"She nursed me, a complete stranger, back to health with no thought to the horrors that might come to her and her child from the same evil thugs who murdered her husband. And all you can think to ask is if she was PRETTY??? Actually, she looked exactly like you if you wore a halter top and a wig. So, no, I wouldn't describe her as 'pretty.' I hope she gets back with her relatives or something. Girls are icky." --Mustang
Main navigation: Advertise Discussion Forum About Twitter RSS Feed Search: Main content: « Outside Mark’s comfort zone Metapost: Spring into comments of the week! » Dracula was a member of the “creative class”Spider-Man, 4/15/11
You know, I’ve been regarding Morbius’s nicknames with a certain detached amusement. “The living vampire?” Contradictory, but whatever. “The human vampire?” I suppose there might be vampiriform animals, but isn’t the standard-issue vampire an undead human being? But this “urban Dracula” thing I won’t stand for. Damn you, Jameson, the original Dracula may have been of rustic origins, but surely the entire plot of the novel was driven by his desire to acquire property in London, which at the time was the largest city in the world! He was a quintessentially urban fiend, despite your slander.
Pluggers, 4/15/11
Terry Craig of Dallas, Texas has managed to fit both “pluggers are slobs” and “pluggers are fat” into his entry today. I can never keep track, are these things supposed to be insulting or not?
This entry was posted on Friday, April 15, 2011 at 09:23 am and is filed under Pluggers, Spider-Man. | 225 responses to “Dracula was a member of the “creative class”” queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoApril 15th, 2011 at 9:26 am [Reply]
I was trying to be funny at the end of yesterthread. honest. (not counting the unfunny, but sincere wishes for a better Dingo.)
Maggie the CatApril 15th, 2011 at 9:27 am [Reply]
“There isn’t anything he wouldn’t do for money”— June Morgan R.N.
You can almost see the wheels turning inside Rex’s head.
“Anything? Like make a man out of me?”— Rex Morgan M.D.
True FableApril 15th, 2011 at 9:28 am [Reply]
Don’t know which I like better: Peter having a door slammed in his face, or a ginormous squirrel fleeing before the dreaded prospect of Cherry Trail offering her naughty bits up to Mark. Even she’s only betting on a few days before she gives up.
With Peter, slamming doors are to be expected, so Cherry wins. Sort of.
Maggie the CatApril 15th, 2011 at 9:29 am [Reply]
How could anyone find Dr. Drew intriguing and mysterious? HOW? He’s an open, bland book of boring-ness. Tepid tapioca pudding is more intriguing and mysterious.
LorneApril 15th, 2011 at 9:31 am [Reply]
“Urban Dracula”?
Does this mean the term “Blacula” is politically incorrect now?
April 15th, 2011 at 9:33 am [Reply]
The squirrel in MT is getting the hell out of Dodge. After getting a peek of the Trails’ pathetic attempt at mating a few months ago whilst shelling nuts in the tree outside their window, he has no inclination to witness that awkward spectacle ever again. There aren’t enough acorns in the world to persuade him otherwise.
Not Just Any DipstickApril 15th, 2011 at 9:34 am [Reply]
Pluggers *should* change their shorts every day. Sadly, not all do.
Maggie the CatApril 15th, 2011 at 9:35 am [Reply]
FW- The Fairgoods must really be in dire straits after all. Both Darrin and Jessica have lost their teeth.
Scott BotApril 15th, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]
Archie – Too bad they can’t find someone to make this strip funny.
DT – Have you ever noticed that you don’t see Junior and Archie Andrews in the same place at the same time? Just sayin’
MT – Not much to say here that other ‘mudgeons won’t say more eloquently, but I just wanted to mention that that’s one damn fine squirrel in panel 3.
Pluggers – need to stay downwind of me, if you don’t mind.
Also, best of luck to you, Dingo…
Mark BApril 15th, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]
Well, siince the word baloon in he third panel of today’s Mark Trail is coming out of Cherry’s butt, it may be that she has unrevealed talents which keep Mark entertained and away from all of the other similar looking looking dark hair with blue highlights women who inhabitate his universe.
Gloom RaiderApril 15th, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]
I think that Plugger has actually been shot—probably for eating the chicken parmigiana while being married to a large chicken-lady. (Or, to put in in Spider-Man terms, “suburban poultry.”)
DoodApril 15th, 2011 at 9:39 am [Reply]
I think even Dagwood would be a little wary if a gigantic sweater-wearing bear sauntered into Lou’s diner for lunch.
Mark BApril 15th, 2011 at 9:39 am [Reply]
Inhabit, not inhabitate. I had a Dan Quayle moment.
AustriaApril 15th, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]
BC: Okay, I snerked. I think it’s the combination of a mammoth and a beer truck.
BB: There’s a few different paths to go down here.
1) Sarge is schizophrenic.
2) Too easy.
Curtis: The music offends him. It OFFENDS him. Yeah, it’s crap, but it OFFENDS him? Really?
I’unno, if this guy really is part of the all-powerful, all-knowing Baby Boomer generation, Curtis’ wording here (“free from the constraints of mainstream America”) might just be the ticket to get his dad to not be so offended.
FW: She looks like Pac-Man.
MT: CENSORSHIP SQUIRREL!! That was honestly my first thought. Mark Trail would be a lot funnier if awkward moments happened and then Censorship Squirrel showed up to shield our delicate sensibilities.
SF: “Emo” has reached Slylock Fox. From there it’s only a matter of time before Beetle Bailey and Blondie start making what they think are “emo” jokes. Then they figure out how to combine emo and Twitter. Cue headdesking.
S-M: That is a glorious face. I NEED PICTURES. PICTURES OF URBAN DRACULA.
Zits: This comic strip has got to be one of the most consistently inaccurate and creepy I’ve ever seen.
kauri44April 15th, 2011 at 9:44 am [Reply]
Laugh all you want at Mark Trail, but wow, the last few strips have certainly shown what a gorgeous paradise Lost Forest really is, despite the presence of giant squirrels and Rusty.
ZackApril 15th, 2011 at 9:44 am [Reply]
Re: Dracula, actually, one of the major themes of the novel is that he wasn’t urban. He’s powerful and unstoppable in his rural, home environment, sucking blood and trapping hapless Englishmen behind locked doors at his whim, but you put him in a city, and he’s lost. The book is all about how evil (or at least the kind of evil that Drac represents–Old World aristocracy, decadence, bigamy) is ultimately powerless against the forces of modernity and civilization. There’s a reason they make a big deal out of Mina having the train schedules memorized, and it’s not that nerd girls are hot.
…Wow, it’s not even 10 am, but I’m pretty sure defending a two word slang term in a hopelessly outdated and laughably inept comic strip series is going to be the geekiest thing I do all day.
AnonymousApril 15th, 2011 at 9:47 am [Reply]
Ha ha! The inexorable passage of time renders pluggers unable to feed themselves!
S. StoutApril 15th, 2011 at 9:49 am [Reply]
S-M: I’ve always been puzzled on how J.J. expects Peter to always find super villains and get their picture in a city as large as New York. No one ever questions his methods either. I guess that’s one of those plot holes were supposed to ignore?
Luann: By wearing the dress, Luann is now a saint? Sorry Evans, you can’t save your self-absorbed character with one act, especially when the situation was created by her selfish desires in the first place.
commodorejohnApril 15th, 2011 at 9:50 am [Reply]
@Mr. O’Malley (Y305): Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about. Fascinating!
A3G – That intricate dance, the courtship of Margo’s wallet. “Pull away! The stranger is trying to steal my money! Wait, free? I shall impose myself on his personal space until he commits to giving me something for nothing!”
BB – Subtext? What subtext? This is just plain text.
C&B – I love this strip.
Curtis – “That awful music that used to offend me?” What the hell is this, Herb & Jamaal?
DT – I do believe this is the first time I’ve seen Junior. Of course, it’s entirely possible that he appeared in the Locher years and I just mistook him for a plant.
FW – Notice the blithe expressions as people casually discuss the murder of Jessica’s father right in front of her. “Oh yeah, sure was a bummer how he was shot, I tell ya.” “Oh ya. Say, pass me the creamer there, wouldja?” Also, since we’re on the subject of John Darling, I’m sure we can expect a nice lengthy diatribe on his murder and how cool it was that it was solved by Les who is just a smashing investigative reporter as well as being a Respected Novelist and WHY WON’T YOU GIVE HIM THE PULITZER ALREADY, YOU BASTARDS, YOU GAVE TRUDEA A PULITZER, IT’S MY TURN NOW! MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE! SINCERELY TOM BATIUK.
HOTC – This storyline was boring the living hell out of me until right exactly in panel three. Do they sell Super 8 hats?
