Mary Worth, 6/22/11
Today’s Mary Worth brings us a valuable lesson on how to enjoy Mary Worth — and indeed, explains one of the reasons why Mary Worth enjoys being Mary Worth. Variety is the spice of life, and thus every meddle is different. If they were all the same, what joy or texture would there be in Mary interfering in the lives of her hapless victims? No, she doesn’t know until she’s in the thick of it whether the meddlees will need to literally drink themselves into the gutter before they’re receptive to Mary’s life-molding or whether they’ll just burst into open sobbing and oversharing the minute she asks her first gingerly probing questions. Do you think Mary’s taken aback that Liza has opened up so easily? Don’t worry, Mary, I feel confident that there’s an emotional roller-coaster of insanity in your future, as Liza imprints on you as her new guru/love object and refuses let you out of her sight.
Family Circus, 6/22/11
The fact that very long-running strips reuse art and even whole gags is obviously not news. Certainly today’s Family Circus panel, which features the red-headed children dully staring at an enormous console TV that they’re way too close to has the vibe of decades-old art, although for all I know it could have been drawn last month (but surely that would have been a terrible waste of effort?). Anyway, it got me thinking about how there must be endless material to be mined from dead-eyed Keane Kids watching television and saying vaguely cute/precocious things about it, so look for this panel to appear again and again, long after most Americans have forgotten that “televisions” used to be a distinct piece of free-standing electronic equipment, rather than a series of screens built into every wall of every home, switching on and off as you moved from room to room, making sure you were never without entertainment.
Funky Winkerbean, 6/22/11
Have you ever seen a movie or TV show where somebody interacts with the main characters without speaking, even though that seems kind of off? Once an actor starts talking, they move up to a whole different pay scale, so generally there’s some financial reasoning behind it. Comic strips don’t really work on the same economic logic, though, so that doesn’t explain why Sullen McMaybepregnant here silently thrusts a note a Les before stalking off. Presumably she’s disgusted beyond words that the entire school has been inexplicably driven into a frenzy of arousal by the Les-on-Susan smooching pic that’s been making the rounds.
The Lockhorns, 6/22/11
Oh, isn’t that cute! Despite it all, Loretta still believes that Leroy will become a beautiful butterfly. I hope he does too, in the sense that I hope that his squat, misshapen husk of a body will one day split open, revealing an enormous, terrifying insect within.
This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 22, 2011 at 08:32 am and is filed under Family Circus, Funky Winkerbean, Lockhorns, Mary Worth. | 229 responses to “” Rocky StoneaxeJune 22nd, 2011 at 8:34 am [Reply]
Family Circus — Wrong. When Bil Keane (b. Oct. 5, 1922) was little, he had to watch listen to his favorite RADIO shows when they were actually on!
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 22nd, 2011 at 8:35 am [Reply]
A&J: food pr0n. *hearts*
IP: if only this was a JP cross-over.
Lio: ROFLMAO. *hearts*
NAoQV: mine eyes doth bleed, day two!
R&R: nope, Labs don’t work that way. They are very good at catching/fetching, but giving it back? THAT takes training.
9CL: giggle, teehee, whisperwhisper. *GAHHHHHHH!* /rage.
Arch: hellllllo, BETTY!
Lockhorns: you know, that’s almost funny, and almost clever. (and Josh thought so as well! snarpologies.)
MT: hawkward dialog, day two.
Mutts: the Sock Ness Monster is from a different strip.
OBH: and now we know why they are all on the Registry for the next 25 years.
RwO: seen this one before. (didn’t Gary Larson do something along these lines?)
SF: hee! cute.
6Cx: *groan* badpun!
SB: O_O oookay! I’m giggling and squicking at the same time.
Zits: unseen panel 4, Jeremy wearing a salad bowl on his head.
FaoladhJune 22nd, 2011 at 8:37 am [Reply]
Wizard of Id today doesn’t make any sense at all. It’s as though the “artist” chose some random elements of previously drawn clip-art and the “writer” generated a sentence by William S. Burroughs’ “cut-up” method. I take everything I’ve ever said about him back. He is an artistic genius, bringing the most cutting-edge techniques of 1950 to the modern comics page.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 22nd, 2011 at 8:42 am [Reply]
@bats :[ (#y245): yes, yes it does! *hearts*
@Maggie the Cat (#y239): that’s ok, chihuahuas are canine rats, and don’t count as dogs for punting purposes.
nescioJune 22nd, 2011 at 8:42 am [Reply]
The Big Boss turns out to be Peter Parker’s greatest nemesis: the existential nothingness of ennui.
Col. HavocJune 22nd, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]
MT: Hobart had better watch it. Patrick Stewart looks ready to go all Photon Torpedo on his ass.
Rocky StoneaxeJune 22nd, 2011 at 8:46 am [Reply]
@Faoladh (#3):
Are you saying Parker is the Andy Warhol of the modern comics page?
http://i717.photobucket.com/albums/ww172/RWBoyd_2009/WarholDickTracy.jpg
McManxJune 22nd, 2011 at 8:51 am [Reply]
Lockhorns – Look. Leroy has already sprouted antennae.
Archie – Now there is no doubt these are recycled 90s art. Betty has no navel.
Nancy – Is Aunt Fritzi checking out the sales girl’s ass? Wait. That’s sort of hot…
Mary Worth – The sign in front of the diner says “Moy & Giella 6/22″. I guess that is the day’s special at the No-Name Diner.
Col. HavocJune 22nd, 2011 at 8:51 am [Reply]
MT: Or maybe he’s just seething over how his agent talked him into a guest shot on Gil Thorp. “C’mon, Pat baby! Trust me! Everyone’s reading it! It’s ironic!
Little GuyJune 22nd, 2011 at 8:52 am [Reply]
FW: Sullen McMaybepregnant gots back. Just saying….
RMMD: Blah blah blah June in her robe drinking coffee talking about the boat blah blah blah. Just get to the lake scene already.
BR: Ah! YES! It was only one day of junk!
Luann: I’m too lazy to Google, but Evans has gone on record saying he wants Toni and Brad to have a rocky relationship rather than idyllic, because it’s more interesting. But I have to agree with all in the previous thread. This isn’t character growth, it’s recession (that’s a JOKE, Evans! You MISSED it!!).
JP: At this stage, Woody and Mike know this is fanservice, and we know they know, and they know we know they know.
SM: C’mon, Mustard Jar….
pugfugglyJune 22nd, 2011 at 8:57 am [Reply]
MW: Nice of Mary to set the tone for their depressing talk by inviting Liza to Santa Royale’s famously dreary ‘All Grey Diner’.
FC: Maybe its just all that TV, but those kids look like they’ve been into daddy’s special pill bottle. “You mean daddy only watched the shows when they were ‘on’…?….That’s deep, man……”
FW: Ok…I’m starting to lose the thread on this one…is Cayla intimating that now that the students and faculty know Les such a stone-cold player, they’re sure to elect him teacher of the year….?
C’shaft: “I was going to use some anti-matter until I remembered that I’m an ignorant old crank who hates anything new or different just on principle, and I wondered how I learned that word in the first place. Dang TV….I tried to get Discovery off of my cable package, but they told me I’d have to give up the fishing channel…. ”
MT: Say what you will about old Mark Trail, at least when he was wandering through the woods, broadcasting his thoughts to the world, he was talking to his dog…
Col. HavocJune 22nd, 2011 at 9:01 am [Reply]
@Col. Havoc (#9): It’s GT, not MT.. That’s what the Col. Gets for trying HTML tags on an iPad before coffee.
anonymousJune 22nd, 2011 at 9:02 am [Reply]
Luanne: I was thinking, now Brad and Toni should move in together – woops, too many obstacles. Brad needs a job. There’s that horrible niece. And where will TJ go? Never mind…
Get Fuzzy: Why are there so many re-runs in this strip? Is DC on vacation? Is he ill and can’t work on the strip? I like most of the re-runs, but I’m wondering what is going on….
AnonJune 22nd, 2011 at 9:02 am [Reply]
Luann: So let me get this straight: the second Brad loses his job, his parents, who own the house he’s living in, and that Brad himself, along with TJ, put considerable work into, are just gonna kick him out? Along with TJ, who apparently is still working? Don’t they have unemployment where they live? Didn’t Brad save any money? Has Mrs. DeGroot been reading Ayn Rand again? No, probably not: if she were, she would have just called Brad a fucking looter and refused to acknowledge his very existence, perhaps until he blows up the fire station that, er, fired him.
I think Mrs. DeGroot is just anxious for TJ (or anyone, for that matter) to “accidentally” walk in on her while she’s all glistening wet and naked in the tub.
Dennis JimenezJune 22nd, 2011 at 9:13 am [Reply]
MW – So, the rabbit’s on the boil at the dinner – right???
FC – Don’t be silly, Dolly – Jolson hadn’t even began singing Mammy on film, when Bil was little…
FW – So, don’t follow the strip, but this is some sort of Toni, Tony, Tone’ Weiner type deal – right??/
Lockhorns – Oh come now, Josh – after spinning Loretta a load of nice silk, Leroy will burst-forth as a beautiful butterfly….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
TechieJune 22nd, 2011 at 9:14 am [Reply]
Spider-man: “Turn ON the lights”? I’ve got it! The Big Boss is Julie Taymor, come to take revenge on society!
Comcis FanJune 22nd, 2011 at 9:15 am [Reply]
H&L: I never saw it before and now it’s clear as a sunbeam. Trixie is Mr. Wilson’s love grandchild!
MW: No fern in the diner, but mauve, there’s always mauve.
KiboJune 22nd, 2011 at 9:15 am [Reply]
Mary Worth: Hey, isn’t that the diner from “Grand Theft Auto IV”? Something’s about to go down! Niko just got a phone call from Roman asking him to take out the Meddler before she can flee to Bohan in her antique zeppelin!
Chip WhittleJune 22nd, 2011 at 9:19 am [Reply]
9 to 5: The good thing about this panel is in three weeks he can run it again, just drawing a thicker line around the business card so it becomes a smart phone and changing the caption to “Here’s my app. It has an area that you can scratch and sniff.”
Apartment 3-G: “That’s fine, we embrace the doubters too.” Well, that’s why Margo’s leaving. She’s got that no-hugging policy still.
Arctic Circle: The glass bottles merrily make the tunes which lure their compatriots to their death. Wait, that’s horrifying.
Bliss: Finally someone has the courage to mock modern art. Comics are too a relevant medium for 85 years ago!
Crock: Uh…wait, what? The heck? I realize this comment can apply to almost any Crock.
