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Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Mark doesn’t understand ‘personal’ — he barely understands ‘person’

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"She nursed me, a complete stranger, back to health with no thought to the horrors that might come to her and her child from the same evil thugs who murdered her husband. And all you can think to ask is if she was PRETTY??? Actually, she looked exactly like you if you wore a halter top and a wig. So, no, I wouldn't describe her as 'pretty.' I hope she gets back with her relatives or something. Girls are icky." --Mustang

Main navigation: Advertise Discussion Forum About Twitter RSS Feed Search: Main content: « So many sadnesses Mark doesn’t understand ‘personal’ — he barely understands ‘person’

Slylock Fox, 4/18/11

When your cartoon is populated by anthropomorphic animals, you eventually run into awkwardness when you need to introduce some non- or semi-anthropomorphic animals, a conundrum known to philosophers as the “Goofy-Pluto Paradox.” Here, for instance, we have a a gaggle of clothed, house-dwelling animals confronting a pair of naked (albeit still bipedal, or at least upright) animals who are accused of doing animal-type things like eating tomatoes on the vine. Are the snake and raccoon meant to be understood as mere beasts? Or do they belong to some caste that is oppressed and excluded from Slylock-world society due to prejudice, despite their ability to reason? Either way, once Slylock fingers the guilty party, it looks like he’ll be subject to brutal mob justice rather than taken under the gentle wing of owl law.

B.C., 4/18/11

Speaking of sentient animals, here’s a sentient bird who chose a bad hiding place and now is going to be devoured alive! That … that’s the joke, I guess?

Mark Trail, 4/18/11

You might find the premise of this strip incredibly unrealistic, but think about it: if someone were so unable to understand human nature that they would consider Mark a good guy to approach with a “personal problem,” then he’d probably also have trouble relating even to the people closest to him.

Pluggers, 4/18/11

Yes, these hideous mutant abominations will continue to mate with one another and produce ever more freakish offspring — no matter what our elected officials in Washington say or do. I think our only hope is to call in the military.

This entry was posted on Monday, April 18, 2011 at 08:11 am and is filed under B.C., Mark Trail, Pluggers, Slylock Fox. | 317 responses to “Mark doesn’t understand ‘personal’ — he barely understands ‘person’” Rocky Stoneaxe
April 18th, 2011 at 8:20 am [Reply]

@Shave Ezra (#y34):

Wow – the authors of Funky and Marvin did a strip together! Was it all about diaper cancer?

Showing the cancerous backside of an infant in John Darling would have been risky — since it might have brought down the wrath of To Catch a Predator’s Chris Hansen on them. So the ass they used actually belonged to Tom Batiuk (NSFW):

http://healthsymptomspictures.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/diaperrash.jpg

One-Eyed Wolfdog
April 18th, 2011 at 8:20 am [Reply]

Mary’s “A penny for your thoughts, Jeff!”, even in print, sounds more like “Jeff, I will pry your secrets out of you even if it means cracking your head open like a stubborn pistachio nut.”

One-Eyed Wolfdog
April 18th, 2011 at 8:26 am [Reply]

“Damnit, Max, when I said let’s go out looking for some hot tomatoes tonight, this is not what I had in mind.”

Captain Plaid Pants
April 18th, 2011 at 8:29 am [Reply]

Mary: A penny for your thoughts, Jeff!
Jeff: Really, Mary? You’re going to shout your questions at me when I’m sitting two and a half feet away from you on the same couch? Fine. Two can play at that game: A nurse at he hospital! She seems pleasant enough!… But I can’t help but think of his romantic past!

Dragon of Life
April 18th, 2011 at 8:30 am [Reply]

I note that the second-panel giant wildlife has become aware of the fourth wall. And is giving me the exact look I would give the reader were I in that waterfowl’s place. “Yeaaah, he’s back. Here we go again. Woo.”

Natalie
April 18th, 2011 at 8:31 am [Reply]

“It’s my son John! He has one shoe off, and one shoe on! And he keeps eating diddle diddle dumplings!”

Rocky Stoneaxe
April 18th, 2011 at 8:33 am [Reply]

Pluggers… are really part robot and part animal, so any potential offspring would be called cybeasts!

http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/8/2009/02/medium_robot_monster_080320070842.jpg

One-eyed Wolfdog
April 18th, 2011 at 8:33 am [Reply]

Quite contrary to the broad caricature of rural ignorance generally presumed in Hootin’ Holler, Elviny wears a scale model trilith in her hair to signify her interest in the complex symbology of prehistoric earthworks and monuments.

Chyron HR
April 18th, 2011 at 8:38 am [Reply]

SF – Omnivore, schmomnivore. All I need to know is there’s a reptile slithering through a mammal neighborhood at night–he must be the cuprit.

One-eyed Wolfdog
April 18th, 2011 at 8:41 am [Reply]

Tuesday Marvin: Bea Arnold holds a struggling Marvin down in a bathtub full of Clorox while chanting “Unclean! Unclean!”.

nescio
April 18th, 2011 at 8:42 am [Reply]

SF: I’m hoping the raccoon will put up a fight before being taken away, because it might distract everyone else while the snake eats Max Mouse.

Little Guy
April 18th, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]

JP: “And… we’re back!” – The Interpreters

MT: So, in the Lost Forest, men also have that “not-so-fresh-feeling”?

S4th: You missed the “For those of came in late” shoutout, Ces.

Curtis: Okay, who serves slices of pizza that early in the morning?

Meta-Curtis: I’ll wait for the next iteration, but I’m noticing a trend.

* The long-running bullies issue is solved and the arc is wrapped up, but Diane is pissed (because the principal used Curtis as bait).

* The long-running money issue is solved and the arc is wrapped up, but Diane is pissed (because she thinks her father-in-law is laughing at her from beyond).

I’m interested if the trope continues…

* The long-running ______ issue is solved and the arc is wrapped up, but Diane is pissed (because _______).

Phred22
April 18th, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]

MT: “It’s my son, John. He thinks Helen Hayes is his mother and that he’s the title character in an anti-Communist movie made back in the 1950’s. Since you seem to be living in the fifties, I thought I could bring him here and you could straighten him out.”

Cholling
April 18th, 2011 at 8:45 am [Reply]

“Doctor Thrasher” sounds like a great title for an ’80s cult classic about a physician who enjoys a secret double life as a slam dancer. Sort of “Doctor Detroit” meets “Repo Man”.

Calvin's Cardboard Box
April 18th, 2011 at 8:47 am [Reply]

FW – Oh, great. It’s Monday morning, I have a busy week ahead, and after reading today’s Funky my eyes have already rolled back so far into my head that I need to lie on my stomach just to read the monitor.

My only surcease is the idea of a cross-over FW and MW. Les and Dr. Drew could double-date, and while they chew on bland, cancerous lumps of food-like substance, their dates can stalk them, plan weddings, children, divorces, and of course funeral services – ALL IN THEIR MINDS.

One-eyed Wolfdog
April 18th, 2011 at 8:51 am [Reply]

“Now tighten your shorts, Beetle, and sing like the Duke.”

Col. Havoc
April 18th, 2011 at 9:05 am [Reply]

JP: Either that limo is, like, fifty feet long or Sam and Angel have placed a couple of ventriloquist dummies in the back seat–for what purpose, I can’t imagine.

S. Stout
April 18th, 2011 at 9:06 am [Reply]

Skylock: Even though there are no witnesses and no real evidence, Skylock is declaring someone guilty tonight. Then back to the Fox Cave for torture before the trial, because as we all know, everyone is declared innocent and released immediately under owl law.

Ned Ryerson
April 18th, 2011 at 9:06 am [Reply]

JP: So Constance Darling is going to renege on the deal she made with Angel on the baseball card? Does it matter? This publishing house plotline is as DOA as Jackie Thornton, especially since we were denied even an appearance by Ms Thornton, marketing ho.

Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
April 18th, 2011 at 9:08 am [Reply]

Re-FOOB: hate hate hate hate hate hate..

Funk the Stupid Bean: (See Above)..

MT: Mark and Cherry: Wham, Bam, Thank You Ma’am, Off to pursue yet another adventure!

Marvin: *groaaan*.

RMMD: …….and the plot sickens, er, thickens…

MrGuy
April 18th, 2011 at 9:11 am [Reply]

Mother Goose & Grimm evidently had a crossover with Newspaper Spider-Man today. I can only hope that Spider-Man reciprocates, with some sort of dog-themed villain that will no doubt defeat Peter with the power of bricks.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
April 18th, 2011 at 9:16 am [Reply]

@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#15): “my eyes have already rolled back so far into my head that I need to lie on my stomach just to read the monitor.”

*dies laughing*

well played, Box.

McManx
April 18th, 2011 at 9:17 am [Reply]

Slylock — A snake, a piece of fruit, an accuser with a blinding light, an all-knowing entity, and a hapless creature with the stunned look of sudden guilt and shame of nakedness… OMG, Weber’s is mocking the Expulsion from Paradise. But who will be Eve? Cassandra Cat?

Phantom — Boomsby Prison: Is this the most lax high security prison in the world? GWW kicks Python’s ass all night long and no one notices it til they find his cell empty the next morning?

Gasoline Alley — If the next 75 years of this strip will be devoted to Slim and Clovia’s misadventures, I would propose to rename it. I propose “Gastrointestinal Alley,” because nothing is coming out of this comic but shit.

word-doctor
April 18th, 2011 at 9:19 am [Reply]

FC-Jeffy once more shows the effects of Thel consuming Tahitian Treat while carrying him to term.

Stripes55
April 18th, 2011 at 9:21 am [Reply]

@One-eyed Wolfdog (#10): We can only hope. Except that I originally misread this as “Bea ARTHUR hold a struggling Marvin…” Somehow, that just made it even better…

gleeb
April 18th, 2011 at 9:27 am [Reply]

Ex-Judge Parker in New York: They’ve finally left the hotel room! This is not a drill!

Tom Allen
April 18th, 2011 at 9:31 am [Reply]

“Slylock Fox” makes much more sense when you realize the strip takes place on The Island of Dr Moreau, a century later.

“Not to go on all-fours; that is the Law. Are we not Men? “Not to suck up Drink; that is the Law. Are we not Men? “Not to eat Fish or Flesh; that is the Law. Are we not Men?” And apparently, something about tomatoes.

Not Just Any Dipstick
April 18th, 2011 at 9:31 am [Reply]

MW: Another in the series of astonishing teleportations. One second next to Mary on the same couch, the next sitting at right angles on ????

Elmo
April 18th, 2011 at 9:34 am [Reply]

MT: “Don’t worry Doctor Thrasher, it happens to everyone sometimes.”

Not Just Any Dipstick
April 18th, 2011 at 9:35 am [Reply]

MW: And there is just something seriously wrong with the length of Mary’s thighs.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
April 18th, 2011 at 9:36 am [Reply]

hey, there. (BMD puppeh gives teh sexxay look.)

Fashion Police’s canine sidekick.

for the yaoi fangirls.

Good advice for graph-makers.

as seen in the Sunday MT.

FLOOF!

corgi Senior yearbook pic.

wossname
April 18th, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]

Jumble – Easy one – but I love the Romero Realtors sign.

Blondie – I had high hopes when panel 1 showed Blondie looking at a presumably naked Dagwood and saying “Omigoodness!” My hopes were crushed by panels 2 and 3. But I have new high hopes of seeing panel 1 in a mashup.

MW – Since apparently it’s going to be a plot device, could somebody with a good memory fill us in on Drew’s “romantic past”? I vaguely remember some kind of dalliance with Dawn.

Rob
April 18th, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]

Can someone please help me with what the wizard of id “joke” is cuz I’m stumped.

One-eyed Wolfdog
April 18th, 2011 at 9:39 am [Reply]

The joke is, “Haha, we got you to read Wizard of Id.”

