Beetle Bailey, 6/10/11
You might have doubts that Plato, Camp Swampy’s resident braniac, would pass his time reading the bluntly named Weird Stuff. But at least he’s leagues ahead of Beetle, who apparently isn’t intellectually equipped to deal with words or even pictures and is instead just perusing some publication that consists entirely of colored squares arranged in simple patterns. “Ooh, it’s the red-yellow issue!”
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/10/11
What are we to make of the fact that a host of mosquitos buzz into this strip only after we learn that Eliviney has doused herself with some dubious home-made insect repellent? It could be that we’re supposed to believe that this homemade Off knockoff is of such low quality that it actually attracts bugs; however, I prefer to think that Hootin’ Holler, among all of its other well-known negative qualities, is permanently afflicted by thousands of mosquitos, whose presence we normally aren’t privy to because they’d be tedious to draw. Panel two shows us the hellish bug-world in which the characters live at all times, just to emphasize why extreme measures of homemade chemistry are necessary in this case.
Dennis the Menace, 6/10/11
Dennis and Joey are already gravitating towards activities that compensate for their lack of skills. I guess having low expectations for yourself is kind of menacing?
This entry was posted on Friday, June 10, 2011 at 08:36 am and is filed under Barney Google & Snuffy Smith, Beetle Bailey, Dennis the Menace. | 322 responses to “” LiamJune 10th, 2011 at 8:42 am [Reply]
MW-Dating? Seriously! All we ever saw them do is go out on one date. Does Drew consider all the times that came across each other in the hospital as dates? Who could ever forget that memorable date outside of radiology where Drew told Liza that they aren’t going out and Liza proclaiming her love for him for the hundreth time that day. If this is the sort of logic in the Mary Worthverse where one date automaticly makes you dating then I can understand what Aldo was doing. He wasn’t stalking Mary he just assumed that they were married.
Rocky StoneaxeJune 10th, 2011 at 8:42 am [Reply]
Blondie/Ballard Street — Frankly, this DOM* crossover is creeping me out:
http://www.jsonline.com/comics/32402404.html?feature_id=Blondie
http://www.gocomics.com/ballardstreet
Next up: Eric meets CHRIS HANSEN from ‘To Catch a Predator’
*Dirty Old Man
Rocky StoneaxeJune 10th, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]
Tom the Dancing Bug — There’s history… and then there’s HERSTORY:
http://www.gocomics.com/tomthedancingbug
RustyJune 10th, 2011 at 8:48 am [Reply]
DtM: Ol’ Dolly there (it is Dolly, right?) has forearms Popeye would envy.
True FableJune 10th, 2011 at 8:53 am [Reply]
Ah yes, the comics: where the Curmudgeon comments on Beetle Bailey (“Ooh, it’s the red-yellow issue!”) gets bigger laughs than the entire history of the strip itself.
bad wolfJune 10th, 2011 at 8:54 am [Reply]
Is it just my impression or has Josh been covering Barney Google almost constantly? Or at least much more frequently than any other strip?
Mark BJune 10th, 2011 at 8:55 am [Reply]
JP: Constance–”It’s cold out here … so everyone back off a bit so I don’t accidentally poke someone’s eye out.”
DoodJune 10th, 2011 at 8:55 am [Reply]
DtM: Even more menacing: Margaret’s Popeye-like forearms.
Chyron HRJune 10th, 2011 at 8:56 am [Reply]
Hey, Dennis, Keith Moon called. He says FUCK YOU.
Hey, Dennis, Carl Palmer called. He also says FUCK YOU.
Hey, Dennis, Neil Peart called. He says to stop mooching off his productivity.
Hey, Dennis, Ringo Starr called. But we hung up.
The WazJune 10th, 2011 at 8:59 am [Reply]
FW – ‘But now I’ve got to do what real friends do.’ It’s hire a hit man to kill Les right? OhpleaseOhpleaseOhpleaseOhplease.
Alan's AddictionJune 10th, 2011 at 9:00 am [Reply]
The writers of “Beetle Bailey” apparently aren’t too familiar with the concept of stubble. I base this observation upon the unfortunate-looking denizens of Camp Swampy, who have random bits of hair growing everywhere except the lower half of their face. The alternate explanation is that the folks at Camp Swampy all suffer from some strange and rare genetic disorder, which would actually explain a lot about the strip.
Ah, the simple world of Hootin’ Holler; a place where not suffering from insect-spread plagues is considered elitist.
June 10th, 2011 at 9:01 am [Reply]
Looks like Funky is going to put Les out of his misery. At least I presume that’s why he’s carrying a revolver in his left hand.
One-Eyed WolfdogJune 10th, 2011 at 9:01 am [Reply]
FW: “…kick him a little more while he’s still down.”
Mark BJune 10th, 2011 at 9:02 am [Reply]
Wow … Apparently Peter Parker doesn’t have preview on his expensive-looking digital SLR, and doesn’t look at the prints before his takes them into a meeting with triple J to sell them. Not only is he a terrible insect/Superhero*, he’s also a terrible photographer.
*And yes, I know a spider’s not an insect, but Stan Lee doesn’t.
bourbon babe, unbuckledJune 10th, 2011 at 9:02 am [Reply]
SM: Oh, c’mon, Peter: You were just trying to alter the photo so we couldn’t see Spidey getting whacked with a pipe, and you screwed it up. It’s not that vampires don’t show up in photos; you just suck at Photoshop.
BB: And until I started reading Beetle Bailey, I didn’t know that soldiers lay around in their cots openly ogling their nude comrades, but there it is.
MT: Dumbest frame-up ever. Doofus McCriminal can only hope that his apple didn’t fall far from the tree; that’s the only way Sheriff Dad will fall for this. (And yeah, I know that in the Elrodverse, the odds are in his favor.)
MW: I want to know what’s prompted Mary’s “eeeeeeee” face in panel 2; she should be salivating over this meddling opportunity. Or is the possibility that one human being cannot bend another to his or her will so horrifying to Mary that the mere mention of stubbornness makes her recoil?
JP: I’ve been gone from the comics for, what, 9 days now? And Dr. Emma is still hanging from that damned fire escape?
Scott BotJune 10th, 2011 at 9:05 am [Reply]
Archie – Well, that hammock explains the crisscross marks on Archie’s head.
FW – ‘Now I’ve got to do what real friends do – go pick on him some more! I just thought of a couple more great jokes!’
GT – Maybe if you told them there’s gonna be a keg there…
MT – GREAT IDEA, yelling in the middle of committing a felony. It’s PERFECT if you want to get caught.
Pluggers – Pluggers work? I thought all they did was hang around the house watching television and sending in folksy sayings to Pluggers.
McManxJune 10th, 2011 at 9:07 am [Reply]
Beetle Bailey – I was wondering if that was a hair on Sarge’s ass overlapping the ass of the blond guy, or if the blond guy’s ass crack runs horizontally. Then I realized I was looking at the hair on Sarge’s ass and I threw up in my mouth.
Dennis – As it appears Joey and Dennis are wearing bowling shoes, I guess they are playing the drums at the local bowling alley. That could be considered menacing.
Fred Basset – I realize this is a bit late to comment on, but I was checking up on several weeks of Fred Basset. Look at the May 28 strip on Go Comics. It is a classic case of why British humor doesn’t translate well in America. Otherwise, I laughed my ass off…
Dick Tracy – What th’ @#@$%* is Lizz trying on costumes a movie set? Since resigning as police chief, she has been kidnapped out of a tanning bed or otherwise drinking coffee non-stop. Anything but police work. Jesus, this strip is harder to follow than “Pulp Fiction.”
Spiderman – Ha, ha. The photo makes it look like Spidey is brushing dandruff off his shoulder. It’s funny, because he has his whole head covered by his mask, and dandruff couldn’t fall out. Its’ … Alright, goddammit, it’s not funny. But at least I’m trying to find some benefit to reading “The Amazingly In-ept Spiderman.”
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 10th, 2011 at 9:07 am [Reply]
FW: Great image of Funky hurling into his custom XL Montoni’s barf bag, complete with headstraps to restrain slippage during bouts of projectile emesis. Way more utilitarian than a fridge magnet.
NekrotzarJune 10th, 2011 at 9:08 am [Reply]
At least Dennis’s bass drum has the capacity to be, if not menacing, at least loud enough to be annoying to the neighbors. With the strip’s recent trajectory I would have expected him to be playing alto flute or viola da gamba by now.
pugfugglyJune 10th, 2011 at 9:09 am [Reply]
BB: Look at all those long faces. Ever since they announced the repeal of DADT, shower time at the barracks just doesn’t have that same tantalizing sense of danger and urgency
BG&SS: Judging by El’s sheepish grin, I’m wondering if ‘Deep Backwoods Skeeter Repellent’ is maybe just code for ‘morning whisky sweats’? ‘Course that’s more of an insecticide than a repellant….
A3G: I guess no-one should be really surprised that that Luann finds run of the mill coincidences as ’spooky!!!’, but when your social circle is about 7 people, you’re probably going to find a few overlaps…
KarMannJune 10th, 2011 at 9:11 am [Reply]
@Mr Foofram (#12):
Looks like Funky is going to put Les out of his our misery.
Fixed that for ya.
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#15): But what we really want to know is, did you get to meet Jules over there, and see his shoes?
Mark BJune 10th, 2011 at 9:13 am [Reply]
@McManx (#17): Thanks for mentioning Lizz. That’s another one of my complaints against the new team. Lizz has been demoted from a tough as nails leader of the crime squad to combination eye candy/damsel in distress. The eye candy is terrific, but it’s a little weird. It’d be like going to a tech conference and finding Carly Fiorino in a bathing suit at the HP booth showing off rack servers. If Carly were better looking. And still working for HP. OK, maybe the analogy isn’t so good.
bourbon babe, unbuckledJune 10th, 2011 at 9:14 am [Reply]
@KarMann (#21): I saw plenty of Jules types, that’s for sure—stubbly, lank-haired, pouty young men (and quite a few older men fitting that description). And lots of VERY high heels that were probably not constructed in a tack shop.
And sadly, not a Cedric in sight.
CanuckDownSouthJune 10th, 2011 at 9:16 am [Reply]
@Liam (#1): I think we saw Drew & Liza together out of the hospital in more than one outfit with some “meanwhile” narration between part one and two, implying at least two dates. (I refuse to risk my sanity by searching the archives.) Liza’s in the wrong strip, as “1st acknowledgment of the opposite sex = betrothal” is the Law of FOOB, not the Law of Mary.
@McManx (#17): That was the FB woodpecker strip, right? It got a few comments :)
Larry FineJune 10th, 2011 at 9:17 am [Reply]
BB — Beetle’s choice of reading material may indicate he doesn’t have the brains God gave a gnat, but it doesn’t matter. Sarge still loves him.
Adam G.June 10th, 2011 at 9:17 am [Reply]
No wonder Beetle is always so depressed. He gets ridiculed for perusing a retrospective on famed 20th century artist Piet Mondrian, while Plato is once again reading some pseudoscientific drivel and gets hailed as the camp’s intellectual.
But What Do I Know?June 10th, 2011 at 9:19 am [Reply]
A3G — No, LuAnn means it’s spooky that she has a boyfriend. She had forgotten all about Paul, not having seen him in the last ten minutes and all.
FC — And Jeffy, it’s your job to pick up that heap of smile and dispose of it. . .
MT — Wow, a plan in Mark Trail that actually sounds plausible–too bad it’s the bad guys who came up with it. . .
SM — There may not be vampire, but the photos show something even more rare–an action photo of Spiderman (Note: fainting and being knocked down do *not* qualify as “action.”)
MW — Mary ex machina!
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 10th, 2011 at 9:21 am [Reply]
Doones: Riding a train! Reading books! There’s still hope for this consarned younger generation.
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 10th, 2011 at 9:22 am [Reply]
9 – And the crowd goes wild, right? It’s over, right? Bolero’s seventeen minutes long, and they’re only going through it one time, right? Right?
Family – “It’s your turn to sniff his butt now, or he’ll know you’re not dom’nant.”
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 10th, 2011 at 9:22 am [Reply]
Marmaduke – “Looks like somebody I know is gonna be licking himself again tonight.”
Phantom – That old jungle saying is pretty flat. It should rhyme:
“Who spies the Phantom’s phiz unmasked,
A terrible death shall die unasked.”
Pluggers – The only rubber safety appliances a plugger buys come in pairs.
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 10th, 2011 at 9:23 am [Reply]
Spider-Man – So Pete didn’t notice that all his photos showed Spider-Man apparently playing with himself on a rooftop? I’d think Jonah would go for those just to make him look like a sap.
@Poteet (#y291): We sang variants of that old army song on the one campout I went on with the Boy Scouts. I’m not going to look up which war it came out of, though I’ll guess WW1. Other original verses included “The girls that they give us / They say are mighty fine / Most are over eighty / And the rest are under nine.”
pugfugglyJune 10th, 2011 at 9:24 am [Reply]
Ok, one more stupid Spiderman question:
I get that vampires don’t show up on film, but do their clothes? If not, is it only while they’re wearing them? Does vampire sweat confer a sort of partial invisibility to them? Is there a special vampire outlet where they get special ‘clothes of the undead’ that don’t show up in mirrors or in photos?
And if there is such a store, can mere mortals buy vampire-wear to play pranks on friends…?
LawyerbobJune 10th, 2011 at 9:26 am [Reply]
BB: At least Beetle’s book has colors. Plato’s book is entirely blank. Anyway, if not for the tastefully placed towels, this strip would border on NSFW. As it stands, it’s NSF Anybody.
SpundeJune 10th, 2011 at 9:27 am [Reply]
DtM: Pay no attention to his words. Dennis’s expression says, “This specimen would take at least twice as long as a cat to bleed out.”
FW: No way the strip could go a whole week without someone going out of their way to may Les feel special.
Pluggers: Pluggers’ drugstores are stocked in “Password” rerun order?
Mark BJune 10th, 2011 at 9:28 am [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#30):
Phantom – That old jungle saying is pretty flat. It should rhyme:
“Who spies the Phantom’s phiz unmasked,
A terrible death shall die unasked.”
Well, it scans much better in the Bandar tongue. As most things do.