I guess the beer can has to be drawn the size of a Mini Cooper and labelled “BEER” because if it were the size of an actual beer can nobody would have a hope of figuring out what it was.
Funky Winkerbean: I kind of admire how hard everyone’s preteding there’s some character called “Nate” in the strip. It’s like Batiuk is trying to gaslight the folks handicapping the sarcoma races.
Dick Tracy: I did not know directors didn’t much care about stuff like the lead character being suddenly doubled for some scenes, but it does explain a lot of big-budget 3-D nonsense movies.
Edge City: I am shocked, shocked, to find in Len’s past an association with an insanely obsessive person. It’s unpredecented from what we know about him.
EllieJune 22nd, 2011 at 9:21 am [Reply]
I like the way Mary got herself refreshments, but nothing for Liza. “Hi, I’ll have a black coffee. Her? No, she’s just here to cry, thanks”
MibbitmakerJune 22nd, 2011 at 9:23 am [Reply]
DtM: Uh-oh — a dirty picture!
ReFOOB: It started early for Michael. The Impossible Book Deal was already only a matter of time…
GA: Let’s see… save the kid, or do a pratfall…? Save the kid….. do a pratfall……. I’ve made my decision!
H&L: They start so early, don’t they?
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 22nd, 2011 at 9:24 am [Reply]
Archie – “For one brief moment, victory was within our grasp… Then the other team showed up!” Thanks for the punch line, Charlie Brown!
Close – Suicide in what appears to be the Neighborhood of Make-Believe. What will Mr. McFeely say?
Hägar – Knights on cloudback! They can run you guys over that cliff and not even plunge to their deaths after you. Then tomorrow, it’s back to the damn status quo.
Scott BotJune 22nd, 2011 at 9:24 am [Reply]
DT – Why is it if the police suspect that he’s not actually the Scarlet Sting, they don’t just go in and arrest him? Arrest him?
GT – So Hobart is firing all the teachers because he has problems with women? I can’t wait until he starts ranting about ‘precious bodily fluids’ and fluoridation.
Pluggers – You’re a Plugger if you think anyone wants to hear about the length of your eyebrow hairs.
RMMD – Rex apparently just came in from his job moonlighting as the ‘after’ guy in those Charles Atlas ads.
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 22nd, 2011 at 9:26 am [Reply]
Lockhorns – Does Margo visit Loretta sincerely, or ironically? By which I mean, if she tells somebody about it later, does she simply quote Loretta, or “finger quote” Loretta?
Mutts – “The Loch Ness Monster!”
I had no idea Earl was so well endowed.
One – “Oh no, I accidentally tweeted the picture as soon as I took it! THERE GOES MY HOPES FOR ELECTED OFFICE AS A DEMOCRAT!”
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 22nd, 2011 at 9:27 am [Reply]
Pluggers – I think I get it.
You’re a plugger if you’re old
You’re a plugger if you’re poor
You’re a plugger if you’re lame
You’re a plugger if you bore
You’re a plugger if you’re cheap
You’re a plugger if you’re sick
You’re a plugger if you’re low-tech
You’re a plugger if you’re thick
You’re a plugger if you breathe
You’re a plugger if you walk
You’re a plugger if you hug
You’re a plugger if you talk
You’re a plugger if you stand
You’re a plugger if you sit
You’re a plugger if you eat
You’re a plugger if you shit
You’re a plugger if you smile
You’re a plugger if you cry
You’re a plugger if you live
You’re a plugger if you die
You’re a plugger in your car
In a truck or on the bus
Stick this message on your fridge:
One of us. One of us.
June 22nd, 2011 at 9:28 am [Reply]
MW: Somehow Mary and Liza managed to be seated inside the diner’s kitchen next to the… plantation shutters?
FC: Poor Daddy? Dolly, you’re still watching TV on an 80’s CRT built like a dresser.
Lockhorns: Leroy sure is in a larval state. He’s morphing into Andy Capp right in front of Loretta’s eyes.
Scott BotJune 22nd, 2011 at 9:30 am [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#25):
I do not like green eggs and ham.
I’m not a Plugger, Sam-I-Am.
June 22nd, 2011 at 9:30 am [Reply]
R=R – Wishing well? Damned elitists. Heartland Americans like me are satisfied to go down to the mall and throw the money in the fountain by the food court. Fling those pennies! Treat the kids! Here, honey, have a nickel. No, make it a quarter! You only live once! I’m going to see if I can get it right in the spray there. Don’t forget to make a wish. Then tomorrow, it won’t have come true, and you’ll forget all about it, learning a valuable lesson in the process.
Spider-Man – Big Figure. Small world.
Zits – Just say it, Jeremy: he’s hectoring you!
@Dennis Jimenez (#15): this is some sort of Toni, Tony, Tone’ Weiner type deal – right?
They all are! Doonesbury, One Big Happy, Mutts, Family Circus, Herb & Jamaal, Monty, Shoe…
June 22nd, 2011 at 9:30 am [Reply]
…oh, and Luann. (Wiener World!)
MibbitmakerJune 22nd, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]
GT: Oh, that irrepressible Hobart! He’s such a panic! Hahahaha! Never change, Hob’, ya ol’ misanthropic scalliwag!
MT: Because, if there’s anything a loner always has, it’s plenty of friends to help with stolen goods.
MW: Liza’s falling off Aldo’s Cliff — non-violently.
Popeye: or maybe the oids are just creepy phallic masochists! Man, these humans’ brains are thick as a brick…. building!
Effluvius ErratusJune 22nd, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]
…I hope he does too, in the sense that I hope that his squat, misshapen husk of a body will one day split open, revealing an enormous, terrifying insect within.
If only William S. Burroughs were still alive to make your vision of Lockhorns a reality.
wossnameJune 22nd, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]
BaBlues – OK, that’s cute and funny, if a giant blood-engorged tick can be considered cute and funny.
GT – Now that Telly Savalas is on the school board, Hobart’s not gonna be able to get away with this shit any more.
OBH – So is Ruthie going to tweet the pic of James in his undies, and make this all topical?
DT – Good times! Is there some way to tell Doubleup from Haku, when Haku is apparently going to imitate the way Doubleup talks? Doubleup talks? Or are we not supposed to be able to tell? Either way I’m a happy girl. A happy girl.
FC – “Poor Daddy. When he was little he had to go play outside and use his imagination instead of vegging out in front of the TV all day.”
Drew FunkJune 22nd, 2011 at 9:39 am [Reply]
Wait, Mary Worth has taken Liza to a diner called DINER that looks like a repurposed bus with all of the dishes prominently on display all over the interior? Did Charterstone relocate to Milford at some point when I wasn’t looking?
Scott BotJune 22nd, 2011 at 9:41 am [Reply]
@wossname (#32): GT – Now that Telly Savalas is on the school board, Hobart’s not gonna be able to get away with this shit any more.
Who loves ya, Hobie?
bourbon babe, unbuckledJune 22nd, 2011 at 9:41 am [Reply]
JP: Instead of the life-or-death-or-”let me tell you about my novel” struggle on the rooftop, we’re seeing the internet-viewer count? Interesting narrative choice, Wilson. And by “interesting,” of course, I mean, “what the hell are you thinking?”
MT: So the loner, low-tech Mountain Man is working with others, using a truck, to steal electronics. You just keep on following that “right track,” Sheriff Dad; let us know when you begin to suspect the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy as accomplices.
SM: I didn’t realize the NYC criminal triumvirate comprised Mr. Whipple, Jay Leno, and a long-haired Henry F. Potter, but I guess they’re as intimidating as any other villain in this strip.
But What Do I Know?June 22nd, 2011 at 9:47 am [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#23): GT — And when did the pensions start, Mandrake? 1946! How does that fit in with your international communist conspiracy. . .
So the solution is to get Hobart laid? Well, there is an ex-softball assistant coach looking for a situation. . .
RMMD — Can this get any slower?
FW — Sullen McMaybepregnant describes a shockingly high percentage of high school girls in Westview. . .
TheDivaJune 22nd, 2011 at 9:49 am [Reply]
FW: Message girl isn’t pregnant. She’s the physical embodiment of everything Batiuk thinks The Kids These Days are: a lazy, sullen brat who doesn’t know how good she’s got it and needs to stand up straight and look her elders in the eye when she’s talking to them, dammit!
So apparently Nate (formerly known as Token Black Guy) is the principal, which is surprising as I can’t recall him ever doing anything principal-y, or even being mentioned by name this week. I guess like every black police chief or Latina judge in the movies, he exists solely so Batiuk can pat himself on the back for being progressive and giving a minority a position of authority, without the bother of actually having the character do anything worth noting.
MW: Wow, is Mary actually going to have to meddle a woman out of wanting to throw away her career and devote her life to a man? Red letter day here, people.
9CL: Today’s strip exists just so McEldowney could get off on the idea of one hot woman talking dirty to another, doesn’t it?
DT: Man, imagine if John Landis had shouted “Keep the camera going!” during the Twilight Zone movie…
reFOOB: Here we see the budding sense of entitlement that will serve Michael well for the rest of his life.
Luann: The library seems to be running entirely on Luann and Gunther’s volunteer work, so I’d say they’ve been hurting for some time now.
Chip WhittleJune 22nd, 2011 at 9:49 am [Reply]
Family Circus: Hey, aren’t the kids sitting in that zone near early-60s console TVs that got stray microwaves from the color tube? Shouldn’t they scoot back?
Hazel is, apparently, smuggling hoards of Keanes across the border into indentured servitude.
Hi and Lois: So after Crankshaft dies he’s reincarnated as the perpetually diaper-clad, delusional, abandoned Trixie Flagston? I’m OK with that.
">Love Is… looking to the future but not trying to predict it… so we’re not sure why we have the crystal ball and tarot cards… uh… sorry, we kinda wrote the caption first and didn’t know how to draw not-predicting the future… we’ll try again later.
“Honey, the crystal ball says I’m dead four times this coming week. Should we talk about that?”
Sherman’s Lagoon: Funny wordplay, but this sequence is kind of Mother Goose and Grimm of them. I’m wondering where it’s going.
Shoe: The good thing about this strip is they can run it again, first as Pluggers, then as Crankshaft, and then as any strip aimed at the mythical huge base of elderly readers who hate the Internet.
Zippy the Pinhead: I am intrigued by this life model in which one simply climbs a ladder, goes back down, and receives a Baby Ruth for the trouble. It makes more sense than every job I’ve ever had.
