Luann, 6/21/11
Uh-oh, looks like the DeGroots are on a collision course with wackiness — TJ-flavored wackiness! So, wait, is TJ not capable of paying rent on his own? Doesn’t he have a job? Wasn’t there some whole plotline a few years back that centered on the family trying to figure out what TJ did for a living? Did they ever find out? You know, it’s times like this, when I realize that I actually don’t have some bit of Luann ancillary character trivia at my fingertips, that I realize that maybe I’m more mentally healthy than everyone says. I could just look up the answer, but it would ruin my feeling of triumph and well-being.
Anyway, the fact that TJ will be required by economic and/or narrative necessity to move back home with Brad only strengthens my suspicions that “TJ” is actually just a projection of Brad’s troubled subconscious, and that his entire family has been urged by Brad’s team of psychiatrists to play along with his delusion, a role they’ve tackled with an unsettling degree of gusto.
Apartment 3-G, 6/21/11
You know, if the A3G girls were so keen on getting a psychic reading for Lu Ann, why not just go with Margo’s mother Gabriella, who’s been known to dabble in the mystic arts herself? Of course, since Laura Lea is drawn exactly like Gabriella, that may be what they’ve done, and just asked her not to lay on the accent to so thick for a few minutes. At any rate, Margo’s sweet smile in panel one shows that she’ll always love how easy poor dumb Lu Ann is to fool.
Judge Parker, 6/21/11
Worried that the strip’s core audience of aged shut-ins might find the current storyline involving potential suicide too exciting, the Judge Parker creative team has decided to ratchet things back a notch and are now only showing Abbey and Sophie watching the situation unfold via a no doubt low-quality webcam. Still, they are narrating the action, which might cause stray amounts of dangerous drama to enter the consciousness of readers. Just to be safe, the rest of the week will consist of the two of them staring silently at the screen.
This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 21, 2011 at 08:39 am and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Judge Parker, Luann. | 261 responses to “” Little GuyJune 21st, 2011 at 8:42 am [Reply]
A3G: “Happy Birthday! I’m your gift!” And the age-inappropriate lesbian theme continues….
wossnameJune 21st, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]
A3G – LuAnn is either having a heart attack, being raptured, or turning into a bobblehead. I like the bobblehead idea, myself.
ReFOOB – I don’t usually bother hating this comic, but this time I have to. “Because Farley is a disgusting male with sexual desires [because we never bothered to have him neutered], I don’t care if he runs away and gets hit by a truck.”
Popeye – “Popeye hasn’t licked the oids?” Oh, Olive, it just doesn’t get any better than this.
NAoQV – Win!
Effluvius ErratusJune 21st, 2011 at 8:45 am [Reply]
A3G: “…it’s called cold rectal reading. I take this here thumb…”
Spider-Man: What’s the over-under on the new villain actually being called Big Boss?
Little GuyJune 21st, 2011 at 8:48 am [Reply]
Curtis: TVTropes is not only addictive, it’s also useful.
S-M: Calling it: It’s a woman, baby. Or JJJ. Or both.
Captain Plaid PantsJune 21st, 2011 at 8:49 am [Reply]
FOOB: I love it when Lynn drops her pretenses and just openly expresses her contempt for men. At least it is honest and I don’t have to read between the lines. Now if she would just quit pretending she’s Canadian. Come on, Lynn, no one’s buying it. Canadians are NICE!
TaggedJune 21st, 2011 at 8:50 am [Reply]
Doonesbury: Wonder if this means more Roland Hedley “tweets” are incoming..?
NS: Didn’t know Wiley was a Ray Stevens fan..
Dustin: And the joke quality rate is 0 percent.
Scott BotJune 21st, 2011 at 8:55 am [Reply]
MT – ‘My Son Mike could be right. I had better round up My Friend Flicka, My Little Margie, My Wife and Kids and My Favorite Husband to help me out with this.’
Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go take My Son Tot and My Daughter Dot to the sitter…
yellojktJune 21st, 2011 at 8:56 am [Reply]
I can’t wait for more whacky mix-ups with TJ and Mrs. DeGroot coming in and out of the bathroom. And by “can’t wait” I mean “dread with every fiber of my being.”
Rocky StoneaxeJune 21st, 2011 at 8:58 am [Reply]
@Hibbleton (#yy183):
Monty: not sure what’s going on here. The satyr’s genitals are blocked by some unidentified object. Is this supposed to be a joke about Monty sculpting himself with a horse cock?
Jim Meddick originally drew a horse’s peener on the statue, but his syndicate chickened out and had it circumcised by a mohel with a chisel:
http://weirdnews.aol.com/2011/06/18/anticircumcision-comic-he_n_879739.html
(Yes, there’s a comic called “Foreskin Man” — wanna make something of it?)
pugfugglyJune 21st, 2011 at 8:59 am [Reply]
A3G: Something tells me that Lu-lu ain’t going to be too difficult a read…
“So you’re Luann and…”
“HOW DID YOU KNOW?!!!”
“Your friends told me. So anyhow, you live in downtown, which…”
“HOW DID YOU KNOW?!!!”
“Again, your friends there told me. They said that you have an apartment together, and…”
“HOW DID YOU KNOW?!!!”
“……..You know what? I’m just going to put you down now for a weekly appointment…”
Luann: Can’t afford the Horner place? Jeez, Brad, that place is little more than a corner….
A-SM: …and this summer’s NKOTB reunion is off to a less than auspicious start….
FW: I see that in Westview, high school kids masturbate to Les’ misery, just like he does…
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 21st, 2011 at 8:59 am [Reply]
GT: Gil “scores a victory” in an “unexpected spot” — a hardware store. I guess the fourth panel would show him walking out all rosy, having scored a fella who really knows how to wield a tool.
AndieJune 21st, 2011 at 8:59 am [Reply]
So.. in quintessential Fight Club style.. TJ is Brad’s Wasted Life.
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 21st, 2011 at 9:03 am [Reply]
Close – A disturbance in the Force, as if a single, feeble, unformed joke was trying to rise to the surface of “Close to Home.” Trying, trying, failing, failing… failing. Well, let’s all pause and admire how almost carefully he traced the JEOPARDY! logo there.
Crock – This is totally different from the old Peanuts gags about the things Snoopy has in his doghouse, because shut up, that’s why.
Dennis – “Why are we replantin’ Mr. Wilson’s stupid ol’ medical marijuana? Let’s just turn the old creep in! We could say he tried to touch me.”
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 21st, 2011 at 9:04 am [Reply]
Dick – “I am. I AM!” “Are you? ARE YOU?”
Aw, shit. AW, SHIT!
Gil – “HARDW”?! B Kliban tribute spotted!! [And already reported by John C Fremont @y229]
Hägar – Have we seen this gag here a dozen times already, or was it only eleven? Do we feel lucky?
Marfield – There’s a rule that cell bars have to be farther apart than the width of the one being caged, right? It was either rule number one or rule number two.
Bill ThompsonJune 21st, 2011 at 9:04 am [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#3): I’m hoping for something out of early Mad Magazine. The Big Boss walks in and he’s a six-inch high version of Edgar G. Robinson, with huge shoes and an outsized stogie. But that would introduce humor into Spiderman, so I’ll go with Little Guy’s call. We’re going to be stunned, just stunned, when the new villain is a woman.
MarkJune 21st, 2011 at 9:05 am [Reply]
Even better: TJ is Brad’s man-doll left over from a period of sexual identity crisis, and the rest of the cast accepts like in Lars and the Real Girl. (Hey, it might explain why Toni sticks around.)
PozzoJune 21st, 2011 at 9:06 am [Reply]
We could create much more interesting comics by stringing word balloons together out of context. Let’s start with “Happy birthday, I’m your gift!” and “Your world’s been rocked, dad.”
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 21st, 2011 at 9:17 am [Reply]
A&J: a bit of a Take THAT!, perhaps?
Lio: heee! “Snakes, why did it have to be snakes?”
NAoQV: AAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! mine eyes! (I was expecting something like this after yesterday’s strip, but the horror of the actuality, the horror!)
R&R: Labs can’t help themselves. also, d’awwwwwww.
rMC: yeah, there’s one of my pet peeves.
Bizarro: God wears Birkenstocks. to no great surprise. Also, this is a not-really-the-Rapture joke, innit?
Dilbert: commodorejohn, I believe this one’s for you.
JUMBLE: “Frazz Love” fits, and makes some sense. Nice to see a fellow member of the Association of Several Steves as well.
MT: panel 2, Hammy stands agog at dialog no actual human would ever utter.
NS: pardon me for stealing another ‘mudges line, but “Hey, you young people, stop not reading newspapers!” also, Wiley, you suck.
RMMD: hey, they remembered the other boat! *shock & amazement*
Ghost-Who-Has-Cameos: is that our Waitress, of Lady Cops and Waitresses fame?
RwO: /fail. Everyone knows that the 13th Apostle was black, and named Rufus.
standard snarpologies.
Calvin's Cardboard BoxJune 21st, 2011 at 9:19 am [Reply]
DT – “Stop copying me. COPYING ME!”
“Stop copying me. COPYING ME!”
“Quit it. QUIT IT!”
“Quit it. QUIT IT!”
“You’re stupid. STUPID!”
“You’re stupid. STUPID!”
“I’m not the Scarlet Sting, you are! YOU ARE!”
“I’m not the Scarlet Sting .. Damnit, you got me! GOT ME!”
Luann – We never did resolve what TJ does, it was just dropped as a plot line. Maybe now it will be picked up again. Along with the Tales of Ribaldry plot line which was core Luann hijinks – Luann and TJ pretended to be attracted to each other in order to annoy someone else, while sublimating their real attraction. Nine months later, Shannon was born.
FafMorJune 21st, 2011 at 9:20 am [Reply]
Dick Tracy cranks up the crazy! Up the crazy!
pugfugglyJune 21st, 2011 at 9:22 am [Reply]
@Little Guy (#4):
A few more options we might want to put on the ballot:
-Aunt May
-MJ’s evil twin
-a talking dog
-a jar of mustard
Yeah, my head says it’s going to me ‘ Ohmygawd it’s a WOMAN!’, but my heart will be with ‘jar of mustard’
MibbitmakerJune 21st, 2011 at 9:26 am [Reply]
Luann, Joshpost: What Petey Otterloop thought Ernesto was, TJ really is (to Brad)!
A3G: Well, Lu’s gullible enough. btw, Margo’s idea (playfully evil Margo wink).
9CL: Creatures of Pure Art befuddle even Creatures of Pure Art.
DT: Omigod, there’s TWO Double-ups!!
Quadruple-up?
Now that’s getting ridiculous! Getting ridiculous! Getting ridiculous! Getting ridiculous!
June 21st, 2011 at 9:27 am [Reply]
You don’t know Broadway Bill, the filmmaker? He made that documentary on the famous NASCAR driver, Touchdown Pete. Bobby Oilpainting did the soundtrack.
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 21st, 2011 at 9:30 am [Reply]
FW: “Hairdo? OH. You have HAIR. Why, sure enough. Of course. Uh, the do looks great.”
seismic-2June 21st, 2011 at 9:33 am [Reply]
FW: Not one, not two, not even three or four, but an entire classroom full of toothless smirks. And Cayla not only straightens her hair, she lightens it to brown. Is she transforming herself into Lisa v2.0? I swear, Batiuk reads this blog every day, sits down at his drawing board, and says to himself, “So you thought that was insufferable? Well, now I’ll really show you!!!”
Pseudo3DJune 21st, 2011 at 9:34 am [Reply]
ReFOOB, Dustin, and 9CL: I hate these strips.
FW: I have a sneaking suspicion that more people hate Les that Batiuk wants us to think.
FC: Something very unsettling about today’s Family Circus: Thel’s necklace. It’s probably supposed to be a common cross necklace, but the top is cut off, making it resemble a T. What could it mean? Could Thel be rebelling against her family’s religion, or is it a “T” for Thel?
