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Friday, April 29, 2011

Plug into sadness

Pluggers, 4/26/11

“Recession” — pluggers hear that word on the TV news or talk radio, sometimes. Seems like it has something to do with the fact that there aren’t any good jobs around here, they guess, not that there were any good jobs for years before the news people started saying the word so much. Anyway, there’s something about the word — or maybe it’s just the way people say it — that makes pluggers think about their own lives, and how none of it worked out the way they should have. “Recession” rolls through their heads every morning, as they stand in their crappy little bathroom and stare into their dingy little mirror and think about how they had hoped not to live in this town anymore by the time they grew up but they still do and every time they see one of the laughing morons they went to high school with at the 7 Eleven or the Arby’s or whatever they die a little inside. They think about how the people on the radio said that they should be grateful for their shitty job, because of the recession, but really they’d be pretty happy if they got to work and found that the place had burned to the ground, or even that they had been just been fired for no good reason. Their little ritual in front of that dingy mirror gets a little bit longer every day. Those radio people will stop talking about the recession someday, but pluggers will keep staring into the mirror and thinking all these terrible things, every day, until they die.

(Wait, this is some joke involving “recession” and “receding,” about the dog-man’s baldness? Ha ha, come on, pluggers don’t know any of the parts of speech of Latin verbs!)

Dick Tracy, 4/26/11

How I’m interpreting Special Officer Pencil Mustache’s comments in the first couple panels here: “Dick, based on your bizarre story and your well-known penchant for brutality, I’m going to guess that you just summarily executed Flyface and the Fifth, but acknowledging that would lead to a lot of paperwork for me, so, eh.”

Mary Worth, 4/26/11

Oh, boy, it turns out the “Dawn is a technology addict” plot didn’t end abruptly — it didn’t end at all! Instead, Mary Worth is tackling its most ambitious project yet: a sprawling, multi-character arc all based around the theme that technology is the Devil’s work. Liza, your patient could have died while you were playing Scrabulous on your unusually large smartphone! I can’t wait until Wilbur is called in to implement kite-based therapy.

Momma, 4/26/11

Has anyone ever wanted to see a real bedroom love scene in Momma? No? Well, too bad, this happened anyway.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 26, 2011 at 08:28 am and is filed under Dick Tracy, Mary Worth, Momma, Pluggers. | 240 responses to “” Patrick
April 26th, 2011 at 8:33 am [Reply]

Liza is obviously flooding Facebook with iPhone photos of her half-eaten cafeteria sponge.

Kansattica
April 26th, 2011 at 8:36 am [Reply]

Momma: What kind of bedroom has a window that close to the floor? With drapes and everything? And is apparently left open for anyone who wants to walk by during lovemaking?

agony
April 26th, 2011 at 8:38 am [Reply]

momma – is this before or after the bj? Because there is no way those two are side by side in that tiny bed.

S. Stout
April 26th, 2011 at 8:39 am [Reply]

Luann: Gunther is somehow playing the role of Stereotypical Gay Man™ while lusting over a horribly selfish female. There should be an award for that instead.

Momma: Well, they didn’t put Momma in the bed with them, so maybe this strip is finally making efforts to get back to civilized society.

Renee J
April 26th, 2011 at 8:40 am [Reply]

@Kansattica (#2):

Maybe Momma’s on a ladder, which makes it extra creepy.

skeltometer
April 26th, 2011 at 8:40 am [Reply]

Ease up on that huge smartphone. Liza will use the miracle cure app she got for 99 cents and save the patient and get the hunky Dr.

Nekrotzar
April 26th, 2011 at 8:42 am [Reply]

Momma: Right, and you can thank me for how well I trained him to perform cunnili — no! delete! delete! undo! too late!!!

Terry in Maryland
April 26th, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]

Phantom: The Wambesi appear to have imprisoned The Python in the aviary at the local zoo.

Rocky Stoneaxe
April 26th, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]

Molly & the Bear — It’s not easy being an electric eel:

http://www.gocomics.com/mollyandthebear

The Dinette Set — “We’ve switched his coffee nuts with new Folger’s Crystals Ex-Lax. Let’s see if he notices.”

http://comics.com/the_dinette_set/

Mardou Fox
April 26th, 2011 at 8:45 am [Reply]

@agony (#3):

From the look on Mr. Momma’s face, I’d say it’s after.

New creepy thought: Does he have that satisfied look on his face because he knows Momma is there?

Rocky Stoneaxe
April 26th, 2011 at 8:46 am [Reply]

4-26 Weird Sound Effects:

Beetle Bailey — BUMP
Baby Blues — THUMP!
Piranha Club — SPLORT
Rose is Rose — BEEP BOP BOP
Drabble — PICK PICK CLAW SHRED

Todd the Dinosaur —

http://www.jsonline.com/comics/32402404.html?feature_id=Todd&feature_date=2011-04-26

Effluvius Erratus
April 26th, 2011 at 8:47 am [Reply]

Christ, Josh! You really captured what it’s like to spend your life in York, PA.

Archie: Was Archie’s mom always so hot, or is it the new artist?

FC: I don’t know why, but I find Daddy Keane very menacing in today’s panel.

MT: I love how Mark recoils every time Cherry kisses him, as if he’s thinking, “Ugh! Are these homo sapiens ever *not* in heat? And again with the lip-smooshing! You don’t see the other apes doing that—they’ve got dignity! “

Flummoxicated
April 26th, 2011 at 8:48 am [Reply]

It’s hard to look away from Liza’s horrible shrinking face disorder, but her freakish forearm is also an attention-getter.

Mardou Fox
April 26th, 2011 at 8:48 am [Reply]

Whoa, I just realized that Ziggy is a Plugger. Maybe he’s the missing link between Pluggers and people?

Government Cheese
April 26th, 2011 at 8:50 am [Reply]

MW: You mean Nurse Liza is goofing off on the job with electronics? NO – that would never happen! Technology is for the devil! (eats salmon square)

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
April 26th, 2011 at 8:52 am [Reply]

Lio: ouch.

R&R: *gigglefit* d’awwww.

rMC: I like this one.

JP: the “J” stands for “Jut” today. yowzers!

MT: a beaver, with wood in it’s mouth. In any other strip, it would be subtext. With Mark and Cherry, it’s just a foreground animal.

OBH: now THAT is how you shill your book! take notes, Brook.

Zits: “starting” is the word, alright.

standard snarpologies, and HA! on dodging post-jumpage!

Hibbleton
April 26th, 2011 at 8:55 am [Reply]

Even the gods must hate Momma. There looks to be some kind of celestial dagger about to hit her in the neck.

Johnnycakes
April 26th, 2011 at 8:55 am [Reply]

Pluggers – This was an excerpt from the suicide note of Ed Van Wicklen, Sr. Right?

Binder's Butter Beans
April 26th, 2011 at 8:56 am [Reply]

Dear God. I may never have sex again, for fear that my mother-in-law will climb in through the bedroom window during the act itself to tell me what a great mother she is. Thanks to “Momma” for making me consider that possibility! I mean seriously! Thanks loads.

Carter
April 26th, 2011 at 8:58 am [Reply]

Momma has finally had its intended effect on me. I want to scream to the gods and stab out my eyes with a brooch-pin.

nescio
April 26th, 2011 at 8:59 am [Reply]

Crock: Since Preppie is walking away, he means take a look at his ass.

Marvin: I’m really hoping this is a continuation from yesterday, and not his circumcision.

MT: No messing around with strange beaver in the woods like you did in the ocean.

OneBigHappy: Um, Rick, no one cares.

Zits: I remember this joke from the Roseanne pilot.

FafMor
April 26th, 2011 at 8:59 am [Reply]

I’ve got to admire Dick Tracy’s newfound efficiency – killing off three criminals in about 2 weeks or so. The old Dick would have dragged that out for a year or more. Only downside is within a short period of time, the only folks left in Gotham will be Dick, Batman and Superman.

Doctor Handsome
April 26th, 2011 at 8:59 am [Reply]

Haha! Okay, fess up, fuckers: Which one of you is behind today’s Pluggers? Kudos on making them depict the nonsensical concept of male-pattern baldness among anthropomorphic dogs, but you gave yourself away with your pseudonym. If “Ed Van Wicklen, Sr. of York, Pennsylvania,” isn’t a Comics Curmudgeon reader’s fake Plugger name, I’ll eat my hat.

[Old Man] Muffaroo
April 26th, 2011 at 9:00 am [Reply]

3G – It was quite painful when Rick fell down the stairs and spent the evening in the emergency room. You should have seen his face. It looked pretty much exactly like it does right here.

Archie – The paleolithic TV and remote lend credence to the retro theory of where this batch of strips comes from. The hand lettering lends even more. I went to the blog at the Archie website to see if it said anything, but the most recent entry there is all about Kevin, the new gay character.

Dick – “By the way, Jim, a piece of advice. Stay OUT of Lost Forest!”

[Old Man] Muffaroo
April 26th, 2011 at 9:00 am [Reply]

Luann – Gunther’s finally found the place he was born for — the place he truly belongs: Weenie World.

Marmaduke – “Don’t Hobart that weed, Marmaduke!”

Mary – Why does Father have a fever? Must be because the nurse wasn’t there! And why wasn’t the nurse there? Because they’re making Junior Jumble too darn hard, that’s why!

1 – Funny self-advertising today. Read it quick, before Uncle “Spamkiller” Lumpy pulls it from the Chron page!

Sweet Sassy Molassy
April 26th, 2011 at 9:02 am [Reply]

Your Plugger commentary hit way too close to home. I’m only 28 but everything you wrote applies to my life. Oh my god. Am I … am I a plugger? I don’t think I could handle that right now. Not with Shelia gone and the bills piling up. I ate a TV dinner the other day. Do they even make those anymore? They must, because my fridge was magically full of them when I got home. I wept softly while I watched CBS for 4 hours before going to bed at 8:30.

LoFoMoFo
April 26th, 2011 at 9:03 am [Reply]

JP: Constance is doing her best impression of the front grill of a ‘58 Cadillac.

Nekrotzar
April 26th, 2011 at 9:03 am [Reply]

@Effluvius Erratus (#12): You really captured what it’s like to spend your life in York, PA.

You’re a plugger if every morning you say to yourself, “At least I don’t live in Towanda.”

[Old Man] Muffaroo
April 26th, 2011 at 9:03 am [Reply]

Phantom – Okay, I get why Python’s in a cage, but why is that tree all tied up? Was it a very naughty tree?

Spider-Man – In a few hours, MJ will wake up in Dr. Morbius’s waiting room with a stack of hideously outdated magazines! NOOOOOO!

