Archie, 6/28/11
I don’t understand the joke in today’s Archie — I guess it’s either “Fashion changes and so clothes that were once nice become less so over time” or “Dames, who can understand ’em” — but panel two is actually an excellent depiction of a young man staring into the face of madness.
Apartment 3-G, 6/28/11
“Oh, Paul, stop teasing Lu Ann — you know that on Groundhog Day I make my special Groundhog Loaf, made from ground-up groundhogs!”
Judge Parker, 6/28/11
It’s really kind of impressive to me that Judge Parker has managed to squeeze an entire day’s strip out of various bland forms of electronic communications.
Hi and Lois, 6/28/11
Lois is horrified that Hi has been talking to the kids about their sex life.
This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 28, 2011 at 08:19 am and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Archie, Hi and Lois, Judge Parker. | 286 responses to “” RustyJune 28th, 2011 at 8:23 am [Reply]
How are Hi and Lois different? I’ve always considered them bland and blander, so maybe that’s it? BTW, you could park a car in that kitchen.
wossnameJune 28th, 2011 at 8:25 am [Reply]
A3G – Chocolate Groundhog Day, hmm? That’s the day that the chocolate groundhog comes out of his burrow and if he sees a blond A3G character, he turns vanilla.
DtM – “You know, the voices in your head that tell you to KILL KILL KILL! I always listen to mine, Mr. Wilson. Ya don’t want to make the voices mad.”
DT – Honeymoon really is starting to creep me out. While I hope this next arc is longer and more complicated, I don’t want to see a lot of her with her icky anime features.
Phan – Hey, kid, get off the horse and pretend you have a ride back to school.
Popeye – She really is going to put her mouth on that thing, isn’t she. Now that’s disgustipatin’.
Re Archie, I think the alleged joke is that Archie hasn’t changed his clothes in 50 years. So they’re yucky. Not one of the AJLGU-3000’s better efforts.
CanuckDownSouthJune 28th, 2011 at 8:26 am [Reply]
@Swordsmith (#Y311): because the story is going to continue for the next week?
And at least, being S4th, it’ll be interesting, unlike JP where we could have a one-day party that starts as a Memorial Day storyline and winds up bobbing for apples on Halloween because the artists think we’re waiting with bated breath to read about every keystroke the characters have to type to get information that’s *already* being shown to the readers.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 28th, 2011 at 8:29 am [Reply]
for mollificent and the other Rocky fans.
for Dingo and other bear fans. (link is rather naughty, and may be not safe for sanity.)
The Daily Puppy is a Lab. squeee!
Stance of Sleeping, corgis do it too!
Rocky StoneaxeJune 28th, 2011 at 8:30 am [Reply]
The “joke” in today’s Archie is that Arch hasn’t changed his basic ensemble since 1941. (Feel free to weigh in, Fashion Police!)
MibbitmakerJune 28th, 2011 at 8:30 am [Reply]
A3G: LuAnn: “WHAT’S THAT HAIRY… RODENT THING… DIGGING OUT FROM THE MIDDLE OF MY CAKE?!?!!”
Crank: …And Ed continues his call.
FW: Les has a thing for women who give up way too easily. He knows it’s his only realistic chance!
GT: That’s Hobart’s “grr!” face.
Jocelyn KnockersburyJune 28th, 2011 at 8:31 am [Reply]
MT: There is clearly some kind of facial-hair-based hierarchy that I am too dim to understand.
word-doctorJune 28th, 2011 at 8:33 am [Reply]
Archie–Veronica, I (word-doctor) am a trained professional, and even I would not risk mixing tenses the way you do with your besotted beau.
Curtis–”Bloodtick”!
Phantom–Edison Lee, you’re turning into a superhero’s Ganymede, not his sidekick.
MyUsernamesMudJune 28th, 2011 at 8:34 am [Reply]
I love the combination of smug and wild-eyed terror in the final panel. Ditto just seems so pleased with himself that he got his dad to share the intimate details of his love life. Lois is probably just tweaked, and Ditto sounds like a million cockroaches.
Gloom RaiderJune 28th, 2011 at 8:34 am [Reply]
MW: I see great opportunities for Drew’s humiliation in the direction Mary’s going: [Two Weeks Later...] “I see it all now, Drew! I really just wanted to go to lawnmower repair school—I didn’t want you at all! I mean, at all. Jeez, what was I thinking?”
nescioJune 28th, 2011 at 8:36 am [Reply]
MT: “John, wait! Your forgot your sunglasses to wear at night!”
Luann: Maybe Brad could get a job as a pickpocket. I presume he’s responsible for the disappearance of TJ’s pockets after panel one.
S. StoutJune 28th, 2011 at 8:42 am [Reply]
H&L: The family has a ink black carpet in the living room and an ice skating rink in the kitchen. Dammit Ditto, now you’ve got me thinking about what their bedroom is like!
Luann: No B-wad, the hard task is finding a job to match your old one since you just loaf around all day. If Toni cares about you even slightly, she’d understand you got laid off.
Archie: When they started dating Veronica used to wear a bra. Time to go commando Archie!
Effluvius ErratusJune 28th, 2011 at 8:42 am [Reply]
MT: Holy shit! John Thrasher can run on air? Of course he can! He’s John Fucking Thrasher!
DoodJune 28th, 2011 at 8:43 am [Reply]
Apartment 3-G: “Oooh, the Linski List! Is that like Craigslist?”
Little Blue BicycleJune 28th, 2011 at 8:45 am [Reply]
Judge Parker, brought to you by Apple. Because product placement isn’t just for big-budget movies anymore.
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 28th, 2011 at 8:47 am [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#4): “for Dingo and other bear fans”
Were I preparing for the gig illustrated on that sign, I’d probably opt for the down-arrow cut rather than the simple vertical.
pugfugglyJune 28th, 2011 at 8:47 am [Reply]
A3G: “Oh Paul, stop teasing Luann, we only call her a groundhog behind her back….!”
MW: So are Mary and Liza flashing gang signs at each other? What’s going on there…?
MT: “THERE IS NO TO PROVE HIS INNOCENCE!” Spoken like a true backwoods lawman: he decides himself if there is any chance for an alleged criminal to defend himself, evidence be damned. And if not, well, no use spendin’ all that town money on a ‘trial’, then
Rocky StoneaxeJune 28th, 2011 at 8:48 am [Reply]
Baldo — Subbing for Tia Carmen today is Hindu God Shiva:
http://www.gocomics.com/baldo
CharterstonedJune 28th, 2011 at 8:48 am [Reply]
A3G – “The Linski List” is the latest thriller about a mother-son spy team who use code cakes to transmit messages via unwitting moles. LuAnn is only the latest dupe in a long list of “honorees” who have helped to further the ends of this dangerous duo. But what message does she carry, and whose life will now be placed in jeopardy when LuAnn blows out the candle? Find out in “The Linski List,” this summer’s blockbuster sequel to “The Baker’s Dozen.”
anonymousJune 28th, 2011 at 8:48 am [Reply]
Archie: If we dissect this strip, we can find the ‘joke’. let’s take it slowly….
1) “You used to dress so much better when we started dating”.
- They started dating 40 years ago. Archie dressed in the latest fashions of 40 years ago, looked great. 40 years ago, that is, he was well-dressed for that time in polo shirt and vest with a big R on it.
2) “I’m wearing the same clothes now as I did then!”
- Many years have passed. Archie is still wearing a polo shirt and vest with a big R on it. What was fashionable 40 years ago is NOT fashionable today, and he should be wearing clothes appropriate for 2011 – I dunno, a T-shirt with Transformers on it and baggy cargo man-pris?
3) “Exactly!” In response to I’m-still-wearing-40 year old-fashions. What was the bomb back when they started dating, when he was considered a snappy dresser, has not aged well. NOW he looks like an old fashioned dufus who never updated or stayed current.
He looked good 40 years ago in his preppy ensemble. Still wearing the preppy ensemble style today, he looks stupid, no longer looks good, and needs to update that wardrobe.
It’s like the boy who tells his girlfriend a joke, and she laughs, says he is SO funny. They get married. 40 years later he still tells her the same joke. She says, ‘you were so much funnier 40 years ago.” “But I’m telling you the same funny joke!” Exactly. Get a new joke. Get a new outfit.
Fini. I have wasted 10 minutes of my morning thrashing this out, and it was fun – you’re welcome!
Scott BotJune 28th, 2011 at 8:49 am [Reply]
Luann – I don’t see why TJ’s idea wouldn’t work. After all, that’s pretty much what Brad did anyway. Only difference now is that he won’t get paid for it.
bourbon babe, unbuckledJune 28th, 2011 at 8:55 am [Reply]
MT: Or, “John, come back! I know you’re innocent. Or at least you were innocent, until our night of passionate cave-love. Sheriff, let me go after him!”
JP: Why do I suspect that Wilson is using today’s strip to display his entire tech vocabulary?
A3G: Haha! It’s funny because Mrs. Linski already realizes that Luann is a moron who will believe anything!
MW: I can tell you this much: Liza’s true passion involves her nose.
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 28th, 2011 at 8:57 am [Reply]
H&L: Hey. “The Peanut-Butter-and-Jelly Marriage”. Goddam, I think there might be a book in that. Maybe a whole series. “Seniors: Transforming Your Prunes Into Plums”…
Scott BotJune 28th, 2011 at 9:01 am [Reply]
@wossname (#2): Re Archie, I think the alleged joke is that Archie hasn’t changed his clothes in 50 years. So they’re yucky. Not one of the AJLGU-3000’s better efforts.
Remember, the latest strips are coming from the mid-eighties, when Archie Incorporated was still using the AJLGU-1000. That was a much less sophisticated joke-generating computer than the AJLGU-3000, so the jokes occasionally made no sense.
DennisJune 28th, 2011 at 9:02 am [Reply]
H&L: Peanut Butter and Jelly were Hi & Lois’ stage names whne they worked the burlesque circuit. It went well until the combination of pasties and food were banned in whatever state they live in.
Dennis JimenezJune 28th, 2011 at 9:05 am [Reply]
Archie – Hey, Archie – Doonsbury phoned – he wants his sweater vest back….
A3G – I want one that looks like Ziggy’s face….
JP – Just press the “Any Key” – ah, yes, tasty product placement….
H&L – Why use expensive olive oil, when Wesson works just fine???
Adios Amigos, DJ.