Rocky Stoneaxe
April 18th, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]

Slylock Fox — Even if the snake gets off scot-free, Chester Crocodile is still waiting in the wings:

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_X1IWXuEbgXI/S59cViVr1II/AAAAAAAACTw/3nHUVOyht8k/s640/crocdile%25252520eating%25252520a%25252520shark.jpg

Dennis Jimenez
April 18th, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]

SF – According to the Protocols of the Elders of Raccoons, it’s the raccoon, cuz they have an international conspiracy to eat tomatos….

B.C. – Bad hiding spot? I’d say the “sniff” is an indication of bad personal hygene….

MT – Humm – Let me see if I understand – this “Dr. Thresher” is asking Mark to help him straighten out his John-son….

Pluggers – Stan Binder – so this is all about some new brand of diahria medicine, right….

Adios Amigos, DJ.

One-eyed Wolfdog
April 18th, 2011 at 9:44 am [Reply]

(Actually, I think it’s about Robin Hood trying to get a tax deduction and it’s funny because, if you look closely at the scroll he’s holding, it has Friar Tuck listed under “early withdrawals”.)

Uncle Ritzy Fritz
April 18th, 2011 at 9:46 am [Reply]

SF: Of course the lesser known field of study is the “Arthur-Pal Conundrum” wherein Arthur the Aardvark has a pal (Binky) who is a semi-anthropomorphic dog and also has as a pet a regular dog, confusingly enough named Pal. I think my eventual realization of this incongruity prompted my first WTF utterance.

Écureuil Écumant
April 18th, 2011 at 9:48 am [Reply]

Slylock: The posse comitatus has totally missed the actual crime. Those tomatoes were planted. No, seriously, planted on those pot plants to disguise them. Hey, it worked in the ’60s. For about a week.

Or maybe the posse’s just planning to come back later to steal the crop.

Écureuil Écumant
April 18th, 2011 at 9:57 am [Reply]

@Natalie (#6) on MT’s My Son John:

Well, at least he doesn’t go to bed with his breeches on.
That would be Spider-Man.

ArchieNemesis
April 18th, 2011 at 10:00 am [Reply]

This weeks Comics Cage Match: John Thrasher vs. John Darling.

Which John will win our sympathies, the spoiled rich kid, or the murdered journalist?

Surprisingly to no one, it will be John Thrasher, because he has to endure Mark Trail’s
dubious advice (“Ricochet a bullet off his skull, Doc! Didn’t hurt me none, and it
got me laid, twice!”), whereas John Darling gets to slumber in Death’s sweet embrace,
far from Les Moore and his creepy ilk (unless, of course, they dig up his corpse
and prop it up at Les’s kitchen table).

TheDiva
April 18th, 2011 at 10:02 am [Reply]

MT: Doctor Thrasher would be a great name for a hair metal band.

Pluggers form deeply committed relationships based on mutual hatred and distrust of those guv’mint types.

9CL: Die in a fire, Seth.

C’shaft: Which character will discover they have a potentially fatal allergic reaction to bee stings? Stay tuned!

FW: Don’t worry, Cayla, there’s still room for you. And Suicidal Susan. You’ll all be one big, unhappy family whose lives revolve entirely around Les the Specialest Snowflake of the Universe, as it should be.

Luann: Wise question.

MW: Mary’s done a nice job decorating the dark eternal void where she has Jeff imprisoned. She’s even gone to the trouble of manufacturing a pink-curtained window and a couple pictures to hang in the empty space.

Écureuil Écumant
April 18th, 2011 at 10:06 am [Reply]

MT: Mark’s hopeless. He even takes the time to pronounce the whole word “doctor”. It’s not a new phenomenon, of course. The lasses of LoFo always used to fall asleep while Mark was playing doctor.

Also: Less Mark, more Andy; less Seth, more Solange.

One-eyed Wolfdog
April 18th, 2011 at 10:11 am [Reply]

Less Mark, more Andy

Is it, “What’s been in Cherry’s daydreams lately?”, Alex?

exapno
April 18th, 2011 at 10:14 am [Reply]

Luann And so, the almost anticipated pageant begins, with (who else?) Knute as one of the MC’s, along with the principal – so the much needed disclaimer can be officially delivered, and so Knute can insult him without being punished (krusty wit?? oy). Should we have a CC SBP pool? Here is the Monday Morning line as I see it:

Tiffany 25-1 The whole thing has been a set up for her NOT to win

Bernice 25-1 Sorry, being the title character’s BFF does not qualify you to win this

Obscure Ethnic Character Who Has the Same Last Name as a MAD Magazine Artist 15-1 Although she COULD be, excuse the expression, a dark horse.

Luann 5-1 Hideous gown and all. It IS her strip…although for weeks at a time it isn’t. Just another heartbreak for our ‘ordinary’ teen

Krystal 3-2 If only to set up more Girls Bathroom acrimony with her and Tiff

Proposition bet odds:

Gunther suddenly showing up in the contest…in a better gown than the one he made for Luann – 100-1

Tiffany caught trying to bribe judges – 20-1

Dirk showing up after all this time…smashing his garbage truck into Weenie World, now a member of the Religious Right, and stopping the whole thing- 10-1

The rest of us being bored to tears, as this will drag in for two weeks worth of strips – 1-2

Everybody enjoy the show!

And don’t forget, there’s no place better to find a weenie, than at Weenie World!

Illustrator Steve
April 18th, 2011 at 10:14 am [Reply]

MT:
(Panel 1): That floating Jackelrod ball reminds me of the big white bubble in that old TV show, “The Prisoner”, where people were kept prisoner by a big white bubble that kept unexpectedly popping up all the time. It now becomes clear just WHAT Lost Forest actually is. It’s a prison in a future time where giant talking animals roam the woods and humans have been reduced to brainless blue-haired mannequins.

(Panel 2): Giant ducks and cabin roofs carrying on conversations with chimneys. *sigh*….WELCOME BACK TO THE LOST FOREST FREAK SHOW EVERYONE!

(Panel 3): “Hello Mark, IT is good to see you again. I’ve asked you here to talk about my son. By the way, I understand you suffered a bullet wound to your head. But since you said someone put a bandade on it and the wound seems to have been airbrushed away I guess as a professional doctor I don’t need to concern myself about examining it.
(Mark): “Hello Doc. It is GOOD to see you! Hey, WHERE can I get a pair of pants in the same shade of electric-puke-blue just like that pair you are wearing?”

bourbon babe, unbuckled
April 18th, 2011 at 10:16 am [Reply]

MW: I like today’s strip much better if I imagine that Mary and Jeff have been sitting silently for the last 35 minutes, trying not to amplify the crushing silence by sipping their Sanka too loudly, as Jeff stares haggardly into the gaping maw of his empty existence, thinking, “For the love of god, will that Xanax ever kick in? How many pills does a guy have to take to get some relief around here?”—until Mary finally breaks the oppressive nothing-to-say pall with her cliche request; Jeff ponders for a moment—”Okay, I gotta give the ol’ hag something to chew on here. . . . Think, Corey, think. . . . I know! Drew went on a date—that’ll do it!”—and just as one throws a dog a ragged, fleshy bone to distract it, he sacrifices his son to the voracious Meddle.

JP: Careful, Constance: Those might have been Jackie’s last words before she became intimately acquainted with that moving tour bus.

A3G: No, no, Dan Diller—”drive” is when you want to get things done; “passion” is when you actually reveal some level of affect about those things. Thus, I think it’s safe to say that Tommie is all drive and no passion.

MT: Meddling in a parent-child relationship? Mark is coming dangerously close to Mary Worth territory here—and if Mary thinks her territory is being threatened, I wouldn’t put it past her to cut a bitch. (And would “the ravages of age” be a reasonable substitute for “facial hair” in Mark’s Code of Punching?)

zenvelo
April 18th, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]

Elrod mixed up the dialogue again. Dr. Thrasher said, “It’s my Johnson.”

Écureuil Écumant
April 18th, 2011 at 10:19 am [Reply]

9CL: Brooke evidently believes that the Thesaurus is the biggest dickosaur ever. He somewhat flatters himself.

word-doctor
April 18th, 2011 at 10:19 am [Reply]

@wossname (#32):
Blondie – I had high hopes when panel 1 showed Blondie looking at a presumably naked Dagwood and saying “Omigoodness!” My hopes were crushed by panels 2 and 3. But I have new high hopes of seeing panel 1 in a mashup.

Perhaps a mashup with famous pics of Jane in the bath (from “The Misadventures of Jane”)?

zenvelo
April 18th, 2011 at 10:20 am [Reply]

MW: Talk about jumping to conclusions. Drew has one cup of coffee with an aggressive blood sucking harridan, and Dr Jeff says “He’s dating again.”

exapno
April 18th, 2011 at 10:20 am [Reply]

@exapno (#45):

Re: Fogarty – I meant teacher…..duh…

Artist formerly known as Ben
April 18th, 2011 at 10:23 am [Reply]

MT: “Can you talk to me about a personal problem? Sure. Will I understand it? Probably not. Will I be distracted by the seaplane-sized ducks overhead? You bet I will!”

Crock: I know complaining about the art in this strip is like saying the guy making you dig your own grave is kind of surly, but is Scrawlie even familiar with the concept of scale? The hotboxes don’t even come up to Preppie’s knee. When did they start letting gophers in the French Foreign Legion?

C-Shaft: Alice Otterloop wants her old lady radar hat back.

DT: There’s something delightful about the fact that Joe Staton bothers to draw plastic packing peanuts around the superweapon.

9CL: Talking like a thesaurus is a sign of being in 9 Chickweed Lane or Pibgorn. Blocking out Edda’s prattle is a sign of sanity. Start over.

6C: Nice sight gag.

MW: In the first panel, our happy couple is sitting stiffly on opposite ends of the couch. In the second, Jeff is halfway to being in a different room. Obviously, Mary just cut a rank one.

Luann: Not sanctioned by the school, but the school’s entire faculty is there. Eh, whatever.

OBH: I thought Detorie was setting us up for the old antisemitic football joke.

M-Dawg: Don’t invoke the Marmaduke movie. You’re better than that. Yes, even you.

PBS: Guys, this is Rat you’re talking about. The “feeling superior” ship sailed long ago.

Archie: That pizza is so unappetizing, I suspect it’s sold by the Charterstone Bakery.

H&L: Let us be thankful that the art doesn’t follow up on the Appalachian horror implied by the phrase “too close for comfort.”

Shoe: … and then a bolt of lightning struck Roz dead.

bourbon babe, unbuckled
April 18th, 2011 at 10:25 am [Reply]

@Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#y45): That’s fascinating! A few years ago, I went to a composition-conference session that examined just such an online discussion and analyzed the conventions at work, both the writing conventions and social conventions. These kinds of discussions are great examples of “discourse communities”—just as this site is, too.

Josh, re: BC—Actually, after seeing your Facebook link, all I can think is, honey badger don’t give a shit.

bourbon babe, unbuckled
April 18th, 2011 at 10:26 am [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#54): Audio on that link is NSFW.

Digger
April 18th, 2011 at 10:26 am [Reply]

Kind of ironic that with all the sentient animals in today’s entry, probably none of them are as smart as Andy. Doctor Thrasher would be better off asking Andy for advice about his son instead of Mark.

It looks like the Plugger couple is headed straight to the bedroom. And you know what happens next – that’s right, they’ll both take their prescription sleeping pills and go right to sleep.

zenvelo
April 18th, 2011 at 10:30 am [Reply]

The intersection of Comics and TV: The reason Holly left The Office was to have a FTM sex change, grow a mustache, and join the cast of Rex Morgan M.D. Micahel Scott changes his name to Tony. They are both still dorks.

Artist formerly known as Ben
April 18th, 2011 at 10:32 am [Reply]

@exapno (#45): You forgot Delta. Of course her presence affects the running about as much as the presence of a seagull determines the outcome of a Red Sox game, so I can’t really blame you.

But What Do I Know?
April 18th, 2011 at 10:33 am [Reply]

MT — Maybe it’s just me, but I pictured Dr. Thrasher as a dominatrix-type, not a middle-aged doctor who doesn’t realize he *can* discuss personal matters over the phone. . .

