Shoe, 6/14/11
I’m sure at some point somebody involved in creating this strip considered writing a punchline that referred to all the words in Roz’s opening dialog, but then everyone concerned realized “Oh, wait, it’s just Shoe,” tasked someone with writing a hot dog joke, and then moved on with their lives.
Spider-Man, 6/14/11
Peter Parker seriously overestimates the amount approbation he receives from New York’s citizens, who mostly just point at him and jeer.
Hagar the Horrible, 6/14/11
Hagar is making a last-ditch effort to stave off situational homosexuality.
This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 14, 2011 at 08:21 am and is filed under Hagar the Horrible, Shoe, Spider-Man. | 275 responses to “” queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 14th, 2011 at 8:25 am [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#y234): ok, fine, but don’t say that I didn’t warn you. ;-)
Squirrel Girl figurine front and back.
(PG-13, NSFW, NSFH)
nescioJune 14th, 2011 at 8:28 am [Reply]
I like today’s Family Circus where Jeffy is complaining to a turtle about the uselessness of his brother P.J.
animusJune 14th, 2011 at 8:29 am [Reply]
Palilalia. That’s the word I was looking for. Looking for.
Doctor HandsomeJune 14th, 2011 at 8:30 am [Reply]
Heads up, Roz. Cosmo is planning to dine & dash.
wossnameJune 14th, 2011 at 8:31 am [Reply]
S-M – Peter now has the perfect excuse for never doing anything. “Sorry, citizen in danger, I can’t rescue you – I don’t want to take the attention away from MJ.”
Crank – So does he give the ice cream to the elderly shutins, which would be sweet? Or does he sell it to them at grossly inflated prices, which would be more Crankshaftian?
DT – Whoa, that is some awesome art! Are we to presume that Ponytail’s neck is broken?
Popeye – This is getting insanely bizarre. And I mean that in the best possible way.
A3G – Props to Shulock for making this a fun little mystery and doling out clues at an appropriate rate.
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#Y210): Sorry about the earworm. Ever since dashing off #Y206 in a fit of inebriated glee last night, I’ve been hearing the old Pepsi jingle to that tune (“Now it’s Pepsi – for those who think young!”)
animusJune 14th, 2011 at 8:31 am [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#1): That’s a squirrel girl, but it’s not the Squirrel Girl.
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 14th, 2011 at 8:34 am [Reply]
MT: How these country folk do carry on ’bout what ails ‘em. “Doc said the ol’ gallbladder’s gotta come out next week…” “Wal, one o’ my calves ez missin’!”
S. StoutJune 14th, 2011 at 8:37 am [Reply]
S-M: I love how Peter thinks he’s incredibly humble by not ruining his wife’s autograph session.
Hagar: Hagar is about to do something horrible. Run Eddie, run!
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 14th, 2011 at 8:38 am [Reply]
Shoe: Now if this were Zippy, he’d have said “Make me one with everything!”
bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi
pugfugglyJune 14th, 2011 at 8:40 am [Reply]
SM: Just look at how happy Petey is!! “Sweet, I’ll have a few hours of uninterrupted TV time, then when she comes home, I’ll have the perfect excuse to be whiney and mopey all night!!”
Shoe: For Cosmo, a hotdog is exercise: usually he just has his food mashed up into a paste so he doesn’t have to exert himself chewing.
Effluvius ErratusJune 14th, 2011 at 8:41 am [Reply]
I call bullshit, Pluggers. A Plugger would never waste cheese like that.
Doctor HandsomeJune 14th, 2011 at 8:43 am [Reply]
I’m a little uneasy about this. Mary Jane felt like “Mister MJ” in the past? An exploration of transgender issues in a newpaper strip is pretty brave. And bravery has no place in Spider-Man.
gleebJune 14th, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]
@wossname (#5): Ed Crankshaft gives ice cream to those who have both diabetes and enough dementia to not realize they shouldn’t have it. It’s all about being the last man standing.
Ethan ShusterJune 14th, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]
Once again, Spider-Man heroically chooses to walk away and do nothing.
Rocky StoneaxeJune 14th, 2011 at 8:45 am [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#y247):
Woodsy Owl was created by a major ad agency in Chicago. He was not popular at all, and in the Pacific Northwest, the costumed mascot was considered fair game by children and adult bullies, due to the spotted owl controversy. “Give a Hoot! Don’t pollute!” was his theme.
The too-preachy “Give a hoot! Don’t pollute!” catch phrase was used on a whopping 9 out of 10 Woodsy comic book covers:
http://www.comicvine.com/woodsy-owl/49-11468/
nescioJune 14th, 2011 at 8:46 am [Reply]
@Écureuil Écumant (#9): Zippy was busy writing the commentary in today’s Crock.
bourbon babe, unbuckledJune 14th, 2011 at 8:46 am [Reply]
MW: Drew, scurry off with the clipboard covering your face, duck into a broom closet, and cower against the door panting in terror; you’ll make us all happy (bonus points if you cover your ears as you scurry, shouting, “LALALALALALAICAN’THEARYOU!”).
Even better: Turn around and announce to Liza, “I was told to avoid you.” When she challenges you, saying, “Told? By whom?,” whip out a photo of Mary Worth and shove it into her face, proclaiming, “By Her!”—and watch Liza recoil and cower in terror!
MT: Dumbest plot ever—which is saying something for this strip. But if the Angry Villagers and Otter Farmers Association gather their pitchforks and torches and run to mountains, shouting, “He impregnated my goat! He made moccasins unfashionable!,” all will be forgiven.
FC: Okay, I found this kind of funny. Now excuse me; I have to join a suicidal CEO on a ledge. (I hear they’re serving meatball sandwiches!)
Doctor HandsomeJune 14th, 2011 at 8:47 am [Reply]
Psst, Lucky Eddie: it’s right down there, next to where someone wrote, “Chris Browne 6-14.”
KatyJune 14th, 2011 at 8:48 am [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#1): Oh, look. When I put my cursor on the photos, a little magnifying glass with a plus in it appears, signifying that I can zoom in if I want to.
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 14th, 2011 at 8:49 am [Reply]
9 – That was a very exciting performance. You can tell because they said “that was a very exciting performance” right there in the strip. This is a very insightful comment.
3G – Leonardo described “color perspective” years ago as being the way distant objects take on a somewhat purpled tinge. This seems to be like what’s happening in this strip, except that some distant objects don’t go through the blue-to-purple spectrum. Therefore, what’s happening is more of a “concern perspective,” where objects we don’t care much about — people milling around — go blue, whereas objects we don’t give a sweet shit about — distant buildings — take on the full violet.
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 14th, 2011 at 8:50 am [Reply]
Dennis – I call shenanigans! Every time I see Dennis, he’s wearing the same overalls and striped shirt, and most of the stuff in that basket doesn’t even have stripes on it. What does he do, spend all his time out of the spotlight compulsively putting on and taking off ensembles?
Family – “Yep! He just creeps and crawls through his dull, repetitive paces inside that circular shell o’ his. That’s all he does. Pretty damn pathetic, isn’t… whoa! I just had the weirdest feelin’! Like, I dunno, self ‘wareness? Well, it’s gone now. Stupid turtle.”
Mark BJune 14th, 2011 at 8:50 am [Reply]
I have to admit, the gullibility of the local yokels makes the job of Mark Trail’s villians a whole lot easier. I suppose, if they ever catch on, he can distract them by saying “Look over there! A giant floating goat! He’s impaled on a word balloon!”
McManxJune 14th, 2011 at 8:51 am [Reply]
Dick Tracy – Doubleup… whip… I’m suddenly gettting a Devo flashback. “Whip it! WHIP IT good!!”
Family Circus – “Run PJ! Run! It’s charging you!!!”
Spiderman – The crowd seems to enjoy making fun of how big Spiderman’s ass looks in spandex. If only he knew…
Crankshaft – Taking advantage of dementia-addled patients and sending them into diabetic comas for personal gain. God, I knew Crankshaft was a pissy old bastard, but who knew he was an Angel of Death to boot.
Phantom – Extracting a bullet with a pen knife in the dark on a conscious patient? Yep, surgery sure is tougher than it looks.
Popeye – I find it difficult to look at the Oids since the Anthony Weiner scandal broke.
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 14th, 2011 at 8:53 am [Reply]
Mark – “One of my calves is missing!” said a local man, seconds before toppling over on his side.
Phantom – Line of the day! “Surgery is tougher than it looks!” I don’t know if I’ve said this here before, but this one cries out to be on a T-shirt. Maybe one with realistic blood spattering printed on.
R=R – This gives me hope. Hope that Rose’s alter-ego might edit her family and then herself. It’s such a small step, and it would make so many people happy, and I’ll bet the headline writers would have a field day with the name “Gumbo.”
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 14th, 2011 at 8:54 am [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#y247): I was in sixth grade in the late 60s, and the classmate was several years younger when they went to DC. I think he probably got to see the original Smokey, whose song we used to sing in school. I searched out the lyrics the other day and found that there seem to be about as many verses to it as to the song about the bottles of beer on the wall.
@sexy adult costume (#y248): goddamn spamn; scramn
@wossname (#5): Are we to presume that Ponytail’s neck is broken?
No, but her ponytail will never play the violin again. Violin again!
June 14th, 2011 at 8:54 am [Reply]
squeetah haz a sad.
jazz paws!
slowsquee.
Concealment, yur doin it rong.
sea-launch of hovercorgi.
pugfugglyJune 14th, 2011 at 8:55 am [Reply]
MW: Yeah, you’d better run Drew. Once Liza has her ‘pinchy fingers’ out, she’ll latch onto you like a scorpion on a field mouse….
MT: If the ‘mountain man’ has actually stolen and consumed a coop of chickens and a calf in the last couple weeks, I think you might as well just relax and wait for his inevitable cardiac episode to finish him off.
Dennis JimenezJune 14th, 2011 at 8:56 am [Reply]
Shoe – I just know there’s some Tony Toni Tone’ Weiner joke is this, but I just can’t find it….
S-M – Oh, I don’t know, Josh – a swingin’ dick in his underroos still draws some attention, even in NYC….
HH – So they’re going around the corner to have sex – HA HA HA – An’ then Helga and Honey walk in – and Snert – Oh, that Chris Browne is a naughty boy….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 14th, 2011 at 8:57 am [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#21) on DtM: “Every time I see Dennis, he’s wearing the same overalls and striped shirt, and most of the stuff in that basket doesn’t even have stripes on it. What does he do, spend all his time out of the spotlight compulsively putting on and taking off ensembles?”
No, he whiles away his afternoons with Sharpies — drawing stripes on plain t-shirts.
Rocky StoneaxeJune 14th, 2011 at 9:00 am [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#25):
@wossname (#5): Are we to presume that Ponytail’s neck is broken?
No, but her ponytail will never play the violin again. Violin again!
Just what this strip needs — more sex and violins!
Bill ThompsonJune 14th, 2011 at 9:00 am [Reply]
@McManx (#23): Crankshaft is the Angel of Death? Close. Now we know where Masky McDeath goes when he leaves Funkytown.