JP – Okay, this has actually been a very interesting cycle of pretending to go through the “awful comic strip parenting” motions and then swerving off into something kind of sensible, rinse, lather, repeat. I wonder if Wilson is doing this on purpose?
Luann – I knew this was coming, but WHAT.
MT – Don’t ask what that squirrel is blocking.
MW – AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT BOTH OF YOU!
Monty – I do like this strip.
Phantom – And Chatu lines himself up for a perfect running kick to the ass. It won’t actually help much in the fight, but it’s very cathartic.
Popeye – The bird’s ! is understandable – from a distance this looks like some kind of utterly depraved sex act.
SF – It’s okay, Sally. Just let your inner Ted do the talking.
yeff (Jeff Soesbe)April 15th, 2011 at 9:50 am [Reply]
“Much as the squirrel leaps for the tree, Cherry leaps for Mark Trail. Alas, the squirrel has misjudged the tree, which is clearly a quarter-mile in the distance. And Cherry has similarly misjudged Mark. She will never reach her intended target, either, her target being procreation.”
- yeff
DoodApril 15th, 2011 at 9:52 am [Reply]
Apartment 3-G raises an age-old question: Who will fund Margo’s bun?
zenveloApril 15th, 2011 at 9:54 am [Reply]
The first spark of normal sexuality in Mark Trail, and Cherry’s Depends has slipped down her pants leg….it’s the only thing that explains that lump in her right thigh.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoApril 15th, 2011 at 9:55 am [Reply]
for Dingo. (SFW, unfortunately.)
sit down, Marm, THIS is a big dog! (fun with perspective!)
C&H inspired WIN!
what a Mark Trail panel 2 looks like IRL.
sugar glider squee.
screw the Phantom’s ring, here’s the ring I want! also, more canine perspective.
for True Fable.
otter applaz.
corgsqui in blue.
Elaine CorvidaeApril 15th, 2011 at 9:56 am [Reply]
I’m not up on FW lore – was Jessica’s father murdered in some unusually humorous fashion? Otherwise, I’m at a complete loss as to why everyone in the room seems so cheerfully amused about what sounds like a tragedy.
Oh wait, no I’m not – it’s that they’re all horrible human beings. Mystery solved.
Mark BApril 15th, 2011 at 9:58 am [Reply]
MW: Are they going to strip and go after it right in the restaurant? This kind of abbreviated courtship is rarely seen outside of blue movies. Were Drew and Liza recently at USC?
Wave ManApril 15th, 2011 at 9:59 am [Reply]
FW: I like how Darrin casually reminds everyone, including the daughter, that John Darling was murdered. As if someone in the room didn’t know that already.
Buck RipsnortApril 15th, 2011 at 10:01 am [Reply]
OvertheHedge: This. . . this may be the first gay ant character in comics. There’s a reason for that.
HibbletonApril 15th, 2011 at 10:03 am [Reply]
A3G: At the mention of the word ‘free’, Margo’s panties fly off on their own. I assume everyone is already pantless since they’re only drawn from the waist up.
Mark BApril 15th, 2011 at 10:03 am [Reply]
In Mark Trail, either that squirrell is the size of a german shepherd, or the tree is about 3o yards away from him and he’s juming at something unseen out of frame.
Naked Bunny with a WhipApril 15th, 2011 at 10:06 am [Reply]
Josh, Morbius is “urban” in the sense that he wears terrible spandex from the 1970s.
tb4000April 15th, 2011 at 10:06 am [Reply]
SFx: That emo girl is ridiculously inaccurate without slash marks on her arms. That’s right, I’m going edgy.
Scott BotApril 15th, 2011 at 10:07 am [Reply]
Luann – So instead of sitting him down and telling him honestly that his gown design is hideous, they’re gonna put his name on the program and make him a laughingstock in front of everyone? That’s a really good way to handle the situation.
Gunther, do yourself a huge favor and ask your parents to have you transferred to a different school.
teenchyApril 15th, 2011 at 10:07 am [Reply]
@zenvelo (#22): That, or Cherry’s a tranny.
TheDivaApril 15th, 2011 at 10:07 am [Reply]
Pluggers assume people will be offended by blob of ketchup on their shirt, but not by the disgusting crusty pants they’ve worn for five days straight.
SM: At first I thought that was Jameson’s hand in panel one, not Peter’s, and was wondering how Dick Locher had managed to inherit Spider-Man without anyone hearing of it.
9CL: ….I don’t even want to know.
FW: Les smiles smugly, knowing that as the preeminent (indeed, only) John Darling biographer in the world, his input will be essential to Jennifer’s success. He hasn’t yet decided whether he will magnanimously grace her with his wisdom or crush her like an insect, he’s just relishing the power he has for the moment.
JP: “Manipulate, finagle, exploit, sure, but not trick!”
Luann: This isn’t about ego, it’s about being too big of a coward to be honest to the “Nice Guy” who’s really only doing this in hopes that one day he will be rewarded by getting into her pants. Which is really par for the course for Luann’s relationship with Gunther, now that I think about it.
MW: The direct approach doesn’t seem to be working, so Liza resorts to using the Jedi mind trick.
teenchyApril 15th, 2011 at 10:11 am [Reply]
No snark in this post (I suck at it anyway) but kind thoughts to Dingo. Keep up the good fight, man.
FelixApril 15th, 2011 at 10:12 am [Reply]
Pluggers actually require a bit of vicious insight into their lives. That’s what keeps them so cheerfully humble.
FaoladhApril 15th, 2011 at 10:13 am [Reply]
3G: Margo is still wearing her cleaning gloves (and saying “unfoptunately”, but that’s another issue entirely). I suppose she thinks that touching “blueprints” with her bare skin might give her blue collar or something.
TheDivaApril 15th, 2011 at 10:16 am [Reply]
@Elaine Corvidae (#24): John Darling was shot in the final installment of his spin-off comic. Eventually Les (Specialest Snowflake that he is) solved the murder, but the real culprit was Tom Batiuk’s bitterness over an ownership dispute with his syndicate–the old “If I can’t profit from your misery, no one can” mentality.
Vince MApril 15th, 2011 at 10:17 am [Reply]
@Lorne (#5): I’m so happy to see ‘Venture Brothers’ terminology spreading out to the mainstream. I think ALL vampires should be called Draculas!
Pseudo3DApril 15th, 2011 at 10:20 am [Reply]
MT: Wow, that was easy. Is this the first time Mark and Cherry have had sex?
9CL: It just occurred to me that 9CL is one of the rare class of fiction where everyone is an equally unlikable jerk. As a whole, it’s bad.
Esther BlodgettApril 15th, 2011 at 10:20 am [Reply]
Oh, Dingo, so many good wishes to you and your loved ones as you deal with the latest news. Stay strong and positive, and remember that snarking is recommended by 4 out of 5 comic-strip doctors for good health, so come by when you can. (The 5th doctor lives in Westview, so fuck him.)
PowersApril 15th, 2011 at 10:21 am [Reply]
Regarding Spider-Man…. I thought vampires couldn’t be photographed anyway!
Esther BlodgettApril 15th, 2011 at 10:23 am [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#19): I could not hope to improve on your Funky rant, except to note that Jessica seems to be morphing into some kind of Cro-Magnon as she sits in the Moores’ living room. This is a well-known side effect of being in the presence of Les’ massive brain.
But What Do I Know?April 15th, 2011 at 10:26 am [Reply]
MT — Don’t gaze longingly at that squirrel, Mark–he’s not going to save you from a three-day session with Cherry.
FW — Wow, a documentary film maker and MBA dropout looking to crash for free at a friend/relative’s house! Only in the funny pages!
SM –So, the newspaper editor wants the photographer to get newsworthy pictures–what an important plot twist!!!
Old School Allie CatApril 15th, 2011 at 10:29 am [Reply]
FW – In strips before the time jump, Jessica Darling was a pretty (if a little snooty) cheerleader who didn’t have much going on intellectually. And now we’re told she was in the AV Club? I think that Batuik has been getting his BS at the Lynn Johnston University of Retcon Plot Advancement. And I do mean BS.
S4th – Shouldn’t she be ecstatic to throw those deadbeats out the door? I know I would be!
9CL – This plotline pisses me off more than the USO Spy, Unicorn and Hilary Hahn plots combined. And that’s saying something. Why the hell am I still reading it?
And finally, before I forget – I keep seeing this woman in my Zumba class who has the exact same haircut as Prince Valiant. I want to point this out to someone in the class, but since that’s not a strip we get in the Nashville paper, I doubt anyone would know what I’m talking about.
Rocky StoneaxeApril 15th, 2011 at 10:30 am [Reply]
@Mr. O’Malley (#y305):
Seems to me there’s plenty of scope for more stone towers around the place.
