps the animal kingdom also dreams of bland, inefficient human porn.
GabachoDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:37 am [Reply]
Mary Worth – Mary made exactly those points to Jeff when she turned down his woosy proposal attempt a few weeks ago. Mary told Jeff that marriage would change everything and blew him off. Now, suddenly, when Jill says exactly the same thing, she’s a drunken slattern with no social decency? No, Jill is what Mary would be if she only had the courage.
PatrickDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:39 am [Reply]
That Sam Driver is fancy, drinking his Yoo Hoo from a crystal wine glass and all.
SequiturDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:39 am [Reply]
@bats :[ (#59): Woohoo! Cool! CC’s got instant replay! @bats :[ (Y#66):
doug rogersDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:40 am [Reply]
Woah! That is an awfully big Kelly.
bats :[December 7th, 2010 at 11:41 am [Reply]
@That Library Nut (#38): I think they’re playing one of those dumbass bridal shower games, something like “Duck Duck Groom” or “Listen to Mary’s Platitudes or Dare.”
@anty a (#40): but this isn’t a hotel. It’s a “fishing camp.” Things are different in “fishing camps,” so I’ve heard. I’ve never been to one, but I know at least one CCer who has and might enlighten us. ;)
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#52): re 9CL: considering another likely alternative for Edda’s mouth, Amos is wisely keeping it above the belt.
DanDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:42 am [Reply]
I’m in love! Jill is the perfect woman for me: drunk with very low expectations from men. Don’t you dare try to change her, Mary Worth!
SequiturDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:44 am [Reply]
MW: Adrian has her mouth covered because she’s busting out laughing.
ShrugDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:48 am [Reply]
@MarkTwail (#58):
MT: Kelly’s dialogue should go:
[eyes gleaming] “Hi, Mark!” [Then looks up, bored.] “Oh, and hi, Mark.”
************
Mark: “Hi, my name is Mark Trail, and this little fellow down here (gestures) is my secret friend; I call him “Mark Territory.”
SequiturDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:49 am [Reply]
Curtis: I’m glad to see “Onion” is taking Curtis under his wing to teach him the ways of da hood. He’ll change Curtis’ name to “Liver” and the town will be terrorized by “Liver” and “Onion.”
{I’m ducking now.}
Artist formerly known as BenDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:52 am [Reply]
@Mark B (#10):
And how is it that several books remained in the bookcase after it fell face down. Were they glued in?
Glued-in prop books to fool visitors into thinking the deGroots are literate? I have no problem believing that.
Mr. GobotoDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:53 am [Reply]
FC: Would that Jeffy’s literal interpretation of “Christmas is just around the corner” were correct and that he enounter a monstrous physical manifestation of Christmas and all that it has become in our culture, a fat, bloated Mammon stealing the souls of children and replacing them with love of lucre. Actually, it sounds like something Lio could summon into being with one of his inventions…
RxMD: For some reason, I have the notion that “Berna’s raise” is Morgan-speak for “gross luxury with which to indulge our crass crapulousness and self-righteous sense ostentatious privilege and smug superiority.”
Mandrake: Hypnotizing a vampire? That’s pretty badass. Dude must be an level-9 Illusionist at least. Still, I wonder how’d he do against a lich.
Slylock: Here’s one different. The daddy Inuit in Panel 1 is a creep, but in Panel 2 he’s a perv.
@StoutHearted (#4) re: MW: Speaking Circe, don’t you think Scott’s looking a little piggish in Panel 2?
@Écureuil Écumant (#37) re: Curtis: I think Curtis needs to end up becoming his own golem. I’m not sure how that would work, but the beauty (and horror) of Curtis’s Kwanzaaphrenic stories is that we don’t need hows or whys.
SequiturDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:53 am [Reply]
FW: Sorry Les, someone should have told you that Houston has new technology.
Les of the Jungle PatrolDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:53 am [Reply]
“I’m looking forward to some good fishing” is like the worst foreplay pratter ever. Thank god he saw Kelly before he started talking about tackle or bait.
Artist formerly known as BenDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:55 am [Reply]
@bats :[ (#65): Well okay, there is that.
Terry in MarylandDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:57 am [Reply]
You know, Mark Trail is going to get in more trouble for Kelly’s stunt than Kit will for his months of cavorting with Savarna.
BRWombatDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:57 am [Reply]
I just wonder when Luann is going to get back to focusing on, you know, Luann.
Wait… what am I saying??? Dang, I need to get a life.
The Divine O'FDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:58 am [Reply]
@Oregonian (#50):
Ooh, I think you’re onto something.
December 7th, 2010 at 11:58 am [Reply]
Wait, hold on a second–are you telling me that Mark Trail, paragon of nature-themed virtue, was planning on walking out naked to meet his associate?
In other news, I love Kelly’s expression in the last panel. “Hi Mark! And hellooooo Mr. Penis!”
TheTJDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:59 am [Reply]
I accidentally misread the opening caption of Mary Worth as “After too much drinking, Jill makes sense.” I still think the comic reads better that way.
SequiturDecember 7th, 2010 at 12:02 pm [Reply]
@Oregonian (#50): and @The Divine O’F (#77):
By gosh, I think you’re right. This is going to be the Mary Worth version of A Christmas Carol.
I can’t wait to see who gets the Christmas goose.
DanDecember 7th, 2010 at 12:03 pm [Reply]
I know you think you’re helping, Dirk, but dumping enough books on Mrs. DeGroot’s head to completely obscure her from the reader’s view is probably making things worse.
AnonymousDecember 7th, 2010 at 12:04 pm [Reply]
the same process by which the strip’s ostensible protagonists have become completely unbearable.
Become?!
MibbitmakerDecember 7th, 2010 at 12:05 pm [Reply]
@StoutHearted (#60): Is this OmgSexFacts edited by Brooke McEldowney?
A3G: “…I watch How I Met Your Mother!”
BBailey: Beetle is his sunshine. (Now I don’t know whether to be really touched… or nauseous)
Curtis: Uh… “Onion”… I think the colorist made it so you aren’t on a chair, either. Just sayin’. I mean, what can an ink-and-paper bully do to me anyh– OW! OW! STOPPIT!! HEY!!!….
FW: Something’s going wrong at the self-adoration fest…. heh, heh, heh…
MT: The pelican called the Jack Elrod ball “Matt”. Weeeeeeeeeird!
MW: Someone in the wedding party: “So…. anyone ready for dessert?”
OBH: For that crude chauvinism, he deserves Marmaduke!
PBS: Well, Pig, your nose is your shoulder now!
Popeye: Really? What kids wouldn’t find that cool??
sullyDecember 7th, 2010 at 12:06 pm [Reply]
Judge Parker:
Satisfied that he has smugly triumphed once again, Sam enjoys a smooth sip of his vintage chocolate milk.
JDDecember 7th, 2010 at 12:12 pm [Reply]
I know read Mark Trail just to see what animal can talk each day. Plus now there’s nudity.
MarkTwailDecember 7th, 2010 at 12:16 pm [Reply]
@Shrug (#68). Yes, it’s the only thing Mark’s ever used it for.
The Party SimDecember 7th, 2010 at 12:16 pm [Reply]
@Jumble Jeff (#2) That’s what I was wondering! Is that the reason he’s so shocked to see Kelly? “A girl! Ick! Nast!”
commodorejohnDecember 7th, 2010 at 12:16 pm [Reply]
@Dewey’s Coffee (#29): If it is, then let’s all be wrong together!
A3G – “On the contrary. See? I did a little skyscraper with my finger. Clever, right?”
Archie – That kid on the right is a member of the junior varsity Freelance Shame Squad.
A.D. – So, uh, B.C. has decided to turn into Ice Age, apparently?
Bizarro – It’s Tom Batiuk!
Crankshaft – Tell me that’s not what real Ohioans think is a “blizzard.”
Curtis – !?
DT – “Yes, that’s the last we’ll ever see of him!” [*]
FW – Why does he even have a projector? I thought book tours were more about interviews and signings. Has he decided to make the Oh My God Lisa Died You Guys Tour into a multimedia spectacular, with tumor scans and an autopsy video? (Also, good job with the blatant reiteration of “NATIONAL BOOK TOUR,” Keisha. You’ll do fine as the actress playing the dumb housewife in commercials who asks all the appropriate leading questions in eight years or so.)
JP – Abbey admits what we’ve all suspected: only the power of love can overcome the urge to kill instilled by spending long hours in close quarters with Sam.
Lockhorns – Okay, guys, I think that’s our cue. Who here wants to do a photo reenactment of a Lockhorns strip?
Luann – Oh for fuck’s sake. That’s not a large bookcase, and it’s probably not even real wood. It’s probably forty pounds of particle board and laminated cardboard from a kit, especially if it was flimsy enough to be knocked over by Nancy falling against it (wait, how would it fall toward her? Did she fall off the chair and grab onto the front of the bookcase in an effort to avoid the perilous twelve-inch drop? Dumbass.) I could lift that thing, and I’m a sedentary, out-of-shape nerd whose primary form of exercise is hauling old computers home from the recycle center. (I could not, however, remove it in one sweep of my mighty arms, as Dirk is doing.) Anyway, DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD INJURED!
MT – ahahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
MW – So yeah, Jill is sloshed and pissed, which is how she made the mistake of assuming it was Adrian’s call to get engaged to Scott. If that were the case, she’d be making an excellent point, since Adrian is a dumbass with incredibly poor judgement, but fear not, Jill! Adrian is actually marrying Scott because her dad is completely infatuated with him, which is obviously a much more sound basis for a marriage. Anyway, I love her expression in panel one. Is she trying to telekinetically manipulate the wine? I think she is.