Meanwhile, if Poindexter wants to make it easier to extract the bullet from the Phantom, he should light a fire. It’s always easier to cut meat when it’s properly cooked. (At least there’s no blood to make the job harder.)
bourbon babe, unbuckledJune 14th, 2011 at 9:00 am [Reply]
@McManx (#23):
“Run PJ! Run! It’s charging you!!!”
Like this?
pugfugglyJune 14th, 2011 at 9:04 am [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#24):
Mark – “One of my calves is missing!” said a local man, seconds before toppling over on his side.
Ok, I nearly snorted coffee out my nose on that one…
Mark BJune 14th, 2011 at 9:05 am [Reply]
JP: Mamma Mia, thats’a spicy meatball!
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 14th, 2011 at 9:11 am [Reply]
3G – “(Oh, relax, Susan, and just ring the darn bell!)”
Somebody should have given the artist a photo-reference. This doorway doesn’t look at all like Notre Dame Cathedral.
Dick – I just realized who else talked this way. Friday XIII, the King of Calendar Land. The Kind of Calendar Land!
Mark BJune 14th, 2011 at 9:14 am [Reply]
I gotta give credit where credit is due. I’ve been pretty hard on the new Dick Tracy team lately, but today’s strip is about as perfect as a daily strip can be. Incredible artwork, and an important character development. Doubleup isn’t just a guy who talks funny, he’s a seriously dangerous psycho, seriously dangerous psycho!
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 14th, 2011 at 9:15 am [Reply]
Here’s the reference for King Friday XIII, by the way. I’m the Kip who provided the audio of the (rare, out of print) LP linked in the article, and the zip file is less than 20MB. It’s funny stuff, and touching as well — Fred “Mr.” Rogers doesn’t appear “onscreen” in this one, but his voice is in the puppet characters.
Alan's AddictionJune 14th, 2011 at 9:18 am [Reply]
Today’s “Shoe” is funny if you live in Korea or Vietnam. Otherwise, it’s kind of a puzzling zen koan about the linkage between pets and eating them.
The fact that the “adoring fans” portrayed in today’s Spider-Man are portrayed in Peter Parker’s mind (you can tell because of the wavy dream-sequence borders around that panel) gives more evidence of my theory that Peter Parker is some sort of delusional man-child. I’m given more evidence by the fact that he believes people would honestly rather meet someone in a sweaty Lycra suit rather than a ridiculously hot red-headed film star.
Today, apparently Hagar the Horrible and Lucky Eddie find themselves teleported to either a Krazy Kat strip, or the moon. I hope it’s the latter, and if you don’t agree, just ponder the awesomeness of the following phrase: “Vikings in space.” Space Hagar sounds seriously cool; even if all he does is the same old schtick, we can at least imagine amazing space-raids right out of Heinlein.
June 14th, 2011 at 9:22 am [Reply]
@Dennis Jimenez (#28):
S-M – Oh, I don’t know, Josh – a swingin’ dick in his underroos still draws some attention, even in NYC…
Pity the poor artist who has to draw a “swingin’ dick in his underroos” –
http://stuart-immonen.livejournal.com/255371.html
Chip WhittleJune 14th, 2011 at 9:24 am [Reply]
Animal Crackers: Mighty aggressive rabbits they get in this jungle. They’re going to surround Lyle and batter him with Monty Python quotes.
Crankshaft: So Crankshaft is making his fortune… selling his ice cream to his alternate post-time-jump selves? That’s so self-absorbed it’s almost brilliant.
Curtis: “Oh yeah, here’s the bills! Don’t ask where I was keeping them the first three panels if you don’t want to be horrified!”
Family Circus: I think it’s sweet of the turtle to explain Jeffy to little P.J.
Gasoline Alley: Happy 236th birthday to the U.S. Army! Walt still thinks of you as the new kids!
Henry: I don’t know what Henry expected would happen but I bet he planned on something that didn’t break the laws of physics.
Pseudo3DJune 14th, 2011 at 9:26 am [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#30): I would like to see a Dick Tracy/9CL crossover…to see Seth and the Burber women have some ironic death happen to them would be fantastic.
MT: “And you forgot to give me $500 for my detective skills.”
“I think you’re right–I’ll have to hit the ATM for that”
FW: Wait, wait, wait. Cayla apologizes first? No! Wrong!
JessyJune 14th, 2011 at 9:34 am [Reply]
@Écureuil Écumant (#9): Isn’t that what the Tibetan monk said to the hotdog vendor?
hcvJune 14th, 2011 at 9:36 am [Reply]
I haven’t exactly been following “Shoe” in excruciating detail over the years, but have they shifted the artist duties around recently?
Roz looks about the same (and she really ought to get those giant head polyps looked at), but Cosmo looks like they’re trying out a run at “Shoe: The Teen Years.” What’s next, “Shoe Babies”?
OavisJune 14th, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]
Spider-man may appear to be a childish attention-seeker here, and indeed he is, but there’s apparently a precedent. They say that, while married to Barbra Streisand in the years before he himself was famous, Elliott Gould had a nervous breakdown after the two-hundredth time or so that he was called “Mr. Streisand.”
“Mr. M.J.” seems to me a distinct improvement on that, at least.
JessyJune 14th, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#26): Jazz paws! And belleh wrinkles!
Doctor HandsomeJune 14th, 2011 at 9:41 am [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#21): Those are his parents’ clothes; Dennis just wipes his ass with them. Menace Level: Elevated.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 14th, 2011 at 9:41 am [Reply]
@animus (#6): I know. The discussion about it being an anime figma was yesterthread.
JessyJune 14th, 2011 at 9:42 am [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#37): Mr. Rogers is one of my personal heroes.
Esther BlodgettJune 14th, 2011 at 9:44 am [Reply]
You’re a Plugger if your memories have survived longer than your friends. Geez, that’s depressing…I may have to join Emma St. Jump on the ledge now. I hope Constance saved me a meatball sandwich.
JessyJune 14th, 2011 at 9:44 am [Reply]
FW: Not only should you have walked away, Cayla, you should still be walking.
MW: Geez, Liza, I thought you were going to trip over your own feet in Panel 1. Please . . . stalking requires just a little bit of finesse.
Chip WhittleJune 14th, 2011 at 9:45 am [Reply]
Judge Parker: “Hi, I’m back…with meatball sandwiches!” “That’s not a nice way to talk about your co-workers!”
Loose Parts: Wait, the guy ordered what he expected to be guinea pig? Unless you’re a Peruvian tribesman, not cool, man. I’m gonna get Missy Orange to squeak at you.
Mandrake: So, Red Dekker dropped an actual alligator from a helicopter into a swimming pool, but he’s making do with rubber snakes and a tape recorder as his follow-up? What is this guy’s problem?
Mark Trail: “One of my calves is missing!” “Hank, we’ve been over this and over this. You’re an okra farmer. You don’t have calves. No, not even a little one. No, not even … Hank, that’s your cat. It’s not … no, a cat isn’t even a little bit like a calf. Hank, just … just sit down, we’ll have someone explain it to you later. … Later. No, not now. … Later than now. … Could somebody please wrestle Hank to the ground? … Thanks, Bill.”
Mary Worth: So what’s more mysterious, that the patient charts are on the popular 4×9 inch size paper stock or that Drew is reading them outside the Gimbel’s jewelry counter in 1979?
The Middletons: Ha ha, remember kids, tattoos and earrings are unforgivable deviations from the Proper Way To Exist! And using hair gel, well, that’s just wicked and immoral! You deserve to be ostracized! Now stop not reading newspapers!
DoodJune 14th, 2011 at 9:46 am [Reply]
Pluggers: OK, a high school reunion of three dogs a chicken. Mmm…barbecue!
Little GuyJune 14th, 2011 at 9:46 am [Reply]
Spiderman: In a rare cameo, Barbara Walters points to “DAT ASS!!!
Esther BlodgettJune 14th, 2011 at 9:47 am [Reply]
OBH: Nice try, Ruthie, but there’s already a chubby rubber glove, and it’s better than yours because it’s ribbed for your pleasure. (Is there any chance Ces didn’t know what he was saying there? Did he lose a bet?)
DoodJune 14th, 2011 at 9:47 am [Reply]
@Dood (#52): Well, what I meant to say was “three dogs and a chicken…”
Not Just Any DipstickJune 14th, 2011 at 9:50 am [Reply]
MT: What is with the red ???? in the back ground of the last panel???????
Esther BlodgettJune 14th, 2011 at 9:52 am [Reply]
@Not Just Any Dipstick (#56): I’m not sure, but it looks like a giant bottle of Smirnoff. Probably left over from the giant squirrels’ last “Glee” watch party.
Some GuyJune 14th, 2011 at 9:57 am [Reply]
A3G: We now know the mystery woman’s name is Susan, but nothing else about her. If they’d just added any reason to care, this would be a textbook example of how to build suspense.
MT: Wow, moustache-guy is really having to lay on his frameup with a trowel. “The Mountain Man, Dad! He wears moccasins! Do you think the Mountain Man who wears moccasins could be responsible for the moccasin prints? I heard he wore moccasins, that’s why I mention it.”
Mark BJune 14th, 2011 at 10:00 am [Reply]
FW: Les–”I knew you’d come crawling back to me, now give me some skull and shut up!”
Chip WhittleJune 14th, 2011 at 10:02 am [Reply]
Pluggers: Ignoring the actual Pluggers strip, as is wise, the credit for this one is to “Virginia Sprinkle”? That name sounds like many things, including a whimsical topping to an ice cream dish and an unspeakably foul act one might pay for in certain districts of town, but a Plugger? I don’t know.
Also, anyone else notice Plugger Chicken Woman has died? I mean more than spiritually.
Retail: If you feel like reading this aloud, and who does not, make sure you laugh exactly as depicted, five evenly-spaced, evenly-lengthed, uninflected ‘ha’ syllables. It gives you the real serial-killer vibe.
Slylock Fox: Finally, The Lockhorns have come to this. But as always the dog looks great in a hat.
Spider-Man: “To those fans I’m just ‘Mister MJ’.” Don’t be silly, Peter. To those fans you don’t even exist. They respond to people doing things.
Todd the Dinosaur: Ah, the Amish. Your guarantee that whatever the person making the joke thinks, there isn’t an actual joke there.
Zippy the Pinhead: “Where is it written, asked Herkimer Fraction, that all modern men’s neckties are incredibly boring-looking? Could it be next to the line explaining how all attempts to be non-boring result in neckties patterned to look like fish and similar atrocities?”
wossnameJune 14th, 2011 at 10:07 am [Reply]
@Some Guy (#58): We also know that Iris paid for Susan’s train ticket to wherever she is (probably NYC, but who knows) and that they were never close but Iris wanted to do this for some reason. Whether that constitutes a reason to care is another question.
Esther BlodgettJune 14th, 2011 at 10:11 am [Reply]
FW: “Because I never should have let you…I should have broken your kneecaps, dragged you into the cellar, and tanned your flesh into a ceremonial blanket for my Lisa shrine. At least I didn’t make the same mistake when Funky came over to apologize. But it’s OK, the shrine could still use some new curtains. Now assume the dragging position, Not-Lisa.”