I want to live in a doorless and windowless stone tower like the one Dr. Fate built in the late 1930s. Of course, I’d also need magic-based powers to get inside…
http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100211191344/marvel_dc/images/thumb/a/a6/Tower_of_Fate_001.jpg/200px-Tower_of_Fate_001.jpg
commodorejohnApril 15th, 2011 at 10:36 am [Reply]
@Esther Blodgett (#43): Gah, yes. As they noted over on Son of Stuck Funky, this is the worst of Batiuk’s “hatchet faces” yet. Does he just not realize? I mean, he has technical chops, so it can’t be that he couldn’t draw a human face in profile, but Jesus, how could you not notice?
At least I have this to make me feel better about my own drawings…
LisaApril 15th, 2011 at 10:38 am [Reply]
MT: “Yes, you’ll be busy here at Lost Forest, battling the giant squirrel menace.”
Esther BlodgettApril 15th, 2011 at 10:39 am [Reply]
RMMD: When June tells Rex “There isn’t anything he wouldn’t do for money,” it’s more a five-star review than a warning.
GT: Cor-tez! Cor-tez! Praise the Lord and scuff the ball!
H&J: Jamaal’s a pretty calm dude, considering that he’s drinking coffee from a mug the size of Herb’s head.
DoodApril 15th, 2011 at 10:39 am [Reply]
In the Trailverse, it appears that mating between humans requires the release of woodland animal proxies.
Rocky StoneaxeApril 15th, 2011 at 10:40 am [Reply]
Willy & Ethel — Tofu one joke. (Bet he can’t do the Jumble, either!)
Funky Winkerbean — There’s so much death in Funkytown that the murder of John Darling barely rates a mention!
Sylvia — Even Fashion Police can’t make me read this comic. (However, I sneaked a peek at today’s strip, so I could determine whether or not it falls under his/her/its jurisdiction — and it does. Sorry, Fashion Police!)
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle PatrolApril 15th, 2011 at 10:42 am [Reply]
FW: Jess, the former head cheerleader, in the AV Club? That’s even more unbelievable than Les having multiple women fighting over him.
Plinko CommieApril 15th, 2011 at 10:43 am [Reply]
Family Circus: Ah, April 15, when Big Daddy Keane’s ambiguity toward his children reaches its yearly high point. On the one hand, he gets to mark them down as dependents. On the other hand, he’s acknowleding, for another year, that they are in fact his children and not a wandering troupe of fat, grubby midget squatters taking control of his residence with their weapons-grade stupidity communicated by a crude creole of malapropisms, spoonerisms and barely-decipherable bleats. Choose wisely you must, Daddy.
Sally Forth: You’d think a veteran HR manager with longstanding antipathy toward her staff would drool at the prospect of giving them the heave-ho, especially since the blood is firmly affixed to someone else’s hands. Someone who wears a perpetual smirk as a badge of her identity should not drop it for this of all causes. She should warm up by firing Hilary from the family using a variety of cruel, disinterested and fun-for-everyone methods.
(Poster’s Note: In my zeal to get this brilliant commentary out, I typed “blood is firmly affixed to someone else’s nads”. A phrase that will come in handy this summer when the Forths vacation in the Tracyverse)
Beetle Bailey: The secret to mental health, as it turns out, is forcible sodomy.
Blondie: A breathtaking sunset against an idyllic waterfront backdrop, with his beloved by his side, and we’re expected to believe Dagwood has ever shared food?
Curtis: There’s a couple of interesting things going on in this strip, and shockingly, neither have to do with church ladies’ hats or Barry’s bedwetting tendencies.
The first panel shows us Curtis’s dad commenting on not being able to hear the awful music that USED to offend him. Ostensibly this is an iPod joke, and the next panel reveals as such, but Josh also prophesied that at some point in the frozen-in-amber Curtistimeline, Greg’s youth would be retconned to match the present reality to the point where, instead of lamenting the existence of “rap”, he would instead wring his hands at the poor quality of it compared to back in the day. The coming of Old School Greg is at hand, I believe, so those of you waiting for an, ahem, major media outlet to make a Fat Boys reference might soon be placated.
Also, Curtis has finally broken away from the recording industry machine and is embracing indie music! OK, fine, he’s probably confusing “independent thinkers who record free from the constraints of mainstream America” for “highly-sponsored and promoted hip-hop superstar whose Autotuned voice speaks to a strictly-constructed artifice of vaugely revolutionary ideals.” Still, I prefer to believe that, upon watching Arcade Fire defeat Eminem, Katy Perry and the Ladys for the Album of the Year Grammy, he threw away all his “rap” posters and started downloading Deerhunter and Bon Iver albums. We’ll know the transformation is complete when he starts wearing ironic t-shirts and rhapsodizes about the virtues of PBR.
Marvin: In which the cartoonist believes the desire for stereoypically weird pregnancy foods somehow transfers in utero to the child. Leave it to the Marvin creator to so accurately potray a thick, brown substance. Bonus points for Marvin explaining that the whipped cream and cherry on top is, in fact, whipped cream and a cherry and not, say, seafoam and a disembodied uvula.
Funky Winkerbean: Putting aside the predictable “do ho ho are we sure John Darling wasn’t in fact murdered by CANCER?” joke that I still wanna make: what in HELL is up with Darrin and Jessica’s chins? Jessica in particular looks a bit like a blonde Homsar from the side.
Zits: You’d think Jeremy would be less bothered by Connie’s nagging in the final panel and more bothered by her watching him shower.
Lockhorns: What neighbor of the Lockhorns would invite them anywhere outside of a UFC octagon or a meat grinder?
Gasoline Alley: Clovia isn’t angry that they have to pay a $220 dinner bill; no, she’s angry because every time Slim says the word “stiff” in the final panel, it reminds her that he hasn’t had an erection since the Truman administration.
Just Call Me EApril 15th, 2011 at 10:49 am [Reply]
DT: Junior is back! Ah the joys just keep coming and coming with the new DT team!
Rocky StoneaxeApril 15th, 2011 at 10:49 am [Reply]
4-15 Weird Sound Effects:
Mutts — CRASH
Spider-Man — SLAM!
Pickles — SNIFF! x 5
Sherman’s Lagoon — SPLAT! x 4… ZING! x 4
Bonus Sound Effect:
Batman Head Clanger!
http://www.entrecomics.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/clang.jpg
Effluvius ErratusApril 15th, 2011 at 10:50 am [Reply]
Crank: Five pounds?!?! Jesus Christ, Ed, just how many times did you jack off in panel 1?
DoodApril 15th, 2011 at 10:53 am [Reply]
Hey, Jonah, would you settle for a rural Dracula? There’s this place called Hootin’ Holler that you should have a reporter investigate. Short of that, how about a plugger Dracula? Plugger Draculas tend to favor — get this — anthropomorphic chickens. Yeah, I know, crazy. Still, the Daily Bugle should be all over this.
bartcowApril 15th, 2011 at 10:57 am [Reply]
…Also, Pluggers are filthy animals in crusty pants.
And I’m not really up on my vampire lore, but if a vampire can’t be seen in a mirror, wouldn’t that also mean he couldn’t be photographed? Peter could just take a random shot of a New York alleyway, claim that Morbius was really in it, just invisible (“See, JJ, right there in front of that Spectacular Brick!”), collect his check, and be home in time to catch Wheel of Fortune. Peter Parker, ftw!
RandalllApril 15th, 2011 at 10:58 am [Reply]
Silly Luann, she’s putting the dress on upside down.
Krazy KatApril 15th, 2011 at 11:01 am [Reply]
It looks like Larry Lieber attended the “Joe Giella Master Class on Human Gestures and How To Render Them.” Joe’s secret? Hands! Humans, like, do things with their hands when they talk to each other!
“What do I pay you for? Hands!”
“Actually you don’t! Hands!”
“Get me a shot of that urban Dracula tonight! HANDS!”
Larry definitely got his money’s worth!
April 15th, 2011 at 11:02 am [Reply]
I too am wondering how J.J.J. expects Peter Parker to photograph a vampire, even an urban one. What’s next, demanding exclusive pictures of Sue Storm, the Invisible Girl?
AhClemApril 15th, 2011 at 11:02 am [Reply]
Dear Galactic Emperor Chennux:
Please pay a visit to Illinois and magmacannon that thing growing inside Dingo’s head. Thank you.
P.S. As long as you’re in the midwest, take a side trip to Westview and vaporize everyone in Les moore’s house, too.
The NarratorApril 15th, 2011 at 11:04 am [Reply]
@Katy (Y223):
She smiles sweetly at the child. “And so nine months after the mild concussion of 1998, you came into the world”.