@Charlie the Bursted Carbunkle (#y202): Lizz had an old-school wrist radio. I don’t think she got to take it with her, but by then Dick and Sam had probably heard Fifth say where they were going and could rush to get there. Perhaps Dick prefers to let the world believe the device simply didn’t work so that nobody else would try and steal it. Ha ha! I’m overthinking this. Dick just thinks with his trigger finger.

@Mardou Fox (#14): Actually, Ziggy is the underachieving link between the Pillsbury Doughboy and Bibendum, the Michelin Man. (We will not speak of this again.)

Scott Bot
April 26th, 2011 at 9:03 am [Reply]

Ok, Contstance and Judge Parker up on the roof better involve either attempted murder or sex, because otherwise I’m gonna lose interest in this story very quickly.

Oh, who am I kidding? They could have a week of strips with Constance reading the phone book, and as long as she was wearing that dress, I’d still read the damned thing…

Mark B
April 26th, 2011 at 9:13 am [Reply]

MW: Good lord, everybody on the floor is getting the wrong meds because Liza is busy watching porn on her iPhone.

Mark B
April 26th, 2011 at 9:16 am [Reply]

@Mark B (#31): Either that or she’s searching imdb.com for more lines from 90s movies that she can use on her next date with Drew.

Chyron HR
April 26th, 2011 at 9:18 am [Reply]

DT – “Well, the story has holes in it, but God knows it was better than that one where the ringmaster shouted ‘IT HAPPENED’ for three weeks straight.”

Lio – Take THAT, unsuccessful movie! Next up: Heart of the City really sticks it to “Delgo”.

MW – “Your father had a fever, but we’ve managed to bring it down.” “What caused it?” “Angry Birds flu.”

JP – Maybe Constance is actually Theresa Delgado, the murdering set of boobs with a woman (probably) attached, and she’s out for revenge! Ha ha, nooooo, she just took da Judge up on the roof to talk about her womanly problems of girlitude or something. New storyline abruptly begins next Monday.

exapno
April 26th, 2011 at 9:19 am [Reply]

Luann Drum roll please……

Luann II Anyone notice what had to be Gunther’s mom looking up at him with unfettered adoration? Plus, with no apparent father nearby…ALMOST makes one want to feel sorry for the poor schnook….

Dood
April 26th, 2011 at 9:19 am [Reply]

In the plugger mob, is it common for warring factions to send the traditional message that one sleeps with the chickens?

Dood
April 26th, 2011 at 9:22 am [Reply]

Judge Parker: It’s clear that the beacons of Con-dor are lit. Will Hoboken send aid?

Jessy
April 26th, 2011 at 9:22 am [Reply]

MW: Okay, Liza may be catching up on a week’s worth of “Cute Overload” in the cafeteria, but what’s up with the nurse who is actually in the patient’s room? They don’t have charts in that hospital? And excuse me, but if you are standing over a patient’s bed with your stethoscope draped around your neck and your green scrubs on, I believe YOU are the nurse on duty, Sweetie.

Maggie the Cat
April 26th, 2011 at 9:28 am [Reply]

Not only is Liza letting a patient slip into the great unknown while playing Angry Birds, she’s also neglecting her lunch. Her stick of butter forlornly waits to be finished.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
April 26th, 2011 at 9:28 am [Reply]

This reminds me of a favorite Far Side.

Ferret!

sugar gliders.

Parrothead corgi.

Scott Bot
April 26th, 2011 at 9:34 am [Reply]

MW – Of course this nurse doesn’t have any information on this patient – it’s a little difficult to accurately diagnose a problem when the only equipment in your patient’s room is two IV stands and a cash register.

Chip
April 26th, 2011 at 9:35 am [Reply]

MW: “What caused his fever?” “I don’t know, let’s ask the nurse on duty” replies a nurse who is on duty.

pugfuggly
April 26th, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]

Pluggers confuse me. What exactly is receding/recessing? Isn’t his whole body covered with fur? Are his ears moving to the back of his head….?

MW: Silly Josh, this new plot isn’t about the evils of technology addiction. It’s a sprawling, multi-character sci-fi plot about an obsessed women who controls an army of android nurses remotely from her Iphone.

Drew can run, but he’ll never hide from the horrors of the …NURSES!… ON!… DUTY!!! /ba-ba-BWAAAAAAAAAAA/

MT: It’s becoming clear that Cherry doesn’t believe a word of Mark’s stories anymore.

“….so then I escaped the drug lords, flew home, and here I am!”
“Sure Mark. Was she pretty?”
“Uh…yes, I suppose so…Anyhow, Now I have to look for my lost friend in the mountains”
“Whatever. Just don’t get lost, like the last time you went on an ‘adventure’”

Momma: I think that on a list of horrible comic-strip themed porn flics I would never EVER want to see made, Momma would rank quite high. Not quite as harsh as the obese furry fetishists of Pluggers, or the the horrors of a septuagenarian diner orgy a la Crankshaft, but yeah, it’s up there….

Chip
April 26th, 2011 at 9:42 am [Reply]

DT: Let’s summarize:
Dick sneaks in to the warehouse and sees the imminent violence.
“No time for a warning shot!” he thinks.
THEN he yells “Drop the weapon!” At which time Fifth fires the thing at Lizz and is killed by the weapon malfunctioning and electrocuting him and his associate! All as Dick stands there and watches! Way to go, Dick! Now that the REAL Chief is back, we don’t need her anyway!

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
April 26th, 2011 at 9:48 am [Reply]

Parrothead Corgi, now with caption.

Esther Blodgett
April 26th, 2011 at 9:50 am [Reply]

OBH: Needs more Detorie in a low-cut dress.

FW: Someone is awfully proud of the half-day course in social media marketing he took last month, isn’t he?

MT: A drawing of a big, hairy beaver munching on a stick. A drawing of Cherry kissing Mark full on the mouth. One of these is smutty filth. Wait, I’m still trying to decide…

PBS: Pig totally has the right idea. (And since when is Rat the superego here?)

Doctor Handsome
April 26th, 2011 at 9:51 am [Reply]

Who gives a shit about this no-name gomer and his stupid fever when that crazy fucking nurse is releasing General Zod from the Phantom Zone?!

Scott Bot
April 26th, 2011 at 9:57 am [Reply]

Archie – Ok, Mrs. Andrews ain’t a Hot Hallway Chick, but she’ll definately do for now.

GT – Aunt Tracee wants you! (and where the hell did Kayla go?)

MT – Asking Mark not to get lost in the woods is a little like asking someone on Funky Winkerbean not to smirk.

Pluggers – Since this is a Plugger, maybe he’s worried about mange.

Mark B
April 26th, 2011 at 9:57 am [Reply]

@Chip (#43): Maybe it’s just me, but when the FBI statement said there were holes in the story, it sounded like Mike Curtis was admitting he didn’t really explain what happened. I’m still not clear on whether Tracy shot his gun or Thor’s Hammer malfunctioned on its own. One panel, two baddies gone*, and move on to the next story. We’ve gone from a writer who had nothing happen for months, to one where stuff flies past so quickly you don’t even know what happened. Are you a Plugger if you think the plot in Dick Tracy is moving too quickly?

*One of the other baddies was disposed of in the previous day’s offering.

Mark B
April 26th, 2011 at 9:58 am [Reply]

@Mark B (#48): And I really ought to use preview, but I’ll just let that one stand with the grammar errors and all.

Cranky
April 26th, 2011 at 10:09 am [Reply]

When did Momma start doing the Cathy “point and declare” thing?

Hairhead
April 26th, 2011 at 10:09 am [Reply]

Luann –

*headdesk*
*headdesk*
*headdesk*
*headdesk*

CRASH

*headfloor*
*headfloor*
*headfloor*
*headfloor*

Pseudo3D
April 26th, 2011 at 10:12 am [Reply]

I’m sure it’s been mentioned before, but Pencil Mustache Guy in Dick Tracy looks like how Lini would look in 15 years.

Tom Allen
April 26th, 2011 at 10:15 am [Reply]

“Thank goodness! What caused it?”

“Um. Angry Birds, apparently.”

UncleJeff
April 26th, 2011 at 10:15 am [Reply]

Love Is….: What is that thing those two are wearing — a freakishly large sweater or maybe a symbolic condom wrapper for the author’s message about ‘unprotected sex’ between two underage kids?

UncleJeff
April 26th, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]

We need Lizz to occasionally appear semi-naked because she is the new sexual interest in “Dick Tracy” (I mean, Tess Trueheart Tracy has got to be about 80 by now? BTW: have we seen Tess? We’ve seen Junior done by the new team.)

Effluvius Erratus
April 26th, 2011 at 10:25 am [Reply]

@Cranky (#50): Was Irving’s last name Hobbes?

Mark B
April 26th, 2011 at 10:26 am [Reply]

@UncleJeff (#55): Tess appeared in the very first day of Curtis and Stanton. Haven’t seen her since, as far as I know.

Jesse R
April 26th, 2011 at 10:26 am [Reply]

I’m hoping that Dr. Drew and Liza do start a relationship and that it involves lots of vigorous crazy-person start-of-relationship sex. Yes, it will be a bad idea, but it would be nice for Mary Worth to demonstrate the reality that while crazy clingy relationships may want to make a person drive off a cliff, such relationships can still make for one hell of a fun ride.

Radar
April 26th, 2011 at 10:27 am [Reply]

A fever, huh? Yes, Liza elicited a pyrogenic response by, um, neglecting her patient! Yeah! And, um, by, um, infecting him with, um, a technology virus! Yeah, that’s it! And that’s why you should never cheat on another woman’s husband.

Mibbitmaker
April 26th, 2011 at 10:27 am [Reply]

OBH: DETORIE! YOU, TOO?!! I might’ve expected this from McEldowney (or didn’t till fairly recently), but…..!!!!!!

Pluggers: Pluggers
One Big Happy: Plugging
9CL: (see above)

Bud
April 26th, 2011 at 10:28 am [Reply]

best Plugger post ever! That was beautiful!

Pseudo3D
April 26th, 2011 at 10:30 am [Reply]

Spider-Man – Look at how Mrs. Morbius is leaning over her, smirking. I’m hoping Mary Jane will wake up as a vampire the next time we see her.

9CL – Civil? After all what you’ve done, you demand civility?

Marvin – @nescio (#21): Hey, I didn’t see yesterday’s comic, and I thought he was being circumcised too. Or castrated.

@Chip (#43): Sort of. Here’s what happened.

April 21 – Flyface prepares to leave.
April 22 – BOOM! Tracy and Sam look in and find Flyface’s corpse lying on the ground. They sneak in.
April 23 – Tracy contacts Liz who is sitting nearby. Fifth and Ponytail Dude, having killed Flyface, attempt to do Liz in next. Tracy fires a shot at the duo.