Chyron HRJune 14th, 2011 at 10:17 am [Reply]
JP – (raises hand) I, uh, kind of want to grab her. Is that okay?
Luann – Yes indeedy, the title character is certainly a flighty ditz with delusions of grand–oh, JONAH. Yes, of course, Greg. My mistake.
GA – Wait, there’s an EXCITING Gasoline Alley? Why don’t they print that one instead?
Bubba FrinkJune 14th, 2011 at 10:25 am [Reply]
Look a flying goat!
Flying ManateeJune 14th, 2011 at 10:28 am [Reply]
BC: A play on the term “perfect pitch”? Have any non-musicians ever heard the term? I would think a homonym about the word “pitch” would involve baseball or advertising, not roofing tar.
SequiturJune 14th, 2011 at 10:39 am [Reply]
I read Crock today.
~~slaps head~~
Why? Why? Why? Why?
June 14th, 2011 at 10:40 am [Reply]
the phantom: My mind is in the gutter. Look at the final panel of the Phantom today. Pretend the previous two panels weren’t there. Looks like our little nerd is having his way with the Phantom.
TheDivaJune 14th, 2011 at 10:42 am [Reply]
SM: Has so much smug ever been expended at so little justification? In a non-Batiuk comic, I mean?
9CL: It comes as no surprise that everyone around them has left in disgust at their rudeness, the world’s most interminable dance, or both.
C’shaft: Crankshaft stiffs his employers by unloading his unsold stock on the sick and elderly (thus upsetting their delicate dietary needs). Everybody’s unhappy, which means Cranky’s happy.
FW: Due to his extensive god complex Les has a deep-seated fear of losing the admiration of lesser beings, as doing so might cause him to blink out of existence entirely. If he has to pretend to feel remorse for his actions to keep Cayla genuflecting at his altar, then so be it. Now the question is how to elevate Cayla to the status of Most Highly Favored One of Les [*] without losing Suicidal Susan’s worship.
Luann: Shannon’s a tattered dress and some windblown hair away from being the illustration of Cosette in panel one. What I wouldn’t give for the child welfare people to come in right now,
MT: “And Goodie Cooper says her hens won’t lay ever since the mountain man gave them the evil eye!”
MW: “Sorry Liza, Mary says I’m not allowed to play with you anymore.”
Pluggers have outlived all their contemporaries and are now just marking time until they join them.
GregJune 14th, 2011 at 10:47 am [Reply]
Spider-Man: So very generous of Peter Parker to allow MJ to have a modicum of success. Is begrudging graciousness a super power?
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 14th, 2011 at 10:49 am [Reply]
@Dood (#52): OK, a high school reunion of three dogs and a chicken.
After they left Denny’s, the chicken had a three-dog night.
Dick – I can’t wait for Double Mint’s shtick to get him in trouble.
“Pick up this screw yourself! Screw yourself!”
“That’s the woman I love, Dick! I love, Dick!”
“That’s my phone. I’ll take it in the can. Take it in the can!”
Awwwk!
@Jessy (#48): Rogers was great. Thirty years or so ago, I was watching his show every evening with a couple of friends — I started work at 7:30 so I could tear out of the office early enough. If his work on the show wasn’t enough, he entered the pantheon of real heroes the day he singlehandedly saved Public Broadcasting from the GOP.
MibbitmakerJune 14th, 2011 at 10:57 am [Reply]
9CL: Very….. *YAWWWWNM!*
BBlues: They’re also extinct and their remains being burned up so we can travel places, Hammie.
Curtis: Kid sure plays tough with the inheritance loot, don’t he?
FW: She shouldn’t have walked away….. she should’ve RUN!
Maggie the CatJune 14th, 2011 at 11:05 am [Reply]
@Dennis Jimenez (#28): S-M – Oh, I don’t know, Josh – a swingin’ dick in his underroos still draws some attention, even in NYC….
Thank you for the LOL. I read that in a literal sense and the cackling commenced.
Maggie the CatJune 14th, 2011 at 11:06 am [Reply]
@Maggie the Cat (#72): And… the apostrophe in “swingin’” made it that much funnier.
kkarenbJune 14th, 2011 at 11:09 am [Reply]
FW – Cayla is apologizing?! Her first words to Les should have been, “I think you owe me an apology>”
Mark Trail – This story was churned out by one of the infinite number of monkeys at typewriters. He took it to the head monkey, who threw it back at him and told him it was too stupid for words.
Judge P – Since this dramatic incident will be used to shill the judge’s novel, those meatball sandwiches are tax deductible.
And isn’t a meatball sandwich a messy choice to eat while dangling off a rooftop? Would’t ham and cheese be easier to handle?
MW – What is this, junior high school? I imagine that any chart Liza wrote in will have little hearts and “Mrs. Drew Corey – Liza Corey” scribbled all over the margins.
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#70):
The Senator wasn’t the only one who got goosebumps during Fred Rogers’ testimony. How I wish I could have watched his show when I was a child.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 14th, 2011 at 11:10 am [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#70): d’awwwwwwwwwww @ Mr. Rodgers Goes to Washington.
Rocky StoneaxeJune 14th, 2011 at 11:11 am [Reply]
Pluggers — Tuesday’s Three Dogs and a Chicken will be followed by Wednesday’s Guess What’s Coming to Dinner?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/guilas03/4278085780/
SequiturJune 14th, 2011 at 11:12 am [Reply]
Cayla has become the Sisyphus of Funky Winkerbean.
MibbitmakerJune 14th, 2011 at 11:17 am [Reply]
GT: Hobart, have you no sense of decency at long last? Have you — Aw, I can’t stay mad at you, ya big lug! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
…….seriously, ease up, Hobart.
PCity: If he was, you two would’ve left by now.
R=R: Ooh, psychotic biker personality — Stone Season next! Stone Season next! And Lisa’s Story! Lisa’s Story, too! *
S-M: FINALLY! Keep on shedding that chauvinistic self-pity, Petey!
Walker of DogJune 14th, 2011 at 11:19 am [Reply]
@Not Just Any Dipstick (#56): That’s a storage silo for Soylent Red.
Chip WhittleJune 14th, 2011 at 11:21 am [Reply]
Alley Oop: “Dr. Cooper has gone to warp speed, so we’ll be out of touch with the crew until they approach Earth 2. Then we’ll be out of touch with the crew because there’s the Sun between us and them. You know, maybe we’re just not very good at this ’space’ stuff.”
Fred Basset: Fred Basset gets knocked senseless, yet so gently we might never have noticed. That is to say, Fred Basset exists.
What part of Fred Basset’s body did Jock hit, exactly, and how?
Lola: “Ironically, neither of them are organ doners. OK, neither of them have organs, or would need them, but…uh… Look, I said the word ‘ironically’, that makes this a joke!”
Momma: Well, it finally happened. Momma’s put on a bald wig and mustache to hire Francis.
Wee Pals: “Dad, did they have the New Math when you were in school?” “No, Nipper, because the New Math came and went a decade before I entered school, if we pretend this is 2011.”
Working It Out: “Today’s special is deep-fried lard marinated in cooking grease.” Hey, I was thinking of amusement park food too.
Walker of DogJune 14th, 2011 at 11:26 am [Reply]
@TheDiva (#68): “But wait – last night I saw Goodie Cooper in the cornfield dancing naked with the devil! Also, her lemon pound cake is dry. DRY!”
JessyJune 14th, 2011 at 11:32 am [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#70): Funny, I used to watch the show every day as an adult, too. I watched the clip that you linked, and I listened to the marvel that was Fred Rogers’ voice. At first, listening to him, you want to say, “Yeah, yeah, spit it out, let’s get on with this.” But his voice forces you to slow down to his pace, and it’s almost as if your heart rate and blood pressure go down–heck, they probably do. It’s a calming effect, almost hypnotic, and it’s the opposite of everything that’s in the movies and on TV today. Every man, woman, and child could benefit by watching his show, and by hearing him say, “You made my day special today, just by being you. I like you just the way you are.”
commodorejohnJune 14th, 2011 at 11:33 am [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#1): Mmm…
A3G – Apartment 3-G: The gripping story of one woman’s internal monologue as she ponders the killer question: do I ring the doorbell? ONLY IN THEATERS THIS SUMMER.
A&J – I do.
Crankshaft – Okay, how the hell has Tom Batiuk, the Most Depressing Man in the World, somehow managed to make the Most Depressing Place in the World (nursing homes) less depressing? Did his depressingness underflow and wrap around into the positives?
FC – Glass houses, Jeffy. Glass houses.
FW – Uh, Tom, you seem to have forgotten to draw in the shotgun that Les is apparently hefting for no conceivable reason.
JP – Later: “So she had a deep-seated revulsion and fear of meatball sandwiches that drove her to jump? Well how about that. Well, you win some, you lose some.”
Love Is… – *insert Weiner joke here*
Luann – Remember, all the professions that Greg Evans transparently wanted to be a part of but couldn’t are evil and worthless!
MT – Calves are “expensive merchandise that’s popular with the kids?” Boy, these thieves are dumb.
MW – Is this just going to go on for eternity? …or has it already?
Phantom – “Well boy is my face red! No hard feelings about this, okay, Mr. Ghost? …okay? You there?”
RMMD – “Her specialty is computer data management! Which really just means that she’s good about alt-tabbing out of Minecraft and into Excel when someone’s coming.”
SF – I can’t say I’m particularily surprised by this turn of events. I just wonder why Ted hasn’t displayed similar sensitivities.
bats :[June 14th, 2011 at 11:33 am [Reply]
@Jessy (#48): true dat.
commodorejohnJune 14th, 2011 at 11:35 am [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#70): I liked Randall Munroe’s comment in an xkcd alt-text:
Mr. Rogers projected an air of genuine, unwavering, almost saintly pure-hearted decency. But when you look deeper, at the person behind the image … that’s exactly what you find there, too. He’s exactly what he appears to be.
Just…the guy was wonderful.
Walker of DogJune 14th, 2011 at 11:39 am [Reply]
A3G: “Good heavens, they put stucco on a brownstone?! Why, the very idea! I shall beat cheeks back to the train station, post haste.”
Phan: “Oops, I think I just nicked your kidney. Wait – your nose isn’t lighting up. And why didn’t the buzzer go off? This game is broken. What’s on TV?”
Plug: “What, no one remembers? Shoot, me neither.”
DT: What terrific artwork today. Shame about the homicide. The homicide.
MT: “And what’s more, something has been nibbling on my tomato plants! The war in Afghanistan has drifted from its original strategic objectives! I can’t satisfy my wife anymore! Oh, um… did I mention one of my calves is missing? Let’s just go back to that one.”
The Modesto KidJune 14th, 2011 at 11:39 am [Reply]
I don’t (don’t) follow Shoe — but did it get a new artist recently? Looks different…
The ElfJune 14th, 2011 at 11:41 am [Reply]
Who is Haggar kidding? We all know he’s a bear when he’s out Viking.
SequiturJune 14th, 2011 at 11:44 am [Reply]
MT: “One of my calves is missing. Wait. Never mind. It just grew into a cow. False alarm.”
bbofunJune 14th, 2011 at 11:45 am [Reply]
@kkarenb (#74): “And isn’t a meatball sandwich a messy choice to eat while dangling off a rooftop?”
