Apartment 3-G, 4/7/11
Abandoned by her roommates, Margo is forced to bathroom on her own! That’s kind of an oddly drawn toilet brush; at first glance, I thought it might be some sort of archaic feathery masturbatory aid, but surely Margo is far too self-actualized to refer to self-pleasure as “dirty work.” Anyway, whether we’re talking cleaning the commode or rubbing one out, Margo doesn’t need to do it because Trey’s shown up. Have fun, Trey! Hope you don’t have to go to the bathroom, I hear it’s gross.
Mark Trail, 4/7/11
The Mark Trail drug-smuggling plot has ended rather anticlimactically, with Mark guiding his stolen plane to a nearby commercial airport, dropping off his escapee passengers, and he idle small talk with his government handler, who I assume had written him off for dead weeks ago. “Oh, hey,” he remarks casually, “there’s an island within a day’s boat-drift of U.S. soil where a narcotics kingpin rules with an iron fist and keeps people as slaves. You might want to look into that or whatever.”
I also look forward to the confused encounter between Lonnie and the Coast Guard that will result from Mark’s brush-off in panel two. “Your family? Uh … do they live near a coast?”
Dennis the Menace, 4/7/11
Ha ha, this is exactly the sort of thing that would normally send Mr. Wilson into a rage! But his pupils are invisible because his eyes are rolled back behind his drooping eyelids, indicating that he’s been in a dissociated state for hours. If Mrs. Wilson wants to call that “senility,” that’s fine, I guess; whatever keeps him out of her hair, amiright?
This entry was posted on Thursday, April 7, 2011 at 08:25 am and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Dennis the Menace, Mark Trail. | 355 responses to “” Écureuil ÉcumantApril 7th, 2011 at 8:28 am [Reply]
MT: Mark gets in one last vicarious remote-manipulated titty-rub-by-proxy before turning the MJs over to the Coast Guard to help them connect with their families?! Fuck, I thought that was Dr. Phil’s job. Meanwhile, a Worthian arrow informs us of a Batukian denouement: Mark’s buddy Dick’s laryngeal cancer is T E R M I N A L
Gloom RaiderApril 7th, 2011 at 8:29 am [Reply]
Mark Trail: “It’s good to see you, Dick!”
“My name is Bill.”
“Yes…”
April 7th, 2011 at 8:32 am [Reply]
BB: Sarge has discovered he likes the feel of beef squeezin’s, hot sauce and gin while being pleasured orally. Looks like the boys’ll just have to work this out between themselves.
AmateurApril 7th, 2011 at 8:34 am [Reply]
MT: I think I know who Lonnie’s family is. She’s doing an unmistakable Ted Forth hand gesture in panel 1.
boojumApril 7th, 2011 at 8:35 am [Reply]
MT: I could do without Mark’s hand placement on the little girl’s head in panel 2. Just sayin’.
Frank Lee MeidereApril 7th, 2011 at 8:39 am [Reply]
Get Fuzzy: “biggest rodent security breach this side of Easter.” Beautiful. What’s even better is that there’s an effective topper to the joke.
Sally: Hey! I know that story. Let her finish, damn it!
Rocky StoneaxeApril 7th, 2011 at 8:41 am [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#y255):
The last panel looks like Anthony’s got a TracFone.
The original TracFone… only $3.98 (and no box tops!):
http://funningham.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/mobile-phone-watch.jpg
Écureuil ÉcumantApril 7th, 2011 at 8:41 am [Reply]
MT: In panel 1, Mark’s tummy graciously thanks its benefactor for all those delicious flapjacks. Gosh, Mark, sure good to see your momma raised you with some manners.
Captain Plaid PantsApril 7th, 2011 at 8:41 am [Reply]
Funky Winkerbean is just a daily game of Adversity Bingo. This differs from regular bingo in a couple ways, but chief among them is the 100×100 matrix size. It’s looking good for me to finally check off my anally-raped-with-a-broom-handle-hazing square.
Écureuil ÉcumantApril 7th, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]
@Captain Plaid Pants (#9): Indeed, speaking of games, maybe we should start a pool on what color of fluid is gonna come out from under that door next.