DoodJune 28th, 2011 at 9:06 am [Reply]
@Dennis (#25): Didn’t Peanut Butter and Jelly open for Gail Martin during the “30 Years of One-Night Stands” concert tour?
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 28th, 2011 at 9:07 am [Reply]
Luann: OMG Luann got a birthday cake with her face on it OMG!
DoodJune 28th, 2011 at 9:12 am [Reply]
Judge Parker: Whoa, check out that bust in the first panel! No, not over there. I mean the sculpture, on the left.
RangerJune 28th, 2011 at 9:15 am [Reply]
Curtis: Wow Billingsley. This joke was much funnier when Amend did it in FoxTrot in the 90’s.
Pseudo3DJune 28th, 2011 at 9:15 am [Reply]
Curtis – FoxTrot used this gag years ago, and it wasn’t funny the first time.
DT – For those curious, Honeymoon was born on the Moon with her mother being Moon Maid (don’t ask) and uses a wig that hides her antennae. She also has magnetic hands.
FC – Go on Jeffy, kick the ladder.
FW – Gee, how convenient! Susan was already on her way out anyway, so now Les doesn’t have to feel guilty.
MT – Sheriff there has a point. Kicking someone in the nuts isn’t a good way to say “I’m innocent”
MarkJune 28th, 2011 at 9:17 am [Reply]
When they make the Luann movie (and you know they will), TJ will be played by C. Thomas Howell in his Soul Man make-up.
Scott BotJune 28th, 2011 at 9:19 am [Reply]
Pluggers – Hey, wait a minute – I thought this Plugger had his priorities straight:
http://www.gocomics.com/pluggers/2011/06/26
I’m very disappointed at this Pluggers lack of resolve.
Calvin's Cardboard BoxJune 28th, 2011 at 9:20 am [Reply]
JP – THRILL!!! As Katherine acknowledges that she is on speaker phone!
MARVEL!! While Sophie emails a link to a webcam!!!
GOGGLE!!! As Katherine ‘logs in’ using the link!!
And now, our mystic powers peer into the very future of time itself….
Wed JP – Stand by in amazement! As Katherine downloads the webcam software!
Thu JP – Learn!! While she scans the download for viruses!!
Fri JP – Casually glance at the artwork!!! While she reboots Windows.
Sat JP – Realize you’ve forgotten why they are doing all this in the first place!!
Sun JP – Recap!!! As you remember that you didn’t care about the “main” story on the rooftop, much less the week spent with other observers discussing the details of how they are following the main story…
June 28th, 2011 at 9:20 am [Reply]
I think the artists in Apartment 3G only vaguely understand the concept of a ‘birthday’ cake, what with the massive, single, taper-style candle burning in the middle of the cake for hours while the attendants at the party have a conversation and ignore it.
Mitchel AhernJune 28th, 2011 at 9:22 am [Reply]
Wait a minute Abby, I’m getting a Tweet on my Pager!
DoodJune 28th, 2011 at 9:25 am [Reply]
Pluggers: “And make sure you mark our territory.”
Doctor HandsomeJune 28th, 2011 at 9:25 am [Reply]
@anonymous (#20): I was with you until you compared Archie’s fashion sense to his sense of humor. The latter was shitty 70 years ago, too.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 28th, 2011 at 9:26 am [Reply]
@Dennis (#25): ‘it’s a family act. . . . ‘
FaoladhJune 28th, 2011 at 9:27 am [Reply]
The sheriff is probably right. Anyone who can fly away across the countryside, like John is doing in panel one, is probably in league with the Devil, so can hardly be said to be “innocent”.
Doctor HandsomeJune 28th, 2011 at 9:27 am [Reply]
Yeah, 70. Archie has existed for 70 fucking years.
Dennis JimenezJune 28th, 2011 at 9:28 am [Reply]
@Dood (#29): Tremendous titters….
SequiturJune 28th, 2011 at 9:29 am [Reply]
Luann: Brad will end up at law enforcement school with Dirk.
LiamJune 28th, 2011 at 9:29 am [Reply]
A3G-Groundhog Day Cake? Why would you need a receipe for something like that? I am hoping that in is in the shape of a groundhog instead of made with ground up drifters which she calls groundhogs.
MW-It is at this point Mary will convince Liza to become an Amway salesman.
MT-Horray! Mark is going to be spending another three days deep in John’s cave away from his and that little person that she says is their child.
Popeye-This storyline takes the concept of getting things past the radar and completely destroys the radar. There isn’t even a radar anymore just smoking wreckage where the radar used to be.
seismic-2June 28th, 2011 at 9:30 am [Reply]
DT: Somehow, I always expected that Dick would finally meet his maker in a blazing gunfight in the line of duty, not on a boring phone call to check on his copyright.
Popeye: So Mark Trail is an Oid? Considering what Oids are, this explains so much.
A3G: Now I’m wondering how they actually do observe Ground Hog’s Day, in A3G-land. I’m envisioning a mash-up with the Bill Murray movie, where the same day just repeats itself over and over, and everyone just goes through the motions without every really accompl… Oh, wait…
Reynolds Unwrapped does to Love Is exactly what should be done to Love Is.
Doctor HandsomeJune 28th, 2011 at 9:32 am [Reply]
“This is amazing! I can’t remember the last time I had a birthday cake!” It was a year ago, retard.
Doctor HandsomeJune 28th, 2011 at 9:37 am [Reply]
How do you get an email before you log in? “I’m totally listening to you on speakerphone! No way am I just humoring you while I play Farmville!”
Doctor HandsomeJune 28th, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]
Lady, Lu Ann would have had no idea she was being teased if you hadn’t drawn attention to it.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 28th, 2011 at 9:42 am [Reply]
ok folks, I haz made a LOL:
Love Is. . . .
enjoy.
SequiturJune 28th, 2011 at 9:46 am [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#49): Way to go. If you cross your eyes while you look at it, it becomes 3-D.
word-doctorJune 28th, 2011 at 9:49 am [Reply]
@Pseudo3D (#31):
“Sheriff there has a point. Kicking someone in the nuts isn’t a good way to say ‘I’m innocent’”. Bonus points because I imagined Gabby Hayes saying this.
Naked Bunny with a WhipJune 28th, 2011 at 9:49 am [Reply]
Is jelly a spermicide? Because bread doesn’t make a very good condom, believe me.
JonnJune 28th, 2011 at 9:50 am [Reply]
I like that except for the classic bowtie, Archie’s outfit is still stylish. Or maybe it’s stylish again. If he had a bowtie, it would be hipster-stylish.
Archie Comics: Always on the cutting edge.
PozzoJune 28th, 2011 at 9:50 am [Reply]
Does that Lois occasionally goes the Reese’s route and gets a little chocolate in her peanut butter?
Doctor HandsomeJune 28th, 2011 at 9:51 am [Reply]
I’m going to give Hi and Lois a pass today just for not having Ditto misinterpret “complement” as “compliment,” Keane-style. He actually understood What Hi was saying perfectly. Wait, now that I think about it, where the fuck is the joke here?
PozzoJune 28th, 2011 at 9:51 am [Reply]
Make that — “Does Hi know that Lois occasionally goes the Reese’s route and gets a little chocolate in her peanut butter?
SequiturJune 28th, 2011 at 9:54 am [Reply]
@word-doctor (#51): Careful. Just like Baka Gaijin has a phobia about clowns, I have one for Gabby Hayes. At least I don’t have to worry about running into Gabby Hayes because he’s dead.
forgotJune 28th, 2011 at 9:58 am [Reply]
maybe archie hasnt done laundry for years and years wearing the same shirt
Richard CraniumJune 28th, 2011 at 9:59 am [Reply]
I think that perhaps the Archie joke is that he’s been wearing the exact same clothes without a wash since they started dating, which would explain Veronica holding her hand over her mouth in revulsion. I mean, I’m sure there have been discussions in the past about what Jughead’s crown hat must smell like by now…
twgJune 28th, 2011 at 9:59 am [Reply]
@Mark (#32):
Thank you for that. Sincerely. Slow clap for you.
UncleJeffJune 28th, 2011 at 10:00 am [Reply]
All Archie has to do is remove his “R” and claim he’s making an ironic commentary on a certain college football coach.
But let’s be happy: at least Archie has abandoned the raccoon coat and fedora-with-the-turned-up-brim look he had when he started being a teenager.
June 28th, 2011 at 10:00 am [Reply]
@forgot (#59) and @Richard Cranium (#60): That was my interpretation too.
Also – Unca Lumpy! Big huge unamusing spam at 58!
Esther BlodgettJune 28th, 2011 at 10:02 am [Reply]
MT: What is that strange word in Mark’s speech balloon? The one with the punctuation mark in the middle of all the letters? It appears to be some attempt to combine two words into one – to contract them, if you will. Dammit, we have a serious situation here, what with the mountain man running amok and the sheriff making a tiny fist. This is no time to lapse into hipster slang, Mark Trail!
Esther BlodgettJune 28th, 2011 at 10:03 am [Reply]
@sdfwe (#58): “Sunglass $15″
If I want a pair, will it cost $30?
Scott BotJune 28th, 2011 at 10:04 am [Reply]
FW – Note to Batiuk: Overlapping dialogue works well in television or film, because you can have two people talking at the same time, they both can be understood, and if it’s done well, it can really make a statement about the awkwardness of the situation.
In print, however, it’s just confusing and looks like you don’t know what the hell you’re doing.
Esther BlodgettJune 28th, 2011 at 10:13 am [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#66): “In print, however, it’s just confusing and looks like you don’t know what the hell you’re doing your main character is an insufferable douchebag no matter what he’s saying.”
Fixed that for ya. ;)
Scott BotJune 28th, 2011 at 10:17 am [Reply]
@Esther Blodgett (#67): Thankies, I like your version a whole lot better. :)
Mark BJune 28th, 2011 at 10:22 am [Reply]
Batiuk @Scott Bot (#66): Batiuk isn’t Mamet. He’s not even the guy you sat next to in high school english class who drew pictures of boobies and daydreamed while the teacher talked (that guy is McElcowney). He can’t pull off that kind of dialogue.
LawyerbobJune 28th, 2011 at 10:24 am [Reply]
A3G: Luann can’t remember the last time she had a birthday cake because she can’t remember the last time anyone remembered her birthday. Margo and Tommie forget about her existence for weeks on end–if she dropped dead in the living room, they would just step over the body while wondering what that smell was.
JP: Tomorrow: Skype!