DtM — This is the most menacing Dennis has been this year!!!

A3G — Maybe Jesus the Record Producer knows better, but I thought drive and passion were pretty much the same thing in this context. . .

Walker of Dog
April 18th, 2011 at 10:36 am [Reply]

@DaveyK (#Y43):
(re:FW)…everyone appearing or mentioned in today’s comic will die of cancer sooner or later.

It’s sooner. Always sooner.

Island Air-Hops piloted by Otto
April 18th, 2011 at 10:41 am [Reply]

MT: “Hello Doctor Thrasher, while you are in my house I will refer to you only as as “Ben” WHAT’s going on, “Ben”?”.
“Hello Mark, I have come here to talk to you about my son.”
(Mark interupts)
“Yes “Ben”, it is not unusual for young men to experience feelings such as WHAT I am sure you are leading up to. I can help by refering him to a great fishing camp I like to go to. Fishing, hee hee, fishing, get it? hee hee.”
“MARK! I have not yet told you WHAT it is that is concerning me about my son, but I can assure you, it has nothing to do with him needing to learn how to fish. The kid smells bad enough as it is!”.
“Say Doc, er, I mean “Ben”, how ’bout having some fresh pancakes while I tell you all about that great fishing camp I want to take your son to?”

pugfuggly
April 18th, 2011 at 10:41 am [Reply]

Shylock Fox: If we really follow this Goofy-Pluto paradox to its inevitable conclusion, there are a few other things wrong with this cartoon. Namely, why is the raccoon (or the fox, for that matter) eating tomatoes rather than the snake, the mouse or the duck? Where does the pig come up with the patience to actually grow vegetables rather than just digging out the plants and eating the roots? And where is the sexually abused cow that’s being used to fill that milk can?

MT: Mark is there in seconds, having taken the 11:25 duck

On another note, shouldn’t there be a comma between ’son’ and ‘John’? I checked my edition of The Oxford Guide to Newsprint Comics Strip Style, but they say that an exception in this case can only be made if the speaker is talking in BOLD CAPITALS (the ‘Lost Forest Comma Exemption’)…

A3G: “Yes, I can tell you’ve never been in a recording studio before: those go on your ears , Tommie…

MW: “…and by romantic past, I’m referring to the stains left on my Men’s Workout magazine this morning. Poor girl, she’ll only get hurt…”

Rhekarid
April 18th, 2011 at 10:42 am [Reply]

Does anyone else get the feeling that Mark Trail is just about the giant animals, who are playing with stiff plastic action figures and thumping together while making them speak in their clumsy approximations of human speech? Or is that just me?

Jessie
April 18th, 2011 at 10:45 am [Reply]

I think it’s far more likely that Henry Hog interrupted a forbidden reptile/mammal tryst and the tomatoes were only a blind to try to cover their sin. Unfortunately, they’re still naked.

Pseudo3D
April 18th, 2011 at 10:46 am [Reply]

9CL – Based on Edda’s comment, I’m going to guess Seth ALWAYS seems to be happy, since he ALWAYS uses large words, even when the situation doesn’t call for it.

FW – There’s something horribly wrong with Cayla’s mouth. Puppet? Fish? Old person? You decide.

Mustang
April 18th, 2011 at 10:47 am [Reply]

@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#15): FW actually made me laugh today. Kayla’s look is so pathetic. She thinks Les is going to ask her to move in based on one make-out session last summer. Or have they been enjoying a happy, loving relationship all along that Batiuk hasn’t shown us because it wasn’t depressing?

Gloom Raider
April 18th, 2011 at 10:47 am [Reply]

MT: “It’s my son, John. He has legally changed his name to Otto and keeps sending me envelopes with white powder in them and a return address of ‘Island’. Do you think he’s trying to give me anthrax?”

MapDark
April 18th, 2011 at 10:55 am [Reply]

9CL : Seriously McEldowney , thesaurus jokes are not funny. Especially when you keep using it all the time.

Professor Fate
April 18th, 2011 at 10:56 am [Reply]

MW: Young people today. why don’t they just sit on the couch and wait to die like us.

FW: Lady you just dodged a huge bullet. Accept this and move on.

Calvin's Cardboard Box
April 18th, 2011 at 10:58 am [Reply]

@Mustang (#66):

That was no simple make-out session. The Ghost of Lisa sat in the back seat and gave her thumbs-up! Nothing screams “potential life partner” like hearing “I see the spirit of my dead wife watching over us while we are intimate and demonstrating her approval”.

AhClem
April 18th, 2011 at 11:00 am [Reply]

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#53):

Archie: That pizza is so unappetizing, I suspect it’s sold by the Charterstone Bakery.

It’s a Montoni’s special, with dioxin, carbon tetrachloride and benzene toppings.

Mallard, The Giant Duck
April 18th, 2011 at 11:04 am [Reply]

MT: Oh great! That Jackelrod must be off his meds and somehow escaped from the mental ward again and is back in the studio stealing more old clip art for another story!
As the NEW story evolves: After months of not being missed, Mark cleverly shows up at the cabin and reminds the stiffs who live there WHO he is.
Cherry gets a five minute walk with Mark to the riverbank when Mark gets a call from his doctor.
Mark abuptly leaves with Doc Thrasher’s son for a trip to that fancy “FISHING” camp to further his new intrests in “male-bonding”.
Meanwhile, giant flying ducks threaten to poop on Andy, Sassy and Rusty who are playing outside the cabin.
Have they no ethics or child protection laws in Lost Forest?!!
And WHAT’S with that blinding glaring blue color of the good doctor’s trousers? Is it a result of the radiation he is exposed to everyday from his x-ray machine?

MaryAnnTheRest
April 18th, 2011 at 11:05 am [Reply]

MW: “I can’t stop thinking about my son’s romantic past. I think of him running on the beach in Vietnam, the spray dampening his tanned, shapely thighs, as his last girl (Dawn or Vera, does it matter)? follows, staring lovingly at his shapely rear until he grabs her and they fall into the surf, and the music comes to a crescendo. Should I be worried about him?”

Little Guy
April 18th, 2011 at 11:05 am [Reply]

@exapno (#45):

Tiffany: 4-5 odds The whole thing has been a set up for her NOT to win

Evans telegraphed this when she had to choose between running the show and participating.

Carlo
April 18th, 2011 at 11:06 am [Reply]

FW: How is this kid Les’ “stepson”? Summer’s half brother, sure, but I don’t think “kid my dead wife gave up for adoption as a teenager” qualifies as stepson.

I really have to take Batiuk out of my Cronicle page.

Inspector Clueless
April 18th, 2011 at 11:10 am [Reply]

MT: Dang! That damn duck on the left in panel #2 ruined the realism of the strip by staring directly at the camera!

Charles
April 18th, 2011 at 11:11 am [Reply]

“Owl Law” sounds like the most adorable thing ever.

Jim North
April 18th, 2011 at 11:14 am [Reply]

9CL: So basically, both Seth and McEldowney secretly enjoy pretty much all situations.

Crank: I get the feeling there was no right answer to that question. If they’d said “You’re going to become a beekeeper!” then he would have sauntered out with a snarled “No, I’m rebuilding a ‘57 Chevy in the garage!” And once outside he’d add “Fuckheads!” and start rebuilding the ‘57 Chevy in the garage.

Curtis: Damn, things are rough at Curtis’ school, even after the bully removal. They apparently can’t afford to get their broken bell fixed, so they just have a teacher stand in the middle of the hall and yell “BRRINGGG!”

DT: Oh snap, that’s not Diet Smith’s warehouse, boys! From the symbol on that box, I reckon you’ve accidentally broken into the X-Mansion! I hope you enjoy getting beat down by mutants only slightly less repulsive than yourselves. Personally, I’m gonna sit back and enjoy the beautiful expanse of Lizz Leg we’ve been given today.

FW: Has Karen Moy started ghostwriting all the comics now or what? Yesterday Marvin got all Kindle-happy, and today we’re getting a Liza-style stalker-thought balloon from Cayla in Funky Winkerbean. Before you know it, we’ll be seeing such developments as Marmaduke finding a puppy but then having to give it back to its owners, Sarge driving off a cliff after Beetle spurns his advances once again, Abbey making inappropriate advances toward Sophie, and Mark Trail meddling in the lives of others whether they like it or not.

Actually, now that I think about it, maybe Moy has been writing all of the comics for quite some time!

GF: I’m almost completely sure that I don’t want to know where he was keeping that dollar. Like, 86% sure.

GT: Man, this magician is awful. You can see the board she’s laying on and everything.

JP: Yes, yes, Mr. Wilson, I can see you’re trying to set up Constance to be a little beeyotch here, but I can also see what she’s wearing. I’m still Team Constance all the way, baby.

Phantom: Oh no the Python isn’t in his cell this is totally unexpected wanna go grab lunch or something.

S-M: “It’s not true, my darling. I won’t let it be true! I’ll just close my eyes real tight until you being a vampire goes away!”

pugfuggly
April 18th, 2011 at 11:14 am [Reply]

@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#70): It’s true, one of the last, but least discussed, stages of grieving for a spouse is having a three-way with your current partner and the disembodied spirit of your past past one. If you need further explanation, I suggest you pick up Ghost plus One, staring Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.

Lost Forest in space
April 18th, 2011 at 11:17 am [Reply]

MT: “MARK! Can I come by and talk to you about a personal problem?”.
“Sure Doc, but first could you send someone over to get out of this chimney? I seem to be sort of stuck. Good thing I had my old desk telephone in here with me when you called!”.

Mibbitmaker
April 18th, 2011 at 11:17 am [Reply]

MW: Meanwhile, you‘re dating Mary! Physician, heal thyself!

PBS: Rat would feel superior to people in coach in coach!

9CL: Comic creator, describe thyself!

S-M: She can alter reality!

Ed. Lee: Title character, decribe thyself!

S. Stout
April 18th, 2011 at 11:20 am [Reply]

@exapno (#45):

You forgot about Delta! The entire cast of Luann is in this beauty pageant!

Walker of Dog
April 18th, 2011 at 11:23 am [Reply]

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#53): I thought the box of popcorn was the weapon. “Choke on an old maid, Tracy!”

Effluvius Erratus
April 18th, 2011 at 11:23 am [Reply]

MW: Oh, poor scowly-jowly Dr. Jeff! What does you your adult son whom you exiled to Vietnam for dating women do as soon as he comes back from Vietnam? He dates a woman! Now I know what Shakespeare meant when he wrote, “How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is / To have a thankless child!”

Momma: I encourage all of you to reread today’s strip with Francis’s lines as if they were drenched in bitter sarcasm. It transforms the experience from mildly annoying to vaguely amusing.

Beutel, James
April 18th, 2011 at 11:25 am [Reply]

The dyslexic in me read the last line in Mark Trail as “It’s my John son!”

Lonnie momjeans
April 18th, 2011 at 11:27 am [Reply]

MT: “It’s good to see you, Ben…WHAT’S going on?”
“It’s my son John. What I mean is, it’s my son John standing here talking with you Mark, not me. I am not here, It is my son John”.
“THAT’s okay Ben, I understand. I get that way myself sometimes. Ever since I got shot in the head anyway, that is.”

commodorejohn
April 18th, 2011 at 11:28 am [Reply]

A3G – Words that have never before appeared in a sentence together: “Tommie” (or any pronoun thus indicating) and “passion.”

A.D. – I have no problem with graphic depictions of predation in the comics, but I’d like any associated jokes to be actual jokes, and not just isolated punchlines.

Crankshaft – As long as this ends with Jeff going into anaphylactic shock and dying, I’ll weather any number of godawful bee-themed malapropisms.

DT – So that’s where the Ghostbusters’ Proton Packs got to…

FW – …aaaaaaaAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHRRRRRGGGGGHHHH

GT – If by “dives” you mean “hovers along perfectly parallel to the ground,” then yeah, sure.

