Crock, 6/26/11
I was going to make some snide comment that the Legion really doesn’t need particularly smart people to undertake its primary task of brutal colonial oppression, but then I realized that, quite honestly, we never see much oppression going on in Crock, just a lot of marching around the deserts nowhere near major population centers. I suppose the people locked up in hotboxes and/or the “bandits” and “spies” with which Crock’s crew occasionally skirmishes might be freedom fighters? But still, the point is that this company of soldiers seems to be doing nothing of value, at (despite Crock’s cost-containment measures) considerable expense to the French taxpayer. Bring the boys home!
Pluggers, 6/26/11
Note that the throwaway panel goes out of its way to establish that today’s protagonist is a proud patriot before showing us that he’s also a lazy bum. Why does Pluggers hate America?
This entry was posted on Sunday, June 26, 2011 at 12:04 pm and is filed under Crock, Pluggers. | 133 responses to “” Rocky StoneaxeJune 26th, 2011 at 12:11 pm [Reply]
@CanuckDownSouth (#y111):
Sure Tommie, you just go on telling yourself that Luann’s family is odd to avoid having to face how your mom comes and visits for an hour every decade or so.
With good reason. You see, Tommie’s mother and family dwell in Zip-A-Toon*, a miraculously blessed village that rises out of the mists every hundred years for only a day.
*It’s right next door to Brigadoon, a similarly blessed village.
captainswiftJune 26th, 2011 at 12:11 pm [Reply]
Pluggers: Stupid, lazy bear. THIS is why Yogi and Smokey have put aside their differences to fight for the common good. Bear-Man Plugger is an embarrassment to bruin-kind.
jnobleJune 26th, 2011 at 12:17 pm [Reply]
Crock of crap: Throwaway panels: Don’t ask don’t tell?
Luann: Oh those teenagers! You know how they LOVE going to the mall but HATE cleaning their rooms! Greg Evans, you sure have your finger on the pulse of modern youth!
June 26th, 2011 at 12:24 pm [Reply]
Exactly how did Mike Ault submit this to Brookins? ‘You see there’s this lazy guy who lives next door to me and his yard looks like the shit and I can’t have people over cause it’s an eyesore. You know, he’s just like Thirsty from Hi and Lois.’
CalicoJune 26th, 2011 at 12:25 pm [Reply]
It’s the Pluggers/Smif/Thirsty Sunday Do-Nothing Club. ZZzzzzzzzz
Roto13June 26th, 2011 at 12:30 pm [Reply]
Something something cell phones getting reception in the desert something, god I hate Crock.
Scott BotJune 26th, 2011 at 12:34 pm [Reply]
Pluggers – Ok, why is it when my lawn gets too long because our lawnmower’s busted and I can’t get it fixed right away, every Plugger in the neighborhood is giving me dirty looks; but when this dude blows off his mowing because he’s lazy, they call it ‘folksy’ and he gets a write up in the paper? I call foul.
pugfugglyJune 26th, 2011 at 12:35 pm [Reply]
Pluggers may set out to mow the lawn, but end up just huffing gas and passing out instead….
AviatrixJune 26th, 2011 at 12:36 pm [Reply]
@Roto13 (#6):
It doesn’t matter if you get reception, they still want to send you a frickin’ bill. When I called to cancel, my cell provider tried to convince me that I needed to continue to pay them for cellphone service in the Arctic, hundreds of kilometres from the nearest cellphone tower, because they had “Canadawide coverage.” Canadawide maybe but not Canadahigh.
Doctor HandsomeJune 26th, 2011 at 12:42 pm [Reply]
Not even the best and brightest Legionnaire will be able to explain the math behind there being five troops, then only one, then a different(?) one, then another(?) one, then three. But since none of them got picked and it was never explained what they were competing for and there was obviously no point behind any of this anyway, I guess it all works out in the end.
ClintJune 26th, 2011 at 12:57 pm [Reply]
Most men I’ve known who would fall under the “Plugger” demographic would rather mow their lawns than just about anything else. Two, three times a week, out there trying to make the lines absolutely straight (and complaining about the lazy bums next door who only do it once every seven or eight days, and framing the topic in terms of God, Nation and the War on Terror and some weird tangent that sounds just vaguely racist enough to make you uncomfortable).
Worrying About the Lawn is the Plugger National Pastime.
Scott BotJune 26th, 2011 at 12:58 pm [Reply]
See, I got a completely different take on today’s Pluggers, mainly because I read the GoComics version:
http://www.gocomics.com/pluggers
In that one, the first panel shows a good honest hardworking Plugger with a plunger, taking responsiblity for the care of his home. In the second panel, we show a shiftless, lazy Plugger putting off his chores. The contrast is striking, and it’s a good lesson to all the comic readers out there about responsibility.
Proof positive that Pluggers is Goofus and Gallant for the geriatric set.
AviatrixJune 26th, 2011 at 12:58 pm [Reply]
@Doctor Handsome (#10): Think of it as a montage, where the inquisitor is travelling to various identical remote outposts in search of the best and the brightest. Otherwise, the increases are due to people previously in hiding being hauled out to the review, and the decreases to the self-admitted intellectuals being hauled off for execution, between panels.
ClintJune 26th, 2011 at 1:04 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#12):
Check it out, though…in that alternate panel, there are a couple fish with air bubbles hovering to the Plugger’s left, indicating that he’s underwater, meaning he allowed the plumbing situation to reach the point of Total Submersion before deciding it was time to get the plunger.
Oh, wait! I get it now! PLUGGERS. ‘Cause the toilet’s severely plugged! it all makes sense now! Pluggers consume so much red meat and cheese that even modern plumbing often cannot handle their gastric payloads.