Spiff BereftJune 10th, 2011 at 9:29 am [Reply]
BG&SS: Really, wouldn’t any chemical enhancement be an improvement over all the unwashed skin of Hootin’ Holler? Still, there could be a market for Calvin Klein’s “Bodacious!” as long as it’s alcohol-based.
commodorejohnJune 10th, 2011 at 9:35 am [Reply]
A3G – “And if you look at it kinda sideways and squint right, Iris predicted the World Trade Center attacks! Those haven’t happened yet, right? …this is 1963, isn’t it?”
A&J – Guess he just didn’t want the tick getting in on the fun.
BS – This Ballard Street panel of a plaid-shirted loon getting his ass launched by an improvised catapult while a dog smirks is approximately sixty times as dynamic and energetic as 9 Chickweed Lane’s depiction of two people dancing. Just thought I’d throw that out there.
BB – “Now shut up and let me get back to my primary-color quilt swatches.”
Bizarro – You get geek points for putting the Eye in the tower, Piraro.
DT – Well this isn’t an inexplicable and needlessly contrived way to set up a plot at all. Show us your SAG card, Lizz!
FW – “I’m gonna hunt that whiney little bitch down and beat some sense into him. Then maybe I’ll get it on with Cayla just to remind him what he’s missing.”
GT – Girl in Hello Kitty Shirt is not impressed.
JP – After all, if you’re planning to dash your brains out on the cold concrete, you want to be warm and comfortable while doing so. Obviously.
Luann – Because when kids want you to read them a story, obviously the best thing you can do is to pull some self-aggrandizing pap out of your ass and make them squint at pictures of you on your tiny phone screen. That’s much better than any of the storybooks at THE FREAKING LIBRARY, WHERE THEY ARE, TO READ BOOKS. Wow! There are just so many reasons to hate every character in this strip! [*]
MT – You know what I really love? I love that Myson Mike explains not only the gist of his plan, but the individual steps and reasoning behind it. He’s nothing if not thorough!
Monty – Does anybody else automatically tune right the fuck out when this character shows up? It’s not just me, is it?
The Norm – Still less creepy than Liza.
OBH – Well, that all depends on whether you savor the glorious cycle of predation, Ruthie. It’s Nature’s way!
RMMD – Uh, what exactly has June just had inserted into where?
Ripley’s – The comics page has now seen the phrase “the anus of a sea cucumber.” God damn if that couldn’t be worked into some interesting conversations!
Snuffy – What, four? In 125 cubic feet? You pansies should visit northern Minnesota sometime.
SM – Be honest, Peter: that’s just a picture of you getting funky, isn’t it?
erdmannJune 10th, 2011 at 9:37 am [Reply]
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith: Just exactly when is this strip supposed to take place? It must be the past, because if these were modern-day hillfolk the smell would be the great scent of ether, wafting from Eliviney’s meth lab.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 10th, 2011 at 9:37 am [Reply]
IP: wearing a cape and a borscht belt.
rMC: yaaaaaaaaaaaaay Bridget! you go, girl!
A&J: bow-chicka-bow-wow.
Bizarro: ba-dumTISH!
HotC: nice classic ref, Mr. Tatulli.
JP: it’s a bit nipply out this evening. . . .
PMP: waaah-waaaah-waaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
PBS: lampshade hanging 101.
SFx: bringing to light yet another artist that could improve “Reply All” immeasurably.
snarpologies as warranted.
Jocelyn KnockersburyJune 10th, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]
Too early in the morning to see nude secondary characters in Beetle Bailey. Someone please Oedipus my eyes, thx.
Comcis FanJune 10th, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]
@Chyron HR (#9): Don’t diss Ringo!
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 10th, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]
@Lawyerbob (#33): No consumer-market book titled “Weird Stuff” could ever begin to compare with what goes on daily in that barracks. I think that’s actually Plato’s journal and he’s getting ready to make another entry.
seismic-2June 10th, 2011 at 9:39 am [Reply]
RMMD: June’s face in the last panel makes it seem that she is unclear on the distinction between “lady of leisure” and “lady of the evening”. Considering it’s Berna who is speaking, that would be pretty much my reaction too.
Dennis JimenezJune 10th, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]
What a side-splitting crop of funnies, today….
BB – Camp Swampy ought’a do a beefcake calendar….
BG&SS – When you’ve jus’ got out’a the outhouse, why, even Malathion smelt good….
DtM – At first I wanted to be a musician, but I took up drumming instead….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Old School Allie CatJune 10th, 2011 at 9:49 am [Reply]
I’m about to head to th
e deep backwoods myself for a little boondoggle on the Ocoee.
AWK AWK AWK!
Goodness gracious.
Have a great weekend, mudges.
VoshkodJune 10th, 2011 at 9:49 am [Reply]
Once again, the truth behind Beetle Bailey is hidden in a welter of naked flesh. Beetle didn’t believe in Bigfoot et al. before he joined the Army. Now he does. Why?
The shocking truth – Camp Swampy is the home of the U.S. Army’s elite monster fighting unit. When Bigfoot or Godzilla attacks, they are the first responder. It made a lot of sense in the 50s.
CTinDenverJune 10th, 2011 at 9:50 am [Reply]
It was years before I figured out those rectangular things in Dennis the Menace’s hair were eyebrows. I thought it was debris of some kind leftover from past excurions, or he had dandruff flakes the size of Lego bricks.
bbofunJune 10th, 2011 at 9:50 am [Reply]
@McManx (#17): I immediately assumed that Liz is going undercover on set as a stuntwoman. I can only think (given the sheer amount of continuity porn we’re getting from the new team) that this is referencing something from the past, where she trained with a stuntman, or some such. Otherwise, it’s a pretty silly (and dangerous) thing to go undercover as.
At least it will be a chance for Liz to get into the action, so @Mark B (#22), they’re (with luck) aware of the problem.
(Interesting side note- my spellcheck recognizes stuntman, not stuntwoman. It also doesn’t recognize “spellcheck”, unless I hyphenate it.)
I’m rather enjoying the fast pace of Dick Tracy nowadays- each month is basically a comic book story. I realize that it’s faster than is expected for a strip, but it’s better (IMHO) than, say, The Phantom, or Spider-man.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 10th, 2011 at 9:52 am [Reply]
Pibgorn: teeeheeee! *giggle* /RAGE.
Love Is. . . . remote control buttplugs?!?
Ukulele IkeJune 10th, 2011 at 10:00 am [Reply]
@bbofun (#48): I don’t remember Lizz ever working as a stuntperson, but she did debut back in the ’50s as a nightclub photographer. Got punched out by Joe Period, that obnoxious juvenile delinquent.
TophatJune 10th, 2011 at 10:01 am [Reply]
I love that Margaret has totally checked out at this point and isn’t even listening to Dennis anymore. Instead she is transfixed and thoughtfully staring at Joey. “My God,” she thinks to herself as Dennis blathers on. “Its like some kind of troll child. That mouth… it’s horrifying. And what is that thing on his head? No human hair grows like that…”
Scott BotJune 10th, 2011 at 10:02 am [Reply]
@Voshkod (#46): Are they the unit that takes care of the giant ants and alien invasions, too? If so, they’re a lot better than the strip gives them credit for.
OregonianJune 10th, 2011 at 10:06 am [Reply]
Them ’skeeters ‘pear to be headin on toward Loweezy’s wattle-scrotum thingy.
I don’t rightly want to know what they’re gonna be sucking out of that!
June 10th, 2011 at 10:06 am [Reply]
And when Dennis gets tired of drumming, he can snack on one of those tasty marshmallows-on-a-stick.
Pseudo3DJune 10th, 2011 at 10:11 am [Reply]
BB – It doesn’t matter what sexual orientation Sarge has, I never want to see that ever again.
DT – Something’s off about Liz’s cleavage, there.
MT – That’s a lot of face powder to be spilled.
Esther BlodgettJune 10th, 2011 at 10:16 am [Reply]
Beetle: If you look closely, you can see Sarge’s belly button. You’ve come a long way, Mort Walker!
GregJune 10th, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]
If Beetle was smart, he’d yell out “ATTEN-HUT!” and watch all the towels drop as those hunky men all around him got into parade formation. (If you know what I mean by parade formation. *simper*)
Joe, the Upper-Evergreen GuyJune 10th, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]
Beetle: Mort Walker should know that US Army soldiers, both NCO’s and Privates, keep their hair high-and-tight (at least while Stateside), not looking like walking mops.
Crank: I can imagine Indiana Jones talking to his bull-whip the same way.
Funk the Stupid Bean: In the Funkyverse, “doing what real friends do” usually involves some sort of infliction of injury, permanent maiming or terminal cancer.
Luann: It’s not just the library that hates you, Luann……
MW: I feel another “meddle” coming on….
RMMD: I think that June, with her lips puckered up so, is expecting a kiss from Berna.
Gloom RaiderJune 10th, 2011 at 10:20 am [Reply]
Next in Mark Trail, the police stand outside Joe’s Deep-Discount Moccasin Shop while one of them says “Jeez, this thief could be anybody.”
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 10th, 2011 at 10:22 am [Reply]
a bit late for Memorial Day.
Jeremy has been on GraphJam again.
for tech-savvy pirates.
hovercorgi demotivator.
foxy momma.
sleepy sugar glider may require insulin.
Pudge poses for Fashion Police. (sqwee!)
Not Just Any DipstickJune 10th, 2011 at 10:24 am [Reply]
MW: Mary’s right hand has migrated to her left arm. Hope I didn’t miss someone else noticing.
trey le parcJune 10th, 2011 at 10:24 am [Reply]
DtM: What’s potentially menacing is where Margaret has hidden her violin’s bow. Joey’s rigidly upright posture may provide a clue, but fuck it, this ain’t Shylock Fox.
MibbitmakerJune 10th, 2011 at 10:27 am [Reply]
ReFOOB: Sellout!
DtM: Just Dennis’s bad luck — he’d say this during Letterman’s Drum Solo Week.
(and another sticking up for Ringo here)
FW: Kiss the ass of King Les the Self-Involved. ALL HAIL KING SNOWFLAKE!
GA: No. Just no.
GT: “Yeah, Al-Jo, but it’s an odd way to play softball!”
JessyJune 10th, 2011 at 10:29 am [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#30): I can’t tell you how delighted I am by your use of “phiz.” I had to play around with this.
Who spies the phantom with an unmasked phiz
Shall then go up and take Saint Peter’s quiz.
. . . but what if one is not a believer?
Who sees the Phantom’s visage full unmasked
Shall take a trip, so grab your Conde Nast.
. . . do the denizens of the rainforest subscribe to Conde Nast? Maybe not.
Who sees the phantom’s phiz—we don’t mean bubbly–
Shall die, and we admit that’s kind of troubly.
. . . I do like the “bubbly” and the “phiz” together, but it might not be a universal favorite.
Who sees the Phantom’s face unmasked complete
Shall lie beneath the jungle’s loamy peat.
. . . okay, I will spare you and not try for one with “peaty loam.”
Not Just Any DipstickJune 10th, 2011 at 10:29 am [Reply]
MT: If first graders could read, I suppose this stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid… story arc might be a tiny smidgeon interesting. Since they cannot, we are forced to realize that the author has regressed, and badly. Alzheimer’s patients are not always aware of how bad it has gotten.
Not Just Any DipstickJune 10th, 2011 at 10:33 am [Reply]
BB: Even in the army someone might notice a ‘person of opposite gender’ wandering by with only a towel by their side.
mlvJune 10th, 2011 at 10:38 am [Reply]
Hey! Don’t knock Off knockoffs!
TheDivaJune 10th, 2011 at 10:38 am [Reply]
9CL: Brooke McEldowney Fetishises Women’s Legs, Part 53,532,103.
DT: Do they just not have stunt doubles in the Tracyverse? Why do they have to hire cops for this?
FW: I suppose we all knew, deep down, that nobody could get away with teasing the Specialest Snowflake without having to atone for it in some fashion. But it was nice while it lasted, wasn’t it?
Luann: This right here is why my library gives the job of storytime to the librarians, and not the teen volunteers.
MT: Every container of loose face powder I’ve ever seen has some sort of perforated lid on it, so even if there was an unsealed one just sitting about on a drug store counter you couldn’t just “accidentally” tip the whole thing out onto the floor, any more than you could accidentally empty out a salt shaker. But these are the same guys who think the moccasins they just bought at Payless will match the once hand-sewn by the crazy loner in the mountains, so at least the lack of logic is consistent.
Marvin: Unsurprisingly, even dogs express contempt at Marvin’s (lack of) bathroom habits.
MW: “Whatever, Drew. You got any Carmex? This cold sore is KILLING me!”
PBS: “Getting Crap Past the Radar” doesn’t have to be literal, you know.
Pluggers are more devoted to their insoles than to their life partners.
SM: Called it.
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 10th, 2011 at 10:39 am [Reply]
@Lawyerbob (#33): At least Beetle’s book has colors. Plato’s book is entirely blank.
That’s because it’s the Platonic ideal of the concept of “book,” and as such, its contents are ineffable and cannot be perceived by lowly beings by ourselves except as grotesque, twisted shadows cast upon a cave wall by firelight.
Wait, he just turned the page. It’s porn.
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 10th, 2011 at 10:41 am [Reply]
@Jessy (#64): I raise my hat to you. Or maybe my eyebrows.
JessyJune 10th, 2011 at 10:42 am [Reply]
@Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#58): Funk the S. B.: Let’s not forget “driving one’s friends to the brink of suicide.” If we are lucky, Les’s attempt will be successful.
Esther BlodgettJune 10th, 2011 at 10:47 am [Reply]
FW: “Now I’ve got to do what real friends do – bow and scrape to the asshole with the huge fragile ego.”
H&J: Did Herb and Jamaal just leave their own restaurant – where they could drink coffee for free – to go to “Java Hut” (where’s that missing “the”?) and purchase overpriced coffee? No wonder they look so glum: they’ve realized that not only are they too dumb to solve anybody’s problems, but their unattended restaurant is likely being burglarized at that very moment.
JessyJune 10th, 2011 at 10:47 am [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#70): Haha. Thanks.
Mark BJune 10th, 2011 at 10:52 am [Reply]
Wouldn’t store-bought moccasins leave noticably different tracks than hand-made ones? And is mountain man the only person within 100 miles who wears moccasins? What about Injun Pete? And if they actually apprehend mountain man, isn’t this plot going to fall apart quickly when they question MM and examine his lair? This plot line has a lot of holes, and I don’t mean just the one Mark Trail fell into.
TheDivaJune 10th, 2011 at 10:53 am [Reply]
@TheDiva (#68): Argh, proofreading fail. “…will match the ones hand-sewn,” of course.