JP – Oh, back to our…uh, “A” plot? Actually, I was kind of starting to enjoy the “B” “D” plot…

Love Is… – A Nightmare On Elm Street.

MT – “Can you tell me where he’s gone? He freed a lot of people…”

MW – “I’m going to subtly disapprove this coffee into oblivion!”

Phantom – Well, there we go. Huh.

SF – GWAH! What happened to Sally’s hair!?

Mibbitmaker
April 18th, 2011 at 11:29 am [Reply]

MW: So, because Drew has a not-so-good romantic past, he should unwillingly stay alone the rest of his life? That’s cold, Dr. J! Then again, she is Cayla from FW a melodramatic-thinking stalker, so it may all be for the best.

Marv: Eliminate Marvin! Eliminate MARVIN!!!

MT: Gee, let me guess: John’s become a smuggler of some kind, right?

Arch: Next: Jughead teaches his dog how to breathe.

Blondie: Bizarro Dagwood!
He’s also really fat and eats like a bird.

Buck Ripsnort
April 18th, 2011 at 11:37 am [Reply]

@Tom Allen (#27): “Are we not men? WE ARE DEVO!”

terrapin
April 18th, 2011 at 11:42 am [Reply]

MT: “Well, Doc…I was just about ready to pleasure my wife after weeks of absence, her not knowing if I was dead or alive so…yes! Come right over. And please hurry!”

RMMD: Wait, did Tony just say something sensible? Great! Now I’ve lost the plot!

GA: A few years ago I was at a really good pizza place with my wife and we had some leftover pizza so we had it put in a box to take home. When we got home we couldn’t find the pizza and we realized that I must have left it on the roof of the car and it slid off into oblivion on the way home. What I’m getting at is…Slim, you will NEVER live this down! You will be hearing about this for the REST of your LIFE! Good luck with that. (Love you honey!)

Luann: CRAP! I laughed at Luann!

Fashion Police
April 18th, 2011 at 11:49 am [Reply]

@This Guy (#yy61) said:
Dante wrote his Divine Comedy in Italian (Tuscan-style), which I seem to recall reading was something of a big deal at the time, Latin having been the standard for “serious works.”

We apologize for the dilatory response, but would suggest a rather closer connection between Signor Dante’s Italian and vulgar Latin than between, say, Chaucer’s English and Old English.

Walker of Dog
April 18th, 2011 at 11:50 am [Reply]

A3G: “She’s got the passion”? Dan, what mopey-faced slouch are you looking at?

JP: Sam is too excited to get bummed out by someone’s death or whatever. Check it out – he gets to sit up front with Angel, his new, super-cool ‘ethnic’ friend.

Plug: Love Is… forbidden interspecies manimal coupling and an anarchic hatred of constitutional mandates.

9CL: Hey, Lurch, blather on about your irresistible sex-magnetism all you want. But no one gave you permission to make eye contact with the readers, capisce?

Jumb: Check out the oh-so-articulate, social climbing poser-zombies. What’s next – attending the neighborhood association meetings? Swapping tulip bulbs? A real zombie would be climbing out of the panel and lunging at the reader’s face.
The zombie couple bought the house because it was this: |I|M| |A| |K|I|L|L| |Y|O|U|.

Uncle Lumpy
April 18th, 2011 at 11:51 am [Reply]

Principles of Owl Law:

1. There, there.
2. Seriously, it’s going to be all right.
3. I’m sure you didn’t mean it.
4. There’s no need to raise your voice.
5. Someday we’ll look back on this and laugh.
6. Where does it hurt?

Anomaly
April 18th, 2011 at 11:56 am [Reply]

MT: “It’s good to see you Ben…what’s going on?”
“It’s my son John! He’s gotten this crazy idea into his head that he wants to have sex with other men!”

Baka Gaijin
April 18th, 2011 at 11:56 am [Reply]

@Walker of Dog (#83): You owe me a new keyboard!

@One-eyed Wolfdog (#10): I’ll supply a respirator for Bea and some Pine Sol to make sure the little turd fountain is perfectly clean.

ArchieNemesis
April 18th, 2011 at 11:57 am [Reply]

Love Is harassing her round-the-clock in direct violation of the restraining order.

Dennis Jimenez
April 18th, 2011 at 11:59 am [Reply]

@Mibbitmaker (#88): Arch – Then Hot Dog instructs Jug in lifting his left leg first….

Fashion Police
April 18th, 2011 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

We would strongly encourage Mr. Trail’s to follow Dr. Thrasher’s example and add a necktie to his habitual monochrome khaki look. A bow tie, we think, would be more in keeping wtih his personal vibe, as it would provide him with the reverently nostalgic feel of a 1950s gas station attendant.

Baka Gaijin
April 18th, 2011 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

Slylock Fox: As usual, the fox is wrong. IT WAS REEKY RAT!!!

Sally Forth: Someone’s been reading Prince Valiant, haven’t you Sally!

Pluggers: What the F$#@$ are they talking about? Pluggerdog there is married to the giant frumpy chicken, not the dumpy bitch.

Bizarro: Ghost written by Ted Forth.

Herb and Jamaal: What the F$#@$ is he assembling? A box of cereal?

ElkMeadow
April 18th, 2011 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

Hi Dingo!

@Dr. Weird (#y59):

I think we’ve seen more thought balloons about her insecurity over the relationship than actual SPEAKING WITH LES about what she wants.

Maybe her former spouse thinks that they’re still married. After all, she never mentioned a divorce.

Effluvius Erratus
April 18th, 2011 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#47):
Mark is coming dangerously close to Mary Worth territory here…

Maybe Mark is experiencing a sort of midlife crisis where his previous outdoors-themed plots no longer bring him the satisfaction they once did. First, he tried to simply make his outdoor adventures more adventurous à la Phantom with the addition of diamond smugglers and drug runners to his usual mucking about woods and streams. However, the former adventure ended rather ignominiously and the latter somewhat anticlimactically, so now he’s going to try his hand at outdoor-themed interpersonal meddling. It won’t work out, of course, and when it doesn’t, he’ll open a lottery storage and prostate exam shack along the Appalachian Trail.

Mark B
April 18th, 2011 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

An issue so personal he can’t talk about it over the phone? Dude, talk to your doctor. Mark Trail can’t help you with your ED issues.

Fashion Police
April 18th, 2011 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

We would strongly encourage Mr. Trail’s to follow Dr. Thrasher’s example and add neckwear to his habitual monochrome khaki look. A bow tie, we think, would be more in keeping wtih his persona, as it would provide him with the reverently nostalgic feel of a 1950s gas station attendant.

Mark B
April 18th, 2011 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

Hmm, I just noticed that Mark Trail’s friend has a striking resemblance to Richard Nixon. As much as anyone can have a striking resemblance to a real person in an Elrod drawing.

bourbon babe, unbuckled
April 18th, 2011 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

@Fashion Police (#98): I realized today that the basic Elrod male body type reminds me of the classic Arrow Shirt ads—which, appropriately, are now notable for their homoeroticism.

Baka Gaijin
April 18th, 2011 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

@Mark B (#102): Not talk to Mark Trail about ED issues? He’s the poster boy for erectile dysfunction. Perfect person to talk to about that.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
April 18th, 2011 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#105): Custer wore an Arrow shirt. . . .

ElkMeadow
April 18th, 2011 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

Dr. Jeff, did something happen to Drew in Vietnam that you know of, that we haven’t learned about yet/

Red Greenback
April 18th, 2011 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#107): *rimshot*

wossname
April 18th, 2011 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

@pugfuggly (#62):

On another note, shouldn’t there be a comma between ’son’ and ‘John’?

Serious answer: If he only has one son, then there should be a comma; if he has more than one, then having no comma is correct.
But I like your answer about the Lost Forest Comma Exemption better.

Robin
April 18th, 2011 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

Slylock Fox- I thought the answer was “the raccoon did it” because snakes can’t take a huge chomp out of a tomato.

ElkMeadow
April 18th, 2011 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

Weenie World shut down? Was the health inspector on his/her way?

Illustrator Steve
April 18th, 2011 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

MT: (Panel #3)–HEY!! THAT’s not Doctor Thrasher! THAT’S RICHARD NIXON! Further proof that Ejackelrod is still serching his old dead boss’s files for more old drawings to use over and over again!

RICHARD NIXON!!? Oh NO! THAT must mean ANOTHER lame Mark Trail story line involving corrupt politicians is about to begin AGAIN!!! AAAHHHGH!!!!!!!!!!

Rocky Stoneaxe
April 18th, 2011 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

4-18 Weird Sound Effects:

Tank — BONK!
Gil Thorp — WHAK
Buckles — BUURRP!
Curtis — BRRINGGG!
Edge City — STIR! STIR!
Sherman’s Lagoon — DING!
Garfield — CLAP CLAP CLAP
Heathcliff — SCRATCH SCRATCH
B.C. — SNIFF… RUSTLE RUSTLE
Mother Goose & Grimm — CRASH… THUD

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

@wossname (#32): Jeff knows Drew has the herpes.

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#47): Meddling in a parent-child relationship? “It’s my son, John. He doesn’t have a fishing licence, but he keeps having trout for dinner. I’m afraid he may be poaching.”

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#55): NSFW yet hilarious.

@Rhekarid (#63): I think we may have had that supposition before, but it’s time we were reminded, before we start taking the “human speech” thing in the strip too seriously.

Illustrator Steve
April 18th, 2011 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

@Mark B (#104): I also noticed the Richard Nixon resemblance and posted a comment about it, (#113), but at the time had not yet read your comment #104 about the same resembance. As they say, Great minds!

Mark B
April 18th, 2011 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

SlyLock: I knew it wasn’t the snake, since snakes eat their prey whole, and there wasn’t a tomato shaped lump distorting the snake’s body.

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

@Robin (#111): I intially assumed the issue was the snake and raccoon consummating their forbidden love (oh! do it to my cloaca!) in the pigs’ vegetable patch. Really, though, these animals are so petty. Who calls the cops over a half-eaten tomato? I figured the snake was innocent because snakes swallow their food whole and there were no tomato-shaped bulges in her torso.

Mark B
April 18th, 2011 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

@Illustrator Steve (#116): No harm, no foul. I’m going with the theory that Ben Thrasher is the illegitimate son of Dick.

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

@Mark B (#117): Aren’t you glad you didn’t post that a minute later?

Mark B
April 18th, 2011 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#120): Given the additional wordage and superior cleverness of your post, I’d be OK with calling it a tie.

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

MT: “Sorry to be late returning your call, I was shot by a diamond smuggler and had to escape from an island controlled by drug smugglers.”

@commodorejohn (#87): After yesterday, when BC seems unfunny I realize I’m missing some allusion to current events. This one is about the Conservative Party’s campaign promises regarding the Canada Health Act.

Walker of Dog
April 18th, 2011 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

@ElkMeadow (#100): Cayla’s afraid to verbalize her feelings because Lisa will hear her. That smug, judgmental ghost is EVERYWHERE.

pugfuggly
April 18th, 2011 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

@wossname (#110):

Serious answer: If he only has one son, then there should be a comma; if he has more than one, then having no comma is correct.

Hmmmm…I may have to re-appraise my own writing style here. Is the son’s name only an appositive if there’s a ‘choice’ in who the son might be? Ugh, science writing has ruined whatever proper english I learned in high school….

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

@Mark B (#121): I’m just glad we used slightly different words for that sentence. Although if they had been word-for-word identical I could have claimed a forum software glitch appended your post to mine.

Robin
April 18th, 2011 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

Aviatrix – I’m pretty sure the daddy pig is just a psychopath. You would think his wife and daughter are terrified of the snake and raccoon intruders, but they’re just afraid of his wrath when he turns his uncontrollable anger towards them.

Dood
April 18th, 2011 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

Only pluggers conflate the State of the Union with their dog-dog, dog-chicken, rhino-whatever, uhm, relationships.