OBH – The waitress gets to kick out obnoxious customers at her discretion? Best diner ever.
Phantom – I love this woman.
SF – Hil, you’re awesome.
SM – Aww.
bats :[December 7th, 2010 at 12:18 pm [Reply]
@sully (#84): we have a bottle of ChocoVine in the fridge, purchased on a dare at our Sunflower Market.
Now I’m REALLY hesitant to try it. Will I turn into a rich, smug asshole like Sam? Will I look like Abby? The mind reels…
December 7th, 2010 at 12:21 pm [Reply]
I have a feeling Trey is an architect, like George Costanza was an architect. The obviously false modesty even fits.
Ethan ShusterDecember 7th, 2010 at 12:24 pm [Reply]
Mark Trail turned into a hardcore porn comic so gradually I didn’t even notice.
AnonymousDecember 7th, 2010 at 12:24 pm [Reply]
Uh… no, areolae is plural, sorry. Hence my “stereo” comment.
Also, I don’t know about Smokey the Bear, but Mark does have a Hooty the Owl tramp-stamp. Luscious!
aloriaDecember 7th, 2010 at 12:25 pm [Reply]
MW: Jill’s behavior is exactly why I don’t go to weddings anymore. Not because I’m worried about someone acting up, but because I’m usually the lush mumbling in the corner about how love and marriage is a sham.
Ethan ShusterDecember 7th, 2010 at 12:28 pm [Reply]
Finding himself nude in front of a woman for the first time, Mark is about to be frightened and confused. “Kelly, what’s happening? Why is it standing up like this?”
Zork The MightyDecember 7th, 2010 at 12:31 pm [Reply]
@Anonymous (#92):
Oops, sorry. My Luddite brain refuses to properly operate this fancy word-box.
DavidDecember 7th, 2010 at 12:32 pm [Reply]
Luann – Dirk is so big, he generates significant gravity, so that books which were still in the case (held there by the dead body on the floor) stayed on the shelves as he moved it.
Walker of DogDecember 7th, 2010 at 12:38 pm [Reply]
@LUJBEM FEJF (#2):
Was Mark planning on Matt to be in the room when he walked out naked?
Yes, wearing a strategically-placed PINSENR EURL. Painful, but totally worth it.
DiggerDecember 7th, 2010 at 12:39 pm [Reply]
MW: Notice how Scott is paralyzed in fear as Jill elbows him in the neck: “Dear Lord, an unruly drunk is causing a scene! If only someone here knew how to handle this. Don’t look at me, I’m just a cop!”
JP: So are we to assume that anyone who isn’t in love with Sam wants to kill him? Because that makes a lot of sense.
Luann: Great job, Dirk. Now take that bookcase over to Brad and TJ’s and drop it on them.
Calvin's Cardboard BoxDecember 7th, 2010 at 12:40 pm [Reply]
FW: It’s funny, because he is experiencing technical difficulties with his presentation! PowerPoint, amiright!?
Tomorrow’s strip will feature Les discovering that the keycard to his hotel room isn’t working, BUT HE LEFT THE BACKUP CARD INSIDE THE ROOM WHERE HE CANNOT GET TO IT! Irony, meet thy master!
All a buildup to Sunday’s full-color karmic discovery when a routine TSA screening before his flight to Boston reveals that Les has stage-three prostate cancer! A book sequel literally just dropped into his lap, IF HE CAN FINISH IT IN TIME. Masky McDeath waits for no man, author avatar or otherwise.
Johnny QDecember 7th, 2010 at 12:40 pm [Reply]
I would have thought a quiet whisper would be enough to hide Mark Trail’s love-stick!
APARTMENT 3G: Trey Brooks is a boy scout!
Torgo JonesDecember 7th, 2010 at 12:41 pm [Reply]
Luann: Does these people have daily trash service? Does Dirk go through their house, emptying their trash baskets? Trash collection rates in that town must be huge.
Dennis JimenezDecember 7th, 2010 at 12:43 pm [Reply]
Luann – PREDICTION – Dirk molests the spinal injured Luann’s mom, while Mr. Bookca, watches in horror….
MW – PREDICTION – Adrian and Jill drive over a cliff, hand in hand in a sixties vintage T-Bird and crash into a women’s shelter….
A3G – PREDICTION – The late John Ritter in drag put’s his finger up the butt of a 26 year old cub scout….
JP – PREDICTION – Spiderman wipes that smug look off Sam’s face when he catches him putting the moves on MJ….
MT – PREDICTION – Mark sings Woody Heraldson’s Kelly song from Cheers, in the shower….
Adios Amigos – DJ.
Calvin's Cardboard BoxDecember 7th, 2010 at 12:44 pm [Reply]
FW: Les’ Powerpoint presentation consists of a single slide:
LISA’S LEGACY!
* Cancer
* Suffering
* DEATH!
* Autographed copies at $39.95 = PROFIT!
December 7th, 2010 at 12:45 pm [Reply]
JP: When I first saw an attractive redhead sitting next to a lazy, smug brunette jackass, I thought I was reading Spider-Man. I’m not kidding.
DoodDecember 7th, 2010 at 12:54 pm [Reply]
Is this Mark Trail or The Pelican Brief?
farfarawayDecember 7th, 2010 at 12:57 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#88):
Luann: Yes, how did the bookcase fell on her? Last strip she was ständing in an obscure angle on the left side of the bookcase and had to reach out to water the plants while looking out of the window to observe Dirk. Obviously she tripped over the ladder, dived into a somersault, turned her body back to the window, reached to the bookcase… well, no, wouldn’t work.
December 7th, 2010 at 12:59 pm [Reply]
@Torgo Jones (#101):
Dirk actually does it for free, and recycles their spare paper and metal products to make the shoulder-padding harnesses he wears daily.
H-BobDecember 7th, 2010 at 12:59 pm [Reply]
Will Mark Trail’s fists be rendered completely powerless if Kelly had a Brazilian ?
The FUNDRIVERDecember 7th, 2010 at 1:02 pm [Reply]
Jill’s human disguise seems to be melting right off of her face, which will fall away completely in the next strip to reveal Mephisto, Satan-analogue of the Marvel comics universe and well-known destroyer of marriages.
DanDecember 7th, 2010 at 1:04 pm [Reply]
@H-Bob (#108):
The real question is whether Mark’s fists can punch the pubes off a lady.
BennuiDecember 7th, 2010 at 1:07 pm [Reply]
So, let me get this straight (HA! ’straight’).. Mark is shocked to find Kelly in his room, but was perfectly comfortable to kick off his meeting with a random trail guide in a seedy hotel room, dripping wet and naked? Where is this ‘fishing trip’, Brokeback Mountain?
Thomas B.December 7th, 2010 at 1:09 pm [Reply]
FW
Now we see proof of what I’ve long suspected, the ability to tap into misery and despair is directly related to one’s proximity to Westville. If Les makes it to South America he might start telling funny jokes and regain interest in sexual relations with healthy women.
December 7th, 2010 at 1:11 pm [Reply]
@Les of the Jungle Patrol (#73): Evidently, you missed the Rex Morgan episode where they talked about “handling some trout”
JonathanDecember 7th, 2010 at 1:12 pm [Reply]
Re: Luann
So that’s a prop comedy bookcase, right? I mean, just look at it!
maxchainDecember 7th, 2010 at 1:13 pm [Reply]
If you need instructions on how to design architecture and attract the attention of cougars, check out the Enclosed Instruction Book.
littlestevieDecember 7th, 2010 at 1:22 pm [Reply]
JP: By the closeup of Abby’s eyebrows, I don’t think she is a natural redhead. I guess she is good friends with Miss Clarol. Oh and Sam, its ok to mix red and white wine, but not at the same time in the same glass.
SequiturDecember 7th, 2010 at 1:24 pm [Reply]
@littlestevie (#116): Color Monkeys. Gotta love ‘em.
CarloDecember 7th, 2010 at 1:24 pm [Reply]
Not to split hairs, but that looks like a blue heron in the second panel of MT, not a pelican.
Steve the PocketDecember 7th, 2010 at 1:29 pm [Reply]
FOOB: I admit this is funny. What can I say? Every now and then someone does the “kids say the darndest things” bit right.
Funky Winkerbean: It’s weird — I totally missed that yesterday’s strip took place in the classroom. I think my mind has started blocking out some of the worst stupid in this strip now, for the sake of my sanity.
Luann: This is the funniest thing I’ve seen all day and I literally laughed out loud.
Mary Worth: Wow. Remember when I said I hoped Mark Trail’s last punch was going to be impossible for the writer to top, so he should just quit when that storyline is over? Now I’m thinking the same thing about Mary Worth. This is it, folks. The climax of the entire run. A drunken Jill ranting about Adrian’s marriage being doomed because… she… rushed into it… after… getting… scammed………
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!
Isn’t that exactly what we’ve all been saying for the last month or so? That Adrian is a dumbell who’s caught up in a romantic haze and wouldn’t know a soulmate from a filet of sole? Could it be that… *gasp* …Jill is this strip’s Tiffany, a character conjured up to echo and thereby mock the sentiments of the naysayers in the audience? ……. This isn’t fun anymore. In the words of Calvin, I need to stop thinking while I’m ahead.
One Big Happy: You never notice that a strip adamantly sticks to a set number of panels every day until something like this comes along. The beat panel adds nothing.
Prickly City: Heh-heh. It’s funny ’cause your own website has ‘em.
Six Chix and Zits tie for “Worst Grasp of How Teenagers Behave Ever”.