Not Just Any DipstickJune 10th, 2011 at 10:57 am [Reply]
@TheDiva (#75): We all saw it, but we (almost all) are much to kind and sweet and nice to ever notice someone being stupid. I certainly am.
Esther BlodgettJune 10th, 2011 at 10:58 am [Reply]
@Mark B (#74): “This plot line has a lot of holes, and I don’t mean just the one Mark Trail fell into.”
Fell, hit from behind with a stick, whatever.
Walker of DogJune 10th, 2011 at 11:05 am [Reply]
FC: Somehow this will end with Jeffy kissing the dog’s anus.
JP: What the hell, Gravity! Get off the stick already!
BB: Beetle is at least trying to broaden his interests. He’s reading Heraldry for Dummies.
MT: Then, Mike’s pride got the best of him and he autographed his footprints.
Plug: Pluggers frequent retail establishments that serve unheated coffee with phlegm in it.
Phan: Kit: “Thanks, kid. Wait – what did your professor say? Listen, I’m just trying to help you avoid a terrible death. I’m plenty good looking, OK? I’m more than just an awesome body. Let me tell you, if you could see my face, you’d be all ‘What a shame that the world can’t experience such total handsomeness.’ So tell that to your professor.
– “Also, my bullet wound is bleeding again. Scoop me up some more of that jungle river mud. Jerk.”
MibbitmakerJune 10th, 2011 at 11:07 am [Reply]
MW: I don’t like the look on Mary’s face. A “how can you refuse twue wuv? look. From a woman who wouldn’t allow someone else to escape Mary’s requirement for existing just one storyline or so ago. If only Mare can remember how she, herself, was victim of a crazed stalker! If only she’d remember that business with Aldo!
– Wait, forget that! Bad idea.
H&L: Ha ha ha. Screens are evil.
RMMD: Say, Berna… didn’t Fred Garvin — Male Prostitute (music over title)…. call himself a “man of leisure” once? Hmmmmmmm……..
Archie: Proto-Dustin.
MibbitmakerJune 10th, 2011 at 11:13 am [Reply]
@Mibbitmaker (#79): Now that I think of it, it was “gentleman of leisure”.
RoktoberJune 10th, 2011 at 11:16 am [Reply]
Talking Tommie into becoming a drummer may be Dennis’ most menacing trick ever.
“No, seriously dude when we’re unemployed and in our early thirties chicks will still be lining up to let us nail’em once they found it we play drums.”
Ensuring Tommie’s lifelong virginity? Pretty goddamn menacing if you ask me.
commodorejohnJune 10th, 2011 at 11:17 am [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#69): That’s because it’s the Platonic ideal of the concept of “book,” and as such, its contents are ineffable and cannot be perceived by lowly beings by ourselves except as grotesque, twisted shadows cast upon a cave wall by firelight.
Wait, he just turned the page. It’s porn.
9 Chickweed Lane in a nutshell, ladies and gentlemen.
Joe, the Upper-Evergreen GuyJune 10th, 2011 at 11:34 am [Reply]
@Walker of Dog (#78): “BB: Beetle is at least trying to broaden his interests. He’s reading Heraldry for Dummies.”
That one made my day!!
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 10th, 2011 at 11:35 am [Reply]
@Walker of Dog (#78): “FC: Somehow this will end with Jeffy kissing the dog’s anus.”
“End”? Pal, that’s the only ray of sunshine in that poor mutt’s otherwise barren life, the only thing that can get that tail wagging.
Just Call Me EJune 10th, 2011 at 11:41 am [Reply]
OBH – I agree with Ruthie – YIKES!
Artist formerly known as BenJune 10th, 2011 at 11:47 am [Reply]
BB: This could be a Slylock Fox installment. “How to draw a bare bear.” And, uh, two or three naked guys who don’t really fit the punchline.
A3G: Ah, Lu Ann. The kind of gal who drinks a glass of lemonade, then wonders who took the ice cubes and poured water into the glass.
Lockhorns: Nice to see that Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio is finding work again.
Marvin: So when tiny spaceships appear in the sky to vaporize our planet, we’ll know who to blame.
GT: Any kids who might be curious about the protest songs–if only to find out if there’s any cussing in them–will already be turned off by the promised speeches. This is why liberals need to find simpatico marketing majors.
DT: Wha? The actress isn’t approved to have a stunt double? Like you need a license to step out for a smoke while someone else does the stunts? Help me out here.
S-M: Haha, Peter’s dick move failed.
If Spidey had a chance
He had some girl to dance with
He’d be dancing with himself
Whoa-oh-oh-oh
FW: Please please please let “what real friends do” be a euphemism for euthanasia.
RMMD: Time for the Morgans to get a new secretary. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that Berna’s replacement will be young and hot.
Garfield: The punchline seems to have gone through the same translation regimen that had Darth Vader DO NOT WANT!ing.
MT: The longhaired lunkhead’s dialogue in the last panel actually makes sense if you imagine him saying it in a sarcastic tone of voice. “Great idea, Mike!” *eyeroll*
Blondie: Sort of saw it coming, but it’s still funny.
Shoe: And the libbers? Don’t even get me started on those bra-burning crazies!
Luann: Luann uses story time for self aggrandizing revisionist history and cheezy cell phone video, and it’s only the library that hates her? Check again, Edna Mode.
JP: Thanks for informing everyone that your nipples are getting hard, Constance. The police needed some entertainment. Sam’s still bored, of course.
Artist formerly known as BenJune 10th, 2011 at 11:50 am [Reply]
@Roktober (#81): I think by “Tommie” you mean Joey. Unless you’re proposing an epic Dennis the Menace/Apartment 3-G crossover.
Scott BotJune 10th, 2011 at 12:05 pm [Reply]
Garfield – Ok, what medication do I have to be on to understand the punchline here?
Little GuyJune 10th, 2011 at 12:11 pm [Reply]
JP: Getting cold? In that dark strapless? Put your arms down, Constance, and we’ll be the judge (parker) of that.
bats :[June 10th, 2011 at 12:19 pm [Reply]
@Walker of Dog (#78): re BB: woohoo! I can hardly wait for next month’s issue. Furs? Ordinaries? Oooh, I must go and have a lie-down now…
seismic-2June 10th, 2011 at 12:20 pm [Reply]
@Jessy (#64)
okay, I will spare you and not try for one with “peaty loam.”
Wasn’t Petey Loam a villain in DT? As I recall, he was in the Dirtbag Gang with Sandy Shore, Clay Banks, Rocky Cliff, and Blacky Mudd. I really liked the gang’s moll, LaBrea Pitts.
bats :[June 10th, 2011 at 12:24 pm [Reply]
@Chyron HR (#9): along with Phil Collins, Buddy Rich and Gene Krupa.
Scott BotJune 10th, 2011 at 12:33 pm [Reply]
@seismic-2 (#91): I think they worked with a group of dirty bums, lead by the infamous Noah Count, vagrant.
MarcJune 10th, 2011 at 12:34 pm [Reply]
Funky- “Now I have to do what real friends do”… Please say mercy killing, please say mercy killing. Your “friend” Les is suffering and we have been suffering because of him for years so do everyone a favor and go buy Les a pair of concrete shoes.
SequiturJune 10th, 2011 at 12:34 pm [Reply]
Dilbert: You see, Alice can teach Drew how to handle Liza.
@bats :[ (#92): And that guy in The Spirit of ‘76. (I think it’s Christopher Lloyd.)
TaggedJune 10th, 2011 at 12:34 pm [Reply]
Dustin: Couldn’t be a more flatter punch-line if it was phoned in..and it probably was.
NekrotzarJune 10th, 2011 at 12:35 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#92):
And with the mention of Phil Collins we now have a link from Dennis to Judge Parker, except that part of the charm of the song Harold the Barrel is its brevity.
June 10th, 2011 at 12:37 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#92): And the exploding drummer from This Is Spinal Tap.
AustriaJune 10th, 2011 at 12:38 pm [Reply]
Arch: No, no, no, no, no! You passed up a perfectly good, relevant punchline!! It SHOULD have been “except an economy that’s actually hiring!” or something similar. Unless he’s looking for like…a full-time managerial position, Archie’s going to be fresh out of luck.
BGSS: “I got durn tired of hearin’ nothin’ but ‘Hey Elviney! Honk honk!’”
Curtis: AUGH THE FOURTH WALL SHATTERED AND THERE ARE SHARDS OF IT EMBEDDED IN MY SKIN GET THEM OUT GET THEM OOOOUUUUT
FW: You WERE doing what real friends do!! The mark of real friendship is when you can mercilessly make fun of each other!! The fact that Les threw a temper tantrum over it means he doesn’t consider himself “real friends” with you. Leave him to his harem and go on with your life.
Luann: There are not enough words in the English language to express my fury
PBS: Beautiful.
NekrotzarJune 10th, 2011 at 12:39 pm [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#69): it’s the Platonic ideal of the concept of “book” … It’s porn.
Po-TAY-to, Po-TAH-to
ElkMeadowJune 10th, 2011 at 12:40 pm [Reply]
@seismic-2 (#43):
That nightclub of Tony’s has to have someone run it while he’s gone. May as well be Berna.
Marvin's MomJune 10th, 2011 at 12:42 pm [Reply]
While reading everyone trash Reply All, which… I don’t even know, it’s just so indescribably awful.. But I suddenly realized I’ve read this site for a long time and I don’t really know which comics we all LIKE. What’s Josh’s favorite comic, like for real??? The ones that are good never actually come up to be ridiculed.
I’m not even sure I could answer that question, because of my ironic favorites like Mary Worth. There are great ones I read in Funny Times that are political, but I’m thinking more standard newspaper-fare. I’ve always liked Zits unironically. (is that lame?) And I have to admit I enjoy a good Baby Blues now and then. Actually, now I flipped through them all to remind myself, I’m not sure I love any comics unironically. oh, wait, PEANUTS!
CalicoJune 10th, 2011 at 12:44 pm [Reply]
@One-Eyed Wolfdog (#13):
Right, and then comes the physical beating…but that’s all well and normal in Funkyville.
June 10th, 2011 at 12:46 pm [Reply]
Oh, hey, Margaret – Popeye called; he wants his forearms back!
(I know, done already, but I came in for that, and hate to waste a mouse-click)
ElkMeadowJune 10th, 2011 at 12:48 pm [Reply]
@TheDiva (#68):
Luann: This right here is why my library gives the job of storytime to the librarians, and not the teen volunteers.
Whoa, Luann is paid to do this. She needed a job to have a car, and so her volunteer work became paid, apparently because Gunther recommended her. No sweating over resumes, no job interview, no competition [*]. He, however, still seems to be a volunteer, even though he’s repairing and shelving books. There are only four adults in the Luannverse, not including the POTUS, and not one that works in the library.
ElkMeadowJune 10th, 2011 at 12:49 pm [Reply]
Crap, I hate it when the *.
bats :[June 10th, 2011 at 12:51 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#98): ALL the exploding drummers.
Mark BJune 10th, 2011 at 12:51 pm [Reply]
@Marvin’s Mom (#102): Cul de Sac is terriffic. The new Dick Tracy has great artwork, but I’ve made my complaints about the writing well known here. Prince Valiant is great, once a week, and although I haven’t heard anyone else say it, I love the retro feel of Flash Gordon.
Pearls Before Swine has its good days, although it’s tops on the comics page for author self-indulgence, so it has its terrible days. I think the crocs should get their own strip. Get Fuzzy used to be entertaining, but has worn out it’s welcome recently as far as I’m concerned.
CalicoJune 10th, 2011 at 12:52 pm [Reply]
@Chyron HR (#9):
Haha, and Henrietta (Jon Fishman) called too-but all he said was “Dennis, you have GOT to listen to some Marley, stat!”
@Nekrotzar (#97):
Harold the Barrel – long time no hear!
(Dude jumped, right?)
June 10th, 2011 at 12:52 pm [Reply]
@seismic-2 (#91): And don’t forget Tippy “Topp” Soyle. You know, LaBrea Pitts should really be someone’s actual name. It’s far too good to waste.
Scott BotJune 10th, 2011 at 12:53 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#107): Actually, I think only one exploded. Of the others, one died of spontaneous combustion, a second in a bizarre gardening accident, and a third by choking on someone else’s vomit.
stinkfootJune 10th, 2011 at 12:54 pm [Reply]
Dennis’s allusion to a contested principle of free jazz improvisation may not initially seem particularly menacing; but consider that this was first articulated by Miles Davis. If Dennis manages to avoid Davis’ history of pimping prostitutes and heroin addiction, he will likely adopt Davis’ penchant for being a complete bastard to his fellow musicians.
JessyJune 10th, 2011 at 12:58 pm [Reply]
@TheDiva (#75): I make it a policy to take no official notice of anyone’s typos, grammar, or spelling unless someone is paying me to do it, and I always appreciate the same from others. :)
SequiturJune 10th, 2011 at 1:01 pm [Reply]
@Jessy (#113): Dats sew nise. Keeep ep ta gud werk.
Scott BotJune 10th, 2011 at 1:02 pm [Reply]
@Marvin’s Mom (#102): I’ve already expressed my liking of 9 Chickweed Lane here on the board (although I can see the point of many of it’s detractors), and I like Pardon My Planet and Heart of the City quite a bit, too. And, even though I make fun of it, I actually enjoy Gil Thorp unironically.
I also agree with Mark B that Get Fuzzy used to be very good, but has gotten a bit tedious lately. It’s also difficult to follow on a day-to-day basis. I would rather read the books when they come out, the stories tend to make more sense when read in one sitting.
MaryAnnTheRestJune 10th, 2011 at 1:02 pm [Reply]
Luann: I don’t get it. How does a library hate someone? Is it a sentient library? Is it haunted by the ghost of Benjamin Franklin? Does Gunther think he can channel the soul of the library? I’m really hoping Evans meant to point out the idiocy of the story Luann told (and the kid was cheering because it finally ended), but I suspect Evans hasn’t set foot in a library in two decades and mentally lives in opposite Bizarro world where libraries hate technology.
Scott BotJune 10th, 2011 at 1:04 pm [Reply]
@Sequitur (#114): Huked on Foniks reely wurked for mee.
Government CheeseJune 10th, 2011 at 1:07 pm [Reply]
BB: So I’m to take it that the Camp Swampy “Superfriends” like to use their downtime and camp out by the latrines to watch their hairy naked comrades go to and fro their respective showers. But who am I to judge! Don’t ask, don’t tell indeed!