KatyApril 15th, 2011 at 11:08 am [Reply]
@The Narrator (#63): You win.
KatyApril 15th, 2011 at 11:09 am [Reply]
“And she wants to make one about her dad … John Darling, the TV host who was murdered.”
“He killed a friend of mine’s pet bear!”
Rocky StoneaxeApril 15th, 2011 at 11:10 am [Reply]
@teenchy (#33):
That, or Cherry’s a tranny.
Trannys are awesome — especially the red cherry kind!
http://www.marvelmasterworks.com/marvel/hcs/omniboo/images/omni_devildino01_b.jpg
BigTedApril 15th, 2011 at 11:10 am [Reply]
Give the guy a break — you try finding more than one pair of size-68 jeans in the BearDog Collection at J.C. Penney.
IchiApril 15th, 2011 at 11:11 am [Reply]
Pluggers plug
http://www.flickr.com/photos/15187477@N03/5622110748/in/photostream
April 15th, 2011 at 11:12 am [Reply]
Crankshaft: What is the antonym for “fanservice”?
KatyApril 15th, 2011 at 11:13 am [Reply]
ALSO. Because apparently I can think of something only after I’ve hit “post” for my previous something. Peter Parker is recycling the Lini Verde “Hmm, I don’t see anyone else who’s a Jesus freak” gesture.
ALSO ALSO. People have already said this, but in Westview, the mention of someone’s murdered father elicits “Cool, you’re gonna make a movie!” excitement? This … this has to be meta in some way. Batiuk *has* to realize how repellent his characters’ behavior is. Doesn’t he?
commodorejohnApril 15th, 2011 at 11:19 am [Reply]
@The Narrator (#63): …you know, I seriously want a line like this to say to my kids some day.
(The “concussion” part I’m negotiable on.)
Rocky StoneaxeApril 15th, 2011 at 11:20 am [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#1): Don’t sweat the small stuff. I’m sure you brought a smile to a few faces — including Dingo’s!
DoodApril 15th, 2011 at 11:23 am [Reply]
Did someone tell that plugger bear to go fork himself?
Artist formerly known as BenApril 15th, 2011 at 11:25 am [Reply]
S-M: JJJ is just being predictably New-York-o-Centric. For him the Big Apple is the only real city.
A3G: “Who do you want me to boink? Cuz I’m ready to do it.”
MT: Heh heh, you know what Mark is gonna be doing for the next few days. That’s right, yardwork!
DT: Hey, it’s Niki! Haven’t seen him since his garage cleaning days with the Morgans.
GT: “More color commentary as soon as I take another swig of ‘coffee’ from my trusty thermos. Aaah, that’s good ‘coffee’.”
Momma: dontwanttoknow dontwanttoknow dontwanttoknow
BB: Why does Sarge need Beetle when he’s got a hand, I guess?
MW: Maybe they are a good match. She’s obsessed with him, and so is he.
BSt: Catching up with the post-retirement Dick Locher.
RMMD: “There isn’t anything he wouldn’t do for money, or for a free peak at the twins.”
“I swear June, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
*sigh* “No you don’t, Rex. You sure don’t.”
Popeye: “Ahem. I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a beaver shot today.”
Crankshaft: Yeah, didn’t see it. I clicked on the link and there was nothing but red x’es. That’s what I’m going to keep telling myself.
Artist formerly known as BenApril 15th, 2011 at 11:28 am [Reply]
@Red Greenback (#69): Looking for something?
timmy the dying boyApril 15th, 2011 at 11:29 am [Reply]
I didn’t think it possible, but Mallard Fillmore has become even more paranoid.
Maggie the CatApril 15th, 2011 at 11:30 am [Reply]
@timmy the dying boy (#76): Uh oh… we don’t speak of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named here….
GDwarfApril 15th, 2011 at 11:37 am [Reply]
S-M: Uh, how does Jameson expect Peter to get a photograph of a vampire, urban or not, when the lore is pretty clear on them not showing up on film?
Will his next assignment be to photograph a solar eclipse at midnight?
Red GreenbackApril 15th, 2011 at 11:40 am [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#75): Fetish Retardant. Thanks, Ben!
Scott BotApril 15th, 2011 at 11:43 am [Reply]
S-M – Debate over whether a vampire can be captured on film aside, I think there’s a much deeper and more profound question at stake here – namely, how in the hell does the boss get his hair to stand up like that?
RhekaridApril 15th, 2011 at 11:49 am [Reply]
Oh my god, I’ve figured out why Morbius is the living/human vampire! Neither Peter nor his boss have a reflection; Morbius is the only human left in a world of real vampires! Suddenly it all makes sense. No wonder Peter Parker spends the entire day hibernating in his apartment.
UncleJeffApril 15th, 2011 at 11:49 am [Reply]
Juggs Parker: “And then after you get that ‘creating common ground’ crap down, your mommy is going to show you some pole tricks and gestures she learned to put herself through college until the trust fund kicked in.”
The Knight Life: Hey “Crankshaft”…you want to see how to do a pun correctly?
Dingo: All the best. We miss you.
TaggedApril 15th, 2011 at 11:53 am [Reply]
NS: Now we come to the real reason Wiley’s done his Anti-Twitter rant this week: an excuse for Danae to use her ‘catch-phrase’ for those with a Y chromosome. (Like ’stinky-booger’ is a better catch-phrase than ‘ooh-ooh-ooh’..)
TheTJApril 15th, 2011 at 11:53 am [Reply]
JJJ’s demands are getting unreasonable, I don’t think Vampires show up on film. Mext thing you know he’ll be demanding pictures of Spiderman fighting crime, or some other equally impossible thing.
TheTJApril 15th, 2011 at 11:54 am [Reply]
Ugh, *Next* not “mext”
…Stupid typos and my inabilty to change them.
bats :[April 15th, 2011 at 11:55 am [Reply]
@Esther Blodgett (#41): there are doctors in Westview?!? :o
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#46): you’re not seeing the back of the tower…lovely French doors, two balconies, several shrubberies with a nice little path…
@Just Call Me E (#54): yes! The new team’s work is just so much fun!
BradApril 15th, 2011 at 12:01 pm [Reply]
What’s with the look of total glee on Darin’s face in Friday’s Funky Winkerbean as he mentions that his wife’s dad was murdered? It’s like he’s saying “Ha! You can have your cancer and your war stories. WE’VE got MURDER!!”
Bill ThompsonApril 15th, 2011 at 12:05 pm [Reply]
Spider-dweeb: “A shot of Urban Dracula” is the new code phrase for “a stiff belt of Old Thunderbird.” This strip will drive anyone to drink.
Good luck, Dingo.
Scott BotApril 15th, 2011 at 12:12 pm [Reply]
@tb4000 (#31): I was gonna mention something about the emo girl in SfX, but a) the drawing is actually quite good, and b) I’m not about to disparage the strip that gave us Cassandra Cat.
odinthorApril 15th, 2011 at 12:14 pm [Reply]
Best of luck to Dingo!
Baldo. — Somehow, thinking of human existence as God’s playground doesn’t cheer me up.
C&B. — “So too does it…”
Dilbert. — Oooh, they get to talk to the chalky substance! Most of us only get as far as the ill-smelling stain.
GT. — In panel one, Derek kindly models for us the curious fact that, in Milford, a teen boy’s posterior looks just like his anterior. Kaz meantime shows that age and wisdom bring more developed glutes.
MT. — “Busy? What do you mean I’m going to be busy here, Cherry? Does Andy need his flea bath? Or Rusty?”
MW. — “I can tell we’re a good match because you intrigue me, and me is all that matters. Now take off your clothes, sit up, and beg.”
Walker of DogApril 15th, 2011 at 12:15 pm [Reply]
@Old School Allie Cat (#45): You guys are so behind the times. New Yorkers have been asking their stylists to give them “The Full PV” for months now. Haven’t you seen the latest Jennifer Aniston photo spread in “Vanity Fair”. That lady can rally rock a bowl cut.
Mardou FoxApril 15th, 2011 at 12:16 pm [Reply]
Pluggers: He also hit the “Pluggers don’t give a shit” trope.
Dennis JimenezApril 15th, 2011 at 12:22 pm [Reply]
S-M – I’m sorry, but there’s always a weird homoerotic thread running in this strip – not that there’s anything wrong with that….
Pluggers use the washer rinse water for soup, cuz they’re that frugal….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoApril 15th, 2011 at 12:23 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#89): I repeat my yesterthread suggestion to immediately hire the kid to do the art for Reply All. Heck, maybe even do the writing/scripts as well!