DoodApril 7th, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]
I’ll never think of “cleaning the fridge” and “scrubbing the oven” in the literal sense again. Thanks, Margo!
Captain Plaid PantsApril 7th, 2011 at 8:46 am [Reply]
MW: Is Liza slowly tipping over, or is she just being drawn by the gravitational pull of Dr. Drew’s penis? “Must… touch… penis. Can’t… resist…”
PatrickApril 7th, 2011 at 8:48 am [Reply]
Does apartment 3G have a door buzzer in the bathroom, or does Margo clean everything in the apartment with a toilet brush? I’m not sure which option is less disgusting.
Écureuil ÉcumantApril 7th, 2011 at 8:49 am [Reply]
Barney & Clyde:
As Piss Week dribbles and jiggles towards its zip-up, B&C raises the ante with unspeakable filth.
Scott BotApril 7th, 2011 at 8:49 am [Reply]
Archie – I sometimes think that the only reason I even bother with this strip is for the hot hallway chicks and the occasional perverted mascot sighting. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
FW – So Bull and Les are into S&M? Who knew?
GT – Ok, with the pitcher/catcher comments yesterday, and the comment about new players being ‘malleable,’ there’s kind of a strange subtext going on here. I hope I’m not the only one seing it.
Pluggers – I guess I don’t really understand why you need to have both suspenders and a belt, unless you’re using the belt to hold your pants up and the suspenders to hold up your Depends.
Frank Lee MeidereApril 7th, 2011 at 8:49 am [Reply]
GT: Is this Westview or Stepford?
MT: To recap: Mark Trail got shot, drifted onto a drug smuggler’s private island, hopped on a plane with a mother and her child, flew back to the United States, and during this whole time, absolutely nothing happened! That’s art, of a sort.
Momma: What! “Sinner is derved” proved too much for you?
Phantom: So…he hits him now? Way to provide positive reinforcement, Ghost-Who-Sure-The-Hell-Ain’t-Skinner.
wossnameApril 7th, 2011 at 8:49 am [Reply]
Curtis – In tomorrow’s “Curtis,” events take a hilarious turn when the IRS knocks at the Wilkins’ door!!
GT – I see. Coach Alcala is a manipulative sadist. Well, this should be fun!
MT – Oh come on. So Mark just kinda knew where Miami was, and puttputted little ol’ N2171 into MIA, where the air traffic controllers were all “Hey, Mark Trail! The famous naturalist! We’ve heard about you! Just park that plane anywhere. By an amazing coincidence, all your friends from the Coast Guard are already here.”
Phantom – I’m so lost, I feel like I’m back in the old Dick Tracy. Where did Chatu’s gun go, again? Didn’t Kit say no violence? Is punching not violence? My head hurts.
S-M – Oh please please please let some bad guy have learned to make webs. But I guess that would be too much like a plot twist.
Captain Plaid PantsApril 7th, 2011 at 8:52 am [Reply]
@Écureuil Écumant (#10): Well, we have the holy trinity of fluids to choose from: Blood, Urine, and Semen. It’s a real toss-up for me.
Orange CactusApril 7th, 2011 at 8:52 am [Reply]
MT: Mark Trail IS a Terminator, I don’t care that the arrow in the second panel is trying to convince us otherwise. It just makes too much sense.
Dennis JimenezApril 7th, 2011 at 8:53 am [Reply]
A3G – Margo dons her bun and scepter – all hail queen Margo!
MT – Panel two – stay tuned while Mark gets his hands on a little head.
DtM – Mr. Wilson is so limp, he needs a senile implant.
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Rocky StoneaxeApril 7th, 2011 at 8:55 am [Reply]
DtM — Why is Mr. Wilson reading an old* Turkish newspaper?
Crankshaft — She forgot to mention the week her grandfather timed everyone’s bathroom breaks!
*pre-1928
PozzoApril 7th, 2011 at 8:55 am [Reply]
MT: I’m not expecting “Dick” to last too long. There’s an arrow on the wall there, informing us that he’s terminal. It’s sort of like those “Two-Way Wrist Radio” indicators in the old Dick Tracy strips.
Écureuil ÉcumantApril 7th, 2011 at 9:00 am [Reply]
@Captain Plaid Pants (#18): I think I’ll go with Guaiac-Positive Umber.