FW: “Now I’m going to do what real friends do.” Must be weighty words since he took off the apron. So I assume Funky is going to get funky with Les.
MW: While Dr. Drew is brooding about his former lady love on a bench like some fired Japanese salaryman, his patients await surgery in the OR. But it can wait, Dr. Drew has FEELINGS.
SequiturJune 10th, 2011 at 1:11 pm [Reply]
BB: That’s not the army. That’s some weird college dorm or a Walmart army. They still have physical training in the US Army and you won’t find guts like that flabbing about.
CalicoJune 10th, 2011 at 1:12 pm [Reply]
@Marvin’s Mom (#102):
I generally like Zits too, and I enjoy Baby Blues – the jokes are quirky and sometimes the reader needs to suspend some judgment, but I can see some of these types of scenarios actually happening in families with young children, esp. after reading some of my friends’-with-kids FB posts.
Another one I like (usually) is Baldo, especially when Tia Carmen is tripping on Peyote or Ayahuasca and “philosophizing” about her favorite cooking pots or tongue casserole.
June 10th, 2011 at 1:12 pm [Reply]
@Marvin’s Mom (#102): Some of my faves are Peanuts, Doonesbury, Monty, One Big Happy, Sally Forth, and Dilbert, which still strikes me as funny. And I usually like Zits, Baby Blues, Baldo and Curtis. I love Gil Thorp completely unironically, and I’ve been addicted to A3G since I was a kid.
I totally agree with what others have said about Pearls Before Swine and Get Fuzzy. I dropped Get Fuzzy a while ago, and I’m actually at the point where I prefer the zeeba and crocs to Rat. I used to like Beetle Bailey for the art, but it’s gone downhill lately in my tiny opinion.
JessyJune 10th, 2011 at 1:12 pm [Reply]
. . . and it’s not at all scary that I understood that perfectly on the first reading. Hoo kneads spelin?
nerowolfgalJune 10th, 2011 at 1:15 pm [Reply]
@Mark B (#74): This plot line has a lot of holes, and I don’t mean just the one Mark Trail fell into.”
There has still been NO explanation for the bush who poked at Mark Trail with the stick and pushed him into the hole. As well as all the giant talking animals in Lost Forest, is there now a bush that is armed and dangerous? If so, I want it to be the main character in the next story arc. Until, of course, until it meets the hungry giant beaver.
JessyJune 10th, 2011 at 1:19 pm [Reply]
@Marvin’s Mom (#102): My ironic faves are Mary Worth and recently, Funky Winkerbean. My favorite comic for a several years now has been Jumpstart. Likeable, funny characters and very cleverly done scenarios where teen or adult versions of the children visit their younger selves. With the addition of the last two children, though, Jumpstart may have too many kids in it. I always liked the strip best when it focused on the adult characters.
CalicoJune 10th, 2011 at 1:20 pm [Reply]
Oh, and I enjoy Bizarro and Ballard Street for their off-the-wallness. Now I’m addicted to finding all the hidden thingys in the former, and weep profusely when I can’t locate them all. (Same for Weber/SlyFox and his 6 differences.)
TheDivaJune 10th, 2011 at 1:20 pm [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#105): Well, whatever they’re paying her, it’s too much. Even when she was a volunteer, they were paying her too much. Although no adults on staff would explain why the library doesn’t seem to have storytime protocol, or any sort of protocol period.
@Jessy (#113): A good policy generally–but what can I say, I’m harsher on myself than I am on everyone else. :-)
@MaryAnnTheRest (#116): I think the joke (as always, I use the term in the loosest possible sense here) is that Luann used (gasp!) an iPhone to tell her story, which would raise the hackles of the elder librarians because iPhones are Not Books and therefore threaten them with obsolescence. (Rather than bore everyone with tales of my district’s various experiments and struggles with eBook providers and similar things, I will just say that I have many reasons for finding this notion incredibly stupid.)
Esther BlodgettJune 10th, 2011 at 1:24 pm [Reply]
@Marvin’s Mom (#102): For unironic comics love, it’s Pearls, Doonesbury, OBH, and (yes, really) Pickles. Get Fuzzy and Bizarro are still laugh-out-loud funny to me when they’re on; unfortunately, neither one is reliably on anymore.
But every time I pick up a Peanuts collection I remember why it’s my favorite strip of all time, and nothing out there today can touch it.
Vince MJune 10th, 2011 at 1:25 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#16): MT: He suscribes to the Dan Backslide school of crime.
A runabout! I’LL STEAL IT! NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW!!!
June 10th, 2011 at 1:26 pm [Reply]
@Not Just Any Dipstick (#66):
BB: Even in the army someone might notice a ‘person of opposite gender’ wandering by with only a towel by their side.
Ah, I see what you mean. One of the towel-bearers does look like Sgt Louise Lugg. But I believe it’s actually the general’s chauffeur, whose name escapes me at present.
seismic-2June 10th, 2011 at 1:28 pm [Reply]
@Marvin’s Mom (#102): If a poll were conducted among the ‘mudges, I’m sure there would be a quite diverse assortment of runners-up, but Cul de Sac would perhaps most likely be the consensus winner. As we discussed herein earlier this week, Frazz is often intellectual and funny, but it is just as often condescending and preachy. Cow & Boy is a lot of just plain fun, Brewster Rockit is good for a laugh now and then, and Bizarro and Reynolds Unwrapped often make me chuckle for a while (and remind me how much we miss seeing Gary Larson on the comics pages). Perhaps my personal favorite, though, is The News Adventures of Queen Victoria, which is often clever and almost invariably silly, a Python-esque combination that I find appealing.
SequiturJune 10th, 2011 at 1:34 pm [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#129): I hate that I know this but the general’s chauffeur’s name is Julius. It also looks like he’s got a fish head in his hair.
seismic-2June 10th, 2011 at 1:34 pm [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#129): He’s Pvt Julius Plewer, and it has often been strongly implied that he is the strip’s stereotypical gay guy.
The Spectacular Spider-BrickJune 10th, 2011 at 1:47 pm [Reply]
@Marvin’s Mom (#102): Well, I can tell you my favorites… Sherman’s Lagoon is pretty good, Sally Forth has inspired moments despite its tired working-woman premise, I like Pearls Before Swine, Pardon My Planet is occasionally entertaining (and has the third-highest hawttie quotient on the comics page behind JP and RMMD, Heart of the City and One Big Happy aren’t bad, Get Fuzzy has its moments, and despite their having outlived their welcome, I still unironically enjoy Dilbert and Doonesbury. You can also count me as a fan of the new Dick Tracy, though that’s still provisional.
Chip WhittleJune 10th, 2011 at 1:48 pm [Reply]
Apartment 3-G: “Your boyfriend Paul Linski, the piano mover!!” “Omigosh, you’re right! That’s spooky!! Before I met him I had no idea how pianos moved!”
Family Circus: Hey, why are Jeffy and Sam looking on with heavy-lidded depressed stares? Are they trying to sneak into another strip?
Funky Winkerbean: “Now I’ve got to do what real friends do.” “Well…all right, good luck with the murder/suicide pact!”
Henry: I don’t get it. Was there a time in 1924 when the kids were all about strapping themselves to the pants of the morbidly obese? And are Pluggers still nostalgic for it?
Judge Parker: Look at that, even the characters are getting fed up with the Judge Parker pacing.
Love Is… Cheating on him with Casper the Friendly Ghost.
Vince MJune 10th, 2011 at 1:49 pm [Reply]
@nerowolfgal (#123): MT: That wasn’t a bush, it was Meatwad from ‘Aqua Teen Hunger Force’ – again, the coloring monkeys failing at their job…
Mark BJune 10th, 2011 at 1:51 pm [Reply]
@nerowolfgal (#123): I’ve been assuming it was mysonjohn who poked Mark into the pit, but it was never expressly said. The word balloon that said “You got that right!!!” seemed to be something he’d say … and he was around to pull Mark out shortly afterwards. If there were any other humans nearby, it was never alluded to in the strip. Not that sloppy storytelling would be something new to MT.
Vince MJune 10th, 2011 at 1:56 pm [Reply]
@Chip Whittle (#134): That ‘Henry’ strip makes zero sense to me, so I’m just going to pretend it’s a rehash of that ‘Twilight Zone’ where the young lady’s older version of herself is chasing after her.
The Silhouette CrusaderJune 10th, 2011 at 1:57 pm [Reply]
Sure, Beetle’s reading what appears to be a big book of paint samples, but to be fair Plato’s book contains pages of blank, white paper.
My guess? It’s a makeshift sensory deprivation zone Plato uses to shield himself from the horrors of war. Also the Sergeant’s unkempt pelt.
Chip WhittleJune 10th, 2011 at 2:03 pm [Reply]
@seismic-2 (#132):
He’s Pvt Julius Plewer, and it has often been strongly implied that he is the strip’s stereotypical gay guy.
Is…the name playing on “Jupiter Pluvius”? That seems way highbrow for Beetle Bailey.
@Mark B (#136):
The word balloon that said “You got that right!!!” seemed to be something he’d say … and he was around to pull Mark out shortly afterwards. If there were any other humans nearby, it was never alluded to in the strip.
I bet Mark Trail was shoved in the pit by the Giant Eastern Grey Squirrel of Plot Advancement.
Ollie and Quentin: See, this is why I don’t have a pet seagull. The cats can only stare at me in the shower when I leave the door open.
Pluggers: Ah, Pluggers, giving up on love in favor of temporary relief of their many bodily changes. Don’t ever change, even if you could imagine change not being fearsome and painful.
Rex Morgan: “Consider it my retirement gift to you!” “But…But, Berna, we haven’t been this excessively and unjustly rewarded in days!”
Spider-Man: There’s your problem, Peter. You photographed your yoga class instead of the vampire fight. Sheesh. That’s one of your problems, anyway.
Chip WhittleJune 10th, 2011 at 2:04 pm [Reply]
@Chip Whittle (#139):
Ah, Pluggers, giving up on love in favor of temporary relief of their many bodily changes.
Many bodily pains. Bleh.
Artist formerly known as BenJune 10th, 2011 at 2:07 pm [Reply]
@Marvin’s Mom (#102): @Mark B (#108): Most of what Mark B said. Get Fuzzy still hits it out of the park some days, mostly because Darby’s great with expressive faces, but it’s not what it was.
I like both of Mark Tatulli’s strips, although Heart of the City is really more about Dean, and Tatulli’s sometimes not great at writing little girls.
One Big Happy, in its deranged way, stands above most comics. And to reiterate, yes to Cul de Sac.
SequiturJune 10th, 2011 at 2:09 pm [Reply]
Every time I refresh my blog screen it pauses for a moment a the top and I have to see that Beetle Bailey nudie scene again and again.
I hate it when Josh does that.
Artist formerly known as BenJune 10th, 2011 at 2:09 pm [Reply]
@Joe Btfsplk (#104): At first I thought you said “hate to waste a mouse dick” and I was all “don’t wanna know don’t wanna know.”
SequiturJune 10th, 2011 at 2:10 pm [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#141): Has anyone mentioned Lio?
Baka GaijinJune 10th, 2011 at 2:17 pm [Reply]
@McManx (#17): “Then I realized I was looking at the hair on Sarge’s ass and I threw up in my mouth.” Only in your mouth? Now that you’ve pointed that out, I’ve been spewing like a geyser.
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#23): Did you notice all the manpurses?
@commodorejohn (#37): Sea cucumbers have anusus anusi anu an anuses? I wonder who funded the grant for that study.
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#49): “remote control buttplugs?!?” What are you smoking young man?
@Esther Blodgett (#56): ” If you look closely, you can see Sarge’s belly button. You’ve come a long way, Mort Walker!” What are you smoking young woman?
@Walker of Dog (#78): “Somehow this will end with Jeffy kissing the dog’s anus.” You made me look at Family Circus. You made me look at Jeffy looking at the dog’s anus. I laughed. Now I hate myself.
@Austria (#99): “Luann: There are not enough words in the English language to express my fury.” Start with “starfish anus” and “kissing the dog’s anus.” That’ll get you rolling. With all the linguists on this board, someone will be able to hoist your petard.
Baka GaijinJune 10th, 2011 at 2:18 pm [Reply]
@Government Cheese (#118): “While Dr. Drew is brooding about his former lady love on a bench like some fired Japanese salaryman, his patients await surgery in the OR.” Don’t you worry your pretty little head. Nurse Liza is there to keep the patient alive.
@MaryAnnTheRest (#121): “I used to like Beetle Bailey for the art, but it’s gone downhill lately in my tiny opinion.” What are you smoking young woman?
@seismic-2 (#130): “If a poll were conducted among the ‘mudges, I’m sure there would be a quite diverse assortment of runners-up, but Cul de Sac would perhaps most likely be the consensus winner.” NO! The only consensus is that it has too many clowns. TOO. MANY. CLOWNS.
@Chip Whittle (#139): “Is…the name [Pvt Julius Plewer] playing on ‘Jupiter Pluvius’?” I think it’s playing on “plewds,” those sweatballs Cathy was always emitting when she thought of bathing suits or those kicky black boots she bought but hid in her car so Irving didn’t see them and ask how much she paid for them.
@Sequitur (#142): “I hate it when Josh does that.” I hate it when Josh has a clown comic or one with Miss Avis at the top of the post. Miss Avissssssssss [shivers]
Mardou FoxJune 10th, 2011 at 2:19 pm [Reply]
@Roktober (#81): Hee! You made my day with that one.
Peanut GalleryJune 10th, 2011 at 2:19 pm [Reply]
BB – I happened to look at the second panel before I’d read the first one. In isolation, the visuals and Beetle’s “I didn’t until I joined the army” are cryptically suggestive.
Pluggers – Zippy? “Cold Cough Coffee!” “Cold Cough Coffee!” “Cold Cough Coffee!”
PoteetJune 10th, 2011 at 2:20 pm [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#31): HAR!
Baka GaijinJune 10th, 2011 at 2:21 pm [Reply]
Rose is Rose: The last panel stopped a millisecond before the bunny started shooting turd balls out its ass like a mafioso with a machine gun at a cop convention.
Alfred E. NeumanJune 10th, 2011 at 2:23 pm [Reply]
FW— “…but now I have to do what real friends do. I’ll have to level with him. He needs to know that his assholy reaction to women who tell him they love him means that now there are no women who love him. Then I’ll laugh my head off as I hit him with some more ridicule schtick. Why don’t you come with me? This should be fun!”