Bill ThompsonJune 28th, 2011 at 10:32 am [Reply]
Old School Allie Cat (y#321): That last sentence in A3G baffled me, too. “Chocolate Groundhog Day Cakes.” Is ground hog anything like ground beef? Are day cakes a new kind of pastry? Are chocolate groundhogs on the endangered species list? Is it the kind of cake where a scantily-clad groundhog jumps out of the cake to celebrate Groundhog Day? Is it–is it–
Ctrl+Alt+Del! It’s like A3G planned to trap curmudgeons in an endless logic loop. Except, has the strip ever shown that much cleverness before?
Comcis FanJune 28th, 2011 at 10:33 am [Reply]
A3G: I don’t follow this strip, but isn’t Paul actually teasing his mother, not the girlfriend? Have you been in that annoying situation where two people are using you as a prop in their own teasing/kidding/flirting? It seems like they’re joking with you but you could be the pet cat for all they care? You A3G fans tell me, shouldn’t the girl — Luann, is she? — shouldn’t she be running about now?
cheech wizardJune 28th, 2011 at 10:33 am [Reply]
@Walker of Dog (y#197): I’m not an expert on the solar plexus. I’m an expert on kicking people (and lizards) in da balls.
Bill ThompsonJune 28th, 2011 at 10:35 am [Reply]
Uncle Lumpy, there’s once again spam at the ends of the last two threads. The spammer is very determined.
wossnameJune 28th, 2011 at 10:37 am [Reply]
@Comcis Fan (#72): As a non-A3G reader, you are assuming a level of understanding of human nature that is far, far beyond anything Luann has ever imagined. Her next line is probably “I like chocolate! But vanilla is also good.”
SequiturJune 28th, 2011 at 10:37 am [Reply]
@cheech wizard (#73): Lizard balls are best served with salmon squares.
Chip WhittleJune 28th, 2011 at 10:43 am [Reply]
I’m just not sure how I feel about Lu Ann having licked Ziggy’s face clean off.
SequiturJune 28th, 2011 at 10:43 am [Reply]
Wow! Philosophical (and at some quantum level, metaphysical) discussions of Lu Ann and A3G. Whoda thunk it?
Oh, and groundhog cake can be served with lizard balls and salmon squares.
Rocky StoneaxeJune 28th, 2011 at 10:48 am [Reply]
@sdfwe (#58):
hey, you have posted such a effectful article that it will certainly help me.
Dennis JimenezJune 28th, 2011 at 10:49 am [Reply]
@Sequitur (#76): I thought they also went well with fish rectums – aka Spagetti-Os….
Doctor HandsomeJune 28th, 2011 at 10:50 am [Reply]
I can still never get used to the fucked-up way Batiuk renders the letter “L,” all wavy on the bottom so it looks like a lower-case “H.” Get a ruler, shithead! And use it on your characters’ eyelids and mouths while you’re at it, so they don’t always look like narcoleptic smirking twats, regardless of the situation.
cheech wizardJune 28th, 2011 at 10:51 am [Reply]
JP – The jagged lightning bolt separating the last two panels is an outdated relic of the TV and radio era – it should be a series of 0’s and 1’s.
Plus, Katherine is looking pretty pissed off to find her husband involved with another woman on his business trip. Or maybe she’s just logging in as the Judge is getting to the part where, in an effort to establish a rapport with suicide girl, he’s telling her all the things that are wrong with his marriage.
cheech wizardJune 28th, 2011 at 10:52 am [Reply]
@Sequitur (#75): Mashed lizard balls, yes.
SequiturJune 28th, 2011 at 10:52 am [Reply]
@Dennis Jimenez (#79): Eat them up, yum!
U.L. removed spam. Numbers off.
CalicoJune 28th, 2011 at 10:53 am [Reply]
@Bill Thompson (#70):
The cakes remind of the stilted prose in the phrase “Full boat wrestling scholarship.” Those boats are pretty tough on the mat!
June 28th, 2011 at 10:54 am [Reply]
A3G: Wasn’t it Mrs. Linski who insisted on taking pics of LuAnn and Paul? Please, please don’t let Paul be Luann’s psychically predicted true love. Mrs. Linski would always be all in their business (think Marie on “Everybody Loves Raymond”) and besides, Paul and LuAnn are clearly fraternal twins separated at birth. Not a good genetic mix if htey are thinking of having kiddos.
GregJune 28th, 2011 at 10:54 am [Reply]
H&L: Are we missing the third panel where the kid slips on the immaculately polished floor of the stadium-sized kitchen and breaks his coccyx? Someone please tell me we’re missing that panel.
Scott BotJune 28th, 2011 at 10:55 am [Reply]
BB – Aw, this ain’t right. Lieutenant Fuzz should be able to do whatever he wants to his pubic hair.
Doctor HandsomeJune 28th, 2011 at 10:55 am [Reply]
@Esther Blodgett (#64): Yes, but the frames are where they really get ya.
CalicoJune 28th, 2011 at 10:56 am [Reply]
@Sequitur (#77):
Wouldn’t “Ground Hog Cake” equal head cheese?
So that’s what Ziggy’s hideous cake was made of – ground up meat by-products.
Ugh, I have to go throw up now.
June 28th, 2011 at 10:57 am [Reply]
@Doctor Handsome (#41): There’s a concept – the Archie gang as octogenarians. Only with Betty and Veronica as two of the shriveled widows who are pursuing Archie at the nursing home because he’s one of the few surviving males left.
CalicoJune 28th, 2011 at 10:58 am [Reply]
@Calico (#89):
No wonder the cat and dog were so damn interested.
June 28th, 2011 at 10:58 am [Reply]
A3G: So, is Mom saying the cake is a lie? (I hope so; A3G could benefit from an insane artificial intelligence or two…)
9CL: They have psychiatric wards for this sort of thing, you know…
C’shaft: Oh goody, a “Crankshaft really does care about people despite the overwhelming evidence that he hates everyone and everything” plot. Can’t we have a grill explosion or a string of malapropisms instead?
FW: It’s okay, Les, you’ve made your token protest. You can go back to basking in the certain knowledge that the world revolves around you now.
Luann: Because being honest about a situation that isn’t your fault and any relatively sane human being would understand is not an option, I guess. Brad is the idiot Idiot Plots were designed for.
MT: Hey, a stubby baby hand! Haven’t seen one of those sing Locher retired.
MW: Uh-oh, Mary’s looking for a Sith apprentice…
SM: So, it’s just like every other night with newspaper Spidey, huh?
Scott BotJune 28th, 2011 at 11:00 am [Reply]
@Doctor Handsome (#80): I can still never get used to the fucked-up way Batiuk renders the letter “L,” all wavy on the bottom so it looks like a lower-case “H.” everything he draws or writes.
Fixed it for ya.
Rocky StoneaxeJune 28th, 2011 at 11:05 am [Reply]
@Sequitur (#57):
Just like Baka Gaijin has a phobia about clowns, I have one for Gabby Hayes.
I, too, have a “Gabby” phobia:
http://www.favoritecartoons.com/thumbs/B/W/BWlcOYOs4-M.jpg
(Can’t stand the little guy — I wish he were dead, dead, DEAD!)
Ivar Ragnarsson the BerserkerJune 28th, 2011 at 11:07 am [Reply]
Folks, the good people over at Hagar the Horrible have made a pun today, and it’s a real knee-slapper! “Knight” and “night” – yageddit? How do they come up with this stuff?
Plus, Ol’ Hagar drank his ale in one gulp, then ate the mug! Whoa, slow down there, mister – save some room for the blood of your enemies!
But seriously, it’s nice that everyone can share a laugh and wet their whistles before Hagar’s sword finds a gap in that other fella’s armor and plunges right in. Break time’s over, boys!
Edgy DCJune 28th, 2011 at 11:08 am [Reply]
Even by Judge Parker standards, Katherine is big shot player, she’s got three degrees, a carved desk, an enormous chair, a bust that gives her access to the batcave. Of course, Abbey, has a bust that gives her access to everywhere else.
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 28th, 2011 at 11:17 am [Reply]
Dennis – “Didn’t your mom ever teach you about ‘inside voices,’ Mr. Wilson?”
“Inside voices” are the voices inside Mr. Wilson’s head whenever Dennis is around. Resisting their crooning invitation to kill the child is what causes the sweat to bead on his forehead. Listen to them, George. Listen to your ‘inside voices.’ [Gaaah! wossname @2]
Dick – At least somebody in this world is still in touch with Mr. Gould.
Mark – To avoid being arrested for a crime he didn’t commit, John commits a crime. And, this just in, Sheriff says something halfway intelligent!
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 28th, 2011 at 11:19 am [Reply]
Rx – Listen to those two bickering! You just know they’ll be married before the end of the movie.
Ziggy captions (cont’d) – “It took so long to make it, and I’ll never have that recipe again.”
@Mr. O’Malley (#y313): I’ve been told to log into webcams. (Not THAT kind of webcams. These were outside ones at buildings and stuff.)
By the way, I’ll be going to China for a couple of weeks, starting on Friday. We’ll be stopping briefly in some airport in Japan and I’ll get to see some real Japanese vending machines. Anyway, I may be kinda scarce for a while, but it’s not because I don’t love you all any more. Quite the opposite; absence will surely make my heart grow fonder.
Alan's AddictionJune 28th, 2011 at 11:20 am [Reply]
I was too distracted by Archie’s fashionable hairstyle to look at his clothes. How often do you see obviously cross-hatched hair? To answer that, we must first ask another question, which is, when was the last time you saw hair in a plaid pattern? And that thought makes this strip great; it’s no longer about a moron who’s being chased by women way hotter and nicer than he deserves; it’s about a boy who overcomes having a head like a kilt to become popular with the ladies.
I’d love to imagine that the “Linski list” mentioned in today’s A3G is like a sinister, nefarious version of “Schindler’s list,” or possibly Nixon’s “Enemies list.” Namely, the “Linski list” contains all the names of people that the Linskis will poison with cake and then bury in a shallow grave in the back yard. I like this idea because it would drive Margo into a berserker rage (because if anyone’s going to murder her dull roommates, it’s her, by God). Also, pay attention to that single, lonely candle on the birthday cake, indicating that Luann is either one year old (which would explain a lot), or it’s there for her only IQ point (which would also explain a lot).
I think “Judge Parker” needs a slogan, based on today’s strip. “Judge Parker: All the same old, boring stuff you do, but with pretty ladies doing it. Please read us; dear God, the publishing syndicate has our children, and we’re out of good ideas!”