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

@Walker of Dog (#92): The zombie couple brought the house because it was |A| |N|O| |B|R|A|I|N|E|R|.

bats :[
April 18th, 2011 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

In association with KarMann Labs and Completely Unnecessary Word Balloons, Inc.…

Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
April 18th, 2011 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

@TheDiva (#42): 9CL Good to know that in McE’s world, someone having a crush on you is legitimate grounds for having sex with them, then pretending like it never happened or meant anything. Such a nice person, Seth.

Why are we supposed to care about these people, again? I mean, he doesn’t even offer the consolation of schadenfreude to his readers.

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

The comics really are all about sex and death.

Phantom: Panel one is so homoerotic it’s turning me on, and I’m neither a gay male nor into the whole spandex S&M thing.

A3G: He’s not talking about her singing.

Fashion Police, sub-station 5
April 18th, 2011 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

MT: Yes, that IS Richard M. Nixon in panel #3! We would recognize him ANYWHERE in those old gosh-awful neon-blue slacks he would always wear! And LOOK! he’s even wearing that same old crappy black necktie of his. You remember…that old black tie of his with all the white gravy stains running down the side of it? At least that’s what his young political page back in those days told us it was, just some white gravy stains!

pugfuggly
April 18th, 2011 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#122): It all makes sense when you realize that the bird is Jean Charest….

Scott Bot
April 18th, 2011 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

Today, on Mark Trail, Ben and Mark grimace as each tries to crush the others hand in an attempt to prove their masculinity through the ancient ritual known as the ‘death grip handshake.’

With special guest star Bill O’Reilly!

Rocky Stoneaxe
April 18th, 2011 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

Marmaduke/Rose is Rose — A dog and a bird are venerated as living barometers. Since we know that the two were, in fact, lying about the chance of rain, I say feed ‘em both to Chester Crocodile:

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_X1IWXuEbgXI/S59cViVr1II/AAAAAAAACTw/3nHUVOyht8k/s640/crocdile%25252520eating%25252520a%25252520shark.jpg

Anonymous
April 18th, 2011 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

That Stupid Obama and his Pro-Lockhorns agenda! Thank you Pluggers, for speaking up for Real America!

Crankenstank
April 18th, 2011 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

That Stupid Obama and his Pro-Lockhorns agenda! Thank you Pluggers, for speaking up for Real America!

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

@pugfuggly (#124): I would only omit the comma if I were using ’son’ as a title, as people occasionally do. “Son John is making pancakes while daughter Lisa is picking berries to serve on top.”

I say use commas as you need to to make your meaning clear and your editor happy. And it’s nice if you give the reader a chance to breathe here and there.

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#129): I’m laughing, but I’m a little disappointed Ben’s johnson didn’t get a line.

Fashion Police
April 18th, 2011 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#105):
Yes, well-played! Although we preferred that Hathaway fellow with the eye-patch.

Fashion Police
April 18th, 2011 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

@Fashion Police, sub-station 5 (#132):
Impostor!

Effluvius Erratus
April 18th, 2011 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

@Mark B (#102):
Mark Trail can’t help you with your ED issues.

Perhaps Dr. Thrasher’s a bit confused as to just what a “woodsman” is or does.

AhClem
April 18th, 2011 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

@Uncle Lumpy (#93):

Principles of Owl Law:

1. There, there.
2. Seriously, it’s going to be all right.
3. I’m sure you didn’t mean it.
4. There’s no need to raise your voice.
5. Someday we’ll look back on this and laugh.
6. Where does it hurt?

7. Here, have a pellet.

Fashion Police
April 18th, 2011 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

We confess to being rather taken with Mrs. Worth’s schoolgirlish look, at least compared to Dr. Cory the Elder’s hideous turquoise sweater.

We imagine that “Drew’s dating again” was uttered in the same hushed hand-wringing tones as if he were a relapsed alcoholic: “Drew’s drinking again!” Next time, instead of sending him to Southeast Asia he should be confined to a Trappist monastery.

Dood
April 18th, 2011 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

What’s Dr. Ben Thrasher been thrashing?

Jim North
April 18th, 2011 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

@Uncle Lumpy (#93): “Owl Law” sounds a bit like “GlaDOS Law”.

5. Someday we’ll look back on this and laugh.

AND laugh.

AND laugh.

AND laugh.

Anonymous
April 18th, 2011 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#138): “Son john is making pancakes while daughter Lisa is picking to serve on top”.
How about, “Son John is sitting there losing his patience while still waiting for his stupid sister Lisa to get her ass back in here from picking those damn berries so she can finally cook and serve her crappy pancakes to son John!”.

Walker of Dog
April 18th, 2011 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

A3G: Jeff, if Drew’s romantic past upsets you so much, why do keep watching the videos?

Phan: “But on the plus side, our four-week fumigation program was a rousing success. Just look at all the dead silverfish!”

wossname
April 18th, 2011 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

@pugfuggly (#124): Right – nonessential phrases are set off with commas. So you’d write “Mark Trail turned away in horror from his wife, Cherry” — because if you left out “Cherry” it would still mean the same. And if you wrote “MT turned away from his wife Cherry” it would imply that he had more than one wife. Conversely, you’d write “Mark turned lovingly to his dog Andy” because there’s also Sassy. If you call that a dog. But I digress.

And I agree with @Aviatrix (#138) that commas can be great for helping the reader get through the sentence easily, even when they’re not required.

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

@Anonymous (#147): I started the sentence with son John cooking and daughter Lisa playing with LEGO, but I didn’t want sex roles to distract from the grammar, so I changed it to have them cooperate at a task. Apparently that still threatened John’s masculinity, though. No wonder he has to have his father proxy for him to freelance writer and vigilante Mark about a personal problem.

Frank Lee Meidere
April 18th, 2011 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

@pugfuggly (#124): I’m quite sure that the comma is needed, regardless of how many sons he may or may not have. Unless of course, he doesn’t have any sons.

Anonymous
April 18th, 2011 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

@Fashion Police (#140): I like the reference to Custer and his men wearing Arrow shirts! HAhahahah!

As far as the Hathaway fellow with the eye patch, what a great new look for Mark Trail! Since they took away his trademark pipe what better new look than for him to wear an eye patch!
(Giant squirrel and giant beaver sitting under a tree): “Hey Mark! WHERE did you get that nifty-fifties looking eye patch?”
(MARK): Hey guys! Missed not seeing you for a while. I got this eye patch from a sexy female in momjeans after getting shot in the brain by a diamond smuggler and drifted inmy boat to a remote island where the sexy lady inmomjeans made her four year old daughter pull my boat out of the ocean and drag it up the river and hide it in the woods while she dressed my gunshot wound with this old eye patch because she didn’t have a bandaid and we stole her drugloard’s airplane and flew away to Miami Beach”.
(Giant beaver and squirrel): “Yeah, well okay mark, we’ll be seeing you around the woods”.
(Giant squirrel to giant beaver): “Gheesh, that idiot sre can come up with some real doozies of a sotry! He should start writing a comic strip or something!”.

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

Given “Mark turned away from his wife Cherry,” I would quietly insert a comma after wife, regardless of how many wives Mark had. ‘Son John’ just barely passes muster as a title in my ideolect and ‘wife Cherry’ doesn’t.

Ohh noes. Disagreement about a minor issue of punctuation on the Internet. There’s going to be blood.

Mars
April 18th, 2011 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

This is the most baffling Pluggers I’ve ever seen. “You know you’re a Plugger if you have a stable marriage”? How is this an insult?

McManx
April 18th, 2011 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

@Uncle Lumpy (#93): Wait, I thought the Principles of Owl Law were:
1. “Ah, one…”
2. “Two-hooo…”
3. “Thrrrree… Crunch!”

Anonymous
April 18th, 2011 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#150): Hmmm, you are apsolutely right! How ’bout this…
“Mark tells son Rusty to tell daughter Lisa to stop playing with her damn LEGOS and go cook some pancakes for doctor thacher son John before son John loses his patience just like father doctor lost all of his patients”.

Black Drazon
April 18th, 2011 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

Nevermind the thieving nudists in Slylock Fox, I’m waiting to hear more about DOCTOR THRASHER, who already sounds ten times more interesting than Rex Morgan, and that’s while he’s confiding in Mark Trail! A spinoff is imminent, a sort of reverse Mary Worth, where Thrasher goes from home to home, telling them about his personal problems uninvited as they wonder why he’s standing in their begonias and leaning through their window.

Baka Gaijin
April 18th, 2011 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

@Mars (#154): That’s not a stable marriage. It’s a marriage in a stable! Ha ha. Get it? Animals, stable? Anyhow, those pluggers aren’t married. The big dog with the big mustache is married to the big chicken. The dumpy doglady is big dog’s sumpin-sumpin on the side.

Illustrator Steve
April 18th, 2011 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#153): I think THAT’s the main problem with Mark and Cherry’s relationship. It’s not so much the months of lonleness while Mark is away on some island or ocean voyage or flying to Miami. It’s what you said about inserting a comma for his wife! Cherry is deeply frustrated by Mark inserting something no bigger than the size of a comma! No wonder she dreams of Mark leaving again soon so she can finally run off with Kelly, who’s tongue has gotten her in so much hot water and is CERTAINLY bigger than a comma!

Uncle Lumpy
April 18th, 2011 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

Mark, as is his wont, objectifies human relationships that discomfort him : “Mark turned away from his wife-cherry to ask ben-dock about his john-sun.”

Artist formerly known as Ben
April 18th, 2011 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#138): So if blues great Son House drops over for dinner then,
A: I’m envious and
B: You don’t need a comma.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
April 18th, 2011 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

@McManx (#155): This.

*win*

Frank Lee Meidere
April 18th, 2011 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

@Anonymous (#156): Got caught up in the whole comma thing and forgot a little about apostrophes and capital letters, didn’t we? Here’s how I’d punctuate that:

“Mark tells son Rusty to tell daughter Lisa to stop playing with her damn LEGOS and go cook some pancakes for Doctor Thacher’s son, John, before son John loses his patience just like father doctor lost all of his patients”.

bats :[
April 18th, 2011 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#139): Oh, the week is young!

Plus, I got distracted…

Artist formerly known as Ben
April 18th, 2011 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#158): Illicit Plugger sex? I’ll take “Stuff I didn’t want to know about” for $400, Alex.

Frank Lee Meidere
April 18th, 2011 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#164): Now that’s funny!

bats :[
April 18th, 2011 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#158): next you’re going to be telling us all about the bridle suite they stayed in during the honeymoon…

pugfuggly
April 18th, 2011 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#153):

Disagreement about a minor issue of punctuation on the Internet of Mark Trail . We can all look forward to rereading this exchange again in a 2013 cracked.com article entitled ‘7 Most ridiculous things ever discussed on the internet

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#164): Edda and Chatu has potential. Maybe we were so distracted by the guns and the posturing that we didn’t realize that we just watched two weeks of hand sex between the Phantom and the Python.

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#167): I’ll bet her trousseau included a great halter top.

Effluvius Erratus
April 18th, 2011 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

Dr. Thrasher has a Web site. And a band.

You know, everyone’s assuming “Doctor” is a title, but the fact that Mark spells it out even when speaking raises the possibility it’s a name.

Frank Lee Meidere
April 18th, 2011 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

@Mr. O’Malley (#Y63): A regular feature in the 1930s Toronto Telegram was their “E-mail” column. In this case, it consisted of telegrams.

Calvin's Cardboard Box
April 18th, 2011 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

Phantom: Given that Phantom has already absconded with management and 1/2 of the staff for the prison, then dropped them off at the Presidential Palace of a neighboring nation with “Arrest Me” signs taped to their foreheads, one can only hope that he will pause during his mission to personally empty the cells in the solitary wing in order to unlock the cells in the rest of the prison, sparing the other inmates the choice between death-by-starvation and slightly-delayed death-by-starvation with a side order of cannibalism.