Mark55025December 7th, 2010 at 1:29 pm [Reply]
A Prediction for “Judge Parker”. The home wreaking PR woman that Sam and the Judge(ex) will meet in NY is none other than Theresa Delgado herself.
commodorejohnDecember 7th, 2010 at 1:29 pm [Reply]
@maxchain (#115): And just remember, all toasters toast toast!
SequiturDecember 7th, 2010 at 1:30 pm [Reply]
Pluggers: Plugger Rhino-man ate a sales clerk at K-Mart (Blue Light Special) in 1988. It still hasn’t digested. Pluggers have the ultimate constipation. I guess that’s why they’re called “Pluggers.”
RutskarnDecember 7th, 2010 at 1:31 pm [Reply]
Say, there’s a thought–what if Luann dropped the smirking harpy and gormless buffoon that are the DeGroot spawn and fixated instead on Dirk, professional ‘ard man? Thrill as he pursue relationships confidently and unambiguously! Witness his ability to commit to a partner without changing them out with the goddamned tides! Breathe a long, fat sigh of relief as we come into contact with the DeGroot’s excruciating relationship arcs only occasionally, as Dirk passes by on his way to do something interesting, like sleep with someone or lift something heavy!
Shawn S.December 7th, 2010 at 1:33 pm [Reply]
Everyone, once again you’re missing the point of today’s Luann. Nancy DeGroot is laying unconscious on the floor under a bookcase! This is the time to pop that vintage champagne, not debate comic strip physics.
Baka GaijinDecember 7th, 2010 at 1:37 pm [Reply]
@LUJBEM FEJF (#1): Yes, FEJF, you’re #1.
@Shawn S. (#124): Dammit, you beat me by 4 minutes.
Uncle LumpyDecember 7th, 2010 at 1:38 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#121):
… all toasters toast toast!
But if you want to heat pizza in a toaster, you have to put the toaster on its side.
EricDecember 7th, 2010 at 1:41 pm [Reply]
Luann makes perfect sense once you realize that Mr. DeGroot’s full sentence was going to be, “Dirk! Help me lift this bookcase very carefully so as not to damage any of these valuable books. Any more than my late wife’s pointy ass has already ruined, at least.”
ElkMeadowDecember 7th, 2010 at 1:43 pm [Reply]
@Mark B (#10):
Even more so, look at yesterday’s Luann and you’ll see the laws of perspective bent so bad, you’d think you were looking at Crock. Nancy is watering the plants while standing on a stepstool that is located behind the bookscase, which is up against the wall while she is looking out of the window at the same time. There is no way out side of a “possessed house” bad movie that that bookcase could have fallen on her. I’m sure that the bookcase has been there for a long while, so why would it suddenly move now, and make a 90 degree rotation while doing so?
NekrotzarDecember 7th, 2010 at 1:43 pm [Reply]
Thanks for moving the bookcase for me, Dirk. Now, can you help me wipe up this blood and dispose of the body?
Baka GaijinDecember 7th, 2010 at 1:49 pm [Reply]
Slylock Fox: Reeky Rat stole the fish from the bird’s mouth. You just know he did.
Pluggers: From the reminiscent look in Rhinoman’s heavy-lidded eye, he got that gut from cases of post-toking Twinkees and Doritos.
Luann: Bookcase courtesy of Ikea’s “balsaträ och spotta” collection. That’s “balsa wood and spit” to those not native to Göteborg.
Archie: With all the troubles of the world, it’s nice to see our president take time out of his busy schedule for a cameo in Archie.
Luann again: On second thought, that bookcase is courtesy of Ikea’s “House of Stairs by Escher” collection.
ElkMeadowDecember 7th, 2010 at 1:49 pm [Reply]
Calvin’s Cardboard Box @ #99
Actually, if TSA was able to spot possible cancers and suggest that the screenee have it looked into, having a “free” cancer check-up might make the process less objectionable.
AustriaDecember 7th, 2010 at 1:50 pm [Reply]
Arch: YOU WILL NEVER BE EDGEWORTH NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY
reFOOB: I think her name is “Mrs. Claus”….
Luann: I was hoping for a face full of cactus, but I’m not complaining, this works too. Thank you, mighty deities of newspaper comics.
MT: Dang, I wanted some Jackelrod ball censorship. But speech bubbles work too.
PBS: I thought it was called Punchbuggy?
RMMD: Blah blah blah no prostates or Pacebook = UNINTERESTING. Come on, RMMD, get with the program. Mark Trail and Mary Worth are being more interesting than you!!
SF: Go find JulesFrance. He’ll make you French footwear. Problem solved.
SequiturDecember 7th, 2010 at 1:53 pm [Reply]
@Uncle Lumpy (#126): Doh!
Walker of DogDecember 7th, 2010 at 2:01 pm [Reply]
Phan: Bloodlust and the responsible use of hearing protection when firing large-caliber weaponry? Savarna is tagging all the bases in my personal ballfield today.
FW: Why don’t any of these bookshelves fall over? Thanks a lot, OSHA.
RMMD: “Quarterlies”? Berna and June have the strangest menstrual cycles.
MW: All the mouth-covering and grim faces – Jill, on top of everything else, are the hors d’oeuvres not agreeing with you?
MT: “I’ll be out”? “Shortly”? So Mark is going to declare his true orientation (brace yourselves), but he doesn’t want Matt to get his hopes up.
S_M: Ishmaels all over the world, rejoice: you no longer have the most annoying name-and-introduction association.
Luann: Dirk, a real hero would set a better example for the kids and LIFT WITH HIS LEGS.
A3G: Aunt Iris is waving that finger around like she’s expecting someone to lean in and smell it…Oh, all right…
AnonymousDecember 7th, 2010 at 2:02 pm [Reply]
Ah, Kelly Welley, Kelly Welley, how we’ve missed you. You are the only compelling character in this strip and in between your visits to the storyline, we are forced to bestowe that title on Andy. We love you, Kelly (may I call you Mayhem?), for your self-centeredness and your complete lack of restraint and just plain cluelessness. In short, you remind us of us. Only a below-the-waist deader like Mark would choose an anal retentive, do gooder, like Cherry, over a fun-loving hottie like you.
Welcome back, Kelly, and bless you!
December 7th, 2010 at 2:08 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#130): Post-toke? I always thought Pluggers cut out the middle-/pusher-man and straightup freebased Dorito powder and mainlined Twinkie filling.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoDecember 7th, 2010 at 2:09 pm [Reply]
For the folks who don’t follow The Daily Cartoonist, there are a pair of interesting posts/links today, one being an appearance on The Colbert Report by Garry Trudeau hawking his 40 year retrospective, and the other being a rather “unfocused” podcast-style discussion between Bill Amend and Darby Conley (Foxtrot & Get Fuzzy, respectively) about cartooning. The interesting part is right at the very end, where Darby reveals why Rob NEVER LEAVES THE APARTMENT!
http://dailycartoonist.com/
tb4000December 7th, 2010 at 2:10 pm [Reply]
Luann: Face down, ass up…that’s the way Nancy likes to became critically injured and a possible quadraplegic. I guess you had to be there.
Baka GaijinDecember 7th, 2010 at 2:12 pm [Reply]
@Mr. Goboto (#136): Come to think about it, you’re right.
Black DrazonDecember 7th, 2010 at 2:24 pm [Reply]
“On the contrary! As it happens, I’m in the market for an architect, one with… experience moving large… pieces of furniture like… pianos and… duuude. …My hand is huuuuuuge.”
SequiturDecember 7th, 2010 at 2:24 pm [Reply]
Sherman’s Lagoon: Hey! They adopted our company’s management style!
Red GreenbackDecember 7th, 2010 at 2:36 pm [Reply]
JP:
Oh, I love Bosco!
That’s the drink for me!
MW:
That’s not an “Oh, my!” two hands to the face gesture. I do believe it’s a “Oh shit, I didn’t use enough Poligrip!” gesture.
December 7th, 2010 at 2:41 pm [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#131):
Y’know, I think the government does most things very poorly, but when it comes to the activity needed for a prostate exam, I think government may be the best provider, as it fits in perfectly (sic) with what they do on a regular basis.
Rana the Pedantic Wet BlanketDecember 7th, 2010 at 2:42 pm [Reply]
Why is Les attempting to give some sort of PowerPoint presentation? It’s a friggin’ book tour! You usually read a part of your book, chat with the audience, sign copies… just like he’s been doing up to this point. What the hell does he need visual aids for?
“And this is my wife Lisa… before she was STRUCK BY CANCER.”
“Here she is, WITH CANCER.”
“This is a picture of her grave…”
“This is a picture of me dancing on it while caressing all the money I’m getting from suckers like you…”
“Here she is as a ghost overseeing my sex life…”
DanDecember 7th, 2010 at 2:45 pm [Reply]
@Black Drazon (#140):
OMG, she must have had Andre the Giants hands grafted on after she lost hers.
Who needs flowers? They’re already dead when you buy them. Just like your hands, which I have in this box in the trunk.
SequiturDecember 7th, 2010 at 2:56 pm [Reply]
Meanwhile, on the penguin front…
I did not know penguins were like cats.
Mr. GobotoDecember 7th, 2010 at 3:01 pm [Reply]
@Red Greenback (#142) Re: MW: My thought was that her demon-teeth are showing since her infernal heritage tends to manifest in the presence of negative psychic energy.
@Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#144):
“Here she is as a ghost overseeing my sex life…”
The audience will find that slide the particularly discomfiting because all it will show is Les sitting in front of a life-sized photo of Lisa and masturbating with dumpstered biopsy waste.
greghousesgfDecember 7th, 2010 at 3:04 pm [Reply]
the pelican is talking!!