Effluvius ErratusJune 22nd, 2011 at 9:54 am [Reply]
S-M: Woah! I did not see that coming! The darkness is the “big boss!” It’ is nothingness, the void, the angst-inducing abyss that forces man to confront the core truth that he is free to jump or not jump. The choice is—and always will be—his.
DoodJune 22nd, 2011 at 9:59 am [Reply]
Mary Worth: Nothing could be finer than meddling in a diner in the morning…
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 22nd, 2011 at 10:03 am [Reply]
@TheDiva (#37): Man, imagine if John Landis had shouted “Keep the camera going!” during the Twilight Zone movie…
They sort of did that in ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES. A helicopter crashed during an early scene in the movie, and they kept it in (no major injuries that I recall) as the best special effects shot in the picture.
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#22): Thanks for the punch line, Charlie Brown!
My bad. The real punch line went like this:
Charlie Brown: For one brief moment, victory was within our grasp!
Linus: And then the game started.
This would have haunted my dreams. Now I can rebuild my shattered life.
June 22nd, 2011 at 10:04 am [Reply]
FC:
Having to watch TV shows when they actually air is times gone by.
Enormous console TVs are a thing of the past.
And just one television in the livingroom is considered a quaint idea nowadays.
But culture snob cliche/stereotyped images of children (think of the children!) looking all dead-eyed and dumb just because they watch a TV show or two (no, make that 5000! TV makes you do that!), since TV is inherently eeeeeevil…. that’s forever!
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 22nd, 2011 at 10:05 am [Reply]
for Ed Power, Halley Beary. (rather NSFWish, actually.)
proof positive that everything is better with tentacles. (SFW)
crazy things parents say, the superhero edition.
how goldens manage to shed everywhere, explained.
inquisitive tanuki.
pupsquee for bb,u.
otter hugz.
epic pupsqui is epic. (Petey from Okinawa, the Daily Corgi.)
OCD can haz corgsqui too.
bourbon babe, unbuckledJune 22nd, 2011 at 10:08 am [Reply]
MW: This might be Mary’s ultimate dilemma: two meddle-worthy people with opposing needs. Should she help the son of the man who’s been in her psychosexual thrall for years? Or the young nurse crying before her—so sad, so confused, so very, very close—just a table’s width between her and that weeping, quivering vulnerability? It would be easy and, yes, satisfying, to help Liza get what she wants: a way out of nursing and into Drew’s heart. Just a few well-placed words to Drew, at just the right moment, and he’d see things Mary’s way; they always do. But what about Drew? He came to her first, after all, and Mary was nothing if not fair. Mary pondered: What to do? Whom should she lead to happiness? Upon whom should she bestow her meddling gifts?
This is . . . Mary’s Choice.
UncleJeffJune 22nd, 2011 at 10:12 am [Reply]
Pluggers: I call “BS”. The longest hairs on a Plugger’s head are the ones growing out of his ears.
Strider119June 22nd, 2011 at 10:13 am [Reply]
Maybe it’s because I’m a decade removed from high school but who the hell would care about a homely, sad, adult teacher kissing another homely, sad adult? I can’t see that pathetic sight really making the rounds and becoming the talk of the school, let alone the entire internet. It’s not like it was a 14 year old student or he had her bent over his deks or something.
Maybe I’m wrong though. The more I think about it, maybe it would be kind of funny if I was in high school. Those crazy kids will make a meme out of anything these days. I can’t wait to see the “blue waffle” captions that go along with that.
Not Just Any DipstickJune 22nd, 2011 at 10:14 am [Reply]
@Mibbitmaker (#30): That’s IT!!!!!!!!! Liza is about to become Mary’s worst failure when she runs into the street with a scalpel, cuts her own throat as she is run down by double-decker sight-seeing tour bus. What fun.
Comcis FanJune 22nd, 2011 at 10:20 am [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#44):
Usually for Mary, the only choice involves meddling unattached young people into each other’s arms. Usually Mary is the one who can’t take no for an answer from a reluctant single (see: Dr. Mike, the intimacy-phobic shrink with daddy issues). Mary angrily ordered Dr. Mike to get help for his emotional problems so he could fulfill his destiny as the love of the grape-sucking financial planner’s life. She won’t submit to “true love” for herself, but for others, she typically insists.
Can she overcome this instinct now and help Drew detach from Liza? Will she just show Liza the stash of muscle mags in Drew’s room? Will she discover the muscle mags on Jeff’s electronic reading device? Will Liza order some pie? I think she needs a slice of diner pie. Stat.
OKStanJune 22nd, 2011 at 10:22 am [Reply]
MW: So far, Santa Royale has two dining establishments – The Bum Boat, and the Moy & Giella 6-22 All-Grey Diner. Can’t wait to see the shapeless blobs they’ll be shoving in their throats soon.
Lockhorns: No, what I meant to say is, he’ll be SPROUTING larvae soon. He hasn’t moved from the couch since last night.
June 22nd, 2011 at 10:24 am [Reply]
A3G: Oooh, look at the expression on Margo’s face in panel 2. She’s annoyed that she didn’t come up with the psychic scam herself. “You mean people would pay me to fall under my thrall? I’ve been just giving away the Margo for too long, dammit.”
9CL: Your very first arrogant sexually confused gay man? Honey, we’ve all been there.
GT: Grab your popcorn, everyone. Hobart’s about to get real, with a litle help from Locutus of Borg.
Chip WhittleJune 22nd, 2011 at 10:30 am [Reply]
B.C.: I love a good flat-Earth joke. As a bonus, we know now Johnny Hart’s grandkid works about a month ahead of publication.
Back In The Day: I think we all knew someday Mark Trail would be eaten by a giant talking animal.
Brevity: Mrs. Horner, no! Didn’t you hear B-wad was laid off?
Candorville: I realize this storyline will never be resolved, but I like the therapist trying to listening-cure his way through it.
The Dinette Set: “School ended yesterday, Tim, so you hafta read Treasure Island for it.”
I bet he ends up watching Treasure Planet instead.
Graffiti: “No one reveals more secrets than Dun and Bradstreet, as shown by how well credit-ratings agencies headed off a fiscal panic by credibly assessing the risks of new investment tools last decade.”
bourbon babe, unbuckledJune 22nd, 2011 at 10:36 am [Reply]
@Comcis Fan (#48): I imagine that many emotional ailments can be cured that way: “Pie! Stat!”
Dennis JimenezJune 22nd, 2011 at 10:40 am [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#25): Gobble-gobble one of us….
tb4000June 22nd, 2011 at 10:44 am [Reply]
9CL: So she was a virgin before…..NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!
wossnameJune 22nd, 2011 at 10:46 am [Reply]
@OKStan (#49): Santa Royale also has that fancy-schmancy place where Adrian and Scott’s rehearsal dinner was held – the one where Jill got thrown out, yelling “*&^%(!”
Rocky StoneaxeJune 22nd, 2011 at 10:52 am [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#31):
If only William S. Burroughs were still alive to make your vision of Lockhorns a reality.
My money’s on Franz Kafka:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_oMf9unlVi18/TP0HfjrMANI/AAAAAAAAA2E/gX1yN8jNjuE/s400/kafka2.jpg
Calvin's Cardboard BoxJune 22nd, 2011 at 10:54 am [Reply]
MW – “You know what Liza? Screw this. I’m tired of this. Constantly wading into other people’s pools of crazy and trying to fix things. I’ve got problems of my own. Social Security checks aren’t going as far as they used to, I’m in a dead-end, loveless relationship … and here I am spending my time worrying about people I only have a tangental connection with in the first place. I can’t fix you, Liza, you are an adult and need to establish your own priorities. I can’t push a string. Here’s five bucks to cover the coffee. I’m outta here. You should be too if you want to keep your job.”
Calvin's Cardboard BoxJune 22nd, 2011 at 10:56 am [Reply]
JP – Another day where the strip could be a scene from a porn movie without needing to change either the dialogue or the art work.
Scott BotJune 22nd, 2011 at 10:57 am [Reply]
MW – ‘…and I never learned to read!!!’
GregJune 22nd, 2011 at 10:58 am [Reply]
FW: Maybe the Aubrey Plaza character is carrying Les’s baby? Because if Les can defile two women in the strip, why not a third? In fact, he does resemble Dustin Diamond a bit… *gag*
Effluvius ErratusJune 22nd, 2011 at 10:59 am [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#56): Or, since comics are a visual medium, we can petition David Cronenberg to take over Lockhorns.
Esther BlodgettJune 22nd, 2011 at 11:05 am [Reply]
@wossname (#55): Is that the same place Drew and Liza had dinner – the place with the white tablecloths and chrome napkin holders?
Little GuyJune 22nd, 2011 at 11:06 am [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#2): IP?
MW: Awwww…. poor Nurse Katee Sackhoff!
AndyLJune 22nd, 2011 at 11:08 am [Reply]
I’d like to make a prediction about 9CL.
Every hack writer knows that a “First time” story has to be followed up by a “pregnancy scare” story.
Bring me the Hart of JohnnyJune 22nd, 2011 at 11:12 am [Reply]
To me, it looks like the Family Circus kids are watching a flat screen that the parents were too lazy to put on a stand or hang, so instead they just jammed it against the wall on the floor. The supporting brackets on the bottom of the TV look modern.
Regarding Luann, has anyone else noticed that Brad’s parents can’t see it in their hearts or minds to float him for a couple of months if he can’t pay rent? Is the house feeding their secret drug habit? Also, why would TJ have to be kicked out if he can pay his half of the rent? He could get a new roommate and kick Brad to the curb, since they probably signed a lease.
So many questions…
Chip WhittleJune 22nd, 2011 at 11:12 am [Reply]
Ink Pen: Fortunately, Lord Smoked Meat and Fishies is still available. Unfortunately, he’s Lord Smoked Meat and Fishies.
Jump Start: “Congratulations, McCoy! You’re retiring!” “Great! I–wait, what? I am?!”
Lefty Bosco Picture Show: Wasn’t this a Muppets skit? And it was mating season there?
Mythtickle: Um, they’re trying to deal with Thor’s kidney stones. Just saying, bringing a vampire into that region is getting weird.
The Other Coast: “I made a technology joke! Can I be in the cool club now?”
Raising Duncan: “Part of me hopes you get lost…I’d love to have to describe you to the F.B.I.” That has to be the most convolutedly passive-aggressive way of expressing love outside Momma.
Reply All: “Get a reference from someone whose mental health you admire.” So, apparently the dialogue from this is also being written by MS Paint 2.1.