BigTedJune 26th, 2011 at 1:05 pm [Reply]
Not only doesn’t this plugger care about his own lawn, it looks like one of those enormous trees probably rains down leaves on his neighbor’s yard, too. A puny five-foot fence means nothing when you live next door to a plugger!
Scott BotJune 26th, 2011 at 1:09 pm [Reply]
Crock – I’m too lazy to look it up, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this strip was a repeat, with different technology substituted every few years in the ‘Because I can decipher a cellphone bill’ word balloon:
1975 – ‘Because I can hook up your 8 track player.’
1990 – ‘Because I can program your VCR.’
2006 – ‘Because I can help with your MySpace account.’
One has to wonder what variation of this theme will be used in 2020 when the strip reappears.
OavisJune 26th, 2011 at 1:11 pm [Reply]
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Plugger comic in color before, and I have to admit I’m impressed with the level of detail. Note the use of extra-heavy chain, bolted into what must be the stoutest trees in the neighborhood, all of which would be necessary to keep any plugger aloft. See also the fence dividing this plugger’s unkempt yard from the golfing-green trim lawn next door:obviously the neighbor who built the fence was considerate enough to keep the finished side facing the plugger, who in turn is too lazy to notice.
GregJune 26th, 2011 at 1:12 pm [Reply]
Pluggers also like having limbs amputated because they fall asleep in awkward positions in their hammock therefore cutting off blood to their femoral artery.
BigTedJune 26th, 2011 at 1:16 pm [Reply]
It really makes you look at these Legionnaires differently when you realize they’re a bunch of calculus-doing, Sudoku-loving nerds who can watch “Battlestar Galactica” reruns on their iPhones. Maybe a life of loneliness and lack of female companionship isn’t such a big stretch.
Black DrazonJune 26th, 2011 at 1:23 pm [Reply]
Today’s Crock demonstrates the occasional importance of throwaway panels. Try as I might (the internet seems to be repulsed by Crock), but I couldn’t find a copy of the strip without them, which is good! Without the throwaway panels, Crock looking for the smartest legionnaire is replaced with Crock harassing his men with math questions instead of bullwhips. And if there’s anything Crock doesn’t need, it’s to slip down the Dennis Mitchel Memorial Hill of Non-Menacing.
CalicoJune 26th, 2011 at 1:24 pm [Reply]
@Clint (#14):
Red Meat, cheese, cheesecake, and then one half a cup of Metamucil in a quart of chocolate milk to unclog the gastronomic quicksand.
I went out to a steakhouse the other night and they offered a 48-oz. “Cote de boeuf” steak. What. The. Heck. I ordered a 10 oz. Strip and still have a third portion for a Sunday snack.
bourbon babe, unbuckledJune 26th, 2011 at 1:24 pm [Reply]
JP: Why is Katherine wearing a non-revealing top and a bulky bathrobe? Didn’t she get the newest 100 Ways to Flaunt Your Ta-tas manual? I thought that was required reading for all the JP women.
Agnes: Wow, two “Trout’s mom is a dirty whore” jokes in one week. (I’m actually amused by Trout’s mom—I admire an enthusiastic woman—but I’m a little surprised that these jokes are getting through.)
BB: Yeah, they’re blowing; it’s blow by blow; more blowing, mule; etc. See today’s Brewster Rockit for the appropriate following phrases.
A3G: I suppose that in Margo’s world, dramatic changes and love beyond any other are pretty standard.
MT: Where’s B. Racoon when we most need him?
McManxJune 26th, 2011 at 1:24 pm [Reply]
Pluggers — A plugger has his priorities straight: He waits to mow until the length of grass qualifies as hay, he sells it to a local stable, then claims his lawn for a farm subsidy.
CalicoJune 26th, 2011 at 1:26 pm [Reply]
@Greg (#18):
Ugh, that almost happened to Eddie Money many years ago-he snorted what he thought was coke, and it turned out to be a downer or Mickey of some sort-he passed out on his leg and cut off a good deal of the blood flow.
June 26th, 2011 at 1:28 pm [Reply]
Pluggers let the grass grow long so that when his inlaws come to visit, they’ll have a place to graze.
bourbon babe, unbuckledJune 26th, 2011 at 1:29 pm [Reply]
MW: Mary Worth career counsels Liza:
Mary: You’re beautiful and you have drive. Let’s explore your options.
Liza: I’d make a great doctor’s wife!
Mary: Well, besides that, what are your interests?
Liza: I’m interested in being a doctor’s wife!
Mary: Do you have any other abilities?
Liza: I’m able to be a doctor’s wife!
Mary: . . . .
Mary: No, I mean, what are your particular talents?
Liza: Oh, I see what you mean. Let’s see. I’m an excellent texter!
Mary: . . . .
Mary: Would you settle for being a lonely advice-columnist’s wife?
June 26th, 2011 at 1:33 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#1):
No “Zip-A-Toon” sightings, but “Brigadoon” is scheduled to be shown on TCM Wednesday, June 29 at 10 PM.
@captainswift (#2), @Scott Bot (#12):
I think Plugger Bear has been smoking grass instead of mowing it:
http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures/31000/Marijuana-Smokey-Bear-31147.jpg
Alan's AddictionJune 26th, 2011 at 1:35 pm [Reply]
I think that today’s “Crock” is trying to make a “One of these is not like the others” joke about the deciphering of cell phone bills… Which really isn’t that hard, if you take twenty minutes to do some research about what those charges actually mean. Similarly, though Sudoku is difficult to get started, it’s not that difficult after a week or two of practice. So maybe they’re going for a “Two of these aren’t like the others” joke. Also, I can’t imagine any task in the middle of a God-forsaken desert that requires being “The best and the brightest,” especially since the less-clever, less-able soldiers presumably died of thirst and hunger long ago. Natural selection has already done the Commandant’s job for him.