CanuckDownSouthApril 7th, 2011 at 9:02 am [Reply]
Liza and Drew are locked in fierce platitude-fest combat, neither willing to be the first to convey actual information in this conversation. Each knows that if they can intimidate the other, they’ll face one fewer serious competitors at the Platitude-palooza World Finals next month.
(hosted at Charterstone and judged by Mary Worth, the Simon Cowell of the conversational circuit).
I’ll believe Curtis takes storytelling seriously when they spend a tiny amount of a stash which covered credit card bills and fancy restaurant meals and get the boys their own beds!. Seriously – we’re talking roughly 250 bucks at Ikea (2*[30$ frame + 20$ slats + 80$ mattress]).
“Anticlimactic” scarcely begins to describe MT. From “I’ll try to fly us home” to landed? No searching, no radioing control towers, no trouble landing a plane with a head injury??? We’ve been robbed.
S. StoutApril 7th, 2011 at 9:02 am [Reply]
DtM: Based on that paper header, Mr. Wilson gets the Vietnamese Daily. I’d research a return to ‘Nam also if I had an evil wife who delights in my misery by letting the neighborhood kids crawl all over me.
Luann: Luann gets to call her life depressing, but when Tiffany calls her old, that’s going too far? Not buying it Evans! Also, how are these judges not biased at all?
Old Prune: Likes Luann, hates Tiffany
Crazy Teacher: Hates Tiffany
Whore Toni: Likes Luann
Dirk, where are you? Help!
gleebApril 7th, 2011 at 9:03 am [Reply]
Cul: Kevin is just as goofy and amusing a kid as Alice, yet she doesn’t like him. I love that; Thompson gets small children, which is no mean feat.
Between Enemies of Humanity: In which we learn that this woman is purposefully not teaching her children to cook, so they will become fat and unhealthy on teevee dinners later.
’shaft: Ed’s a jackass. But we knew that already. Move on, Batiuk.
Curtis: Curtis’ Dad, a state employee, believes in screwing the state over by not paying his share of taxes. Cliche, but “Christ, what an asshole”.
Dilbert: You know, having killed off a character, and that his main antagonist, Adams will now have to do something inventive with his little puppet show. Or puke up some lame-ass “he wasn’t really dead” cop out. Gee, I wonder which it will be.
Doones: I have to hand it to Trudeau. 4 days into a Thudpucker series, and it still isn’t about how cool the music was when he was young and how much it stinks now, which is how these things usually run. Still, there’s always tomorrow.
‘bean: One can only assume, this being Batiuk, that Young Creepy Les is being raped.
Mary: Just jump on him already!
Sequitur: Fuck, Wiley, Zippy is an object lesson in what not to do, you bonehead.
Phantom: Finally with the whacking. I was beginning to suspect Locher had moved over from Dick tracy.
Pluggers: …are too damned fat for a belt to be any good.
Forth: Listen. Sally has become Ted, but more literate.
Barney Google: Snuffy rejects batiukism, and all its false promises.
Zippy: No, Baby Zippy is a pointy-headed freak who talks as much as McDowner, and has even less appeal. Cry, Griffy, cry, but your work is still stale, flat, and unprofitable.
Écureuil ÉcumantApril 7th, 2011 at 9:05 am [Reply]
@Dennis Jimenez (#20): ¡Ay guey, you’ll need three legs to ride the floats this week!
Dr PalindromeApril 7th, 2011 at 9:06 am [Reply]
@Patrick (#13):
Cleaning everything in the apartment with the toilet brush would make sense of Trey’s “Are you always so reckless?” He clearly has Margo on video surveillance.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoApril 7th, 2011 at 9:06 am [Reply]
Frazz: story problem week continues. Admit it, you googled her, too.
A&J: going localvore? (It’s not as dirty as you’re thinking. . . .)
Lio: made certain ‘mudges morning with this one.
R&R: more informative than a Sunday MT strip!
Archie: panel 1, nice rack!
GF: ferrets Are NOT RODENTS!!!!!
OBH: back in the day, they had to wait until high school. Or maybe just the hall monitors.
PBS: Sunday come early!