Tarzan: Wait, Tarzan’s Kids are stashing their stolen Zeneth Televisions in Mark Trail’s cave?
wossnameJune 22nd, 2011 at 11:16 am [Reply]
@Esther Blodgett (#62): I’m not sure, but they both had potted plants that leapt around the room, and tables that changed geometry at random.
Bill ThompsonJune 22nd, 2011 at 11:17 am [Reply]
@Chip Whittle (#38): Family Circus: Hey, aren’t the kids sitting in that zone near early-60s console TVs that got stray microwaves from the color tube? Shouldn’t they scoot back?
No, that would spoil the experiment. With enough X-rays from the TV’s high-voltage sources, the Melonheads may yet mutate into a slightly higher form of life. My money is on gerbils.
EarthgirlJune 22nd, 2011 at 11:19 am [Reply]
You know, back when I was in college and still physically interacted with people, I was the person who random people would compulsively overshare with. Frankly, it’s kind of exhausting. The fact that Mary actively seeks this out makes her even more frightening.
The Guy Who Invented MS PaintJune 22nd, 2011 at 11:22 am [Reply]
@Chip Whittle (#66):
So, apparently the dialogue from this is also being written by MS Paint 2.1.
Hey, man, I’m sick and tired of my life’s work being associated with Donna Lewis and her crappy comic strip. It’s bad enough that everyone knows that she uses MS Paint to “draw” that POS—but now you gotta bring MS Paint into the POS writing, too?
I was proud of MS Paint, but now it’s all “oh, look at the shitty art work—must be MS Paint!” and then “oh, look at the shitty writing—must be MS Paint!” It’s not my fault that the no-talent hack got her lobster claws on my program.
All my hard work, reduced to this: “Hey, MS Paint! That’s what Donna Lewis uses to do Reply All.”
I think I’ll go throw myself off a tall building. Are there any available in Manhattan—you know, that don’t already have suicidal CEOs or vampires on them?
Artist formerly known as BenJune 22nd, 2011 at 11:23 am [Reply]
FC: “Poor Daddy. When he was little, he had to watch his favorite TV shows when they were actually on. Um, just like we’re doing now. No, I’m sorry this material is just not acceptable, even for us.”
Lockhorns: I could just about deal with the revelation a few weeks ago that Loretta was into black guys, a.k.a. “chocolate.” One wants to warn the Malian exchange student down the block, but okay. That she has a fetish for insect men is disturbing on many more levels.
9CL: Brooke stirs “virgin” into the great big masturbatory fantasy stew.
A3G: She knows, Lu Ann. You don’t have to be a psychic to see Margo sniggering a hole in the door.
Marvin: An infant climbing the stairs by herself. Why that’s just dandy. Obviously Ming Ming’s mother has been studying baby neglect with the Flagstons.
JP: You bet the whole world will be watching. As we all know, there are only two channels on the Internet, and the other one shows Susan sticking her tongue down Les Moore’s throat.
GT: “And he hates alt-country musicians more than anything. His wife and he split up while she was covering the SXSW conference for Pitchfork. It was a bad scene.”
SFx: A note on why killer whales don’t kill humans. Orcas are pack animals, and vicious ones at that. For them to hunt, kill, and eat an animal, it has to be meaty enough to feed them all. Obesity jokes aside, we’re just too puny to be a temptation. Now you know.
H&L: Yeah Trixie, but I don’t know how long it will be before your parents let you handle the shotgun. Probably around age four or five.
M-Dawg: You mean the animal control truck isn’t in flames?
6C: “Savannah brogue”? So the joke is that in the Paleolithic Era, Georgia was part of Ireland? Help me out here.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 22nd, 2011 at 11:25 am [Reply]
@McManx (#8): re Nancy: no doubt about, dat’s a ‘dat azz’ look.
@tb4000 (#54): I could say something here, but I’ve used up my quota of implied buttsehks comments for the week. [*]
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 22nd, 2011 at 11:27 am [Reply]
@Little Guy (#63): IP=Ink Pen. It’s not on The Chron, but can be found on Yahoo comics.
CalicoJune 22nd, 2011 at 11:27 am [Reply]
@Earthgirl (#69):
I used to find myself stuck in the middle of friends’ spats and disagreements often-I’m fairly diplomatic and hate conflict, and never wanted to take sides, as these arguments more often than not had absolutely nothing to do with me.
You can call me “The Anti-Meddler.”
June 22nd, 2011 at 11:29 am [Reply]
JP – Well, since they pulled that ‘Friday’ video from YouTube, we have to have something to watch.
Walker of DogJune 22nd, 2011 at 11:32 am [Reply]
A3G: Margo imagines biting into Tommie’s nougat-filled head. Fun with perspective is fun!
DT: Lizz shifts the focus of her anxiety to the shark tank and those frickin’ laser beams.
Jumb: Vinnie don’t manscape for nobody, toots.
9CL: And true command of a Bowie knife is knowing which ribs to slip it in between. Oh, sorry – should I have whispered that part?
Plug: What about the head-shavers? Sure, they’re not fooling anybody, but they’re still better-adjusted than any Plugger.
Phan: I’ve missed you, Big Red Circle of Off-panel Communication, but I think you’re a little rusty. You’ve conjured up a powder-blue scarf and some olive branches on Kip’s cap. These things don’t exactly scream “Command Authority”.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 22nd, 2011 at 11:32 am [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#71): Savanna/Savannah.
lets call the whole thing off. . . .
Uncle LumpyJune 22nd, 2011 at 11:36 am [Reply]
@OKStan (#49):
So far, Santa Royale has two dining establishments – The Bum Boat, and the Moy & Giella 6-22 All-Grey Diner.
There’s also La Rosa, where Jeff takes Mary when he wants to announce he’s skedaddling to Vietnam, The Golden Corridor, where Ted Confey offered his pointless and soon-withdrawn support of Jeff’s bogus charity, and a vaguely Mexican place (cactus, sombrero), the name of which I forget. Anybody?
Artist formerly known as BenJune 22nd, 2011 at 11:37 am [Reply]
@AndyL (#64):
Every hack writer knows that a “First time” story has to be followed up by a “pregnancy scare” story.
Wonder if Monty’s still toying with that “replace human babies with cockroaches” idea he was floating a while ago.
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#77): I suspected that might have been what cavelady meant, but it doesn’t really help Piccolo’s joke.
Uncle LumpyJune 22nd, 2011 at 11:38 am [Reply]
Sorrento’s. Kill me now.
Effluvius ErratusJune 22nd, 2011 at 11:44 am [Reply]
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#57): Suddenly, the producers of The Mary Show find themselves at a crossroads. Do they let Mary maintain the illusion of free will and take their beloved franchise in a completely new direction, potentially jeopardizing their own livelihoods and the livelihoods of the actor-citizens of the simulacropolis known as Santa Royale, or do they crassly manipulate her in some way—perhaps by having Dr. Jeff withhhold shrimp scampi until she resumes her meddling duties?
Scott BotJune 22nd, 2011 at 11:45 am [Reply]
As I sit here at my desk pretending to work, I’m looking at a coffee cup I got from Tot Bot for Father’s Day. It’s decorated as only a six year old can decorate it, with shaky printing, stick figures for me and him, and blobs of crayon that honesty have no real explanation, although I suspect one of them is supposed to be the sun and one is our house. All in all, it’s an incredibly sweet but awkward attempt at art.
That said, it’s still drawn ten times better than Reply All.
Fashion PoliceJune 22nd, 2011 at 11:46 am [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#35):
JP: Instead of the life-or-death-or-”let me tell you about my novel” struggle on the rooftop, we’re seeing the internet-viewer count? Interesting narrative choice, Wilson. And by “interesting,” of course, I mean, “what the hell are you thinking?”
Mr. Wilson appears to be about a Boesendorfer short of territory previously occupied only by Mr. Brooke McEldowney. However, we are still puzzled why Mrs. Spencer-Driver would go to all the trouble of pulling on a diaphanous burnt-orange jumpsuit over her diaphanous lavender nightie.
TaggedJune 22nd, 2011 at 11:53 am [Reply]
Doonesbury: Something tells me Hedley’s just begging for a pink slip. Though considering who his current employers are, it could be a ‘rite-of-passage’.
NS: I don’t even want to know what this is all about..
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 22nd, 2011 at 11:55 am [Reply]
@Uncle Lumpy (#80): Sorrento’s. Kill me now.
You keep out of this. He doesn’t have to kill you now.
June 22nd, 2011 at 11:57 am [Reply]
@Earthgirl (#69): The best thing to do in those situations is to give incredibly and obviously wrong advice. Entertainment for you and fewer people begging for advice. On second thought, maybe that’s not correct. In the years since Mary meddled Mr. Kelrast over the cliff, how many people have supplicated for her advice?
commodorejohnJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:02 pm [Reply]
A3G – Normally, I class loudly self-proclaimed “skeptics” in with other smug douches who think their own particular set of mental habits is proof positive of their True Intellectual Superiority, like loudly self-proclaimed Atheists Who Are Smarter Than You, or Tom Batiuk. Here, though? I’m goin’ with Margo and Tommie. Don’t forget to ooh and aah at the pretty picture-cards, Luann!
BBlue – It’s just a tick, for chrissakes! Leeches are way more disgusting.
Crock – Well this explains a lot. [*]
DT – If Lizz just winds up sitting there tied up through the whole goddamn thing I’m going to be pretty pissed.
FW – It’s quite simple: if you had to interact with Les Moore but weren’t required to speak, would you? (Well, actually, you’d probably beat him over the head with a convenient table and loudly berate him for being an unlikeable twat, but this is a hypothetical situation where you want to keep your job.)
GT – “A troublemaker driven by personal problems, eh?” Gil thinks. “Maybe we ought to call in Mary Worth.”
JP – Well this is a little uncomfortable.
MT – It’s a little comforting that nobody in this strip is capable of not expressing their every thought aloud. I’d hate for Mark to be at a disadvantage.
NAOQV – AAAAAUGH
Popeye – …
SM – So, uh, it would appear that we’ve finally found some villains with less of a clue than Spider-Man. Unfortunately, they’ll probably have dropped toasters in their bathtubs before they ever actually meet him.
Pseudo3DJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:02 pm [Reply]
Curtis: I’m calling BS on this one. If Greg’s so money-strapped, how can they afford a Costco membership? I mean, there’s a reason Costco is located in nicer areas…
Bill ThompsonJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:03 pm [Reply]
EffYou Wankerbean: What’s weird here (in particular, rather than in the general Batiukian sense) is that all the other kids are stoked to see Les’s picture on the internet, but when a student comes face-to-smirk with him, she looks so . . . disappointed. That makes sense under normal typical circumstances at Westview Low, but she looks like she won’t even bother to text the other kids that Louse got a summons from the principal. C’mon, Batiuk, you just blew a chance to slam kids for being tech-obsessed!