Mardou FoxApril 15th, 2011 at 12:23 pm [Reply]
MT: OK, I know it’s Mark Trail, but if Mark didn’t have Cherry to come home to, then how could he scare her half to death by not coming home? Just sayin’.
commodorejohnApril 15th, 2011 at 12:32 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#94): The art would be a damn sight better, and the writing certainly couldn’t be worse.
SpundeApril 15th, 2011 at 12:32 pm [Reply]
Beetle Bailey: When they make the subtext the text, it takes all the snicker out of it.
greghousesgfApril 15th, 2011 at 12:33 pm [Reply]
so all women with large boobs are supposedly Pluggers?
Professor FateApril 15th, 2011 at 12:34 pm [Reply]
FW: Lost admist the creepy Les Smirk (I know everything about John Darling), the lighthearted manner in which a murder is taked about right in front of the victim’s daughter, and the rather awful drawing is Summer’s weird excitment that Jessica is a documentary film maker. anybody with acces to a flip video camera and You Tube can be a documentary fim maker.
MW: i have to think about a weeks worth of pannels were lost in the mail somehow because nothing i’ve seen explains why she is so fasinated with Drew – who seems the standard MW universe smug dick. ‘never met anyone like you?” Lady you work in a hospital (when you do decide to work) guys like Drew are taking your parking spots every day.
9CL: Go away. Now.
Luann: Just put a contraption that shots fire & fire from your bra and you can claim it was inspiried by Lady Ga-Ga.
GulielmaApril 15th, 2011 at 12:34 pm [Reply]
Candorville: Going for poignant, but the custody story has been going on forever.
Sally Forth: Remind me why Ralph is supposed to be the bad guy and Jeff is supposed to be the nice boss. And Sales sells products. Marketing makes companies and people want to buy products. Not the same thing.
Spiderman: I think Jameson knows that Parker can’t photograph a vampire. He’s just giving Parker an impossible task to drop him from the free lance list.
GulielmaApril 15th, 2011 at 12:37 pm [Reply]
Elaborating on my last post: the Sales Department at Sally’s company is going to find it a tad hard to sell their watchamacallits when no one has made them aware that the Watchamacallit 6000 exists.
TobyApril 15th, 2011 at 12:37 pm [Reply]
The worst Pluggers are this kind
HankApril 15th, 2011 at 12:38 pm [Reply]
Not being “urban” is a slander? Josh is one those people who arrogantly dismisses anyone in “flyover country” isn’t he?
MaryAnnTheRestApril 15th, 2011 at 12:41 pm [Reply]
BC: I think it’s funny that the caveman is holding a cordless microphone. Is it really a stick with a rock on top? Did he learn this behavior from the Ancient Aliens?
Beetle: Why? Just … why?
I missed Dingo on yesterthread. Please accept this virtual classy martini and my best karma.
EarthgirlApril 15th, 2011 at 12:41 pm [Reply]
MT: “I’ll try not to, especially if I still have you to come home to!” If? Dear God, please don’t tell me Mark Trail will be the next strip to have a fake wife-death plot, leaving Mark free to wander the oceans with Lonnie while moping endlessly. Of all Mark’s faults, at least he doesn’t mope.
NekrotzarApril 15th, 2011 at 12:44 pm [Reply]
And Parker, while you are it , see if you can track down that exoskeletal Spider-Man.
Dingo: kick some tumoric arse.
Effluvius ErratusApril 15th, 2011 at 12:44 pm [Reply]
@Maggie the Cat (#4):
How could anyone find Dr. Drew intriguing and mysterious?
and @Professor Fate (#99):
…nothing i’ve seen explains why she is so fasinated with Drew…
Maybe Dr. Drew is a suburban vampire?
“Look into my eyes. You are feeling sleepy…sleepy…I mean, sleepier than you usually feel when I’m around…”
H-BobApril 15th, 2011 at 12:44 pm [Reply]
@TheTJ (#84): What do you mean “Vampires don’t show up on films” ? If only, then I would have been spared watching the “The Hunger”, not to mention those Twilight movies !
McManxApril 15th, 2011 at 12:45 pm [Reply]
Pluggers — Josh, don’t forget “Pluggers’ hands shake from years of alcohol abuse.” And possibly tooth loss is suggested as well. This could be the most cruel “Pluggers” ever!
MorndewApril 15th, 2011 at 12:45 pm [Reply]
@Maggie the Cat (#4):
I must argue.
Tapioca? What ARE those thingies in tapioca pudding? What exactly IS tapioca anyway??? Can it be used in any other way than pudding?
Dr. Drew? I got nuthin.
April 15th, 2011 at 12:46 pm [Reply]
Actually, Pluggers can’t wear the same pants for a week — they need a bigger size before the week’s out. Amiright?
AaaaviatrixApril 15th, 2011 at 12:47 pm [Reply]
@Maggie the Cat (#4): The mystery to Liza is that he’s the only man who hasn’t fled before enduring more than five minutes of her desperate simpering.
trey le parcApril 15th, 2011 at 12:51 pm [Reply]
Pluggers: The title of this strip isn’t an homage to the plucky denizens that inhabit this strip. No, “Pluggers” refers to the constant assaults they mount against their cartoon arteries. This strip literally reeks of grease and high cholesterol. It slides off the page into a puddle of abject and congealed misery.
AaaaviatrixApril 15th, 2011 at 12:52 pm [Reply]
@S. Stout (#18): I think JJ considers PP an idiot savant of superhero/supervillain photography.
Rocky StoneaxeApril 15th, 2011 at 12:55 pm [Reply]
@Walker of Dog (#91):
You guys are so behind the times. New Yorkers have been asking their stylists to give them “The Full PV” for months now.
“PV” also stands for polyvinyl, so you could end up with wine stains — or worse — on your Plugger-style shirt…
http://reviewermag.com/press/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/sxsw-polyvinyl.jpg
Effluvius ErratusApril 15th, 2011 at 12:56 pm [Reply]
@Pozzo (#111): Pluggers’ pants all have elastic waists.
mollificentApril 15th, 2011 at 12:56 pm [Reply]
@Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#y273): AUGH!! I’m so sorry. Please keep us posted as best you can (and if your family is able to follow up after your surgery, that would be great too). You’re the man, Dingo.
The NarratorApril 15th, 2011 at 1:06 pm [Reply]
@greghousesgf (#98):
Greg House’s large-breasted girlfriends face grows somber as she quietly contemplates the horrifying possibility that she might actually be a Plugger.
Not Just Any DipstickApril 15th, 2011 at 1:07 pm [Reply]
@Mark B (#13): More like an Obama 57 states belief.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoApril 15th, 2011 at 1:07 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#96): that was pretty much my thoughts as well. I used to think that Family tree was the fugliest strip out there, but RA has it beat by a mile and then some.
gnome de blogApril 15th, 2011 at 1:10 pm [Reply]
Jessica reconning herself into the AV club “back in high school” is illuminating. The real trouble with FW, why it’s so gloomy and depressing, is that everybody’s best days were back in high school. Except Les, who went back to teach in his old high school. Les is a vulture.
John Small BerriesApril 15th, 2011 at 1:11 pm [Reply]
I have to call shenanigans on Pluggers. No true Plugger would handle a fork with his pinkie sticking out like that.
gnome de blogApril 15th, 2011 at 1:15 pm [Reply]
June knows her weasels, too.
So does Abbey Spencer, since she is one.
Not Just Any DipstickApril 15th, 2011 at 1:16 pm [Reply]
@Powers (#42): Ye Gods, Why did I not see that one. Next they’ll put him in a line-up and tell him to look in the mirror. Hee Hee.
commodorejohnApril 15th, 2011 at 1:18 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#120): Well, I still maintain that Family Tree has a kind of malicious, hateful, anti-aesthetic quality to it. [*] But for jaw-dropping shoddiness, I’d say that Lobster Hair even beats out Crock.
Little GuyApril 15th, 2011 at 1:34 pm [Reply]
@S. Stout (#18): Luann: And Greg Evans has entered the FOOB Hose-aphon Zone where Luann wins the contest to thunderous applause, to the detriment of Becky Tiffany.
Spidey: Boring Ranting Hitler J^3 is still boring.
The Spectacular Spider-BrickApril 15th, 2011 at 1:34 pm [Reply]
@Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#273): Best of luck to you, man.
I can’t help but notice that this started happening when you became the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate. I encourage you to re-embrace your depraved old ways with all speed.
ElkMeadowApril 15th, 2011 at 1:35 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#32):
Gunther is going to be the next Mary Sue. His creation will win him a summer intern scholarship to NYC, where he’ll be gone for a few months, and come back in time for school, looking the same, and everyone acting as if nothing ever happened.
Not Just Any DipstickApril 15th, 2011 at 1:36 pm [Reply]
Dingo, All the best. Time is all anyone has, may yours continue, if not for all that long, at least let it be well lived. Amen and Amen.