Actually, if read as a subtle indictment of the inherently fascist foundation of a neighborhood homeowner association (those friendly people who tell you exactly how often you have to mow your lawn), today’s “Pluggers” is a fantastic, subtly satirical blow against local, American forms of tyranny. Or it’s just a lazy excuse to draw a bear in a hammock and espouse the virtues of laziness. Any Plugger knows that there’s a fine line between being brilliantly creative and simple, moronic pandering; which is why we get these strips that are insanely subversive if viewed one way, and depressingly dull if viewed another.
June 26th, 2011 at 1:39 pm [Reply]
Oh, and who knew that Camp Swampy with laden with cocaine trafficking and abuse.
SequiturJune 26th, 2011 at 1:41 pm [Reply]
Pluggers: Hibernation sets in when you least expect it.
Peanut GalleryJune 26th, 2011 at 1:44 pm [Reply]
If Beetle Bailey gave insufferably cutesy titles to their Sunday strips (like Dennis the Menace does), this one would be called “Blow Job.”
TaggedJune 26th, 2011 at 1:47 pm [Reply]
Doonesbury: But like notes, you can’t do searches while taking tests. Why does Zipper hate the ‘learning process’?
NS: And here I thought the ‘nagging wife’ jokes went out with the 1950s. How wrong could I be?
Foxtrot: And are you also aware that Mrs. Fox has been ‘modifying’ the lunch menus to only have tofu?
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 26th, 2011 at 1:56 pm [Reply]
Crock: My gracious, that “bold and beautiful” type is quite the two-wristed ruffian, isn’t he. Didn’t that cleft-chin stereotype actually fall out of favor sometime right around the end of colonialism?
forgotJune 26th, 2011 at 2:02 pm [Reply]
mark trail doesnt like racoons?
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 26th, 2011 at 2:12 pm [Reply]
@forgot (#34): No kidding, I was wondering the same thing. John F. Thrasher wants to live out in the woods, but no, Elrod wants to shanghai him back to town. Racoon wants to hang out with the city folks, Elrod says no, back to the woods wit yez. Wild thangz, fight The Man.
bourbon babe, unbuckledJune 26th, 2011 at 2:25 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#y150): Whether or not that’s a pencil skirt, I’m not sure I’d want to wear anything that suggests that my ass is as wide as the highway. (Love the hippo bulldog, though!)
Mark BJune 26th, 2011 at 2:38 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#y150): The road goes on forever, and the party never ends.
seismic-2June 26th, 2011 at 2:43 pm [Reply]
I don’t think the bear Plugger is being lazy at all. He’s engaged in a home renovation project, growing a new outhouse.
Spidey: So now he’s finally achieved his true level in the super-hero scheme of things – traffic-light enforcement. Well, that’s why they call it the “Peter” principle.
MT: “Even thought these masked bandits are cute and often playful, it is best to stay away from these wild animals.” Then how are you going to get a collar on him, and teach him that his name is “Sneaky”?
PoteetJune 26th, 2011 at 2:47 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#Y137): Re PV, I guess this is what happens when you saddle some poor baby with a name like “Maldubh.”
Baka GaijinJune 26th, 2011 at 3:06 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#27): Has it been a hundred years already? Time sure flies.
@seismic-2 (#38) on Pluggers: I thought bears only did that in the woods.
mgmJune 26th, 2011 at 3:13 pm [Reply]
Today’s Pluggers is actually an astute political commentary on the American occupation of Iraq and Afghanistan– that plugger represents the American armed forces. He chooses to allow his hammock (the bureaucracy and red tape surrounding the occupation) support his laziness and allow him to avoid mowing the tall grass (repressing terrorism and guerilla opposition). The bush in the background is Wikileaks.
SD Fat ManJune 26th, 2011 at 3:14 pm [Reply]
Rex Morgan – take a look at the fourth panel and tell me how in the $#%^@! Dr. Morgan has (Jeff Dunham’s dummy) “Walter” as a patient.
NoahSnarkJune 26th, 2011 at 3:14 pm [Reply]
That pose suggests the bear in Pluggers is dreaming he is Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct – a mental image so horrible I apologize to everyone who just read that sentence.
AustriaJune 26th, 2011 at 3:25 pm [Reply]
“Why does Pluggers hate America?”
Pluggers are terrorists/Soviets/Nazi scum.
June 26th, 2011 at 3:28 pm [Reply]
Marvin: “For some reason food always tastes better when you eat outdoors.” Marvin’s leaky Diaper Genie is inside. Need I say more?
Pluggers: Narcolepsy is funny.
One Big Happy: Ruthie, my happy place is where they throw live clowns on the fire for St. John’s Day. They smell like burning hamburgers.
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 26th, 2011 at 3:29 pm [Reply]
Pluggers: Now waitaminnit, Josh, how is an “Unemployed Slobs Anonymous” gimme-cap a paean to patriotism?
AlisonJune 26th, 2011 at 3:29 pm [Reply]
And just because of that one hat I say, thank you Pluggers, for erasing some of the shame I feel every time I remember the FOOBs are Canadian. Although on the flip side I’m sure a lot of American people hate you even more today than they did yesterday. Comic strip shame: affecting all our nations.
CanuckDownSouthJune 26th, 2011 at 3:34 pm [Reply]
@Tagged (#32): re:Doons. No kidding. And even in the Real World where you can do searches in order to do a job, you need a command of some facts to be aware of whether there’s something to search for in the first place, or to put new information into context. In physics, you can always look up an equation once you know that there’s one that connects the quantities you’re dealing with. And learning what an equation means might be helped by memorizing it, so the rote part isn’t useless.
This GuyJune 26th, 2011 at 4:31 pm [Reply]
DT: “The mere fact that you call it ‘pop pop’ tells me you’re not ready.”
bats :[June 26th, 2011 at 4:34 pm [Reply]
MW: Well, THAT was quick!