Yeah, but once she jumps, nobody’ll be able to notice the marinara stains…
Maggie the CatJune 14th, 2011 at 11:48 am [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#85): @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#70): I loved Mr. Rogers, too. He’s like the perfect Grandpa or friendly grandpa-substitute next door. And he had a trolley in his house!
JessyJune 14th, 2011 at 11:48 am [Reply]
::fist bump::
Bill ThompsonJune 14th, 2011 at 11:49 am [Reply]
Mark Trail: Of course Old MacDonald lost one of his calves. These simple farmers just don’t exercise proper caution while wearing assless chaps.
LiamJune 14th, 2011 at 11:52 am [Reply]
MW-This strip just looks wrong. One sleeve of Drew’s jacket is black. Liza looks like she is flying in the first panel and in the last panel she looks like she has been sampling some of the hospital’s medication.
MT-What sort of logic is this? How long would it take for the guy to come down from the mountain? Then he has to drive his truck full of his misbegotten booty back up the mountain and then he will have to drive it back down the mountain to hide in town. He can’t do all that in one night.
MaryAnnTheRestJune 14th, 2011 at 11:54 am [Reply]
@Alan’s Addiction (#38): Vikings in Space? Didn’t they make this Saturday morning cartoon in the 70s? If not, they should have. I want to see that spaceship.
Mark Trail: “Yeah, and he turned me into a newt!” (Sorry, someone had to say it.)
LiamJune 14th, 2011 at 11:57 am [Reply]
MW-Yeah, and it was the Mountain Man that took my daughter’s virginity.
Blondie-Dagwood learns that vandalism does have its benefits.
Walker of DogJune 14th, 2011 at 12:00 pm [Reply]
JP: Emma takes a break from her suicide attempt to nurse some random baby.
RMMD: “Computer data management”? I call resume-padding.
GT: Kaz is tormenting the students again. “Come on in, Jeff – if you dare. I ate at the Chili Parlor last night, and I’ve been stinking up the office all morning. It’s a stench that only a man could tolerate.”
Jumb: They were ruining his game, his marriage – hell, his whole life – but he couldn’t help himself. Every morning, approaching the closet, he would tell himself, “normal shoes, normal shoes,” but his eye, his hand, and his heart would always find the beloved treasures. “Damn you, Ronald McDonald. Damn you to hell,” he muttered through the hot tears as he laced up, bracing himself to face another day in a world that would never understand him.
He wasn’t going to win the tennis match due to his |S|H|O|E| |F|E|T|I|S|H|.
June 14th, 2011 at 12:02 pm [Reply]
We are pleased beyond belief to see Archie Andrews in his traditional bow tie again. He could give Master Bellini Verde a run for his money if he put his heart in it.
JessyJune 14th, 2011 at 12:06 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#84): The ::fist bump:: in comment 92 is for you.
I hate it when I hit “reply” and it does not bring up the person’s name and comment number and I don’t notice. A fist bump just hanging there in midair. How embarrassing.
Rocky StoneaxeJune 14th, 2011 at 12:06 pm [Reply]
Mandrake — By gesturing hynotically, Manny has transformed the opera cape he’s worn for 75+ years into a Whovian scarf:
http://www.jsonline.com/comics/32402404.html?feature_id=Mandrake&feature_date=2011-06-14
Effluvius ErratusJune 14th, 2011 at 12:08 pm [Reply]
MT: If this sheriff were as corrupt as he is stupid, he’d use this Mountain Man scare as a great opportunity to clear all his cold cases.
MooncattieJune 14th, 2011 at 12:08 pm [Reply]
MT – Readers who are new to Mark Trail will learn three important lessons during this storyline:
1. Mountain Men are not crazed drug store-robbing calf thieves, but nature-loving men who have served their country and deserve the peace and quiet they seek along with our thanks for a job well done.
2. Our law enforcement officers face daily challenges in their often-dangerous work, and along with our support and gratitude they deserve particular respect when their own loved ones tragically make the choice to pursue a life of crime.
3. Mark Trail will use any excuse, any hint of a flimsy justification that may come his way, to run off and avoid spending time with his wife and family.
Long-time readers of Mark Trail will learn two important lessons during this storyline…..
AustriaJune 14th, 2011 at 12:09 pm [Reply]
FC: And that’s when little PJ became a Buddhist.
FW: EVERYBODY MUST HUMBLE THEMSELVES TO LES. Just wait — some random neighbor will walk by and apologize for something that was Les’s fault.
SF: I freaking love this strip.
PozzoJune 14th, 2011 at 12:13 pm [Reply]
Judging from panel 2, it looks like Hagar and Eddie are going to star in a Scandanavian version of “Waiting for Godot.” It’s like Beckett, only bleaker.
MooncattieJune 14th, 2011 at 12:14 pm [Reply]
JP – Wait a minute – that’s no meatball sub! It’s a Wawa Classic Meatball Hoagie! At last, something to live for! Crisis is over!
But What Do I Know?June 14th, 2011 at 12:19 pm [Reply]
@kkarenb (#74): I hear there’s a tavern around the corner that makes the best Reubens. Anyway, a decrepit hobo told me so. . .
Not Just Any DipstickJune 14th, 2011 at 12:19 pm [Reply]
@MaryAnnTheRest (#95): You don’t look like a newt, oh wait, yes you do.
And now we know the villiage ‘of’ idiots will stumble across the ‘truck hidden in town’, because a mountain man would never hide one in the ‘mountains’. Bet they find a moccasin in it too.
June 14th, 2011 at 12:19 pm [Reply]
FW: Batliuk’s inspiration for this week’s miniarc?
seismic-2June 14th, 2011 at 12:21 pm [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#101): Thel: “OK, who broke the vase in the living room?”
Billy: “Not me!”
Jeffy: “I dunno!”
Dolly: “Mountain Man!”
June 14th, 2011 at 12:26 pm [Reply]
JP: This crisis will end well by Sunday. Especially when Emma and Constance are licking spicy marinara sauce from each other’s fingers.
Frank Lee MeidereJune 14th, 2011 at 12:27 pm [Reply]
@Alan’s Addiction (#38): I suspect you’re thinking of H. Beam Piper, not Heinlein.
trey le parcJune 14th, 2011 at 12:35 pm [Reply]
BC: If there’s any job executed more lazily than writing this strip it’s got to be coloring this strip. It looks like a baby daubing poo on the walls through the slats of the crib.
bourbon babe, unbuckledJune 14th, 2011 at 12:35 pm [Reply]
@Not Just Any Dipstick (#107): And the whole story will culminate in a dramatic trial, at which Mark Trail thunders, “If the moccasin does not fit, you must acquit!”
Government CheeseJune 14th, 2011 at 12:36 pm [Reply]
MW: Oh I hope Dr. Drew got something out of this whole fiasco – wait – the characters of the MW/FWuniverse are not anatomically correct. Explains all the pent-up frustration.
SequiturJune 14th, 2011 at 12:46 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#113): I’m not sure Mark could finish his sentence. He would be distracted that the moccasin is the same color as pancakes.
Joe, the Upper-Evergreen GuyJune 14th, 2011 at 12:52 pm [Reply]
FW: What?? Wait. Why the fuck is CAYLA apologizing?? Soon we’ll see Susan come suntering up to Les, groveling at his feet.
Effluvius ErratusJune 14th, 2011 at 12:52 pm [Reply]
@seismic-2 (#109): Liza: Why don’t you love me, Drew?
Drew: The Mountain Man!
June 14th, 2011 at 12:53 pm [Reply]
Judge Parker: Meatball subs? Come on, Emma, make with the unreasonable demands, like calling for a couple of Adirondack chairs, a bottle of fine wine and a seriously smug lawyer. Oh wait, you want to live, right?
AhClemJune 14th, 2011 at 12:56 pm [Reply]
Jack Elrod has achieved something that even Monty Python failed to do: create an angry mob even stupider than the one on the “Holy Grail” witch scene.
KatyJune 14th, 2011 at 12:57 pm [Reply]
Okay, wait, 9CL’s payoff for weeks of this shit is “Edda and Amos become sexually aroused”?
At first I was thinking “at least I’m not paying for these comics,” but I realize I am. Those three seconds of my life are three seconds I’m never, ever going to get back.
heavyliftingJune 14th, 2011 at 12:57 pm [Reply]
MT — Why do I foresee this whole mess being resolved with Mark using his superior intelligence to determine that the robber’s moccasins are size 9, whereas the Mountain Man wears size 11, thus exonerating the Mountain Man. Trail will be channeling Johnny Cochrane — if the moccasins don’t fit, you must acquit.
KatyJune 14th, 2011 at 12:59 pm [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#117):
O, do you know the Mountain Man,
the Mountain Man, the Mountain Man,
do you know the Mountain Man,
who lives on Drury Lane-O?
Yes, I know the Mountain Man,
the Mountain Man, the Mountain Man,
yes, I know the Mountain Man,
who lives on Drury Lane-O!
(it occurs to me that that song is a lot of setup for very little payoff. Like Mark Trail.)
RhekaridJune 14th, 2011 at 1:04 pm [Reply]
So inside Spider-Man’s head, his passage is followed by hordes of adoring fans, and he swings through the air with such might that he slices entire buildings right in half. I’m beginning to think he watches so much TV because he believes it’s some sort of Bat-Cave supercomputer that tells him about crimes.
DoodJune 14th, 2011 at 1:06 pm [Reply]
Mark Trail: Raiding chicken houses and stealing calves? This looks like a case for Sheriff Tait of Hootin’ Holler CSI. Better get the jedge, too.
McManxJune 14th, 2011 at 1:12 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#32): Babe! LOL. That is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time. Thx!
SequiturJune 14th, 2011 at 1:12 pm [Reply]
@seismic-2 (#109): and @Effluvius Erratus (#117):
So “Mountain Man” can be used in other comics.
Blondie
Blondie: What kind of sandwich is that?
Dagwood: The Mountain Man!
Rex Morgan, M.D.
June: Here comes Mountain Man.
Rex: Ooooh!
Mary Worth
Mary: These salmon squares were made by Mountain Man except there’s no salmon and they’re not square.
9 Chickweed Lane
Edda: You better be mountin’, man!
June 14th, 2011 at 1:18 pm [Reply]
@Pseudo3D (#41), @kkarenb (#74), @Austria (#103), & @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#116): Being Les means never having to say you’re sorry. Because being Les means being a sociopathic emotional terrorist.
@Katy (#122): How about…?
The Mountain Man stole some HDTVs, haroo-haroo…
And a bunch of bargain DVDs, haroo-haroo…
While we work and pray and slave,
He’s watching First Blood alone in his cave,
Well, probably not,
But we’ll all blame the Mountain Man anyway.
The Mountain Man robbed a drugstore today, haroo-haroo…
And stole a calf along the way, haroo-haroo…
Not to mention the chicken coop,
And the village idiot’s bucket of poop,
Well, probably not,
But we’ll all blame the Mountain Man anyway.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:26 pm [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#127):
The Mountain Man stole some HDTVs, haroo-haroo…
HDTVs? This is Mark Trail; we should be impressed they’re not making off with Philco Predictas.