DT: So Doublup has a good counterpart just as crazy as he is! He is!
MT: Squirrel Girl’s squirrel companion hears of the sheriff’s misguided conclusions and goes off to warn more competent law enforcement.
MW: It’s a trap!
GA: Dang it!
MibbitmakerJune 21st, 2011 at 9:37 am [Reply]
ReFOOB: MISANDRISTS!
(can’t underline regular type, so italics will have to do)
H&J: There’s a difference?! (trust me…)
MT: Richard Jewell is rolling in his grave.
MG&G: Wiley’s filling in for Mike Peters for the writing chores (same politics).
MW: After, Mary re-meets up with Dr. Drew.
Drew: “Well, how did it g–”
Mary: “HOW DARE YOU…?!”
Drew: “Wh–”
Mary: “Look what you did to that poor girl! YOU MONSTER!!”
June 21st, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]
Dustin – Yeah, loser, statistically speaking you should only be 33% unemployed! What’s your excuse for the other two-thirds of your body?
HOTC – This secret “Hot Chocolate” content is less risque than I had been led to believe.
Popeye – Like they say, you can’t beat the Oids. (Disclaimer: This pun may in fact be the only purpose of this months-long story arc. If so, sorry for spoiling it in advance.)
Rose is Lulz – “How many gazebos do you she-males need?”
SamECircleJune 21st, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]
Awww man! I wanted the “psychic” to pop out of a patchouli-flavored giant cake.
Also, judging by the name, I think Broadway Bill is a… certain KIND of filmaker…
June 21st, 2011 at 9:43 am [Reply]
MOTHER GOOSE: Huh?? A salamander that attacks atheists and Muslims beats up the dog? Is there an obvious joke I’m missing?
spikeJune 21st, 2011 at 9:43 am [Reply]
@seismic-2 (#25): No doubt he trolls around. I am having trouble accepting Cayla’s new Marilyn Qualye/Mary Tyler Moore look, however.
MibbitmakerJune 21st, 2011 at 9:47 am [Reply]
Zippy the Pinhead challenges the Doublup twins (not to be confused with the Doublemint Twins), Quadruplup, to a repeat-off. May the best tape loop win!
zenveloJune 21st, 2011 at 9:47 am [Reply]
Luann: Now the DeGroots will finally admit that TJ is Brad’s rent boy. Toni can finally admit she is the Fire Department beard.
Bill ThompsonJune 21st, 2011 at 9:49 am [Reply]
@Pseudo3D (#26): FC: I saw Thel’s necklace. All I got is a reference to Huxley’s “Brave New World,” where crosses have been changed into Ts out of reverence for Henry Ford. Maybe it’s a sly admission that the Melonheads were mass-produced on an assembly line, and Unit #3 fears a recall notice.
Esther BlodgettJune 21st, 2011 at 9:51 am [Reply]
FW: Hey, did you hear? Cayla has a new hairdo! Les, on the other hand, still has just the one yellow shirt that he wears to school every damn day.
Beetle: Can’t…unsee…female dog boobs…
MT: I love the way the squirrel’s jaw drops at the lameness of the Sheriff’s monologue.
Old School Allie CatJune 21st, 2011 at 9:52 am [Reply]
FW – Outside of the small pond that is the Winkerbean County Public School System, who in the world of interwebs would give a flying f*** about two unattractive people kissing, especially when one looks like he threw up in his mouth a little.
I like viral videos as much as the next doofus, and I’ve watched that one where the guy does voiceover for his dog a half dozen times. To say nothing of that fake trailer for Riverdale featured on this site a few months ago.
Maybe the kids are all hoping it’s a snuff film…
AndyLJune 21st, 2011 at 9:52 am [Reply]
I understand that A3G is character driven drama, but would it kill the artist to give us an establishing shot once and a while? I mean, I know it’s fun talking about a piano for a week and never drawing it, and I guess we’ve all seen Manhatten, so you don’t need to draw that ever, but the strip has just dramatically changed setting for the first time in living memory, would it kill him to show us where the girls are?!? The ability to show this sort of thing is the primary strength of the medium.
AndyLJune 21st, 2011 at 9:54 am [Reply]
Hey did anyone notice that 9CL almost had a joke in it today? So close.
Esther BlodgettJune 21st, 2011 at 9:54 am [Reply]
@AndyL (#37): They’re on a porch. And there are trees. And apparently a breathable atmosphere. How much more specific do you want? This ain’t Herb & Jamaal, ya know.
Bill ThompsonJune 21st, 2011 at 9:55 am [Reply]
@Flying Manatee (#30): It has to do with the loathsome Newt Gingrich. If there’s a joke, however, it isn’t obvious.
Little GuyJune 21st, 2011 at 9:56 am [Reply]
@pugfuggly (#21): I would actually look forward to a storyarc with Spidey battlling Mustard Jar.
Dennis JimenezJune 21st, 2011 at 9:56 am [Reply]
Luann – OK, don’t follow the strip – but I’m guessing B-Wad botched the BJ on the boss yesterday – B-Wad – I told you – blow is just an expression – he wanted you to suck at your job….
A3G – Come on LuAnn – I know you’re not an English major, but conjugate this one – Laura Lee, Laura Lie, Laura Lay….
JP – Again, don’t follow the strip – Um – So I’m only guessing the judge has one of those PPV/Everything I Do Cam sites – pinching a loaf? Pissing in the bushes in the back yard? Carelessly exiting the shower with his robe open? Rebecca Love, watch out – you’ve got some competition….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Old School Allie CatJune 21st, 2011 at 9:56 am [Reply]
FW – Oh, and by the way – nice weave, Cayla. Is that Yakky? She’s looking very Alfre Woodard today.
VoshkodJune 21st, 2011 at 9:57 am [Reply]
If any woman in comics is going to say “Happy Birthday! I’m your gift!” why can’t it be Abbey Parker?
bats :[June 21st, 2011 at 10:01 am [Reply]
FC: Big Daddy Bil-approved…
HibbletonJune 21st, 2011 at 10:02 am [Reply]
MT: You’d think that cave and its entrance would be filled with non-mocassined footprints but that would make too much sense in an MT story line.
Crank: Thirty years ago starting your grill with explosive amounts of carcinogen laden petrochemicals might have been funny but if Batiuk is really so concerned with cancer and its causes he should drop this worn out gag.
6chix: The first sandals of summer. The first tan of summer. The first sun dress of summer. The first ice cream cone of summer. The first warm evening of summer. That’s five years worth of solstice strips on me.
Marm: It’s somehow fitting that hell hound enjoys wallowing in a urine laden kiddy pool.
BB: Instead of a bikini wax she gets a poodle cut.
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 21st, 2011 at 10:03 am [Reply]
@Pseudo3D (#26) and @Bill Thompson (#34) on FC:
That’s a tau cross, so I guess that flags Thel as a third order Franciscan. Well, it makes sense. As Walter Miller showed us in “A Canticle for Leibowitz”, they do have a soft spot [*] for muties.
rachelJune 21st, 2011 at 10:05 am [Reply]
If LuAnn is cross-eyed with ecstasy now, just wait until her “appointment” really gets going. How do I know? I KNOW ALL.
mvgJune 21st, 2011 at 10:07 am [Reply]
JP: Because it’s a really good idea to let your recently depressed teen watch live streaming video of a potential 10-story suicide plunge to the street. Mother of the Year, Abby, Mother of the Year. Care to foster the Keane kids for a week or 2?
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 21st, 2011 at 10:07 am [Reply]
@Flying Manatee (#30): it’s a Gingrich newt. A species known for only turning to the right, and eating their own feet.
ChipJune 21st, 2011 at 10:08 am [Reply]
CS: I call bullshit! Crankshaft’s grill explosions are caused by his cooking and NOT by his attempts to light the grill?
HibbletonJune 21st, 2011 at 10:10 am [Reply]
@Chip (#51):
Exactly.
June 21st, 2011 at 10:11 am [Reply]
@Hibbleton (#46): “You’d think that cave and its entrance would be filled with non-mocassined footprints…”
It would, except this gang thinks ahead — they insert sapling branches into their anuses before approaching the cave, so the trailing leaves will sweep away their non-moccasin tracks as they proceed.
Alan's AddictionJune 21st, 2011 at 10:14 am [Reply]
I really appreciate that “Luann” has the compassion to warn its readership that TJ will be shown in the strip a few days before he actually shows up; it gives me time to stock up on Xanax. See, although TJ is fairly charming because he’s a thinly-veiled copyright infringement of the Fonz, he has this horrific, constant grin that scares me. And his disgusting perm doesn’t help; he’s like the horrifying love-child of the Joker and post-plastic-surgery Michael Jackson. But now, I’ll be mentally and pharmaceutically prepared and it won’t be so bad.
The words “Happy birthday, I’m your gift!” have never, ever been less-sexy. Also, I like how Lu Ann appears to be visibly star-struck in the second panel; even grasping her chest (or she’s having a heart attack, either one is good). If all it takes is a local mystic to induce such a reaction, I’d hate to see what she’d do if she met an actual celebrity, such as Al Roker, or the host of “Dancing with the Stars.” She might explode.
I think that today’s “Judge Parker” strip is all part of the standard, Judge Parker, Inc.-issue plot. Contractually, the creative team behind the strip must draw at least ten different sexy ladies per story, and if they’re low for a storyline, they have to randomly cut away and show sexy women some other way (if you doubt this theory, look through the archives; they’re a bizarre collection of sub-par legal plots with attractive women thrown in for no reason). I realize that the women in today’s strip aren’t really “sexy” in any conventional sense, but I imagine the creative team is actually more focused on the story and had to stretch the definition of “sexy” to get it past their corporate overlords. That’s probably why they’re nightwear, nightwear automatically increases the sex appeal of anyone, right? If not, don’t tell the managers at Judge Parker, Inc.
June 21st, 2011 at 10:15 am [Reply]
Luann: Toot toot! The “Sad B-wad” train doesn’t have to leave the station as Dad makes his way over to him. Nancy tries to cover up that she isn’t a huge bitch, but the damage has already been done. We also get to see how T.J.’s life is ruined by just being associated with B-Wad. This is the best week of Luann ever!
Stops Made:
Selfish Junction
Disappointed Dad
Stops remaining:
Dating Dirk Again with Toni
My Ex-Roommate’s a Loser with T.J.
Crying Alone in Room with B-wad
Note for Josh: Most places are expensive enough that it takes two people to cover the rent. Without B-Wad’s paltry income, they’d both have to move out as T.J. doesn’t make enough as a pimp or whatever he does.
damienbixlanJune 21st, 2011 at 10:17 am [Reply]
Luann: I see that Mr.Degroot is wearing his funky pubic hair-patterned polo shirt. Is it friday already?
pugfugglyJune 21st, 2011 at 10:22 am [Reply]
@Little Guy (#41):
…which would probably end with Spidey getting another beating and the mustard accidentally falling off a rooftop…
Effluvius ErratusJune 21st, 2011 at 10:22 am [Reply]
@Andie (#12): The first rule of Luann is don’t talk about Luann.
@Little Guy (#4), @Bill Thompson (#15) & @pugfuggly (#21): You’re all probably right; so what’s the over-under on her being called “Boss Lady”? And was she a lady bitten by a radioactive boss or a boss bitten by a radioactive lady? NERDALERT: Could it be Vanessa Fisk?
Rana the Pedantic Wet BlanketJune 21st, 2011 at 10:34 am [Reply]
@Flying Manatee (#30): I think it’s a reference to Gingrich, aka “Newt.” Not that this makes the joke funny (I didn’t realize Grimm was either an atheist or a Muslim), though now perhaps it will make more sense.