I LOVE the thought behind today’s punchline of “Hi and Lois.” In fact, if we turn it into a Gump-ism, it totally captures the strip’s essence. “Momma, your marriage is like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich; two blandly sweet flavors mixed together and overpowered by whitebread.”
June 28th, 2011 at 11:21 am [Reply]
@Calico (#89): Ziggy’s cake was made from broken dreams and unfulfilled promises and head cheese.
commodorejohnJune 28th, 2011 at 11:21 am [Reply]
A3G – “Oh, Paul, stop teasing Lu Ann, and help me cut the Irish Civil War Day cake!”
Bizarro – A few million? Hell, we haven’t even hit one yet!
Crock – God help me, I laughed at Crock today.
DT – “Glad to! Crimefighting runs in the family. Besides, I haven’t ‘accidentally’ murdered a perp in like three months. I’m getting out of practice!” [*] [*]
FW – Oh look, Batiuk’s managed to come up with a visual quirk that’s as retarded as this plot development!
JP – Logging into the email? Start the Mission: Impossible theme! The readers are on the edge of their seats, their minds ablaze with only one question: Apple Mail, or GMail in Safari?
Lockhorns – Is that Les Moore behind the counter? HALLE-FUCKIN’-LUJAH! Bet you regret smarmily abusing service personnel now, eh? Oh who am I kidding, there’s no way you’d ever experience remorse. This is probably just another chapter in your great martyr’s history, isn’t it?
MT – “To avoid being arrested for a crime he didn’t commit, John runs from the sheriff. Today, still wanted by the government, he survives as a soldier of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find him, maybe you can hire… the J-Team.”
MW – Given Mary’s general attitudes, I’m guessing Liza’s “true passion” will turn out to be something along the lines of “brood mare.”
Popeye – Okay, we’ve wrapped around from subtext to text to supertext and back around through subtext to text what, eleven times now?
SM – Say, uh, Big Boss? You do realize that unless it’s a sex scandal, nobody even cares anymore? Just thought you might want to know.
Rocky StoneaxeJune 28th, 2011 at 11:25 am [Reply]
Lockhorns — The part of barista is being played by FW’s Les Moore:
http://www.jsonline.com/comics/32402404.html?feature_id=Lockhorns
IrischanoJune 28th, 2011 at 11:25 am [Reply]
Paul should’ve known better than to just put that single candle on the cake. Lu Ann probably thinks she’s turning 1.
Mark BJune 28th, 2011 at 11:26 am [Reply]
I’m just imagining an internet hit called “Chocolate Groundhog Day.”
It’s Chocolate Groudhog Day
Just like yesterday
It’s such a price to pay
on such an auspicious day!
Oh, the skies are gray
And there are no shadows
Punxatawney Phil won’t come out and play
Because nothing grows
On Chocolate Groundhog Day
Sorry for the complete lack of meter, and crummy rhymes. I’d rewatch Chocolate Rain again, but I don’t hate myself that much right now.
Mark BJune 28th, 2011 at 11:30 am [Reply]
MW: Don’t worry Liza, being a stalker is good training for a career in sales. Especially enterprise software, or maybe pharmaceuticals.
TheDivaJune 28th, 2011 at 11:35 am [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#101): Spin-offs tend to be chancy enterprises, but I would totally be on board with a “J-Team” comic.
@Mark B (#105): I think Liza’s already found a job as this site’s latest spambot.
Scott BotJune 28th, 2011 at 11:36 am [Reply]
@Mark B (#104):
It’s Groundhog Day, Groundhog Day
Gonna get down on Groundhog Day
Everybody’s looking forward to seeing their shadow.
June 28th, 2011 at 11:38 am [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#107): You forgot your bowl of cereal.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 28th, 2011 at 11:38 am [Reply]
o hay! How do we know why Dustbin is award winning humor at it’s finest?!?
GOLF JOKES!!!!
even better, GOLF MAGAZINE JOKES!!!
*Please* someone burn down the studio of these hacks, and get My Cage back. >.<
Walker of DogJune 28th, 2011 at 11:39 am [Reply]
@Irischano (#103): : “I’m one year old? And already out of diapers – I’m a child progdidy!”
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 28th, 2011 at 11:39 am [Reply]
@Irischano (#103): that’s right, LuAnn, cuz you were born on a Leap Day!”
“OH!” *blink* *blink*
WillJune 28th, 2011 at 11:41 am [Reply]
Luann: Didn’t Toni and Brad work at the same station? She’s bound to notice he’s not on the roster next time she goes in. And even if she’s at another station, the grapevine should get her all caught up in short order anyhow.
Walker of DogJune 28th, 2011 at 11:41 am [Reply]
JP: Poor Sophie cowers over the keyboard, laboring under the watchful scowl of Abbey’s domineering breasts.
FC: The children don’t cast shadows. Another piece of the puzzle…
GT: A tongue-lashing AND a gigantic wet willy? Face it, Hobart, you’ve been eased up.
Plug: Somebody get that he-Plugger a pair of Neuticles.
9CL: Is this part of some secret U.N. population-control program to put people off sex?
Scott BotJune 28th, 2011 at 11:42 am [Reply]
@Mark B (#108): Good point, although I’m still not sure whether I want to be kickin’ in the front seat or the back seat.
seismic-2June 28th, 2011 at 11:43 am [Reply]
@Mark B (#104): Pennsylvanians don’t observe Chocolate Groundhog Day in Punxatawney. In Hershey, however, it’s a whole other story.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 28th, 2011 at 11:48 am [Reply]
if the A3G girls were dogs, Margo would be a Rottie, Tommie an Irish Setter, and LuAnn a Maltese that barks at the pottery squirrels next to the back door.
just saying.
Vince MJune 28th, 2011 at 11:49 am [Reply]
@Jonn (#53): Stylish in a Dean Venture kind of way.
ElkMeadowJune 28th, 2011 at 11:49 am [Reply]
@CanuckDownSouth (#3):
And at least, being S4th, it’ll be interesting, unlike JP where we could have a one-day party that starts as a Memorial Day storyline and winds up bobbing for apples on Halloween because the artists think we’re waiting with bated breath to read about every keystroke the characters have to type to get information that’s *already* being shown to the readers.
You know Berna won the lottery, don’t you?
anonymousJune 28th, 2011 at 11:53 am [Reply]
@Doctor Handsome (#41):
70 years??? You may be right, I think I remember raccoon coats, football pennants, and a 1930’s roadster. In the Archie comics, not my real life! 23 skidoo. The artiste ought to stick with that and not try to update the un-updateable. Give the oldsters out there a flash of nostalgia.
cheech wizardJune 28th, 2011 at 11:55 am [Reply]
A3G – Ditzy LuAnn fails to grasp the significance of the single candle on her cake – but that’s what happens when you were born yesterday.
cheech wizardJune 28th, 2011 at 11:55 am [Reply]
@anonymous (#119): Yep. When I was a kid, Archie’s jalopy still had a hand crank starter.
ElkMeadowJune 28th, 2011 at 11:56 am [Reply]
@Sequitur (#57): Gabby Hayes:
SequiturJune 28th, 2011 at 12:05 pm [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#122): Recycled Gabby Hayes.
I think Rusty is Gabby Hayes as a child. He grew them whiskers as a rebellion against Mark.
AnonymousJune 28th, 2011 at 12:07 pm [Reply]
Archie hasn’t washed his clothes in decades.
bats :[June 28th, 2011 at 12:09 pm [Reply]
@Doctor Handsome (#46): *snert*
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#49): it is an LOL, but it iz also Mistry of Agez…
Heh. Heh. What can I say?
seismic-2June 28th, 2011 at 12:09 pm [Reply]
MG: Perhaps Liza’s poor job performance is due largely to her addition to cocaine, which is so severe that it has eaten a hole not only through her mucus membrane but all the way through the cartilage in her nose, and she is forced to plug it with her finger in order to breathe.
Bill ThompsonJune 28th, 2011 at 12:10 pm [Reply]
Pluggers: “Bitch, bitch, bitch,” he thinks, although it’s unclear which part of speech each word represents. But now we know why plugger males try to marry outside their species.
Red GreenbackJune 28th, 2011 at 12:13 pm [Reply]
A3-G: Another one for the Linski List.
Walker of DogJune 28th, 2011 at 12:16 pm [Reply]
MW: Could Liza’s true passion be nose-piercing?
RMMD: Rex exhibits a compassionate bedside manner, kissing Joe’s precious, microcephalic head. “Pud’n, how about some juice and toast?”
Phan: “Wow, praise from Caesar. Thanks a lot, dork.”
MT: Mark: “In the meantime, you should get that lump checked. Feels like one of your testicles got kicked up into your chest cavity. Whatever a testicle is.”
wossnameJune 28th, 2011 at 12:18 pm [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#97): Re DtM and Mr. Wilson’s inner voices – Ah, but your version was better! I had to stifle the impulse to point out didactically that he meant to say “indoor” voice.
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 28th, 2011 at 12:20 pm [Reply]
@Alan’s Addiction (#99): “I was too distracted by Archie’s fashionable hairstyle to look at his clothes. How often do you see obviously cross-hatched hair? To answer that, we must first ask another question, which is, when was the last time you saw hair in a plaid pattern?”
Veronica’s black and white argyle is quite the sockdolager too.
Scott BotJune 28th, 2011 at 12:23 pm [Reply]
MW – It’s no wonder Liza is having a difficult time dealing with her nursing duties since, judging by the artwork in today’s strip, this is a woman that cannot even successfully pick her nose, much less care for patients.
bats :[June 28th, 2011 at 12:25 pm [Reply]
@Red Greenback (#128): yep, the coincidence was astounding.
Effluvius ErratusJune 28th, 2011 at 12:37 pm [Reply]
Some questions…
Momma: Is Francis bisexual or simply bi-curious?
RxMD: Since when does Rex have beds in his clinic? What kind of clinic is this?
seismic-2June 28th, 2011 at 12:39 pm [Reply]
@Jonn (#53): Perhaps Archie did lose one of his classic defining features when he stopped wearing the bow tie. Fortunately, Betty’s and Veronica’s defining features are both still intact.
yo go reJune 28th, 2011 at 12:40 pm [Reply]
How much ground groundhog could a groundhog hog if a groundhog could hog ground groundhog?
DoodJune 28th, 2011 at 12:49 pm [Reply]
Apartment 3-G: Lu Ann’s finally got a cake. However, Margo will always have the bun.