Zits: weren’t they stapled to his head a week or so back?
FlummoxicatedApril 7th, 2011 at 9:07 am [Reply]
9CL: Is Seth that much of a jerk or has he just given up because nothing can fill the vacuum that is Edda’s self-esteem? More importantly, do any characters in this strip have any likable qualities?
Rocky StoneaxeApril 7th, 2011 at 9:10 am [Reply]
4-7 Weird Sound Effects:
Drabble — BUMP!
A3G — BUZZ BUZZ
Phantom — WHACK!
Spider-Man — FWIPP
Monty — CHSHH CHSHH
Funky Winkerbean — SLAP! SMACK!
Piranha Club — SKWEEEEE SKRAAAPE SKRAANG
April 7th, 2011 at 9:16 am [Reply]
rMC: first of the celebrity puns. (mmmm, Salmon Hayek. . . . )
word-doctorApril 7th, 2011 at 9:19 am [Reply]
If I didn’t have the internet, I wouldn’t have A3G. And if I didn’t have A3G and Josh’s note, Funkywinkerbean would ONLY be riffing on rough ass-pounding in a janitor’s closet… I would not connect the latter with the accessory displayed in the former. THANKS, INTERNET!
Calvin's Cardboard BoxApril 7th, 2011 at 9:19 am [Reply]
FW: “Slap”? “Smack”? That isn’t the sound of a bully pummelling Les, that is the sound of Les’ ambush. This bully is about to learn a Very Important Lesson about not going after the mark on his own terms, while simultanously isolating yourself from the rest of your gang/backup. Fortunately, Les’ idea of an ambush involves slapping Turk in the face while squealing “Leave me alone, you brute!”.
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#29):
Re: GF – Neither are rabbits.
But What Do I Know?April 7th, 2011 at 9:21 am [Reply]
MT — Yesterday I was thinking, there ought to be some suspense coming up–after all, that plane’s just not going to land itself. My bad!
But seriously, Lonnie and Daughter MomJeans are just going to waltz into the US without a passports, money, or green cards? I bet as soon as Mark’s back is turned the Coast Guard functionaire is going to have them spirited to the INS detention center so fast it will make your head spin.
The Ghost With No Memory — No violence tonight, eh?
SM — Sure, MJ likes it the webtouch now because they haven’t been married all that long. But wait a few years and she’ll be all like “Ew, gross, get that slimy thing off of me.”
Doctor HandsomeApril 7th, 2011 at 9:25 am [Reply]
“Trey? Is that you?” “No, I’m a crazy raping burglar. Thanks for buzzing me in, though.”
pugfugglyApril 7th, 2011 at 9:28 am [Reply]
MT: Is Mark winking at the reader in that last panel, a la Clark Kent? Is it because he wasn’t actually worried at all, or because the man’s name isn’t really Dick?
A3G: “Come up, whoever you are!” shouts out Margo in hot anticipation. I’m including that under evidence of ‘elaborate sex toy’.
MW Liza seems to follow every statement she utters with a little tag-on inner dialogue, or from Drew’s perspective, a weirdly awkward silence.
BB In so many strips, vomit is just implied, instead of actually shown in beautiful detail. Kudos to you, Beetle Bailey….
S-M “You always make me loo good, Vince” That’s not exactly a subtle dig, there, is it MJ? Ah well, Vince is too busy…um…dancing or miming or something to notice
boojumApril 7th, 2011 at 9:30 am [Reply]
MT: Well, that was easy! It took five days for Mark to taxi down the runway and point the plane toward Miami. Then, an hour after they land…..
Seriously, is this strip written by a three-year-old? This is how my daughter told stories.
“And then the bad man shot Mark Trail in the head and blew his brains out! And the bad man got away with the diamonds!”
“How sad!”
“Yes! Miss Cherry and Kelly Welly and Mark’s friends all cried.”
“Especially when they found the body, I bet.”
“DADDY!! No, see, the storm blew the boat WAY out in the ocean, and it drifted and drifted and sailed and sailed, until it floated up to this bee-yootiful island far, far away! And you know who lived on the island? A princess, and her mommy! But they were being held prisoner by a mean man who owned the island, and… and they had to do all the cooking and washing for the mean ol’ man and his friends, just like Cinderella!”