Rocky StoneaxeJune 21st, 2011 at 10:40 am [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#58):
Vanessa Fisk? Heir to the Fisk Tire Fortune?
http://vintagevending.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/fisk_tire_boy.jpg
seismic-2June 21st, 2011 at 10:44 am [Reply]
JP: I know we’ve all been wondering from the very start, but this awfully convenient introduction of “Broadway Bill” and his Webcam across the street, zooming in on the Judge for his heroic close-up, makes me wonder even more than I did before – is this suicide attempt legit, or is it all a stunt staged by Constance to drum up publicity for the Judge’s upcoming book tour?
The whole concept of this old, hidden staircase that no one knows about (but that Constance does, because by coincidence as a girl she used to play in this very theater!), sounds phony, and if it is in fact the secret passage to the roof, then how did Emma get up there? (And, as several people have noted, it seems an unlikely building to choose for a suicide attempt.) Do we really know that “Emma” is in fact who Constance says she is, or is she just an actress / stunt woman hired to stage a hoax? In addition to the press corps that is gathering down on the street, and the Webcam guy who is streaming video from across the way, what’s next – a news crew in a helicopter, tipped off by a call from Dewey Cheatem Inc.? It all seems like just a bit too much.
Maybe Constance had to give Angel two Mickey and Yogi Topps cards, to pull it all off.
HyhybtJune 21st, 2011 at 10:45 am [Reply]
Deliberately taunting your audience by using a comic ending with “Happy birthday, I’m your gift!” and NOT making stripper or prostitute jokes, or are you just under the weather today?
GregJune 21st, 2011 at 10:49 am [Reply]
Luann: Love how Dad is getting his world rocked while he’s casually playing with his penis. Seriously, what’s up with all the hand in pocket casualness in this strip? Could it be that the artist doesn’t like drawing hands? Or he just likes penises? Why do we have to choose?
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 21st, 2011 at 10:56 am [Reply]
better than a strut.
for bb,u.
want.
an ounce of kewt.
anotter response to the stilted dialog in MT. (bats :[, this would also go well with certain Abby panels. just sayin’.)
The Daily Puppy is a yellow lab.
happy corgi.
for those with an inclination to videos, I highly highly recommend the “Pudge FRAPS” vid on OCD, and the new Weird Al take on Lady Gaga.
jayjaybearJune 21st, 2011 at 10:56 am [Reply]
Edge City: Unemployed 2 years? Evan must have been the drummer…
Rocky StoneaxeJune 21st, 2011 at 10:58 am [Reply]
Spider-Man — This could be a recycled Stan Lee/Steve Ditko storyline from S-M #10… with J. Jonah as the prime suspect:
http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/9/91316/1693275-amazing_spider_man_10_spidey_suspects_jonah_super.jpg
TheDivaJune 21st, 2011 at 10:58 am [Reply]
A3G: I usually find this strip unbearably boring, but the idea of watching the world’s easiest cold reading has promise:
“I can tell that you’re a young blonde woman wearing a black shirt and a yellow jacket…”
“My God, it’s like you’ve known me all my life!”
Luann: Never mind TJ, what about the parents? I can’t recall seeing Ma and Pa deGroot doing anything other than making snide unhelpful commentary about their childrens’ lives. Is Luann supporting the entire family on her fabulous salary as a library page?
9CL: Edda shows about as much interest as I have right now.
C’shaft: I thought these grill fires were supposed to be caused by an overabundance of lighter fluid? Oh never mind–the idea of Cranky feeding his family large quantities of volatile materials would not surprise me in the slightest.
DT: “Wow, you nearly broke my neck with that whip! I’m impressed!”
FW: Okay, 1) Doesn’t Westview disable social networking sites and the like so the kids can, I don’t know, do school work on their computers instead of sharing boring pictures of teachers making out, and 2) do students really want to hear about their teachers making out? The only time I can recall having any interest in my instructors’ personal lives was when a former college prof of mine was arrested for what can only be termed as grossly inappropriate behavior towards his charges, and in that case my reaction was not amusement so much as disgusted revulsion and gratitude that I was never said prof’s type.
In other news, Cayla has switched from the Whoopi Goldberg to the Michelle Obama. It’s a step up, at least.
reFOOB: When men stereotype women, they’re hateful pigs. When women stereotype men, they’re put upon martyrs. Got it.
Marvin: I look forward to Marvin’s lighthearted take on euthanasia.
MT: John Thrasher’s army of trained squirrels spy on intruders in his realm!
MW: Is that the same restaurant where Jill Black got meddled into submission? Does Mary take all her “little chats” there? “Ah, welcome back, Mary! Your usual table is waiting for your poor so–um, friend and yourself…”
Uncle LumpyJune 21st, 2011 at 10:59 am [Reply]
I have to say, I chuckle every time I see “B-wad” in print.
“B-wad.” Heh.
Yup.
CalicoJune 21st, 2011 at 11:00 am [Reply]
@wossname (#2):
Oh, and not only a disgusting male-Farley is a dumb, disgusting male. Might as well pile it on as thick as possible while you can, Lynn.
And so the themes of Canadian-brand emasculation continue…
June 21st, 2011 at 11:02 am [Reply]
A3G: So I guess Lu Ann must have told Margo and/or Tommie about those dreams she used to have about her tennis coach. “Happy birthday, I’m your gift,” is certainly to-the-point. Lu Ann may need to be nudged along with an “Aren’t you going to unwrap me?”
RMMD: Rex goes directly from insisting on paying Berna for the boat to fantasizing about how fast it goes on open water. What does this prove? Only that Rex can’t keep a thought in his head for more than five seconds. Tomorrow he’ll be standing up there all, “I sure do like pimento loaf.”
9CL: Sigh. We’re never going to here the end of that penguin joke, are we?
OBH: Lookit Joe, flexing where he thinks his muscles are.
GT: Mimi surfaces to remind everyone that she’s the lead female in the strip, dammit. If Glory Alpaca wants the job she can take on the exciting duty of washing Gil’s socks and underwear.
S-M: So you can just call a meeting and have all of New York’s top crime bosses show up with no guns or guards? Gee, I wonder if Big Hoss is going to take advantage of that.
BB: Something about Otto’s new furry hottie gives me the creeps. I think it’s her drastically off-center mouth.
6C: Hilary Forth is everywhere today.
BC: So Johnny Hart’s been reincarnated already?
Popeye: Olive, if you see Popeye licking an Oid, you’ll need to seriously reevaluate your relationship.
Chip WhittleJune 21st, 2011 at 11:05 am [Reply]
Brewster Rockit: Balloon cactus people. I’m going to need time to figure how I feel about this. Especially since they’ve got the spikes shorn off.
Dick Tracy: Oh no! The Sunday Recap strip is invading!
Funky Winkerbean: Apparently, the kids at Scapegoat High aren’t aware there are other things on the Internet. Or they’re all reading the Son Of Stuck Funky blog.
Gasoline Alley: Well, getting the crane operator’s attention and warning of a child in peril is the sort of thing any four-year-old could do competently in moments. I wonder if Boog will be rescued before August.
Gil Thorp: “While Gil scores a victory in an unexpected spot.” The postseason?
Mandrake: OK, seriously, how do you have a computer do your lettering and still have it come out blurry and distorted?
DanJune 21st, 2011 at 11:09 am [Reply]
Is anyone else hoping that, just as 9/11 was the start of Brad’s reawakening to civic responsibility, this economic downturn and tragic layoff will spur his personal reinvention as an old-school labor leader? Imagine the slogans! “Eight hours for work, eight hours for sleep, eight hours for squishy double entendres and go-nowhere sexual tension!”
Esther BlodgettJune 21st, 2011 at 11:14 am [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#64): Dramatic otter!!
CalicoJune 21st, 2011 at 11:15 am [Reply]
@seismic-2 (#25):
If Cayla starts using skin lightening cream, then we will all know TB has really gone mad.
June 21st, 2011 at 11:18 am [Reply]
RMMD: Somehow when I pictured a strip called “The Seduction of Rex Morgan” I was thinking Oxycontin addiction, adolescent pornography, losing his medical license and gay prostitution NOT finally caving in and accepting Berna’s crappy-ass boat.
TophatJune 21st, 2011 at 11:18 am [Reply]
Anyone else feel bad for Luann here? Look at that innocent smile in the second panel. She… actually thinks this person is psychic. This person could tell her she’s a mongoose and she’d believe it. I guess Margo and Tommie are being economical, since a real psychic would probably cost a bit more than some crazy woman in the middle of the woods somewhere, and because giving Luann a mind reading would be like reading War and Peace, except all of the words have been replaced with adorable puppy pictures.
Sans SenseJune 21st, 2011 at 11:20 am [Reply]
He shan’t overcome.
Ned RyersonJune 21st, 2011 at 11:20 am [Reply]
RMBF (Rex Morgan, Boat Fondler ['F' word may be seasoned to taste]): I need to know more about Summer Knight and her sparring with Kelly over the cell phone bill (and maybe more about these ‘loser boyfriends’…did any of them operate a meth lab, for example?). Can we move on from Rex stroking his Johnson (or is that an Evinrude)?
CalicoJune 21st, 2011 at 11:23 am [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#50):
Hahah, a new species! We’d better put a call into Linnaeus and Darwin!
June 21st, 2011 at 11:25 am [Reply]
Mark Trail: I’m looking forward to the squirrel calling in Chip and Dale’s Rescue Rangers to sort this all out correctly.
Marvin: Hey, some good news: one of the cast of Marvin is going to be put down. Only…what, seven to go?
Moose and Molly: Moose just likes doing this so he can try figuring out which two birds are exactly alike.
The Phantom: “I don’t speak Llongo! Does anyone here speak English? Speak-o el English-O? Anyone?” “I speak English, Catherine.” “I know, Dave, you came with me. I mean them.” “How would they know if I spoke English?”
Spider-Man: I look forward to this meeting of the Men With Distractingly Short Arms.
Also I swear I know the center guy, promising to “take ‘im down a peg”, from somewhere but I’m not placing it.
Artist formerly known as BenJune 21st, 2011 at 11:27 am [Reply]
@seismic-2 (#61): I guess I had been assuming that the contrived coincidences were present because that’s what you do when you’re writing a drama strip. You raise some good points, though.
commodorejohnJune 21st, 2011 at 11:32 am [Reply]
A3G – There is nothing to brighten your morning like seeing Luann so ridiculously giddy over the smallest things that she starts vibrating. I hope she hits Margo’s resonant frequency and gets her in on it – her anger should be hilarious.
Bizarro – Win.
DT – Oh great, now they’re both talking doubles. How the hell are we supposed to tell them apart? Tell them apart?
Dilbert – Hee.
FW – Further evidence that Tom Batiuk has a negative grasp on the way any teenager anywhere has ever thought. (Who the hell is Nate?)
JP – I don’t care, man, as long as Abbey keeps dressing and posing like that, they can narrate the whole damn rest of the comic.
Luann – Of course, Nancy wants her rent, but even more important is keeping her son under her iron-fisted control. How I hope she dies in agony, alone and unloved.
MT – “Television?” Ha ha, no, I refuse to believe that TVs in Mark Trail have ever gotten smaller than the giant cabinet models with the eight-inch screen that takes fifteen minutes for the tubes to warm up. That must be a box of replacement tubes, that’s all.
MW – Note to self: Mary is taking her outside the hospital for the meddling proper. Do hospitals have some kind of meddle-dampening power? Research this.
NAOQV – Well I’m never going to sleep again.
OB – “Wait,” Lily thinks. “We have a dad?”
Phantom – That would seem to be a stunning oversight in the Jungle Patrol training regimen.
RMMD – Cripes, June remembers that they already have a boat. How the hell many do they need? Right, right, Woody Wilson strip.
SF – Ohhh yes. I cannot wait for the part where Ted tries to put a worm on the hook and winds up curled up in the bottom of the boat, crying.
Mordock999June 21st, 2011 at 11:37 am [Reply]
Today’s Luann 06/21/2011
Nancy – “So its SETTLED, then. Brad You WILL move back in with us, until you can get back your demeaning, low-paying job at Weenie World!”
Brad – “But Mom!”