Vince MJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:05 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#4): Aww, lately I’ve encountered two chihuahuas which totally belie their rep – a couple of the nicest, happiest dogs I’ve met. Insane hyper, but nice. OTOH, I’ve encountered enough others to know how Ren Hoek got his personality.
Baka GaijinJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:14 pm [Reply]
Doonesbury: Hedley is hung like a Jughead’s junk. JUGHEAD’S JUNK! That crowny hat thing is really offputting to chicks.
Nancy: Dig that 1969 computer terminal! Oh who am I kidding? BOOBS!
Zits: Mommy McScarytits hasn’t ever had a boss.
Pluggers: You might be a plugger if the longest hair on your head comes out of your nose, wraps behind your left ear, round and round your bald pate like a spiral Danish pastry, then wraps around your right ear.
Baka GaijinJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:15 pm [Reply]
Sally Forth: God I love that dainty-wristed Ted. Don’t ever change, bubie.
One Big Happy: This would be a Little Rascals if it were being made now instead of a century ago.
Jumble: I’m suing FFEJ for using my likeness of character without my assent.
HamsterpantsJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:21 pm [Reply]
It’s probably just me, but everybody in FW has these half-mast eyelids that always make them look like they just burned a fat one behind the gym at free period. Or perhaps that’s a legacy thing from when Funky was first invented and there were actual high school kids in the strip who were allegedly “cool” – that is, if you thought Karen Valentine in “Room 222″ was “cool”.
anonymousJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:24 pm [Reply]
@AndyL (#64):
We already had that strip not too long ago. She came bursting into the rehearsal hall – “all the tests were negative!!!” I thought AIDS tests, but pregnancy, too.
UncleJeffJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:25 pm [Reply]
@Uncle Lumpy (#78): Wasn’t it “La Treen”?
UncleJeffJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:27 pm [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#85): Can’t he take him home now and kill him later?
Scott BotJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:31 pm [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#85): Pronoun trouble.
Rocky StoneaxeJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:33 pm [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#81):
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#57): Suddenly, the producers of The Mary Show find themselves at a crossroads. Do they let Mary maintain the illusion of free will and take their beloved franchise in a completely new direction, potentially jeopardizing their own livelihoods and the livelihoods of the actor-citizens of the simulacropolis known as Santa Royale, or do they crassly manipulate her in some way—perhaps by having Dr. Jeff withhhold shrimp scampi until she resumes her meddling duties?
Is “shrimp scampi” what the kids are calling sex these days?
JesseBakerJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:34 pm [Reply]
Today’s Mary Worth might finally set up the strip going into full-tilt dark territory: Mary telling Liza, point-blank that Drew doesn’t love her and never will after Liza all but confesses that she wants to marry Drew so she doesn’t have to be a nurse anymore as far as obsessing over Drew so that she can become a spoiled Doctor’s wife.
Mary’s got to break Liza’s soul for the sake of saving Drew from this soul-draining void of a woman as far as telling her that Drew will never, ever, EVER love her and that she needs to just focus all of her energy onto her job.
Rocky StoneaxeJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:39 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#73):
@Little Guy (#63): IP=Ink Pen. It’s not on The Chron, but can be found on Yahoo comics.
It can also be found on gocomics:
http://www.gocomics.com/inkpen
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:44 pm [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#79): given that proto-humans evolved in a savanna-type environment, it really is a decent joke. A step up from the “pretty cro-magnon lady likes primitive Neanderthal guy” concept. :-)
Baka GaijinJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:49 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#98): “Is ’shrimp scampi’ what the kids are calling sex these days?” No. It’s a revolting orange lumpy seafood-like dish that makes lutefisk taste like a mild tuna steak.
AnonymousJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:49 pm [Reply]
JP: Man, look at Sophie’s expression. She’s so excited. “38, 267 viewers! If each of them paid only a half dollar … Yes!” I can see her next adventure now.
MarcJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:52 pm [Reply]
Luann- My hatred for Nancy DeGroot, this strip in general, and Greg Evans most of all keeps growing by the day.
Funky- Who in the holy crap is Nate? And why is he all of a sudden getting name dropped all over the place?
Hi & Lois- Trixie is a quick learner. She’s already becoming a full blown fun crushing, soul sucking bitch just like mommy.
Is there anyhope for a cross over where Mary Worth meddles Les Moore and well pretty much anyone from Luann into the path of an oncoming train? Unfortunately The Buffalo News does not carry Mary Worth so I couldn’t see it, but I’d be plenty happy with the outcome.
The RidgerJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:53 pm [Reply]
@anonymous (#94): Ah, but that was only because dear, sweet Seth told the director that she had some disease and that was why he didn’t want to rehearse with her. Sweet, sweet boy.
@Anonymous (#103): Er, that was me. Stupid browser.
Calvin's Cardboard BoxJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:53 pm [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#81):
So she is the comics page version of Britney Spears? Her heart isn’t into the job anymore (if it ever was), but she is forced to go through the motions because of the legions of hangers-on whose livelihoods depend on her.
Maggie the CatJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:53 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#4): Haha, I agree! I don’t know what she sees in those little monsters.
The RidgerJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:56 pm [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#71): SFx: A note on why killer whales don’t kill humans. Orcas are pack animals, and vicious ones at that. For them to hunt, kill, and eat an animal, it has to be meaty enough to feed them all. Umm, well, but that doesn’t explain why they eat seals.
DoodJune 22nd, 2011 at 12:58 pm [Reply]
Mary Worth: Is that really a diner plopped down in Santa Royale or is it Mary’s TARDIS-like spaceship?
CalicoJune 22nd, 2011 at 1:17 pm [Reply]
@Dood (#109):
It must be her mind control lab.
June 22nd, 2011 at 1:23 pm [Reply]
@The Ridger (#108): Gotta snack sometime I guess. That seems to be how they keep their skillz sharp, too.
DoodJune 22nd, 2011 at 1:26 pm [Reply]
@Calico (#110): Ken Kesey and the Merry Pranksters had Further. Mary’s got Diner.
CalicoJune 22nd, 2011 at 1:29 pm [Reply]
The Diner came by and I got on
That’s when it all began
June 22nd, 2011 at 1:32 pm [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#41):
They sort of did that in ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES. A helicopter crashed during an early scene in the movie, and they kept it in (no major injuries that I recall) as the best special effects shot in the picture.
Also in “Tora, Tora, Tora” – one of their planes accidentally made a wheels-up landing so they used it and added a scene of the occupants trying to get the wheels down.
NeonCatJune 22nd, 2011 at 1:35 pm [Reply]
So the dude in FW is handed a folded note and is able to tell the contents of it before he unfolds it?
Forget teaching high school, he should get a Vegas act or at least clean up at blackjack…
LUJBEM FEJFJune 22nd, 2011 at 1:35 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#92): What are you talking about?! Quit posting picts of your armpits on Facebook if you don’t want people to draw them.
seismic-2June 22nd, 2011 at 1:37 pm [Reply]
Sophie thinks it’s amazing that 38,267 people go to Broadway Bill’s Web site, just so that they can view a suicide attempt. Personally, I think it’s amazing that 2 people go to the Lockhorns’ living room, just so that they can view Leroy’s ass.
commodorejohnJune 22nd, 2011 at 1:40 pm [Reply]
So I wonder if Woody Wilson meant to rearrange the digits of 2^15?
LiamJune 22nd, 2011 at 1:40 pm [Reply]
FC-I love the bored expression on Jeffy’s face.
Apartment 3G-Maybe I am reading too much into but this is the perfect setup for a lesbian themed story. Change psychic to whore and doubter to straight.
Little GuyJune 22nd, 2011 at 1:43 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#73): Danke!
@Fashion Police (#83): It probably annoys McE to no end that his “art” is derided while Woody Wilson and his BarettoHaus artists gets away with pretty women in skimpy clothes and a wall of words. Here’s a hint. I said “women”, not “shrews”.
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 22nd, 2011 at 1:45 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#44) on MW: “This might be Mary’s ultimate dilemma: two meddle-worthy people with opposing needs . . . This is . . . Mary’s Choice.”
In ancient Rome / There was a poem
About a dog / Who found two bones
He picked at one / He licked the other
He ran in circles / And he dropped dead
– Devo, “Freedom of Choice”
JupiterPluviusJune 22nd, 2011 at 1:49 pm [Reply]
Nice of Mary to set the tone for their depressing talk by inviting Liza to Santa Royale’s famously dreary ‘All Grey Diner’.
Well, this isn’t the kind of conversation you’d want to have at The Bum Boat. Erotomania + a restaurant with “bum” in its name = Unpleasantnesses.
JH PantsJune 22nd, 2011 at 1:50 pm [Reply]
I like to think that Mary Worth cruises public restrooms to get her meddle on the same way George Michael used to cruise public restrooms to get his … well, you know.
SwordsmithJune 22nd, 2011 at 1:50 pm [Reply]
@Little Guy (#10):
JP: At this stage, Woody and Mike know this is fanservice, and we know they know, and they know we know they know.
But they don’t. They only know that you know that they know. Did you know that?
SequelManJune 22nd, 2011 at 1:52 pm [Reply]
Pibgorn: ‘Panjandrum’. I can only hope that Brooke knows this word because someone flung all three syllables of it at him sometime, somewhere.
Fashion PoliceJune 22nd, 2011 at 1:54 pm [Reply]
@Little Guy (#120):
One of the better things about Mr. Wilson’s work is that his provocatively-clad women are women and not spoiled teenagers or bimbos. Once Mr. McEldowney gets past junior high school perhaps he will be able to appreciate the difference.
June 22nd, 2011 at 1:55 pm [Reply]
SFx: 2: Only technically true, because of the inclusion of the word “wild.” Though I don’t think that Tilikum being in captivity at Sea World when he killed humans on three occasions qualifies him as “domesticated.” Sorry to harsh your buzz, kiddos.
Artist formerly known as BenJune 22nd, 2011 at 1:59 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#91):
Doonesbury: Hedley is hung like a Jughead’s junk. JUGHEAD’S JUNK!
Doubleup? Is that you?
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 22nd, 2011 at 2:04 pm [Reply]
@The Guy Who Invented MS Paint (#70): Hey, man, I feel your pain. Why, only yesterday I noted that the artist was too flummoxed by your exemplary Polygon tool to use it to draw even the simplest non-rectangular quadrilateral. That she has yet to progress beyond changing the width on the Freehand pencil is hardly to be laid at your feet.