The Spectacular Spider-BrickJune 14th, 2011 at 1:33 pm [Reply]
COTW nominations for [Old Man] Muffaroo @21 (FC) and @24 (MT). I also second the call for a blood-spattered “Surgery is tougher than it looks!” T-shirt.
LiamJune 14th, 2011 at 1:38 pm [Reply]
@heavylifting (#121):
Because Mark is a graduate of the Slylock Fox School of Detectives.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:40 pm [Reply]
@Sequitur (#Y238): Yes, Miss Avis’ snooping mug scared off all the drooly grinning seals.
@greghousesgf (#Y240): Arlene must be from the Island. You know, the one the doctor owns.
Effluvius ErratusJune 14th, 2011 at 1:42 pm [Reply]
@Sequitur (#126): Perfesser: How’d your date go?
Roz: Not good. The guy turned out to be a mountain man.
Perfesser: goggle eyes of horror
* * *
Herb: You know how they call Wednesday “hump day”?
Jamaal: Yeah?
Herb: Well, you’d need to be a person acclimated to climbing vertiginous geological formations to get over the kind of day I’m having.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:46 pm [Reply]
Well, today Peter Parker, with his statement in panel 2, makes him almost as much of a douchebag as Les Moore.
CalicoJune 14th, 2011 at 1:50 pm [Reply]
Are those real mocassins, or are those Sears moccasins?
KatyJune 14th, 2011 at 1:51 pm [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#127): Diddle diddle dumpling, Myson John,
went to bed with his stockings on,
one shoe off and one sh –
Wait a second. Mark Trail is pretty much acting out nursery rhymes, isn’t he? This is spooky.
Effluvius ErratusJune 14th, 2011 at 2:02 pm [Reply]
@Katy (#135): I like this game…
Myson John sat on a stone,
Eating his goats and grasses,
Along came Mark Trail,
With fistful of fail,
And kicked all the townspeople’s asses.
* * *
The itsy-bitsy Thrasher went up the mountainside,
Up came the Sheriff to give to take Mountain Man for a ride,
Back came Mark Trail to punch the facial hair,
And Myson John Thrasher got a shave and the hell out of there.
@Calico (#134): They’re zircon encrusted mocassins.
Think I’m moving to the Montana soon…
To impale me a bunch of…billy goats…
June 14th, 2011 at 2:03 pm [Reply]
@Katy (#135):
Mark be nimble,
Mark be quick,
Or you’ll be poked
In the back with a stick.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:08 pm [Reply]
John Thrasher Stolethefarmerscalf
That’s my name too
Whenever we go out
The people always shout
There goes John Thrasher Stolethefarmerscalf
LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA…
June 14th, 2011 at 2:09 pm [Reply]
MT: I love this arc. After the smugglers, this is a a great one. Goats and calves. A seven-story building in the tiny town. The sheriff said, “. . . that school you go to”? Doesn’t he know where his son goes to school? No women in the town, although there is face powder. Etc.
commodorejohnJune 14th, 2011 at 2:12 pm [Reply]
Hey, I figured it out! I was thinking about Liza’s creepy, no-holds barred insistence, and then I flashed back to her sprouting out of Drew’s shoulder and I realized: Mary Worth is dramatizing the myth of Salmacis and Hermaphroditus. (Somebody call Peter Gabriel!)
Effluvius ErratusJune 14th, 2011 at 2:18 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#140): Meanwhile, Funky Winkerbean’s retelling of the myth of Narcissus continues on through its fourth year with no end in sight.
wossnameJune 14th, 2011 at 2:38 pm [Reply]
@Calico (#134): You mean mock moccasins?
OK, here’s an insoluble one for y’all:
Slylock Fox is investigating a crime. Someone broke into Shirley Squirrel’s condo and stole a huckleberry pie off the window sill, and then stole a Ming vase from Henrietta Hippo. The suspects are Reeky Rat, Count Weirdly, Shady Shrew, and the Mountain Man.
This GuyJune 14th, 2011 at 2:41 pm [Reply]
9CL: Wow, if it causes Edda and Amos to want to bang immediately, it’s clearly in the same league of excitement as seeing a red car, low humidity, or composite numbers. High praise indeed.
Reply All: The “art” just went from shitty to horrifying.
Esther BlodgettJune 14th, 2011 at 2:49 pm [Reply]
@This Guy (#143): re: Reply All. My 11-year-old would be ashamed to produce artwork like that and have it shown in public. She could write a better joke, too.
gleebJune 14th, 2011 at 2:52 pm [Reply]
@wossname (#142): Easy. It was the raccoon. I know you didn’t mention one, but it still is.
Baka GaijinJune 14th, 2011 at 2:52 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#17): “whip out a photo of Mary Worth and shove it into her face…and watch Liza recoil and cower in terror!” Seal Team 6 would recoil and cower in terror in that same situation.
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#21): “What does he [Dennis Mitchell] do, spend all his time out of the spotlight compulsively putting on and taking off ensembles?” Not before befouling them in homage to his comic strip hero, Marvin.
@Mark B (#22): “He can distract them by saying ‘Look over there! A giant floating goat! He’s impaled on a word balloon!’” I’d be joining Mr. Fable looking over there.
@pugfuggly (#27): “Pinchy fingers” is a condition that Pfizer has a new medication for. Be sure to ask your doctor for details.
Effluvius ErratusJune 14th, 2011 at 2:52 pm [Reply]
@wossname (#142): In the Slylock universe, is the Mountain Man a sentient mountain, like from the Star Wars Life Day Special?
Baka GaijinJune 14th, 2011 at 2:54 pm [Reply]
@Alan’s Addiction (#38): “People would honestly rather meet someone in a sweaty Lycra suit rather than a ridiculously hot red-headed film star.” I’m sure Dingo could come up with a situation where that’s true.
@Chip Whittle (#51): “Hi, I’m back…with meatball sandwiches!” In what universe is a suicide jump a catered event? Miss Manners, if you’re out there, is this proper?
@Bubba Frink (#64): OMG! Spear it with a speech balloon and you’ve got Mark Trail.
@kkarenb (#74): “He took it to the head monkey, who threw it back at him and told him it was too stupid for words.” I thought monkeys traditionally throw poo. Ohhhhhh.
@Walker of Dog (#86): “I shall beat cheeks back to the train station, post haste.” Speaking of setting up a good Dingo anecdote…
@seismic-2 (#137): That was too funny.
LiamJune 14th, 2011 at 3:00 pm [Reply]
@Sparkle Plenty (#139):
Actually the sheriff is ashamed of the school that his son goes to and refers to it as “that school”. Not all parents are proud that their child goes to Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters.
Baka GaijinJune 14th, 2011 at 3:05 pm [Reply]
Marvin: Kiddo, if you need a chiropractor after straining to take a poop, maybe you need to toss that wheel of cheddar out of your crib.
Red and Rover: I found “Thwook!” hilarious. I don’t know why.
Luann: Should that whole mopping thing not work out, Shannon could be Travelocity’s new Traveling Gnome.
Pluggers: As if! As if 4 pluggers could fit in a Denny’s booth at the same time.
Sally Forth: Totally full of win!
bats :[June 14th, 2011 at 3:07 pm [Reply]
@Jessy (#99): Cool (and thanks)! Never been fist bumped before — back-handed, yes, but this is so much neater. :)
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 14th, 2011 at 3:12 pm [Reply]
@Liam (#149): or Hogwarts.
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 14th, 2011 at 3:30 pm [Reply]
@Esther Blodgett (#144): Today’s really ups the ante, too. It’s like some new technique, “draw a strip and then stand across the room and throw eyeballs at it”.
PoteetJune 14th, 2011 at 3:40 pm [Reply]
MT — This story is cramming in allusions to a number of classics. So far we’re seeing THE LITERARY SINS OF FENIMORE COOPER, THE CRUCIBLE, and FRANKENSTEIN, and I’ll bet there will be more. Mark himself sort of a blank space, like a flyleaf.
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 14th, 2011 at 3:41 pm [Reply]
I went and looked at the blahblah thing off to the side of “Reply All,” and it says “the strip’s main character…”
This floored me. Does this mean that there are supposed to be some sort of differences between the talking things in the strip? Does the ‘artist’ know which one is which?
PoteetJune 14th, 2011 at 3:41 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#154): IS sort of a blank space. Like part of my brain. *bangs head on wall*
PoteetJune 14th, 2011 at 3:46 pm [Reply]
I applaud the verbal brickbats being hurled at the putrid dreck that calls itself REPLY ALL. But I am not going there again, nope nope nope. My eyeballs are still bleeding from the last time.
Some GuyJune 14th, 2011 at 3:53 pm [Reply]
Funky: When it comes down to it, Les, there’s only one person you can blame for your problems.
Les: The Mountain Man!
June 14th, 2011 at 3:55 pm [Reply]
Mark Trail — Now that Elrod has an angry mob gunning for the Mountain Man, the plot begins to sicken thicken:
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51kkV%2Bp9%2BAL._SS500_.jpg
KinghasnoclothesJune 14th, 2011 at 3:56 pm [Reply]
FW: Cayla, “Les I never should have been so bold as to say to you that I love you. I don’t know what I was thinking. Oh, by the way, you impregnated me when we were screwing the other day. My bad.”
Les, “I smell a book here…”
June 14th, 2011 at 4:04 pm [Reply]
OK, OK, I confess — I did it!
(sob)
KatyJune 14th, 2011 at 4:08 pm [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#136) and Esther damn it you gave me an earworm:
Ring around the Myson
Pockets full of bison
Squirrels
Ducks
or whatever else is big.
****
There was a sheriff had a Man
and Thrasher was his name-o!
ess you ess pee ee cee tee,
are ee dee herr eye en gee,
moccasins below his knee,
and Thrasher was his name-o!
June 14th, 2011 at 4:12 pm [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#155): Yes, and not only that, the characters, or “things,” as you more accurately put it, are drawn from Donna Lewis’s own life–and the main “thing” is based on her. And, apparently, she is very much like the thing she draws, according to people who know her (except, I imagine, that Donna Lewis looks like an actual person, not a blob of computer color). So perhaps even more appalling than the existence of Reply All is the existence of someone that self-absorbed and preoccupied with metrosexuals, and that much a bundle of offensively stereotypical female traits.
Écureuil ÉcumantJune 14th, 2011 at 4:13 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#154): To me, MT exemplifies on a daily basis the mortal sins listed in FENIMORE COOPER. Let’s just list the first five:
1. That a tale shall accomplish something and arrive somewhere.
2. That the episodes in a tale shall be necessary parts of the tale, and shall help to develop it.
3. That the personages in a tale shall be alive, except in the case of corpses, and that always the reader shall be able to tell the living from the corpses.
4. They require that the personages in a tale, both dead and alive, shall exhibit a sufficient excuse for being there.
5. That when the personages of a tale deal in conversation, the talk shall sound like human talk, and have a discoverable meaning, a show of relevancy, and remain in the neighborhood of the subject at hand, be interesting to the reader, help out the tale, and stop when the people cannot think of anything more to say.