Frank – “Nancy? Kids? I’ve got some BAD news. I’ve just lost my job to some kid who’ll work for one third of my salary.”
Nancy – “No Problem! OUR house is paid for. We’ll get TJ to “accidently” burn the Horner House to the ground and WE’LL live off the insurance settlement!” Later, You too, will get a job at Weenie world!”
Luann – “Wait what about me?”
Nancy – “YOU will move back into your old room. Next you’ll drop out of school. Then You’re going to get a job at weenie World!”
Frank – Now just a damned minute, Nancy! How come YOU are calling all the shots? Don’t you wanna hear what WE think?”
Brad – “YEAH! Don’t the REST of us have a SAY?!?”
Luann – “Right guys! Besides I want to move in with Quill because he so cuddily cute!”
Brad – “I’m gonna move in with Toni, for reasons that are obvious!”
Frank – “And I’m going to beg MY parents forgiveness for NOT listening to them and MARRYING Your dictatorial ass, then MOVE back home!”
Nancy – “No, No, and HELL NO! NOW, clean up your rooms and get dressed! You’re ALL going down to Weenie World and fill out applications! MOVE IT!!!”
Frank, Luann, and Brad – “Yes, Ma’am.”
_____________________________________
DEATH to TJ, whose Reappearance is Imminent!!!
June 21st, 2011 at 11:41 am [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#82):
LuAnn Powers, world’s first human tuning fork. Maybe her feeble mind was further damaged by all that carbon monoxide a while back.
June 21st, 2011 at 11:43 am [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#82): DT – Oh great, now they’re both talking doubles. How the hell are we supposed to tell them apart? Tell them apart?
Shoot them both, Spock!
Marion DelgadoJune 21st, 2011 at 11:46 am [Reply]
The FIRST rule of TJ Finance is you do NOT talk about TJ Finance!
CanuckDownSouthJune 21st, 2011 at 11:49 am [Reply]
@TheDiva (#67): re:FW: But learning how students could pass a meme through smartphones is new and scary! Or even Batiuk finds it unbelievable that students would care enough to pass the pic along – they’re only looking because of peer pressure that moment.
TheDivaJune 21st, 2011 at 11:53 am [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#82): Nate is apparently the Token Black Guy on the Westview faculty, just as Cayla is the Token Black Woman. As far as I know neither of them have any actual classes or purpose at the school–they’re just there for affirmative action. (Incidentally, I was forced to go to the official Funky Winkerbean site to learn this, which indicates to me that nobody else in the world has cared enough to record it.)
Chip WhittleJune 21st, 2011 at 11:54 am [Reply]
Alley Oop: OK, I’ll give them an Internet Dollar if not only is Earth 2 a duplicate of Earth 1, but Earth 2’s Alley Oop just set off in a spaceship and arrived over Earth 1. It’s kind of Futurama but it just might confuse everybody.
Buckets: Remember, kids, if you sleep in late just because the whole day is free it’s because you’re horrible, horrible people. And no, doing stuff at night doesn’t make it better! People who are up all night are horrible people even if they’re more comfortable doing stuff at night!
Compu-Toon: So, there was a time Emma didn’t notice why her car navigates so well on windy days?
Endtown: Sure, it’s the desparate gathering of persecuted post-apocalyptic mutants who’d kill each other for a five-year-old can of beans, but that doesn’t mean they can’t have built a lovely subterranean riverfront with a charming truss bridge and excellent public lighting.
Ferd’nand: Anyone could naturally worry a train was going to run them over in their hotel room on the seventh floor.
TomJune 21st, 2011 at 11:56 am [Reply]
So am I some kind of a pervert if I couldn’t help but notice Luann’s camel toe in the third panel?
I’ve enjoyed reading this blog over the years, but won’t be able to anymore because I’m going to go gouge my eyes out now.
commodorejohnJune 21st, 2011 at 12:04 pm [Reply]
@Tom (#90): You can’t not notice camel-toe in Luann. It leaps out of the frame and grabs your attention and screams at you incoherently in tongues long forgotten.
Baka GaijinJune 21st, 2011 at 12:05 pm [Reply]
@pugfuggly (#21): “…my heart will be with ‘jar of mustard.’” A jar of Grey Poopon perhaps?
@Chyron HR (#28): “How many gazebos do you she-males need?” I am working that into my next staff meeting presentation. I don’t know how but I will.
@Écureuil Écumant (#53): “[T]hey insert sapling branches into their anuses before approaching the cave…” They hold the half-lodging for the turkey legs.
@pugfuggly (#57): “…which would probably end with Spidey getting another beating and the mustard accidentally falling off a rooftop…” SEQUENCING ERROR: Spidey gets hit by the jar of French’s Yellow then falls off the rooftop then gets a beating.
Baka GaijinJune 21st, 2011 at 12:19 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#82): “I hope she hits Margo’s resonant frequency…” This tickles my inner physicist.
@commodorejohn (#82): If Ted’s involved, the “fishing” will involve using a claw machine to pick Star Wars action figures out of a machine in the lobby of a Red Lobster.
seismic-2June 21st, 2011 at 12:32 pm [Reply]
Ted Forth gets to fish for bass, and Dex doesn’t. Surely, this constitutes sufficient proof that there is no God.
Rocky StoneaxeJune 21st, 2011 at 12:35 pm [Reply]
@Sans Sense (#75):
RMMD: Somehow when I pictured a strip called “The Seduction of Rex Morgan” I was thinking Oxycontin addiction, adolescent pornography, losing his medical license and gay prostitution NOT finally caving in and accepting Berna’s crappy-ass boat.
Correction: It’s Dexter’s crappy-ass boat!
JasperJune 21st, 2011 at 12:37 pm [Reply]
MW- Let’s see, Liza’s in hot water for infractions in her job performance, has already spent 5 minutes of her 15 minute break in the restroom, and is going across the street to spill all to Mary and return to work within the remaining 10 minutes of her break? You stupid bitch, its no wonder you’re about to be fired.
MT- I can’t recall the last time someone got punched in Mark Trail, but I would bet my paycheck that this plot doesn’t end without a good punchout. And jail.
nitpickyJune 21st, 2011 at 12:40 pm [Reply]
Ferndale = Lily Dale, upstate NY town of psychics.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 21st, 2011 at 12:42 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#91): to be any more obvious, Luann would have to be wearing a Striker.
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 21st, 2011 at 12:43 pm [Reply]
Lobster Hair’s Time-Saving Tips: #3, Tabletop Perspective
When a tabletop is needed, it is preferable to ignore the MS Paint “Polygon” tool and go straight to freehand for an elegant quadrilateral. But handwork is so tedious! Having done one tabletop, however, we’ve actually created all we’ll ever need. Lobster Hair, of course, showcases the result.
Note how, in the third and fourth panels, our very same tabletop serves for two different people occupying the same chair. This is both concise and economical.
In tomorrow’s Time-Saving Tip #4, we’ll illustrate the subtle use of Horizontal Flip to make our tabletop even more versatile and efficient! Hint: Note the clever use of the laterally-symmetrical letters “WHAU” on the Myers-Briggs inventories on the tabletop.
Rocky StoneaxeJune 21st, 2011 at 12:45 pm [Reply]
Scary Gary — “Stop staring at me, you hockey puck!”
http://www.gocomics.com/scarygary
(The world’s greatest insult comic is still Don Rickles!)
Calvin's Cardboard BoxJune 21st, 2011 at 12:49 pm [Reply]
9CL -For those of you wondering, the punchline is “then the Penguin says ‘don’t worry, I’m not wearing anything under my costume, either’.”
DoodJune 21st, 2011 at 12:52 pm [Reply]
Rex Morgan, M.D.: If you shrunk Rex down, he’d make an excellent Ty-D-Bol man.
TaquelliJune 21st, 2011 at 12:53 pm [Reply]
Why does Brad need to move back in with his parents? They own the place he’s living in already. Surely they can float the $400 or so a month that they were getting from their son, and still collect rent from TJ, instead of trying to fill a hole and not get paid for weeks, plus the various moving costs and time wasted. And shouldn’t Brad be collecting unemployment, so he’s not so destitute that his family needs to support him? There is no reason at all for them to invite their adult son back into their home.
Except for the mom being a complete control freak, and of course, the wackiness of having everyone in the same home, so there can be goofy sexual misunderstandings. Because that’s surely what Luann needs more of, supergross scenes of people walking in on each other in compromising positions.
Black DrazonJune 21st, 2011 at 12:55 pm [Reply]
I like this Judge Parker at least partially because it seems to have been written by one of the few authors in comics that knows how the internet works and knows that other people know how the internet works. Oddly enough this translates to more love from me to Judge Parker’s Sophie, the-person-who-is-not-lecturing-us-about-the-Youtubes, who tends to be portrayed with far more intelligence and acts with more realistic behaviour than her peers, both in Judge Parker and *eyes flick up the post* …good god, we derailed the Tommie’s mother storyline to watch Lu Ann get her palm read? …both in Judge Parker and otherwise. Stay normal, Soph.
Frank Lee MeidereJune 21st, 2011 at 12:56 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#95):
Correction: It’s Dexter’s crappy-ass boat!
Thank you!
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 21st, 2011 at 12:57 pm [Reply]
9 Chucklunch Lane: Goes the MW route by dissolving a relationship that never actually existed in the first place. Brooke, Brooke. It’s not wise to ape a lowland gorilla.
Stroker AceJune 21st, 2011 at 12:59 pm [Reply]
Luann ~ TJ will simply move back to his old digs – the apartment of a US Senator. From which he will continue his sex-for-hire biz.
DoodJune 21st, 2011 at 1:00 pm [Reply]
Apartment 3-G How can Laura Lea possibly get a reading on Lu Ann, given the off-the-charts psychic energy being thrown off by Margo’s bun?
Artist formerly known as BenJune 21st, 2011 at 1:04 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#95):
Correction: It’s Dexter’s crappy-ass boat!
You’re right, of course. But with June playing the violin about how Berna will be offended if Rex doesn’t accept the boat outright, you can see where the confusion comes in.
MarcJune 21st, 2011 at 1:06 pm [Reply]
Something about today’s strips make me want to vomit with rage.
Luann- Nancy Degroot is an uncompoassionate over-controlling bitch
Funky- Everyone in Westview is a slack jawed moron. Who is NATE? Why do the toothless kids care about a picture of a couple teachers making out, and WHY is it important enough for anyone to give two shits about?
FOOB- We get it Lynn, men are the most dispicable creatures on the planet.
Cranky- The Department of Homeland security wants a recipe?
CalicoJune 21st, 2011 at 1:09 pm [Reply]
@Écureuil Écumant (#99):
Lobster Hair’s other time saving tip: Don’t read it (Reply All). Ever.
June 21st, 2011 at 1:10 pm [Reply]
@Tophat (#76): what’s the difference between a “real” psychic and some crazy woman in the middle of the woods somewhere?
bweeeappafrazzzawappazzazzzapakatawakatawaaaahhzzzJune 21st, 2011 at 1:11 pm [Reply]
This is a few days late, but I just read it last night
Family Circus 06/19/11
http://cst.rbma.com/content/Family_Circus?date=20110619
“Die in the desert, you stupid bird!” damn, Family Circus is brutal these days
Frank Lee MeidereJune 21st, 2011 at 1:12 pm [Reply]
9CL: A horse walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender it to him saying, “That’ll be ten dollars.” After putting the money in the till, the bartender says, “We don’t get many horses in here.” The horse answers, “At these prices, I’m not surprised.”
At no point in that joke is it necessary to point out that the horse talks. When telling it to uber-creative dickwads, however, I guess such things have to be pointed out.
DoodJune 21st, 2011 at 1:14 pm [Reply]
Rex Morgan, M.D. This strip is bravely breaking new ground with June’s intimate discussion with her man-in-the-boat.
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 21st, 2011 at 1:18 pm [Reply]
People keep saying it’s a picture of two people kissing. It’s not. It’s one person kissing and one person standing there, possibly thinking “Why does the soft one press her face to my eating place?”