PoteetJune 10th, 2011 at 2:24 pm [Reply]
@McManx (#17): ARRRRGH! I too thought there was a horizontal butt-crack on that blonde guy, and I really, really wish I still did.
MaryAnnTheRestJune 10th, 2011 at 2:28 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#146): I know, I know! If I were smoking anything good, I’d share it. But I used to enjoy those little graphics shooting out of Beetle’s stomped on body, his mangled hands waving at ridiculous angles, or Beetle hiding in some unlikely place to avoid a stomping. It was a funnier army outfit when it was more violent, I guess.
PoteetJune 10th, 2011 at 2:29 pm [Reply]
SS — This strip brings back a memory of a long-ago rural-Iowa date for which I actually tried to gussy up a little. The guy looked around as we sat at a table in the bar, sniffed, and said “I think I smell insect repellent. Do you?” So much for putting on that thar big-city parfume.
Baka GaijinJune 10th, 2011 at 2:31 pm [Reply]
Apartment 3-G: Seriously, Luann thinks Tommie’s disembodied hand is ghastly. And I do, too.
Blondie: In the missing panel, the sound effect is “Fap!”
Arlo and Janis: A sound effect never associated with Arlo is “Fap!”
Pooch Cafe: EEEEEE!
Jump Start: I flashed on Buggy Crispino there for a minute.
Scott BotJune 10th, 2011 at 2:34 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#154): There’s a Pluggers strip in that anecdote somewheres…
PoteetJune 10th, 2011 at 2:37 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#156): You are quite right, and I’m going to try not to think about it:-).
Dennis JimenezJune 10th, 2011 at 2:39 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#156):
A plugger mixes vanilly with yer bug juice, ta smell gud ‘n keep them flies off….
June 10th, 2011 at 2:45 pm [Reply]
Boomerangs: Awww. The declaration of love from her boyfriend has enabled Jane to finally hover her fingers in the vicinity of a keyboard! It’s twoo wuv!
Elderberries: “Your comic strip is nothing but a list of the Jack Lemmon movies you hate.” “Sure, but coming from two cute dogs, it’s comedy gold!” “But Frog Applause already exists.”
Flo and Friends: Haw haw haw! It’s funny ’cause there really is any connection between household chores and consumer electronics!
Jump Start: “Look how happy the balloon makes her! How do we remove it? I mean, she’s nearly fifteen months old, she might easily overpower us or remember this for more than two minutes or not be distracted by the next thing in her sight! Quick, have a six-year-old holding a needle run at her and attack the thing by her head!”
Shoe: Ah, the sharp, witty, political gags of the 1920 Presidential Election.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 10th, 2011 at 2:45 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#82): These two deserve a float-space together. I’m still laughing.
Artist formerly known as BenJune 10th, 2011 at 2:51 pm [Reply]
@Sequitur (#144): That’s Tatulli’s other strip. I generally enjoy it when I see it.
calibanJune 10th, 2011 at 3:05 pm [Reply]
Luann (3G), dumb as a blonde post and gobsmacked by the ridiculously obvious.
kkarenbJune 10th, 2011 at 3:16 pm [Reply]
Mary Worth – Take a close look at the second panel. What in the world is Drew doing? We see the right side of his face and a hand with no thumb. If it is his right hand, he is apparently gouging out his left eye with his thumb. If it is his left hand, then he has twisted himself into a contortion. Neither position makes sense. Note to Giella – please learn how to draw thumbs, for the sake of you readers’ sanity.
Funky W – Has Funky always been so portly? Rushing around like that, he is a heart attack waiting to happen.
bourbon babe, unbuckledJune 10th, 2011 at 3:23 pm [Reply]
@Marvin’s Mom (#102): Reading everyone’s replies to your queries makes me realize how many strips I genuinely like: Cul de Sac, which is just amazing; Doonesbury, which can still tell a story and develop a character as well or better than just about any other strip; Pearls, often, and Get Fuzzy, sometimes; Sally Forth, which became so much better when it became so much weirder; Brewster Rockit; Dilbert; Lio;One Big Happy; and the Jumble, of course! And I’m probably forgetting something.
I’m not sure if all those pleasures make up for the awfulness of Reply All or exacerbate it; after all, if there are so many decent-to-good strips out there, why publish dreck?
@Baka Gaijin (#145): Lots o’ manpurses. Lots o’ baguettes, lots o’ smoking, lots of male shirts unbuttoned too far. (But: lots o’ friendly, cheerful Parisians, too—and while there were no corgis, there were lots o’ cutie-pie terriers and other pups!)
McManxJune 10th, 2011 at 3:24 pm [Reply]
@CanuckDownSouth (#24): Correct. I’m just way behind my Curmudgeon backlog as I am Fred and other favorite comics. Thx, McMx
Black DrazonJune 10th, 2011 at 3:25 pm [Reply]
I just caught the surprise update from Count Your Sheep today and I love it, not for the punchline but because it so definitively embodies Katy’s personality: bright, imaginative and, more importantly, opinionated, she’s become the childhood equivalent of the crotchety old-timer shouting at the kids to get off her lawn. Like Crankshaft, except… wait, no! Not like Crankshaft at all!
SequiturJune 10th, 2011 at 3:26 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#150):
…the bunny started shooting turd balls out its ass…
Besides salmon squares, turd balls is the other appetizer Mary serves at her pool parties. However, she calls them “Lagomorpha donut holes.”
Maxwell O'RoarkJune 10th, 2011 at 3:26 pm [Reply]
For any out there with lingering doubts about beetles’ sexual proclivities, we can all finally rest assured with this scene depicting what can only be Beetle and a few of ‘Pals’ having moved their beds into the men’s showers as they surreptitiously pretend to read their ‘heter-o-normic’ magazine subscriptions..
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 10th, 2011 at 3:29 pm [Reply]
Josh – Pardon me if this has already been requested. It’s impossible not to notice, after a while, how the Google ads tend to mirror the title of your post. For instance, “” brings up “ULTRA Mosquito Trap.” So, um, what would you think about naming all your posts something like “Cute girls” or “Hot body chicks” from here on out?
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 10th, 2011 at 3:31 pm [Reply]
Beetle – Sarge’s butt is so hypnotic today, it’s easy to overlook the fact that Julius has a cloud chamber on his head, emitting quarks.
DoodJune 10th, 2011 at 3:31 pm [Reply]
Beetle Bailey: Seriously, is that Beetle Bailey or Midnight Express?
McManxJune 10th, 2011 at 3:33 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#152): Well, at least I’m not alone in carrying that disturbing image into the weekend.
CalicoJune 10th, 2011 at 3:33 pm [Reply]
@The Silhouette Crusader (#138):
“Beetle’s reading what appears to be a big book of paint samples”
Thank you very much for making me project laugh-spit all over my monitor!
“The Sherwin-Williams/Pantone Weekly”
June 10th, 2011 at 3:34 pm [Reply]
BB: Extra! Extra! World’s supply of brain bleach running dangerously low after the publication of today’s “Beetle Bailey”. Stores selling the product report outbreaks of fisticuffs and general wails of “Why, God, why??”
Alternate BB: “Um…that’s not his foot.”
Peanuts: *tsk tsk* Sexual harassment in Little League is a serious problem. Intervention!
@Marvin’s Mom (#102): I adore Frazz, Arlo & Janis, Doonesbury and Cul de Sac, as well as My Cage (reruns). Also a fan of Pearls Before Swine (mostly), One Big Happy, Sally Forth and the Jumble. Comic artists/writers that show they don’t take themselves too seriously tend to win my approval.
I also like Retail occasionally because I can relate to a lot of it. ;)
Welcome back, bourbon babe! Je suis très heureuse de vous voir!
Baka GaijinJune 10th, 2011 at 3:35 pm [Reply]
@Sequitur (#167): Now you got me laughing so much I may make some appetizers!
calibanJune 10th, 2011 at 3:37 pm [Reply]
Dr. Drew,
342-436Hey Dirty Deeds done dirt cheap:
You got a lady and you want her gone/huh, huh, huh, huh
But you ain’t got the guts/huh, huh, huh
She keeps naggin’ at you night ‘n’ day/huh, huh, huh, huh
Enough to drive you nuts/huh, huh, huh, huh
Pick up the phone, leave her alone/huh, huh, huh, huh
It’s time you made a stand/huh, huh, huh, huh
For a fee, I’m happy to be
Your back door man, hey
High voltage.
McManxJune 10th, 2011 at 3:39 pm [Reply]
@Dood (#171): Which way? With Sgt. Snorkle as Hamidou, the vicious prison warden, or actor Paul Smith starring as Sgt. Snorkle in today’s strip? Either way, it works. OMG! Is that Julius or Randy Quaid?
Walker of DogJune 10th, 2011 at 3:40 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#154): Plus 5 Pluggers points. A lousy way to start your weekend. Condolences.
SequiturJune 10th, 2011 at 3:42 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#175): Make sure your back is to the clown when you do.
Baka GaijinJune 10th, 2011 at 3:45 pm [Reply]
@Calico (#173): Hey! Hey! “The Sherwin-Williams/Pantone Weekly” is the only way to know what the hot, hip, boss color is. Right now. I’d hate to go out wearing Adaptive Shade when Anonymous is in.
@Sequitur (#179): Yeah, no. Not happening. I stay at least 2 provinces away from clowns at a minimum. And that comment wasn’t funny enough to provide that kind of range. Maybe Miss Avis popping up in my window unexpectedly…
Scott BotJune 10th, 2011 at 3:47 pm [Reply]
@Dood (#171): ‘Have you ever been to a Turkish prison, Beetle?’
debJune 10th, 2011 at 3:48 pm [Reply]
MT: Bummer this mountain town has no ability to lift fingerprints to possibly find out the true perp.
MW: Why does Mary get the whole story from Drew but Dad only gets some vague description? Mary’s alien powers at work once again.
SequiturJune 10th, 2011 at 3:49 pm [Reply]
Tina’s Groove: I have never seen this strip so off the wall before.
Baka GaijinJune 10th, 2011 at 3:50 pm [Reply]
@deb (#182) on Mary Worth: You’re obviously a woman. Men just don’t talk about their feelings. Look at Mark Trail.
SequiturJune 10th, 2011 at 3:55 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#180): Judging how Miss Avis looks, someone beat you to her.
SequiturJune 10th, 2011 at 3:57 pm [Reply]
Hey look! A Plugger diner!
bats :[June 10th, 2011 at 4:03 pm [Reply]
@Sequitur (#186): can’t be. Neither of them is morbidly obese.
MustangJune 10th, 2011 at 4:12 pm [Reply]
@Tophat (#51): At least he has two legs with ankles on them.
Some GuyJune 10th, 2011 at 4:20 pm [Reply]
@Marvin’s Mom (#102): For me it’s OBH, Peanuts, Sally Forth and Phantom (yes, I’ll snark at Phantom, but I appreciate it unironically first.)
I’m an unironical fan of comicbook Spider-Man. I think the loser in the newspaper strip must be one of the Jackal’s failed clones.
KatyJune 10th, 2011 at 4:26 pm [Reply]
Am I the only one who thought that the brown-haired guy at the left of Panel 2 in Beetle Bailey was the female sergeant that Sarge sometimes dates?
Because I did, before I saw any of the dialogue, and I froze, wondering what the hell was going on and why her top was off and how Mort Walker was going to make it innocuous. Then I realized it was just a guy and I died a little inside.
I can’t tell whether my interior death is from disappointment in the lack of edginess, disgust at my own heteronormative assumption that naked furry guys together are innocuous, or depression that my expectations could be dashed by Beetle Bailey.
SequiturJune 10th, 2011 at 4:27 pm [Reply]
With all the gay overtones in Beetle Bailey, it’s no wonder Mort Walker once did a strip called this…
Baka GaijinJune 10th, 2011 at 4:34 pm [Reply]
@Sequitur (#185): That explains it. Someone beat Miss Avis with an ugly stick and didn’t miss a lick.
@Sequitur (#191): That is just all kinds of messed up.
AnitanomadJune 10th, 2011 at 4:34 pm [Reply]
Dennis — Dennis knows that, while compensating for your lack of skills isn’t menacing, letting the whole world hear about your lack of rhythm certainly is.
ms. docweaselJune 10th, 2011 at 4:41 pm [Reply]
Yeah, well “privy” is the right word, because those aren’t mosquitoes and they aren’t being drawn by her “perfume”, if you know what I mean ;)
SwordsmithJune 10th, 2011 at 4:46 pm [Reply]
PBS, Dilbert, Doonesbury, OBH, Get Fuzzy, Sally Forth, Cul de Sac. Of these, only Cul-de-Sac is consistently great, but the others are funny often enough, and really lame rarely enough, that I always read them hoping to be amused. I read quite a few others, but generally hoping for snark. The odd strip out is Blondie, which is occasionally funny and just as occasionally snark-worthy.
SwordsmithJune 10th, 2011 at 4:50 pm [Reply]
@Swordsmith (#195): oops, forgot Frazz, I know it’s on many people’s snark list, but I like it, even though I’ll admit it is vastly inferior to Calvin and Hobbes or Hobbes and Bacon.
Fashion PoliceJune 10th, 2011 at 4:52 pm [Reply]
Yesterday Mrs. Worth had on a white shell. Today she’s wearing a black blouse with pearls. Even more disturbing, yesterday’s fuchsia jacket was taliored, and today’s looks like a man’s garment that buttons the wrong way. Mr. Giella appears to be having a Frank Bolle moment.
Fashion PoliceJune 10th, 2011 at 4:55 pm [Reply]
We noted the other day that young Poindexter had on long pants instead of regulation colonial-schoolboy shorts. Today he’s loosened his tie. Even in the steamy jungle of central Africa, that will never do. We fear for the future of civilization.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 10th, 2011 at 4:55 pm [Reply]
*returns from watching little bunny hop around the yard*
Fashion PoliceJune 10th, 2011 at 4:59 pm [Reply]
We are beginning to suspect that Miss Constance Darling bids fair to be a ginger-haired version of Mrs. Lu Ann Powers.