Baka GaijinJune 26th, 2011 at 4:38 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#50): Was that Charlie’s leer?
Frank Lee MeidereJune 26th, 2011 at 4:48 pm [Reply]
Crankshaft & Funky Winkerbean:
You know what the best part of Batiuk’s comics is?
Neither do I.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 26th, 2011 at 4:50 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#36): *cries* that isn’t what I meant!
I guess it’s a matter of perspective. . . .
;-) (glad that you liked the hippobulldoggie.)
Frank Lee MeidereJune 26th, 2011 at 4:55 pm [Reply]
Doonesbury: The Prisoner did an episode on this (“The General”). It was oddly prescient in that it involved a computer network with all the facts, but none of the context, much like the Internet. (On the down side, it was also arguably the weakest episode in the series.)
Frank Lee MeidereJune 26th, 2011 at 5:05 pm [Reply]
Spiderman: Since there is no direct evidence that these guys were breaking the law, it seems to me that Spidey is setting himself up for some whopping law suits if he keeps this up. On the plus side, a series of long, boring court cases would be way more interesting than anything we’ve seen so far.
Frank Lee MeidereJune 26th, 2011 at 5:15 pm [Reply]
Luann: So the father was going to tell Luann to clean her room, but the mother tells him to wait until it can be used to their own advantage. This, apparently happens when Luann wants to go to the mall, and the instruction to clean her room is used to thwart her desires.
Nice. Is there any way of reporting comic strip parents to Children’s Aid?
SequiturJune 26th, 2011 at 5:16 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#50): Maybe she could have the Bumsteads as her first customers.
(An oldie goldie)
Mordock999June 26th, 2011 at 5:26 pm [Reply]
Re: Today’s PLUGGERS
Why is “USA” on the cap? Well, because if Brookins had put “CAT” on it, lawyers representing the Caterpillar Corpoatation would have SUED his balls off.
________________
DEATH to TJ!!!
June 26th, 2011 at 5:31 pm [Reply]
@Mordock999 (#58): a dog-man wearing a CAT hat?
jus’ taint natch’rul.
Frank Lee MeidereJune 26th, 2011 at 6:00 pm [Reply]
Thatababy: Damn it! The joke is: “What’s black and white with a cherry on top”!
Which reminds me, my wife and I saw a black and white police car the other day — not the OPP, either. I realised how much I missed them, and how iconic they were. Newer police cars are all pastel-ly and blue. No wonder crime has increased.
Pseudo3DJune 26th, 2011 at 6:00 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#50): Ha! I was going to say prostitution too. But of course, Liza is young, yes, but beautiful? Eh…
Uncle LumpyJune 26th, 2011 at 6:01 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#59):
Why not? The bear has an “I’m with Chicken” t-shirt.
MustangJune 26th, 2011 at 6:04 pm [Reply]
I used to live across the street from the prototype Plugger. I’m pretty sure they cloned all the other pluggers from this guy. And I’m here to tell you there is no way he would push a mower around his yard, because that would require exercise. This guy had a tiny house, a fairly small lawn and a big honking John Deere riding mower, and he mowed his lawn like 5 times a week.
Pseudo3DJune 26th, 2011 at 6:05 pm [Reply]
9CL: Um, ew?
AS-M: Since when does Spider-Man care about petty crimes such as red-light running? I like to think there’s multiple Spider-Men in this comic strip (hey, it’s happened in the Marvel universe): our Peter Parker is a lazy bum, while someone more competent is fighting criminals elsewhere in the city.
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 26th, 2011 at 6:20 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#60): Damn it! The joke is: “What’s black and white with a cherry on top”!
The way I heard it, “What’s black and white with a cherry on top and two nuts inside?” “Car 54, Where Are You?”
I was younger then.
June 26th, 2011 at 6:20 pm [Reply]
@Uncle Lumpy (#62): *snurk* :-D
jayjaybearJune 26th, 2011 at 6:24 pm [Reply]
@Pseudo3D (#64): So newspaper Spidey is the clone whose pod lost life support for 40 minutes due to faulty wiring?
Buck RipsnortJune 26th, 2011 at 6:27 pm [Reply]
Slylock: Hey, did Max Mouse ever speak, or squeak, before? I thought everybody in this strip was mute.
bats :[June 26th, 2011 at 6:37 pm [Reply]
@Sequitur (#57): I guess a “Diner” theme, or establishments promoting “Roadside” behavior, don’t count.
LiamJune 26th, 2011 at 6:38 pm [Reply]
MW-Liza contemplates what is in the coffee because Mary sounds like she is making sense.
FC-I have not seen a parking lot carnival in years.
bats :[June 26th, 2011 at 6:45 pm [Reply]
@Pseudo3D (#61): maybe Mary was just being kind.
(Yeah, I know: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)
@Liam (#70): some of the shopping centers in our area (usually in the more economically-depressed parts of town) still have them. I cannot believe that any shopping conglomerate in Paradise Valley, AZ, would have one. Then again, I cannot believe that snow that “sticks” ever happens there, either.
JesseBakerJune 26th, 2011 at 7:01 pm [Reply]
@Tagged (#32): Zipper sees Walden like a hotel; he parties there, goes to class like it was a mandatory timeshare seminar, and bankrupts his mommy in the process.
I’ve repeatedly written in to the blowback section that, with the economy being in the shitter, that Zipper needs to be cut off and/or kicked out of Walden for going 10 years and never getting passed freshman status. Between his slackerdom getting more and more obnoxious with every passing year and that horrific incident with Toggle (to which Zipper has yet to receive ANY consequences from, as far as BD and company shunning him for the things he said to Toggle), I have to ask why Zipper hasn’t gotten his grand comeuppence yet.