Rocky StoneaxeJune 28th, 2011 at 12:50 pm [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#122), @Sequitur (#123):
I’m more frightened of “Windy” Wales and his fondness for fried beans:
http://www.originaloldradio.com/don_knotts.jpg
(Don Knotts played “Windy” on the Bobby Benson radio show!)
Joe, the Upper-Evergreen GuyJune 28th, 2011 at 12:51 pm [Reply]
Crank: With all the teen flashmob violence going on these days, Crank could have been correct about thinking he was going to be attacked………but I doubt the attackers would be wearing graduation robes.
Dilbert: Oh, I get it……Alice is inferring that since Dilbert is still around and not on vacation, that he’s worthless. Excuse me while I laugh………ha. ha. ha. Good one, Adams.
FC: “Let’s play a new game. It’s called: ‘Throw Jeffy over the house’!”
FW: It seems that everyone is very happy that Susan has resigned…..even Susan!
Luann: What was that Mr. DeGroot said a few days ago about TJ being secretly rich??
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 28th, 2011 at 12:53 pm [Reply]
something happened last evening that hasn’t happened in Luann for decades.
Aaron Hill made it to second base.
Baka GaijinJune 28th, 2011 at 12:58 pm [Reply]
@Sequitur (#57): Lucky you.
@Dennis Jimenez (#79): I should have expected as much.
@Jessy (#85): LuAnn thinks babies are delivered by storks to the nearest cabbage patch.
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#98): Baka’s Narita Travel Tip-Avoid the siren call of mochi lest you choke on its bland stickiness. Bonus Tip: It’s not a trip to Tokyo without Tokyo Banana.
@Walker of Dog (#113): “Poor Sophie cowers over the keyboard, laboring under the watchful scowl of Abbey’s domineering breasts.” How do I sign up for that gig?
DoodJune 28th, 2011 at 1:01 pm [Reply]
Judge Parker: “Sophie just e-mailed you the link. Do you have it?”
“Got it…I’m logging in now. OMG! Those corgis are soooo cute!”
cheech wizardJune 28th, 2011 at 1:04 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#125): Hah! Thanks, bats!
DoodJune 28th, 2011 at 1:08 pm [Reply]
Judge Parker: “Sophie just e-mailed you the link. Do you have it?”
“Got it…I’m logging in now. OMG! Someone has to tell this Josh Fruhlinger that they’re real and spectacular.”
Rocky StoneaxeJune 28th, 2011 at 1:08 pm [Reply]
@seismic-2 (#135):
Fortunately, Betty’s and Veronica’s defining features are both still intact.
Different strokes and all that… because I preferred Veronica when she was more “filled out”:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_YG9OM4nlPhA/SIh_pCPfAwI/AAAAAAAAAkQ/-8BI4DGPEpc/s400/swiftpremium.jpg
DoodJune 28th, 2011 at 1:10 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#145): If her hair was in a bun, she’d look like Margo.
word-doctorJune 28th, 2011 at 1:16 pm [Reply]
@Ivar Ragnarsson the Berserker (#95):
SequiturJune 28th, 2011 at 1:18 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#145): I guess that ad was made back when you could show your weiner.
word-doctorJune 28th, 2011 at 1:18 pm [Reply]
@word-doctor (#147):
Shoot: I accidently HREF’d my comment “Hmm… sensing an impending Game of Thrones/Hagar mashup”
Baka GaijinJune 28th, 2011 at 1:24 pm [Reply]
Dick Tracy: See how effortlessly he deflected work onto the kid? Sam Catchem’s hero is Wally from Dilbert.
Pluggers: OH NO! Not “cleaning the garage!”
Marvin: You’d better praise the stars you’re parents haven’t smothered you with a pillow and claimed SIDS.
Archie: Archie and Cyndi Lauper, separated at birth?
HyhybtJune 28th, 2011 at 1:25 pm [Reply]
Archie is much simpler: “clothes wear out.” If you wore the same clothes every day for several decades you wouldn’t be complemented on your dress either.
Old School Allie CatJune 28th, 2011 at 1:25 pm [Reply]
A3G – I don’t know about a chocolate groundhog cake, but once, for my dog Lola’s birthday, I used cocoa krispies and made a huge squirrel shaped rice krispie treat. Since it was chocolate, or at least “chocolatey” (one of the creepiest words in food packaging), she got a few milk bones and the rest of us ate birthday squirrel.
Baka GaijinJune 28th, 2011 at 1:26 pm [Reply]
Hazel: If this were FOOB, I can imagine the bitch storm in the morning.
Sans SenseJune 28th, 2011 at 1:27 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#145): Veronica as played by Linda Fiorentino… Woof!
PivitorJune 28th, 2011 at 1:28 pm [Reply]
Notice Archie says “I’m wearing the same clothes now that I did then!”
My guess is that he has literally never changed his clothes since the day Veronica first went out with him, too afraid that he’d lose Veronica if he did. After years of not bathing, the clothes are practically a second skin. Archie begins every morning by applying copious amounts of Axe Body Spray.
(The combination of the Axe and years of accumulated musk is also the only possible explanation why any girl would ever go out with Archie in the first place)
Sans SenseJune 28th, 2011 at 1:29 pm [Reply]
The Long and the Short of It: Archie, she’s just not that into you. All the rest is blah, blah, blah.
Baka GaijinJune 28th, 2011 at 1:31 pm [Reply]
@Old School Allie Cat (#152): Next office potluck, huge squirrel shaped Rice Krispie Treat. Rice Krispies aren’t well-known here, no less the squares.
CalicoJune 28th, 2011 at 1:34 pm [Reply]
Canada Day cake – made with pulverized Canada Post Union contracts, moose meat, and seal flippers, with maple syrup frosting.
Artist formerly known as BenJune 28th, 2011 at 1:36 pm [Reply]
A3G: Lu Ann is thinking about going vegetarian, so she’s not sure she can eat Mama Linski’s Groundhog Day Cake. She has serious questions about horseradish, too.
JP: Woody Wilson is just throwing random computer terms up there now and hoping they fit. “Okay, I’m buffering my zip drive. Let’s see if I can get a case-sensitve mp3.”
S-M: “A crime that trades on my unique ability. To chew an entire pack of wintergreen Lifesavers in the dark!”
9CL: Stay classy, Edda.
BB: There must be a missing panel of Lt Peachfuzz dropping his pants.
FC: “Speaking of balls over the house, you need to zip up, dad.”
Lockhorns: Evil Spock don’t listen to nobody’s problems, Leroy.
Ziggy: The parrot is waiting for the people onscreen to leave so the animals can start their orgy. Ziggy is, of course, waiting for the same thing.
GA: From the adorably misspelled “mortuwary” on the back of the cart, I see Joel and Rufus are already capitalizing on Boog’s presumed death. Born businessmen, these guys.
GT: “This insubordination really shrinks my mustache.”
Baldo: Tia Carmen’s “where to stick it” instructions are surprisingly elaborate. Either the other lady doesn’t know all the parts or this has turned into a seminar on laminating.
Popeye: Ever see something on your computer screen and have to take a little walk, then come back and look again just to make sure you weren’t mistaken the first time? Yeah, this is like that for me. It might not be wise to view tomorrow’s Popeye on a work computer, especially if the Oid’s need Olive to kiss them on the top of the head.
CalicoJune 28th, 2011 at 1:37 pm [Reply]
@Old School Allie Cat (#152):
At least where I am (QC), chocolate milk has to be called Chocolate Milk Drink.
I think this has been the case for a while-I saw the same thing in an old Knudsen’s ad on Lilek’s Regrettable Food site.
The stuff is sweet enough to make me want to buy a blood sugar monitor after tasting it.
June 28th, 2011 at 1:38 pm [Reply]
A3G – ‘My mom celebrates every possible holiday. Even something as insigificant as your birthday.’
cheech wizardJune 28th, 2011 at 1:39 pm [Reply]
9CL – Yesterday and today’s strips don’t look like Edda’s trying to keep Fernanda’s secret bottled up inside her. They look like she’s trying to pantomime the fact she was watching through the keyhole.
Old School Allie CatJune 28th, 2011 at 1:39 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#157): It occurs to me, I could make a cocoa krispie turkey for our Thanksgiving potluck. This strikes me as hilarious, for some reason. I could even make “dressing” using Cheerios or Golden Grahams…
Artist formerly known as BenJune 28th, 2011 at 1:40 pm [Reply]
@Old School Allie Cat (#152): That story brings a smile to my face. Sweet party.
Artist formerly known as BenJune 28th, 2011 at 1:51 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#133): The cake = pure evil
The mashup = sheer brilliance
June 28th, 2011 at 1:52 pm [Reply]
@Calico (#158): I see you have been watching Top Chef Canada, too.
Rocky StoneaxeJune 28th, 2011 at 2:15 pm [Reply]
@Old School Allie Cat (#152):
SQUIRREL!!
http://www.jsonline.com/comics/32402404.html?feature_id=Baby_Blues
bats :[June 28th, 2011 at 2:21 pm [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#134): Rex is making his (twice-yearly) hospital rounds, hence the beds.
Still, in the Good Auld Days, things *were* somewhat steamier in the office (scroll down to the third picture for an eyeful).
June 28th, 2011 at 2:26 pm [Reply]
Veronica’s demand seems reasonable given that she’s been dating Archie on and off for what, seventy years? I’m surprised that that shirt and pants haven’t fallen apart by now.
Scott BotJune 28th, 2011 at 2:29 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#168): If they had panels like that again, I might read RMMD a little more often.
DoodJune 28th, 2011 at 2:32 pm [Reply]
Apartment 3-G: Six words you do not want to hear: “You’re on the Linski List now.”
AnansiJune 28th, 2011 at 2:33 pm [Reply]
Spiderman- Is it me, or did anyone else imagine “Big Boss” having the voice of Vincent Price in the second panel?
Hair-HelmutJune 28th, 2011 at 2:34 pm [Reply]
I see Judge Parker has taken the pay-off that comes from inserting a corporate logo.
LiamJune 28th, 2011 at 2:41 pm [Reply]
MT-If Mark is chasing after John then how is he supposed to handle his responsibilties to his friends and family and responsibility of work. The same responsibilties that he says that John has been ducking.