As far as her creating dialogue in your fine program, that’s also a philistine slur. Everyone knows she drops her graphics into MS Word, adds callouts, stretches them till striae blossom so they can fit around her word boxes, then grabs a screenshot, crops it and sends it for publication. The fact that she uses MS Paint for this finishing work is hardly damning. Why, I do the same thing myself to this day.
Courage, man! It could’ve been worse. You might’ve been stuck deep in the Outlook silo.
But What Do I Know?June 22nd, 2011 at 2:05 pm [Reply]
@Écureuil Écumant (#121): Or the medieval scholastic dilemma of “Buridan’s Ass”
Or, as expressed in 70’s pop lyrics
Torn between two meddles,
Feelin’ like a fool.
Bossing both of you
Is breakin’ all the rules
June 22nd, 2011 at 2:10 pm [Reply]
@The Ridger (#108): or salmon or sea otters.
Rocky StoneaxeJune 22nd, 2011 at 2:15 pm [Reply]
Mary Worth — Today’s guest artist is Edward Hopper:
http://www.artchive.com/artchive/h/hopper/nighthwk.jpg
commodorejohnJune 22nd, 2011 at 2:15 pm [Reply]
@Fashion Police (#126): Once Mr. McEldowney gets past junior high school perhaps he will be able to appreciate the difference.
Should happen right around the time Wile E. Coyote catches the Road Runner, Charlie Brown kicks the football, or parallel lines intersect.°
° (Outside Gil Thorp, that is.)
@Écureuil Écumant (#129): Worse yet: he could’ve been whatever poor damned soul had the initial idea for an animated character to provide useful hints in an office suite. They say if you open a blank Word document and listen very closely, you can still hear his screams of “NO! NO! IT WAS A BAD IDEA! DON’T ACTUALLY DO IT!!!”
DoodJune 22nd, 2011 at 2:16 pm [Reply]
Mary Worth: What Liza needs is a good day of kite-flying with Wilbur Weston. Maybe after basting herself with mayonaisse.
The RidgerJune 22nd, 2011 at 2:20 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#131): Did you ever read Cetacean, by AD Foster? Not that I’m recommending it, but it had a neat idea. The whales ran their society on the food chain, so orcas were on top because they ate everybody else, and baleen whales were on the bottom, and dolphins were lunatics nobody liked – and they really respected humans for being the ultimate predator. And then humans stopped whaling and became all soft … and the whales were enraged that they’d been lied to, and started killing us all.
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 22nd, 2011 at 2:21 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#118): I hope it was intentional, because it sets up the opportunity for those two to twiddle their bits.
Alan's AddictionJune 22nd, 2011 at 2:21 pm [Reply]
If I actually read “Mary Worth” like a casual fan, I’d be vaguely upset at the horrific double-whammy that MW’s about to unleash upon poor Liza. However, I’m not a casual fan, and I delight in reading “Mary Worth,” but not because of her uplifting interactions with the neighbors. No, there is only room in my heart for Mary alone; all other characters in the strip are merely fodder for her meddling efforts. So I’ll be delighted to see how Mary goes in for the kill with Liza. Will she deliver the news in a harsh, no-nonsense method to make sure the point is clear, thereby driving Liza to a flashy, melodramatic suicide attempt? Will she try to let the poor dear off easily, merely driving her to drugs or alcohol? Or, joy of joys, will she take pity upon Liza and agree to meddle with Drew on her behalf, becoming a double-agent meddler? Will Mary, seeing Liza’s iPhone as the cause of her troubles, launch into a long-winded lecture about the evils of modern gadgets and technology, hilariously revealing her technophobia? I guess what I’m saying is, there are no bad options on the table, and I can’t wait to see which bizarre, improbable route the writers take.
Actually, it’s kind of bizarre to think about, but the kids in the Keane family were being drawn at the same time period they reference, which gives today’s strip a weird, time-travel vibe. It’d be like the characters in “Gasoline Alley” referencing how awful their grandparents had it during the Great Depression, conveniently forgetting that they are, in fact, referencing themselves. I guess what I’m saying is, I don’t want ultra long-running strips to make references to the technology or events of the recent past, because it makes them look like immortal beings with severe cases of Alzheimer’s.
Speaking of depressing diseases that can last for decades, it’s nice to see that Les is still capable of leaping to the wrong, most-pessimistic conclusion based on a tiny “come see me” note delivered wordlessly. Given his recent track record, I’d say the safe assumption is that the principal is going to make a pass at him, but that would be humorous, so it won’t happen. Perhaps Les is right, and his long-held dream of winning a minor popularity contest based on high school politics will be dashed.
Why does today’s “Lockhorns” even need an illustration? The comic itself is a thin excuse for a horrible pun. Unless Leroy is actually sleeping/transforming into an insect-thingy in that panel, and will awake tomorrow, changed and insect-like to wreak havoc on his despicable wife and the rest of his loathsome town.
June 22nd, 2011 at 2:27 pm [Reply]
@Écureuil Écumant (#136): Ooh…of course, that’s probably the only kind of bitwise operation Abbey gets, poor dear…
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 22nd, 2011 at 2:27 pm [Reply]
@But What Do I Know? (#130) on MW: “Or the medieval scholastic dilemma of Buridan’s Ass”
Frankly, with her overbite and obstinacy, Mary reminds me considerably more of Balaam’s ass.
ocJune 22nd, 2011 at 2:28 pm [Reply]
Betty: A rare drawing mistake. Only when the punchline seemed to make no sense (and then only after deciding that those smells wouldn’t increase due to cold/wetness on them, and frankly there’s still no way for his question to make any sense) did I realize she wasn’t sticking the ice cream on her sunburned armpit.
AndyLJune 22nd, 2011 at 2:31 pm [Reply]
@anonymous (#94): That was a joke that only made sense if your read the previous strip.
In one strip he refuses to dance with her and makes up a lie that she has some contagious disease.
In the next strip she makes up a counter-lie that she’s been tested and is no longer contagious.
(The real reason he doesn’t want to dance with her is that being attracted to women is icky.)
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 22nd, 2011 at 2:31 pm [Reply]
@The Ridger (#135): can’t say that I’ve read that one! I was amused by Larry Nivan’s Known Space background, where the (legally sentient) dolphins were continuing a long-running legal action against humans for their whaling activities.
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 22nd, 2011 at 2:34 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#138): Yeah, I’m willing to bet she’s never even XOR’d — let alone with a sprite!
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 22nd, 2011 at 2:48 pm [Reply]
9CL: Well, Fernanda, you have to admit most guys would be scared off by a gal who, every other time you looked at her, her tits had swapped around to the other side of her body.
But What Do I Know?June 22nd, 2011 at 2:59 pm [Reply]
As Leroy Lockhorn awoke one afternoon from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed on his couch into a giant insect.
But What Do I Know?June 22nd, 2011 at 3:00 pm [Reply]
@Écureuil Écumant (#139): Nah, Balaam’s Ass gave good advice, as I recall. . .
GarrisonSkunkJune 22nd, 2011 at 3:02 pm [Reply]
I think you got Family Circus half right, Josh. Yes it looks like a rehash image, but I think they are indicating what was the console tv in the old comic is now a wall that a flat screen tv is standing up against (note the little black feet sticking out at the bottom). Or maybe Papa Keen just didn’t feel like hauling the old set to the trash and just put the flat screen in front of it the way some people back in the day put working portables on top of a non working console.
TheDivaJune 22nd, 2011 at 3:06 pm [Reply]
@Bring me the Hart of Johnny (#65): Much has been written about the decision to move Brad and TJ in with the former’s parents and how it makes no earthly sense whatsoever, but what’s really started to cheese me off is that nobody cares what Frank has to say about it. This radical change in living arrangements, which will affect him personally and financially, has been made without any input, approval, or even knowledge on his part, and this is supposed to be funny. It might be funny, if the focus were on how impulsive and irrational Nancy is being, instead of “ha-ha, Frank is a clueless bumbling dad who doesn’t know what’s going on under his own roof.” The way it’s written makes Nancy come off as even more of a manipulative control freak, something which up until now I didn’t think was possible.
The RidgerJune 22nd, 2011 at 3:07 pm [Reply]
Luann: Speaking of long-running strips getting mired in temporal inconsistencies, I find it really creepy that in the past decade Brad has graduated, gotten a life-inspiration, bettered himself, gotten a good job, moved out, worked hard, gotten a girlfriend, and now is suffering yet another major life change, while his sister has not aged a day.
Old School Allie CatJune 22nd, 2011 at 3:08 pm [Reply]
Luann – Glad this family doesn’t sit on their ass and marinate in pity for their eldest child. Would, I don’t know, 15 minutes of grieving be too much to ask for the guy who just had the rug pulled out from under him? Noooo, we have to uproot the whole freaking family and engage in pretend worry about Luann and her volunteer gig at the Liberry.
I hate these f***ers.
Old School Allie CatJune 22nd, 2011 at 3:10 pm [Reply]
@The Ridger (#149):
Oh, and don’t get me started on this. Luann should be roughly 36 or 37 if we aged her correctly. We’re the same age. I usually have a quarterly tantrum on this very topic.
Bastards.
seismic-2June 22nd, 2011 at 3:18 pm [Reply]
@Old School Allie Cat (#151): That means that Gunther, too, is about 37 years old. Wearing his bookworm costume.
This strip should be burned at the stake.
The RidgerJune 22nd, 2011 at 3:19 pm [Reply]
@Old School Allie Cat (#151): I don’t care if they all don’t age. But you’ve gotta be Rex Stout to pull off the “the world changed but Wolfe & Archie never age” trick. And even he didn’t have Archie age while Wolfe and Fritz didn’t!
Scott BotJune 22nd, 2011 at 3:20 pm [Reply]
@Old School Allie Cat (#151): That’s what I like about those Luann characters, man. I get older, they stay the same age. Yes, they do.
daleJune 22nd, 2011 at 3:25 pm [Reply]
Funky flunky
Why would the principal send a page to track down Les, unless he’s being fired?
Little GuyJune 22nd, 2011 at 3:27 pm [Reply]
Groovy Blinkylegume: Wait…. so Les will be moving in with Brad, TJ, and the DeGroots? Where will Ghost Lisa stay? With the new renters? In the basement? Will Mama DeGroot allow for astral threeways?