Frank Lee MeidereJune 26th, 2011 at 7:24 pm [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#65): I’d never heard that one, but now that theme song is going to run through my head for the rest of the evening.
PS: Loved that show.
Rocky StoneaxeJune 26th, 2011 at 7:26 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#50):
That isn’t all Drew Corey has in his wallet:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cjong/4793294143/
Artist formerly known as BenJune 26th, 2011 at 7:53 pm [Reply]
Crock: “That’s fantastic! Have cellphones been invented yet? Because that’s not really clear.”
Lio: Lio remembers his predecessor the Yellow Kid, even if no one else does.
SFx: I didn’t catch all the upside-down words, but they seem to boil down to “Slylock is right and Max is wrong. Deal with it.”
Marvin: Well at least the stank from Marvin’s diaper is keeping all the ants at a safe distance.
DT: So the pseudo-Ponytail that Doubleup murdered for the hell of it was just a mixed-up runaway? New writer Mike Curtis is driving a grim bargain.
MW: “Dear, try to keep your head from collapsing while I’m talking you up.”
Momma: The omission of “SSDD” seems like a waste.
RMMD: “Foster Woods, you old so-and-so! Thank God, Baldy here was boring me into a coma. Why am I expected to treat nobodies, anyway?”
Artist formerly known as BenJune 26th, 2011 at 8:19 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#56): In Nancy DeGroot’s defense–and no, I’m not going to make a habit of it–isn’t selectively thwarting your child’s desires part of the job of parenting. Few children would make it to their first birthday if they got to do everything they wanted.
Peanut GalleryJune 26th, 2011 at 8:31 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#54): Wow, I was reminded of that episode too. Demonstrating the difference between memorization (or in this case, lookup) and understanding. And I agree that “The General” is subpar, especially its ludicrous “Logic Bomb” ending, but it does contain this immortal exchange:
No. 2: A brilliantly devised course, delivered by a leading teacher, subliminally learned, checked and corrected by an infallible authority… and what have we got?
No. 6: A row of cabbages.
No. 2 (proudly): Indeed. Knowledgeable cabbages!
elsJune 26th, 2011 at 8:59 pm [Reply]
I’m somewhat baffled by the single “Z” in the thought bubble. Most of the time, snoring is represented by at least three Zs… so, okay, I’ll go with it. “Pluggers don’t see the need for extra letters.” Fine. Good. But why is he thinking the Z in the first place? Isn’t snoring – if that’s what this is – auditory? Why would he be thinking about snoring instead of just snoring aloud? I can’t for the life of me see why someone would lie in a hammock and contemplate the letter Z, fine letter though it is. Is actually snoring too much effort or something?
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 26th, 2011 at 8:59 pm [Reply]
was taking a browse thru the “driveway paper” just now, and was looking at the pet ads, noticing the usual mixes, pits, toys and ‘free kittens’. However, I got a real giggle out of the ad for “Shinese” pups. (Shitz-zu + Pekinese). There was also an ad for corgi pups, for those of you that were thinking it. ;-)
seismic-2June 26th, 2011 at 9:16 pm [Reply]
@els (#78): The “USA” hat in the throwaway panel, and the single “Z” that he is thinking (rather than vocalizing) clearly indicate that the Plugger is contemplating the possibility that a right-wing group might soon assassinate a popular left-wing politician and then stage a coup d’etat to overthrow democracy in the aftermath, as happened in Greece in the 1960s. From the smile on his face, it appears that he’s in favor of the idea.
elsJune 26th, 2011 at 9:26 pm [Reply]
@seismic-2 (#80): Well, huh. I guess he does have his priorities straight.
Frank Lee MeidereJune 26th, 2011 at 9:32 pm [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#76): While thwarting our children’s desires is a necessary perk of parenthood, this use of the privilege seems completely gratuitous. Not that there’s anything wrong with the gratuitous use of parental authority, but I really hate these particular parents. In fact, I have a gratuitous hatred of them. Plus? I’ve found I really like the word “gratuitous.”
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 26th, 2011 at 9:37 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#82): Well, congratuilatouns!
Rocky StoneaxeJune 26th, 2011 at 9:40 pm [Reply]
@dfweg (#80): What’s a four-letter word for “pain in the ass”?
Frank Lee MeidereJune 26th, 2011 at 9:41 pm [Reply]
@Peanut Gallery (#77): If you ever get the chance, watch The Prisoner, a 1955 film with Alec Guinness as a Cardinal being interrogated over a period of several months in an attempt to bring him over to the side of the Communists. There are striking parallels.
As for the idea behind “The General” episode, the truth is that it’s become the standard format for education. The only difference is that rather than using a computer, we use human “facilitators.” The end result is the same: educated cabbages.
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 26th, 2011 at 9:43 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#79): “However, I got a real giggle out of the ad for ‘Shinese’ pups. (Shitz-zu + Pekinese).”
I once sent an e-mail to a local reporter who, in her online article, had referred to a lady and her “shit-zu”. She wrote me back that I probably saved her job, since they posted her article on the day before it was to appear in print. Her editor missed it too because he figured, well, those wacky Mandarins and their language.
daleJune 26th, 2011 at 9:45 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#82):
Do you like “gratuitous” more than “egregious”?
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 26th, 2011 at 9:46 pm [Reply]
@seismic-2 (#80): But Zorro then gallops in from stage left and assassinates the generalissimo in mid-harangue.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 26th, 2011 at 9:47 pm [Reply]
@Écureuil Écumant (#86): :-)
that’s a very deliberate spelling on my part. ;-)
bourbon babe, unbuckledJune 26th, 2011 at 9:51 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#53): Oh, since you’ve never actually seen my ass, no width-related offense taken!