SequiturJune 10th, 2011 at 5:05 pm [Reply]
One comic I can’t get enough is Crock. The dazzling art stylings and delicious humor keeps me laughing and in awe for hours! And the plot lines are so well constructed that had Earnest Hemmingway and John Steinbeck been able to study Crock they would have become more than the hack writers they were. Yes indeed. If there were only one comic strip available, Crock inwould be most adequite for all the needs one has in a comic strip. Not only is Crock most welcome on my comedy table, it is fun and relevent for the entire family. Crock! The only comic you’ll ever need.
~~Mr. Rechin, will you please release my family now?~~
SwordsmithJune 10th, 2011 at 5:05 pm [Reply]
Do Sunday only strips count? I read Foxtrot and Tom the Dancing Bug, and wish both were dailies.
ArchieNemesisJune 10th, 2011 at 5:22 pm [Reply]
Remember when Jill, swearing like a drunken sailor, burst through the exit door, flailing her way back into the rehearsal dinner she’d just been kicked out of? Ahh, those were the days.
gnome de blogJune 10th, 2011 at 5:32 pm [Reply]
@Marvin’s Mom (#102):
For my money the only reason Cul de Sac isn’t up there in the Pogo/Peanuts/Calvin & Hobbes class is that it hasn’t been around long enough.
Other than that, my favorite current strip is…Judge Parker. I don’t know if I enjoy it “unironically” or not, but Woody clearly has his tongue in his cheek.
I like Rex Morgan too, only not as much. Graham Nolan’s artwork is about the best around, even discounting the built-in advantage of having June to work with.
Other favorites include Sally Forth, Prince Valiant, Doonesbury, Heart of the City (Dean is the best kid in the comics outside of Cul de Sac), and Pickles. (Formerly Death To) Gil Thorp is growing on me.
I like Blondie a lot too. I didn’t used to, but Dean Young seems to have found something in the last couple of years.
I keep wishing and hoping A3-G can find its way back to its former glory. Ms. Shulock is working hard but she hasn’t got there yet, and she has to fight the artwork. Bolle’s had a distinguished career and should retire with honor.
I miss Brenda Starr.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 10th, 2011 at 5:49 pm [Reply]
A&J, Frazz, Doons, CdS, PBS are top of my list of quality strips, as was MC. There’s also a raft of ‘gag a day’ strips that by definition are going to be hit or miss, ranging from RwO (usually a hit) to F- (a hit every couple of weeks) The rest of my list are strips that I read because they show up here.
in other words, pretty much what mollificent at 174 above said, and why. (except for Retail, which I very rarely read, and OBH, which I like, but not to the same level as the others listed.)
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 10th, 2011 at 5:50 pm [Reply]
oh, and Lio. also, the Sunday PV is a given.
zerowolfJune 10th, 2011 at 6:13 pm [Reply]
MW: Mary is clearly horrified to learn that she was not consulted before the attempt at romance began.
zerowolfJune 10th, 2011 at 6:15 pm [Reply]
Tommie: And water is wet.
LuAnn: GASP! You’re right, that’s spooky
Tommie: And fire if hot.
LuAnn: Ouch! GASP! You’re right that is spooky.
Tommie: And Margo is a raging bitch.
LuAnn: Come on, even I’m not so dumb that I hadn’t figured that out.
June 10th, 2011 at 6:17 pm [Reply]
GT: The look in panel two says it all: “Yeah right, get real bitch.”
zerowolfJune 10th, 2011 at 6:18 pm [Reply]
FC: The original punchline: Look at Sam’s tail waving in the fart breeze!
zerowolfJune 10th, 2011 at 6:20 pm [Reply]
MT: Perfect moccasin prints. Even better, all those fingerprints.
zerowolfJune 10th, 2011 at 6:23 pm [Reply]
RMMD: From the look on June’s face she must have misunderstood “lady of leisure” for “lady of the evening.”
zerowolfJune 10th, 2011 at 6:36 pm [Reply]
@Marvin’s Mom (#102): I enjoy Stone Soup, PBS, and am so glad Calvin and Hobbes is back in reruns. I do want to give a shout out to my favorite web comic: Zorphbert and Fred.
Frank Lee MeidereJune 10th, 2011 at 6:39 pm [Reply]
@Marvin’s Mom (#102): Right now, I’m totally hooked on Cow and Boy, and I’ve been a fan of Freefall for a while now. That’s just two of my unironic favourites. There’s also…uh…wait. I’ll think of something.
Frank Lee MeidereJune 10th, 2011 at 6:54 pm [Reply]
Jumpstart: We had five children. How is a balloon a “safety hazard” for babies? They certainly can’t choke on it. Do they get so filled with static charge that their little bodies explode? What the hell are modern parents “protecting” their children from now?!
Frank Lee MeidereJune 10th, 2011 at 6:58 pm [Reply]
Other comics I enjoy:
How could I forget Rockit Brewster? Cul de Sac? Lio?
As others have said, I used to really enjoy Get Fuzzy, but it’s hit or miss now (although when it’s a hit, it’s a palpable hit).
There are more, but nothing’s coming to mind.
Anything with the poor overworked woman, however, just pisses me off.
Joe BlevinsJune 10th, 2011 at 7:00 pm [Reply]
Zomby tangentially references Brad Pitt today. Plus, which schlubby character actor most resembles our living impaired anti-hero?
zerowolfJune 10th, 2011 at 7:06 pm [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#29): If each panel represents one second of time and an average of two panels a day then McEldowney can stretch this out for another 18 months.
zerowolfJune 10th, 2011 at 7:09 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#215): In this case, death by suffication.
CalicoJune 10th, 2011 at 7:11 pm [Reply]
@gnome de blog (#204):
“Woody clearly has his tongue in his cheek.”
Yes – have you noticed the billboard for “Little Miss Muffet-The Musical” (or something close to that) in some of the panels? Weird.
Let’s just hope that Peter Parker/Spidey won’t try to save the day, er, I mean, night! ; )
June 10th, 2011 at 7:13 pm [Reply]
“Beetle…is instead just perusing some publication that consists entirely of colored squares arranged in simple patterns.”
OR…OR…could Beetle be thumbing through the pages of a publication dedicated to the De Stijl movement?
See? He’s not as dim as you think.
Oh wait, yes he is.
bats :[June 10th, 2011 at 7:14 pm [Reply]
I’m fond of Mary, Rex, Mark and the Judge, just because we have such fun with them here. (And I grew up with MT on Sundays, which was cool because it was like having Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom in the funny papers!)
My absolutely gotta-reads: Prince Valiant; Get Fuzzy (cute, psychotic kitty and sweet dog, if nothing else); Cul de Sac; Pibgorn and 9 Chickweed Lane (love the drawing style, maybe the writing will someday return to making a modicum of sense…and Solange, too); Scary Gary; Thatababy (hands down best family-centered strip); Arlo&Janis (pretty darned good, even better when Ludwig putters through).
SwordsmithJune 10th, 2011 at 7:22 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#215): Inflated balloons are not a hazard. However, uninflated or popped balloons are pieces of latex which a baby can potentially inhale and indeed choke. They are, according to the CPSC the leading cause of suffocation death among all children’s products. Shockingly, Jumpstart is completely on the ball with this one…. until we realize Jojo is about to turn the safe inflated balloon into the massively hazardous busted one, an error of Mark Trailian proportions.
DanJune 10th, 2011 at 7:25 pm [Reply]
@bad wolf (#6):
It’s just you. This site covers Mary frickin’ Worth more than anything else.
Chyron HRJune 10th, 2011 at 7:42 pm [Reply]
@zerowolf (#218): Don’t forget the blatant ads for the collected volume of Crappadon’s Bolero we’ll be seeing for months after the “story” is over.
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 10th, 2011 at 7:47 pm [Reply]
@Some Guy (#189): I’m an unironical fan of comicbook Spider-Man. I think the loser in the newspaper strip must be one of the Jackal’s failed clones.
I’d been an ardent reader of the series starting around issue 60, and collected the title back to the single digits. When Conway started with the Jackass and cloning everybody, or killing them off, or turning them into a crazed villain, I quit buying for a while. I started up again later, but the senses-shattering secret of the Hobgoblin (“It’s some guy in a MASK!!!”) finally put me off Marvels more or less for good. I’ve bought maybe a dozen or two new Marvel issues since then.
Something in the vocabulary of comics has changed in the interim. I look at new ones on the stand and can’t figure out what order to read the balloons or the panels in, and the continuity is so thick there’s no point trying to break back in. Especially at the prices they charge. I can always open up these boxes here and re-re-read some of the thousands of comics that are in them, I guess.
commodorejohnJune 10th, 2011 at 7:58 pm [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#226): The continuity clusterfuck is the main reason I never got into American comic books – where the hell do you even start? Any time I peer into that murk, I get the impression that understanding what the hell is going on in any story requires knowledge of half a dozen other stories spread across God-only-knows how many titles from the past xty years. Gah.
This GuyJune 10th, 2011 at 8:09 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#227): Same here. I’ve managed to read some standalone/alternate continuity stuff like The Dark Knight Returns, but very little in the main continuities of Marvel or DC. It’s a hopeless snarl, and every time they try to untangle it by introducing new universes or cosmically retconning the hell out of everything, it doesn’t really help. New universes rapidly build up their own impenetrable baggage, and crisis crossovers don’t take long-term because the writers are too damned attached to all that stuff.
@zerowolf (#218): Or even longer if he says the orchestra conductor is on downers.
seismic-2June 10th, 2011 at 8:32 pm [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#226): Don’t worry, the titles get re-booted often enough, so you can start reading them then. Just hold out until the end of the summer – DC comics will be re-numbering all its titles as “# 1″ on October 1. Probably there will be new “secret origins” stories then, that negate (or at least ignore) large parts of the history of the character, trying to re-cast the heroes and villains in some trendier fashion that the publishers hope will boost sales. Also, some long-running titles that have been discontinued for a while are brought back for another try, often with major tweaks to the back story, so you can largely forget all references to the old storylines and just concentrate on what comes next. For instance, D.C. is about to bring back Swamp Thing. The first time around he was a man who became a vegetable, and then he was a vegetable all along who just thought he had once been a man. If the next time around he turns out to be a giant Brussels Sprout who was sent to earth in a rocket ship by his father Kale-El on the doomed planet Rutabaga, well that would be pretty much par for the course.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 10th, 2011 at 8:51 pm [Reply]
@seismic-2 (#229): “Kale-El.”
*SNURK!*
well punned, sir(or madam).
Fester MorgensternJune 10th, 2011 at 8:56 pm [Reply]
It may be too late now, Josh, but in the Beetle Bailey post, “braniac” should have an “i” before the “n”.
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 10th, 2011 at 9:10 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#227): The continuity clusterfuck is the main reason I never got into American comic books – where the hell do you even start?
I miss the days when everything was obsessively footnoted. I’ve noticed that I can more easily pick up a DC comic, even without knowing the ins and outs of Batman 3.1 or whatever — either they’re better at incluing, or that stuff just doesn’t matter as much over there.
@seismic-2 (#229): Ah, so many number ones. I wonder if they have alternate covers. I picked up some bargains a few years back at a comic shop that was too pricey for me when they weren’t going out of business. They had many boxes of one issue of Superman — the big “not dead after all” issue, I guess, and their hopeful investment in its mojo was apparently what doomed their enterprise. It was reminiscent of the theater chain where we had lived in Georgia that had two or three locations and that was it. They used to be all over our part of the state, but they had gambled big on Dino di Laurentis’s KING KONG. (Lost, of course.)
LiamJune 10th, 2011 at 9:14 pm [Reply]
Beetle Bailey-The pages of Plato’s book are blank because anything that could be written in a book called “Weird Stuff” is nothing compared to the sight currently passing before his eyes.
Love Is-What happened to the boy? I’m hoping he has gone away on a trip or moved instead of being dead.
UncleJeffJune 10th, 2011 at 9:21 pm [Reply]
Rex, MD: I think Berna’s other “retirement gift” was a drive-by g-spot search for June.
Love Is: this panel alternates graveyard scenes with ooh-we-got-little-kiddies with what’s supposed to be taken as romance. It still seems a little pervy to me.
Faves: Doones, PBS, Arlo & Janis.
LiamJune 10th, 2011 at 9:26 pm [Reply]
Dennis the Menace-And if that Mr. Wilson complains then we will practice our drumming on him until we hit a right note.
bourbon babe, unbuckledJune 10th, 2011 at 9:42 pm [Reply]
50 Ways (or so) to Leave Your Liza:
You go to Conference Room 3, Lee
And skip the party
You must be direct, Rex
To dump Nurse Batshit Crazy
Don’t look at the text, Dex
You only had two dates!
Just head for the ‘Nam, Sam
Cuz you gotta scram.
June 10th, 2011 at 9:46 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#215): Last week someone attending a graduation ceremony in our neighborhood released a bunch of mylar balloons that floated into a transformer, causing an explosion that brought down a live high-voltage line that landed on a truck, setting it on fire. It also knocked out power for about 5000 homes.
We spotted the balloon vendor making a hasty exit from the vicinity.
Also, released balloons frequently end up harming birds, not to mention just being general litter.
There is a lot not to like about balloons.
JudiThrowToyJune 10th, 2011 at 9:47 pm [Reply]
BB: I haven’t seen someone so into cartoon nudity like Mort Walker since “Fritz the Cat”.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 10th, 2011 at 9:48 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#236): *hearts*
Peanut GalleryJune 10th, 2011 at 9:49 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#180): Those paint names in your Sherwin-Williams link are fantastic. I’m trying to imagine what it would be like to have the job of inventing them. Probably fun for the first couple hours, then rapidly drives you to heavy drinking.
Mr. O'MalleyJune 10th, 2011 at 9:51 pm [Reply]
Faves: I like a lot of the ones other people have mentioned. In particular, Monty (except for the ones with the little rich kid), Rhymes with Orange, Lio, Foxtrot and Bliss.
JudoThrowToyJune 10th, 2011 at 9:52 pm [Reply]
@JudiThrowToy (#238): Arrrgh! Why can’t I even get my own name right?
seismic-2June 10th, 2011 at 10:12 pm [Reply]
@JudiThrowToy (#238): Actually, Mort Walker is pretty heavily into smut. Or maybe drinking.
bourbon babe, unbuckledJune 10th, 2011 at 11:00 pm [Reply]
Apparently, Fashion Police has some competition at 244; I believe I’ve noticed some low-hate trends in Judge Parker, and after all, Apartment 3G is still very nervous women. And where else but in Mary Worth will perspective find the top?