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#100): (The world’s greatest insult comic is still Don Rickles!)
After Don went for a few minutes — at some Oscars telecast, I think — host Johnny Carson came back on and said, “Don just breaks me up with his joke.”
June 21st, 2011 at 1:22 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#114): It’s necessary to point out that the penguin talks because the joke is never going to get to the point where it says something, and knowing that, the shill must fill in that part in advance. In the same way that when a person is pretending to talk, they make way too many gestures.
For a perfect example of this, see ‘Dr. Doom’ in that Roger Corman Fantastic Four movie, voguing all his lines with charades-style pantomime. “Reed Richards! You (pointing at him) have (pretending to hold something in his arms) two (holds up two fingers of one hand) hours (draws imaginary circle on left wrist) to (holds up two index fingers, for variety) de- (makes a “D” with fingers) -cide (points at his side).”
Sans SenseJune 21st, 2011 at 1:45 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#95): Dexter lacks sufficient legal capacity to own a shoe much less a boat, hence it is Berna’s!
This GuyJune 21st, 2011 at 1:52 pm [Reply]
A3G: Aw, Lu Ann’s friends decided to get her defrauded for her birthday. How sweet!
Momma: “Closely intertwined?” Branches in your family tree should branch, or we may have to involve the authorities.
R==R: “You enter the clearing and find a gazebo…” “I launch a fireball at it!”
Artist formerly known as BenJune 21st, 2011 at 1:57 pm [Reply]
@Pseudo3D (#26): Re FC: The necklace is a gift from Mr T. Thel ain’t got no time for Jeffy’s jibber jabber.
FlummoxicatedJune 21st, 2011 at 2:02 pm [Reply]
My only glimpse of Luann is through this fine venue, so maybe I’m mistaken; from this vantage point though it looks like the mom is way too excited about getting her son to move back home, and the “Brad must move back with parents” setup seems to happen with alarming frequency. It’s a little too squicky for my tastes.
pugfugglyJune 21st, 2011 at 2:08 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#92):
Spidey couldn’t handle no Grey Poupon. Maybe a squeeze-tube of French’s. But I do maintain my original sequence of events:
(1) Spidey tries to defeat the inanimate jar of mustard and sustains several self-inflicted blows, as well as a glob of mustard in his eye.
(2) While he is writhing on the floor, a stiff breeze blows the mustard off the roof. It ruptures on impact.
(3) Spidey regains his composure and throws out a quick quip at the blob of mustard strewn across the alley below. He changes out of his costume and heads to the Daily Bugle, where he tries to sell his boss a photo of a jar of mustard. He fails.
(4) Dejected, he heads home to get an early start on that evening’s whining/TV-marathon.
commodorejohnJune 21st, 2011 at 2:15 pm [Reply]
@Flummoxicated (#121): That’s a pretty representative glimpse. About the only things missing from representing the strip as a whole are “sexy, sexy hijinks, tee-hee OH WAIT NO WE CAN’T THINK ABOUT SEX OR JESUS WILL HATE US” and “waah waah why won’t you love Gunther already, Luann?”
Chyron HRJune 21st, 2011 at 2:19 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#92): Like all good things in life, I stole that line from an episode of “The Simpsons”.
gleebJune 21st, 2011 at 2:19 pm [Reply]
@nitpicky (#97): @nitpicky (#97): And oddly, Lily Dale is the main character in Anthony Trollope’s The Small House at Allington.
Effluvius ErratusJune 21st, 2011 at 2:22 pm [Reply]
@pugfuggly (#122): Might I add Step 0: “Halfway through a hotdog, Peter’s spider-sense tingles, alerting him to the fact that it is without mustard.”; Step 1.5: Peter’s spider-sense utterly fails to warn him about a jar of relish sneaking up behind him; the relish and mustard get into heated argument over who will finish him off.
Chip WhittleJune 21st, 2011 at 2:23 pm [Reply]
Heathcliff: Heathcliff is Peter Parker? Man, think of the naps he’s going to be able to take now.
Luann: So, after like five years on the force, Brad’s accumulated savings were enough to get him home from the firehouse? This guy could use financial planning advice from M.C.Hammer.
Marmaduke: Depending on where the pool’s inflation nozzle is, this could be the dirtiest Marmaduke ever.
Reply All: I think I’ve finally figured out where I’ve seen Reply All’s characters’ lips before: they’re the clay rings of screaming horror from the Mister Bill shorts, from right before Sluggo tosses Mister Bill under a steamroller. Also they haunt my nightmares like clowns never do.
Scary Gary: “This is great, Gary! Thanks! Now I can be devoured by goldfish like I always wanted!”
Ziggy: Ziggy can no longer pleasure himself, or anyone else.
pugfugglyJune 21st, 2011 at 2:27 pm [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#126): Only if you promise that step 1.5 will last for two weeks, minimum.
Artist formerly known as BenJune 21st, 2011 at 2:28 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#18): Nice Dogma riff.
bourbon babe, unbuckledJune 21st, 2011 at 2:30 pm [Reply]
@Little Guy (#41): Well, Mustard Jar has the Power of Inert Objects Under Gravitational Pull, which defeats Spidey every time. So, yeah, my money’s on the Jar.
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#64): Oh, man, I needed that squee today (just came from an expensive–and painful–dental appointment).
@TheDiva (#67):
John Thrasher’s army of trained squirrels spy on intruders in his realm!
Does this mean that the famed Racoon Patrol has been replaced by Spy Squirrels?
@Écureuil Écumant (#99): Lobster Hair: that’s brilliant. An insult to lobsters everywhere, but brilliant.
CdS: Because my love for this strip knows no bounds, I just want to point out that the “stuffed-locker” joke is well-trodden territory, but Thompson manages to freshen it up with great art—and the “h” in “BHOOM” is a nice touch.
VioletJune 21st, 2011 at 2:30 pm [Reply]
Damn, Mary is ruthless in her determination to get Liza out of the picture. “So your dereliction of duty and gross unprofessionalism have you teetering on the brink of termination? Well, that’s nothing a little shirking can’t solve. Let’s get pie!”
UncleJeffJune 21st, 2011 at 2:35 pm [Reply]
Has Sandy Cyst dropped “Family Circus of Values”?
Did Big Daddy Keane finally order the hit?
June 21st, 2011 at 2:35 pm [Reply]
@Sans Sense (#118):
Dexter lacks sufficient legal capacity to own a shoe much less a boat, hence it is Berna’s!
I respectfully disagree. Dexter might be a simple soul*, but he’s the one who purchased the boat in the first place. Whether he paid for it with Berna’s money or not is irrelevant. If I give my eight-year-old son money to buy a toy, then it becomes his toy!
*I suspect that Dex is borderline mentally retarded, or to use the current PC term, he’s “developmentally disabled”.
VioletJune 21st, 2011 at 2:43 pm [Reply]
@Taquelli (#103):
Thank you! I was sputtering with too much incoherent rage to properly articulate what was so crack-headed about this particular plot development.
Sans SenseJune 21st, 2011 at 2:44 pm [Reply]
Jeffy + Ziggy = Jiggy: Have you noticed how well I’ve been behaving? me?
Rocky StoneaxeJune 21st, 2011 at 2:45 pm [Reply]
@bweeeappafrazzzawappazzazzzapakatawakatawaaaahhzzz (#113):
This is a few days late
It probably took a few days just to type in your username!
Rocky StoneaxeJune 21st, 2011 at 2:50 pm [Reply]
@Sans Sense (#135):
Mickey Rooney’s father made a career out of playing “Jiggy” in the movies:
http://www.comicmix.com/media/2007/07/22/jiggs–maggie-out-west-1s.jpg
Frank Lee MeidereJune 21st, 2011 at 2:57 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#133): Furthermore, it was established from the beginning that Berna and Dex were splitting the money, so it’s Dex’s money that he used to buy the boat.
And why does everyone think Dex is “developmentally challenged.” I agree he’s as thick as a brick shithouse, but how is that different from ever other character in this strip? It’s not like Berna’s vying for membership in MENSA, Rex is too dumb to call the cops when told someone is breaking into his office safe, and June — well, June’s not dumb, but she sure as hell is a self-centred bitch.
Effluvius ErratusJune 21st, 2011 at 2:58 pm [Reply]
@pugfuggly (#128): I can guarantee that it will take close to four weeks for the mustard and relish to thwart one another in turn, right up to Step 1.6: Peter tries to use his webbing to remove the mustard from his eye, leading to six weeks of “Why are you punching yourself”? during which time MJ is kidnapped, rescued, wins a Tony, is kidnapped again, succumbs to Stockhold Syndrome and turns into Ketchup-head (all of which will happen off panel and be explain through excrucriately details expositional dialogue…amounting to at least four more weeks).
Sans SenseJune 21st, 2011 at 2:59 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#133): But it’s so simple! All I have to do is divine from what I know of Dexter: is he the sort of man who would buy a boat with his own money or his sister’s? Now, a clever man would buy the boat with his own money, because he would know that only a great fool would challenge that right. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose that Dexter used his own money. But he must have known I was not a great fool, he would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose that he paid for it with Berna’s money.
Baka GaijinJune 21st, 2011 at 3:05 pm [Reply]
@pugfuggly (#122): When you put it that way, yes, your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
@Chyron HR (#124): Awww, it embiggens my heart to hear that.
LiamJune 21st, 2011 at 3:07 pm [Reply]
MW-Don’t go on break, Liza, it’s a trap. The head nurse has been killing patients and blaming you for it.
teenchyJune 21st, 2011 at 3:09 pm [Reply]
@seismic-2 (#25): @spike (#31): @Calico (#74): Taken as a whole it’s giving me a creepy The Bluest Eye vibe, creepier than I usually get from this strip.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 21st, 2011 at 3:12 pm [Reply]
@Sans Sense (#140): now THAT is a movie riff! *applaz!*
Frank Lee MeidereJune 21st, 2011 at 3:14 pm [Reply]
@Sans Sense (#140): You have a very large brain.
SwordsmithJune 21st, 2011 at 3:15 pm [Reply]
OK I’m a day late on this but did nobody think to warn Baka about yesterday’s Cul De Sac? I’ve been waiting for that shoe to drop for months now.
Walker of DogJune 21st, 2011 at 3:19 pm [Reply]
A3G: Poor Laura. She’ll use her usual psychic approach, visualizing herself inside a representation of her subject’s mind, only to find herself in an empty dumpster. Then the lid will close.
FC: Thel is wearing an ankh and lives in the futuristic bubble city of Logan’s Run. She keeps coloring her hand-crystal with beet juice and tries to sneak into Carousel. The priests gently escort her out and insist that she must wait her turn.
GT: “Gil scores a victory in an unexpected spot.” The G-spot?
RMMD: Panel-one Rex can’t wait until Friday’s midnight movie:
It’s the pelvic thrust that starts to drive you insane.
Let’s do the Time Warp again.
Plug: While all Pluggers (he-Pluggers, anyway) may patronize barber shops, not all barber-shop customers are Pluggers. Therefore, I will accept NO Plugger points.
AviatrixJune 21st, 2011 at 3:26 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#138): There’s just a slow mounting sensation of borderline not quite qualified to look after himself. A little too trusting, not fully cognizant of consequences. I’m not sure I have this information on any better authority than we know that Rex is gay, but it fits. I don’t think we have to see “a very special episode” or overtly stereotypical behaviour before we can have an integrated comic strip cast.
Frank Lee MeidereJune 21st, 2011 at 3:47 pm [Reply]
@Aviatrix (#148): For all that, he really doesn’t seem any less out of touch than many of the “educators” I work with. However, granting what you say, I think Berna’s been “gaslighting” him since they were children, making him question his every decision until he’s no longer capable of coherent thought.
Of course, this was pretty easy since he’s really, really dumb.