“Oh, dear! And Mark Trail couldn’t rescue them in his boat….”
“Well…… they saw the boat… and pulled it to the shore, and– and then Mark Trail woke up!”
“Oh, my!”
“Yes!! And the princess and her mommy had a magic bandaid, and they put it on Mark’s head……”
Maggie the CatApril 7th, 2011 at 9:30 am [Reply]
Mr. Wilson looks so pissy because his today’s Benghazi Daily Sun has some gloomy headlines.
Maggie the CatApril 7th, 2011 at 9:33 am [Reply]
RMMD- Trying to make Dex appear unchumplike is like trying to make Rosie O’Donnell feminine and coquettish. Impossible.
pugfugglyApril 7th, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#21): Poor Mr Wilson hasn’t had time to catch up on his reading since the ’20s. “Whatever happened to that damn sultan….?”
AnonymousApril 7th, 2011 at 9:44 am [Reply]
MT: Wait, I’m pretty sure that I’ve seen this before: Mark arrives back in Lost Forrest, cloaked and unrecognized. The driveway is filled with the cars on the bearded chemical plant CEOs, smugglers, kidnappers and corrupt government officials that are lounging around the main hall’s sofas and drinking Mark’s grape NeeHis. All are leering expectantly at a mom-jeans-clad and flannel-shirted Cherry who seems sad ad, yet, determined. An agitated Rusty is off on the side fuming and just about to step forward to challenge one of the usurpers to a fatal leg wrestling duel when Mark restrains him with a hand on his shoulder. “Wait, he whispers, It’s gonna be alright.” Rusty doesn’t immediately recognize the hooded figure but is strangely comforted. Slowly, clandestinely, Mark reaches for his trusty fishing rod leaning against the back wall and arms the line with gleaming sharp, barbs of his favorite lure … the screen fades to red and horrible screaming is heard in the background.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoApril 7th, 2011 at 9:46 am [Reply]
Love Is . . . . a big dog.
teh kewt, it burns.
ok, which mudge submitted this?!? *dies laughing*
as seen in the Forth’s kitchen.
IKA!
the Mighty Mo haz a mini-me.
maaaaa! (otter can’t find keys?)
cyber-corgi haz a happy.
more of Cali’s First Dog.
Corgonymous. (memetic mutation at it’s finest.)
massive pupsqui. *faints*
Les of the Jungle PatrolApril 7th, 2011 at 9:49 am [Reply]
@gleeb (#26): To be fair to Curtis’ dad, if Grampy left him that money, he probably doesn’t owe taxes on it anyway as inheritance taxes don’t start before the amount gets quite high.
TheDivaApril 7th, 2011 at 9:50 am [Reply]
MT: Is “Dick” the guy’s name, or is Mark pissed because he was left to the elements with a gunshot wound to the head?
9CL: From this strip, I have gathered Brooke McEldowney’s turn-on’s are legs, hair, and severely neurotic behavior.
C’shaft: I’m very familiar with Cranky’s pyromania, but this OCD is new to me.
FW: This is probably a set-up for a reveal that Bull got smacked with a mop or blinded by cleaning chemicals, but I’m going to enjoy the illusion that Les is getting the crap kicked out of him for today.
Luann: Actually, Tiff’s got a point–do you really want glamor advice from someone whose sense of style peaked in 1956? Toni would have been a better choice.
MW: Okay, this is officially creepy now.
Pluggers: As if Pluggers were concerned with coordination.
Scott BotApril 7th, 2011 at 9:50 am [Reply]
@gleeb (#26): re: Zippy – I am a college educated, reasonably intelligent person, and I’ve been trying on and off to understand this strip since the early eighties, with little success. After all those years, the only reasonable explanation I can come up with is that Bill Griffith is saying ‘Gee, I don’t really have to do a whole lot here; just combine a weirdly drawn freak with a bunch of obtuse, nonsensical dialogue and non-sequitors, call it “underground,” and the intellectuals won’t be able to tell that half the time even I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. Dishonest, yeah, but it sure beats working at the 7-11.’