April 24 – We all know the Sunday ones interrupt the flow of the previous story and often contradict details. The first blow with the “gun melting” is Flyface being incinerated. Fifth and Ponytail Dude “notice two guns at the door” and attempt to fire at THEM instead of Liz. Tracy bursts in and cries “Drop the Weapon!” to which Fifth says “I don’t think so”. This also contradicts details because on April 23, Tracy and Sam had already gone inside.

April 25 – The shot presumably fires at Thor’s Hammer, blowing it up. Notice (color comics only) Fifth’s blue hat coming out of the top of the explosion.

April 26 – Liz is alright and borrows Tracy’s trenchcoat. Sam comes out of his hiding place to examine the destruction.

April 27 – When telling the story to Pencil Thin Mustache Guy, Tracy leaves out a few details.

Mibbitmaker
April 26th, 2011 at 10:34 am [Reply]

Momma: OMILORD!! MOTHER HOBBS!! Man, even Lucille Bluth wouldn’t do THAT!
….Would she?

9CL: Solange should leave these idiots and start her own strip. Meanwhile, 9CL can change its name to The Unlikables, in honor of the ENTIRE CAST!

Blondie: Bad lesson: Surliness works!

TheDiva
April 26th, 2011 at 10:36 am [Reply]

DT: I’m not sure how I feel about this new efficient Dick Tracy. I mean sure, the bad guys were dispatched with quickly and effectively, but where’s the comfort of the endlessly repeated dialogue? The simple yet loving rendition of a stubby baby hand improbably clutching a gun? Where’s the love?

Momma: Oh God, she’s the mother from Love You Forever! That REALLY makes that book creepy!

MW: Until and unless it is revealed that Liza is taking more than her allotted share of break time, I don’t see what the problem is. If she wants to spend her free time noshing on a sponge and searching IMDb for more quotes to seduce Dr. Drew with, that’s her decision.

Pluggers wonder how they can blame the guv’mint for their male pattern baldness.

FW: The residents of Funkytown no longer recognize humor when they hear it. Which is okay because they’ve forgotten how to tell jokes as well.

Luann: Thank you, Knute.

Mibbitmaker
April 26th, 2011 at 10:40 am [Reply]

Marvin: (noting above comments) Home circumcision kit.

Luann: The end is off to a bad start.

MT: ‘Operation: How Dare He Find Peace And Quiet In Nature’ is a go…

Mark B
April 26th, 2011 at 10:42 am [Reply]

@Pseudo3D (#62): Well, presumably, on April 23 he fires a gun, but we never see the gun go off and neither is there a sound effect [bang! or whatnot]. On April 25, he cries out a warning, which led me to believe he hadn’t actually fired yet, yet Thor’s Hammer blows up. This is leaving aside the confusing action in the Sunday strip which contradicted several details on Saturday and Monday. I think the art is terriffic, and I like each day’s strip immensely, but the story arc seems to be confusing and contradictory. Maybe I’m expecting too much. Stilll a big upgrade over the Locher era.

Mustang
April 26th, 2011 at 10:43 am [Reply]

MW – Josh, my office mate just got one of the newish bargain-priced Kindles. It’s about that size. As a matter of fact, I’d be very surprised if Liza ISN’T reading Cosmoesque “How to drive your man wild in bed” articles pretty much 24-7.

jayjaybear
April 26th, 2011 at 10:51 am [Reply]

@Effluvius Erratus (#12):

>Archie: Was Archie’s mom always so hot, or is it the new artist?

I wondered that, too. I seem to remember her being quite a bit more matronly.

The Ghost of Jarrod
April 26th, 2011 at 10:53 am [Reply]

@TheDiva (#64):

Oh, come now. There are great jokes in Westview! Like this one:

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Cancer.

Or this one!

A priest, a rabbi, and the Dalai Lama walk into the bar. They all get cancer and die. The end.

Or this one!

Remember that time they told Lisa she didn’t have breast cancer, but she actually did?

See? Hilarious!

Gloom Raider
April 26th, 2011 at 10:56 am [Reply]

A3G: I guess it had to happen: Tommie seems to be the only roommate who hasn’t had a significant other die horribly in the past few years. I look forward to Rick romancing her, then accidentally plunging off a skyscraper on their second date.

Phred22
April 26th, 2011 at 10:59 am [Reply]

JP: Months ago we saw Randy with what looked like Chekhov’s Gun (Once introduced, the audience will be disappointed if said gun isn’t used). Since then we have been disappointed. Now Constance and the Judge are approaching what looks like Chekhov’s Roof Ledge. If one of these two doesn’t wind up either falling to their death or at least dangling from the drainpipe in the next three weeks, I will feel frustrated. Especially if we go back to Sophie and her high school crush.

Mibbitmaker
April 26th, 2011 at 10:59 am [Reply]

MW: The War on Technology never ends!!!

Phantom: “…that way, we can contrive a return of the scoundrel if a storyline needs it. It’s called “a cheat” in the Bandar tongue.”

Popeye: …..copyright reasons……

Ed Lee: Stop being clever!
– What am I saying?!!

Chip Whittle
April 26th, 2011 at 11:05 am [Reply]

Apartment 3-G: “I fell down the stairs, Dan, and spent the evening in the emergency room.” “Are you okay, Rick?” “Yeah! I was texting this nurse at the time, and she was just…so…so…bland!” “You think you’ve seen bland? There’s someone I want you to meet.”

Baby Blues: I haven’t read it yet today, but I’m assuming this is the same dialogue as in Over The Hedge.

Beetle Bailey: Sarge reacts to the breakup with desperate flings but finds it just doesn’t work. When are he and Beetle getting back together, anyway?

Dick Tracy: I’m just glad that Zombie Lee Falk accepts whatever the resolution of that story was, even if he’s way out of his proper outfit.

Dennis the Menace: He’s not menacing so much for being muddy as by pouring the mud on his head suggesting that he has some motor control disorder. He’s scaring Margaret into thinking there’s lead chips around.

Edge City: “Are you doing anything to promote yourself? Like, what if you made an agonizing session of strained YouTube videos and then somehow accidentally uploaded one of you goofing around in place of the one you already uploaded and got kajillions of clients pouring out of the woodwork? Have you tried that?”

Gasoline Alley: Oh, now, if this weren’t sad enough trying to grab onto the imaginary wave of Green Hornet fandom four months after anyone might possibly care just propels this into Plugger territory.

Artist formerly known as Ben
April 26th, 2011 at 11:05 am [Reply]

Pluggers: Have mange.

DT: I’m still having trouble processing a Tracy storyline that moves so quickly and doesn’t last for several months. Maybe there’s another twist coming where it was all a plot by Jim, who’s actually Walt Disney’s evil clone. But Locher never needed “twists” or “interesting things happening” to pad it out.

MW: Somehow it looks like Moy is going to put Drew in the middle, so that he has to choose between doing the right thing and protecting his girl. Of course both the job and Liza are time-killing hobbies, but he’ll have to at least pretend to be horribly conflicted.

Momma: Momma takes a proactive stance in encouraging grandchildren. “Enough foreplay! Get to the fucking!”

Ziggy: Rejected by a Tea Party newsletter for being too blatant.

WofI: I’m just noticing now that Bung is shorter than all the other characters except the king. The makers of the strip are to be congratulated for this touch of realism, as court jesters often had dwarfism. Of course I’m giving kudos to a decision that was made half a century ago, but you take what you can get.

BB: Oooh, burn! Of course if I were Sarge I’d probably drop one of those bricks I was carrying on Peachfuzz’s foot.

FW: This is going to work beautifully. “Hey hon, the Montoni’s website detected malicious software on our computer. But don’t worry, it’s downloading something to remove it.”

Popeye: “I has becomes death, deskroyer of worlds.”

PBS: Pig in a blanket? That can’t be kosher.

Phantom: “Or until we need him for a sequel. Whichever comes first.”

OBH: Come on, Detorie. You’re not McEldowney. You’re better than this.

GT: “Because you’re…”
“Exactly. I’m a Catholic. You’re Presbyterian. It would never work out.”

6C: Shouldn’t have read Mary Worth before bedtime.

S-M: “Heehee, where did I put my lipstick? I have an urge to draw a dick on someone’s forehead.”

BC: This one goes out to all you would-be statutory rapists out there. The good people of BC understand.

Artist formerly known as Ben
April 26th, 2011 at 11:08 am [Reply]

A3G So Tommie’s new love interest is a domestic violence victim? Good luck introducing him to Margo.

RobGlass217
April 26th, 2011 at 11:09 am [Reply]

Maybe when the police inevitably track down Liza for criminal negligence and she goes on the run, they’ll find her via her Foursquare check-ins.

Effluvius Erratus
April 26th, 2011 at 11:18 am [Reply]

A3G: I don’t see any casts, crutches, bumps or bruises, so I’m going to assume Rick was concussed. Are we sure he’s not supposed to be Lu Ann’s love interest?

Oh, and Gloom Raider (#70), I think you’re right, except that it’s Dan Diller who’s gonna romance her and suffer a fatal heart attack in medias coitum, pinning Tommie atop Aunt Iris’s grand piano for 16 hours.

pugfuggly
April 26th, 2011 at 11:18 am [Reply]

@The Ghost of Jarrod (#69):

Why is a raven like a writing desk?
They are both harbingers of cancer.

What’s black and white and red all over?
The malignant tumor that’s threatening your life.

Who’s on first?
Non-one, both teams had to cancel on account of cancer-related deaths.

…so the talent agent stops him and says “That’s absolutely disgusting! What do you call an act like that??”
The man replies : “The aristo..” and then falls over dead from cancer of the lungs, liver and eye…

jayjaybear
April 26th, 2011 at 11:20 am [Reply]

@RobGlass217 (#76): She’s the Mayor of the Bum Boat!

pugfuggly
April 26th, 2011 at 11:23 am [Reply]

@Effluvius Erratus (#77):

I think you’re right, except that it’s Dan Diller who’s gonna romance her and suffer a fatal heart attack in medias coitum, pinning Tommie atop Aunt Iris’s grand piano for 16 hours.

And with that sentence, A3G just made my list…

Mibbitmaker
April 26th, 2011 at 11:24 am [Reply]

JP: This leads to two theories:

1) Constance is Jackie Thornton, the “death” was a hoax, and she’s about to seduce the married ex-judge to the beautiful scenery

~or~

2) Constance killed Jackie, and is about to dump the ex-judge off the ledge, Constance being a serial killer.