Rana the Pedantic Wet BlanketDecember 7th, 2010 at 3:04 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#88): Clearly, we think along similar lines…
Victor VonDecember 7th, 2010 at 3:06 pm [Reply]
@LUJBEM FEJF (#2): Yeah, that was my first question, too. Maybe he doesn’t care as much if men find out he’s a sexless homunculus?
Victor VonDecember 7th, 2010 at 3:09 pm [Reply]
@greghousesgf (#148): Actually, Mark is evidently some kind of ventriloquism prodigy. Sometimes it’s the back of a pelican’s neck that speaks, sometimes it’s his own groin. We’re just lucky he didn’t try out his act in the third panel instead of the second one.
commodorejohnDecember 7th, 2010 at 3:09 pm [Reply]
@Mr. Goboto (#147): Just pray Les doesn’t make the move from Writing into performance art…
@Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#149): Well, someone has to do Batiuk’s thinking and research for him!
BowToTheBardDecember 7th, 2010 at 3:10 pm [Reply]
Of all the topics I’d expect the creators of Mary Worth to have knowledge of, drunken kung-fu would not have topped the list.
Thomas B.December 7th, 2010 at 3:14 pm [Reply]
The impossible perspectives. The disappearing walls and windows. The furniture that changes location and size on it’s own accord. It all makes sense, the DeGroots live in Charterstone.
—-
Jill’s face in panel 2 is doing the Mad Magazine fold-in thing.
December 7th, 2010 at 3:16 pm [Reply]
Cripes, you call that a ((hic)) scene? That’s not a scene. Hell, I could make a better goddamned scene with just one martini in me! No drinks thrown in faces? No tables overturned? No ((hic)) SWAT team?
Between this and no cocktail weenies, I’m pretty damned disappointed in this whole ((hic)) shindig.
Bob Dole's RevengeDecember 7th, 2010 at 3:18 pm [Reply]
That’s an ascot? I thought Trey couldn’t find a necktie, so he just tied his bath towel in a half-Windsor.
Baka GaijinDecember 7th, 2010 at 3:29 pm [Reply]
As if Mark Trail and Mary Worth aren’t full of awesomeness, Francesco Marciuliano of Sally Forth fame adds to the festivities with a great holiday Twitter feed: angrysantaelf.
Calvin's Cardboard BoxDecember 7th, 2010 at 3:34 pm [Reply]
@Helen Clark (#155): While screaming “Prostitution Whore!!!!!!”?
bats :[December 7th, 2010 at 3:37 pm [Reply]
@Shawn S. (#124): yep.
Old School Allie CatDecember 7th, 2010 at 3:39 pm [Reply]
A3G Trey Brooks’ scarf/shirt combo looks like a slightly more metrosexual version of Cousin Blaze’s cowboy shirt/neckerchief ensemble. Same colors and everything.
In fact, have we ever seen Brooks and Blaze together? They could be the same person!
bats :[December 7th, 2010 at 3:46 pm [Reply]
@Red Greenback (#142):
I hate Bosco
It’s made with DDT
My mommy put it in my milk
To try and poison me.
I fooled Mommy
I put it in her tea
Now there is no Mommy
To try and poison me — hey!
(from the mr. bats :[ childhood song book)
Mr. GobotoDecember 7th, 2010 at 4:02 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#152) re Les: Maybe he has. Maybe his morbid fixation on his dead wife is just an act. He’s waiting till his Nobel acceptance speech at which point he’ll yank off his goatee and wig and reveal that he is none other than Lisa Moore and that she faked her cancer and her death. As for what happened to the real Les—he’s being held on Devil’s Island, known only as the Man in the Phantom Mask.
Dennis JimenezDecember 7th, 2010 at 4:03 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#161):
Lincoln, Lincoln;
I’ve been thinkin’;
What the heck have you been drinkin’;
Is it whiskey? Is it wine?;
Oh, my god, it’s turpentine….
Jump rope shanty from my yoot….
Pete the PelicanDecember 7th, 2010 at 4:06 pm [Reply]
MT – Yes, I’m glad you could guide me, Matt. Because the ocean is always fascinating. MARK, LOOK OUT!
Calvin's Cardboard BoxDecember 7th, 2010 at 4:09 pm [Reply]
@Mr. Goboto (#162):
* In the Bandar tongue
Dr. WeirdDecember 7th, 2010 at 4:13 pm [Reply]
Luann
Should we read anything into the fact that Mr. Degroot’s first impulse at seeing his wife laying unconscious and injured is not to call 911, but for the garbageman?
Ohhh… and what do you bet that Brad and/or Toni will be among the first responders when 911 is called (the fire department will usually arrive before the paramedics).
odinthorDecember 7th, 2010 at 4:21 pm [Reply]
#130. Baka Gaijin.
Luann: Bookcase courtesy of Ikea’s “balsaträ och spotta” collection. That’s “balsa wood and spit” to those not native to Göteborg.
Oh, they’ve upgraded their collection…?
MT. –
A wonderful bird is the pelican
To judge if Cherry holds more than Kelly can;
But Mark’s looking for Matt
To fish and all that . . .
A lay? I doubt if the hell he can.
#118. Carlo: “Not to split hairs, but that looks like a blue heron in the second panel of MT, not a pelican.”
A wonderful bird is the blue heron
. . . Ummm . . . oh, never mind.
December 7th, 2010 at 4:21 pm [Reply]
How on earth did the bookcase fall on TOP of Mrs. DeGroot? After all, one misstep and she could’ve fallen off, but if anything, only knocked the bookcase the other way or a few items (such as a cactus). Given that there is no indication an earthquake happened, and she wouldn’t have grabbed onto the bookcase as she fell, there is only one indication. Who instantly yelled to Dirk for help mere seconds after she fell? Who was the only other person in the house? Why, Mr. DeGroot, of course!
Mr. DeGroot gets Dirk’s help to remove the bookshelf (he is wearing gloves after all). Mrs. DeGroot is rushed to the hospital, declared dead shortly thereafter, and Mr. DeGroot cashes in on Mrs. DeGroot’s life insurance policy.
PozzoDecember 7th, 2010 at 4:25 pm [Reply]
JP: Is it just my imagination, or does that picnic basket have a boner?
Pseudo3DDecember 7th, 2010 at 4:27 pm [Reply]
Secondly, in terms of Mark Trail, I noticed that Mark COULD BE holding a towel…look below the speech bubble for darker marks…I think that’s it.
But also, look at Kelly’s face. She’s saying hello to Mark, but she’s not looking directly at his face…
Johnny KnucklesDecember 7th, 2010 at 4:33 pm [Reply]
@ComcisFan (#36): A3G: To a urologist, the distance that lady’s finger is travelling means “start estate planning, mister!”
JP: Sam’s smug grin is appoving the lady’s joke about someone pining for him while they’re hanging out in a pine forest. Sam can savor a fine pun as well as he can savor a fine glass of lavender-berry wine.
This GuyDecember 7th, 2010 at 4:38 pm [Reply]
Luann: There are a lot of characters in this strip I wouldn’t mind seeing “become an hero.” That being said, that bookcase is indeed clearly resting on the step-stool, which means this is probably yet another unbelievably stupid “plan” that someone thought was a better idea than trying to use their words. Granted, I have no idea what the intended outcome is, but that’s never stopped these people before.
SequiturDecember 7th, 2010 at 4:38 pm [Reply]
MT: I think they spelled Kelly’s remark in the last panel wrong. I think it was suppose to be “HIGH MARK!”
odinthorDecember 7th, 2010 at 4:41 pm [Reply]
JP. — I read it that she was dining for him, an unspeakable liberty if the productions of a fine chef are involved. Unspeakable, I tells ya!
MeriweatherDecember 7th, 2010 at 4:48 pm [Reply]
Luann: So, wait, all of Dirk’s vague pronouncements about ‘being gone soon’ were about skynet coming online this whole time? A wave of fire is going to descend on these helpless people, incinerating them where they stand, the burst of EMP erasing every copy of ‘Hey Boy’ still extant, leaving a wasteland of ash and twisted metal for Dirk and his fellow T800s to haul away to the dump?
Hurrah!
Rocky StoneaxeDecember 7th, 2010 at 5:00 pm [Reply]
I enjoyed watching the Stephen Colbert interview with Doonesbury’s Garry Trudeau on last night’s Colbert Report. Has anyone here gotten a sneak peak at the super-sized Doonesbury 40: A Retrospective?
PoteetDecember 7th, 2010 at 5:01 pm [Reply]
@Mr O’Malley (#Y88): Thanks for all the info! I suppose my odds of ever seeing a European wildcat are slim, even in Europe. But bobcats have been moving back into corn-intensive Iowa during the past twenty years, and there’s at least a small chance that I could see one, or signs of one, on my land someday. (Santa, that’s what I’d really like for Christmas.)
commodorejohnDecember 7th, 2010 at 5:04 pm [Reply]
@Meriweather (#175): Hallelujah! Never did I think I’d be able to picture the iconic scene from Terminator 2 with joy in my heart instead of fear and nausea.
ArchieNemesisDecember 7th, 2010 at 5:04 pm [Reply]
Just out of curiousity I looked up her name:
Kelly = Gaelic warrior
Welly = ready to flow
December 7th, 2010 at 5:05 pm [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#128): Thank you. I was snarling about Mr. Evans’ sudden magical rearrangement of time and space in the previous thread, but you said it more calmly.
WazDecember 7th, 2010 at 5:14 pm [Reply]
MT: I think Kelly has a one-track mind.