Maybe I just have sympathy because I’m also incapable of taking care of myself. I just travelled for three hours for a class that had been cancelled last week. In my defence, however, I’m really, really dumb.
(PS: “Gaslighting” — a good example of a verbed noun. The more I think of it, the more I suspect you’re right aboutnew “pure” verbs being rare.)
Phred22June 21st, 2011 at 3:50 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#66): So in #10 days, Spidey could describe JJJ as ’smart, has money, and knows what’s going on.’ Do the first and last really describe the Jonah we see today? Sounds like that would clear him now.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 21st, 2011 at 4:02 pm [Reply]
@Swordsmith (#146): I warned him.
Uncle LumpyJune 21st, 2011 at 4:10 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#149):
The more I think of it, the more I suspect you’re right about new “pure” verbs being rare.
Did you Google that?
Rocky StoneaxeJune 21st, 2011 at 4:10 pm [Reply]
Does anyone have a source for Dexter Holt Goes to Cooking School (my title)?
It’s a storyline in Rex Morgan, M.D. that ran from roughly 12-93 to 4-94. I found a listing of strips in the Comic Art Collection/Michigan State University Libraries/Special Collections Division, and it piqued my interest in reading this story for myself.
Some of the highlights by Woody Wilson (writer) and Tony DiPreta (artist) include:
—————————————————–
(Dec. 14, 1993) — Dexter has a new microwave, and Wendy offers to bring some cookbooks over.
—————————————————–
(Jan. 3, 1994) — Berna won’t let Dex worm his way out of cooking school.
—————————————————–
(Jan. 4, 1994) — Berna tells Dexter he has to learn to cook.
—————————————————–
(Jan. 11, 1994) — Berna has decided what her brother needs.
—————————————————–
(Feb. 7, 1994) — Berna isn’t going to let Dexter weasel out.
—————————————————–
(Mar. 5, 1994) — Dexter seems to be doing okay at cooking class, while his sister Berna worries about having made him take it.
—————————————————–
(Mar. 26, 1994) — Dexter Holt has taken up cooking, and Officer Wilson appreciates it.
—————————————————–
(Apr. 6, 1994) — The chef and the doctor agree that Dexter’s a born cook.
—————————————————–
(Apr. 7, 1994) — Dexter has discovered he loves cooking.
It’s my fervent hope that Dexter will one day remember his “love” of cooking, and decide to serve Berna a side of poison the next time he prepares a meal for the family!
Baka GaijinJune 21st, 2011 at 4:22 pm [Reply]
@Swordsmith (#146): “Won’t somebody thing of the Baka?” /wailing woman voice. There have been too many warnings in the past for that particular strip. I have it blocked at the firewall before it can ever invade my computer with its irrational fascination with evliscaryclowns.
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#151): If I didn’t thank you yesterthread, I thank you now for the warning, and FOOBed again for the Strange Brew warning.
AnachrosaurusJune 21st, 2011 at 4:25 pm [Reply]
A-3G: “Happy Birthday! I’m your gift!”
“The Girls in the Band”… not a musical.
commodorejohnJune 21st, 2011 at 4:25 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#153): You’ve got to be making that up. There are other Dex storylines!?
rocketbrideJune 21st, 2011 at 4:26 pm [Reply]
If TJ is a projection of Brad’s subconscious, does that make the times TJ hit on Mrs. de Groot more or less disturbing? Discuss.
Marion DelgadoJune 21st, 2011 at 4:31 pm [Reply]
Actually you can’t make half as good a case for Luanncest as for Nancest. Jocasta DeGroot, your son is waiting at the rough trade entrance.
Effluvius ErratusJune 21st, 2011 at 4:46 pm [Reply]
@Marion Delgado (#158): But in the end, it’s the readers who will poke out their eyes.
Frank Lee MeidereJune 21st, 2011 at 4:55 pm [Reply]
@Uncle Lumpy (#152): No. But I did just now and it seems to hold up: “e-mailed,” “faxed,” and in one unfortunate case, even “ignitioned” (as in “I ignitioned my car.”)
Why do you ask?
AnonymousJune 21st, 2011 at 4:59 pm [Reply]
S-M: Since the henches are George and Lenny, maybe the Big Boss is a rabbit?
Fashion PoliceJune 21st, 2011 at 5:11 pm [Reply]
Some may scoff at Judge Parker but where else can one find a principal character elegantly attired in a cross between a negilgée and a jump suit, and look not only attractive but appropriate in it? Try to imagine Miss Abigail Thompson in that garb.
Uncle LumpyJune 21st, 2011 at 5:13 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#153) and @commodorejohn (#156):
Hey, speaking of recurring characters in Rex Morgan, M.D., can we please have Dr. Keith Cavell back? It’s been so long he’s almost disappeared from the Internet. Here’s Dr. C. from a 1957 strip in Singapore’s Straits Times, dark ‘n’ brooding as always. Plot idea: June could call his bluff on the incessant flirting, with hilarious results!
You can keep goody-two-shoes Dr. Brice Adams, though.
Uncle LumpyJune 21st, 2011 at 5:14 pm [Reply]
@Fashion Police (#162):
… where else can one find a principal character elegantly attired in a cross between a negilgée and a jump suit …
That Sam always was the natty sort.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 21st, 2011 at 5:22 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#149): here, this might help you feel better.
(note goat at ~2:05)
Jake MorgendorrffrJune 21st, 2011 at 5:25 pm [Reply]
If “TJ” is a psychological construct, I really don’t want to contemplate the Oedipal Horror of that story arc where he walked in on Brad’s mother in the shower. (And, yes, these strips move so slowly I consider that incident to be an “arc.”)
Also didn’t TJ turn out to be a master cook or something?
HairheadJune 21st, 2011 at 5:31 pm [Reply]
Luann – Hmm, let’s see, Brad has worked at a well-paying union job for several years, during which he has lived in a house owned by his parents, sharing the rent with a roommate. Brad doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink, doesn ‘t chase women, doesn’t spend his money on cars or go on vacation. Because it’s an official layoff, Brad will get unemployment income right away, enough to pay his share of the rent; otherwise whenever there was an economic downturn, the MILLIONS who go on unemployment would have to move, too. Plus, the deGroots could just give Brad a couple of months grace on the rent, while he finds a job. That would be far less expensive than moving Brad in, advertising for new tenants, interviewing, credit-checking and reference-checking the new tenants, fixing up the house for viewing, etc.
In other words, MOVING BRAD BACK IN MAKES NO SENSE WHATSOEVER EXCEPT THAT NANCY DEGROOT’S PERVERTED DESIRES MUCH BE KOWTOWED TO BY THE ENTIRE FAMILY.
BTW, it was revealed long ago that TJ is an orphan with an independent income from a family who set up a trust for him, then left the country
People are always noting how Evans’ treatment of high school girls reveals squicky things about his life — I say that Evans’ treatment of the mother-son relationship is FAR, FAR, FAR, SQUICKIER.
seismic-2June 21st, 2011 at 5:34 pm [Reply]
@Uncle Lumpy (#163): I thought Dr. Keith Cavell (who was by far the most interesting character, basically the Marty Moon of RMMD) got killed off a long time ago. Can someone verify or deny?
cheech wizardJune 21st, 2011 at 5:39 pm [Reply]
Luann – What I’d really like to see here is for Toni to step up and offer to move in with Brad to help cover the rent, since he’s already giving her more sausage than Bob Evans. Nancy would absolutely shit her pants, while Brad would have a discharge of a different nature in his. It would actually be fun and entertaining for once.
commodorejohnJune 21st, 2011 at 5:41 pm [Reply]
@Hairhead (#167): Evans is basically a never-ending fountain source of squick – a God-damn squick factory. Why should we have to pick and choose what to be nauseated by when the entire strip is one giant smorgasbord of quease?
cheech wizardJune 21st, 2011 at 5:44 pm [Reply]
@seismic-2 (#168): Yep, Keith got croaked way back when – perhaps even when it was still being produced by the original artist, or at least when it still hewed to a stern, nonsexy art style. Keith had to be gotten out of the way so Rex and June could finally get married, though I forget exactly how it happened.
The long-lost character I’d like to see come back is Holly from Gil Thorpe – how many of you mudges out there remember who she is/was?
seismic-2June 21st, 2011 at 5:46 pm [Reply]
@Aviatrix (#148): I get the feeling that Dex has always been rather slow and has needed his big sister to watch out for him, but I don’t think he’s so much so that legally he would be considered incapable of signing contracts, such as buying a boat. It seems that he is, however, suffering from progressively severe dementia, and he is still at a stage where he is at least capable of recognizing his decline. That’s why he gave the boat away – he realizes that as he gets worse, he would pose a danger to himself by taking to the water.
AtomicDogJune 21st, 2011 at 6:06 pm [Reply]
Marvin – I see that the “Evil Dogcatcher” trope is alive and well.
Chip WhittleJune 21st, 2011 at 6:18 pm [Reply]
@Uncle Lumpy (#163):
Here’s Dr. C. from a 1957 strip in Singapore’s Straits Times, dark ‘n’ brooding as always. Plot idea: June could call his bluff on the incessant flirting, with hilarious results!
Never mind Dr. C. Read that Dick Tracy, first panel:
“See? It says ‘Stilt Experts Wanted For Murder- Used To Be In Vaudeville’.”
I suppose that’s a headline about the suspects in a murder, and not a vacant-jobs listing for the stilt-expert-hit-man market, but still, imagine the story which has a moment in which that is a logical thing to be said. Then throw that away and remember those words appeared in Dick Tracy. But still, what Ozymandiases of crazy stories have gone before us!
MustangJune 21st, 2011 at 6:20 pm [Reply]
3G – I don’t think I’ve seen Luann that excited since she found out there are other sites on the internet besides that awesome AOL one she’s been enjoying for several years.
CalicoJune 21st, 2011 at 6:21 pm [Reply]
@cheech wizard (#171):
You know who I want to come back to the comics? Chef Tito from RM.
Did he die, or what?
When my Dad was ill and in hospital at the Greenwich Hospital in CT, there was an altered (somehow, as it was 1996) RM comic pasted near the elevators, featuring Tito-I think it was a drive to get folks tested for diabetes, or to give $ to one of the Hospital’s cancer funds. Or something.
Bring back Tito!
June 21st, 2011 at 6:24 pm [Reply]
Apparently Mary doesn’t like to shank her victims at the hospital. Too many doctors around, and too much of a chance that they might recover.
cheech wizardJune 21st, 2011 at 6:26 pm [Reply]
@Calico (#176): If we’re talking about dead characters, you know who I’d like to see come back? Lisa from FW…oh, wait…
The RidgerJune 21st, 2011 at 6:27 pm [Reply]
RMMD: I thought Dex gave Rex the boat. Why are they so worried about hurting Berna’s feelings by refusing it?
Slylock: In Panel One, only the dog has piddled in the pool…
commodorejohnJune 21st, 2011 at 6:27 pm [Reply]
@Calico (#176): Tito was name-dropped in September 2009, I know that, but I can’t recall actually seeing him in the 5 years I’ve been following Rex Morgan regularily.
…what has this site done to me!?
AviatrixJune 21st, 2011 at 6:31 pm [Reply]
@seismic-2 (#172): Ahh, not having read this strip before Josh revealed its glory to me, I never saw Dex in his prime. I’ll buy that explanation, too.
AviatrixJune 21st, 2011 at 6:32 pm [Reply]
@The Ridger (#179): Nah, Rex is worried about not getting a free boat by refusing it, while June just wants to spoil Rex’s fun. The feelings (and mental capacity) of Berna and Dex aren’t even on their radar.
cheech wizardJune 21st, 2011 at 6:35 pm [Reply]
JP – Abby – “What’s that number at lower right that keeps increasing?”
Sophie – “That’s active page views for the site – just crossed one million.”
Abby – “One million people are following this site just to see if a woman’s going to commit suicide? That’s pretty morbid.”
Sophie – “Uh…no. That’s the traffic for MY web site. I switched on the web cam about 10 minutes ago. Lean over a little further, willya?”