2a) Bonus points if she also tries to kill Veronica Mars’s dad on an airplane by remote control (unsuccessfully, of course).

Alan's Addiction
April 26th, 2011 at 11:26 am [Reply]

That’s only half of the truth in today’s “Pluggers;” the rest of it should read, “Despite this, pluggers never give up the hope that a permanent, effective solution exists for baldness (or “recession,” as it’s euphemized by those too embarrassed to say it in the store); this makes them prey to all sorts of ludicrous baldness cures, ranging from Rogaine and bad toupees to hair plugs.”
I’m absolutely puzzled by Dick Tracy’s response, “That’s the polite way of putting it.” Is there a less euphemistic way to say that two incompetent criminals got killed via electrocution while attempting to commit a crime than the one used by Monsieur Forehead? “Those bastards died writhing in excruciating pain, the smell of burnt flesh wafting over the place, as the electrical discharge from their ridiculous gun literally cooked their internal organs while they were still alive. Sleep well, kiddies!” That’s the only less-polite and less-euphemistic way of describing events, and even I don’t think that’s appropriate for the comics page.
All right, I’ve gone from “mildly amused” to “vaguely upset” to “simply offended” by the consistent, blatant, and ridiculous technophobia that’s become the hallmark of “Mary Worth.” I could understand it if these fears were voiced as a fear of early adoption leading to problems with technology, or if they followed the theme that technology is unreliable and expensive (all of which are somewhat valid concerns). No; instead the unending message is, “Technology – any type of newfangled technology that us over-90’s read about in the papers – is pure evil. And so are the people who use it.” Well, I’ve had enough, and I’m ready for the ultimate anti-technology storyline. Unplug all the patients from their machines at the hospital, Mary. Give up your heart medications that keep your cold, loveless corpse from the sweet embrace of the grave. If the Amish, and their frightening new plows, hammers, and nails are too recent, you (and the other Santa Royale residents) can move out to the woods of Montana to enjoy an absolutely technology-free life style, including an average lifespan of 25-40.
Did you ever have a nightmare where your mother called out advice while you were having sex? No? Well, you will now, thanks to “Momma.” Of course, you may never have a normal, healthy sex life again thanks to today’s “Momma,” but that is the risk you take for reading a strip based entirely on unresolved Oedipal issues.

Scott Bot
April 26th, 2011 at 11:27 am [Reply]

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#74): FW: This is going to work beautifully. “Hey hon, the Montoni’s website detected malicious software on our computer. But don’t worry, it’s downloading something to remove it.”

Internet cancer?

@Mibbitmaker (#81):

Your forgot theory number three – Constance is Miss Scarlet, and she’s going to kill him in the conservatory with the candlestick. It would explain the red dress.

Mibbitmaker
April 26th, 2011 at 11:27 am [Reply]

@The Ghost of Jarrod (#69):

“Omigod, your loving mate for 20 years of happy marriage just died from cancer!”

“That’s what she said!”

Chip Whittle
April 26th, 2011 at 11:29 am [Reply]

Hazel does not believe Public Domain Cartoon Nancy understands how to eat. This suggests a problem with PDC Nancy’s upbringing.

Henry wants a gal who likes him for his enormous anatomical deformities.

Love Is… sheltering from the winter snows of the last week of April. On the other hand, at least they’re wearing clothes, incompetently.

Mark Trail: “Just don’t get lost in the woods like you did in the ocean!” Man, I needed a couple seconds to parse that; you can smell the vacuum tubes burning out under Mark’s hair already.

And look at how cute Mark Trail is, trying to smile. Well, not cute. More, hideous. But I suppose it does prove that Rusty really is Mark’s child.

Mary Worth: I’ve lost track. Is this still the current “INTERNET==EVIL!” story, or is it still the last “INTERNET==EVIL!” story, or is it the three “INTERNET==EVIL!” stories before that? We can’t be on the next “INTERNET==EVIL!” story already, can we? Is it maybe the “INTERNET==EVIL!” story two after that?

The Phantom: “Chatu is the SHAME of the Wambesi nation! And as you can see from our wardrobes, it takes a lot to shame us!”

Rex Morgan: I don’t know how, but I think they’re about to accidentally kidnap Cue.

Doctor Handsome
April 26th, 2011 at 11:32 am [Reply]

I don’t really see Plugger McDogabomination’s hairline receding. Unless he just has those couple of Homer-hairs on the top of his head, and the rest of his mutant dogface mug is hairless, which is somehow even grosser. I’m glad this isn’t in color, is I guess what I’m saying.

Mibbitmaker
April 26th, 2011 at 11:35 am [Reply]

@The Ghost of Jarrod (#69):

Doctor: “I’m afraid I have some bad news… we botched the information… you have deadly cancer after all.”

Skeletal structure model: “In your pants!”

boojum
April 26th, 2011 at 11:35 am [Reply]

@The Ghost of Jarrod (#69): Why did the chicken cross the road?

It didn’t. Attempting to flee cancer, it was run over by a mobile oncology suite.

Frank Lee Meidere
April 26th, 2011 at 11:37 am [Reply]

Pluggers: Oh! It’s about receding hairlines! I read the Pluggers today and interpreted it in the way Josh describes. “What the hell?” I thought. “Isn’t this getting a bit depressing, even for a strip about old, fat, ignorant, sub-humans?”

Heh heh. Receding hairline. Recession. Boy, that seems almost cheerful, now.

Walker of Dog
April 26th, 2011 at 11:37 am [Reply]

@Jessy (#37) & @Chip (#41): She’s not the nurse; she’s a wacky doctor. That’s right – the touring company of Patch Adams: The Musical has come to Santa Royale. Hundreds will be killed… with laughs! (And some malpractice.)

boojum
April 26th, 2011 at 11:37 am [Reply]

@The Ghost of Jarrod (#69): How many Westview patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

No one knows. They all die from cancer while climbing the ladder.

Frank Lee Meidere
April 26th, 2011 at 11:50 am [Reply]

@Mibbitmaker (#60): Okay, what’s “OBH”? Sometimes it’s One Big Happy, but in your post you mention both OBH and One Big Happy. I just can’t think of another comic that fits those initials.

Not Just Any Dipstick
April 26th, 2011 at 11:58 am [Reply]

MT: What is that brown stuff Cherry is pouring? Looks like the dog had diarrhea and Cherry is bent on filling Mark with more of what he is made of.

Effluvius Erratus
April 26th, 2011 at 11:59 am [Reply]

@Frank Lee Meidere (#89): I dunno. If Dogman McPlugger has untreated sacroptic mange (TRIGGER WARNING: LINK CONTAINS IMAGES OF DOGS WITH MANGE. NOT SUITABLE FOR QUEEKS) and can’t afford medical veterinary care, it just adds to the sad.

bats :[
April 26th, 2011 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

Yes, how worse can a recession be?

Scott Bot
April 26th, 2011 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

@The Ghost of Jarrod (#69):
I’m Funky the Pizza Man
And I don’t get this business plan
I don’t know the answer
Because I have brain cancer
I’m Funky the Pizza Man.

Ok, I know that was dumb, but it’s the best I could come up with on only two cups of coffee.

Walker of Dog
April 26th, 2011 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

Phan: The Wambesi chief is not impressed: “Thanks for the lecture, whitey. Now shove off – we’re going to start throwing peanuts at Chatu, and you’re not invited.”
– Meanwhile, Chatu has been given the gift of time. Finally, he can start building up his lats.

S-M: The crown molding, combined with the black ceiling, really opens up the room.

JP: The Judge feels so liberated, letting his tie flap freely in the evening breeze. So many tall buildings…

DT: I’m gonna kill you, Tracy? Hee hee?

Mom: Momma has three nostrils and is flipping off her daughter-in-law, who is infested with head lice, and her son, who is covered in smallpox pustules. Super.

pugfuggly
April 26th, 2011 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#95):

Fun fact: if you google ‘Mary Worth’, the second link that comes up is the wikipedia entry for ‘Bloody Mary’ (i.e. the one that appears in the mirror if you say her name three times). Why? I’m going to assume it’s because MW is actually an immortal spirit that haunts her apartment complex…

Baron Bizarre
April 26th, 2011 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

Judge Parker: Whoa, Ropponmatsu-in-disguise is about to fire her chest missiles! Is “Seedy Theater” the newest headquarters of F City’s Department of City Security?

Anonymous
April 26th, 2011 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

Dick Tracy – Does panel 1 take place in a bathroom, cuz I’m pretty sure ol’ Dick is working on a big crap there…

bbofun
April 26th, 2011 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

Judge Parker- Obviously, we all would love it if this were to turn into a “Constance tries to kill/seduce the Judge” story. but it won’t. Here’s what’s happening.

If you go to a roof in New York, it’s a law of comedy that the door to the roof will lock behind you, trapping you there. Expect some “Why’d you let the door close?’ ‘Why didn’t you tell me it would lock?”, etc. and then some yelling from the roof (which, it being in New York, no one will hear/will care), and then an attempt to climb down. Somehow, at the end of all this (about two months from now) they’ll be safe on the ground, and Sam will ask “How was the show?” and the judge will say “It was the most interesting night I’ve ever spent at the theater!”.

Apt. 3G- If this is a “gay bar” (or “gay tavern”), as I suspect, it would give a whole different meaning to “monster Reuben”. (I was also going to make a “beard” joke, but I’ll quit while I’m ahead.)

A different JD
April 26th, 2011 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

Re. Judge Parker — I’m all in favor of gratuitously protruding teen boobs (what in the world of anime they call “fan service”), but I draw the line at accepting a breeze that simultaneously blows the judge’s tie forward while blowing Connie’s hair backwards.

Uncle Lumpy
April 26th, 2011 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

CHATU is the SHAME of the Wambesi nation!
The Internet is the CHATU of Mary Worth!
NEXT: Mary battles Stuxnet for the future of the WORLD!

Go, Stuxnet!

gnome de blog
April 26th, 2011 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

@True Fable (#y162) et seq.; @KarMann (#y172):
What if it’s Angel (Delgado?) driving the train and Constance is his moll? The two of them have spun an elaborate plot for some unknown purpose (revenge?). I like the idea that Jackie the Terminator never existed and they used Cheatham House to lure Sam and the Judge to New York.

I won’t go quite so far as to say Judge Parker is my all-time favorite strip but it’s the best thing going now, except Cul de Sac. It’s even passed up Prince Valiant. If Woody hasn’t won a Reuben yet he sure as hell deserves one. I won’t try to surpass Truman’s rant on Woody’s merits, but I will add that nobody has better guest stars and incidental characters, Cedric the Butler being only one of the more memorable examples. I mean, who gave us Cue, and Skanky Skankington, and Agnes Dunsmore? And that was in Rex Morgan, his lesser creation. Judge Parker may not match Cul de Sac’s frequent brilliance, but no strip is more consistently entertaining, even when nothing happens. No strip has better, loopier and off-the-wall characters. And I haven’t even brought up the pulchritude factor.