Case closed.
balthazarJune 14th, 2011 at 4:20 pm [Reply]
the cayla return is even worse than i thought it would be … please god just have her apologize for walking out on les because she thought by some personal code she was being impolite, but smart enough to know this man is a black hole of suck. please? otherwise, i’ll end up hating her too, and i’m getting too old for all this anger.
Esther BlodgettJune 14th, 2011 at 4:28 pm [Reply]
@The Mountain Man (#161): Let’s git ‘im, boys! He can’t run fast in those moccasins!
The Mountain ManJune 14th, 2011 at 4:34 pm [Reply]
@Esther Blodgett (#166):
EEEEEEEEeeee………!
Walker of DogJune 14th, 2011 at 4:37 pm [Reply]
@Esther Blodgett (#166): The angry townspeople will corner the Mountain Man in some cliffside refuge. In desperation, he will fling himself into the river below, where he will collide with a leaky drum of radioactive waste. After a shocking transformation, a horrified world will behold…
The Water Moccasin!
June 14th, 2011 at 4:39 pm [Reply]
Those mattress tags that have been removed? Yep, it’s the work of the moccasin-wearing Mountain Man.
SchroduckJune 14th, 2011 at 4:42 pm [Reply]
I know Hagar has always used its historical setting very loosely, but Vikings… in the desert? Do I need to send a history book and an atlas to King Features Syndicate HQ?
DoodJune 14th, 2011 at 4:43 pm [Reply]
HtH: With that funnel headpiece, it’s no wonder Lucky Eddie has problems finding love. He needs a heart.
MibbitmakerJune 14th, 2011 at 4:43 pm [Reply]
@Katy (#122): And like 9 Chickweed Lane. And like Mary Worth. And Popeye… and Luann… and Funky Winkerbean, Spider-Man, Locher era Dick Tracy, Phantom, Gil Thorp, Gasoline Alley……………
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 14th, 2011 at 4:44 pm [Reply]
Mountain Main, you stand here accused of 12 counts of murder in the first degree, 14 counts of armed theft of LoFo property, 22 counts of piracy on the high seas, 18 counts of fraud, 37 counts of rape…
*pauses to check rap sheet*
… and one moving violation. How do you plead?
Baka GaijinJune 14th, 2011 at 4:45 pm [Reply]
@Walker of Dog (#168): I thought when he flung himself off the cliff, we’d see him hanging onto a branch sticking straight out, yelling for Beetle.
Effluvius ErratusJune 14th, 2011 at 4:46 pm [Reply]
@The Mountain Man (#167), better keep your head,
Don’t forget what that Mark Trail said,
Peace in the mountains ain’t gonna last,
Now those townies are coming fast…Mountain Man!
I saw a drug store with broken glass,
Leather moccasins and powder tracks,
Mountain Man, how can you pay them back?
I heard punching and leather slapping…
How long? How long?
20-minute skewered goat solo
Esther BlodgettJune 14th, 2011 at 4:54 pm [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#175):
Well, I heard Mr. Erratus sing about me
Well I heard old Effluvius put me down
I hope Effluvius Erratus will remember
Mountain Man don’t need him around anyhow
Sweet home Lost Forest
Where the holes are so deep
Sweet home Lost Forest
Lord, Mark Trail gives me the creeps
Now, In the town they love the Sheriff
(hoo hoo hoo)
his son and clean-cut punk friends, too
Now, giant squirrels do not bother me
Do flying goats bother you?
Tell me true
Sweet Home Lost Forest
Where the holes are so deep (if you want to sleep)
Sweet Home Lost Forest
Lord, Mark Trail gives me the creeps…
Free Bird!
commodorejohnJune 14th, 2011 at 5:01 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#163): (except, I imagine, that Donna Lewis looks like an actual person, not a blob of computer color).
Well, let’s not jump to conclusions.
June 14th, 2011 at 5:02 pm [Reply]
Don’t bother coming back, Flagston and Thurston. I’ve outsourced your work to the Mountain Man.
VioletJune 14th, 2011 at 5:03 pm [Reply]
How exactly did MJ ever feel marginalized as “just Mrs. Spider-Man” if no one has any idea they’re married? Because she sure as hell wouldn’t feel overshadowed by being “Mrs. Peter Parker.” Mortified, perhaps, but not overshadowed.
Effluvius ErratusJune 14th, 2011 at 5:08 pm [Reply]
@Esther Blodgett (#176): Oh, Mountain Man,
Mark Trail fools,
With the best laid plan.
Swing low, sweet Mountain Man,
You got your sticks and holes,
And your kid-skin soles,
And now the town-folk,
Will give you the big poke.
Mountain Man, you got
A weight on your shoulders,
That’s breakin’ your back,
Your beard so black,
Is a haven for ticks,
And prob’ly also for rats…
June 14th, 2011 at 5:13 pm [Reply]
Officer Queek I cannot tell a lie, I put that envelope at the bottom of that pile of garbage.
Rocky StoneaxeJune 14th, 2011 at 5:15 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#154):
MT — This story is cramming in allusions to a number of classics. So far we’re seeing THE LITERARY SINS OF FENIMORE COOPER, THE CRUCIBLE, and FRANKENSTEIN, and I’ll bet there will be more. Mark himself sort of a blank space, like a flyleaf.
And when it comes to flying goats, Jack Elrod only steals from the best:
http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/walt-disneys-comics-and-stories/287-1.jpg
CalicoJune 14th, 2011 at 5:15 pm [Reply]
@This Guy (#143):
What is this “art” of which you speak, in Reply All? Because I don’t think there is any, really…
June 14th, 2011 at 5:18 pm [Reply]
@Schroduck (#170):
Considering that these two end up periodically on tiny islands in the middle of the ocean, I would say yes.
June 14th, 2011 at 5:18 pm [Reply]
@Esther Blodgett (#138): Hahahahaha!
gnome de blogJune 14th, 2011 at 5:18 pm [Reply]
@balthazar (#165):
Cayla’s apology was actually a cunning ploy (we have no opinion on what sort of linguist she is), to get Les to admit that he botched the whole thing. Hereafter she will have the upper hand in the relationship because she’ll be able to hold Les’s emotional cowardice and his unfeeling ignorance over his head forever.
Successfully pulling that off would be called “writing,” Mr. Batiuk. If you can do it, more power to you.
Rocky StoneaxeJune 14th, 2011 at 5:20 pm [Reply]
@Mountin Main (#181):
Are you related to MARJORIE MAIN by any chance?
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qskaSRkns8A/S7k19sdTpNI/AAAAAAAANac/RU3xujGlcXc/s1600/Marjorie-Main3.jpg
JessyJune 14th, 2011 at 5:20 pm [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#175): @Esther Blodgett (#176): These two posts are priceless!
Esther BlodgettJune 14th, 2011 at 5:24 pm [Reply]
@Jessy (#188): *runs away embarrassed*
MibbitmakerJune 14th, 2011 at 5:25 pm [Reply]
MORE MT MAN IN COMICS
Curtis:
Barry: “Ma, Mountain Man hit me for no reason!”
Non Sequitur (Pyle Family version):
Danae: “That dirty rotten male jerk stole our cookies!”
Dad: “C’mon! YOU know everybody frames the Mountain Man for things they did themselves!”
Danae: “He was the Mountain Man?”
Popeye: “I knows who’s responskible fer the stoling treasure! It’s Mounting Man Bluto!” (okay, that’s more the animated version…)
GT:
Commmittee Member: “Hey! Ease off, Mountain Man!”
Love is… definately NOT the Mountain Man!
Prickly City: “Why won’t the Mountain Man show us his birth certificate?”
Non Sequitur (generic version):
Caption: “Proof that the Mountain Man is a racist…”
Zits:
Jeremy does something terribly teenage…
Connie: “Of all the kids in this world…”
Walt: “….we get the Mountain Man!”
Marvin: (thinking) “MOMMY! I JUST MOUNTAIN-MANNED MY DIAPER!!!”
Dick Tracy: The Mountain Man being brutally killed by Dick Tracy.
CrankenstankJune 14th, 2011 at 5:26 pm [Reply]
What is “situational homosexuality”? “Will and Grace”? Geez, I’m old.
MibbitmakerJune 14th, 2011 at 5:31 pm [Reply]
Classic Doonesbury:
Mark Slackmeyer (on the radio, discussing the Mark Trail storyline, and says about Myson John): “GUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY!”
AviatrixJune 14th, 2011 at 5:43 pm [Reply]
“Surgery is tougher than it looks!”
“I brought meatball sandwiches.”
Why can’t the comics that are supposed to be funny have punchlines like these?
VioletJune 14th, 2011 at 5:44 pm [Reply]
Going by today’s installment, it would appear that these Pluggers are very nearly if not actually in their nineties, which…the fuck? I would really like to know the precise cocktail of pharmaceuticals and Whoppers that enables these corpulent layabouts to achieve such astonishing longevity. Or is it just hugs from their grandkids? Their AARP-eligible grandkids?
littlestevieJune 14th, 2011 at 5:45 pm [Reply]
MT: Umm, just a question. How come there are no female type people in the Mountain Man Village? If so, then why does Mark want to leave, and then can I call the villagers, The Village People?
TmdessJune 14th, 2011 at 5:45 pm [Reply]
Is it true that Wee Pals is still running? i had a Wee Pals lunch box in 1975 in 2nd grade! No idea why.
AviatrixJune 14th, 2011 at 5:50 pm [Reply]
@Crankenstank (#191): “Situational homosexuality” is the result of rationalizing that “It’s not really gay if …”
AndyLJune 14th, 2011 at 5:51 pm [Reply]
The physics of that web-slinging is completely impossible. I’ll bet crowd is just pointing at the helicopter he’s being dragged by.
Here Come ole FlattopJune 14th, 2011 at 5:52 pm [Reply]
@Mountin Main (#181): I’m afraid you’re going to have to sit on the Group W bench now.
AviatrixJune 14th, 2011 at 5:55 pm [Reply]
@Dood (#124): I was thinking Shylock Fox could wrap this one up. It has Reeky Rat written all over it.
KarMannJune 14th, 2011 at 5:55 pm [Reply]
@Crankenstank (#191): To expand slightly on Aviatrix’s reply, it’s in situation’s where it’s because you have no one else to turn to. Think the stereotypical naval vessels, prisons, and the like.
Here Come ole FlattopJune 14th, 2011 at 5:57 pm [Reply]
After reading the “reviews” of “Reply All,” I had to look. Just WTF is that? This is actually published? If so, where? The Smith’s School for the Blind wouldn’t publish this dreck. Apologies in advance for impugning the integrity of the blind by suggesting they’d follow something like this.
wossnameJune 14th, 2011 at 5:59 pm [Reply]
@Esther Blodgett (#176): **WILD APPLAZ**** Bravo!!! Yay!!!! YEEEEE HAAAHHHH!
gnome de blogJune 14th, 2011 at 5:59 pm [Reply]
@Aviatrix (#193):
Because Woody Wilson isn’t writing them?