Uncle LumpyJune 21st, 2011 at 6:40 pm [Reply]
@cheech wizard (#171):
Yep, Keith got croaked way back when …
Crap. Well, then, Johnny Mallotte from Mark Trail?
The RidgerJune 21st, 2011 at 6:46 pm [Reply]
@Captain Plaid Pants (#5): As someone said recently (it was on FB, okay?) “I heard that Canadians were rioting and it shattered a preconception I didn’t even realize I’d had.”
seismic-2June 21st, 2011 at 6:54 pm [Reply]
A character I would like to see come back is Mary Worth’s ne’er-do-well sad-sack son. He’s still alive, isn’t he, or did he maybe drink himself to death or somehow otherwise meet his demise pursuing one of his pathetic schemes to win parental approval? When was the last time we saw him?
Frank Lee MeidereJune 21st, 2011 at 6:55 pm [Reply]
@The Ridger (#179):
RMMD: I thought Dex gave Rex the boat. Why are they so worried about hurting Berna’s feelings by refusing it?
Well, that’s what some of us are saying. After all, he’s the one who bought it with his share of the money, and he’s the one who gave it to Rex here, and confirmed it here — Berna merely said it was a good idea went along with it. Ever since then, it’s been her gift.
Pretty sweet — generosity riding on other people’s coat-tails.
Of course, the real puzzle is why people keep giving the Morgans boats.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 21st, 2011 at 7:03 pm [Reply]
@cheech wizard (#183): *snurk*
love it.
False TaleJune 21st, 2011 at 7:04 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#187): BOAT!
The RidgerJune 21st, 2011 at 7:08 pm [Reply]
@The Ridger (#179): When I looked at this earlier, nobody had pointed out about Dex. I should have read before I posted! Sorry!
Frank Lee MeidereJune 21st, 2011 at 7:09 pm [Reply]
@Captain Plaid Pants (#5): @The Ridger (#185):
I interviewed the Canadian playwright Michael Hollingsworth a number of years back (he wrote a series of plays called The History of the Village of the Small Huts) and we got talking about our reputation as being “polite.” He said, “Has it ever occurred to you that this is because we’re always so close to violence that if we weren’t polite we’d be constantly fighting?” (That’s from my memory — I don’t have the article at hand.) I thought it was a very insightful comment. (Far more insightful than his plays.)
June 21st, 2011 at 7:10 pm [Reply]
@False Tale (#189): HUH?
The RidgerJune 21st, 2011 at 7:21 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#191): Reminds me of Andrew Greeley saying that Irish wolfhounds had to be sweet-tempered because their owners got drunk and out of control too often to keep mean dogs. (It’s okay ’cause he’s Irish! amiright?)
cheech wizardJune 21st, 2011 at 7:22 pm [Reply]
@Uncle Lumpy (#184): Yeah – back in the bad old days, Keith was the one thing that made Rex Morgan halfway interesting. Then they figured out they could just draw June and her friends with big perky tits, so I guess he became expendable.
Frank Lee MeidereJune 21st, 2011 at 7:25 pm [Reply]
@The Ridger (#193): One of my mother’s favourite authors. And yes, it’s okay because he’s Irish. And a priest.
cheech wizardJune 21st, 2011 at 7:44 pm [Reply]
A3G – “Happy birthday! I’m your gift!”
I’m pretty sure that this is an homage to L’il Abner – except in the original, the character speaking was a pig.
gnome de blogJune 21st, 2011 at 7:48 pm [Reply]
@Hairhead (#167), @cheech wizard (#169), @commodorejohn (#170):
All of the above.
Earth to Evans: Brad isn’t a doofus any more. I’ll bet he can parlay his outstanding firefighting skills into a job or a consulting business in the safety field. There’s a demand, even in a down economy.
Outer Space to Evans: Toni ‘n Brad been doin’ it like rabbits for a long time. The contortions you make to deny it are a whole hell of a lot squirmier than just taking for granted what what everybody knows anyway. Give it a rest.
Alternate Universe to Evans: Have the nerve to prove cheech wizard wrong. I’ll be you can’t do it.
Luann is now officially more infuriating than Foob, Funky, or even Brook McEldowney Enterprises.
gnome de blogJune 21st, 2011 at 7:54 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#191):
Anybody who can appreciate the difference between Canadian hockey players and Europeans would agree. The Sedin twins have gold medals but not a Stanley Cup because they don’t know how to live on that fine edge of violence.
June 21st, 2011 at 8:03 pm [Reply]
@The Ridger (#193): that’s actually true of all large dogs. If a medium sized dog goes rogue, you’ve got a chance to fight it off. (note that police dogs are medium sized. . . .)
a mastiff or other giant breed? fuggeddaboutit. Hence why all large breeds are bred for temperament by anyone with half a brain.
DaggerJune 21st, 2011 at 8:06 pm [Reply]
Wait, Brad gets to keep his firefighting uniform? Does he have two weeks left or something? Because it doesn’t seem like that would encourage on-the-job competency. “Sure captain, I can carry those seniors in the burning rest home to safety. Oh wait, my last shift ends in 30 minutes. I’ll help a couple of them. I guess.”
commodorejohnJune 21st, 2011 at 8:15 pm [Reply]
@Dagger (#200): I’m pretty sure that when Nancy deGroot decides she wants her son back at home under her thrall, he’s just retroactively never employed there.
LiamJune 21st, 2011 at 8:15 pm [Reply]
MT-”My son Mike” as opposed to your other son referred to as “The son my lying cheating whore of a wife had with the milk man”
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 21st, 2011 at 8:19 pm [Reply]
@Liam (#202): “Momma”, the unseen strips. . . .
LiamJune 21st, 2011 at 8:25 pm [Reply]
FC-Jeffy no matter how much you suck up your parents are stilling going to sell you.
Dennis the Menace-Mommy’s thinking of planting something else.
AhClemJune 21st, 2011 at 8:33 pm [Reply]
With all this talk about characters we’d like to see brought back in RMMD, there can be only one choice: Cue!!
Harry FJune 21st, 2011 at 8:43 pm [Reply]
Luann Well, Brad, maybe if you wore your uniform as nicely around the firehouse as you do when you go home, you might still have a job.
Mark BJune 21st, 2011 at 8:47 pm [Reply]
Brad was the last man laid off, so if just ONE firefighter got injured so badly they couldn’t work, then Brad would get rehired, right? I think Toni needs to watch her back next time she visits Brad.
LiamJune 21st, 2011 at 8:49 pm [Reply]
Apartment 3G-Isn’t this how letters to Penthouse start?
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 21st, 2011 at 8:53 pm [Reply]
@Liam (#208): when they aren’t from a student at a large Midwestern University, yes.
cheech wizardJune 21st, 2011 at 8:53 pm [Reply]
@Mark B (#207): Actually, I’ve been wondering if that’s where this is going – that some firefighter will be heroically injured or killed, and Brad will be recalled to fill his/her place in eternal guilt. Perhaps Evans is scheming to get rid of Toni – she is a pretty flat and boring character. But I don’t think this would actually happen unless Evans has been apprenticing to Batuik.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 21st, 2011 at 8:53 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#209): a student who never thought that they’d be writing to Penthouse. . . .
Rocky StoneaxeJune 21st, 2011 at 8:55 pm [Reply]
@Uncle Lumpy (#163):
(re: Rex Morgan) Okay, you like Dr. Keith Cavell, but you don’t like Dr. Brice Adams. How do you feel about Melissa* returning to the strip?
http://www.comicartfans.com/gallerypiece.asp?piece=756593&gsub=53032
*I never knew Melissa’s last name or back-story, but I always fancied that she and Mary Worth were sisters!
cheech wizardJune 21st, 2011 at 9:04 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#212): Oh gawd! I’d forgotten all about Melissa! Of course, if she ever did come back, it would have to be as a withered, fly-infested corpse stored in the closet. Not that anyone would notice the difference.
Mark BJune 21st, 2011 at 9:11 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#212): Wow, you don’t see harridans much anymore. Not even on the comics page.
Mark BJune 21st, 2011 at 9:13 pm [Reply]
@cheech wizard (#213): Come to think of it, Melissa does remind me a bit of Norman Bates’ mother.
Mark BJune 21st, 2011 at 9:15 pm [Reply]
@cheech wizard (#210): Very plausible scenario. Maybe Toni falls again, only this time Brad isn’t there to catch her, because he’s been laid off.
AnonymousJune 21st, 2011 at 9:17 pm [Reply]
@cheech wizard (#169):
Pretty sure they’ve never had sex, as anytime B-wad tries Toni reminds them how great it is that they’re taking it slow. He was almost there but after losing his job she’s never going to have sex with him now that he’s living with his mom.
Peanut GalleryJune 21st, 2011 at 9:26 pm [Reply]
@Pozzo (#17):
Buchholz Surfer used to do that quite nicely. Someone really should start it up again…
June 21st, 2011 at 9:34 pm [Reply]
@Écureuil Écumant (#47): It could be Tau as the symbol for torque. Because this comic is twisted. Or because they are fans of Torquemada.
Helen ClarkJune 21st, 2011 at 9:36 pm [Reply]
Harridan? Did someone mention harridans? Because I ((hic)) have something to say about that.
Jesus H. Christ—is that harridan Mary Worth taking that poor girl to a diner in her moment of need? Goddammit, you prissy biddy, a girl in tears doesn’t need coffee or tea. She needs a goddam drink. Whiskey. Scotch. Gin. Vodka if she’s a bit of a weak sister.
Give that girl a shot of something strong and send her right back to her job.
. . . What? She’s a nurse? Okay, maybe just some ((hic)) vodka then.
MasonJune 21st, 2011 at 9:49 pm [Reply]
She must not be a very good psychic if she thinks Lu Ann has friends.
seismic-2June 21st, 2011 at 9:51 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#212): Oh my goodness – Melissa!!! I always thought she served as the life model for Peter Parker’s Aunt. Anyway, Melissa served the same purpose as Aunt Iris did in the recent A3G arcs – the manipulator pulling the strings to make sure that all the other characters wound up in what she perceived as their proper places in life, free will be damned. That meant getting Rex and June married, more than anything else, but I seem to remember that she meddled into Keith Cavell’s life a lot too (when he returned to town from his various rapscallion endeavors). Every time she summoned Rex Morgan for an emergency house call on account of chest pains or whatever, we were sure this was the end of Melissa, but somehow she kept on going. I wonder just when she did finally die, or whether she was instead just raised bodily into heaven, to take over for God every now and then.
pugfugglyJune 21st, 2011 at 9:54 pm [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#139):
Now that is comic strip gold. I particularly like the idea of Spidey getting mustard in his eye (“AAAAAGH! Mustard in my EYE!“) and fixing it with a shot of webbing (“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!! Mustard AND webbing in my EYE!!!“)
I’ll send it off to Stan Lee in the morning.
@Baka Gaijin (#141):
Bah, I had to cut the cartoons out my newsletter to make more room for my extended editorials on how my perfect blend of marxism, libertarianism and pastarfarianism will never get implemented as long as the Majestic 12 Masons of the Illuminati control the american coffee trade. Lousy democrats….
commodorejohnJune 21st, 2011 at 9:57 pm [Reply]
@Uncle Lumpy (#163): You know who I want back? Oki Merlot, that’s who. Hugh Avery and Heather the Gold-Digging Nanny wouldn’t hurt, either.
seismic-2June 21st, 2011 at 9:57 pm [Reply]
Toni elopes with Dirk, a job slot opens up. Brad gets his job back, Mama DegrootOfAllEvil gets rid of her rival, everyone lives happily ever after. Strip ends. Forever. As of tomorrow. Please??????
Mark BJune 21st, 2011 at 10:04 pm [Reply]
OK, I totally missed Cayla’s new hairdo? Isn’t she supposed to do that AFTER she leaves town and doesn’t tell anyone where she went?