Red Greenback
April 18th, 2011 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#167): next you’re going to be telling us all about the bridle suite they stayed in during the honeymoon…
I’ve herd that one. It’s a funny bit!

bourbon babe, unbuckled
April 18th, 2011 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

@Red Greenback (#174): Hay, I hate to nag, but rein in those puns, please.

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#175): Are you implying that our palfrey words are hackneyed?

Dood
April 18th, 2011 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

Has Mark’s gunshot wound affected his speech center? “It’s good to see you, Ben…What’s going on?”

“Whoa, slow down! Watch those contractions, son! It they get any closer together, you will be giving birth to an expletive, and we cannot tolerate that!”

Esther Blodgett
April 18th, 2011 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

What is up with Mark Trail’s facial expression today?

Smug
Stoned
Sleepy
Recently serviced by Andy
Doing his best Jerry Seinfeld impression
Thinks he’s making a prank call
Enjoying the coil-y feeling of the phone cord running through his fingers
Flirting with the female readers
Flirting with the male readers
Channeling John Travolta in Season 1 of “Welcome Back, Kotter”
Practicing the Earth emotion called friendliness
Losing brain function control to his spit-curl

Help me out, Mr. Elrod – am I close?

Esther Blodgett
April 18th, 2011 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

@Natalie (#6): Made me giggle!

wossname
April 18th, 2011 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#153): Yeah, but if Mark had multiple wives, and you wrote “Mark turned away from his wife Cherry to accept a plate of pancakes from his wife Andy,” adding commas would be wrong. I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them (not here, where I wouldn’t try to enforce anything, but in real life).

And I don’t think this discussion would even make the top 7 million most ridiculous things on the internet.

Anonymous
April 18th, 2011 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

@Frank Lee Meidere (#163): Thank you. Now please instruct Jack Elrod on HOW and WHEN to use bold print. Actually, how about you just inform Elrod that he has no skill for being a WRITER or any talent for DRAWING! Maybe coming from you Elrod will finally get it and quit the comic business and go back to his third shift job at Walyworld unloading trucks.

Frank Lee Meidere
April 18th, 2011 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

@wossname (#180): I think talking about Mark Trail in the first place is ridiculous (fun, but ridiculous). If anything, talking about the punctuation and grammar in Mark Trail probably elevates the discussion to a slightly less ridiculous realm.

Frank Lee Meidere
April 18th, 2011 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

@Anonymous (#181): Nice idea, but Elrod is well-guarded by giant, mutant animals who ward off visitors and who read all his mail before letting him have it. The Internet, of course, is not allowed.

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

@wossname (#180): I’d let that sentence go without commas. I don’t make the rules or enforce them. I just trust my native speaker instincts about language.

If you showed that sentence to a hundred literate native speakers of English, 50% wouldn’t care, 10% would insist on the commas, 10% would insist on no commas and 30% would be outraged that Mark was allowed to marry Andy.

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

@Anonymous (#181): But we like Mark Trail. We could go out there with an exacto knife and a glue stick and offer to help make comics.

Liam
April 18th, 2011 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

MT-”I’m sorry to be late returning your call”? Apparently the bullet to the head has affected Mark’s speech patterns.

Roktober
April 18th, 2011 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

“It’s my son John…he appears to be a some kind of thing that came out of my wife. Who I have come to understand is a woman that I live with. I just don’t understand this situation at all, Mark. Can you help?”

This Guy
April 18th, 2011 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

MG&G: Hey, that alone is more action than newspaper Spider-Man features in a month.

OBH:
I want it back
I used up all my money tryin’ to please ya
Now I want it back
Want it all back
Want it all back

R==R: Snark 1: I don’t think I want to know what a rain of sperm cells betokens.
Snark 2: In panel three, Rose’s years of unnatural smiling snap like a rubber band.

SF: Very well done, Ces.

Fun (or something) fact: John Thrasher (1818-1899) was an early businessman in Atlanta (nicknamed “Thrasherville” in its early days) and founded the city of Norcross.

@Fashion Police (#91): Oh, true. I just thought I’d clarify.

Anonymous
April 18th, 2011 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

@wossname (#180):
If Mark Trail had multiple wives would that mean Lost Forest is located in Utah? I’m begining to make more and more sense of it all now….
“Mark turns his back to wife Cherry in disgust to accept a plate of pancakes from younger wife Andy”. “Mark’s friend, Doctor Ben Dover Thacher who, has a remarkable resenblance to, you guessed it, none other than, The less than honorable Richard Millhouse Nixon, instructs Mark and wife Cherry on the placement of commas and when, as well as when NOT, to insert them!”
(AM, I im-proving,…/:-], ;-},,Teacher?)

bourbon babe, unbuckled
April 18th, 2011 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

@Roktober (#187): Wow, if Doctor Thrasher is going to Mark Trail for help with matters reproductive and vaginal, he’s definitely barking up the wrong vaguely human, spit-curled tree.

Baka Gaijin
April 18th, 2011 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#165): Taking a second look at my comment, I have to second that “Ugh!”

Gloom Raider
April 18th, 2011 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

Wait..are those Pluggers the same species? Is that kind of marriage even legal for them? (The Animaniacs fan in me wants to shout, “It should be a chicken, I tell you! A giant chicken!!“)

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#190): I maintain that Doctor Johnson’s son’s problem is related to wildlife. Maybe there are ducks nesting in his construction site, he needs an out of the way spot to dump some leaky oil drums, or he’s adopted a pet deer without a permit.

Scott Bot
April 18th, 2011 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

@Liam (#186): Nah, he always talks like that.

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#190):After carefully studying the expressions and body language in the final panel, I’ve changed my mind. Doctor Johnson’s needs are neither ecological nor vaginal. He wants Mark so badly he can hardly stand. I wish Dingo were here to explain what son John has to do with it.

Effluvius Erratus
April 18th, 2011 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

@Esther Blodgett (#178):
Doing his best Jerry Seinfeld impression

Have you ever noticed that when someone asks you for help with a personal problem, they always feel the need point out that it’s a personal problem? Aren’t all problems personal problems on some level? I mean, if it didn’t affect you personally, it wouldn’t be a problem in the first place, would it? Of course, what they really mean when they say “personal problem” is an embarrassing problem. They’re too embarrassed to talk to their boss or wife or rabbi or doctor about their erectile disfunction, but not too embarrassed to ask me for advice, which for me, is a problem.

black butterfly
April 18th, 2011 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

I am terribly confused by the fact that Mark seems to be shaking the doctor’s hand and tearing off a single black sleeve the doctor is wearing at the same time, seriously invading his personal space. One might think it’s a passionate affair and Mark is heavily implying that talk can wait until later, but then it’s Mark, and the idea of personal space may be rather alien for him.

Walker of Dog
April 18th, 2011 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

@Effluvius Erratus (#196): See also: Food, airline, the deal with.

Effluvius Erratus
April 18th, 2011 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

@Walker of Dog (#198): And what’s the deal with getting shot in the head? In the movies they make it look “Bang! You’re dead!” but all the happened to me is I started using contractions. Now who here has kids? Can I get a show of hands? Show of hands? A lot of you—most of you have kids…okay, okay, now keep your hand raised if your kid is a hideous mutant…

Tophat
April 18th, 2011 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

By far my favorite part of this Slylock comic is the way Max Mouse is staring at that tomato in abject horror through his magnifying glass, like he’s grimly looking at an actual, horrific murder.

Not Just Any Dipstick
April 18th, 2011 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#122): And that was just yesterday.

Katy
April 18th, 2011 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

Wait. Les wrote a book about John Darling?

This means that his book about Lisa was the *second* book he wrote about someone dead. Yay Soo Kree Stowe.

Esther Blodgett
April 18th, 2011 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

@Walker of Dog (#198): And what is the deal with women? I mean, they sort of look like men, but they’re all lumpy in places where we’re just not lumpy. And their clothes fit them funny. I don’t get it.

…I think we have a winner.

Illustrator Steve
April 18th, 2011 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

@Anonymous (#189):
No, no no! You’ve ALL got it WRONG! Lost Forest is located in the state of Georgia off the grid somewhere in the famous Okefenokee swap near the old Ed Dood art studo, which Elrod broke into years ago but never left.
As far as Mark Trail having multiple wives, hell, that dope becomes numb as a store dummy in an Arrow shirt just at the mear thought of spending more than a few hours a year with wife Cherry. No way in HELL would he know what to do with MULTIPLE WIVES, except maybe having them stand around stiff as manniquins dressed in pink and blue 1950’s casual attire when they’re not working in his kitchen making lots of pancakes for him and Andy!
Now, on the other hand, multiple giant talking birds and animals? Yes, Mark would be comfortable with multiple giant talking birds and animals! Those creatures are his only close friends and appearantly posess some sort of telapathic means of controling his frustrated wife, Cherry, her deranged mad scientist* father, Doc, and the mutant adopted son, Rusty from doing anything rash, other than them whining with Rusty about his stupid little dog, Sassy, who’s always running off someplace ending up being used for gator bait!

*Help me with this one, will you? WHY is it that the word “scientist” is spelled s-c-i-e-n-t-i-s-t when the rule says it’s always “i” before “e” EXCEPT after “c”? Explain THAT ONE if you can.

Not Just Any Dipstick
April 18th, 2011 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

And every Plugger knows far more (about most anything) than the president [sic] does.

Not Just Any Dipstick
April 18th, 2011 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

Ste @Illustrator Steve (#204): Steve, try a spell-checker. Pleeze.????!!!!!

Not Just Any Dipstick
April 18th, 2011 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

@Illustrator Steve (#204): It continues with, unless the ‘c’ is silent, (like in ’scientist). Basics, basics, basics.

Poteet
April 18th, 2011 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

MT — From previous MT experience, plus the rings around their necks, I suspect these unfortunate mostly-monochromatic waterfowl are supposed to be male mallards. Handsome colorful mallards, with green heads and chestnut breasts and blue wing patches and everything. Better luck in your next cartoon lifetime, buddies!

Artist formerly known as Ben
April 18th, 2011 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#191): Yo, I do that to myself all the time. The “ugh’ part, I mean.

Red Greenback
April 18th, 2011 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

“Mark, can I come by and talk to you about a personal problem?”
“Sure!”
“It’s good to see you, roof… what’s going on?”
“It’s my shingles!”
*badumbumpwaitresstipsveal*

Mysterious Shirtless Lawyer
April 18th, 2011 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

Pluggers don’t need the president to tell them about the State of the Union. Especially a “president” who was born in Kenya and who is plotting with the terrorists to destroy us all!

Mysterious Shirtless Lawyer
April 18th, 2011 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

I wonder if “raccoon” will claim that the snake talked him into eating the tomato. It worked for Eve, sort of.

Rocky Stoneaxe
April 18th, 2011 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#164):

Pssst, wanna trade again, bats :[ ???

http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/0/229/134580-839-110392-1-master-comics_large.jpg

littlestevie
April 18th, 2011 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

Slylock: Stick the tomato. Where did that bone come from that is next to the piglet? Is that from an animal-animal that the pig family ate, or is it from a person-animal that maybe the pig family MURDERED? I think it is the latter because Daddy pig is trying to throw off Slylock with some petty tomato poaching.

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

@Katy (#202): Is that Mary-Sue Kree Stowe?

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

@Illustrator Steve (#204): So what you need is “Mark turned away from mutant ducks Oliver and Geoffrey to accept some pancakes from mutant duck Simone, then he boldly went fishing with mutant ducks Jaspal, Coriander and Ebonique.”

littlestevie
April 18th, 2011 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

@Not Just Any Dipstick (#207): I remember learning that when I was watching an old episode of “The Rifleman”. In the episode, Chuck Conners was teaching his son how to spell. Who said TV back then wasn’t educational.

Écureuil Écumant
April 18th, 2011 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

Pluggers: The union for which Pluggers are most notorious is when they wax so fat and indolent that they don’t get out of their recliner for two years and end up fused to it.