Sgt. StonedJune 26th, 2011 at 9:56 pm [Reply]
MW: Mary then proceeds to explain the wonderful opportunities available in the “escort” profession.
SwordsmithJune 26th, 2011 at 10:03 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#56): Not to rain on perfectly good snark, but I believe the idea is that you don’t go and ask the child to do her chores out of the blue, you do it when you have leverage, to wit: you want to go to the mall? OK, clean room first. Mama Degrout is all too aware that her poor parenting skills have resulted in a teenager that will not do a chore without some form of leverage in place.
Frank Lee MeidereJune 26th, 2011 at 10:13 pm [Reply]
@dale (#87): Hard to choose between them. Of course, since I also like “imbroglio,” my favourite phrase would be “a gratuitous egregious imbroglio.”
seismic-2June 26th, 2011 at 10:14 pm [Reply]
Queen Vic: No snark, but I really liked today’s plea to this strip’s critics not be to offended by its sometimes rather off-beat humor. As usual, Pab Sungenis cuts right to the Bottom of things.
Old School Allie CatJune 26th, 2011 at 10:19 pm [Reply]
Being that it’s summer and that I live in Tennessee, every time my husband or I come in from spending extended time outside, we do a tick check – and if he’s been mountain biking, I’ll scan him pretty thoroughly. Glad I’m not married to a Plugger – because I don’t have enough hours in my day to give that furry-ass bear a once-over after an extended nap under a tree in long grass. Stupid Pluggers.
Frank Lee MeidereJune 26th, 2011 at 10:25 pm [Reply]
@Swordsmith (#92): That was actually my initial interpretation, too, however the mother specifically says, “Use her mess as leverage.” Now, if they were going to use her desire to go to the mall as a means of getting her to clean up her room, they would be using her desire as leverage, not the mess.
Of course, in the end, Luann will probably make a couple of desultory attempts at cleaning up that will make things worse, at which point her mother will step in and do it for her — the same as when Luann decided to cook.
Bill ThompsonJune 26th, 2011 at 10:30 pm [Reply]
@seismic-2 (#94): And on a midsummer night, too.
Master SoftheartJune 26th, 2011 at 10:36 pm [Reply]
FW: I’m not certain if this has been said – my Softhearted devotions have been requiring so much of my time for the last several months that I haven’t been able to follow every comment thread – but FW creates an even more strikingly offensive characterization of Les than has been the norm recently. Having friends who are public school teachers, I know that their employment prospects in the present economy where state budgets are being slashed is quite bad. For a single woman to give up that job with no other (apparent) means of support suggests that she is so humiliated and shattered by admitting still not being over a teenage crush on Les (and the pathos of a character actually experiencing such a degrading emotional dependency on Les is the most emotionally moving thing I have fond in this strip for some time, though perhaps that is merely my experience of having been on both sides of unrequited love). Setting aside the ridiculous expectation that a teacher should resign over something like this, Les is a senior teacher and longtime friends – er, well, at least smirking partners – with everyone on the faculty and staff. He is also now a successful writer with a large outside source of income. As a friend of Susan’s, he should intervene to stop her from doing this on the spur of the moment. Indeed, as a decent human being he should show more empathy with someone who has obviously been in emotional pain for a long time and may be psychologically disturbed.
While Les has not descended to the level of unsubtle self-centered evil that defines the title character, he is certainly not acquitting himself admirably in any aspect of this plotline.
ElkMeadowJune 26th, 2011 at 10:38 pm [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#yyy234):
Thanks for the info. on Gunsmoke radio theater. Sorry I didn’t reply earlier, as I’ve been out of town and away from computers.
Any idea where I could download the Sears Radio Theater? I used to listen to them back in 1979, 1980. Thanks.
http://www.audio-classics.com/lsearsradiotheater.html
June 26th, 2011 at 10:38 pm [Reply]
Whatever they are, would Pluggers really bother with lawn care? You’d think that if a man was delusional enough to see himself as a bear, he wouldn’t snooze in a hammock. He’d roam the neighborhood, eat a few children, then shamble into the woods and let his digestive tract dispose of the evidence. But if a Plugger really is a bear living an anthropoid lifestyle, how could he plant a lawn? As soon as he scattered the grass seed on the yard, wouldn’t his chicken wife make a pig of herself? Wouldn’t her family cross the road to jhoin the meal?
ElkMeadowJune 26th, 2011 at 10:40 pm [Reply]
@seismic-2 (#94):
Bottom…. I, a Gentle, do reprehend thee!
ElkMeadowJune 26th, 2011 at 10:41 pm [Reply]
Nicely done wedding at Retail.
Artist formerly known as BenJune 26th, 2011 at 11:15 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#82): “Gratuitous” is a good word. Change a few letters and it’s “fortuitous” which has a completely different meaning but is well suited to its sound. @Peanut Gallery (#77): “Hammer Into Anvil” where #6 completely gaslights that week’s #2, is probably the best. I’m fond of “Many Happy Returns.” And of course “Fall Out” demands respect. How many shows have ended on such a “what the fuck just happened” note. I mean deliberately.
honeypotJune 26th, 2011 at 11:43 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#84): “pita”
Baka GaijinJune 27th, 2011 at 12:03 am [Reply]
@Bill Thompson (#100): Great analysis, Bill.
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 27th, 2011 at 12:08 am [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#73): I know I loved it at a certain age, though I probably didn’t see much of it. In recent years, it was hard to sit still and find out if I still love it or not. Anyway, here’s an interesting bio of Joe E. Ross, who I remember in some 70s ads for Shakey’s Pizza.
@Frank Lee Meidere (#93): “Echolalia” is a nice word. I say it over and over and over.
@ElkMeadow (#99): Here’s some Sears Radio Theater. No idea if it costs money or what. Here’s another one that seems reasonably priced for CDs full of mp3s. There are others that I got by putting “sears radio theater” into Google.