ElkMeadowApril 15th, 2011 at 1:38 pm [Reply]
@Powers (#42):
Depends upon which set of vampires you’re talking about. Cullens & Co. are front and center of every indoor photo op.
terrapinApril 15th, 2011 at 1:41 pm [Reply]
BB: No, being your own best friend is not the secret to mental health. That’s the secret to being a narcissist.
MT: Next time Mark, try not to scare them NEARLY to death.
FW: “I was also the only girl in high school with a Jay Leno chin!”
Pluggers: Like a plugger would even notice that he was dribbling on himself.
Crankshaft: NO! For the love of God, NO!
Sparkle PlentyApril 15th, 2011 at 1:47 pm [Reply]
Mark should also tell his editor not to discuss his assignments from government agencies in front of other people (Kelly) who are sitting in his office.
And Mark should take Cherry to New York for a vacation from dreary Lost Forest. Stay at a nice hotel, see a couple of shows, eat at some good restaurants, get acquainted.
Effluvius ErratusApril 15th, 2011 at 1:50 pm [Reply]
@Sparkle Plenty (#132): Imagine Mark’s surprise when he discovers that he already lives in NYC and that Lost Forest is really Central Park.
StoutHeartedApril 15th, 2011 at 2:03 pm [Reply]
I thought today’s message was “Pluggers are dumb” because they can’t seem to eat a meal without stabbing themselves in the chest with their fork.
RobinApril 15th, 2011 at 2:04 pm [Reply]
I read JJ’s line as “Get me a shot of that turban Dracula tonight” and it brought amusing mental images.
Pseudo3DApril 15th, 2011 at 2:05 pm [Reply]
BB – I’m surprised they got this past the syndicates. Seriously, I can’t think of any other explanation.
Effluvius ErratusApril 15th, 2011 at 2:08 pm [Reply]
@Robin (#135): Interestingly* enough, the historical Dracula may well have worn a turban during his youth spend as a hostage to the Ottomans. /nerd
*may not be interesting
Maggie the CatApril 15th, 2011 at 2:08 pm [Reply]
@Morndew (#110):
LOL, it’s some weird rice-like thing from Asia I think. And besides pudding, it’s used to thicken fruit pie fillings sometimes. Now see, even with my enlightenment, tapioca STILL holds more intrigue and mystery than Dr. Drew.
April 15th, 2011 at 2:08 pm [Reply]
@Dingo: I’m so sorry. Esther Blodgett@41 is so right! (Especially what what she said about Doctor #5!). Do continue snarking as only you can!
TheDivaApril 15th, 2011 at 2:11 pm [Reply]
Belated prayers and best wishes for Dingo and family. I wish I had words of wisdom or philosophy that could make this difficult time easier for you, but anything I could say would probably come out sounding like a Mary Worth platitude, and there are enough of those in the world already.
AviatrixApril 15th, 2011 at 2:12 pm [Reply]
@Austria (#14): I postulate an alternate universe version of this strip where Mark has romantic encounters at a rate somewhere between “bisexual James Bond” and “plumber in a porn movie,” with gigantic animals always leaping into frame just in time to keep it all safe for a family paper. You know there’s a lot of steamy action off-panel anyway, when you consider how well-ironed Mark’s shirts always are.
Artist formerly known as BenApril 15th, 2011 at 2:19 pm [Reply]
@Vince M (#39):
I think ALL vampires should be called Draculas!
Or Blaculas, as the case may be.
MaryAnnTheRestApril 15th, 2011 at 2:25 pm [Reply]
@Little Guy (#126): I think you just invented a useful critical term.
Sophie at cheerleader tryouts? Hoseaphone Zone.
Drew attracting women? Hoseaphone Zone.
Anything, anything to do with Les Moore? Hoseaphone Zone.
April 15th, 2011 at 2:26 pm [Reply]
Pluggers: Someone so galactically fat…how can a person-bear get that big…not getting every calorie into his gob…DIVIDE BY ZERO ERROR!
SPECIAL TO FASHION POLICE: Does that blob enhance the sweater’s fashionability? The one on top of the sweater, not the one the sweater contains.
SequelManApril 15th, 2011 at 2:28 pm [Reply]
@Buck Ripsnort (#27): Welllll… like a good drag star, s/he starts singing showtunes from ANTie Mame.
Baka GaijinApril 15th, 2011 at 2:33 pm [Reply]
Sally Forth: If I were downsizing those lazy arguing Jeremy Duncans buttheads, I’d say that just one of the marketing staff will be retained. Only after the Forth’s cars are washed inside and out, the yardwork done, Ted’s wacky Pez dispenser collection polished, her mother mysteriously “disappeared,” would I tell them that the retained staff member is me. Bwah, ha ha ha!
No, I don’t have points on my hair. Why do you ask?
Artist formerly known as BenApril 15th, 2011 at 2:36 pm [Reply]
Still need to do some investigating on what’s going on, but let me wish Dingo the best now. It can’t hurt.
commodorejohnApril 15th, 2011 at 2:38 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#146): If I were downsizing them, I’d have them fight to the death for the one remaining position.
BootsyApril 15th, 2011 at 2:38 pm [Reply]
Dingo, I can never hear the phrase “farting Lady of Spain” without thinking of you! Come to think of it, I have never heard that from anyone but you anyway. Many many many warm thoughts and mental hugs and good wishes. We love you!
Boots
vanyaApril 15th, 2011 at 2:39 pm [Reply]
Funny just today I noticed a coryphee bearing a fardel of darbies.
Christ, what an asshole.
Doctor HandsomeApril 15th, 2011 at 2:40 pm [Reply]
I’m not sure what to make of Peter’s response in panel 2. Is he coyly trying to play hardball with Jonah, or is he, for the first time in his life, actually making the connection between effort and reward?
Baka GaijinApril 15th, 2011 at 2:44 pm [Reply]
Lockhorns: One hundred internet dollars says those pajama bottoms were a special gift from the party throwers. No one should be subjected to Leroy’s secret shame.
Dilbert: Big Boss and Jamaal J. Jamaal-separated at birth?
Marvin: I’m going to talk to the chicken now.
Baka GaijinApril 15th, 2011 at 2:45 pm [Reply]
Blondie: “How about the sunset before that?” inquires Blondie.
“June 29, 1996, Sunburn Beach. Mmmm, chocolate sauce, whipped cream, navel shots, and a cherry. Hee, hee!”
April 15th, 2011 at 2:47 pm [Reply]
@Doctor Handsome (#151): ‘Actually, you don’t – unless I sell you a photo. You mean if I create a desirable product, I can exchange it for money? Wow, that’s just crazy enough to work!’
DoodApril 15th, 2011 at 2:50 pm [Reply]
Maybe Peter’s simply misunderstanding J. Jonah Jameson, who’s actually ranting about wanting photos of an urbane Dracula. How else can he and his wife throw that wonderfully droll dinner party they’re planning at their place in the Hamptons?
Baka GaijinApril 15th, 2011 at 2:50 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#148): After you had them tackle all your chores, then the fight, then you’d tell the victor that there is no job. Right? It’s really no fun if they’re not emotionally crippled, you know.
commodorejohnApril 15th, 2011 at 2:52 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#156): Yeah, that’s true. Or do I go for the subtler approach, and run the “winner” through an infinite list of increasingly-banal tasks to be performed before they’re truly qualified, and see how long it takes them to snap?
Artist formerly known as BenApril 15th, 2011 at 2:55 pm [Reply]
@Lorne (#5): Oops. Didn’t realize you had gotten there first.
Red GreenbackApril 15th, 2011 at 2:55 pm [Reply]
Pluggers stain their shirts on purpose hopin’ that one of these days the stain will turn out lookin’ like Jesus.
Baka GaijinApril 15th, 2011 at 2:55 pm [Reply]
@Morndew (#110): If the tapioca was made in Westview, Ohio, the lumps are tumors. Or carcinogenic. Hey, why not both?
@commodorejohn (#157): You know, that sounds like some fun. Sorta like “The Apprentice” without the horror of “The Donald’s” supposed hair.
commodorejohnApril 15th, 2011 at 3:03 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#160): Oh, got it! Run them through the mind-breaking banality, and then just as their torment reaches its apex, drop the bomb on them: it was all completely pointless, all along!
…I think I’m officially a supervillain now.
Baka GaijinApril 15th, 2011 at 3:08 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#161): Yup. Much like watching a storyline in Funky Winkerbean.
@commodorejohn (#125): “Lobster hair.” The secret ingredient of salmon squares.
@greghousesgf (#98): What?
@Scott Bot (#80): JJJ’s hair stands up like that because someone switched his tube of Prell shampoo with glue. And he likes it.