June 14th, 2011 at 6:00 pm [Reply]
@Écureuil Écumant (#164): “Counting these out, what is left is Art. I think we must all admit that.”
Mark Twain, Mark Trail, there’s only a two letter difference, after all.
Rocky StoneaxeJune 14th, 2011 at 6:05 pm [Reply]
@Tmdess (#196):
Wee Pals is still running… like a Timex Watch*
http://www.gocomics.com/weepals
*”It takes a licking and keeps on ticking”
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 14th, 2011 at 6:55 pm [Reply]
@Aviatrix (#197): “It’s ok if it’s David Bowie.”
gnome de blogJune 14th, 2011 at 6:59 pm [Reply]
@Écureuil Écumant (#164):
What does that have to do with punching?
June 14th, 2011 at 7:10 pm [Reply]
Clue. This was found outside the town’s convention center.
balthazarJune 14th, 2011 at 7:28 pm [Reply]
@gnome de blog (#186): well, you’ve touched on the conumdrum here. this is an opportunity for batiuk to actually do something right, and we all know where that’s gonna go since this strip has slid into a mishmash of mawkishness …
yaoi huntress earthJune 14th, 2011 at 7:32 pm [Reply]
Luann: Is it weird that I find the flighty, irresponsible Jonah more likable and interesting than his boring, self-righteous sister who’s making her niece mop the floors? Or that a former domestically violent steroid abuser seems to have more morals than a lot of the egotistical cast.
commodorejohnJune 14th, 2011 at 7:38 pm [Reply]
@yaoi huntress earth (#211): Weird or not, I’m right there with you. (Really, Luann’s “villains” and “disreputable” characters all seem a million times more likeable or at least interesting than any of the alleged heroes. I’d much prefer it if the deGroots and company all moved off to a compound where they could be obnoxious anal-retentives together and left the main strip to the people I don’t hate.)
ElkMeadowJune 14th, 2011 at 7:52 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#1):
I am reminded of a Cerebus comic panel. “Man, those must hurt.”
ElkMeadowJune 14th, 2011 at 8:03 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#15):
I grew up in the Pacific Northwest, I was a Forest Service brat, living on a Forest Service compound, was a card carrying member of the Lassie Ranger Club, worked at the Forest Service’s Mount St. Helens Visitor Center, and have more copies of Smokey Comic books than anyone I know, and had Smokey’s Little Golden Book, and shopped at drug stores that carried Golden Key comics, and I have never, ever seen a Woodsy comic book before now. I suspect that all copies were stopped at the border, probably at Montana and Wyoming.
ElkMeadowJune 14th, 2011 at 8:10 pm [Reply]
@Pseudo3D (#41):
FW: Wait, wait, wait. Cayla apologizes first? No! Wrong!
That she goes to his place instead of him crawling on his hands and knees to hers, even wronger.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 14th, 2011 at 8:21 pm [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#213): “If you stop wearing the chain mail, they might heal”
*gigglez*
MustangJune 14th, 2011 at 8:26 pm [Reply]
Shoe – Thanks Roz, maybe you should get a peregrine falcon for a busboy.
ElkMeadowJune 14th, 2011 at 8:26 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#216):
You remembered!
Frank Lee MeidereJune 14th, 2011 at 8:32 pm [Reply]
The other day we were talking about comics that we really enjoy. I can’t believe I forgot to mention one that I think is probably the funniest comic of all time — and no, I’m not exaggerating.
Whether it’s a “strip” or not is debatable, but I highly recommend that you not be drinking any liquids when viewing it.
It’s called “Hyperbole and a Half” and consists of cartoons with text — but that doesn’t begin to describe the awesomeness of its funny.
She sometimes cartoons about her dogs, one of whom is called “simple dog” because he is severly retarded. Simple dog doesn’t do well with such things as moving to a new location, and once ran away and hasn’t been the same ever since. But she also writes a lot about her childhood, including the unexpected adventure of a teenage boy who had the misfortune of attending her birthday party when she was six, thereby getting attacked by a pack of wolves, and The Year Kenny Rogers Ruined Christmas.
She doesn’t post often, but each is accompanied by thousands of comments from her adoring (and probably mentally-disturbed) fans.
Oh — and she just announced that she’s got a book contract!
Seriously, though. Do not drink liquids while reading her stuff!
spikeJune 14th, 2011 at 8:35 pm [Reply]
@Pseudo3D (#41) and @ElkMeadow (#215): Not necessarily–Cayla iniated the breakup after Les’ limp rejoinder to her opening gambit.
Granted, Les is a first-class SOB loser. Cayla should’ve never looked back, kept on going, moved on with her life, etc., but this is the Batiukverse. Logic, common sense, etc. don’t exist here.
yaoi huntress earthJune 14th, 2011 at 8:43 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#212): Too bad that’s pretty much everyone.
commodorejohnJune 14th, 2011 at 8:50 pm [Reply]
@yaoi huntress earth (#221): Too true…
seismic-2June 14th, 2011 at 8:58 pm [Reply]
FW: Greedo Cayla apologized first.
UncleJeffJune 14th, 2011 at 9:31 pm [Reply]
John F. Thrasher was a man….yes, a biiiiiiigggg man!
With an eye like an eagle and as tall as a mountain was heeeeee.
John F. Thrasher was a man….yes, a biiiiigggg man!
He was brave, he was fearless, he was hiding from his Old Dad was heeeeee.
From his plaid wool shirt on the bod of John F. to the heels of his moccasin shoes,
The rippin’-est roarin’-est hidin’-est man who ever put Mark Trail in a pit with his cueeeeeeeee (stick).
John F. Thrasher was a man…yes, a biiiigggg man!
And he fought for America and now a wanted petty burglar is heeeeeeee!
What a dude, what a wuss, what an easy naive target is heeeeeeee!
June 14th, 2011 at 9:46 pm [Reply]
FW: I’m almost tempted to do a reverse Misery with TB. Instead of kidnapping him and torturing him to resurrect one of his dead characters, I feel like kidnapping and torturing him so he’ll KILL THAT GODDAMN PRICK LES.
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 14th, 2011 at 9:58 pm [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#218): Red Sophia! Great issue.
@Frank Lee Meidere (#219): Agreed. The drawing style is almost dangerously crude and expressive, but it carries the story. I can’t imagine a different style harmonizing so well with the very subjective and hilarious nature of the storytelling. I checked my bookmark for it yesterday and was rewarded with the dog story — I thought I got notified when it updated, but I was wrong. Maybe time to put it in Google Reader.
Bill ThompsonJune 14th, 2011 at 10:07 pm [Reply]
@Écureuil Écumant (#164): Don’t forget Rule #14: Eschew surplusage. Every panel in Mark Trail coldly and persistently violates that rule.
Bill ThompsonJune 14th, 2011 at 10:12 pm [Reply]
Mark Trail: The angry villagers are going to head into the mountains to battle Myson John and his traps. But when they meet they’ll find Mark Trail between them. It’s going to be a barbershop quartet version of Michael Jackson in his Beat It video.
JessyJune 14th, 2011 at 10:21 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#151): :D
JessyJune 14th, 2011 at 10:23 pm [Reply]
@Esther Blodgett (#189): Wait up, I’ll cower with you!
gnome de blogJune 14th, 2011 at 10:38 pm [Reply]
#228 Bill Thompson:
Don’t forget that Andy’s up there too. The villagers have no chance.
June 14th, 2011 at 10:47 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#219): That is so incredibly awesome that I’m now severely depressed.
ElkMeadowJune 14th, 2011 at 10:51 pm [Reply]
@Liam (#94):
MW-This strip just looks wrong. One sleeve of Drew’s jacket is black. Liza looks like she is flying in the first panel and in the last panel she looks like she has been sampling some of the hospital’s medication.
I’m sure Liza has been doing more than just “sampling” some of the hospital’s medication. I rather suspect that she has been enjoying Dr. Timothy Leary’s cache. Her desperation is part needing a mmaaayyynnnn and part “the medicine cabinet needs replenishing; I’ll borrow Drew’s pharmacy pad.”
AviatrixJune 14th, 2011 at 10:53 pm [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#226): In the episode with the birthday party the drawings switch stunningly from crude to surprising ability and detail when they are depicting what the girls are imagining. She knows exactly what she is doing.
Clean Everything!
Artist formerly known as BenJune 14th, 2011 at 10:55 pm [Reply]
HtH: Samuel Beckett presents! Vladimir the Marauder! And his sidekick, Lucky Estragon!
9CL: Brooke, Brooke, Brooke. Anyone with even a passing familiarity with your work could look at panel two and guess, down to the smallest detail, what’s on either side of it. You might want to consider changing it up a little.
DtM: Lies lies lies! If that were all your laundry, all we’d see would be red overalls and those cunning blue shirts with the black stripes.
Phantom: Hm. Out of context, the last panel would look like something altogether different.
GT: Ah, Gil Thorp’s wrath in all its passive-aggressive glory.
DT: Holy—! Double Dagwood just totally broke Ponytail’s neck, right? No honor among thieves, and no stinting on the horrifying violence, it looks like.
SFx: If you and your partner perform sexy “burglar and enraged victim” roleplay, make sure she uses a Nerf bat. Safe, sane, and consensual.
C-Shaft: Crankshaft’s conscience won’t allow him to sell obesity-causing dairy snacks to children who at least have to run after his truck. So he gives it to immobilized seniors, many of whom are already in the diabetes risk category. Soft serve euthanasia, you could call it.
Marvin: The title toddler foresees his destiny in filing fraudulent lawsuits.
Ziggy: See, Gilbert Gottfried? There was an upside to losing the Aflac gig. At least you’re not tne one being stalked by Ziggy.
RMMD: “One of the long-term unemployed? Working here? June, you will sterilize everything at night when she leaves, won’t you?”
“I’ve already ordered the supplies.”
June 14th, 2011 at 10:55 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#219): You’ve changed my world. I am in love with Allie!
Frank Lee MeidereJune 14th, 2011 at 10:58 pm [Reply]
@Esther Blodgett (#232): I hear you on that!
Artist formerly known as BenJune 14th, 2011 at 11:05 pm [Reply]
@yaoi huntress earth (#211): The situation is weird, but you’re not unjustified.
Artist formerly known as BenJune 14th, 2011 at 11:08 pm [Reply]
@Here Come ole Flattop (#202): For the sake of the blind, I find myself hoping there’s no Braille edition.
Artist formerly known as BenJune 14th, 2011 at 11:11 pm [Reply]
@This Guy (#143): COTW-worthy comment on Chickweed.
Frank Lee MeidereJune 14th, 2011 at 11:24 pm [Reply]
@Cloudbuster (#236): She deserves all the love she can get.
Frank Lee MeidereJune 14th, 2011 at 11:26 pm [Reply]
Mark Trail: All the villagers will storm the mountain, only to fall into the pit. I’m looking forward to the frame in which we see all the speech balloons coming from the hole in the ground saying things like, “Hey, fellow, what’s going on up there!” and “I landed on my pitchfork, damn it!”