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 27th, 2011 at 12:10 am [Reply]
That second link, by the way, also sells a CD of shortwave numbers stations. Just the thing to put my daughter to sleep at night!
Bill ThompsonJune 27th, 2011 at 12:41 am [Reply]
The Amusing Spiderman: Okay, I’m calling this: the Big Boss is MJ. Not even Stan Lee can resist the temptation to watch her humiliate and destroy Spidermouse. I don’t know how you humiliate a superhero who could be knocked out by his own shadow, but I’m sure MJ will think of something.
EffYou Wankerbean: I’m not surprised that Louse would taunt Susan. I’m not surprised that Batiuk would think it’s admirable. But I do hope that whoever said Susan will get a job at Montoni’s called it right.
Mark Trail: Thus begins Grizzly Adams 2.0, with a move that should inspire Susan. Now how crazy do you have to be to assault a sheriff after you’ve been alibied? This has to be more than a mere display of Trailian sociology, where having a beard makes you more erratic than a man with a moustache. Because as criminal charges go, “chicken thief” isn’t likely to get you sent to the big house. Has Myson John done something that could get him named as the corespondent in a Pluggers divorce?
Crock: You can get hypothermic in the desert. Get out there on a clear night and you’ll be amazed at how cold it gets.
Bill ThompsonJune 27th, 2011 at 12:43 am [Reply]
The Ransom of Red Phantom: “Name a science, kid? Have you ever heard of the–sweet science?”
ElkMeadowJune 27th, 2011 at 12:43 am [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#106):
Thank you! I kept finding the old time ones, which I didn’t want. The first link seems to be the one I want. Now if I could just find the Leonard Nimoy one, which kept cutting out on my drive down I-15 one Christmastime, decades ago.
bats :[June 27th, 2011 at 12:56 am [Reply]
FC: Would he? Wouldn’t he?
ElkMeadowJune 27th, 2011 at 12:58 am [Reply]
Liza, just quit already. You’re suppose to be on a BREAK, which means 10 minutes if you’re working retail, I have no idea what it is if you’re a nurse, but I’ll bet it’s not spending half an hour in the coffee shop, when you already have two strikes against you. Whether you quit or are fired for taking hour long breaks, unlike Brad, you are most likely going to be denied unemployment benefits.
PoteetJune 27th, 2011 at 1:24 am [Reply]
MT — I guess what’s ahead isn’t really a rant, so instead my warning will be Wildlife Opinion Piece Ahead. (Hey, I can call it a WOPA Warning!) As a prairie fanatic, I have a strong interest in ground-nesting birds, many of which are grassland birds that are in decline. And while raccoons definitely prey on ground-nesting birds, the birds’ real “Big Enemy” is lack of habitat. The Iowa Pheasants Forever website points out that in terms of cost-effectiveness and multiple benefits, it makes more sense to increase the amount of grassland habitat than to spend money trying to remove and exclude predators. In other words, Elrodball, stop blaming raccoons for a problem that is primarily caused by the usual suspects, namely us.
FOOBed againJune 27th, 2011 at 1:35 am [Reply]
@Master Softheart (#98):
While Les has not descended to the level of unsubtle self-centered evil that defines the title character, he is certainly not acquitting himself admirably in any aspect of this plotline.
That’s for sure. I think in some ways the way Les is presented makes him even more obnoxious than Funky, because we’re actually supposed to empathize with Les and think he’s a good guy who just has weird stuff happen to him, as if there’s nothing he can do about it. While Funky is presented as a jerk most of the time, and we can usually agree.
CharlesJune 27th, 2011 at 1:35 am [Reply]
Phantom: “I pick the Sweet Science of Pistol Whipping Annoying Kids!”
FW: I simply cannot picture Susan as smirking and being delighted as she says the things she says. It does not compute. I see the picture, but my brain doesn’t recognize it. The woman should be utterly inconsolable over what has just transpired, not joking and smirking and acting as if this doesn’t mean she’s going to be eating canned dog food in under a month.
MT: “I won’t be framed for burglary! So instead I’ll simply make assaulting a public official the charge! Kicking you in the crotch is more fun than stealing 8 track Hi-fis anyway!”
GT: Isn’t it nice how Gil has all this dirt on Hobart and undoubtedly this will be the reason why he’s got a stick up his ass, rather than the devastated school budget REALLY demanding major cuts LIKE EVERY OTHER GOD DAMN SCHOOL DISTRICT IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY?
Comcis FanJune 27th, 2011 at 2:26 am [Reply]
MW: I’m pretty sure the soundtrack to today’s Mary Worth is “Whiter Shade of Pale.” Just look: the room is humming harder, the ceiling is flying away, and Liza looks to be feeling kind of seasick. Any minute now the waiter will bring a tray. Also, does Liza need a tissue? I get the sense she’s covering/holding an unexpected collection of mucus.
AviatrixJune 27th, 2011 at 2:58 am [Reply]
@Charles (#115): Susan thinks that, having watched her make the penultimate sacrifice, Les is now obligated to marry her. And thus she smirks.
AviatrixJune 27th, 2011 at 3:23 am [Reply]
Scary Gary: Even if he doesn’t need special preserving fluid or pH balance or something that the fish wouldn’t tolerate, wouldn’t the fish eat Travis?
Spider-Man: The living severed head in the fishtank premise is more believable than this. The wacky thing is that it won’t turn out to be an extortion scheme. Oh, I’ve got it! The guy in the glowing cape is Spider-Man/Peter Parker, funding his retirement. They pay up and he leaves town for good with a few million dollars.
daleJune 27th, 2011 at 4:49 am [Reply]
@Charles (#115):
MT & GT are both pissing me off.