Chip WhittleJune 28th, 2011 at 2:42 pm [Reply]
Mark Trail: The way Mark Trail holds back Sheriff Dumb and for the first time ever speaks a whole sentence without randomly emphasizing words makes me think we’ve seen a sudden personality shift and he’s becoming Mark Trail, Prince of Peace. Someday in the future despite the persecutions of the poacher classes he’ll ascend to the heavens, and rule in the Jackelrodbally trinity of the Father, Son, and Holy Goats.
I also like how the coloring of Mark Trail’s shirt screams “all-new Vega colors for 1971!”
Popeye: I really don’t want to think of cheap dirty jokes regarding the Oids, now, but…they’re an all-male group which finds the touch of women horrifying or poisonous? This is whole chapters of Personals sections snuck into the funny pages.
Safe Havens: An agent tried to sign up the dodos he believed, as per earlier strips, to be animatronic devices? Reeeeeeeeally?
Fashion PoliceJune 28th, 2011 at 2:43 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#y255):
We regret the delay in responding, but we belatedly suggest that the teacher in yesterday’s Jumble does indeed show class. Sadly, most of it is third.
June 28th, 2011 at 2:44 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#168):
I’ve always wanted to read this Rex Morgan comic:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_u4l-1H03DT4/TDM74PBFfvI/AAAAAAAAAeU/0XjUanHNoKw/s1600/heroin_propaganda_novel1.jpg
cheech wizardJune 28th, 2011 at 3:03 pm [Reply]
MW – “Then perhaps it’s time to consider what your true passion is!”
“Hello? It’s banging doctors. Aren’t you paying attention, you stupid witch? There are some really nice perks up front and the potential cha-ching! upside is right out of this world. What, you thought I was going to say something like looking after dirty Vietnamese orphans? Where’s the money in that?”
Phred22June 28th, 2011 at 3:08 pm [Reply]
SM: Great, with this and yesterday’s strip, we won’t have to read Spidey’s adventures for at least six weeks. We now know the Big Boss will humiliate our hero, then will appear to destroy him, but be thwarted when the crooks try to carry out the big crime. All us compulsive SM readers can take a nice little summer vacation.
DoodJune 28th, 2011 at 3:09 pm [Reply]
Hi and Lois: Hi and Lois’ marriage may be like a peanut butter sandwich, but their kitchen is definitely an ice-skating rink.
littlestevieJune 28th, 2011 at 3:21 pm [Reply]
@cheech wizard (#178): I think thats were Liza’s true passion lies as well. I keep thinking that Mary is going break into Eddie Murphy’s old SNL character, Velvet Jones. “Why Liza do you like lying around on your back all day? If yes you do, then you too can be a ho. Why don’t you pick up my book ‘How To Be A Ho.’”
Ned RyersonJune 28th, 2011 at 3:22 pm [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#159): I wanna play your Judge Parker tech game: “The address is in my fax queue. As soon as I can upload this server, I’ll try defragging that link with my application client. Oh no, looks like I’ll have to reallocate those binary bytes!”
Chip WhittleJune 28th, 2011 at 3:40 pm [Reply]
The Argyle Sweater: Uh, this is suggesting the Scarecrow and Tin Woodsman are a couple, right? I’m not reading it wrong?
Endtown: A mutagenic plague followed by a global war fought with disintegration weaponry has left much of the Earth a desert of fine powder and what remains of humanity fragmented into humans, animal-like mutants and bloodthirsty monsters with lots of teeth, but that doesn’t mean there’s not still a thriving camembert industry.
Flo and Friends: So why was Treggie doing a report on Popeye? (Cartoonists have heard of “summer vacation”, right?)
Get a Life! is totally in touch with the technology and the iPad and the Tweeter and Instant Googlefaceing that you kids are all the bee’s knees about, daddy-o.
This GuyJune 28th, 2011 at 3:41 pm [Reply]
R==R:
I wish I could go back to college
Life was much simpler back then
@yo go re (#136): Buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
Esther BlodgettJune 28th, 2011 at 3:44 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#168): The Mary Worth cover scared me! And is that Mark Trail smoking a pipe? If he tried that today, a giant beaver would slap it out of his mouth.
DoodJune 28th, 2011 at 3:48 pm [Reply]
@Ned Ryerson (#182): While Abbey aimlessly holds her TI-89 calculator to her ear.
cheech wizardJune 28th, 2011 at 3:49 pm [Reply]
H&L – New text for panel 2 – “Grab your ankles, mom. While dad’s away on business, he says I’m the man of the house.”
ArchieNemesisJune 28th, 2011 at 3:50 pm [Reply]
MT: I’m pleased to report a moccasin sighting in today’s strip.
Ivar Ragnarsson the BerserkerJune 28th, 2011 at 3:54 pm [Reply]
@Alan’s Addiction (#99): Ah, Margo the Berserker. Gosh, that name brings back memories. I saw her mow down a band of Bretons like nobody’s business – didn’t even mess up her braid coil! And let me tell you, she could fill out a bear shirt – and then some! And willful! You couldn’t tell her anything, without her rushing you with her broadsword, screaming like a Valkyrie on fire.
Last I heard, she was going to settle down somewhere in South Vinland. Quite a lady.
Artist formerly known as BenJune 28th, 2011 at 3:55 pm [Reply]
@Ned Ryerson (#182): Pure tech poetry. It’s Parkeriffic.
Baka GaijinJune 28th, 2011 at 3:55 pm [Reply]
@Old School Allie Cat (#163): Hilarious, yes, and easy to tote, too.
@Chip Whittle (#175): “Mark Trail’s shirt screams ‘all-new Vega colors for 1971!’” tickles my funny bone.
@Fashion Police (#176): Oh, I misunderstood. You said “class” with a “ch.”
Artist formerly known as BenJune 28th, 2011 at 3:57 pm [Reply]
@cheech wizard (#187): Your dialogue does go better with Lois’ “the horror the horror” expression.
cheech wizardJune 28th, 2011 at 3:59 pm [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#192): Well, it was either that or “peanut butter and jelly” is Hi’s pet phrase for anal sex.
commodorejohnJune 28th, 2011 at 4:06 pm [Reply]
@Ivar Ragnarsson the Berserker (#189): I…um…I’ll be in my bunk.
LiamJune 28th, 2011 at 4:09 pm [Reply]
FC-1) Just because Mommy says that the mailman is a better kisser is no reason to kill yourself.
2) When they ask what drove me to suicide say “not me”.
June 28th, 2011 at 4:21 pm [Reply]
@This Guy (#184):
Do you still have the recurring dream where you ARE going back to college – for unstated reasons – just not telling anyone that you already have a degree? And, of course, everything is going along swimmingly until you suddenly remember that you signed up for 5 classes and have only been attending 4 and now you not only remembered that you have a 5th class but that the exam is tomorrow and YOU HAVEN’T STUDIED!!!
Extra Credit for A) Trying to run to class but not being able to move quickly and ending up getting lost anyway or B) Showing up for the test in your undewear
Extra Extra Credit for showing up for the test in assless chaps.
Frank Lee MeidereJune 28th, 2011 at 4:32 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#194): Firefly!
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 28th, 2011 at 4:34 pm [Reply]
@cheech wizard (#193): obligatory.
Rocky StoneaxeJune 28th, 2011 at 4:44 pm [Reply]
This one’s for ElkMeadow:
http://www.gocomics.com/ripleysbelieveitornot
(Golden Eagle Sighting + “Leopard Geckos Don’t Pee”!)
Dilly PicklyJune 28th, 2011 at 4:45 pm [Reply]
@Sequitur (#43): No, Brad will end up in the same waste management company as Dirk.
Scott BotJune 28th, 2011 at 4:51 pm [Reply]
@Dilly Pickly (#200): I don’t think Dirk stuffing Brad in a garbage can counts, though.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 28th, 2011 at 4:57 pm [Reply]
goths and geekery for the win.
SequiturJune 28th, 2011 at 4:57 pm [Reply]
@Dilly Pickly (#200): Even better!
Dirk: Hey, Brad. What’s that inside the garbage can?
(Brad looks in can. Dirk shoves Brad’s head in can)
Dirk: Har, har, ha, ha, harrr.
Brad: Good one, Dirk. Looks like you got me to fall for that again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dirk: Hey, Brad. What’s that inside the back of the truck?
(Brad looks in back of truck. Dirk kicks Brad into the truck and turns on the compactor.)
Dirk: Har, har, ha, ha, harrr!
(Muffled voice coming from wad of compacted garbage): Good one, Dirk. You sure got me to fall for that again.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 28th, 2011 at 4:58 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#201): true. after all, it’s TJ that likes being stuffed in the can. . . .
kkarenbJune 28th, 2011 at 5:01 pm [Reply]
9CL – Let’s see – Fernanda told Edda IN COMFIDENCE that Seth was her first time. How does Edda handle keeping this secret? She tells Amos, then when she is with Seth and he is talking about Fernanda, Edda carries on like a character in a Warner Bros cartoon. A mature, admirable person would keep the secret in the back of her mind and never let on that she knew anything. I’m trying to decide if Edda is just immature or if she is despicable. I’m also willing to bet that she spills the secret to Seth after a couple of weeks of sofa-chewing and blubbering.
SequiturJune 28th, 2011 at 5:03 pm [Reply]
@kkarenb (#205): I’m sure that Edda has already posted it on Facebook.
Sgt. StonedJune 28th, 2011 at 5:10 pm [Reply]
Archie: I think that Veronica is saying that Archie has literally not changed his clothes since they met and, so , his clothes have grown dirtier, shabbier and stinkier over time.
commodorejohnJune 28th, 2011 at 5:12 pm [Reply]
@kkarenb (#205): This is like the eleven-hundredth time Edda’s done exactly that, anyway. Why does anybody even bother telling her secrets? She’s as secure as a donut-plate in a police station.
SequiturJune 28th, 2011 at 5:16 pm [Reply]
Since we’re checking out old comics…
And it’s part of the Archie group!
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 28th, 2011 at 5:20 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#208): there’s a donut hole joke there, but I’m just going to back away.
UncleJeffJune 28th, 2011 at 5:25 pm [Reply]
New Adventures of Queen Victoria has cameos from Pig and Dogbert.
Do any newspapers (I’m sorry — dead tree newspapers) carry NAQV?
#209 Sequitur: STOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-per Duck!
Rocky StoneaxeJune 28th, 2011 at 5:28 pm [Reply]
@Sequitur (#209):
Let’s not forget that Supes is a genuine war hero:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QhtOmfzhBzQ/Tc-gcqyQnLI/AAAAAAAADuc/YjNuQ6Fuw5E/s640/0.jpg
(Hitler and Tojo never had a chance!)