Johnny Knuckles
April 18th, 2011 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

SF: Is anyone else disquieted seeing a long bone in the Pig Family’s garbage? Is Mr. Pig is serial killer? Does he use his victim’s remains to fertilize his garden? Is that why he’s so neighborhood-watchy about mere vegetables? Judging by their horrified expressions, Mrs. Pig and L’il Piglette already know the horrifying consequences of crossing daddy.

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

@littlestevie (#217): And I thought littlestevie made it up. I always learned:

I before E
Except after C
Or when sounding as A
As in neighbour and weigh.

Where does the silent C come into the verse?

Rocky Stoneaxe
April 18th, 2011 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

@Fashion Police (#140):

Yes, well-played! Although we preferred that Hathaway fellow with the eye-patch.

I always wondered where Two-Face shopped for his Halfaway shirts…

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TwoFaced

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

@littlestevie (#214) & @Johnny Knuckles (#219): Wow, you guys are going all Law & Order on the pig family.

Dood
April 18th, 2011 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

Is the interspersed wildlife in any particular Mark Trail like a silent Greek chorus? Or are they just getting the hell out of there?

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#220): Also, if you like little-known extensions to your educational rhymes:

Thirty days hath September
April, June and November.
All the rest have thirty-one,
Save February which alone,
Hath twenty-eight; and one day more,
We add to it one year in four.

In March, July, October, May
The nones fall on the seventh day.

And that’s all I know of that rhyme. Does anyone have an extension to keep track of the ides and the kalends for each month?

Calvin\'s Cardboard Box
April 18th, 2011 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

@Not Just Any Dipstick (#207):

All I know about spelling, I learned from Peanuts specials.

Illustrator Steve
April 18th, 2011 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

@littlestevie (#217): DAMN! NOW you tell me!!! SH_T! If I had skipped school that day and stayed home to watch that episode I would have passed that spelling test and been some sort of highly paid genius today instead of a cartoonist! But NOOOO, I went to school EVERY damn day instead of playing hookey like all the other kids!

Walker of Dog
April 18th, 2011 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

@Illustrator Steve (#204) & @Aviatrix (#220): Let me help to clear this up:
‘i’ before ‘e’,
except after ‘c’
or when sounded as ‘a’,
as in ‘neighbor’ and ‘weigh’.
And something something ’scientist’.
All the rest have thirty-one,
except February, which doesn’t.
Next!

@littlestevie (#214): Where do Pluggers fit into the Slylock Fox taxonomy? Aristocracy? Mutant slave race? Parallel universe?

Dood
April 18th, 2011 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

Does Son John have gubernatorial ambitions? Oh wait, that was Frank Johnson.

Little Guy
April 18th, 2011 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

@littlestevie (#217): And the Silent ‘C’ refers to the one in “Celtic”, as in the pro basketball team (for whom Check played), and not the Hiberian tribe.

Little Guy
April 18th, 2011 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

@Little Guy (#229): Uh, Chuck.

Check.

Peanut Gallery
April 18th, 2011 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

@word-doctor (#50):

Blondie – I have new high hopes of seeing panel 1 in a mashup.

I’ll do better than that, here are all three panels in a mashup.

Écureuil Écumant
April 18th, 2011 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#224): “In March, July, October, May / The nones fall on the seventh day.”

If a none falls on the sixth day, does it make any sound?

One-eyed Wolfdog
April 18th, 2011 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

Feisty felons whose heists are revered?
Sovereign souls that society cheered?
Either way, please admit
That your rule is forfeit
English vowels, let’s be honest, are weird.

Makya McBee
April 18th, 2011 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

Regarding Shylock – I wonder about the barn in the background. If the farm animals live indoors, who lives in the barn? Oh, dear God, the humans are in the barn! The humans are in the barn!

And if the answer involves what various animals eat, shouldn’t the mouse be a little more worried about standing next to the snake…and the fox would probably be at the top of this food chain…if nature were to take its course in regards to any critters other than the raccoon, there would be an ensuing bloodbath.

Illustrator Steve
April 18th, 2011 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#224): @Walker of Dog (#227): Thank you SOOO much guys for clearing things up with those wonderful educational rhymes. And since we’ve all gathered together here to try and decipher Elrod’s attempt at writing Mark Trail storys, here are a few more thought provoking rhymes which may help us get through this…

“Around the tree and through the hole”.
“A stitch in time saves nine giant talking ducks”.
“If the glove fits, you MUST acquit!”
“When you can’t get it right, use SPELL-CHECK”.
“Candy is dandy, but sex won’t rot your teeth”.

and of course, there’s the line Cherry always says to Rusty once she spots Mark heading home towards the cabin after he’s abandoned them for six months:
“If in doubt, then, THROW THE BUM OUT!”

Red Greenback
April 18th, 2011 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H…
I got a gal on Sesame Street

greghousesgf
April 18th, 2011 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

the one they had in Pogo was;
Thirty days hath Septober
April, June and no wonder
All the rest have peanie brinkle
Except grandma, who rides a bicycle backwards.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
April 18th, 2011 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

Thirty days hath September, April June and November.
all the rest have thirty-one, except for February’s done
with 28 days clear, and 29 in each leap year.

also, this. (or that.)

you could go with this or you could go with that.

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#238): Here are 88!

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

And here’s the link that was supposed to go with the 88!

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
April 18th, 2011 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#240): I see your 88, and make Crazy.

But What Do I Know?
April 18th, 2011 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#224): If I remember my high school Latin: the kalends are always the first day of the month, and the ides are the 13th, except for March and May. Mnemonic? No thanks, I’m trying to give them up. . .

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
April 18th, 2011 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

I see your 88, and make it German.

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

@But What Do I Know? (#242): I’m pretty sure that the nones are on the seventh in March, July, October, May, and on the 5th in other months, with the ides eight days after the nones. I expect the kalends to be in the second half of the month, because otherwise everything would be bunched up in the beginning of the month. I think the Romans didn’t number the days of the month, just dated everything by how many days it was before or after the nearest nones, ides, or kalends.

Roman Pluggers don’t want calendars with those newfangled numbers on them.

word-doctor
April 18th, 2011 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

@Peanut Gallery (#231):

Great service.

Écureuil Écumant
April 18th, 2011 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

@greghousesgf (#237): Grandma rides her bicycle backwards and doesn’t have peanie brinkle? Whatever she’s using, she could make a lot of money off it.

Illustrator Steve
April 18th, 2011 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#240): One of my brother-in-law’s is a leap-year baby. After reading those 88 variations of that month’s poem to him the room started to shake and spin like a wall-hung serape as he disolved into thin air and we lost all memory of his existance. Just as if he had never been born!
Hmmmm, I wonder if Mark Trail may be a leap year baby? THAT would be SO cool!

BananaSam
April 18th, 2011 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

Most worryingly of all today’s Slylock introduces to the proceedings the fact that some animals eat other animals. Mob justice nothing, Slylock is going eat that Raccoon and maybe even the snake too, because the only law that really matters is the law of the Jungle.

Illustrator Steve
April 18th, 2011 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

MT: another sign noticed hanging above Mark’s cabin entry door…
“In God we trust, all others pay us with roasted giant ducks”.

This Guy
April 18th, 2011 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

Did anyone else just find it easier to remember how to spell words instead of trying to keep track of dozens of little mnemonic verses? I think the only mnemonic I found useful in school was SOH-CAH-TOA. Taxonomic hierarchy? Nah. Order of the planets? Not so much.

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#243): I believe the technical term is BFG.

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

@This Guy (#250): My father had one that I will never understand. He had difficulty spelling “difficulty” — which seems odd to begin with — but even odder he could remember it by reciting “Mrs. Dee, Mrs. Eye, Mrs. Eff-eff-eye, Mrs. See, Mrs. You, Mrs. Ell-tee-why.” Somehow by turning the letters into married women he could keep track of them. I guess he had some kind of affinity for … oh oh, this is going to be one of those traumatic moments like when I realized my dog wasn’t running happily on a nice farm in the country, isn’t it?

Violet
April 18th, 2011 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

After the last week or so of Liza and Drew, I realize I’ve grown somewhat attached to having Mary Worth conversations interlarded with creepy, calculating thought balloons. Think of how much today’s strip would be improved if Mary was like, “Who’s the lucky girl? (and how much does she charge?)” or Jeff was all, “Drew’s dating again (in spite of my cautionary example).”

SideshowJon
April 18th, 2011 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

So, did Mark Trail just give up on the diamond smugglers and druglords? Is the man who shot him in the head really gonna be spared the Fist o’ Justice?

littlestevie
April 18th, 2011 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

@Walker of Dog (#227): I would go with mutant slave race. There is no one as hot as Cassandra Cat in Plugger world. Therefore as it is in Judge Parkerland, Pluggers are subservient to Slylock Fox’s gang.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
April 18th, 2011 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#243): and *finally* remembered where I found the third part of the joke. . . .

I see your 88, and make it Japanese! (despite the site name, the pic is SFW, if somewhat hyper.)

Anonymous
April 18th, 2011 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

Slyfox should take a stroll thru Lost Forest sometime along with his mouse asistant holding his magnifing glass. Maybe they could finally burn the place to the ground!

Mr. O'Malley
April 18th, 2011 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#240): It didn’t have the one that I learned:

Thirty-one nights hath December
Plus six others we remember
Jan July Aug May Mar Oct
The rest to thirty nights are docked
All save February which twenty-nine hath clear
And twenty-eight each non-leap year

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

@Walker of Dog (#227): Pluggers are to the animals in Slylock Fox as the People of Wal-Mart are to you and me. Make the wrong diet, fashion, relationship and lifestyle choices and you too could be standing in the soft drink aisle dressed in spandex and bedroom slippers. Sure, Cassandra looks great now but if she doesn’t keep in shape, thirty years from now the only heads she’ll turn will be away.

Effluvius Erratus
April 18th, 2011 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

@littlestevie (#214), @Walker of Dog (#227), & @littlestevie (#255): I was tempted to say that Slylock’s totalitarian animal police state is a Star Trek-style Mirror Universe to the Plugger’s more staid, placid existence, but then I remembered that Because Pluggers have done nothing wrong, they have nothing to hide…except for their ponderous beer bellies.

bats :[
April 18th, 2011 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

@littlestevie (#217): “Hey, Paw, who you gonna shoot today?”

Mr. O'Malley
April 18th, 2011 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

Luckily we had someone to explain that Sunday’s BC was about donating to the victims of the Japanese tsunami, which we were supposed to understand because the setting sun over the usual BC ocean looked like the WW II-era Japanese Rising Sun flag.

But perhaps Mr. Mason could adopt the once-common practice of adding a supertitle to clue us in (as Griffy still does in ZtP), since it seems that no one can explain today’s strip. To make it more sporting he could put the supertitle upside down or in ROT13 so we have a chance to guess first.

Miss Othmar
April 18th, 2011 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

Couldn’t help but Google “Peanie Brickle”, and found this really terrific Pogo website….

Joe Blevins
April 18th, 2011 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

Zomby embarks upon a week-long experiment in minimalism.

littlestevie
April 18th, 2011 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#261): “Only thems that needs shooting, son”

Jonn
April 18th, 2011 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

So some pig has an unwanted ‘coon in his bushes, stealing his stuff.

Really, the subtext implies itself.

Rocky Stoneaxe
April 18th, 2011 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

Henry — Today the eponymous character is actually given a thought balloon:

http://www.jsonline.com/comics/32402404.html?feature_id=Henry

I know he spoke in the Henry comic book series from Dell and at least one Betty Boop cartoon, but has Henry ever spoken in his own strip?

Rocky Stoneaxe
April 18th, 2011 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#114):

4-18 More Weird Sound Effects:

Dog Eat Doug — SKMEK!
Soup to Nutz — WHUMP!
Reality Check — BZZZZZOWNT

Fashion Police
April 18th, 2011 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

@Anonymous (#152) said:
I like the reference to Custer and his men wearing Arrow shirts! HAhahahah!

Indeed! So delightfully droll that one daren’t be so stuffy as to point out that the Sioux and Cheyenne had repeating rifles at Greasy Grass Creek, and the Seventh did not.