Sgt. StonedJune 14th, 2011 at 11:30 pm [Reply]
@Some Guy (#58): MT: Hey, maybe he also heard at that school he goes to that “mountain man” likes to decorate his moccasins with face powder, too! But, seriously, as the village lynch mob gathers, little do they realize that “mountain man” is a crack SEAL TEAM 6 killer who can make short work of them all and still have plenty of time to leisurely hunt his lunch.
PoteetJune 14th, 2011 at 11:41 pm [Reply]
@Écureuil Écumant (#164): Case closed, nailed, and welded shut. Thank you.
PoteetJune 14th, 2011 at 11:43 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#182): Truly, I am impressed!
Maggie the CatJune 15th, 2011 at 12:11 am [Reply]
RMMD- Oh June, you coy little minx.
Maggie the CatJune 15th, 2011 at 12:14 am [Reply]
MW- “!”? Is that comic-speak for “Mother fuck, you empty headed wench! There is no “WE”, got that? I wouldn’t eat dinner with you again if it were my first meal after getting off the Biggest Loser ranch.”
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 15th, 2011 at 12:15 am [Reply]
@Aviatrix (#234): It’s been a while since I read that — and they’re a pretty strong mental and sensory assault — but I believe you without even going back to check. Because they’re just that amazing.
Frank Lee MeidereJune 15th, 2011 at 12:15 am [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#182): Why don’t they sell actual money bags? you know, the kind the thief is stealing from Mickey Mouse — the kind with a dollar bill on the side. They should also sell official burglar outfits, complete with the masks and little hats. I’m sure there’s a market for this stuff.
Maggie the CatJune 15th, 2011 at 12:26 am [Reply]
MT- That is one freaky bunch of otters. Choo-choo!
Bill ThompsonJune 15th, 2011 at 12:36 am [Reply]
Phantom: “Pain doesn’t concern me.” I have a library-size dictionary and it doesn’t contain any words that can describe this level of stupidity. I’m gonna need a bigger dictionary.
The Amusing Spiderman: Day three of Action Held Hostage. Well, so to speak, because there isn’t even that much action here.
EffYou Wankerbean: I looked at this and I thought that some day, Batiuk will look in the mirror and ask himself how he could write such crap. Then I realized Batiuk can’t risk looking in a mirror. He’d become so mesmerized that he’d pine away from unrequited love.
Bill ThompsonJune 15th, 2011 at 12:54 am [Reply]
Mark Trail: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoJkxNa6v14
The Middletons: As a middle-aged white boy who’s been buying music for over forty years, I’m calling crap on this. I have been treated rudely exactly once by a music-store clerk. That was decades ago in Orange County, California; Miss Wholesome didn’t approve of Anne Murray. Go figure. But I’ve bought all kinds of music from all kinds of clerks, and with that one exception the only comments I’ve heard have been positive. They don’t get snide if I buy Glen Miller or astonished when I buy Siouxsie or sarcastic when I buy classical. Usually when they say something, it’s because they like all kinds of music too and want to chat a bit on a slow day.
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 15th, 2011 at 1:01 am [Reply]
Harken, readers, to a story
Told upon the comics page
Of a guy up on a mountain
And a village full of rage
In the village, words were flying
Things were taken; times were tough
And the village folks were crying,
Mountain Man had stole their stuff.
Go ahead and frame a loner
Go ahead and rob a store
Moccasins in pale pink powder
Make some fake tracks on the floor
Sheriff Dad’ll never cipher
Who to blame this day,
When the goofy tale has ended,
Nature Punch Man goes away.
Nature Punch Man made a visit
To the fool up on the hill
Couldn’t find where he was hiding;
In a hole he took a spill
Meanwhile, mustached teenage speed freak
And his brothers of the bike
Stole eight-tracks and FM tuners
Just the kind the young folks like!
Go ahead and swipe components
Go ahead and leave fake clues
Hide the stuff up in the mountains
Later sell it all for booze
Your plan is sure to falter later
Then you’re gonna pay
And when you think you’re winning
Fist o’ Justice whales away.
Now the valley folks are massing
“He’s a crook! He stole my calf!”
“Mountain Man’s been out trespassing!”
“Mountain Man’s too slick by half!”
They’ll confront the quiet hermit
Threaten him inside his cave
Mark will ask them for their permit
Face them down, so cool and brave.
Go on home and have some flapjacks
Go on home and pet your dog
Tension’s gone, enjoy the laugh track
Later you’ll sleep like a log
When you tell the tale to Rusty
He’ll exclaim “Hooray!”
Even though the plot is dusty
Nature Punch Man saved the day!
June 15th, 2011 at 1:09 am [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#253): I love you, man. This is right up there with The Spectacular Spider-Brick’s contribution yesterthread, in my opinion.
ElkMeadowJune 15th, 2011 at 1:13 am [Reply]
Rant against ehT kcuD at calvinsdad.
Mr O'MalleyJune 15th, 2011 at 1:33 am [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#253): That’s setting the bar pretty high. I think I’ll leave my song parody ideas for another day.
LisaJune 15th, 2011 at 1:42 am [Reply]
SM: “But acting on a stage is nothing– compared to what you do as Spiderman!… Which is, actually, also nothing.”
CS: In the Funkiverse, do all the ice-cream trucks play 3rd Base?
Comcis FanJune 15th, 2011 at 1:53 am [Reply]
FW: We can choose which creepy POV shot that is in the final panel. Is it the vantage point of Lisa’s ghost as she watches Les and inexplicably cancer-scarf-wearing Cayla smooch — one last, lingering look before the ghost finally leaves Les? Or is it the POV of a very troubled, unhinged Susan?
Dobe GJune 15th, 2011 at 2:32 am [Reply]
Luanne: Clueless dickheads Toni and Brad catalogue the ways Shannon’s father is a loser, in front of the kid. Nice work, morons.
Mr O'MalleyJune 15th, 2011 at 3:13 am [Reply]
Well, just one…
Drew Cory! Drew Cory! Didn’t you hear me calling you?
I made you a list of the things you gotta do.
Drew Cory! Drew Cory! Where did you sleep last night?
Your car is a mess and you ain’t driving it right.
Drew Cory! Drew Cory! Where’d you get that salmon square?
There ain’t no meddler in this world can meddle me away from hyar.
Drew Cory! Drew Cory! Don’t gimme no exclamation mark!
No one can tell this woman our relationship done jumped the shark!
Drew Cory! Drew Cory! How come you look at me so funny?
One of these days you’ll find, baby, this woman done boiled your bunny.
So my mind was filled with wonder when the evening headlines read
Drew Cory came home last night and put a bullet through his head
June 15th, 2011 at 6:35 am [Reply]
So…in “Shoe” birds can own dogs and (I’d assume) walk them in the treetops branch to branch. And you thought it was bad when a bird took a dump on you from overhead…..
gleebJune 15th, 2011 at 6:55 am [Reply]
A 3-G: Wouldn’t it be less talking to just say “yes” or “no”?
Pluggers: …are too stupid or lazy or both to throw away evidence.
Bill ThompsonJune 15th, 2011 at 6:59 am [Reply]
Shoe: Birds look upon one another with the longing peculiar to forbidden love, as they are forced to speak of their desires in coded words. “The Chicken Lady is talking about dogs!” Cosmo thinks. “If only I were a dog, so we could have a proper Plugger-style relationship! But if we’re discreet no one will be the wiser. What’s the subtle way to suggest that we fly united?”
But What Do I Know?June 15th, 2011 at 7:10 am [Reply]
@Mountin Main (#205): To paraphrase Mark Twain–the difference between the right word and the almost right word is like the difference between lightening and a lightening bug. . .
teenchyJune 15th, 2011 at 7:27 am [Reply]
My dear wife, who’s not an avid comics reader, has suggested that I point out to the Curmudgeonship that in today’s (15 June) Piranha Club Doris, who is supposedly getting an ultrasound, has electrodes attached to her belly as though she was getting an EKG. The missus has had both procedures performed on her, so I trust her judgement on this.
teenchyJune 15th, 2011 at 7:33 am [Reply]
@teenchy (#266): Having read the strip now myself, I should add that Spongebob is a Nick show, not on Cartoon Network.
Vince MJune 15th, 2011 at 7:59 am [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#219): That is some insane, inspired stuff! But that one story is how Kenny Loggins ruined Christmas. Which is a shame, because I really wanted to hear how Kenny Rogers ruined it.
Little GuyJune 15th, 2011 at 8:19 am [Reply]
I love all the Mountain Man Theme Songs, but the ones by @UncleJeff (#224) and @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#253) deserve special shoutouts.
Calvin's Cardboard BoxJune 15th, 2011 at 8:24 am [Reply]
FW – “Having said that … unfortunately, waiting for me down the road are killer shark issues that will blow these pretensions right out of the ball park. Now come on inside and meet Lisa! I smell a threeway! Or is that just Lisa I smell?…”
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoJune 15th, 2011 at 8:25 am [Reply]
Lio: so, there are housewives hiring squid as pool boys? I’m just going to leave that one out there to fester in your collective mental visual centers.
9CL: at least it’s not handsex this time. . . .
AD: good advice for the artist?
GT: oh, honey, there’s been LOTS of history in the parking lot already.
HotC: *snurk*
MT: otters!
PMP: *creepy*
PBS: d’awwwwwww. (pre Dads Day?)
rMC: hehehehe. Ashley pranks.
IP: fat cat is fat. (hey, it’s worked for Paws Inc. for decades, amirite?)
R&R: no, that strip is a couple panels over. . .
wossnameJune 15th, 2011 at 8:46 am [Reply]
A3G – OK, I’m calling this now: Susan and Iris are sisters. Susan is Tommie’s mother who either (a) has been estranged for many years or (b) Tommie doesn’t know is her mother. If any longtime A3G readers know of any backstory that supports/shoots down this theory, I’d be glad to hear it – I’ve only been reading it since I started reading CC.
DT – Once again this is just a great big ball of awesomeness. The bus station! I love it.
GA – More awesomeness! Let’s hope this ends better than Rusty-trapped-under-the-car-with-the-tide-coming-in – by which I mean, let’s hope little Boog actually gets crushed in the crusher.
MW – Yup – Locher is writing this. Wonder when Moy gets back from vacation.
Phan – Aww, look at Devil. Good doggie. Er, wolfie.
@pay for paper (#261): Now that’s some profound spam.
[Old Man] MuffarooJune 15th, 2011 at 8:56 am [Reply]
@pay for paper (#261): (yawn) spam
me, up there – Just in case it’s not apparent to somebody, it’s to the tune of “One Tin Soldier,” from the original Billy Jack movie. Which, come to think, gives it a layer of subtext. Patient, forbearing Mark takes all he can take, then the mighty fists come out. I’m not sure whether or not that occurred to me last night.
TheMagicMelJune 15th, 2011 at 8:57 am [Reply]
9CL: *Please* tell me Seth’s long suffering boyfriend is not patiently waiting in the wings for Confusion the Ballerino to make up his mind.
ElkMeadowJune 15th, 2011 at 11:25 am [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#270):
I don’t know what strip PMP refers to .
The RidgerJune 15th, 2011 at 5:15 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#219): O.M.G. That blog is one of the funniest things I have ever read in my life. I can’t second this recommendation loudly enough.
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