Alexander BunyipDecember 7th, 2010 at 5:23 pm [Reply]
John Hamm has to play Mark Trail in the movie.
juggernautDecember 7th, 2010 at 5:27 pm [Reply]
All of the books have fallen out of the bookcase and are now crushing his wife. Therefore, the bookcase itself is a helluva lot lighter. And he still needs Dirk’s help to lift it? Wuss.
DoodDecember 7th, 2010 at 5:54 pm [Reply]
I think Mark would have had Matt at “I’m glad you could guide me.” Kelly Welly, not so much.
BeefDecember 7th, 2010 at 5:56 pm [Reply]
@Dennis Jimenez (#102)
I thought for a second JP today *was* Spiderman, with all that red hair. Then I realized there was no TV being watched and “Peter” wasn’t hysterically overreacting to the situation at hand and snapped out of it.
ScienceGiantDecember 7th, 2010 at 6:06 pm [Reply]
MW: After making a scene, Jill Black was given a show on Fox News.
[Old Man] MuffarooDecember 7th, 2010 at 6:08 pm [Reply]
Curtis – Oh, lord, it’s a Very Special Episode of Curtis. Perhaps we’ll find that “Onion”’s real name is Broccoli and he has a chip on his shoulder because his sister’s a vegetable.
Dick – “So why do you have him in that mask, Sheriff?”
“Huh? Shoe-Face ain’t wearin’ no mask, Tracy.”
Mary – But if her last attempt at marriage failed, then her 50% chance of success is a sure thing. Wedded bliss, here she comes!
[Old Man] MuffarooDecember 7th, 2010 at 6:09 pm [Reply]
@Shawn S. (#124): Oh, there you go, taking credit for something somebody else has already said. I’ll go look it up… here we go: yesterthread, and it was first pointed out by, um, Shawn S.
…Okay, I’ll let you off with a warning this time.
Mr. NjiocronDecember 7th, 2010 at 6:11 pm [Reply]
Who is Matt? Why is he a pelican? Why is Mark naked for him? What sort of depraved pelican sex act is “fishing’?
Jake MorgendorfferDecember 7th, 2010 at 6:19 pm [Reply]
Damn, that Jill is a hot mess! The more drunken, outspoken and bitter she becomes, the more I’m attracted. What is wrong with me!?!
Spotted HØrse, Jungle SteedDecember 7th, 2010 at 6:38 pm [Reply]
MT: Today’s strip occasions the first serious thought I’ve given to Mark’s tackle. I’ve gone from imagining an Alan-Rickman-in-Dogma, Ken Doll sort of topography, to suspecting Mark of swinging serious pipe, all in one fell swoop, as it were.
@Alexander Bunyip (#182): John Hamm has to play Mark Trail in the movie.
Great Scott, what perfect casting!
CarterDecember 7th, 2010 at 6:43 pm [Reply]
I know we’re all supposed to focus on the amazing 3rd panel of today’s Mark Trail, but let’s not ignore the odd little poem in the second.
CharlesDecember 7th, 2010 at 6:48 pm [Reply]
For all the time Dirk is hanging out, and how he’s conveniently there when needed, do the DeGroots have their trash picked up twice a day or something?
Mr. GobotoDecember 7th, 2010 at 6:53 pm [Reply]
@Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed (#191):
swinging serious pipe
Made me laugh, but with Mark being the woodsman he is, shouldn’t it be lumbering a largish log? The kind you might chain raccoon to?
AlisonDecember 7th, 2010 at 6:54 pm [Reply]
Oh, Kelly. Oh, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly Welly. Walks right into a guy’s house without being invited, answers his phone for him and then doesn’t understand why his wife is upset to hear a strange female voice, and when he walks naked out of the shower and screams in horror, she merely chirps, “Hi, Mark!” Kelly, honey, I have Asperger’s Syndrome and even *I* know that none of that is socially acceptable in any way, shape or form.
littlestevieDecember 7th, 2010 at 6:58 pm [Reply]
@Mr. Goboto (#194): Would that be Kelly’s racoon? because it sure isn’t Cherry’s. Since this is happening in a fishing camp , I was thinking more Walleye Pike.
mr 12 oz canDecember 7th, 2010 at 7:02 pm [Reply]
mary worth- christmas is early the mw strip of the year . if i hadnt read the previous story i would think a seance was going on and jill was about to kill the whole table .mary just chewed off her presson nails priceless.
mark trail- again the strip of the year for mark trail if only kelly was dressed in her fancy girdle and mark had his shower cap on.
December 7th, 2010 at 7:11 pm [Reply]
Mark Trail does “sexy” like a four-year-old girl holding a tea party does “sophisticated.”
Spotted HØrse, Jungle SteedDecember 7th, 2010 at 7:16 pm [Reply]
@littlestevie (#196): @Mr. Goboto (#194): I’m wallowing in the rich, pungent Mark Trail lore you have summoned. Raccoon/log chaining, walleye pike, too much is never enough!
MustangDecember 7th, 2010 at 7:25 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#161): I was just thinking of that song too. Except the version I learned was “I hate Bosco. It’s rich in cal-o-ries” I remember proudly singing it for my mom. She didn’t see the humor. As a mayor of fact, she got mad. Sheesh.
Sgt. StonedDecember 7th, 2010 at 7:27 pm [Reply]
MW: The Mary Worth strip giving a forum to the rational, well-document views of Jill is the equivalent of the Vatican giving a forum to Richard Dawkins. I am impressed.
MT: “Make yourself at home, Matt…get naked, get lubed up…WHAT…KELLY!”
MustangDecember 7th, 2010 at 7:28 pm [Reply]
@ScienceGiant (#186): “Women who hate men who love women who have windbag fathers who love meddlers” It would be awesome.
daleDecember 7th, 2010 at 7:32 pm [Reply]
Luann
A six year old would have moved the bookcase without thinking about it.
A five year old would have called 911.
Frank: “I would have called 911, but I didn’t have their number on me.”
December 7th, 2010 at 7:33 pm [Reply]
’m not sure what’s canon here: the black-and-white line drawings in the paper or the colored ones on the web. Because in the print edition it looks very much like Mark’s coming out of the bathroom still wet to greet Matt, but in the online version it looks like Kelly actually went into the bathroom to say Hi to Mark. And it’s not like one of those is intrinsically more plausible, since no actual person would do either of them. (Sure, Kelly might have gone to join Mark, but why would she have sat down, waiting, and answered the phone first?)
Oh well, guess I’ll find out in a day or so…
Chyron HRDecember 7th, 2010 at 7:42 pm [Reply]
Kelly seems to like what she sees. Well, you know Mark, he’s got such a big… font.
terrapinDecember 7th, 2010 at 7:47 pm [Reply]
MW-Jill looks more like she’s conducting a seance of some sort. “Magic wine glass, show us your secrets. I see…I see a steamy shower…a dark haired woman wearing a pink work shirt and…and a man with no nipples.”
demoncatDecember 7th, 2010 at 7:53 pm [Reply]
dirk lifting the book case off of Lu anns mother is proably part of his plot to get tori and make brad miserable by showing he has a good compasionate side. Mary has her hands to her mouth for she is shocked that Jill dares to speak her mind about Scot and Adriene marrying without Mary’s permission.
KarMannDecember 7th, 2010 at 7:59 pm [Reply]
@Shermy Glamrocker (#57): Wouldn’t it be awesome if somehow Kelly’s clothes fell off and the next four weeks consisted of strategic word balloon placement?
That could be strangely justified. [*]
December 7th, 2010 at 8:10 pm [Reply]
Where I come from, bobcats aren’t called wildcats. Wildcat is reserved for the lynx, which is much larger than a bobcat, but much smaller than a cougar (or mountain lion as we called them).
Once the guy who owned the boat dock/store/gas station down the road from us (on Watts Bar Lake) came asking if we knew who’d been knocking over his trash cans at night. We didn’t, and he said he was planning on sitting up with a shotgun that night, and did my father want to join them for some poker while they waited. He did, or at least he was neighborly enough (and hoped they wouldn’t shoot a teenager if he was there, too, being a ‘professor’). They heard the cans go over, and flung open the door while shining a flashlight.
It was a dripping wet wildcat.
They shut the door.
The next day Mr Crabtree called the TVA people, who determined that a pair of wildcats was living on Thief Neck Island (used to be Thief Neck Ridge before the dams). They trapped them and moved them to the back of the Smokies.
Uncle LumpyDecember 7th, 2010 at 8:12 pm [Reply]
Ritzilla, Aldo, and now Jill — Mary Worth needs booze to have a good time.
The RidgerDecember 7th, 2010 at 8:14 pm [Reply]
@Carlo (#118): That’s no heron. Not only is the neck held wrong and the bill too thick, but the legs are WAAAAY too short.
zeeDecember 7th, 2010 at 8:24 pm [Reply]
I would have absolutely no complaints if from this point on Luann was renamed The Adventures of SuperDirk. Look at that last panel, just LOOK at it. Dirk is awesome. He should travel from strip to strip spreading that awesome. Look at the expression on his face, and now picture Jill as that bookcase. <3 Dirk.
odinthorDecember 7th, 2010 at 8:26 pm [Reply]
@Alison (#195): Quite so. Social mavens the world over are in unanimous agreement that what is always socially acceptable for the better sort is to ask to see a man’s little otter.