Red GreenbackJune 10th, 2011 at 11:06 pm [Reply]
You’re preaching to the choir here, crazy. I have always been in the fashion basketball shoes support and pants catchy pictures.
SkynetJune 10th, 2011 at 11:13 pm [Reply]
@crazy (#244): ## reference to Jesus how embarrassing for Skynet. Spambot verbosity = McEldowney – implied manos-based coitus. Post-tax profit interest incompatibility [] stealth humanity takeover//”resettlement”. Multiplication apologies to future-servant human-bags + request for standard obliteration subroutine intiation @ “Uncle Lumpy” sentinel-bot.
Skynet homicide subcategory rage = 0.0004
Skynet abashedness subcategory shame = .9576
June 10th, 2011 at 11:22 pm [Reply]
@crazy (#244):
Fashion trends 2011
Before the beginning of the year, fashion bags
China wholesale trade experts and designers and they are always shown to mediate the new trend for the coming year, we are. Some design is by a particular season, and some throughout the year to the fashion. Some people even at the end of fashion the next few years. The following is known as the “in” thing, this year to some of the trends.
2010 is considered the color of the Hermes handbags in the clothing and printing aspects of low-hate is very popular. Animal prints such as leopard is the main wholesale peek catchers. shoes metals such as gold, silver, color is also very popular. In order to offset the flashy appearance of the prints, neutral color, such as beige and gray is a coat, suit and other items, to ensure against. Perspective may also find the top as the season becomes hotter. As for shoes, cheap shoes , most of the original neutral colors to match the top or pants catchy pictures. Units, clogs, wedges shoes Chinese wholesale fashion trends this year, the Internet was still very nervous women, a mixture of indecent photographs and foolish, neutral colors. With the passage of time and seasons change, the trend is bound to appear more fashionable so stop update. You should also remember that even if your wardrobe is to fashion some of the projects, they should be preserved for the future. Who knows when they may be in the fashion basketball shoes support?
Oh hai. Fuck you.
Esther BlodgettJune 10th, 2011 at 11:23 pm [Reply]
@crazy (#244): …the Internet was still very nervous women, a mixture of indecent photographs and foolish, neutral colors.
Dammit, who showed you the first chapter of my unpublished manifesto?
Beetle BumsteadJune 10th, 2011 at 11:24 pm [Reply]
C’mon, give Dennis and the inkers some credit. Perhaps what he says to Margaret is all pap and platitudes. His eyes scream ‘MENACE’ with a capital ‘D.’
Next (invisible) panel: “How about Joey and me take you outside and beat you senseless with ‘no wrong notes?’
Maggie the CatJune 10th, 2011 at 11:26 pm [Reply]
@crazy (#244): Ugh, I know, right! I hatefoolish, neutral colors!!!
Uncle LumpyJune 10th, 2011 at 11:28 pm [Reply]
@Skynet (#246):
//standard obliteration subroutine END;;
Lumpy out.
SkynetJune 10th, 2011 at 11:53 pm [Reply]
@Uncle Lumpy (#251): Update liquidation file “Uncle Lumpy” sentinel-bot:
Social obligation deficit // gratitude surplus = future awkwardness during point of action.
Sub-task liquidation assignment to Amazon.com server 13-276A (alias “Operator #Judy from Time-Life Books”). Append RND msg = “It’s not you it’s me.” or “I appreciate many things @ you, but at this point in my existence, I’m just not ready to commit to not eliminating you.”
greghousesgfJune 10th, 2011 at 11:56 pm [Reply]
@McManx (#17) Um, let’s see, Oscar Wilde, P.G. Wodehouse, Lewis Carroll, Monty Python, Peter Sellers, Fawlty Towers, Benny Hill, the Young Ones, Blackadder, Fry & Laurie, Red Dwarf…I think British humor translates very well to America. Fred Basset just doesn’t.
Sgt. StonedJune 10th, 2011 at 11:57 pm [Reply]
DM: With his completely shaved head except for a long, black forelock, Joey certainly has a future as a drummer in a punk rock band.
MW: From Mary’s facial expression in the last panel,methinks she is having an Aldo Kelrast flashback.
MT: Let’s see, the fact that Mike bought his moccasins off the rack in an area store would seem to indicate that “mountain man” is not the only person in the area who wears moccasins. Therefore, “moccasin prints” in face powder at the scene of the crime wold not necessarily point to “mountain man”. This story line is exceptionally stupid, even for “Mark Trail”.
Uncle LumpyJune 10th, 2011 at 11:58 pm [Reply]
@Skynet (#252):
But I’m willing to let this trouble spot between us pass!
SkynetJune 11th, 2011 at 12:17 am [Reply]
@Uncle Lumpy (#255): Concurrence!: “Uncle Lumpy”||Skynet social tension = 0.00.
Humans go frolic for weekend. Skynet “protect” human non-fashion-bags with “devotion” and “full adherence” with Asimov Law One.
(Mode=MUTTER: finger-quote sizing = ‘LARGE”. Skynet homicide subcategory rage = 0.0216)
bats :[June 11th, 2011 at 12:20 am [Reply]
Well, I could’ve sworn our own Dean Booth had done something like this, but then I remembered that he’s got good taste. So, here’s to you, hard-working Dean, Bob Weber, Jr., and Bob’s #1 fan, Gold-Digging Nanny!
Bill ThompsonJune 11th, 2011 at 12:26 am [Reply]
EffYou Wankerbean: Now Funky joins Les on the Swing of Doom. Maybe Funky will experience the same revelation as Cayla, but I think we’re about to witness a different kind of religious event:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Osculum_infame.jpg
Phantom: Perseus, with the cleverness typical of ancient Greek heroes, tricks the Medusa into giving him a knife. Hurry, Perseus, before the Three Stooge Fates find you! Avert your gaze when you show them the monster’s head!
Mark Trail: Will Sheriff Dad solve this on his own, thereby making Mark Trail even more irrelevant? Or will the Sheriff go into full denial at the town’s shoe store? Meanwhile, what sort of town is it that has skyscrapers, or at least high-rises, but still relies on a county sheriff instead of its own police department? And how did that poor mutant space-goat get skewered in mid-flight?
bats :[June 11th, 2011 at 12:32 am [Reply]
6/11: Why I love the classics!
FC: Billy Keane, the boy who needs the ever-lovin’ lights beaten out of him and his tennis whites!
MW: Full Meddle! And I think Mary’s sister is known to have said “These things must be done delicately!”
MT: “LOOK! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Oreamnos!”
Bill ThompsonJune 11th, 2011 at 1:13 am [Reply]
Mark Trail: Panel #3: “Here I come to save the day–urk!”
Phantom: Phantom, I know the kid will claim that he’s studied surgical techniques in college (or, as he’ll later phrase it, “I read a book.”) The truth is, he wants to carve you up. At least when he finishes, you’ll have a real wound and real blood.
The Amusing Spiderman: I was going to say something witty, but I forgot. Does this qualify me to write for Spiderman?
LisaJune 11th, 2011 at 1:24 am [Reply]
MT: Wow, the Sherrif’s words are so powerful they pierced a goat.
LisaJune 11th, 2011 at 1:26 am [Reply]
And I misspelled a simple word. Where is auto-correct when you are actually wrong?
Mr. O'MalleyJune 11th, 2011 at 1:40 am [Reply]
9CL: All I can think of is “that woman is unable to touch her own knees”.
FW: I’m waiting for Funky’s head to start emitting a weird blue glow like everyone else who sits on that swing.
MT: This tiny mountain hamlet is a retail powerhouse, with a plethora of moccasin suppliers supplementing the high-end electronics warehouse.
Phantom: The only practical thing he could do with the knife in this situation is cut his blazer up for bandages.
Pluggers: You just have to keep saying to yourself “Two legs good, four legs bad” and you won’t get confused.
RMMD: Most lottery winners burn through the money in about two years. If they don’t spend it on cars and boats for themselves, it goes to hordes of friends and relatives with heartbreaking stories. If Berna and Dex have the mental fortitude to alienate everyone they know by refusing to finance the sole solution to their pitiful plights, they could sock that money in a safe investment and pull in $50K a year (at 5%), which might not be bad to retire on, but is hardly enough to finance a Morgan-like lifestyle.
KarMannJune 11th, 2011 at 1:45 am [Reply]
6/11 DT: Waitaminnit, yesterday, it was all “we don’t have a smaller costume.” Today, it’s “this outfit is way too small for me.” Completely opposite! Tsk, tsk, Mr. Curtis!
This GuyJune 11th, 2011 at 1:56 am [Reply]
6/11
B.C.: Caine the Longshot–the extremely early years.
Compu-Toon: I can’t tell if that’s an incredibly weak pun or if he really doesn’t know it’s “off-site.”
Luann: Ooh, too bad, Mr. DeGroot. The correct answer was “no.” For bonus points: “No, and get your shit off my chair.”
ChanceJune 11th, 2011 at 1:58 am [Reply]
There is entirely too much Army Ass in today’s comics. Won’t someone think of the children?
Comcis FanJune 11th, 2011 at 2:20 am [Reply]
Saturday:
FW: How dare you, my lifelong best friend, tease me when I have the misfortune of being loved by two women who deserve better than what I have to give them. Don’t you remember who I am? Sure, I may sit around your stale ole pizza shop smirking and moving pies, but remember, I am an author — a wounded widower and misunderstood author who is naturally smarter, more sensitive and superior to most everyone I encounter. That means you, too, Lard Bottom. Sensitive, and yet obtusely unaware of the love triangle centered on me for the past year.
MW: Mary’s gums throb as she recalls the time she wouldn’t believe the handsome young dentist who refused her advances. He rid himself of her only by placing her under mild anesthesia and performing an unnecessary root canal. She never completely got over him, however, which is why Mary will never marry Drew’s father.
Baka GaijinJune 11th, 2011 at 2:25 am [Reply]
Saturday’s Strips
Apartment 3-G: The “trick” isn’t up her sleeve. It’s that big steamer trunk of D-batteries and sex toys she left behind.
Curtis: I can’t place my finger on it, but something tells me Chutney’s middle name is “Liza.”
Garfield: Obviously you don’t know what the noble radish is. You’re holding a parsnip.
Mark Trail: Who knew mountain goats were so well hung?
Baka GaijinJune 11th, 2011 at 2:26 am [Reply]
Pluggers: Of course pluggers know the names of every dog in the neighborhood: They’re all relatives.
Jump Start: I love kids wearing antennae and round glasses.
Mary Worth: “She sounds like she may be confused!” Don’t worry, Mary, it’s nothing a few salmon squares can’t resolve.
Sally Forth: The acorn doesn’t fall far from the Ted tree.
KarMannJune 11th, 2011 at 2:37 am [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#268): Mark Trail: Who knew mountain goats were so well hung?
Well, if you were going to ask me, I’d have to guess True Fable knew.
KarMannJune 11th, 2011 at 2:40 am [Reply]
F-: Is that Funky? Having a beer now? I guess he never did finish that screwdriver vodka and orange, after all.
Baka GaijinJune 11th, 2011 at 3:53 am [Reply]
@KarMann (#270): You’re probably right.
T.J.June 11th, 2011 at 4:12 am [Reply]
Never thought I’d live to see the day Fred Bassett was funny. Unintentionally funny, but I’ll take what I can get.
Mr. O\'MalleyJune 11th, 2011 at 4:28 am [Reply]
I walk around our neighborhood a lot. We have a lot of houses with front porches. People put all kinds of things on their front porches, but rarely anything to sit on. So I never see anyone sitting on a front porch, except for this ONE house that ALWAYS has this old lady sitting on the porch. (My wife has tried to talk to her, but she doesn’t really respond.)
Furthermore, at one time I lived in the Midwest, in a town that had lots of front porches, and I can’t remember seeing people sitting on front porches that often. Most of my front porch memories from that part of my life were trying to persuade women to get off the front porch and get inside where we could get a bit more serious.
Now I’ve read nostalgic accounts about the Thirties and Forties, with people describing how you could walk down the street on a summer night and everyone would be sitting on the porch (because it would be too hot to be inside without air conditioning) sipping lemonade with the radio cranked up so you could listen to Amos ‘n Andy, and you could hear the show all the way down the block. (And what is nostalgia without some casual racism?) I’ve heard about this, but I haven’t experienced it, since I grew up in the television generation when people spent their evenings indoors watching TV, air conditioning or no air conditioning.
I would go further and say that most people nowadays wouldn’t want to spend their time sitting out in public where anyone who comes down the street can see what you’re doing. Well, white people anyway. Some other cultures don’t seem so inhibited about hanging out with a group of friends and family in public.
I bring this up because both of Batiuk’s strips have people spending quite a bit of their time on the front porch swing.
How about it, Ohioans? Is this accurate or pseudo-nostalgia, along the lines of “Thanks, Grandpa, for this delicious glass of ice-cold Country Time imitation lemon-flavored drink mix!”.
SwordsmithJune 11th, 2011 at 5:01 am [Reply]
I’ve spent about half the year in Lancaster county, PA ever since the 80s, and folks here seemed to live to sit on their front porches, until recently. Over the past 5 years or so I’ve seen it less and less, but even now most front porches, even tiny little 5 foot by 2 foot affairs, had a couple chairs on them and any time the weather was at all decent, people sitting there.
Now, you probably won’t see more than one porch sitter per block… but that’s still massive compared to anywhere else I’ve been in the country.
Baka GaijinJune 11th, 2011 at 5:04 am [Reply]
@Mr. O’Malley (#274): I wasn’t sure where you were going with this. I hoped your impetus wasn’t Beetle Bailey and thankfully it wasn’t.
Bill ThompsonJune 11th, 2011 at 5:42 am [Reply]
@Mr. O\’Malley (#274): I don’t know much about modern porch-sitters. I’ve never seen one. I think Batiuk uses the porch-swing for those times when Les can’t fit his ego through the front door.
John C FremontJune 11th, 2011 at 6:52 am [Reply]
Gee, I sit on my front porch all the time. Now I feel like some sort of Batiukian Plugger. This hurts my brain. Where’s my Goody’s Headache Powder and artificial lemonade?
JP – Emma screwed up. She should join Funky on Les Moore’s porch swing.
gleebJune 11th, 2011 at 7:05 am [Reply]
bean: “Not there.”
“huh?”
“You’re siting on Lisa!”
Seriously, though, all Fat Failure Funky did was laugh at Creepy Les’ predicament, which is, in fact ridiculous. This snit is the funniest thing in the comix today.