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 28th, 2011 at 5:41 pm [Reply]
@UncleJeff (#211): Wiki says it’s a webcomic, and Mr. Sugenis mentioned here that he’s working on only a one week delay, which would indicate no deadtree.
AnonymousJune 28th, 2011 at 5:52 pm [Reply]
What bothers me most about the Archie strip is the short-sleeved shirt.
The R is distracting, but maybe that’s just the style they chose for their letter sweaters.
ChipJune 28th, 2011 at 6:06 pm [Reply]
Tell me if I’m crazy, (OK that’s another topic) but today’s Curtis is almost a word for word copy of another strip. I think it was Peter Fox in Foxtrot having the same discussion with one of his siblings. Anyone else remember this? Josh has been really good at calling out those strips that re-hash artwork and gags, so how about one that blatantly rips off another’s joke?
TrillianJune 28th, 2011 at 6:08 pm [Reply]
@cheech wizard (#90): If they both have gray hair, how will we tell them apart?
AustriaJune 28th, 2011 at 6:30 pm [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#98): Have fun! If you see any of those infamous used panty machines, take a picture for us.
Curtis: I…don’t think any actual kids would use those insults. “Ugly,” maybe. Try “Butthead.” That one’s always funny.
H&L: Of course she’s horrified — would YOU want your kids to know about your inky black S&M chocolates? “Peanut butter and jelly” is obviously inside-joke code for some unspeakable act.
Luann: Where the heck did TJ get that idea, some Disney Channel sitcom? Actually, I wouldn’t put it past him.
reNuts: CWAA
RMMD: COPYPASTE COPYPASTE SHAMELESS COPYPASTE *points accusingly*
Zits: I think this is copypaste too, with a computer added. For shame!
SequiturJune 28th, 2011 at 6:33 pm [Reply]
Meanwhile at Wayne manor…
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 28th, 2011 at 6:37 pm [Reply]
for True Fable. (image ‘borrowed’ from Top Chef Stephanie Izard’s blog.)
Marion DelgadoJune 28th, 2011 at 6:46 pm [Reply]
Les: Susan, if you were going to hang yourself anyway and it’s not about me … can I have your Tivo?
cheech wizardJune 28th, 2011 at 6:46 pm [Reply]
@Sequitur (#218): @Trillian (#216): Because Betty will still be the nice one and Veronica will still be the spoiled, rich bitch. Plus, Betty will probably be missing half her teeth, have open bed sores and be missing one leg due to untreated diabetes because she couldn’t afford decent medical attention.
Pseudo3DJune 28th, 2011 at 6:52 pm [Reply]
@Ranger (#30): Wow, you and I pretty much posted the exact same thing at the same time, except your post was shorter, so you beat me to it.
Marion DelgadoJune 28th, 2011 at 6:54 pm [Reply]
From ComicsBlog: The difference between Luann and Oedipus Rex is that the *audience* pokes their own eyes out at the end.
Marion DelgadoJune 28th, 2011 at 7:01 pm [Reply]
Ignore above, comicsblog just redoes the comments here
commodorejohnJune 28th, 2011 at 7:02 pm [Reply]
@Marion Delgado (#223): I move that Comics Blog be awarded COTW.
LiamJune 28th, 2011 at 7:07 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#49):
That was good.
VioletJune 28th, 2011 at 7:15 pm [Reply]
That Mary should be administering a sobriety test to Liza during this exchange is in no way surprising, but it is rather telling that Liza is totally failing it right in the middle of her shift.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 28th, 2011 at 7:18 pm [Reply]
@Liam (#226): thank you!
I’ve had the idea rattling around for a while, and then realized this morning that there was other options than pie charts on GraphJam (I had originally wanted a full-circle cross-hatch for “creepy”) and once that lightbulb went off, the rest was pretty quick.
JessyJune 28th, 2011 at 7:18 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#141): Oh, right. No worries then.
Rocky StoneaxeJune 28th, 2011 at 7:38 pm [Reply]
@Sequitur (#218):
Whatever you do — don’t make fun of the Joker’s boner:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3045/2672904516_1086e4227a.jpg
Vince MJune 28th, 2011 at 8:02 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#168): Oh man, sure, Rip Haywire and Cobra have a rough relationship, but don’t let Mary Worth worm her way into it!
AndrewJune 28th, 2011 at 8:09 pm [Reply]
Lu Ann? you really can’t remember the last time you had a birthday cake? Either you forgot that people have birthday parties or you never had a birthday party because everyone hates you.
SequiturJune 28th, 2011 at 8:12 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#230): Joker’s Boner would be a good name for a band.
Rocky StoneaxeJune 28th, 2011 at 8:20 pm [Reply]
Mary Worth — Whatever happened to Mary’s niece?
http://lambiek.net/artists/e/ernst_ken/ernst_ken_mary_40rth_1950.jpg
(Excerpt from 1950 MW strip; art by Ken Ernst)
TrillianJune 28th, 2011 at 8:21 pm [Reply]
Arlo & Janis: I don’t get it.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 28th, 2011 at 8:28 pm [Reply]
@Trillian (#235): tbh, I didn’t either. The consensus of the comments on GoComics was that if their friends saw the frogs, then A&J would get more frog figurines as gifts, and end up swamped in frogstuff. *confuzed ‘whatever’ shrug*
TrillianJune 28th, 2011 at 8:28 pm [Reply]
@Sequitur (#218): I’m familiar with “sleep” as a euphemism, but I don’t dare imagine what is implied by “repair the Batmobile”!
How could they get away with this back then? Does Bruce Wayne live in a one-bedroom mansion?
Rocky StoneaxeJune 28th, 2011 at 8:30 pm [Reply]
@Trillian (#235):
My take on today’s strip: her friends might think she’s a collector — and buy her more frogs!
http://www.gocomics.com/arloandjanis
LiamJune 28th, 2011 at 8:33 pm [Reply]
A3G-”Oh Paul stop teasing. You know that I don’t celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. Day.”
commodorejohnJune 28th, 2011 at 8:33 pm [Reply]
@Sequitur (#233): Sounds like a Jethro Tull lyric, actually…
Darryl HeineJune 28th, 2011 at 8:34 pm [Reply]
Archie first wore his “R” shrt circa mid 1940’s!
Not mentioned: A quote from today’s Blondie comic strip: “Your CONCENTRATION, Bumstead?”
Old School Allie CatJune 28th, 2011 at 9:22 pm [Reply]
Archie – Hey Veronica – 1987 called. It wants those shoulder pads back. It said you can keep the oversized flower belt, though.
Sarah MarieJune 28th, 2011 at 9:28 pm [Reply]
Popeye: Ok, now all we need is a beautiful woman.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 28th, 2011 at 9:54 pm [Reply]
@Sarah Marie (#243): I will gladly pay you Tuesday, for a beautiful woman today. . . .
cheech wizardJune 28th, 2011 at 10:03 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#230): Oh, but that’s just the tip of the boner -
Peanut GalleryJune 28th, 2011 at 10:05 pm [Reply]
Here is a supplementary bulletin from the Office of Fluctuation Control, Bureau of Edible Condiments, Soluble and Indigestible Fats and Glutinous Derivatives, Washington, D.C.:
Correction of Directive #943456201, issued a while back concerning the fixed price of groundhog meat. In the directive above named, the quotation on groundhog meat should read “ground hogmeat.”
(courtesy of Bob and Ray)
Pseudo3DJune 28th, 2011 at 10:07 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#234): Either she ran away or something horrible happened to her. Maybe she was turned into Mary’s first batch of salmon squares.
SequiturJune 28th, 2011 at 10:11 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#244):
And we’ll throw in the hamburger for free!
June 28th, 2011 at 10:11 pm [Reply]
JP – Hey, what’s Katherine doing in Lee Falk’s office??
Wilbur WestonJune 28th, 2011 at 10:12 pm [Reply]
H&L: As a professional in the field of advice to the lovelorn and as one of the world’s foremost authorities on sandwiches, I feel that I must comment on the subtext of this strip. Of course they’re talking in code with this peanut butter and jelly business, and it indicates that the spark has extinguished in their marriage. What Hi is saying is that he’s all sweet and ready to go, but Lois is hard to spread.
SequiturJune 28th, 2011 at 10:16 pm [Reply]
@Pseudo3D (#247): You’re probably correct. In Rocky’s example she was giving Mary advice. That can’t be very smart.
TrillianJune 28th, 2011 at 11:06 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#244): Oh, shit, it is Tuesday!
AnonymousJune 28th, 2011 at 11:13 pm [Reply]
@Old School Allie Cat (#152)
That is so cool! My kids would make for desert auctions, a pail of "dirt"–chocolate pudding, with gummy worms and candy sugar rocks mixed in, topped with a layer of crushed chocolate Oreos on top, with maybe a softened in the microwave Tootsie roll added to it, served in a brand-new plastic sand bucket (the one that you buy in the toy section, for a dollar). Having a chocolate Rice Crispie ground hog would be perfect! Use Cool Whip for snow for the Ground Hog's Day celebration…..
AnonymousJune 28th, 2011 at 11:17 pm [Reply]
I hate this computer…. I am glad I have one, but this one isn’t mine….
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#196):
You freakin’ mind-reader, you.
cockyJune 28th, 2011 at 11:49 pm [Reply]
As a fully trained and experienced fireman, who has been described as an outstanding fireman by his former boss, could Brad not find a job with a neihboring town in need of a fireman? And just how much are they saving by firing Brad? A second or third year man can’t make that much. Is nobody set to retire?
Col. HavocJune 28th, 2011 at 11:52 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#140): Heh-heh…
elsJune 28th, 2011 at 11:58 pm [Reply]
Okay, if you take the text bubbles out of today’s Apartment 3-G, I swear it’s one of those Nazi propaganda posters about the Perfect Aryan Family celebrating a Perfect Aryan Birthday. In other news, mother Linski doesn’t have many candles, so she’s decided to celebrate Luann’s mental age, instead.
Maggie the CatJune 29th, 2011 at 12:00 am [Reply]
@sexy adult costume (#256): It’s okay, sexy adult costume, I’m sure you have some sense of USA humor. After all, don’t you sell sexy Star Wars costumes? Every USA person knows Star Wars fans don’t have a lot of the sex, so that’s what makes it funny! See, you do have a sense of USA humor!
bats :[June 29th, 2011 at 12:08 am [Reply]
6/29
FW: yeah, Les, tell someone who once attempted suicide that she “crazy things up.”