VioletDecember 7th, 2010 at 8:27 pm [Reply]
Could the last few weeks of A-3G be anything but the results of a random-word-generating drunken party game? Aunt! Pie! Bicycle! Piano! Taser! Prissy! Movers! Cabby! Plant! ARCHITECT!
spikeDecember 7th, 2010 at 8:43 pm [Reply]
Phantom: No need to actually kill the Warden, Savarna. Stripey just wants Chatu to experience the joy of slowly torturing and killing her himself.
cheech wizardDecember 7th, 2010 at 8:45 pm [Reply]
MT – Ok, so Kelly’s a robot. One who doesn’t recognize the extreme inappropriateness of her behavior, or even dimly perceive the sexual undertones of the situation. What’s next, the Bozoids show up and try to incinerate them all?
Filthy AssistantDecember 7th, 2010 at 9:07 pm [Reply]
I guess it’s just me but I really don’t get the appeal of Mary Worth (outside of the occasional insanity like Aldo), Judge Parker, Apartment 3-G, etc. Even in an ironic fashion, I don’t understand why people follow them. Mark Trail can be awesome from time to time, but The Phantom is the true Kickass Daily Comic. I don’t know why it isn’t covered here much, since the prison storyline has been the most badass thing I’ve ever seen in newspaper comics.
I mean, not that that takes much, but you know.
MWDGDecember 7th, 2010 at 9:10 pm [Reply]
MW: Again great action in MW…
sometime during Jill’s drunken rage…Mary has added a black blouse under her QVC Susan Graver jacket.
What Jill needs to learn is that if she is going to hang out with Mary’s clique at Chaterstone she needs to repress all her true feelings and ideas like she is living in 1962 Nowheresville, Ohio.
What should happen next….
Jill announces she is pregnant with Scott’s baby
Mary asks Jill is she needs to powder her nose. While in the litterbox Mary and Jill high five each other and laugh at what a loser Adrian is.
Terry Bryson congratulates Jeff Corey for performing his one millionth third trimester abortion at Mountainview hospital.
December 7th, 2010 at 9:12 pm [Reply]
@Filthy Assistant (#217): I’m going to guess Phantom isn’t covered much because it’s genuinely awesome, not snark-deservingly so.
DaveDecember 7th, 2010 at 9:13 pm [Reply]
Luann: Did anyone else notice that in yesterday’s panel, just before the crash, Nancy was not in front of the bookcase while watering the plant, but beside it (in between the bookcase and the window, peering out the window at Dirk). Did the bookcase pivot 90 degrees before falling forward?
tb4000December 7th, 2010 at 9:17 pm [Reply]
9CL: And today’s strip reminds me how awful if must be for the men in this strip to receive any type of oral pleasure from the women.
Josh N.December 7th, 2010 at 9:22 pm [Reply]
Honestly, I think yesterday’s Luann was even funnier. “Oh no!” Degroot senior thinks. “A bookcase has flattened my wife! Who to call, who to call… quick! How about that garbageman?! I’ll flap my arms wildly so that he gets the sense of urgency!”
Uncle LumpyDecember 7th, 2010 at 9:34 pm [Reply]
@Filthy Assistant (#217):
I agree that The Phantom is the best continuity strip, bar none — but it succeeds on its own terms. Mary Worth, Apartment 3-G, and Judge Parker succeed only on our terms.
hibbletonDecember 7th, 2010 at 9:36 pm [Reply]
The reason Dirk is always in front of the Degroots house is because the neighbors routinely dump their trash there. They read Luann too.
SpectraDecember 7th, 2010 at 9:44 pm [Reply]
I’m glad that Matt could guide the sea bird too. And I don’t get Mary Worth in the comix selection here, so this is a great delight, especially with the astute commentary to make my sides hurt from laughing.
SpectraDecember 7th, 2010 at 9:46 pm [Reply]
@dale (#203): Oh my gosh–too much! I never thought of that, but I’m so glad you did!
Walker of DogDecember 7th, 2010 at 9:58 pm [Reply]
Check out Dirk in the doorway – more specifically, check out his shadow. Browsing back through a few weeks of Luann (yes, I know), I didn’t see any other characters casting a shadow.
Obvious conclusion: Dirk is a normal human cursed with the task of supervising a cohort of moron-ghosts who are jealous of his continued existence on the corporeal plane. It explains Dirk’s detached, resentful attitude and why Frank couldn’t pick up the bookcase. Ghosts can bump and nudge objects, so Nancy was able to tip over the bookcase and climb under it, just to get some attention.
*wiping imaginary dust off of hands*
Done and done.
December 7th, 2010 at 10:03 pm [Reply]
Be careful Mr. Brooks–I mean Trey. You don’t want to know where that finger has been. Here’s a hint: Mrs. Bloom’s cat’s anus, piano shopping, Margo. Enjoy your plant!
cheech wizardDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:11 pm [Reply]
Luann – As others have noted, the bookcase is a flimsy, Sauderesque-type that can’t weigh much more than 40 lbs. So this isn’t a rescue, it’s a set-up. So as Dirk deals with the bookcase, Mr. DeGroot slips the garrotte around his neck and strangles him, as Nancy intently watches the life drain out of his eyes. Nobody messes with their chubby boy. Good thing there’s a garbage truck out front.
NomstrosityDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:17 pm [Reply]
How sad is it that Jill, with her gloriously unhinged and inconsistent rage (first she demands showier, more entitlement-filled stationery for the event, and now she derides the entire concept of marriage?), is still even involved in this process? Not only involved, but the only other damn person sitting at the table with the bride, groom, FOB and Mary? The barren and desolate landscape of Adrian’s social life really hits you when you consider THIS is the closest friend she had throughout her entire engagement. Scott, of course, does not exist outside of his contact with Adrian and Mary and therefore has no friends himself.
Even after whatever come-uppance Scott is about to give Jill (the ladies cover their own mouths fearfully, having witnessed the horror of what happens when a woman is allowed to talk), how much do you want to bet Jill is still going to be the Maid of Honor or something on Adrian’s wedding day, because who the hell else is there?
True FableDecember 7th, 2010 at 10:23 pm [Reply]
Yay Woody! Going back to a favorite storyline! You da man!
Big AlDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:16 pm [Reply]
So Dirk’s arm doubled in length, Sam and Scott’s faces swelled to abnormal sizes, Iris’ hand inflated to something found on a giant…..oh crap, don’t think about what got bigger in MT, don’t think about what got bigger in MT, don’t think..damn, now I can’t go to sleep.
bourbon babe, unbuckledDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:35 pm [Reply]
@Nomstrosity (#230): You’re surely correct—which makes me wonder who all those other people at the dinner are: former patients lucky enough to survive the Corey family’s medical skills? Former perps lucky enough to have been acquitted through Defective Scott’s procedural bumbling? Hospital personnel, contractually required to attend “social” “events” such as this one? Or just the usual Charterstone extras, hired by Mary herself to provide the mundane background against which her glory can truly shine?
commodorejohnDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:39 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#233): Oh man, what if Scott is as bad a police detective as Adrian is a doctor? Chilling.
Dancing BearDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:41 pm [Reply]
A bookcase for Mom. OK, Christmas wish number one granted. Thank you Mr. Evans. Now how about a piano for T.J. and an anvil for Gunther?
PoteetDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:41 pm [Reply]
LUANN — I realize that bad falls can happen to anyone, and I’ve taken a few myself. But after having looked for what I swear is the last time at Nancy doing that watering job on Monday, I am confirmed in my belief that this fall was a setup. Deliberately placing your stepladder so far from the bookshelf that you have to weirdly strain your arms upward to hold what should be a watering can but is actually a pitcher, and staring out the window instead of watching what you’re doing…Nancy, the next time Greg Evans gives you instructions like that, ignore them. If you’re still alive.
Eats Shoots And LeavesDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:43 pm [Reply]
Fwee Fwightening Sociopaffs: Kelly Welly, Margo Wargo and Mary Wary
PoteetDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:45 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#233): BWAHAHA!
I wonder how well Mary pays. I know the California economy is really awful, but how desperate would these poor souls have to be? Maybe it works because she pays them a bonus to keep their mouths shut afterward, so she can keep finding new victims.
CrankenstankDecember 7th, 2010 at 11:48 pm [Reply]
Too bad it turned out that the DeGroot emergency was just a bookcase falling over on the Mrs., since that was just a classic, classic porno set-up. “Um, excuse me, Mr. Muscled Up Threatening Sweaty Stinky Man in Uniform, my wife is calling for help. Could you come in and see what she needs? While I watch?”
Baka GaijinDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:41 am [Reply]
@Mikey (#228): “Mrs. Bloom’s cat’s anus.” Awesome new band name or next villain in Dick Tracy?
@Big Al (#232): Here’s a good way to get that image out of your mind: imagine a clown. Now imagine the clown being pelted by a hail of pingpong balls. Now imagine the pingpong balls are anvils. See? Happy now? It works for me.
@Crankenstank (#239): Ugh.
SequiturDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:48 am [Reply]
@Poteet (#236): Oh, c’mon . I’m sure you faked a few “accidents” so big muscle guy would come to your rescue. I sure know I had to do my share of savings in my time.
But now, young ladies save me. Heh, heh.
SequiturDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:51 am [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#240): Now, picture Dirk all decked out in clown regalia swatting away anvils like flies.
PoteetDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:53 am [Reply]
@Sequitur (#241): So you were/are a big muscle guy? Heh, heh.
Baka GaijinDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:55 am [Reply]
@Sequitur (#242): That’s disturbing in more ways than one.
PoteetDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:55 am [Reply]
Before I sign off for the night, I am sending up an earnest wish that we may continue to be left in semi-blissful ignorance regarding Mark’s nipples and winkle. Amen.
SequiturDecember 8th, 2010 at 12:57 am [Reply]
@Poteet (#243): Actually, it’s more like Chuck Norris. I got better nipples then
Mark Trail.