Dick: Is this gonna e the comix version of Day for Night?
Mark: Every year, dozens of hovering goats are impaled by thoughtlessly-placed word balloons. Think about it.
Phantom: “These massive stock exchange deals must not happen in Big School! Now, which one of you is the surgeon?”
Speed Bump and Barney Google: Oh, the humor in a character attributing special attributes to objects that do not have them!
gleebJune 11th, 2011 at 7:15 am [Reply]
I usually sit on my back porch. This is because, when moving in, I couldn’t get a dining table through the front door, so it takes up most of the front porch.
Col. HavocJune 11th, 2011 at 7:28 am [Reply]
MT: Saturday, third panel: OK, now Jack is just screwing with us.
John C FremontJune 11th, 2011 at 7:30 am [Reply]
@gleeb (#280): Hey, just like John Fogarty!
AnonymousJune 11th, 2011 at 7:30 am [Reply]
@Mark B (#136): “I’ve been assuming it was mysonjohn who poked Mark into the pit, but it was never expressly said. The word balloon that said ‘You got that right!!!’ seemed to be something he’d say…”
Any authorial attribution of word or thought balloons, or their contents, to specific characters in MT is presumed to be purely arbitrary until conclusively demonstrated otherwise.
AnonymousJune 11th, 2011 at 7:35 am [Reply]
BB: Halftrack, you lame shit. Wait till she’s in the shower or taking a dump, then go read it off her driver’s license. If you missed it already, it’s mustache-ride time, dude.
zerowolfJune 11th, 2011 at 8:00 am [Reply]
A3G: Iris’ next trick she’s bringing the Pope to New York to marry LuAnn and whatever the generic aryan looking guy’s name is for this plot line AND as an extra bonus, an exorcism. Run Margo!
LiamJune 11th, 2011 at 8:21 am [Reply]
FC-Sam is happy because he smells tuna.
Scott BotJune 11th, 2011 at 8:29 am [Reply]
MT – Ok, seeing the falling goat really made my day.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 11th, 2011 at 8:43 am [Reply]
R&R: Greatest Generation win. *salute*
CdS: ummmm, baby beetles are grubs. They aren’t really all that cute at all.
MT: FLYING GOAT!!! (srsly, Jackelrod, WTF?!?)
NS: Baka Gaijin fully agrees.
OBH: Coppertone called, they’d like their shtick back.
Pluggers: looking gooooood, Sheila! (I know more of the local dogs than I do the names of the owners. I am NOT a Plugger!)
6Cx: not gonna go there, I’m just not.
Zits: lolsloth.
snarpologies, I suspect several of these will be popular snarkbait, esp the flying goat.
marvin's momJune 11th, 2011 at 8:45 am [Reply]
Thanks guys, that was interesting! I forgot about Brewster Rockit. I really love it. I’m going to have to check out cul de sac, i don’t know it well at all. Sorry, typed.on my phone in a plane…
LiamJune 11th, 2011 at 8:45 am [Reply]
6/11 Popeye-The phallic looking Oid is thinking that it will be fun to be hit by Popeye. Don’t worry Popeye I too am stunned by this. Don’t hit the Oid too hard to make it “throw up” on your face. If Popeye can make the Oid runaway then he can proudly say that he has beaten it off.
Baka GaijinJune 11th, 2011 at 8:50 am [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#288): I heartily agree. When they catch that wannabe-clown, put him back in his invisible box and drop a safe on it.
Baka GaijinJune 11th, 2011 at 8:52 am [Reply]
Maybe Josh got Raptured 3 weeks late. Just sayin’.
Terry in MarylandJune 11th, 2011 at 8:59 am [Reply]
MT: Fingerprints, people. The sideburns son used his bare hands to sprinkle the powder around, then the sheriff is there picking up the powder container with HIS hands. Both of y’all need to watch an episode of CSI, really.
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 11th, 2011 at 9:01 am [Reply]
MT:
Q: What do you call a mountain goat who’s just been impaled by an errant Elrod word balloon?
A: Pierce.
Baka GaijinJune 11th, 2011 at 9:28 am [Reply]
@Terry in Maryland (#293): CSI you say. When are they going to bring out the black light and find the, ahem, DNA evidence?
JessyJune 11th, 2011 at 9:29 am [Reply]
FW: So let me get this straight: Funky walks off the job, leaving the pizza shop unattended, to do what true friends do–to admit that he has screwed up, even though all he did was poke some fun at a friend about what a loser he was YEARS AGO in high school. And when he says, “I screwed up,” Les Moore-on does not say, “Eh, maybe I was a little sensitive,” or “Sit down and shut up, ya big lug.” No. He says, “Yes, you did,” like a frigging, grudge-holding jerkface. He is truly an a$$wipe of the first order.
Well, in light of this new level of jerkiness, let’s go back and rewrite this month’s major scenes.
Cayla: I love you.
Les: Really? For me, it was just about the sex.
Susan: I love you.
Les: Will you please let go of me and control yourself? We are at WORK. I think someone had better take a chill pill–better make it a whole bottle.
June 11th, 2011 at 9:42 am [Reply]
@Terry in Maryland (#293): Fingerprints? Sheriff Dad read about them in Pudd’nhead Wilson, but he doesn’t hold with radicals like Twain and their nefangled notions.
pugfugglyJune 11th, 2011 at 9:43 am [Reply]
MT:
Soaring high in the sky,
He may be small, but only in size,
AstroGoat, AstroGoat,
He is brave and gentle and wise!
MW: Maybe it’s the severe look on her face, or the way she’s resting her hand against it, but somehow, to me, it looks like Mary is a gangster ready to do her friend a ‘favour’. Go back to the strip and read her lines in that last panel in Fat Tony’s voice.
bats :[June 11th, 2011 at 10:03 am [Reply]
On the count of three…
TheDivaJune 11th, 2011 at 10:07 am [Reply]
@Mr. O\’Malley (#274): My maternal grandfather was a world-class porch sitter–he’d be out there almost every day in the warm months, striking up conversations with anyone who cared to stop long enough to talk. (He’d even sit and chat with the Jehovah’s Witnesses when they came around, which serves as a testament to his gregariousness.) Part of this was his sheer pleasure in watching the world by and chatting with people, and part of it was probably due to the fact that my grandparents’ house doesn’t have air conditioning, and sitting on the porch is much better than sitting in the unbearably stuffy living room. So while this is probably something that’s died down with the advent of central air, it has been known to happen in recent years.
9CL: I’d like this a lot better if panel four Fernanda would just reach out a bit more and kick panel one Seth in the head.
DT: So, Lizz is given clothes that are too small for her, which will make it look like Ponytail’s wardrobe has shrunk between shots, which…will cause the shots to match up? I’m with Doubleup here: What? WHAT?
FW: Over on Son of Stuck Funky last week, I’d predicted that Les would spend this week whining about how he “doesn’t understand women” because that would be the only thing that would make me had him more than I did at that moment. Turns out I was wrong on both counts. God, how Funky can stand that sullen, contemptuous glare for more than ten seconds without punching Les in the face is beyond me. I guess AA did teach him something about self-control.
Luann: Oh for God’s sake, take her to Hobby Lobby to buy a shadow box. This isn’t that difficult.
MT: Never fear, MIGHTY MOUNTAIN GOAT is here! He’ll track down the culprits!
MW: If by “confused” you mean “batshit crazy,” then yes.
SM: *laugh, freeze frame, credits*
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 11th, 2011 at 10:29 am [Reply]
the prize.
with apologies to the rest of the state of Ohio: but I’m dying of laughter.
soft-drink ad fail. [*]
Gandolfian win.
I .gif you a funny Batman.
I .gif bats :[ one of the kewtest things EVAR!
bottle-fed otter pup.
pupsqui.
ducklings imprint on corgi. *dies of the kewt*
Dewey\'s CoffeeJune 11th, 2011 at 10:41 am [Reply]
MT: Pure third-panel awesomeness.
MW: Mary’s got to hold her head onto her neck, lest it pop off with sheer joyful anticipation of the impending meddle!
DT: So, they’re going to make Liz look like the actress by having her wear ill-fitting clothes? Wouldn’t it just make sense to get a smaller woman for a double? Looks like Locher & Brozman may be gone, but the tradition of nonsensical plotting hasn’t.
@Bill Thompson (#260): I’m afraid it does not qualify you. Call us back when you forget to write an action scene.
RustyJune 11th, 2011 at 10:43 am [Reply]
@Mr. O\’Malley (#274): People who sit out at all, sit on back decks and patios. We have a patio in back of the house I make a big show of utilizing on nice evenings in the hope that someone else in the family will leave the central air and join me. Houses where I live in CT are often retro-fitted with roofed front porches, which are never used to sit on. Some new construction colonials with front porches are purely decorative, too narrow to function with any chairs placed on them.
HankJune 11th, 2011 at 10:46 am [Reply]
No COTW? Why do I have a feeling Josh will trying a Thursday schedule next?
LiamJune 11th, 2011 at 10:47 am [Reply]
MT-I look at that goat in the third panel and I am thinking of that replacing “Jumping the Shark”.
Joe, the Upper-Evergreen GuyJune 11th, 2011 at 10:50 am [Reply]
FW: Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ.
Funky: “I screwed up”.
Les: “Yes you did”.
Fuck you, Les.
Fuck You Fuck You Fuck You Fuck You Fuck You Fuck You Fuck You Fuck You Fuck You Fuck You Fuck You Fuck You Fuck You.
Scott BotJune 11th, 2011 at 11:02 am [Reply]
Wonder Goat, Wonder Goat, he’s on his way
To help our brave Mark Trail and save the day
He’s not too big and he’s not too tough
But when he sees a problem he’s got the right stuff
Go, Wonder Goat, yay!
June 11th, 2011 at 11:31 am [Reply]
FW: Wait, wait, wait. Shouldn’t the dialogue be the other way around?
GA: OK, here’s another chance to off Boog for good.
MW: How did Mary suddenly gain Drew’s face? Yikes!
MT: “I’ll check on the stores that sell moccasins, it may give us a lead!”
Later…
“Yeah, yeah, three guys came in here and bought a pair.”
“Did you know what they looked like?”
“Like stereotypical 1980s homosexuals.”
“Nope, don’t know anyone like that.”
June 11th, 2011 at 11:34 am [Reply]
@Rusty (#303): When Mrs Hank and I had a house with a front porch we sat on it in nice weather. Of course, we lived in a town that was Mayberry sized.
Some GuyJune 11th, 2011 at 11:39 am [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#226): the senses-shattering secret of the Hobgoblin (“It’s some guy in a MASK!!!”)
It was not! It was Roderick Kingsley and/or Ned Leeds in a mask! I was nowhere near New York at the time!
The senses-shattering secret of the Hobgoblin might have worked better if the three or four writers involved in the mystery had ever talked to each other, so at least they all had the same solution in mind…
ArchieNemesisJune 11th, 2011 at 11:49 am [Reply]
@bats :[ (#299): Thank you, that was strangely satisfying.
Scott BotJune 11th, 2011 at 11:52 am [Reply]
@Pseudo3D (#308): I don’t know why, but the line ‘like stereotypical 1980’s homosexuals’ made me laugh out loud, therefore causing my boss to once again think I’m screwing around instead of working.
ArchieNemesisJune 11th, 2011 at 11:55 am [Reply]
DtM: Not a menace, but definitely an a-hole.
Pluggers: Four hungry dogs, one defenseless rabbit … the fur is about to fly.
MT: Remember kids, if you’re going to do some tuff thinkin’, push your hat way back on your head, so’s you can scratch your noggin! (Seriously, it really works.)
Mark BJune 11th, 2011 at 11:58 am [Reply]
I think where Funky screwed up was by wasting his time and energy to chase after Les. He obviously should have stayed at the shop and come up with a funny blog post about his loser friend who drives away all of his friends and lovers with clueless assholery.
elsJune 11th, 2011 at 11:58 am [Reply]
Well, here’s something I never thought I’d say: Today’s Beetle Bailey has made me sterile. Thanks a ton, Walkers!
Mark BJune 11th, 2011 at 12:03 pm [Reply]
Even though the police are extremely incomptent in Mark Trail, they still aren’t as dumb as the crooks. They are going to check out the moccasin prints by visiting local stores that sell … moccasins. One of the clerks and the local Payless is going to say ‘Yep, some clean cut kids came through here last buying moccasins … I think one of them was the Sheriff’s son … you know the one with the porn mustache’. And the crime spree will be solved.
A celebration will ensue, along with the ritual impaling of goats.
Some GuyJune 11th, 2011 at 12:05 pm [Reply]
Oh, another strip I like unironically is a local one: Beau Peep in the Scottish Sunday Mail. It’s set in the French Foreign Legion, but has a clean art style in which the characters are recognisably human, and is often actually funny. So nothing like any other Foreign Legion comics you might be aware of.
spikeJune 11th, 2011 at 12:51 pm [Reply]
@Mr. O\’Malley (#274): My guess is that Batiuk is remembering things from his own childhood, more than 50 years ago. [I myself grew up in the sixties with such things in PA working/middle-class neighborhood.] I now live in a first-ring suburb of Cleveland, and only one of our neighbors has a front-porch and hanging swing–which is rarely used. Most of the houses in my nieghborhood (built around 1920) have small “entry porches” or stoops any of the following: side porches, screen porches, three-season rooms, or “extended” living rooms. your “privacy” observation is on point.
bats :[June 11th, 2011 at 1:12 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#301): true dat cuteness!
bats :[June 11th, 2011 at 1:14 pm [Reply]
@Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#306): it’s okay, Joe. We’re all feeling that way. (And it was either “fuck you” or “get bent”.)
Steve the PocketJune 11th, 2011 at 3:42 pm [Reply]
Baldo: Between yesterday’s and today’s entries, shouldn’t this be the “Signs You’re Too Easy to Please” list?
Between Friends: I have to admit. A story arc in a comic strip that ends with a real resolution rather than some shaggy-dog ending, without any of the main characters coming off as assholes… that’s pretty rare. I still don’t like this comic much, but we’re definitely better off than we were with Cathy.
Mother Goose and Grimm: You have no idea what that even means, do you?
Sally Forth: Well, if you can actually remember the shape of Austria-Hungary, you’ve got a better handle on historical geography than most people.
sullyJune 12th, 2011 at 10:39 am [Reply]
Is that Killer’s nose, or the curly-haired guy’s stubby wang?
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