Scott Bot
April 26th, 2011 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

@A different JD (#102): I’m thinking that the judge’s ‘tie’ is pretty excited about the whole situation. If you know what I mean.

commodorejohn
April 26th, 2011 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

6Chix – “What a nightmare! I dreamed that I was using an inane, broken-as-designed messenger service because it was trendy and I get a buzz off the idea of inflicting my brain farts on the general public!”

A3G – “I’m fine, just clumsy as usual. This brief facial palsy is mere coincidence.”

A&J – THANK YOU, Arlo. My hero.

Curtis – God, Barry is a little shit. There’s just nothing redeeming about him at all. Oh well, I guess I can fantasize about him actually having been crushed to a bloody pulp by that car…

DT – So Josh already made the obvious joke, and all I can say is: yeah, pretty much. This might just be official confirmation of what we’d suspected all along. (I do like the subtext of “tit-for-tat amongst law enforcement agencies re: not being up-front with each other,” though.)

FC – Whoa, suddenly halftone! (And it says a lot about The Family Circus that this is quite literally the only thing worthy of note about today’s.)

GT – Sentence you would never, ever hear outside of Gil Thorp: “Yo, Lini. Jeff Karoub sitting with Al-Jo Ames?”

H&L – What the hell is wrong with Minneapolis? At least it’s not St. Paul.

JP – “I’M QUEEN OF THE WORLD!”

Liō – Yeah, pretty much.

Luann – FUCK. YOU.

MT – “Ha! Ha! But seriously, I am going to be gone for weeks and weeks!”

MW – Oh. My. God.

Momma – ohgodohgodohgodohgod MAKE IT STOP

OBH – Just so long as you don’t spend three weeks plugging it like Brooke McE’s Grandma Was A Nazi-Boffer.

Phantom – It’s the nation’s first Chatu preserve! The local conservationists must be so proud!

SM – Just then, Peter…rolls over and tries to get a little more comfortable. A brief tingle passes up his spine, but eh, who cares.

Ziggy – Ziggy makes the leap to being straight-up insane. It’s kind of a relief, actually.

Écureuil Écumant
April 26th, 2011 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

DT: Wait, what?! They bring back these long-presumed-dead villains only to … kill ‘em again in a week? Flyface, we hardly knew ye.

Frank Lee Meidere
April 26th, 2011 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

What’s “OBH”? What book plugging? The only OBH I know is One Big Happy, and they’re just standing on a doorstep talking about retail therapy. There’s a comic out there I’m missing and I don’t know what it is!

(Huh. And to think that before finding Josh’s site I only scanned the comics in a perfunctory and uninvolved way.)

Mark B
April 26th, 2011 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

MT: Isn’t the last panel the same ‘Mark and Cherry awkwardly grapple’ drawing we’ve seen multiple times in the last month? Is there no other available art which shows their faces touching?

Fahion Police
April 26th, 2011 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

In spite of his tacky sense of style, one just has to like Master Bellini. We would be thrilled beyond belief if he could spend an hour or talking some sense into .Miss Sophie Spencer.

Bill Peschel
April 26th, 2011 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

@Johnnycakes (#18): Whoa, you ain’t kidding. Some of his paintings at

http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/edward-van-wicklen-sr.html

look like Thomas Kincaide by way of Bob Ross.

But as a Patrick O’Brien fan, this painting of the “Schooner” has me regretting that keel-hauling was abolished.

http://fineartamerica.com/featured/the-schooner-edward-c-van-wicklen-sr.html

Vince M
April 26th, 2011 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

@jayjaybear (#68): Yeah, think middle-class Margaret Dumont with white hair. Or Mary Worth without the soul-sucking meddle.

Anansi
April 26th, 2011 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#106):

Did you know that Barry is actually mentioned in The Scrappy page for TVtropes??

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TheScrappy/OtherMedia

Tophat
April 26th, 2011 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

The fact that the window in momma is that close to the ground is kinda disturbing. Either her son likes to start each day by shouting “HELLO WORLD HERE IS MY JUNK” or the window has been placed there specifically so Momma can do what she’s doing now, which is trying to make her son’s sex life to be about her. I’m not sure which option is more disturbing, but all the same I don’t think I’m calling my mom on Mother’s Day this year.

Fahion Police
April 26th, 2011 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

Miss Iris Thompson seems to have found a niche as Manhattan’s resident matchmaker, although her methods are rather circuitous. No doubt this bland Rick fellow will end up in Miss Abigail Thompson’s thrall while she becomes the Michael Patterson of Tin Pan Alley. In turn she will be absolutely smitten by his parade of pastel suits – peach, apricot, a soft lime. Such a deliciously fruity summer!

commodorejohn
April 26th, 2011 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

@Anansi (#113): AS. HE. OUGHT. TO. BE.

Frank Lee Meidere
April 26th, 2011 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft: Okay, I take it we’re supposed to believe that Crank really did take into consideration the curvature of the earth, because otherwise he’d be making mild fun of himself, and we all know that’s not going to happen.

So what did he do? How did he do it? What kind of measuring instruments does he have? And what difference does it make? If the lines are the same distance apart all along their length, then they’re parallel. What consideration would curvature have to do with it?

Now if he’d made a grid and was claiming that all the angles were 90 degrees, then this might make sense. And by “sense,” of course, I mean “is still incredibly stupid but has some minuscule relevance to the situation.”

Effluvius Erratus
April 26th, 2011 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

@Mark B (#109): I believe Mark refuses to sit for any more “icky cootie face kissy drawings” for Jack Eldrod.

MW: Is Mary going to meddle Nurse Liza by way of Dr. Drew by way of Dr. Jeff? I always assumed Mary’s EMR (effective meddle range) didn’t extend beyond two degrees of separation. Did she level up recently? Is Moy factoring in the -15% NPC reaction penalty for her CHA?

Walker of Dog
April 26th, 2011 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

@Tophat (#114): The bedroom is actually on the second floor. Momma brought a custom-built extension ladder. It has 120 closely-spaced rungs to accomodate her finger-length legs.

Artist formerly known as Ben
April 26th, 2011 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#106):
SM – Just then, Peter…rolls over and tries to get a little more comfortable. A brief tingle passes up his spine, but eh, who cares.

It would stand to reason that Peter’s spider sense has a snooze button.

Shrug
April 26th, 2011 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

@UncleJeff (#55):

“(I mean, Tess Trueheart Tracy has got to be about 80 by now?”

She was of courting age when DICK TRACY began in 1931, so she (and Dick) should be about 100 now, actually. And they’ve been married for a bit over 62 years.

Artist formerly known as Ben
April 26th, 2011 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

@Anansi (#113): I suspect that there’s a broad overlap between Curminions and Tropers. (Not to mention that this site itself has a page on the TVTropes site.) So don’t be too surprised if you see our observations over there. See also “Beetle Bailey” + “Ho Yay.”

Baka Gaijin
April 26th, 2011 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

Momma: OH MY GOD in HEAVENS ABOVE AND ALL THAT’S GOOD AND TRUE IN THE WORLD! HOW COULD HE create SUCH AN ABOMINATION! Send in the clowns. SEND IN THE CLOWNS, i SAY! STAT!

bats :[
April 26th, 2011 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

@gnome de blog (#104): RMMD is Woody’s lesser creation?!? REX MORGAN, M.D.?!?!? Fie, sir! Fie!

boojum
April 26th, 2011 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

@Bill Peschel (#111): Now, now. To be fair to Edward Van Wicklen, Sr.’s art — you really can’t see the numbers, mostly.

Baka Gaijin
April 26th, 2011 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

Disturbing Interpretations Theater

Spiderman: It happened so slowly that Spiderman turned into a Penthouse letter.
“Dear Penthouse: My girlfriend went to my nemesis’ house to settle his hash because she’s so much more butch than me. Instead, his girlfriend slipped her a roofie and then….”

Sally Forth: You should have seen some of the stuff on Jackie that went into Ralph’s mouth.

Rose is Rose: Looking at her caboose, Momma Rose ate a plugger or two. It looks like Rhinoman and Big Giant Dogman fighting under that polka-dotted tent of a dress when she walks.

Momma: What the fuck? Who in his right mind would think that having a mother not even surreptitiously peeping through the bedroom window on her grown son and daughter-in-law in late foreplay and imminent humping IS A SUITABLE TOPIC FOR THE COMICS PAGE!

Baka Gaijin
April 26th, 2011 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

Luann: Please choose the best answer for the following multiple choice question.
Panel 2’s missing sound effect is
A. “Gasp!”
B. “OMG!”
C. “Squeeeeeeeeeee!”
D. “Braaaap!” followed quickly by “Who stepped on a duck?”

Calico
April 26th, 2011 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

Damn, The Fifth died? I was kinda liking him, with his eyes never shown under his Fedora, and his cigars and racing forms.
(I’ve been out of town on biz/new database training so am just catching up on the “funnies”).
The other DT character I liked was Queen of Diamonds-I can almost “picture” the way she speaks. Or spoke. Until she, too, died a horrible death.
Does this make me a bad person? : P

T. Chicana
April 26th, 2011 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

I was reading to my Little Toddler Chicana last night before bed. She got a Mercer Mayer book (the guy that did books on little monsters or something) and all of a sudden, I was like, “These animals look like…PLUGGERS!” It was a horrifying moment in the most tranquil setting of my day!

Shrug
April 26th, 2011 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

@Gloom Raider (#70):

“I look forward to Rick romancing her, then accidentally plunging off a skyscraper on their second date.”

If he’d just hurried up, he might have been able to share a skyscraper plunge with Judge Parker.

“Have you vertigo?”

“Nah, only about six more floors…”

Baka Gaijin
April 26th, 2011 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

Apartment 3-G: I know I’m the hundredth person to say this. It doesn’t take a Mary Worth to see these two crazy kids are made for each other. He’s a klutz, she’s a nurse. Put ‘em together and you have maybe three-eighths of a personality.

Pluggers: You think your “recession” is bad? Wait till you look down and see that massive “inflation” hanging over your belt.

Zits: Parents eating their young? Walt’s talking like a Plugger now.

Garfield: Karma’s a bitch, kitty cat.

Chip Whittle
April 26th, 2011 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

The Dinette Set: “Hey Mr. Penny…the squirrel is digging up your grass! Or…maybe it’s some kind of water buffalo carved of tumbleweeds? I mean, how can you not draw a squirrel?”