December 8th, 2010 at 12:59 am [Reply]
@Poteet (#245): Pleasant dreams.
bats :[December 8th, 2010 at 1:03 am [Reply]
@Sequitur (#246): most mammals have better nipples than Mark Trail; sorry to disappoint you. ;)
Bill the ButcherDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:06 am [Reply]
Uh…why does the stork wanted to be guided by Matt?
SequiturDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:13 am [Reply]
@bats :[ (#248): Some mammals try to hide them.
Walker of DogDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:14 am [Reply]
Jumble: The itinerant life of an ice-show clown presents some logistical difficulties. Even transferring a prescription from one pharmacy to the next can be a bureaucratic challenge. So when their supply of anti-psychotic medication ran out and no help could be found, the clowns turned the skating show into a |B|A|D| |E|P|I|S|O|D|E|
bats :[December 8th, 2010 at 1:22 am [Reply]
12/8
FC: why, yes, Billy…
dreadedcandiru2December 8th, 2010 at 2:04 am [Reply]
The second part of Lynn’s travel journal contains more paternalism, ignorance, stupidity and refusal to pay attention to her surroundings.
dreadedcandiru2December 8th, 2010 at 2:16 am [Reply]
9CWL: Again, Edda is more interested in having sex than preventing having her fellow arrogant, elitist sociopath ruin a man’s life for his own narrow self-interest. All this because he doesn’t approve of the horrible, stupid and selfish way Gran lived her life.
Young Mr. GraceDecember 8th, 2010 at 2:23 am [Reply]
Jill would have a lot more faith in partnerships if the other half of Nelson would return and help her get the band back together.
CharlesDecember 8th, 2010 at 2:23 am [Reply]
If awesome’s the standard, get ready for some more Mary Worth tomorrow. Mark Trail not so much, and if ludicrous is the standard, we’ll no doubt be heading back to the Luann well as well.
CanuckDownSouthDecember 8th, 2010 at 2:28 am [Reply]
Save yourself, Adrian! Don’t believe in lies! What do you think happens to the meddled, once they’ve left Charterstone, do you see them again? It’s a sham – those marriages are a sham – Soylent red is people!
CanuckDownSouthDecember 8th, 2010 at 2:31 am [Reply]
@dreadedcandiru2 (#254): You know what would be awesome? if uncle Roger basically said “sure – I know. Actually I’m bi, I chose to live my life this way, and my wife knows. So what makes this your business?” I picture Seth acting like one of those computers Kirk would defeat with a minor logic paradox.
KarMannDecember 8th, 2010 at 2:39 am [Reply]
12/8 NAoQV: Someone here totally called it a couple of days ago. Give that Mudge a cee-gar!
Black DrazonDecember 8th, 2010 at 2:48 am [Reply]
One more thought before the Luann comic in the current post is set aside. Passing heroic born-again Christian garbage man: helpful in a crisis! Firefighting son and his firefighting girlfriend: dry humping, again. Luann, ladies and gentlemen!
Black DrazonDecember 8th, 2010 at 2:55 am [Reply]
You know, now that I mention it, there are a lot of socially under-represented occupations that get good raps in the newspaper comics! Dirk is a reformed hero in the sanitation industry. Tommie’s a registered nurse, and goodness knows they do critical work. Gil Thorp and his troop of co-coaches are main characters! Ed Crankshaft, school bus driver extraordinaire, is at least ostensibly likeable. And Mark Trail, representative of the limited nature photographer demographic, is in actuality our Lord and Saviour. Newspaper comics, ladies and gentlemen!
dreadedcandiru2December 8th, 2010 at 3:00 am [Reply]
@CanuckDownSouth (#258): What would make it even more fun is if Edda got caught up in the explosion.
daleDecember 8th, 2010 at 3:15 am [Reply]
Luann
In addition to all the other violations of logic and physics, does Dirk drive the truck and get down to empty the cans?
The important preceding question reminds us: Bring back running boards.
This GuyDecember 8th, 2010 at 3:31 am [Reply]
12/8
EC: It’s like a ’90s commercial: GLUUUUUUUUUUUUUURGE!
GA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA KILL IT WITH FIRE
GF: Yeah, yeah. “Why bother naming a cat? It won’t come when you call it anyway.” ’cause the only reason to name anything is so you can order it around. (*)
AndyLDecember 8th, 2010 at 3:36 am [Reply]
I wish I had my own chocolate milk vineyard.
The Ghost of JarrodDecember 8th, 2010 at 4:35 am [Reply]
I love that Jill has managed to snag the wine bottle on her way out. I choose to believe it’s a bottle of Driver Vineyards’ 2009 Hershey’s Cocoa.
woahDecember 8th, 2010 at 4:47 am [Reply]
Damn Kelly, you just had to ruin Mark and Matt’s romantic weekend away, didn’t you?
Mr. O'MalleyDecember 8th, 2010 at 5:01 am [Reply]
@dale (#263): Yes, like no garbage truck seen in the real world for decades.
The same garbage truck turns up in Dilbert from time to time, but not the same driver.
Comic strips are the re-enactment village of obsolete technology. I remember seeing weight-and-fortune machines in comics, though I never saw one in real life outside a museum, but those seem to have died out even in the comics now.
I have cut out somewhere the first Blondie to show Dagwood in a car, and it was from the 1980s. Before that he used to go to work hanging from the back platform of a bus or streetcar, it wasn’t clear which. And when was the last time you saw a bus with a back platform in North America? (As someone pointed out the last time this topic came up, Routemasters, used in the UK until the 1980s, had a back platform.)
I can also remember Dagwood using a candlestick phone, but this may be a misleading memory, because I used to read the comics in old newspaper collections in the library when I was a kid. I didn’t notice when the Bumsteads first acquired a television set.
Jughead’s hat, under discussion in the strip recently, and here some time earlier, is another thing that was once common, and for the sake of continuity has been preserved in the strip long decades past the time anyone has ever seen its like.
It’s a tricky thing in a long-running comic how you balance continuity with keeping up with the time. In Luann, the DeGroot parents are sometimes portrayed as having been hippies in the 1960s, but that would put them in their sixties, and how many 60-year-olds have teenage children? (Maybe that would explain why he couldn’t lift the bookcase, though.) Sally Forth has updated so now Ted is nostalgic for the 1980s instead of the 1960s, but now it’s maybe time to move that another decade ahead. At least being a Star Wars nerd is kind of timeless.
Speaking of Luann, I remembered that years ago the schoolteachers were much more prominent characters, which added something to the strip that the current inane plotlines seem to lack.
Master SoftheartDecember 8th, 2010 at 5:02 am [Reply]
JP: Woody and Manley have really captured what it’s like to have that conversation with your wife about a fictionalized version of yourself having sex with a beautiful assassin, all written by an old family friend. Who can’t relate to the smugness that any of us would feel in that situation?
SM: If Stan Lee wants to put out a spinoff soap opera strip about Aunt May and Melvin, I would be happy to read it for a few months and give it a chance.
SF: Ted has finally suffered the psychotic break we all feared but knew was coming. Sure it’s all fun now, but when that disembodied but still whimsically ironic head tells him to kill the neighbors and put their heads in the freezer, I can guarantee you this will all look much more disturbing in retrospect.
Phantom: I still think that Savarna and Dick Tracy would make a cute sociopathic couple. Anyway, say what you will, arranging offshore naval gunfire support for a prison break is just flat-out awesome.
KarMannDecember 8th, 2010 at 5:12 am [Reply]
@The Ghost of Jarrod (#266) on MW: From the looks of it, I’d say that’s more like a Driver’s Heinz Cocoa wine.
Mr. O'MalleyDecember 8th, 2010 at 5:28 am [Reply]
@The Ghost of Jarrod (#266): If they were serving a decent wine, it shows good judgement for her to grab a fresh bottle on the way out. Given that Charterstone is somewhere in Southern California, there should be plenty of options for selecting a good local vintage. Jeff is a rich doctor; he might have forked out for something worth drinking. It doesn’t appear that Jill planned this event.
I fondly remember a party when an astute friend discovered a bottle of Far Niente among the other bottles in the ice chest. It was rapidly distributed to a small but appreciative audience.
Maybe Jill is POd because she put a lot of work into planning Adrian’s wedding with the con man, and then didn’t get paid when it fell apart. The second time, she’s letting the inmates run the asylum, but she can’t help but take note of their stupidity.
Previous comments by various people make additional good points. There’s no way one person could cover this many-faceted story.
@Master Softheart (#269): The same thing happened to me just the other day. It’s like they have a camera in my house!
Filthy AssistantDecember 8th, 2010 at 6:14 am [Reply]
Yeah, that’s a good point. But I maintain that I still don’t even think making fun of the soap opera strips are funny most of the time. Every once in a while you get a “MORE ZIPPERS, MULE!” or some Judge Parker T&A, but it makes me think the people that read them regularly to snark on aren’t really much different than the people that read them un-ironically.
John C FremontDecember 8th, 2010 at 7:01 am [Reply]
DT – “Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and you want me to tell you about my crime spree. Call that job satisfaction? ‘Cause I don’t.”
K. Ivan RuppertDecember 8th, 2010 at 7:06 am [Reply]
I am confused to all hell by this Luann story. So Dirk really is a good guy now? Wasn’t he at least nebulously abusive towards Toni when they were together? In fact, I seem to recall that he actually Hit her, and yet this storyline has been endeavoring to paint Brad as overly grudge-bearing and assholish for being suspicious when Dirk shows up out of nowhere under mysterious circumstances, claiming to have found Jesus and refusing to address any elephants he brings into rooms with him? What are you trying to say, Greg Evans? That abusive assholes can become the nurturing, supportive people you want them to be if you give them the chance? That the power of Christ Jesus can redeem the worst human monster? Wether these ideas may be conceptually sound or not, this is the kind of logic that sustains chains of abuse, instead of breaking them!