The RidgerJune 22nd, 2011 at 3:28 pm [Reply]
@Little Guy (#156): Will Summer move in, too? I’d pay to see Summer interact with Tiffany.
Baka GaijinJune 22nd, 2011 at 3:29 pm [Reply]
@LUJBEM FEJF (#116): No, no, no. I’m the guy sitting on the back seat of the car. Had you changed perspective a foot to the left, you’d see my shoe.
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#128): Some things you can’t help but reflexively repeat. It’s like poor Mr. Whipple. Much as he tries, he can’t stop himself from feeling up the toilet paper, which is more than Gunther has gotten off of Luann.
@Dood (#134): Eww. I’m going to squeeze some toilet paper now.
PoteetJune 22nd, 2011 at 3:31 pm [Reply]
LOCKHORNS — If Leroy really were an insect larva, he could pupate and turn out to be any one of millions of insect species that undergo complete metamorphosis, including flies, wasps, bees, butterflies, etc. Personally, I don’t think anything even nearly so interesting and suspenseful is possible in THE LOCKHORNS.
alyeska39June 22nd, 2011 at 3:32 pm [Reply]
Liza, Drew isn’t a job unless you’ve been hired to kill him. Or sleep with him, but something tells me that’s the less likely of the monetary options here.
PoteetJune 22nd, 2011 at 3:33 pm [Reply]
STONE SOUP — I hate to break it to you, Val, but sometimes the children whom we look forward to seeing suffer through parenthood decide, when they grow up, not to become parents. Just ask my mother:-).
Little GuyJune 22nd, 2011 at 3:37 pm [Reply]
@Swordsmith (#124):
JP: At this stage, Woody and Mike know this is fanservice, and we know they know, and they know we know they know.
But they don’t. They only know that you know that they know. Did you know that?
{JohnnyCarson} I did not know that. {/JohnnyCarson}
Artist formerly known as BenJune 22nd, 2011 at 3:40 pm [Reply]
@seismic-2 (#152):
That means that Gunther, too, is about 37 years old. Wearing his bookworm costume.
This strip should be burned at the stake.
I’m in a giving mood. Where do I send the box of matches?
AhClemJune 22nd, 2011 at 3:41 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#133):
Worse yet: he could’ve been whatever poor damned soul had the initial idea for an animated character to provide useful hints in an office suite. They say if you open a blank Word document and listen very closely, you can still hear his screams of “NO! NO! IT WAS A BAD IDEA! DON’T ACTUALLY DO IT!!!”
I think that if Clippy took Les’ place in Funky Winkerbean, the strip would be vastly improved — at least until Clippy developed a terminal wirebendoma.
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 22nd, 2011 at 3:42 pm [Reply]
Brewster Rockit: In this year’s barely-palatable phallic symbol draft, clearly Brewster got a higher pick than Popeye.
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 22nd, 2011 at 3:50 pm [Reply]
@But What Do I Know? (#146): ba-da-dum kushhhhhh
Bill ThompsonJune 22nd, 2011 at 4:00 pm [Reply]
Luann: The puzzle that is TJ costs me sleep. I have different theories about why the DeGoon family would keep him around, but so far nothing covers the facts:
TJ is Frank’s illegitimate son. This would explain why Frank meekly submits to his presence, while his harridan wife wants him around: she uses TJ as an emotional bludgeon, while he hopes that TJ is his one child who will amount to something. The flaw here is TJ’s fixed smile. Not even the most extreme psychotic could keep smiling when he discovers he shares DNA with that family.
TJ is the spawn of Hell. Satan gave him the power to warp human minds, then unleashed him on the world to pave the way for Armageddon. First step: TJ uses his powers to insinuate himself into the DeGoon family, to give himself a base of operations. He blinds them to his evil and illogical presence with the same skills that made TV viewers watch Everybody Loves Raymond. The flaw here is that if you’d just left Hell, why would you choose to live someplace worse?
TJ is Dr. Jekyll to Dirk’s Mr. Hyde: Has anyone ever seen them together? The DeGoons are scared to annoy TJ because he’ll wig out and turn into Dirk. Although, really, even the biggest pack of idiots must realize that being slaughtered by the Dirkinator is better than life with TJ.
TJ is ALF: Evans saw that show and believed the hype about ALF being a beloved character. It never dawned on him that in the real world, you’d shoot him. So Evans took the ugly, destructive, obnoxious beast, made it even more repulsive, and is now awaiting his Reuben. The flaw here is that ALF was funny one time. Or so I’ve heard.
UncleJeffJune 22nd, 2011 at 4:03 pm [Reply]
Funk, the Winkerbean: Cayla’s hairstyle has been bothering me all day…but now, I’ve figured it out: She’s supposed to be The Oracle from the first “Matrix” movie.
When Les gets canned/reprimanded for the super sexy photo, Cayla’s hair will turn into something Beyonce-ish for the “comforting with sex” scene.
One-Eyed WolfdogJune 22nd, 2011 at 4:06 pm [Reply]
“Shot up in the voting,” muses Les. “Really! Maybe it’s time to ‘leak’ that picture I took of myself screwing the school mascot.”
Peanut GalleryJune 22nd, 2011 at 4:16 pm [Reply]
@Écureuil Écumant (#129): Speaking of Outlook, I think e-mail programs really should have a “Reply None” button. That would also be a good nickname for a certain so-called comic strip.
UncleJeffJune 22nd, 2011 at 4:19 pm [Reply]
Gil Thorp: Hmm. I sense something sinister coming out of the office of the ol’ Coach. I wonder if it has something to do with drunk texting by Hobart or use of the cheerleading squad to quash that “layoff” talk.
But if it winds up with Al-Jo singing the school board to death (or at least boredom)…I’m calling Governor Walker and having him send out a goon squad to stomp on Whigham and Rubin.
June 22nd, 2011 at 4:19 pm [Reply]
@The Ridger (#157): I think Alfred E. Neuman would pay to see Summer interact with Bernice…
Esther BlodgettJune 22nd, 2011 at 4:20 pm [Reply]
@Bill Thompson (#167): I vote for “spawn of Hell.” And I assure you, ALF was hilarious.
Peanut GalleryJune 22nd, 2011 at 4:21 pm [Reply]
With credit to Buchholz Surfer for the concept, selected phrases from today’s comics:
“Today I had a funny conversation that I can’t remember.”
“Reading the obits?”
“I… don’t know!”
“It’s all very simple. First, we go up the ladder.”
“That doesn’t seem right.”
“And tell them to get the heck outta my yard!”
“I guess I’m on the right track!”
“It won’t be long before the whole world is watching!”
“Wow, the Loch Ness Monster!”
June 22nd, 2011 at 4:24 pm [Reply]
MT: Unlike most materials, the Sheriff actually becomes denser as air pressure decreases.
Uncle LumpyJune 22nd, 2011 at 4:29 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#172):
I think Alfred E. Neuman would pay to see Summer interact with Bernice…
Sophie can host the streaming video.
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 22nd, 2011 at 4:31 pm [Reply]
@One-Eyed Wolfdog (#169): “Shot up in the voting,” muses Les.
I’d be more gratified if he were just, y’know, shot up.
Darryl HeineJune 22nd, 2011 at 4:35 pm [Reply]
Leroy of the Lockhorns imitating Dagwood Bumsteads couch naps?
Scott BotJune 22nd, 2011 at 4:48 pm [Reply]
@Écureuil Écumant (#177): Is ‘Leroy of the Lockhorns’ anything like ‘George of the Jungle’ or ‘Tarzan of the Apes?’
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 22nd, 2011 at 4:49 pm [Reply]
@Darryl Heine (#178):
“Caution — Prolonged inhalation of couch cushion fumes may cause coma or death”
Scott BotJune 22nd, 2011 at 4:51 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#179):My apologizes, that was directed to @Darryl Heine (#178)
Mr. MagooJune 22nd, 2011 at 4:54 pm [Reply]
FC: I just realized that the Keane kids could be poster children for childhood obesity. They lay around and watch TV all day. The only thing fatter than their asses is their heads.
demoncatJune 22nd, 2011 at 5:31 pm [Reply]
mary look is saying what do you mean you don’t know if you love your line of work. gathering the info she needs to strike the final blow finishing off Liza. the family circus kids commenting on what tv was like in their dads days shows that they are at least aware how old tv is .
Mr. O'MalleyJune 22nd, 2011 at 5:31 pm [Reply]
9CL: Going by the feet of June 15, this could be an example of the “sneaking one past the censor” trope.
bats :[June 22nd, 2011 at 5:37 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#132): I think that was on loan the the Santa Royale Beaux Arts Gallery & Salon de Pooch. Things didn’t go so well, unfortunately…
Col. HavocJune 22nd, 2011 at 5:38 pm [Reply]
@AndyL (#64): Chekov’s virgin
Old School Allie CatJune 22nd, 2011 at 5:42 pm [Reply]
MW – Just for the record, Liza, most of us aren’t in love with our jobs.
I mean, I like being a software trainer reasonably well, but are there mornings I wake up and wonder why I don’t have my own TV Show? Yes.
I am in love with paying my mortgage, having food in the fridge and driving my car.
I am also in love with Drew. There, you made me say it. I am in love with Drew and I don’t care who knows it!
LiamJune 22nd, 2011 at 5:43 pm [Reply]
Les Moore formerly Funky Winkerbean-This storyline has been a real boost for Les’ ego. Hollywood is going to turn his boring cliched filled book into a boring cliched filled Oscar bait movie. He has two women chasing after him. Millions of people on the Internet is looking at a picture of him getting a kiss from one of the women. The only thing that can make this better if God himself came down from heaven and told Les that he is the best person on the entire planet and as a reward is raising his wife from the dead.
LiamJune 22nd, 2011 at 5:46 pm [Reply]
@Old School Allie Cat (#187):
You can’t love Drew because I love Drew. I told him for the one millionth time after he continues to brush me off.
Old School Allie CatJune 22nd, 2011 at 5:57 pm [Reply]
@Liam (#189): Yes, but I have a picture of me kissing him on my smart phone that I’ve sent to all my BFFs. My love for Drew has gone viral. Top that!