Fat Cats: Ah, 1999, a simpler time when listening to “heavy metal” marked someone as irredeemably naughty.

Freshly Squeezed savors the irony of the person who doesn’t want a lawn soaked by poisons into monocultural blight…finding the lawn not soaked by poisons actually has more than one species of plant on it.

Lola has noticed nobody’s reading it so it may as well feature Marvin-scale body odor.

Luann: I like to believe they gave Gunther a “creative costume award” so he’d hop up and be a more memorable target for the audience’s stoning.

Gold-Digging Nanny
April 26th, 2011 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

I knew Momma was into incest. I just didn’t know she was into voyeurism, too.

Little Guy
April 26th, 2011 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

@Charlie the Bursted Carbunkle (#y202): The Wrist-Gee-Nee was on her person. In a very feminine place. And we’ll just leave it at that.

@True Fable (#y167): As much as I would abuse the openness for a constant demand of Abbeyliciousness, I would be thrilled if the Sophie storyline veers far away from hoseophonic pastures. Imagine: a lead character whose sh*t actually smells and people call him/her on it.

RMMD: Plot not ended? My God, the strip is collapsing upon itself! BRRRRRAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN!!!

Candorville: *sigh* I miss the halcyon days of fandom meme dropping.

Curtis: For good or for ill, at least Billingsley has me intrigued, and I’m subscribed to his newsletter for now.

AndyL
April 26th, 2011 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

It sure was nice of Francis to lower the bedroom window so his Momma could peep in on him while he’s having sex. Most men wouldn’t do that for their mother.

commodorejohn
April 26th, 2011 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

@T. Chicana (#129): Mayer also did the illustrations for the Great Brain books, which were terrific.

AndyL
April 26th, 2011 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

If only Liza had put down her fancy new smart-phone and properly re-calibrated the medical typewriter on the table next to the patient, none of this would have happened!

Effluvius Erratus
April 26th, 2011 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#123): I tried to humor you by superimposing an image of John Wayne Gacy into the window, but my feeble photoshop skills in my feeble Paint program thwarted me.

Charterstoned
April 26th, 2011 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

Sing to the tune of “Let’s Go Fly a Kite”

Mary Worth:

You should not be a web browsing pawn,
You can rise above Liza and Dawn!
At your desk or in bed
You don’t have to be led
To an internet site–
You can go fly a kite!

Oh, oh, oh!
Let’s go fly a kite
Then things will be all right
Let’s go fly a kite, it’s therapeutic:
“Up yours!” will turn to “WHEE!”
Outdoors, just you and me
Why don’t you fly a kite!

Wilbur and Drew:

When you turn off your laptop and phone
Though at first you’ll feel lost and alone
Your relationships heal
With your kite string and reel
And your patients feel right
When you go fly a kite.

Charterstone residents:

Oh, oh, oh!
Let’s go fly a kite
Up to the highest height
Like on that fateful night when Aldo bought it
Up to the precipice
Where Death bestowed a kiss
Let’s all go fly a kite!

Gold-Digging Nanny
April 26th, 2011 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

@Gold-Digging Nanny (#133): For those new to Momma and puzzled by my incest reference, click here. Or don’t. Spare yourself.

Shrug
April 26th, 2011 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

@Renee J (#5):

“Maybe Momma’s on a ladder, which makes it extra creepy.”

Hey, Momma, Judge Parker and Constance called. They need their ladder back.

Baka Gaijin
April 26th, 2011 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

Dennis the Menace: Don’t worry, Dennis. Keep playing in mud like that and you’ll be a Plugger when you grow up.

Dilbert: It took two readings of the first panel to get all the nuances. Good one, Scott!

SPECIAL TO CES: I Could Pee on This! You’ve been on a roll with Sally and your own blog and its linked sites (Smoosh, Hollywood). Good on ya!

Baka Gaijin
April 26th, 2011 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

@Effluvius Erratus (#138): Oh thank you! That’s the trick.

bats :[
April 26th, 2011 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

“Wow. You KISS like a squid!”
“Oh, I’m sorry…”
“NO! I mean THAT in a good WAY!”

(since there’s been a little lull in the action…such as it is…)

Rocky Stoneaxe
April 26th, 2011 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#11):

4-26 More Weird Sound Effects:

Yenny — CLICK
Ollie & Quentin — BONK

Henry —

http://www.jsonline.com/comics/32402404.html?feature_id=Henry

Bonus Sound Effects from Cannon story by Wally Wood & Steve Ditko (1969):

http://www.entrecomics.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/cannon.jpg

Baka Gaijin
April 26th, 2011 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

Momma: Erase those word balloons and this turns into one of those vaguely unsettling psychological test pictures where one has to describe what one sees. Where if one see a fawn taking a bath with his mother lovingly looking on, one’s normal. If one sees a bad mommy getting ready to jam a enema nozzle up the innocent fawn’s ass then one runs crying out the room, one has issues with a hysterical mother or an unhealthy intake of cheese.

The correct psychological response for normal people seeing today’s Momma is to flee, wailing and screeching, while digging one’s eyeballs out with any handy implement. Sitting calmly is a sign of psychological disorder unless one is surrounded by various bodily fluids and secretions seeping out of every orifice as one’s life force realizes life is no longer worth living and releases itself from one’s body.

Chip Whittle
April 26th, 2011 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

Ballard Street: Why the thick black border? Did President Grant just die?

Compu-Toon: Yeah, because the Internet is a perfectly accessible place except if you have impaired sight, hearing, or motor control.

Herb and Jamaal: Apparently, Jamaal eases his feelings of loneliness with complicated yet pleasurable spaghetti-based games.

Imagine This: “Spring break, baby! Because Spring Break is usually the week right before final exams!”

Lio: Ha, ha, Lio! Way to show…uh…somebody…some point… What’s going on when I understand the gag Compu-Toon is trying to make but don’t get Lio’s?

Baka Gaijin
April 26th, 2011 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

Waaaaah! Where’s that grapefruit spoon? QLUNQ!

Comcis Fan
April 26th, 2011 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

MW: The nurse on duty? Would that be the blonde woman downloading the Fredericks of Hollywood app on her smartphone? I was wondering why she neglected to clean Dad’s wound, thought maybe they were out of gauze. Is Frederick’s a gauze supplier?

cheech wizard
April 26th, 2011 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

SF – Wow, this is a tough one. The only difference I can see is that instead of a ring in panel 2, he’s offering her a condom. And everyone seems really excited about safe sex.

cheech wizard
April 26th, 2011 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

Luann – Everyone gets a trophy, Gunther – just like in Pee Wee soccer. Now go sit down so we can crown Miss Anonymous Hispanic Girl, then give Luann her special award for Miss Selfless Good Person that we all know this is leading toward so we go home and forget about this whole thing.

Baka Gaijin
April 26th, 2011 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

@Chip Whittle (#147): Wait, what? Spaghetti? [checks out link, checks out comics.com favorites, checks out link again] Oh no. I’ve been reading the Sunday strip all week but I didn’t realize until just now. Should I be feeling shame over my lack of attention or happiness that my mind just doesn’t care about Herb or Jamaal to remember from one day to the next? I choose “happiness.” Woot, brain!

ElkMeadow
April 26th, 2011 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

(Pluggers) think about how the people on the radio said that they should be grateful for their shitty job, because of the recession, but really they’d be pretty happy if they got to work and found that the place had burned to the ground, or even that they had been just been fired for no good reason.

Well, I’m definitely not a Plugger. *goes back to checking help wanted ads and filling out paperwork for job placement program at Goodwill.*

Baka Gaijin
April 26th, 2011 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

Please oh please, someone add Marvin to the last panel of today’s Thatababy. It’s screaming for that treatment. Screaming!

commodorejohn
April 26th, 2011 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

@Chip Whittle (#147): Wow, it’s like the author of Compu-Toon hasn’t even gotten on the Internet at all since the days of Mosaic, back before Javascript was even a thing!

Wait, this is Compu-Toon. I guess that was kind of a given.

Dood
April 26th, 2011 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

If nurse Liza doesn’t stop focusing all of her attention on her hand-held technology thingy, someone’s gonna move her cheese.

Maggie the Cat
April 26th, 2011 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

Today’s “Momma” is the scene cut from the children’s tearjerker book, “Love You Forever”.

Maggie the Cat
April 26th, 2011 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

…. All Momma was wanting to do was pick up that big, strong man and very slowly rock him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she rocked him she’d sing….. But no! He’s got some unappreciative, undeserving hussy in his bed!

commodorejohn
April 26th, 2011 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

@Maggie the Cat (#157): Oh. OH. Two awful tastes that taste awful together!

*vomiting*

Baka Gaijin
April 26th, 2011 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

@Dood (#156): Cheese? I thought that was a fatty tumor sample that hadn’t made it to the lab for its biopsy yet.

@Maggie the Cat (#157) and @Maggie the Cat (#158): WILL THIS HORROR NEVER END?

Maggie the Cat
April 26th, 2011 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#159): LOL, I guess Momma didn’t find that the “big, strong man wasn’t ‘really asleep’, did she?

Baka Gaijin
April 26th, 2011 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

@Maggie the Cat (#161): AAAAHHH! I’d better just log off this thread for the night.

Baka Gaijin
April 26th, 2011 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

SPECIAL TO JOSH F: So what kind of donation do I have to drop in your PayPal to get that Momma comic and comment off this post?

Dennis Jimenez
April 26th, 2011 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#163): Aw cum’on – Mama horning in on this romantic scene – it’s comedy gold, baby! Now if she had a digital hand cam, and posted it on Hulu – that would have been platinum….

Greg
April 26th, 2011 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

And now Dick Tracy with the fedora. The brim seems to stick just to his fingers, which is a sign of real elegance, I suppose? I’d say it’s okay for Dick Tracy to have men wearing hats because the strip takes place in 1943. Uh… and yet I seem to recall cell phones and computers being used in earlier stories… Dammit, I need to stop thinking about hats!

littlestevie
April 26th, 2011 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

DT: Jim looks like he is channeling his inner Frank Nelson. For a retro strip, it is nice to see them use retro character actors.

Phantom: So Python is now hanging out in the world famous San Diego Zoo. It is lunch time for me, so I guess I shoot on down and check him out. Thank god I am a member, its getting kinda of expensive to go.

MT: Is there any symbolism between Mark and Cherry’s embrace and a giant beaver in the previous panel?

JP: I really thought Connie was not evil and I disagreed with all the speculation on this blog about her being some sort of hitwoman, but now, seeing as how her boobs are growing bigger and bigger by the minute, I am not so sure.