Or maybe I’m as dumb as I sometimes fear I am.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoApril 7th, 2011 at 9:54 am [Reply]
musical mash-up starring Snoopy.
wait ’til you see the Great Pumpkin!
(also, the “Sink the Bismarck” one by the same folks is freakin’ awesome.)
Écureuil ÉcumantApril 7th, 2011 at 9:55 am [Reply]
@gleeb (#26) on Snuffy Smif: “Snuffy rejects batiukism, and all its false promises.”
Snuffy turns next to Worthiness, whose promises may be true … but deadly.
CalicoApril 7th, 2011 at 9:55 am [Reply]
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#34):
Yeah, generally I hate Les but I’m wishing for some sort of chemical Hazmat smackdown on Bull. This could be why he lost all his hair…Oooh, burn indeed!
April 7th, 2011 at 9:56 am [Reply]
FW- Les and Bull are in the “closet” and it sounds like they like it rough.
Esther BlodgettApril 7th, 2011 at 9:57 am [Reply]
MW: Every man in the cafeteria is turning into Drew. Please tell me I’m not the only one seeing this.
LonghornApril 7th, 2011 at 9:57 am [Reply]
Uh..Mr. Trail…about those two undocumented aliens you just brought into the country, the I.C.E. would like to have a word with you.
Old School Allie CatApril 7th, 2011 at 10:00 am [Reply]
A3G -Is Margo bathrooming? I thought that was Tommie’s job!
LonghornApril 7th, 2011 at 10:01 am [Reply]
FW: Les & Bull in a closet and we hear “Slap” & “Smack” ?!? Since when did Westview become San Francisco east?
AnonymousApril 7th, 2011 at 10:05 am [Reply]
@pugfuggly (#37): MT: Yes, Mark is DEFINITLY winking at “Dick” in panel #3. But not because of what’s suggested. Mark is “winking” at the federal agent to let the agent know it is MARK TRAIL disguised as an injured gay drifter with FACIAL HAIR who can interact with other humans, both MALE and FEMALE and with a genuine smile at that! This is totally unlike the Mark Trail when NOT in disguise who only knows how to interact with giant animals, various types of plant life and the NOAC emergency broadcasting radio system.
Chip WhittleApril 7th, 2011 at 10:08 am [Reply]
Barney Google: Snuffy Smif knows there’s no such thing as a last day when you’re a legacy comic strip. Nobody tell him about Annie.
Of course, Snuffy Smif also rejects wisdom because of its implied link to having teeth.
Beetle Bailey: Cookie’s ‘Camp Swampy-Tini’ is made of meatball juice, hot sauce, and gin less for the taste and more because nobody associates any of those things with Camp Swampy, unless ‘meatball juice’ is a euphemism.
Bleeker, The Robotic Dog: For some reason the title Bot-Dog Enthusiast makes me fear they have a centerfold.
Crankshaft: I for one am shocked, shocked that Crankshaft’s infinitesimally amusing personality quirk is carried to the point of being creepy and sad and disturbing. But at least the kids are having peanut butter pizza, which is gross.
Edge City: So, ah, what tunes do you figure Len and Abby put on their mix tapes? When do songs cross the line from “romantic” to “neurotic”?
Funky Winkerbean: Comic of the week. By which I mean, comic I want to go on all week, and every week. Unless that “smack” means the bullies are kissing the urine-drenched Les.
Gasoline Alley: Oh, yeah, real slick move tricking Slim out of his money there, “Cousin” Chubby. Nobody’s managed that since the “wallet inspector” scam came through town.
AustriaApril 7th, 2011 at 10:14 am [Reply]
Arch: He’s in a boob trance. “Must, touch, boob!” The next shot is Jughead eating burgers alone in the dark and crying.
FW: Er…….um…….yeah.
Luann: Old person is awesome. Does she wear that tiara everywhere she goes? I can’t decide if that makes her more awesome or if it’s just depressing.
MG&G: TWITTER IS NOT A PUNCHLINE
PBS: “Pig gets a visit from his heat-packing sea anenome enemy.” This — right here — this is why I love this strip.
SF: Oh man, I remember that story.
Zits: Tie them to his head. Then eat him, because it means he’s lunch.