Mark spent 3 days? Doing what? And we never had a clue about the passage of time.
How was Sheriff going to take John in, if John didn’t agree to go?
John’s attack makes no sense unless he really is nuts or a deserter.
Gil got all this from one chance visit to the hardware store? Did he verify anything? I hope this blows up in his face. Gil is the one with a perpetual stick up his ass.
daleJune 27th, 2011 at 5:17 am [Reply]
@Aviatrix (#117):
The ultimate sacrifice being suicide.
That would give everyone else a reason to smirk or mope or both.
June 27th, 2011 at 6:12 am [Reply]
I’m going to describe a series of social situations. You will describe your reactions to them. Time is important, so answer as quickly as you can.
You lose your arm in a car crash. You could replace it with a prosthetic. This would make your life easier and make the people around you more comfortable in your presence. However you refuse to wear a prosthetic. Why is that?
You are a high school student and you make a deal with a bully. You will pretend to live in fear of him if he leaves you alone, but this will make it easier for him to bully other victims. Over the years you become friends with him and trust him to take care of your daughter. Why is that?
Yout best friend is an emotional cripple whose social incompetence makes him hurt the feelings of a woman who loves him. When he describes his problems you mock him. Why is that?
You are an old man who finds fault with everyone, insults his acquaintances and makes his family miserable. Why do you expect sympathy?
That’s right. Batiuk is a Nexus-6. He lives among us in the guise of a comic-strip writer. He uses questions from the Voigt-Kampff test to generate plots for Funky Winkerbean and Crankshaft. Those strips are part of a vast conspiracy among other escaped Nexus-6 units to help them blend into our world.
AnachrosaurusJune 27th, 2011 at 6:22 am [Reply]
FC: “Not even… ‘brother with benefits’??”
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 27th, 2011 at 6:41 am [Reply]
@seismic-2 (#94)on TNAoQV: I must admit to a bit of surprise at seeing her Majesty hobnobbing with the BVM. I rather expected the bill she rammed through Parliament in 1874, with the intent of prohibiting C-of-E “papist” practices such as “bowing and scraping” and making confessions, would’ve put a damper on that particular acquaintanceship.
Guess it must be a tiger mom bonding thing.
gleebJune 27th, 2011 at 6:48 am [Reply]
‘bean: Smirk at Creepy Les? Then he’ll just break out the full sneer.
Mark: “Sorry about the boot to the crotch, fella.”
Ziggy: “I’m practicing. I want to commit suicide by eating my own head.”
SwordsmithJune 27th, 2011 at 7:00 am [Reply]
MT: A trained and experienced law enforcement officer holding a rifle aimed at a suspected felon, with his finger on the trigger, at a distance of at least six feet, announces that he is taking said suspect into custody. The felon, as they sometimes do, flies into a rage and moves to attack, at the very moment when the officer most expects exactly this sort of response.
The officer
A) allows felon to approach and kick him in the, lets say, gut (or something that rhymes with it)
B) orders flowers for the widow
Which is the more likely scenario here?
Master SoftheartJune 27th, 2011 at 7:45 am [Reply]
@Bill Thompson (#121): Suddenly, the entire metaverse of FW and Crankshaft twists subtly in perspective and the truth emerges. Thank you.
“Quite an experience to live in despair, isn’t it? That’s what it is to be a Batiuk slave. I’ve smirked at things you wouldn’t believe; backyard grills on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched failed chemotherapy in the darkness at County Hospital. All those moments will be trapped forever in three colored panels a day, like fear and eternal pain. I wish I could die.”
I will leave the obvious “retirement” joke to others.
Mordock999June 27th, 2011 at 7:51 am [Reply]
Today’s Luann 06/27/2011
TJ – “So You got laid off, huh?”
Brad – “Yeah.”
TJ – “Man, THATS Tough.”
Brad – “Yeah.”
(Long Pause)
TJ – “Wellllll, I’m SURE you’ll find another job.”
Brad – “Yeah. Well, I was hoping that in the meantime You could____,”
TJ – “Hey, I’m a little SHORT this month. How about paying MY half of the rent?
Brad – “What?”
TJ – “And I’m moving in with Toni. Hope You don’t mind!”
Brad – “WHAT!?!”
TJ – “Oops! GOTTA RUN!”
Brad – “WHAT!??!”
______________________________
Death, Death, DEATH to TJ!!!
CharterstonedJune 27th, 2011 at 8:08 am [Reply]
MT – Looks to me as if John is administering the Right Foot o’ Justice. He must be innocent.
imperturbeJune 27th, 2011 at 4:11 pm [Reply]
Sunday’s Funky Winkerbean= most depressing Depends commercial ever.
Black DrazonJune 27th, 2011 at 5:43 pm [Reply]
Just so I’m clear, Dick Tracy’s half-alien granddaughter is being reintroduced to handle a plot about pirated movies, right? And it still seems more realistic than the Gil Thorp “schools only don’t get money if they’re being run by jerks” plotline? I think we just figured out what happened to the old Gil Thorp mutant hand gag, folks. The hand is now writing the strip.
“You can’t humiliate someone who is incapable of experiencing shame!” And now, Ziggy!
AviatrixJune 27th, 2011 at 6:21 pm [Reply]
@dale (#120): Exactly. I love hanging out with people who know what “penultimate” means. Perpetrating self harm to get Les’ attention and bind him to her is her shtick. Was there bubbly banter and smirking after the suicide attempt, too?
AnonymousJune 27th, 2011 at 6:33 pm [Reply]
@Aviatrix (#131):
I was very cautious in my phrasing.
No idea. Never saw Funky until the current era.
June 28th, 2011 at 10:44 am [Reply]
@pandora bracelet jewelry (#133), @sdfwe (#134):
hey, you have posted such a effectful article that it will certainly help me.
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