Maggie the Cat
April 26th, 2011 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

@littlestevie (#166): I doubt it. I don’t think Mark ever has beaver on the mind.

KarMann
April 26th, 2011 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

@Frank Lee Meidere (#108) on the OBH mystery: There are at least three “new” One Big Happys (Didactic Duo, did I get that right?) each day. There’s the new-new one, which is hard to find online, but the Chron has it; that’s the one with the book plugging today. Then, there are two different recycled ones, at comics.com (the one with “retail therapy” today, which you’ve seen) and at gocomics.com (has a spelling bee thing today).
Don’t ask me why it’s so complicated, but there it is.

Berkely with Cows
April 26th, 2011 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

Momma: Merciful Christ, does anyone at Creators Syndicate actually sign off on the material submitted by Lazarus? The depiction of a woman interrupting a moment of sexual intimacy between her grown son and his wife to remind the latter how unworthy she is enters the realm of the terminally icky. This would be repellent enough if Lazarus possessed a scintilla of actual artistic talent, but his indifferent squiggles, only vaguely suggestive of human beings, make the creator of “Crock” look like Alex Raymond or Frank Cho by comparison. After 30 plus years of endlessly recycling the same stale gags about an emasculating hell-bitch making life miserable for her children in the guise of maternal love, is it not time to put this strip to sleep?

ArchieNemesis
April 26th, 2011 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

@Patrick (#1): Here’s the first pitch of the ballgame … and Patrick knocks it out of the park!

Shrug
April 26th, 2011 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

@littlestevie (#166):

“JP: I really thought Connie was not evil”

Given her intense interest in Yogi Berra/Mickey Mantle slash fic — uh, sorry, baseball cards — she’s apparently a New York Yankees fan. So, yes, of course she’s evil by definition.

IHateMowing
April 26th, 2011 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

MW: Please notice the placement of the nurse’s left hand in panel one. Now change “fever” to “boner”. There… isn’t that better?

UncleJeff
April 26th, 2011 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

@Charterstoned (#139): Wonderful!

Old School Allie Cat
April 26th, 2011 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

Luann – The “real winner” is anyone who has managed to avoid the last 23 years of this shitty strip. As to who won the pageant? My money is on Rosa.

MW – What caused the fever? Well, we’re in a hospital, so my money’s on either staph, c-diff, or the scalpel Dr. Handsome left in your father’s thoracic cavity. I’m not willing to rule out undercooked French toast from breakfast, and it’s possible that I sneezed into his open wound…you know -any of the usual causes…

commodorejohn
April 26th, 2011 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

@IHateMowing (#172): So did they “bring it down” through some controlled breathing exercises, or something a little quicker?

gnome de blog
April 26th, 2011 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#124):
I misspoke. Both JP and RMMD, along with A3-G, were created by Dr. Nicholas P. Dallis. My view is that: 1) JP is a richer, more varied and funnier strip than RMMD, and 2) Woody’s second-best is better than almost everyone else’s first-best.

I will not, however, say “fie upon you, madam!” in return. Each to their own. And I will say that June comes out ahead in the Abbey vs. June rack-off by a, erm, nose.

bats :[
April 26th, 2011 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#159): *stereo hurling*

Fashion Police
April 26th, 2011 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

We are gratified that young Gunter’s creativity was rewarded. He has a promising career ahead of him, designing fetish-wear for transvestites.

Scott Bot
April 26th, 2011 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

Can anyone with more Mark Trail knowledge tell me just who the bald gentleman is, and what function he serves in this strip? I’m certain he’s somehow important to the plot of many stories; but as far as I can tell, he just exists to fill in some awkward blank spaces in the background of certain panels.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
April 26th, 2011 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

educational ferretsquee. (~5:30 movie.)

Gary
April 26th, 2011 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

Um, I’m not sure that I know “any of the parts of speech of Latin verbs,” either, Josh. And I don’t think that means I’m a Plugger.

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
April 26th, 2011 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

everything is better with chocolates. ;-)

ArchieNemesis
April 26th, 2011 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

Favorite Mark Trail comments today:
Chip Whittle – “I needed a couple seconds to parse that…”
pugfuggly – “Whatever. Just don’t get lost, like the last time you went on an ‘adventure…’”
Scott Bot – “Asking Mark not to get lost in the woods is a little like asking someone on Funky Winkerbean not to smirk.”

Thanks Chip, for the Dick Tracy summary. I was so confused by the “No time for a warning shot!” panel, I stopped reading the strip closely for the last week or so. I’m glad to discover that the conclusion was as random as it looked at a glance.

Also thanks to Josh, for finally getting to the hateful passive-aggressive heart of Pluggers.

littlestevie
April 26th, 2011 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

@Maggie the Cat (#167): Thats what I thought, but I was hoping for some deep hidden meaning. Awww what am I thinking, this is Mark Trail after all.

littlestevie
April 26th, 2011 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

MW: Oh, I just love those 1930’s style hospital beds that they still use at Santa Royale General. I wonder what other forms of modern medical technology they eschew.

IHateMowing
April 26th, 2011 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#175):

Our subject’s flared nostrils and glazed eyes tell the tale here, commodore. Another successfully “released patient”.

gnome de blog
April 26th, 2011 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

@Scott Bot (#179):
That’s Doc Davis, Cherry’s father. If I remember right, he’s the actual owner of Lost Forest or at least the Davis-Trail estate within Lost Forest. Otherwise, his dramatic function in the strip is, as you say, to fill up awkward spaces. I can’t remember when he was last given a line of dialog.

kkarenb
April 26th, 2011 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

MW – I have to give MW credit for the somewhat up-to-date nurses’ scrubs. If this were Mark Trail, they would be wearing white uniforms and hats.

Scott Bot
April 26th, 2011 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

@gnome de blog (#187): Thanks, that does clear it up, although on a day like today I’d really like him to get some dialogue. He appears to be having a pretty interesting conversation with the dog.

Little Guy
April 26th, 2011 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

@Shrug (#171): Not so much a CotW, but this one should be on a Duck Boat floating on the Charles.

Frank Lee Meidere
April 26th, 2011 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#136): The Great Brain! I read those books to my kids when they were young. Brilliant.

Kansattica
April 26th, 2011 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

@Renee J (#5): Doesn’t explain why the window is only a foot or so above the ground.

ElkMeadow
April 26th, 2011 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

@Little Guy (#134):

Candorville: *sigh* I miss the halcyon days of fandom meme dropping.

I miss the days of Susan and the femur-chewing werewolf, “Sunshine”.

Todd
April 26th, 2011 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

In case you missed it, the artist of Archie comics died this month:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_Scarpelli

The new artist is Fernando Ruiz, but creators.com has yet to update the biography page:
http://www.creators.com/comics/archie-about.html

Joe Blevins
April 26th, 2011 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

Zomby has a perfectly good explanation for that.

cheech wizard
April 26th, 2011 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

@Todd (#194): I’m sorry to hear that. I’ll miss the saucy random high school babes sprinkled around the panel, not to mention the terrifying mascots and the unsettling ways characters would crop up on t-shirts, notebooks and even as voodoo-like dolls. Was he the one responsible for dropping in the occasional AJGLU3000 references, or was that the writer?

queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
April 26th, 2011 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

@ElkMeadow (#193): I quit reading Candorville a month or so back, and can’t say I’m missing it at all.

Frank Lee Meidere
April 26th, 2011 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

@KarMann (#168): Thank you!

Anansi
April 26th, 2011 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

@Berkely with Cows (#169):
We hate you forever,
We’ll scam you for always,
As long as there’s paper,
Our sucker you’ll be.

Signed,
Creators Syndicate

TheDiva
April 26th, 2011 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#159): I actually kind of liked that book when I was a kid, mostly because in my childhood innocence the idea of a woman breaking into her grown son’s house so she could rock him in his sleep seemed more absurd than creepy. From a grown-up perspective, though, it’s definitely become a lot more disturbing.

Still not the creepiest children’s book I’ve ever encountered, though….

seismic-2
April 26th, 2011 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

@The Ghost of Jarrod (#69): Why does the fireman wear red suspenders?

Because he’s lost so much weight, since he came down with cancer!

But what’s the punch line?

The new Montoni’s on-line ordering system automatically adds an extra fattening topping to your pizza, depending on what stage of cancer you have!

seismic-2
April 26th, 2011 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

FC: “What do you mean, when you’re older?” asks Bill, as he pulls the blanket over Jeffy’s head and pushes the pillow onto his face.

DT: Does the pencil-thin mustache guy from the FBI also run the Witness-Protection Service’s branch for circuses? He must, since his report will read simply, “It happened.”

MW: “I don’t know – I’ll speak to the Nurse on Duty! Oh wait, she spent all last night hanging out in a recording studio with some Hobotramp. That must explain why the chart on your father’s fever says, ‘Needs more cowbell!’”

Maggie the Cat
April 26th, 2011 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

@seismic-2 (#202): No, no…. not the homely nurse, the CRAZY nurse.

commodorejohn
April 26th, 2011 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

@Maggie the Cat (#203): I dunno. “Homely” still implies some kind of definable attribute of note – Tommie’s more just a blank space where an adjective would go.

Cheeky Wee Monkeys
April 26th, 2011 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

I’m glad I don’t live in Momma’s world. Invasion of sex life aside, I rather like living in three dimensions, where my bed isn’t some awkwardly-angled sticker on a wall.

The Ridger
April 26th, 2011 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

MT: “Now his son has chosen to disappear.” This, of course, can not stand: no son has the right to chose to do something his father disapproves of. Sure, we’re pretending I’m just going to go find out if he wants to come back to his creepy “I can’t live without him” father, but since I just said that he’s “chosen to disappear”, I think we can all see that for the flimsy charade it really is.

els
April 26th, 2011 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

I like the way that Dick’s speech bubble appears to come out of his nose and ricochet off the bottom of the panel. It’s the sort of thing you’d say about Chuck Norris: “You don’t find snot in his nasal passages; you find hardboiled truth.”

cheech wizard
April 26th, 2011 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

FC – Judging from Bil’s expression, Jeffy’s growing up a lot faster than expected.

New caption: “You mean it’s supposed to gush like that?”

The Ridger
April 26th, 2011 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

MW: Why does everyone think the message of the MW arc is “technology is evil”? She just did that one. This is – it seems to me – clearly “Liza is stalking Drew”. Sure yesterday she was updating her Facebook page with wedding plans, but this is the first intrusion of technology into her crazy behavior. She didn’t use technology to blow off going to work to be “in the moment – here and now with you!” and she didn’t use it to say “You complete me” on the first or possibly second date. The iWhatsit is irrelevant. It’s just a way to put her in the 21st century, instead of having her writing “Mrs Drew Corey” in her diary a hundred times, occasionally interspersing it with “Mrs Liza Corey” so she can dot the I with a heart.