CalicoApril 15th, 2011 at 3:13 pm [Reply]
Hi Dingo – hope you are feeling well today!
This might make you feel a bit better:
http://www.foodnetwork.ca/video/index.html?releasePID=bKQ_j3qUw6Jf39xvcxwrc7HO2z8987FT
Top Chef Canada, episode 1, and one of the contestants is a big, beautiful, hunky BEAR of a chef named Patrick, who moved to Canada and got married to his Canadian man.
As a lot of you know I’m a woman partnered with another woman, but damn if Patrick isn’t a big bearded Adonis. Enjoy the episode!
April 15th, 2011 at 3:15 pm [Reply]
@TheDiva (#34): “Pluggers assume people will be offended by blob of ketchup on their shirt, but not by the disgusting crusty pants they’ve worn for five days straight.” Thanks for putting that image in my head tonight an hour or so before bedtime. We’ve got crusty plugger pants, who’ll ante with Mary Worth’s vagina?
Scott BotApril 15th, 2011 at 3:19 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#164): Crusty Plugger Pants would be a great name for a rock band.
Maggie the CatApril 15th, 2011 at 3:20 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#164):
I’ve got ya… I’ll ante up with Mary Worth’s crusty vagina.
bourbon babe, unbuckledApril 15th, 2011 at 3:21 pm [Reply]
@Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#y273): Dingo, I’m so sorry to hear the news–but I’m hopeful that this is just a bump on the road to recovery!
Baka GaijinApril 15th, 2011 at 3:23 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#165): True but still rather disturbing. Not as terrible as Insane you-know-what Posse. I can’t walk through the music section at Best Buy because of that group.
Fashion PoliceApril 15th, 2011 at 3:25 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#144):
Mr. Plugger’s sweater is equally suitable whether it is stained or not. However, we shan’t claim authority on matters pertaining to etiquette, but we suspect that partially extending one’s pinky while eating is but a misguided and futile attempt to cancel out wearing a baseball cap at table.
We deduce from Mr. Plugger’s orotund physique that we are seeing him in the last days of fall, so we are not inclined to be overly critical of his appearance. Would it be excessively optimistic to expect he will soon emerge from 5 months’ hibernation sleek, svelte and impeccably tailored?
Baka GaijinApril 15th, 2011 at 3:28 pm [Reply]
@Fashion Police (#169): A plugger, svelte and impeccably tailored? Which one of these terms does not belong?
Rocky StoneaxeApril 15th, 2011 at 3:30 pm [Reply]
Les Moore and longtime DC/Marvel artist Jim Mooney… separated at birth?
http://www.comicrelated.com/graphics/people/jim_mooney_self_portrait.jpg
SideshowJonApril 15th, 2011 at 3:30 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#19):
FW: We finally discovered the one thing that can put a smile on the faces of the Winkerbeen cast- Cold blooded murder of a loved one
Effluvius ErratusApril 15th, 2011 at 3:35 pm [Reply]
@Maggie the Cat (#166): In all fairness, Mary’s vag isn’t crusty from disuse, but because Dr. Jeff hits it that hard. Those’re scabs.
Tom the Sailor ManApril 15th, 2011 at 3:39 pm [Reply]
Phantom: “Phantom is rough on those who kneel and present their ass to his size 12 boot” – old jungle saying.
Scott BotApril 15th, 2011 at 3:43 pm [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#173): Now there’s a mental image I really could have done without.
teenchyApril 15th, 2011 at 3:43 pm [Reply]
@Gulielma (#100):And Sales sells products. Marketing makes companies and people want to buy products. Not the same thing.
And yet many small companies – particularly ones that don’t want to increase payroll and headcount – hire people to do both. Simlarly, small life sciences companies hire people to do both quality assurance and regulatory affairs roles. They both deal with regulations, so the same skill sets should be applicable to both. Ugh.
Écureuil ÉcumantApril 15th, 2011 at 3:44 pm [Reply]
RMMD: “He’s a weasel, Doc!”
Um, anyone else wonder if this was some kind of back-handed fanservice? Nolan & Wilson weighing in on us? Just askin’. [*]
Free Dingo!
Fashion PoliceApril 15th, 2011 at 3:45 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#170):
Perhaps we were the tiniest bit optimistic. A long winter’s nap can work wonders, but perhaps not miracles.
April 15th, 2011 at 3:54 pm [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#173): Why oh why did I check back into this thread.
@Fashion Police (#178): Hmmm. “Tiny bit optimistic” is hoping you won’t die of medical malpractice in Westview. Expecting a plugger to lose a substantial amount of weight while simultaneously developing a expert fashion sense is “batshit insane delusional.” No offense intended.
Pseudo3DApril 15th, 2011 at 4:00 pm [Reply]
Crankshaft – The “pushing on the faucet” trick was used. Unfortunately, not only is it not funny, but it’s Crankshaft wearing only a towel. And I’m surprised that “Aaaaviatrix” recovered so quickly.
kkarenbApril 15th, 2011 at 4:14 pm [Reply]
Dingo – I’m sending good thoughts your way.
Kevin (@Y312) – Next time, try “Don’t pay the ransom, Honey! I escaped!”
@commodorejohn (#19):
Re FW – The Pulitzer Prizes will be announced on Monday (April 18). Who will win – Batiuk or McEldowney (for the mesmerizing Edda & the Nazis story)? Who will be disappointed?
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#120):
Re Family Tree – I can’t get past those hideous cheekbones. But it looks like the Mona Lisa compared to Reply All.
Rose is Rose – Why doesn’t she go outside and talk to the birdies and the bunnies and the squirrelies? (Speaking of squirrelly..)
9CL – Brookie’s been reading the dictionary again. Show off. Oh, and asshole.
ElkMeadowApril 15th, 2011 at 4:16 pm [Reply]
@timmy the dying boy (#76):
.thgir mih evreS
AviatrixApril 15th, 2011 at 4:17 pm [Reply]
@Calico (#163): I’m watching the show right now on the DVR. He says he fell in love and married a Canadian; I didn’t realize that that Canadian was his husband rather than his wife. And what I love about Canada is that ‘the government has no business in the bedrooms of the nation.’ Marry whomever you love.
ArchieNemesisApril 15th, 2011 at 4:21 pm [Reply]
Mark and Marco both get lucky today:
Trail Love Is…
April 15th, 2011 at 4:24 pm [Reply]
And Cherry and Kim both need a few minutes on the Stairmaster.
CalicoApril 15th, 2011 at 4:26 pm [Reply]
@Aviatrix (#183):
Yes, so true. I love this Country.
April 15th, 2011 at 4:30 pm [Reply]
FW: Maybe Jess can donate some of her chin to the girls of 9 Chickweed. It’d make for a touching documentary.
CyranettaApril 15th, 2011 at 4:45 pm [Reply]
MW: I must admit I’m puzzled as to the frequent insertion of random unrelated limbs into MW panels — that hand and arm in the final panel CANNOT belong to the Numb Nurse — both the size and angle are totally wrong.
Écureuil ÉcumantApril 15th, 2011 at 4:49 pm [Reply]
MT: I like Austria’s (#14) Censorship Squirrel concept. But the implementation’s a little peculiar. I can see Elrod deciding that raw furry squirrel crotch is less disturbing than clothed Mark/Cherry crotch. But it strikes me there won’t be unanimity on this.
word-doctorApril 15th, 2011 at 4:50 pm [Reply]
@Old School Allie Cat (#45):
I’m glad I’m not the only one this has happened to. Blondie’s artists are notorious for drawing every female not named Blondie, Cookie, or Tootsie (maybe every woman without an “ie” name) as either a post oak stump with hair like Margaret Dumont’s mother, or as a chinless, bumpy ironing board. In the last month, I’ve seen examples of both, and was tempted to start a site to replace mulletsgalore.com… but didn’t.
S-M: This isn’t my snark. On the radio they were just playing “Name of a Porn-Star Character or Name of a Soap Opera Character.” Having guessed correctly guessed that “Clover Wilde” was of the former class, he asked what she’d starred in, and was told “Muffy the Vampire Layer.” It’s been years since mom and dad told me about “Yank My Doodle: It’s a Dandy,” but I finally have a counter.
That’s the only vampire-related contribution I had. Sorry.
Pseudo3DApril 15th, 2011 at 4:54 pm [Reply]
@Écureuil Écumant (#189): Yeah, have you ever seen the underside of a male squirrel? It’s not pretty.
littlestevieApril 15th, 2011 at 4:56 pm [Reply]
RMMD: So June how do you know that Tony would do anything for money, did he just clean your garage?
Esther BlodgettApril 15th, 2011 at 5:03 pm [Reply]
@Pseudo3D (#191): That’s just not a question I expected to be asked today.