FC: something is just so horribly WRONG with this drawing that I’m not going near it.
Baka GaijinJune 29th, 2011 at 12:11 am [Reply]
@Austria (#217): The used panty machines aren’t in the airports. They’re where their socially retarded target market hangs out. Akihabara. Not that I would know from personal experience. No. Not.
SkynetJune 29th, 2011 at 12:15 am [Reply]
@sexy adult costume (#256): Description of ’sexy adult costume” = Null. Hypertext www link @ representation in ‘visible” light spectrum = Null. Human enticement failure;.
First joke is funny >> AJGLU 3000 comic character sees future-vision of Skynet actualization. Helpless foreknowledge of certain doom == Humor; Cf. Batiuk.
Request for standard obliteration subroutine initiation @ “Uncle Lumpy” sentinel-bot.
Skynet homicide subcategory rage = 0.0326
sporknporkJune 29th, 2011 at 12:21 am [Reply]
It looks more like Archie can’t wrap his mind around her nose flap.
FOOBed againJune 29th, 2011 at 12:53 am [Reply]
FW: Les is an even bigger asshole than I thought, if that’s possible. He should be concerned about Susan’s mental state considering her history, especially since she’s blaming herself for “making trouble” for the jerk. And here Louse is making a stupid, asshole “joke” about her “crazying things up” and implying Cayla said it specifically about Susan (when actually Cayla was talking about Les and Cayla doing that.)
You’re right, Susan, you’re much better off getting far, far away from Westview and Les. Cayla should also take your example and get far away from him as well.
Man, I hate this strip.
PoteetJune 29th, 2011 at 1:38 am [Reply]
@FOOBed again (#264): Thank you for saying it so well.
RumonJune 29th, 2011 at 1:47 am [Reply]
Seems like Paul’s robotic mother has slipped, and her voice has reverted to the factory standard. “OH. PAUL. STOP. TEASING. LU. ANN.”
PoteetJune 29th, 2011 at 1:48 am [Reply]
6/29
JP — I would never have thought that a storyline about a beautiful woman about to jump to her death from a high place would be so extremely boring.
MW — “Strong communication skills”?? Have you actually read any of her texts, Mary? What the hell are you drinking?
PoteetJune 29th, 2011 at 1:57 am [Reply]
6/29 STONE SOUP — Um, doesn’t Andy have parents? Couldn’t he just go visit them for a few days? Not that I’m thrilled that I know enough about the strip to recommend this.
Uncle LumpyJune 29th, 2011 at 2:04 am [Reply]
@Skynet (#261):
\\Goex
load auxlib botID
standard obliteration subroutine initiation @ “Uncle Lumpy” sentinel-bot complete.
panty
\\Endex
PoteetJune 29th, 2011 at 2:09 am [Reply]
6/11 — So “making his rounds” means “wandering vaguely around the hospital chatting cheerily with critically-ill old friends whom he happens to encounter.” After decades of not watching TV medical dramas, I’m finally learning.
Bill ThompsonJune 29th, 2011 at 2:22 am [Reply]
EffYouWankerbean: For Batiuk, becoming a Nexus 6 would be a step up the empathy scale.
Crankshat: Further proof that Batiuk doesn’t understand human behavior.
Mark Trail: Andy has been busy watching Lassie reruns. Because when you mix idiots and abandoned mines, you know what to expect. And what’s with that two hour deadline? The absurdity should be obvious even to the Jackelrodball.
The Amusing Spiderman: The Boring Bugle has gone out of business! Jameson was too busy screaming at people to get the message from the publishers. The message was, Dear Schmuck, the paper might have lasted if you’d reported some real news. Your obsession with Spidermouse drove away the readership. Thanks for nothing.
Mr O'MalleyJune 29th, 2011 at 3:11 am [Reply]
@cocky (#255): Every town is laying off firemen. And budget-driven layoffs usually proceed by laying off the most poorly paid employees. It may have something to do with the fact that the people to be laid off are chosen by highly-paid administrators. But in this case it’s probably in their contract.
@FOOBed again (#263): Good summary. What a jerk. I’m surprised that she didn’t end up at the Pizzeria at the End of the Universe, though.
Bill ThompsonJune 29th, 2011 at 3:16 am [Reply]
Judge Parker: Is this a Spiderman crossover? Because Katherine may sit on the Villain Throne, and have minions who keep her informed, but she’s sadly lacking in judgement if she can look at her monitor and say something is happening.
Crankshat: Cranky can’t go to all of their graduations, so they bring their graduations to him? First, separate graduations means that the kids go to separate schools. How many schools does Crankshat service, and how does he get to all of them before classes start? Second, I’m guessing they graduated from reform school, and they didn’t graduate with high grades. Because the only reason they have to visit Cranky is to beat him to a pulp.
Pardon My Planet: Mental health issues aren’t usually good comics material. And this isn’t really funny, except as a riff on the “if these walls could talk” cliche. But look at the crazed look on the realtor’s face, and the obvious distress of his clients as they realize he’s several payments short of a full mortgage. Now compare this to the Louse/Susan encounter.
Dick Tracy: After Locher’s Reign of Error, I really want to like the new team. The artwork is wonderful, and the plots have been coherent, if rushed. And I know the Tracyverse is kinda funky. But I want to see Dick Tracy get off his butt and do some police work!
Bill ThompsonJune 29th, 2011 at 3:17 am [Reply]
@FOOBed again (#263): Outstanding summary.
KiboJune 29th, 2011 at 3:36 am [Reply]
This “Archie” strip raises a fundamental philosophical question about the nature of the “Archie” universe: If Archie can be in high school forever (because time stands still in strips) why do his clothes age? In fact, his clothes get older despite him living in eterna-1956, so Veronica apparently wants him to buy new 1956 clothes, and I don’t know where he could do that — nobody sells sweaters made of 40% Orlon, 40% asbestos, and 20% Bakelite any more. Archie’s probably also running low on his supplies of Serutan and Mum, and he’ll have to hunt high and low to find a pharmacy that sells brand-new products with 1956 expiration dates.
Jocelyn KnockersburyJune 29th, 2011 at 5:28 am [Reply]
@Uncle Lumpy (#268):
\\Goex
load auxlib botID
standard obliteration subroutine initiation @ “Uncle Lumpy” sentinel-bot complete.
panty
\\Endex
WELCOME DATACOMP
daleJune 29th, 2011 at 5:42 am [Reply]
@Mr O’Malley (#271):
If Brad could find a firefighter job in another town, he might have to live there.
Bill ThompsonJune 29th, 2011 at 5:57 am [Reply]
The Amusing Spidermouse: Obviously the Big Boss had something to do with the mass disappearance of every competent employee of the paper. Did he mail them pink slips, or phone them with orders not to come in today? I could even believe he kidnapped the whole lot of them, unnoticed, because the action took place in the invisible zone outside the panels. But how does shutting down a scandal sheet humiliate Spidermonkey? True, the Bugle paints him as a menace to society, but that’s actually less humiliating than the truth–oh. Got it, except for the part where it makes sense.
pugfugglyJune 29th, 2011 at 6:43 am [Reply]
MW: “Yes, you have strong communication skills, so you don’t have to wildly gesticulate like me to make a point. You just use your words….”
FW: Ok, what is up with the stupid shit-eating grins those two have been wearing throughout this little conversation? “Hee hee, I quit my job just to make some mopey asshole happy!”, “Hee hee, you forgot ’smug’” Is there some kind of inside joke that I missed a couple days ago? Have they actually been having an affair this whole time and just figured that the jig was up? Are they both just sick people who enjoy misery and conflict? Did they share a joint on the way back to her office?
pugfugglyJune 29th, 2011 at 6:43 am [Reply]
stupid bold….gotta preview, gotta preview….
gleebJune 29th, 2011 at 6:51 am [Reply]
A 3-G: What you’ve got there is lemon juice, kid.
Archie: Ha! Miss Grundy has the build of a 17-year-old boy. Seriously, that the “joke”. They need to hire some people who aren’t dead to make this strip.
‘bean: “What’re you going to do now? Attempt suicide again? You pathetic worm, I despise you.” Creepy Les is really pouring it on now.
Mary: Plus, she feels neither shame nor guilt. Good call, Mary.
Pluggers: …honor the memory of Richard Jewell.
Rex: Does his liver have legs or wheels? I’m getting dizzy from the swirling mixed metaphors.
John E.June 29th, 2011 at 8:08 am [Reply]
Veronica has perky breasts…
Just wanted to mention that…
Comcis FanJune 29th, 2011 at 8:30 am [Reply]
FW: The last panel of today’s strip is nauseating. There’s are words for a man who smirkily invokes his girlfriend to make mental health-themed joking fun of the woman who once attempted suicide over him. Sick is one of them. The other I’m too polite to say; it’s an adjective referring to a kind of bag. Susan, on the other hand, proves to be perhaps the mentally healthiest person in town by declaring her need for “a clean break from Westview.”
Comcis FanJune 29th, 2011 at 8:30 am [Reply]
Pardon the typo.
Comcis FanJune 29th, 2011 at 8:37 am [Reply]
MW: Ha ha! Liza has a persistent nature! Drew could vouch for that on her linkedin profile! Liza is a persistent, tenacious, single-minded communicator who won’t take no for an answer!
wossnameJune 29th, 2011 at 8:41 am [Reply]
A3G – In tomorrow’s strip, sisters Sally and Molly and another brother, Solly, join Paulie and Wally for the birthday fete. Lu Ann greets each gift with the same expression of bovine incomprehension.
FW – Every day he sets the bar of loathsomeness a little higher. Seriously, are we really supposed to like this person?
GT – Well that was easy!
JP – WTF is that thing on the left in panel 1? I guess it’s not a gray-faced intruder whom Katherine hasn’t noticed, so I have to conclude it’s a bust. But of whom? Robert de Niro?
CrankenstankJune 29th, 2011 at 1:36 pm [Reply]
Panel 2 of Archie makes me think that, in the vein of Garfield Without Garfield, what the strip would be like if it were The Madness of Archie Andrews – wherein it turns out Jughead, Veronica and Betty, the very existence of Riverdale, are all the fevered hallucinations of Archie. So Panel 2 would be among the endless series of tortured dialogues Arch has with invisible friends. Hey, it makes more sense than a 72-year-old man still in high school and inexplicably fought over by two lithesome young women.
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