Or at least that’s how it strikes me.

boojum
April 26th, 2011 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

@Todd (#194): Wow. I think it’s been only the last couple of days that folks here have noticed. Looking back at the posted strips, Ruiz has been the artist since at least late March.

Calico
April 26th, 2011 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#182):
Aw, two Choco-Chesapeake puppies…*mind melt in progress*

The Ridger
April 26th, 2011 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

@cheech wizard (#196): His name’s been on the strip for a while now, and the random mascots and odd hallway characters have still been there. So far, I think he’s an improvement – the strip’s … nicer to look at somehow.

boojum
April 26th, 2011 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

@Kansattica (#192): We’ve got tall windows in our second-floor bedroom; they’re less than a foot from the floor. Of course, since my mother-in-law lives with us – on the first floor – I took the sensible precaution of stringing concertina wire below the sills…..

SideshowJon
April 26th, 2011 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

Papa Zits is planning to eat Jeremy in order to absorb his power.

boojum
April 26th, 2011 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

@Tophat (#114): And yes, it is surprisingly refreshing to start each day by shouting “HELLO WORLD! HERE IS MY JUNK.”

Or it was. Damn interfering Homeowners’ Association.

Aviatrix
April 26th, 2011 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#74): Millions of years of evolution have honed men’s loins to stir at the sight of breasts, but only in the last few hundred has the idea emerged that there should be a waiting period between puberty and sexual availability. If the interplay between social taboo and biological imperative can be used to sell advertising space on Dateline, I don’t see why it shouldn’t wring a few laughs over a feather-bedecked turtle.

Aviatrix
April 26th, 2011 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

@Frank Lee Meidere (#117): If he takes into consideration the curvature of the earth, then perhaps his idea of perfection is perfect north-south alignment, and the rows therefore diverge very slightly towards the equator.

@Baka Gaijin (#126): Momma is just so overarchingly disturbing that it nullifies all other inappropriateness. Similarly, you probably don’t get in trouble for contaminating a plutonium waste disposal site with feces. Except, that is, for the trouble ensuing from getting far enough out of your protective clothing to do so.

Aviatrix
April 26th, 2011 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

@Little Guy (#134): But we analyzed that. Unless she stashed it there before starting to tan, she never had opportunity to do so. It’s possible, however, that she stashed it in the pocket of the robe before tanning, and that her captors didn’t search there. Apparently they were gentlemen enough not to search there, at any rate.

It is a story weakness that they carefully introduced the radios, used a vague transmission of static to alert Dick, but never explained exactly what role they played.

Emilytheslayer
April 26th, 2011 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

I have to give Momma some credit here! Clearly today’s strip is meant as a savage take-down of the well-loved but totally creepy children’s classic I’ll Love You Forever, in which a mother is shown rocking her sleeping son through all the stages of his life, up to and including driving across town with a ladder to sneak into his bedroom window at night. As he lies next to his sleeping wife, the mother continues to rock him and repeat her little song. Then mother gets too old and the roles are reversed, with the son rocking the frail, elderly woman and repeating the song to her. The book ends there, but I think we can all assume that the next scene is the son running around the hotel he used to run with his mother. Bravo, Momma, to take on the literary establishment like this!

Poteet
April 26th, 2011 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

Hi everyone! I just dropped by briefly after a few days’ absence to say hello, belatedly congratulate Alan’s Addiction and the other very funny floaters on the gloriously-multiplying floats, and express brief but intense chagrin that I apparently missed a long entertaining thread about vaginas. I also want to assure y’all that I’m okay, just very busy and also trying to deal with a rural computer connection that seems to be getting even slower, and wish everyone well. (Any plans for a thread about penises? Never mind.)

commodorejohn
April 26th, 2011 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

@Emilytheslayer (#219): See, I’m just kind of amazed that it’s as well-known as it apparently is – I always figured it got one printing by some microscopic publisher back in the ’80s or whenever and it was only the kind of very strange people on the periphery of my family’s circle of acquaintances that had a copy. Now that I find other people elsewhere in the world know about it…it’s kind of mind-boggling.

@Poteet (#220): Well, there was the “traitorous penis” bit a couple years back…not nearly as memorable, though.

Carl Barks Fan
April 26th, 2011 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#220): Welcome back!

Rixter
April 26th, 2011 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

MW – what are the odds that Liza is sexting?

trey le parc
April 26th, 2011 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

MW: So that’s what Doc Savage’s father looks like. It kind of makes me wonder what Doc Savage’s mother looked like, hair-wise.

[Old Man] Muffaroo
April 26th, 2011 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

@bbofun (#101): I would like to buy into your Judge Parker prediction. Could you put me down for 5%? It seems like such a sure bet, I don’t think I could afford more.

@Todd (#194): Aw, crud. Scarpelli was an okay guy, who accepted the CC’s remarks as ribbing and returned in kind with little references to us. I’ll miss Cammie, too. I don’t think the art itself changed until a few brief days ago — probably working through the strips Scarpelli had already completed. Well. The new art looks good, but I’ll miss Mr. Scarpelli.

The Weird yet Obvious
April 26th, 2011 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

Did you know that reading Momma causes one to lose brain cells?
You may think that other comics would do the same thing but only Momma causes this phenomenon. Scientists have studied this odd occurance yet they scratch their heads and can’t give an answer. Mostly because they read Momma in their studies and lost brain cells.

Read any comic you wish but do not read Momma. Please. We need all the brain cells we can get.

By the way, alcohol does not destroy nearly the amount of brain cells reading Momma does. Seriously, don’t read that strip.

ODD FACT: Mel Lazarus does not read his strip when he writes it. His brain cells are still intact.

Timothy Burke
April 26th, 2011 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

Am I kind of deranged for sort of liking the current reboot of Dick Tracy? Art seems less pointlessly insane and there’s a kind of peppy energy to the scripting that recalls the strip back in its amazing (cop-homicidal) days of yore.

Actually, I keep thinking that maybe it would be cool to occasionally revisit when the comics pages were the prime real estate of sequential art in the US–Little Nemo-era stuff. It helps to explain both why old geezers threaten to riot every time someone tries to remove a legacy strip and just how horribly if amusingly bad the current legacy stuff really is.

Dave Latchaw
April 26th, 2011 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

Henry Scarpelli died last April, not this April. The dates in this week’s strip look pasted in so this is probably old stuff.

MWDG
April 26th, 2011 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

MW: My hat is off to you Karen Moy for showing what a hell hole Mountview Hospital (and for that matter most hospitals are.) If you enter a hospital you have a 78% chance of leaving in a coffin! God knows what diseases Drew carried back from Viet Nam.

In our sicko sexist world… nurses is always blamed…what about the doctor? Nurses (both male and female) are constantly mentally, physically and sexually abused by both patients and the doctors on staff. Who can blame Liza for taking a little time to catch her breath and check her tweets? If that miserable paitent complains about Liza she will make sure he never leaves the hospital a “full man.”

Maria Veiga
April 26th, 2011 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

3G: Rick just clumsy as usual, meet Tommie who’s your match, that is: a clumsy silly red head who believes anything, just like the time she believed she was starring in a Broadway show and it was just a reality show trying to lower the self steem of participants. By the way, what happened to the changes introduced in the girls’ styles? Well, doesn’t really matter, or does it?

Rex Morgan: Well, so we ask a crook to steal a millionaire ticket and we give him just a few dollars and he’s going to bring it safely into our hands? By the way, you still believe in Santa, don’t you?

MW: What’s the point? He had a fever and he’s OK now, why bother about the cause and bother the busy nurse who’s playing whatever boring game she prefers to being in charge of saving lives?

Jeffers
April 26th, 2011 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

Anyone else notice today Marvin’s parents are doing the only reasonable thing and castrating him? Don’t worry Marvin, you’ll never miss them.

Walker of Dog
April 26th, 2011 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

@Scott Bot (#179): Cherry’s dad also fills in whenever Andy and the syndicate are involved in one of their contract disputes, or when Rusty is recovering off-panel from the effects of the latest ‘cure’. Here’s to Doc Davis, reliable utility infielder and all-around good sport.

@commodorejohn (#204): Tommie is an isolated, barren mesa where adjectives go to die.

@Aviatrix (#217): The well-prepared befouler of Yucca Mountain brings their feces in a bag.

Aviatrix
April 26th, 2011 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

@Gary (#181): He means that you know enough to connect the noun recession to the verb recede despite the s/d switcheroo thing going on there. He doesn’t necessarily imply that you know cessare to be the frequentative aspect of cedere, but he’s betting that Pluggers don’t. Unless … were there Pluggers in Roman times? Griping about how you can’t get harness to fit eohippi these days?

Poteet
April 26th, 2011 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#221): Thanks for the memories…

Poteet
April 26th, 2011 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

@Carl Barks Fan (#222): Thanks! For some reason my computer is working better this evening. Maybe posting here brought me luck.

Poteet
April 26th, 2011 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

Aaaand another comic strip artist takes a little jab at Iowa. But that’s okay, Julia — it’s been awhile, and my collection needed another specimen.

http://www.juliawertz.com/

Aviatrix
April 26th, 2011 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

@Timothy Burke (#227): If you review the last week or so of comments you’ll see that pretty much everyone is delirious with joy over the new Dick Tracy art, just a little whiplashed by the new pacing.

@Walker of Dog (#232): Suddenly I have the image of that being a Momma instalment I missed.

Chip Whittle
April 26th, 2011 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#233):
Unless … were there Pluggers in Roman times? Griping about how you can’t get harness to fit eohippi these days?

Pluggeriae really see how much the imperium has grown whenever they try fitting into the tunics they wore to watch the Optimates strangle Tiberius Gracchus!

seismic-2
April 26th, 2011 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

@Aviatrix (#217): I do very much hope that Crankshaft has aligned the rows in his garden so that they are minutely further apart at the south end than at the north end, exactly following the curvature of the earth. That way, at the next meeting of the Ladies’ Gardening Club he can chastise all the ladies in attendance for their failure to take into account the influence of Coriolis forces on the growth of tomato vines, and the ladies can in turn strangle him and hang him out on a pole to use as a scarecrow. I look forward to reading Crankshaft for the rest of the summer, which will consist of nothing but strips showing flocks of Mark Trail-sized albatrosses, all with acute diarrhea, flying low over his head.

Chip Whittle
April 26th, 2011 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

@Chip Whittle (#238): By the way, that comes to us from Stipes Ambulans, of Tusculum.

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