Mardou FoxApril 15th, 2011 at 5:04 pm [Reply]
Re: Those who are wondering about tapioca: It is a starch extracted from the root of the casava plant, and is a dietary mainstay in some regions.
I got to wondering about tapioca myself, a few weeks back.
Winter is long here.
Miss OthmarApril 15th, 2011 at 5:07 pm [Reply]
Hey Dingo — I was with my teenaged son and his friends at a restaurant last night, and they were making crude jokes with the chicken parts — I thought of you (even though the leg wasn’t from a turkey). Get well soon!!
True FableApril 15th, 2011 at 5:07 pm [Reply]
Dingo: I am sending this to comfort you. Take care and get well soon!
This GuyApril 15th, 2011 at 5:16 pm [Reply]
9CL: Without the visual, I’d have assumed “darbies” was another one of B-Mac’s made-up terms for “breasts.”
MW: If by “to no end” you mean “to no purpose,” I agree.
@H-Bob (#108): It depends on the story, as is usual for vampires; in some, they can’t be filmed/photographed. I daresay Twilight isn’t one of those, since in Meyer’s diseased imagination, being a vampire is all upside.
Walker of DogApril 15th, 2011 at 5:31 pm [Reply]
@Écureuil Écumant (#177): I wondered that myself. (Keep stirring.)
@Pseudo3D (#191): Hammy, put down your nuts and weigh in here!
ElkMeadowApril 15th, 2011 at 5:46 pm [Reply]
@Cyranetta (#188):
It is, as Dr. Drew would say, a mystery. But I don’t think it needs to be solved.
ElkMeadowApril 15th, 2011 at 5:47 pm [Reply]
*waves at Dingo*
Walker of DogApril 15th, 2011 at 5:51 pm [Reply]
DT: Last spring, Junior visited New Zealand on vacation and went all poser-native. When asked to comment, the Maori ta moko artist who charged Junior $1,800 for that lousy ‘traditional’ face tat said, “Eh. It’s a living.”
FW: Summer thinks, “Her dad’s dead? Wow, she’s so lucky. And she’s got all those AV skills too. Jess is so cool – I wonder what kind of cancer she has?”
GT: Micah Huang, Panel 2: The Gil Thorp Hand-Thing of the Week!
MT: Hurray! The Suicide Squirrel is back… from the dead.
Plug: Is Terry Craig of Dallas just another self-loathing Plugger, or the passive-aggressive neighbor of Reed Hoover? “Yeah, see that fat slob? That’s you, Reed. Maybe next time you’ll think twice before running your leaf blower at sunrise. Jerk.” Or so he imagines himself saying.
FW2: Jess, who does your hair? It looks like a sickly boxwood trimmed by a madman.
Jumb: The rule-fetishizing accountants excelled at tennis because of their |C|O|M|P|U|L|S|I|O|N| |T|O| |S|T|A|Y| |W|I|T|H|I|N| |T|H|E| |L|I|N|E|S|.
9CL: “Darbies”? Never have I been less interested in expanding my vocabulary.
ElkMeadowApril 15th, 2011 at 6:00 pm [Reply]
@H-Bob (#108):
I’m hoping that Abraham Lincoln’s vampires will turn up on a Ken Burns’ PBS special, though my money is on Steve Pastis’ PBS comic strip doing something instead.
(The movie will be in theaters June 2012. I’ll buy your ticket, Dingo!)
Here’s a whole blog about vampires–http://vampyrefan.blogspot.com
ElkMeadowApril 15th, 2011 at 6:10 pm [Reply]
@Mardou Fox (#194):
It was snowing here yesterday. I don’t like tapioca. I’ll eat it only if my mom is next to me, or when I wish she was.
Uncle LumpyApril 15th, 2011 at 6:17 pm [Reply]
@Aviatrix (#183):
‘the government has no business in the bedrooms of the nation.’
People fear what they don’t understand, and thus they are blind to the passions that may unite a man and his government. Today we must meet in secret to pursue furtive Congress, but someday — I swear it — we will unite in bicameral splendor before one and all to form a more perfect union.
ElkMeadowApril 15th, 2011 at 6:18 pm [Reply]
And here’s more about the book, Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter
seismic-2April 15th, 2011 at 6:22 pm [Reply]
Spidey: I believe the reason that vampires don’t cast a reflection in mirrors is that the backing of a mirror is made of silver. For that same reason, a vampire couldn’t be photographed on film, which is made of a silver colloid. If that’s true, then, it should be possible to photograph a vampire using a digital camera instead.
Oh God, I just tried to introduce logic into Spiderman. That’s like trying to introduce esthetics into Snuffy Smith, happiness into Funky Winkerbean, or anything even remotely interesting into Mary Worth.
seismic-2April 15th, 2011 at 6:23 pm [Reply]
Dingo: Attack that tumor with the same forcefulness as you do the funnies. Make it wither up and die from shame.
Joe BlevinsApril 15th, 2011 at 6:29 pm [Reply]
Zomby watches (you guessed it) TV. Bonus Chuck Woolery content, too!
zerowolfApril 15th, 2011 at 6:33 pm [Reply]
Crankshaft: Hey how about that, only two panels of a nearly naked Ed Crankshaft and already I lost my lunch.
zerowolfApril 15th, 2011 at 6:36 pm [Reply]
FW: Westview is like Stalag 13, no one ever escapes…..
CanuckDownSouthApril 15th, 2011 at 6:37 pm [Reply]
@seismic-2 (#206): Don’t feel too badly, I made the same argument to support digital and even colour pics of nosferatu over a week ago … we’re *such* a geeky bunch :)
zerowolfApril 15th, 2011 at 6:40 pm [Reply]
GT: The correct caption in panel 1 is, “Wonder Twin powers activate!”
zerowolfApril 15th, 2011 at 6:42 pm [Reply]
RMMD: A man who willl do anything for money is Rex’s dream come true.
zerowolfApril 15th, 2011 at 6:44 pm [Reply]
Zits: If the ripping off her shirt claiming “hot flashes” didn’t clue you in, Jeremy, Mom following you into the shower should.
curlyfriesApril 15th, 2011 at 6:44 pm [Reply]
@vanya (#150): @This Guy (#197): @Walker of Dog (#201): Amen to everything you wrote.
So, are we now to have a nice little airing of London thieves’ cant just to show, once again, how rarified and insufferable Brookie’s knowledge is? Will we be referring to “gaol” next, just to show the plebeian beefwits out there what sort of fardel their footling education is?
Christ, what an asshole³. [*]
AviatrixApril 15th, 2011 at 6:58 pm [Reply]
@CanuckDownSouth (#211): And I loved it, both times.
AviatrixApril 15th, 2011 at 7:10 pm [Reply]
@seismic-2 (#206): I was thinking, though, that it might be useful to hire vampires as crew on a movie, for cheap special effects that could be achieved by invisible people moving things around.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoApril 15th, 2011 at 7:26 pm [Reply]
metapost-thread, ACTIVATE!
bats :[April 15th, 2011 at 7:48 pm [Reply]
@Mardou Fox (#194): it’s fish eyeballs, I tells ya…fish eyeballs!!!
MapDarkApril 15th, 2011 at 11:27 pm [Reply]
9CL : DARBIES?! They’re british now?
Danny BellApril 16th, 2011 at 12:20 am [Reply]
I’m pretty sure that Plugger looks shocked because his hand, which has just brutally stabbed him in the gut, is no longer his own.
Thanos6April 16th, 2011 at 6:48 am [Reply]
OK, as a self-confessed, lifelong Spider-Man nerd, I’m going to put this Morbius thing to rest.
He’s a “living vampire” because he never died and returned. He’s not your typical supernatural vampire, he was created through science (or, perhaps more accurately, SCIENCE!). As such, many of the traditional weaknesses to supernatural vampires do not apply to him; he can be seen in mirrors and photographed, religious symbols do not affect him at all, and although sunlight bothers and somewhat weakens him, it’s not fatal (like novel Dracula, funnily enough).
Does all that make sense?
Doug PuthoffApril 16th, 2011 at 10:29 am [Reply]
Alt FC caption for 4-16: It was written by Glenn Beck; it’s not for anyone.
giraffe-oApril 16th, 2011 at 7:48 pm [Reply]
SP-man : Perhaps part of the criteria for Morbius being a ‘living vampire’ is that he CAN show up on film. Whichever the task – to photograph Moribius or defeat him in battle – is probably too Herculean a task for newspaper Spider-Man.
TedApril 17th, 2011 at 2:02 pm [Reply]
Re: Vampiric Animals
Marvels most infamous contribution to this sub-genre is “Bessie the Hellcow” complete with cape. Seriously, google it.
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