Esther BlodgettJune 21st, 2011 at 10:05 pm [Reply]
@Mark B (#216): I have a sudden vision of Clarence the angel pulling Brad out of a river and showing him how the world would be without him. But the angel looks like TJ. It’s a pretty terrifying vision, actually.
Mark BJune 21st, 2011 at 10:16 pm [Reply]
@Esther Blodgett (#227): Actually, the last few months of the strip have been Clarence showing Dirk how things would have turned out without him around. The resolution will be a reset from the point he pulled the cheap IKEA bookshelf off Mrs. DeGroot, where Dirk becomes the most respected and loved character in town, and Brad once again recedes to minor character status.
Peanut GalleryJune 21st, 2011 at 10:16 pm [Reply]
@Peanut Gallery (#218): Okay, I’ll start:
Opening night, my friend. No bare feet allowed!!
Yeah. Very classy. Throwing away all my old socks.
Who would do that? Are you? Are you?
You might say I’m investing in myself.
Ha! I wouldn’t get my hopes up! There’s nothing here, boss.
Oh my gosh! How did you know??
I just started my break. Have you noticed how well I’ve been behaving?
Stop shovin’! I’m next!
June 21st, 2011 at 10:20 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#195): well, a Jesuit (you know, the Unitarian of Roman Catholicism…). :D
I like seeing the “supporting cast” members of the serials return from time to time. Some are pretty cool, and their occasional resurfacing gives a continuity to the strip. Johnny Malotte trotted through Mark Trail a couple of years ago. Ian and Toby and other Charterstone inmates occasionally steal the spotlight from Mary Worth. Lenore Foster (based on a real woman!), Niki, Max “the Ax” Mallory, etc. have been interesting characters in RMMD, along with June’s cousin Brook and boyfriend Toots.
And yes, I’m only saying this because I really want Dr. Andy Reed to make an comeback, too.
June 21st, 2011 at 10:24 pm [Reply]
@cheech wizard (#178): Bahahaha!
seismic-2June 21st, 2011 at 10:24 pm [Reply]
Charterstone Charlie deserves his own strip.
Mole Man FanJune 21st, 2011 at 10:26 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#160): Re-read your link at the end of #149, re-read Uncle Lumpy’s question, and I’ll say no more.
@Frank Lee Meidere (#192): #189: An antonym and a rhyme.
(You seemed to be honestly asking, please excuse if I’m out-of-line with these hints.)
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 21st, 2011 at 10:31 pm [Reply]
@Mark B (#216): Maybe Toni falls again, only this time Brad isn’t there to catch her, because he’s been laid off.
“So you see, Brad, you really did have a Wonderful Life.” (Gaah! Esther Blodgett beats me to it!)
June 21st, 2011 at 10:32 pm [Reply]
Yes, Tito! He and Berna had a thing going. Maybe he will come back when he sniffs money in the air.
bats :[June 21st, 2011 at 11:12 pm [Reply]
@seismic-2 (#232): oh, good lord, yes. Mary Worth is way too underplagued by nemeses.
Frank Lee MeidereJune 21st, 2011 at 11:14 pm [Reply]
@Mole Man Fan (#233): Okay, I just got the Uncle Lumpy joke.
But the other one (“BOAT”) I’m still puzzling over. An antonym and a rhyme? I must be slow today. (Now you know why I defend Dex.)
Maggie the CatJune 21st, 2011 at 11:30 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#199): That makes sense. I guess that explains my aunt’s demon chihuahua herd. They might be evil little bastards but at least they’re puntable.
Maggie the CatJune 21st, 2011 at 11:34 pm [Reply]
@Maggie the Cat (#238): …not that I’ve ever kicked a dog, just pointing it out in case of an attack or something.
Bill ThompsonJune 21st, 2011 at 11:35 pm [Reply]
@Anonymous (#161): Okay, but if Spidermouse’s Big Boss is a giant rabbit, I expect his top henchman to be Jimmy Stewart.
AviatrixJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:00 am [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#191): I was on my way there. Prison society, for example, is also very polite. There may be a point to that. The rioters I’ve seen identified so far were well-fed, educated, white males from the suburbs, with achievements, not deranged losers or guys with nothing to lose.
If you’re a third generation Canadian and you have never hunted moose, you only have to go as far as your grandfather to find someone who did. It’s a hostile land and our recent ancestors had to make a living in the cold from the tundra minerals, the forest furs and trees, the prairie sod, or the fish in the very cold seas. You think hockey is deadly, check out our official national sport, lacrosse.
Frank Lee MeidereJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:02 am [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#234): @Bill Thompson (#240): A new game: Six Degrees of Jimmy Stewart
Frank Lee MeidereJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:13 am [Reply]
@Aviatrix (#241):
This can be a very beautiful country — providing you can survive. Of course, for dyed-in-the-wool urbanites like me, traffic is the main danger. That, and the occasional hockey riot. And you’re right about our national sport: you don’t see many old lacrosse players, do you?
June 22nd, 2011 at 12:24 am [Reply]
MT: Did ya ever hear of dusting for prints, Sheriff? Or hasn’t that new-fangled crime investigation technique made it to the little-village-with-skyscrapers-in-the-mountains yet? (No, and I don’t mean using face-powder to dust for “moccasin prints”.)
bats :[June 22nd, 2011 at 12:37 am [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#64): hey, it works!
Bill ThompsonJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:37 am [Reply]
The Amusing Spiderman: It’s quiet . . . yeah, too quiet . . . and still none of these mob bosses fear being rubbed out. Tomorrow: the introductory drum roll . . . the lights come on and we see the shock on their faces as they discover that the Big Boss–will be revealed at a later date!
Phantom: Gotta love the way the White Cross blonde smiles as she daydreams of the villain.
Judge Parker: Yeah, thirty-five thousand or so is practically the same as everyone in the world. But who’d have thought that WatchPaintDry.com would have even that many subscribers?
Luann: TJ. Isn’t he the manic assclown who vandalized the rental house? Tore down an interior wall and slapped some funky bachelor-pad paint on the walls? Comic merriment will abound when he moves into the DeGeek house!
Right, Sheriff Dad, go wandering around the wilderness. It’s not like you could hide in site of the Abandoned Cave Mine and wait for the crazy mountain man to appear.
Family Circus: Does this mean that Keane Inc. has heard of the invention of the DVR? What next? Will they trade in the cabinet TV for one of those futuristic flatscreen models? Or will they continue to buy stolen, yet safely Fifties, goods from the Cleancut Kids gang?
Mole Man FanJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:48 am [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#237): I can relate, I’ve had days like that myself. However, some of the confusion might be because whoever posted that comment should have named him/herself “False Facts”, instead.
PoteetJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:50 am [Reply]
ReFoob — So your supposedly-beloved family dog is running loose, probably illegally and definitely unsafely, either because you stupidly let him run or because you stupidly failed to ensure that he couldn’t run, and when informed of this scary fact, the first thing you come up with is a nasty crack about men?? Delivered to your own son?? Elly, you are a WHOLE lot easier to hate than I remembered.
BrimstoneJune 22nd, 2011 at 1:14 am [Reply]
“Spider-Man: What’s the over-under on the new villain actually being called Big Boss?”
the boss of The Enforcers was called The Big Man, so maybe thats it?
Mr. O'MalleyJune 22nd, 2011 at 1:20 am [Reply]
JP: If it’s anything like this webcam at night, it would be hard to say anything about anyone’s facial expression.
TophatJune 22nd, 2011 at 1:49 am [Reply]
@greghousesgf (#112): … touche. But as long as we’re pointing out illogical plot devices in Apartment 3G, how does Tommie manage to be even more boring every day without actually reaching the point where she refuses to get out of bed? Who are all those people in the blue mass in crowd shots? And how can they have weeks of drama about a piano without actually showing a picture of a piano?
daleJune 22nd, 2011 at 1:55 am [Reply]
@Liam (#202):
A comma here, a comma there: pretty soon it adds up to real ink.
My local paper is saving on the stuff. They’ve started leaving out the spaces between words.
June 22nd, 2011 at 2:09 am [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#133):
Dex has scars on his head, as if he’s had a brain injury. Berna is a greedy old woman.
ElkMeadowJune 22nd, 2011 at 2:23 am [Reply]
Sorry if anyone else pointed this out, but Luann had a big deal about her getting a job at the library, thanks to Gunther a while back ago, so shhe could afford gas. And Evans can’t draw a strip without a camel toe on someone.I think that Weds. strip was all camel toes, but the syndicate camera operator moved the bottom border up, so all but Frank are pictured from the waist up. We should send a thank you note.
FOOBed againJune 22nd, 2011 at 2:23 am [Reply]
@Hairhead (#167): I know, this is what makes Luann so frustrating. People act totally in totally unbelievable ways. Why would a single guy with a girlfriend who his mom isn’t that crazy about, give up his independent lifestyle and move back home without a whimper so quickly? If his unemployment had run out and he couldn’t pay the rent or eat, I could see it. It was fine when they had the fire that TJ started because the house wasn’t liveable.
But it makes no sense for Brad to immediately move home upon being told he was being laid off. He didn’t even seem angry or upset about it. Didn’t he know about signing up for unemployment? Doesn’t Evans have any idea at all of how people act in the real world????
I wish Evans would have TJ talk some sense into him, but probably he’ll have him go along with it too.
commodorejohnJune 22nd, 2011 at 3:01 am [Reply]
@Tophat (#251): Simple: Tommie asymptotically approaches the point of zero will to live.
Bill ThompsonJune 22nd, 2011 at 3:03 am [Reply]
Mark Trail: Sheriff Dad is well on the way to figuring out that Mark Trail is JF Thrasher’s accomplice. The real fun will start when Sheriff Dad realizes he has to haul the loot into town as evidence. “Myson Mike, as long as you don’t have school today, can you lend me a hand?” “Sure, dad, what do you need?” “We have to bring the stolen goods into town. There’s a lot to move.” “Don’t worry, dad! I’ll ask my friends! One of them has a truck we can borrow!” “Okay, if it won’t be any trouble.” “Don’t worry, Dad, we don’t plan to do anything until tonight, when we–do our homework!”
The real mystery here is the strange disease that follows in Trail’s wake. Everywhere he goes, people loose their ability to use thought balloons.
daleJune 22nd, 2011 at 3:06 am [Reply]
Luann
There’s no obvious reason for Brad to move until they find someone to replace him and pay rent.
For real people, the rent could make the difference whether or not they can keep the house – property taxes, insurance, maintenance.
Moving costs would be trivial: It’s only a block or so and Brad probably doesn’t own shit.
Does he still get his mail at home? That could save some trouble.
June 22nd, 2011 at 4:38 am [Reply]
@dale (#258): I agree that moving costs would be minimal, and I understand that the DeGroots would have to pay the mortgage and other costs on the house. But Brad would be getting unemployment which he could pay his rent out of. TJ has some sore of private income so he’d be able to pay his part of the rent.
It seems like, when Brad said he couldn’t pay the rent, Nancy would have said “What about your unemployment?” She wouldn’t have been so quick to have him (and TJ!) move back home. And he wouldn’t have been so quick to agree. He won’t be able to have spend as much time with Toni for one thing, since Nancy disapproves of him so strongly. It seems like he’d at least try to live on the unemployment while looking very diligently for a job of some kind, and then if he couldn’t live on the unemployment or it ran out without him being able to find a job, then he’d move back in.
John C FremontJune 22nd, 2011 at 6:09 am [Reply]
@The Ridger (#yy34): Niki?! OMG, you called this one!! Man, this is gonna be, uh, interesting.
SwordsmithJune 22nd, 2011 at 7:53 am [Reply]
MT:
Given: Mountain Man is a strange LONER who lives ALONE far up in the mountains.
Given: It would take more than one person to move this stuff to this cave
Conclusion not validated by the facts presented: I must be on the right track. Fortunately, the only person who heard me say I was is this gigantic golden hawk.
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