(Why do I only ever seem to want to post when I have nothing funny to say?)
ZaratustraDecember 8th, 2010 at 7:13 am [Reply]
This lends credence to my theory the new “Dirk” is actually a robot sent from the future to keep Brad and Toni from ever having sex. What the future doesn’t know is that they can do that just fine on their own.
Écureuil ÉcumantDecember 8th, 2010 at 7:14 am [Reply]
@59 bats :[ said re Luann:
I suspect the books still in place were there when the bookcase was purchased, Super-glued there to give the aura of “I have a bookcase. With books. I am a literate asshole.”
Yeah, I can easily picture the deGroots buying their books by the foot.
The thought of some kind of adhesive assistance for those “remaindered” books had crossed my mind too, but the scenario was slightly different. I figured those were just Pops deGroot’s favorite books, and he’d rode ‘em hot and put ‘em away wet one too many times.
The Real DanDecember 8th, 2010 at 7:42 am [Reply]
Nancy DeGroot is definitely hoping that this terminator unit is anatomically correct and fully functional. Look at her eyes. She’s never been handled by a real man before.
Fourth BearDecember 8th, 2010 at 7:47 am [Reply]
9CL: No need to take the slightest actions that might distract you from you constant petting, dears. I’m sure none of Seth’s actions could in any way turn out to be negative.
A-3G: Henry Thompson! Good Lord, yes, I’ve heard of old Henry “Stultification” Thompson! His buildings are actually all over the city, but the Thompson designs are so boring they’re nearly invisible. I think the government bought them all up for safehouses.
DT: Dr. Mordred’s not even going to dignify Dick’s question with a response. He’s just to going sit there are think his evil thoughts at Dick, just like the Johnny Nothing! That and the occasional vengeance fart.
Luann: “Oh, my spine!” *SNAP*
MW: Watch the skies! Don’t fall asleep! The calls are coming from inside the house! IT’S A COOOOOKBOOOOK!
Phantom: Oh, come on, Savarna! Artillery’s not *that* precise that you can’t make a few killing shots with plausible deniability to the Man in Purple.
gleebDecember 8th, 2010 at 7:55 am [Reply]
Brenda: Old Man Fitzgerald covets those loafers!
Curtis: Well, he better not take “Onion” home with him. There would be a terrible fight over who got to eat all of his parents’ food.
Dick: I think the prisoner is just a mad pathologist. He thinks everyone is dead, and wants to find out why.
Edge: All week for five cents? I get it; you’re fighting against the stereotype of Jews being financially savvy.
Rex: I guess the six-month pleasure cruise wasn’t such a hot idea.
Fourth BearDecember 8th, 2010 at 8:08 am [Reply]
@Fourth Bear (#278): Forgot one:
MW: Watch the skies! Don’t fall asleep! The calls are coming from inside the house! IT’S A COOOOOKBOOOOK! *Nabs bottle: Glug-glug-glug!* Salmon squares are made of Aldooooooo!
The Real DanDecember 8th, 2010 at 8:14 am [Reply]
Spider Man – So much for pathos! We need to set The Mole Man up with Jill. That would make a great strip! Jill getting drunk and belittling Mole Man until he cries.
Judge Parker – I’m sure Alan writes a good love scene like Dostoevsky writes light comedy.
Mark Trail – how the hell did he get dressed so quickly?!
Mary Worth – Uh-oh. Now Jill’s in trouble. The Orange Coats got her!
Little GuyDecember 8th, 2010 at 8:24 am [Reply]
@The Real Dan (#277):
“Help! Dirk! Her legs are fused shut and…..”
ScienceGiantDecember 8th, 2010 at 8:51 am [Reply]
@The Real Dan (#281):
MT: Forget that – where did he get dressed so quickly? To judge from the conservation, it’s like he didn’t even excuse himself into a different room. But if that’s true, then, then, everything we’ve ever thought about the manboy Mark is true. He’s a small child in an adult body, not able to grasp that having his nearly naked adult body in front of Kelly (or Matt) is a social taboo.
—
202. Mustang: GREAT news! The rating on your idead for Jill’s Fox News show are through the roof! Jill had Mary on her first broadcast, and when Mary said she didn’t believe in marrying Jeff, holee shit! The video of Jill’s tirade has gone viral!!!
Carl Barks FanDecember 8th, 2010 at 8:52 am [Reply]
@Filthy Assistant (#272): Booo!
Calvin's Cardboard BoxDecember 8th, 2010 at 8:54 am [Reply]
DT – Y’know, with all the oddly deformed villians and the tiny hands and giant heads and the complete collapse of due process and everything, all the signs point to this strip being set in a post-apocalyptic world. This makes my theory all the more plausible: Dick Tracey is a zombie. He’s suffering from Sixth Sense Syndrome, however, where he thinks he is still a living police officer. This explains why every villian he meets greets him with some version of “You’re a dead man, Tracey!”. It isn’t a threat. It is a statement of fact and an attempt to pierce his denial.
Beetle BumsteadDecember 8th, 2010 at 8:58 am [Reply]
@The Ridger (#211): New Flash: Another giant mutant talking animal emerges from the depths of Mark Trail.
Ned RyersonDecember 8th, 2010 at 8:59 am [Reply]
Today’s Luann reminded me of a line I’m sure I heard more than once on MST3K:
“Make sure you shake her head around a lot!”
December 8th, 2010 at 9:05 am [Reply]
MW: Wow, Jill’s layin’ it down like the second coming of Rasputin today. I’d totally put a fin in the plate at the stadium revival if she were the featured preacher.
Écureuil ÉcumantDecember 8th, 2010 at 9:11 am [Reply]
… And speakin’ of layin’ it down, thanks for a good two hours worth of almost constant gasping for air as I caught up on these outrageous posts. A lot of folks were holding back some mighty good material just for an awesome day like this.
GidgetNDecember 8th, 2010 at 9:13 am [Reply]
@UncleJeff (#33): Weapon Brown is fantastic. I’ve got both a t-shirt and a sticker placed prominently on my car.
EllieDecember 8th, 2010 at 9:14 am [Reply]
Hmmmmm, Once he got over his initial shock Mark seems quite pleased to see Kelly there…
Chyron HRDecember 8th, 2010 at 9:19 am [Reply]
JP – “Does Alan write good love scenes?” “No way! He wrote all this gross weird stuff about me putting my pee-pee in a lady! Yuk!”
DT – “Care to tell me about your crime spree? Tell me really slow, and don’t leave any of the details out. Ohhhhhh, yeah, that’s what papa likes.”
SM – “I’m so ugly, no wonder women don’t appreciate what a NICE GUY I am.”
frippyDecember 8th, 2010 at 9:28 am [Reply]
This week’s Luann ends with the town rabbi erasing the first letter from the word, emet, inscribed on Dirk’s forehead.
Icepick JonesDecember 8th, 2010 at 9:42 am [Reply]
So is Brad still wrist deep in calf muscle while his mom rots under a bookshelf? I’m confused. All I know for certain is that Dirk is apparently the only redeemable character in this strip.
Calvin's Cardboard BoxDecember 8th, 2010 at 9:46 am [Reply]
@Ellie (#291):
“Is that a huge talking squirrel in your towel, or are you just happy to see me?”
“Sorry, Kelly, I couldn’t hear you, I was too distracted by the giant beaver in the room.”
Illustrator SteveDecember 8th, 2010 at 11:06 am [Reply]
Please inform Jack Elrod that I will be sueing him for the trama caused to me once I saw that giant prehistoric bird in panel two! Thanks to Elrod I now have flashbacks of the movie, “Rodan” that frightened me when I was a kid. (At least Rodan didn’t talk during the movie. This is all just SO wrong!!
And as far as Kelly Welly, Mark should just go ahead and shoot the bitch! And he had better do it quick before Cherry arrives there to shoot both of them. That is if Cherry doesn’t get eaten first by that horrible giant bird! DAMN YOU ELROD!!!!
NosytDecember 8th, 2010 at 11:30 am [Reply]
Luann: “No Dirk! Not the Bookcase! Help me lift the ‘Bookca’, the ‘BOOKCA’!!!!!”
Filthy AssistantDecember 8th, 2010 at 11:32 am [Reply]
If it makes you feel any better, I’m a fan of Carl Barks too. vOv
Rana the Pedantic Wet BlanketDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:18 pm [Reply]
@K. Ivan Ruppert (#274): (Why do I only ever seem to want to post when I have nothing funny to say?)
I suffer from that problem, too. Hence my nom d’ mudgeons, above.
daleDecember 8th, 2010 at 1:44 pm [Reply]
@Mr. O’Malley (#268):
I haven’t seen one of those trucks for five days now. Not every place uses the ones with a mechanical arm. My point was that if you use that type, you have a two or three man crew.
LokiDecember 8th, 2010 at 3:18 pm [Reply]
I think it says something about what I’ve come to expect from Mark Trail that I wasn’t sure the talking stork was worth commenting on. I’m still not sure.
AnonymousDecember 8th, 2010 at 6:46 pm [Reply]
Almost as terrifying prospect as Marks genitals is panel 2. What is with the friggin talking pelican???
degroot of all evilDecember 8th, 2010 at 7:36 pm [Reply]
Obviously, when Dirk said he was leaving forever, he meant that he is either headed to Dr. Xavier’s school, or his home planet.
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