And:

As far as the Hathaway fellow with the eye patch, what a great new look for Mark Trail!

Once again sir or madam, you score a telling point. Particularly as the original Hathaway man had a mustache.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
April 18th, 2011 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

for the record, the “Custer/Arrow shirt” ref is from Edward Abbey’s “The Monkey Wrench Gang”, one of my favorite lifts from that book, along with “‘chemicals, chemicals!’, says Heyduke”.

Nemovir
April 18th, 2011 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

9CL:Crush, crush? Seth, she is way beyond crush she, freaking, picking out the drapes. You piece of…he just a cartoon character, he just a cartoon character…

zerowolf
April 18th, 2011 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

MW: Is Mary so desperate for a good meddle she’s willing to pay for it?

zerowolf
April 18th, 2011 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

A3G: Ladies and Gentlemen, what we are witnessing is the birth of a new pop-superstar… …oh hell, who am I kidding, this is A3G where “Tommy-fail” is a as sure as cancer in Westview.

zerowolf
April 18th, 2011 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

FW: How cute she still has hope. Boy are you in the wrong strip.

zerowolf
April 18th, 2011 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

BGSS: Time for sermons about sloth and gluttony.

zerowolf
April 18th, 2011 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

GT: When did they start using light-sabers in softball? Or is that a pool cue?

dale
April 18th, 2011 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

@SideshowJon (#254):

What shooting? No witnesses, no evidence.

If there were witnesses, Ben Smith should simply claim: Trail and his lady friend had been stalking me for days. Trail was chasing me. I warned him to stop. Finally, I fired my gun.

zerowolf
April 18th, 2011 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

MT: He goes to bed with his stockings on!

KarMann
April 18th, 2011 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

@exapno (#45): Tiffany caught trying to bribe judges – 20-1

Depends. How broadly are we interpreting “bribery” here?

zerowolf
April 18th, 2011 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft: Special order of killer honey bees coming up!

KarMann
April 18th, 2011 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

@Digger (#56): Doctor Thrasher would be better off asking Andy for advice about his son instead of Mark.

It has been mathematically proven that “X would be better off asking Andy for advice about Y instead of Mark” is true for every possible value of X and Y. [*]

seismic-2
April 18th, 2011 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

spelling: “I” before “E”, except after “C”, unless the “C” is a dipthong with “S”, or unless the “EI” forms an “A”. That rule is so wide-ranging and comprehensive than any exception would have to be really weird. Oh, wait…

punctuation: I think everyone is missing the point here. The correction punctuation isn’t “Mark turns away from his wife Cherry’, and it isn’t “Mark turns away from his wife, Cherry.” It’s “Mark turns away from his wife. Cherry!!!”

GT: “A ‘Lady Ram’ tees off.” EEEEEWWWWWWWW!

This Guy
April 18th, 2011 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

Love is… apparently the same as stalking.

But What Do I Know?
April 18th, 2011 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#244): And they don’t want those new-fangled numbers that aren’t letters either. . .

Aviatrix
April 18th, 2011 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

@But What Do I Know? (#284): No kidding, those numbers came from the A-rabs!

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
April 18th, 2011 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

@zerowolf (#275): Sloth 1, Sloth 2[*], and Gluttony. No sermons needed.

Mike
April 18th, 2011 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

MW: “A penny for your thoughts, Jeff!”

“These black eyes you gave me hurt really badly, Mary. Next time, pay attention when I use the safe word.”

exapno
April 18th, 2011 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

@KarMann (#279):

Any which way you want to….

Frank Lee Meidere
April 18th, 2011 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

@KarMann (#281): You name is KarMann Fermat?

Nosyt
April 18th, 2011 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

“In this week’s strip titled ‘But Some Are More Equal Than Others’: our plucky detective, Slylock Fox, investigates the strange happenings at Mr. Orwell’s Farm.”

Rocky Stoneaxe
April 18th, 2011 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

1940s comic book ad for Archie radio show:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/gulliverarkham/5208179394/

commodorejohn
April 18th, 2011 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#291): Gah! Is that really what they looked like at the time? Looks more like a MAD Archie parody.

Spotts1701
April 18th, 2011 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#7):

No, they would be Ro-beasts!

Which means: WE NEED VOLTRON!

Rocky Stoneaxe
April 18th, 2011 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

@Spotts1701 (#293):

WE NEED VOLTRON!

Would you be willing to settle for Voltrain*?

http://www.doobybrain.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/thomas-the-engine-voltron.jpg

*A fusion of Voltron and Thomas the Tank Engine!

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
April 18th, 2011 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

@Spotts1701 (#293): Go VOLTRON Force! [*]

Oregonian
April 18th, 2011 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

@McManx (#23):
Phantom — Boomsby Prison: Is this the most lax high security prison in the world? GWW kicks Python’s ass all night long and no one notices it til they find his cell empty the next morning?

 
You obviously missed stripeybutt’s earlier visit to punch-two-guards-and-you’re-out-of-here Gravelines.

ElkMeadow
April 18th, 2011 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#252):

From the movie Matilda

“Why are all these women MARRIED? Mrs. D? Mrs. I? You’re supposed to be teaching SPELLING! Not poetry! ”

~Agatha Trunchbull

ElkMeadow
April 18th, 2011 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

Hi Dingo!

bats :[
April 18th, 2011 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

@ElkMeadow (#298): Oh! Yeah! Greetings to Dingo!

Vince M
April 18th, 2011 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#240): That’s useful, but they left out “Thirty days have September, October, June and February, all the rest have 29, except my brother who got six months”, attributed to Hrundi V. Bakshi.

Frank Lee Meidere
April 18th, 2011 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#252): I learned to spell “encyclopedia” from the Disney Song:

Encyclopedia,
Ee en see-why see-el oh pee-ee-dee-aye-ay.

Although it was just the letters, something about the rhythm made it memorable. And I can still remember my phone number from when I was five, because my grandmother made me march around the dining room table chanting:

Clearwater Six! Four! Eight eight nine!
Clearwater Six! Four! Eight eight nine!

Don’t know my present phone number, though, and we’ve lived here for over a year.

Frank Lee Meidere
April 18th, 2011 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

@Vince M (#300): One of the songs on the an old comedy album, They’re Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-haaa!, started with the verse:

“Thirty days hath September,
April, June, and my great-grandmother.”

[Old Man] Muffaroo
April 18th, 2011 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

THREE HUNDRED… well, since that brings it down to reading every comment to check for snardundancy (everybody else was making up words…) or finishing my final animation project, here are my doubtlessly superfluous observations. As a special favor, I’ve already dumped the three lamest ones. Read ‘em or not, but remember: They’re unpasteurized!

Family – “I ate something that Marvin kid made, and now my tummy feels funny!”

R=R – Rose really blew the money shot. I’m guessing she’s never seen so many giant mutant sperm before.

Spider-Man – “Oh, Morby-Worby! We’ll face this problem together! Here, let me hug your latent homicidal bloodsucking compulsion away!”

Phantom – “The Python! He’s flown the coop! He’s slipped the surly bonds of servitude! He’s opened the door, shook the dust of prison off his shoes and taken a bleeding powder! He’s an EX-con!”
“(Wrong Python, Greg!)”

Rocky Stoneaxe
April 18th, 2011 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

Spotlight on the 1930s Popeye radio show:

http://home.earthlink.net/~thimbletheatre/spotlightradio.html

Frank Lee Meidere
April 18th, 2011 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#303):

Phantom – “The Python! He’s flown the coop! He’s slipped the surly bonds of servitude! He’s opened the door, shook the dust of prison off his shoes and taken a bleeding powder! He’s an EX-con!”
“(Wrong Python, Greg!)”

I got nothin’ to add. I just wanted it posted again.

Rocky Stoneaxe
April 18th, 2011 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

Tom Tyler from 1943 Phantom movie serial:

http://www.dialbforblog.com/archives/234/phantom_serial1_1943.jpg

Baka Gaijin
April 18th, 2011 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#292): At first glance, Jughead looks like a seriously bitchy queen, a male Tallulah Bankhead if you will.

Sgt. Stoned
April 19th, 2011 at 12:04 am [Reply]

Slylock Fox: The upright snake looks suspiciously like the serpent who tempted Eve in the Garden of Eden. So, maybe the raccoon ate the tomatoes, but the snake made him do it.

MT: Something tells me that “John” has sideburns and/or a mustache and/or a goatee and/or a full beard.

Beetle Bailey: “And if you don’t like it, Beetle, you must be gay!”

Maggie the Cat
April 19th, 2011 at 12:08 am [Reply]

Maybe it will take the blunt force of Mary Worth’s sensibility to break it to Dr. Jeff that the reason his son “doesn’t have a good track record with the ladies” is because he’s just not into vaginas. No big whoop, he just prefers man sausage.

Aviatrix
April 19th, 2011 at 12:09 am [Reply]

@Frank Lee Meidere (#301): Marching around the dining table, eh? I try to make mine spell something. Once my phone number was PINKYSH. Now I just put it on a DYMO label on the phone. That also has the advantage that if I’m in a public place and have to give my phone number, I can just show it to the person, rather than reciting it out loud.

Josh
April 19th, 2011 at 12:22 am [Reply]

@Walker of Dog (#227):
‘i’ before ‘e’,
except after ‘c’
or when sounded as ‘a’,
as in ‘neighbor’ and ‘weigh’.
And something something ’scientist’.

I don’t wanna talk to a scientist
Y’all motherfuckers lying, and getting me pissed.

Frank Lee Meidere
April 19th, 2011 at 12:28 am [Reply]

@Josh (#311): He did say “something something scientist,” and we all know what that means.

ElkMeadow
April 19th, 2011 at 12:31 am [Reply]

Hi Dingo!

Two things, Dr. Jeff. Drew has been in Vietnam for a while. Maybe there might be a few other things to worry about, like, what did he do with the charity money you sent him? What was Drew like with the ladies at Peace Village? Is there a possible grandchild that Jeff doesn’t know about? And in that second panel, I think it’s time to call 911 or call it a night and go to bed (by yourself). You look awful, but Mary looks younger and like she’s about to pounce. Maybe Mudhen Malburd Maldubh has crossed over time and space and is now existing at Charterstone.

Jeff, she’s an emotional vampire, and she’s been two-timing you with Wilbur.

Meanwhile, snarking at RMMD seems to have dropped off with this community’s realization that Dexter has had some life-long challenges. Either that or the fact that this story has taken two months and more to get through one day’s events, without answering the question of whether or not Berna won the lottery.

The Maltese Falcon was the stuff dreams are made of; this strip has been one long snooze.

Holly lays out his plans. Tony’s expression? “Hey, I’m going to go to the club. I don’t want anything to do with this scheme.”

Aviatrix
April 19th, 2011 at 12:57 am [Reply]

@ElkMeadow (#313): Snarking at RMMD seems to have dropped off with this community’s realization that Dexter has had some life-long challenges

Maybe so. While there are a few individuals who will take advantage of the mentally handicapped, most people extend them the special protection afforded to children and cute animals. Personally, I’m kind of holding my breath to see if the writer realizes that Dex is special. It seems so obvious, but then I thought it was obvious that Liza was a crazy woman, and Drew still dated her.

Jim North
April 19th, 2011 at 1:14 am [Reply]

Tuesday’s Spider-Man: Jeez, even Mary Jane’s spider-sense works better than Pete’s.

bats :[
April 19th, 2011 at 1:18 am [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#314): nah. The story’s just boring, that’s all.

Frank Lee Meidere
April 19th, 2011 at 1:21 am [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#314): It would be interesting to analyse comics from a psychological and medical perspective. It’s not like anybody in Mary Worth, Mark Trail, Judge Parker and the rest actually act “normal.”

The characters in Mary Worth all lurch around in a manner suggesting early-stage Parkinson’s. Spiderman obviously needs to get to a sleep specialist. And it’s probably significant that virtually every male character in virtually every comic is a eunuch.

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