VioletJune 22nd, 2011 at 5:57 pm [Reply]
The Lockhorns really do take marital acrimony to ambitious new levels. Most couples just have the one couch upon which they sit gazing numbly at the TV to while away the interminable bleak evenings, whereas Leroy and Loretta have arranged identical blue sofas facing each other to facilitate their contempt-fueled staring contests.
bourbon babe, unbuckledJune 22nd, 2011 at 5:59 pm [Reply]
@Liam (#189): Well, I feel sorry for both of you, because Drew and I have plans to go away this weekend; I was just about to text him to tell him so.
wossnameJune 22nd, 2011 at 6:02 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#185): Yay bats :[!
bourbon babe, unbuckledJune 22nd, 2011 at 6:06 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#185): You rock.
wossnameJune 22nd, 2011 at 6:06 pm [Reply]
@Old School Allie Cat (#187), @Liam (#189), @Old School Allie Cat (#190), and @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#192): Well you may all love Drew, but Drew loves me. I know because the last time I knocked at his door, he said “Wossname, you’re a sweet girl, but blablabla something I didn’t catch blablabla restraining order blablabla better for all concerned.” So there!
LiamJune 22nd, 2011 at 6:09 pm [Reply]
MW-What is up with the perspective of the diner in the first panel? It looks like it is haning off of something and it also looks like it is touching the building next to it.
Rocky StoneaxeJune 22nd, 2011 at 6:15 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#185):
After your “tribute”, I’ll never look at Mr. Hopper’s Nighthawks* the same way!
*No relation to Mr. Popper’s Penguins — although I’d love to see Jim Carrey play “Charley Smith” in Mary Worth: The Motion Picture!
JacelJune 22nd, 2011 at 6:17 pm [Reply]
When I saw the diner exterior filling the first panel of today’s Mary Worth, I expected to see Mary and her latest victim sitting near Zippy and Griffy.
spikeJune 22nd, 2011 at 6:19 pm [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#81): Jeff’s pith attempts will come to naught–Mary has a lifetime supply of salmon squares and potatoade.
@bats :[ (#185): Hopper would approve!
bourbon babe, unbuckledJune 22nd, 2011 at 6:19 pm [Reply]
@wossname (#195): My relationship with Drew goes beyond knocking. If I don’t knock, he doesn’t have a chance to escape he gets to be surprised by my visit!
ElkMeadowJune 22nd, 2011 at 6:21 pm [Reply]
@Bring me the Hart of Johnny (#65):
Also, why would TJ have to be kicked out if he can pay his half of the rent? He could get a new roommate and kick Brad to the curb, since they probably signed a lease.
T.J. has to move in, so that Nancy can do the “leave the door unlocked while I’m in the bathroom, coming out of the steamy shower, naked” routine that she already did the last time T.J. lived there. Sorry if anyone else already posted this, as I’m not reading every 197 previous posts.
How much will Evans tip-toe around Frank being cuckolded?
Also–Squee!!–love that Honeymoon is coming back at Dick Tracy. Looks like her magnetic fingers are under control, and her antenna are still hidden in her hairdo. Love the salute to Frank Zappa’s daughter!
ElkMeadowJune 22nd, 2011 at 6:24 pm [Reply]
@The Ridger (#108):
Maybe orcas eat seals for the high fat content? Or because they look like shmoos?
ElkMeadowJune 22nd, 2011 at 6:27 pm [Reply]
@Anon (#14):
Apologises to Anon, for posting the same thought I had, hours earlier re. Nancy and T.J.
ElkMeadowJune 22nd, 2011 at 6:31 pm [Reply]
Apologises to Anon, for posting the same thought I had, hours earlier re. Nancy and T.J. @But What Do I Know? (#36):
RMMD — Can this get any slower?
Almost makes the minute by minute “Berna won the lottery” storyline look like a race at the Belmont, doesn’t it?
commodorejohnJune 22nd, 2011 at 6:49 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#197): Ooh, now there’s an idea. I think I’d actually go with Bruce Campbell for Charley, though.
gleebJune 22nd, 2011 at 6:59 pm [Reply]
Archie: Even the magic levitating ball didn’t help.
Popeye: I can thinks of a good way ta test that, Wimpy.
Spidey: Get on with it!
nescioJune 22nd, 2011 at 7:06 pm [Reply]
@Faoladh (#3): You may want to look into moving to Dingburg.
Les of the Jungle PatrolJune 22nd, 2011 at 7:09 pm [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#25): You’re a plugger if you’re straight.
The RidgerJune 22nd, 2011 at 7:09 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#185): You totally rule.
daleJune 22nd, 2011 at 7:16 pm [Reply]
Luann
Was T.J.’s financial situation ever established?
I thought he had a trust fund, but it was wiped out. Didn’t he sell his car to Luann because he couldn’t afford to keep it.
I doubt he signed a lease, but even if he had, would the DeGroots take him to court?
The way I remember the story, Frank and Nancy were afraid to ask ToeJam about his employment and too stupid to ask Brad.
June 22nd, 2011 at 7:17 pm [Reply]
FW: Silent Sullen is pissed off that her cameo appeared in Funky Winkerbean, where she is lazily drawn, has no dialogue and, let’s be honest, no boobs, either. She’s dreaming of her never-to-be-realized cameo in Judge Parker, wearing a slit skirt, sporting impossibly deep cleavage AND spitting out improbable dialogue. She’d have a name: Tor Treeform or Probe Bonno, or perhaps something clever. Probe Bonno would have kicked Les in the balls before running out the door in her stiletto Jimmy Choos, presumably to a better two dimensional universe.
Fashion PoliceJune 22nd, 2011 at 7:18 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#133):
We agree, although intersecting parallel lines may be the least far-fetched of the examples you cite. We are convinced that Judge Parker takes place in an alternate and possibly non-Euclidean universe. Certainly time in the Spencerverse does not behave as we are accustomed (nor, apparently, does gravity in proximity to the female body). Parallel lines may indeed intersect there.
June 22nd, 2011 at 7:19 pm [Reply]
S-M — So I’m a major successful crime boss and I receive an anonymous invitation to meet a mysterious unknown supposedly-more-important-than-me crime boss, unnamed, undescribed, some dark night in a windowless warehouse in the seedy part of town. And since I’m a character in S-M, naturally I head straight for the meetup. The real mystery about the mean-looking guys who rule the world of crime in SPIDER-MAN is how they’ve avoided sending all their ill-gotten gains to Nigeria.
bats :[June 22nd, 2011 at 7:28 pm [Reply]
@wossname (#193), @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#194), @Rocky Stoneaxe (#197), @spike (#199): (pssst: I was stumped for a name of this classy joint (even though “Diner” seems to serve Mary’s purposes)…any suggestions? Does the Bum Boat have a slightly more casual venue?)
@commodorejohn (#205): Charlie Sheen, at least before he went off the deep end.
Rocky StoneaxeJune 22nd, 2011 at 7:28 pm [Reply]
@Rod O\’Steele (#211):
I’ve always had a soft spot for the name Sulky Siren:
http://romanticfae.deviantart.com/art/Sulky-Siren-140124974
gnome de blogJune 22nd, 2011 at 7:28 pm [Reply]
@The Ridger (#149):
Luann has aged. Since Brad graduated from high school she’s gone from 14 to 16. Brad has to be at least 23 now though. Not only is he pulling away from Luann he’s catching up with Toni. I think she’s stayed 26 sincel Brad met her when he was 19. Her initial coolness toward him was based on being a lot older.
June 22nd, 2011 at 7:29 pm [Reply]
Spiderman-The Big Boss is actually five feet tall.
Fashion PoliceJune 22nd, 2011 at 7:35 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#214):
We seem to recall that the waiters at the Bum Boat wear bow ties and those cute little waiter jackets. What could be classier than that?
June 22nd, 2011 at 7:38 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#214): Desperation Diner? Diner of Broken Dreams? I guess I’m reacting more to Hopper’s original than the Santa Royale version. East Santa Royale Fine Foods? (I’m assuming the side of Santa Royale away from the coast is the poor side of town.)
Hey, isn’t that the same place Dex ran into Tony and Holly?
June 22nd, 2011 at 7:41 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#215)
I like Sulky Siren, too, but right now I’m partial to Kim Chihuahua, the imaginary Korean-Mexican adult film star. Also, there’s this Russian lawyer, Ivana Twistemovya, who’s pretty hot. I’ve seen her on Russian CourtTV.
AnonymousJune 22nd, 2011 at 7:44 pm [Reply]
MW….have to agree with Old School Allie Cat…who the hell likes his/her job? and what nurse doesn’t want to snag a Dr? Here is the choice… lunch at the country club or taking someone’s rectal temperature?
I hope that Bit@h Mary doesn’t get Liza fired and instead gives Liza some tips on snagging Drew. Sources tell me that Mary “helps out” women w/ unwanted pregnancies (especially third trimester.) Perhaps she and Terry Bryson can let Liza enter their “business.”
Rocky StoneaxeJune 22nd, 2011 at 7:48 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#214):
I’m partial to Stuff Yer Face:
http://www.stuffyerface.com/
MustangJune 22nd, 2011 at 7:51 pm [Reply]
FW – OMG. I think Les’s friend and coworker is rarin’ to be the third queen in the stable of Les’s gals. O baby! O Baby! Just do it Les. Lower that eyebrow down to cheekbone range…Unlatch your jaw so it looks like you got an extra face goin’ on down there. Reel her in buddy. Just reel her in. Cuz you have got it GOIN’ ON!!
Frank Lee MeidereJune 22nd, 2011 at 7:58 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#86): You’d probably enjoy the “Extremely Bad Advice” column in the National Post.
Frank Lee MeidereJune 22nd, 2011 at 8:18 pm [Reply]
@TheDiva (#148):
It might be funny, if the focus were on how impulsive and irrational Nancy is being, instead of “ha-ha, Frank is a clueless bumbling dad who doesn’t know what’s going on under his own roof.”
But…you’ve just described the plot of 90% of TV sitcoms since the ’50s! How can it not be funny?
Pseudo3DJune 22nd, 2011 at 8:25 pm [Reply]
Brad has been fired.
Liza’s about to get fired.
Les could be fired (knowing Batiuk, this wouldn’t happen).
Who’s next on the chopping block?
(and speaking of the chopping block, where the heck does Seth work in 9CL? I mean, sharing an apartment, taking dance classes, does their place operate on Friends Rent Control, or what?)
The RidgerJune 22nd, 2011 at 8:34 pm [Reply]
@Pseudo3D (#226): They’re professional dancers, aren’t they – not just students. But somebody has to have money somewhere. I only started reading this strip because of CC (gee thanks) and I haven’t searched the archives at all, but I always kind of figured Seth had money.
ElkMeadowJune 22nd, 2011 at 8:38 pm [Reply]
@Pseudo3D (#226):
FW’s Susan’s going to quit or be fired.
spikeJune 22nd, 2011 at 8:44 pm [Reply]
@Pseudo3D (#226): ElkMeadow’s got it right…and beat me to the punch.
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