CalicoApril 7th, 2011 at 10:14 am [Reply]
@Esther Blodgett (#51):
You’re not alone – I thought Drew cloned himself just so he could get away from the pining, irritating Liza.
Oh, and did anyone else think Bil was beating the melonheads in FC? ‘Cause that’s what I thought I saw initially.
(Mashup time, PS genius kidz!)
April 7th, 2011 at 10:16 am [Reply]
FW: Les is getting beaten up we don’t get to see. The professor is sad.
MW: I’m going to go paint my house, if either of you say or think something that isn’t a mind numbing platatude or cliche, let me know.
9CL: “Sexy or horrifying, you decide” Tom Servo.
PBS: While part of me says that’s enough, i’m curious to see where he goes from here.
Esther BlodgettApril 7th, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]
Beetle: What on earth is “meatball juice”? Probably helps cover up the taste of gin, tho’…
GF: Nothing good ever comes of giving a cat a saw. Trust me on this.
MT: I’m going to pretend that several weeks of strips went missing, in which Mark’s first attempt at escape was thwarted, and he had to fight off the smugglers in a bitchin’ fistfight, and the little girl was taken hostage, and Mark had to devise a clever plan to rescue her while simulataneously rounding up all the bad guys, and they finally fled the island amid a hail of bullets and ditched the plane in the ocean and were spotted clinging to bits of the fuselage by a CIA helicopter just before it sank and were brought ashore to strains of “The Battle Hymn of the Republic.” Also, that bits of Mark’s brain were dramatically leaking out from the behind his head-bandage the whole time. That’s what I’m going to pretend.
Écureuil ÉcumantApril 7th, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]
@Chip Whittle (#56) on Crank: (the strip, that is!)
“But at least the kids are having peanut butter pizza, which is gross”
One-topping pizza is gross. Along with the PB (Jif Crunchy, I hope) it should have at least Cheez Whiz, Spam cubes, and pineapple rings.
Doctor HandsomeApril 7th, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]
I’m still less bothered by Mark’s nascent facial hair than by his Superman spit-curl.
MooncattieApril 7th, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]
MW – I’m flying to Europe this weekend, and I thought it might be fun to write down all of Dr. Drew’s lines from this past week and try them out on my flight attendant, whispering his words while sporting a big toothy grin. I’ll let you know if this gets me bumped up to first class where they can keep an eye on me!
Or I could try Nurse Liza’s lines instead, and get let off over Gander without a parachute.
RMMD – I know that I’m not supposed to cheer for the bad guys, but dammit, I’m cheering for the bad guys!
Luann – Well done, Tiff! Now go for the trifecta and ask the third judge who supplies her collagen!
Illustrator SteveApril 7th, 2011 at 10:23 am [Reply]
MT: You’ve hit the nail square on the head with your comments about Mark Trail being written by a three year old!
With many syndicated comic strips you can send a comment directly to the cartoonist thru their website. About ten years ago there was an online link to leave a comment directly with Jack Elrod’s comic strip syndicate. I left them a polite comment expressing my concern about the fact the Mark Trail story line seemed to be written by a six year old. Soon after that the website changed the it so viewers could NOT comment directly to Jack Elrod any longer! (Seems they knew it was true). But the more I thought about it, I regreted using the reference of a six year old as being the writer because at the time my six year old nephew could have written a much more intelligent and believable story line. Hell, my THREE year old niece could write a more believable story line!!!
April 7th, 2011 at 10:23 am [Reply]
@boojum (#38): I always said the name Kelly Welly had to come from a three year old.
Esther BlodgettApril 7th, 2011 at 10:25 am [Reply]
@Calico (#58): Oh, and did anyone else think Bil was beating the melonheads in FC?
That would certainly explain the look of despair on Thel’s face: “Oh, dear God, Bil, not the story of Wally Worm and the Four Warm Caves! Remember what the judge said!”
Effluvius ErratusApril 7th, 2011 at 10:29 am [Reply]
FC: “Once upon a time, there was a daddy with a magic Glock 17…”
FW: So the yellow liquid was the canola oil Bull and Funky use for lube?
GT: “Here’s a Woody Guthrie song about the plight of shortstops…”
teenchyApril 7th, 2011 at 10:31 am [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#46): No, you pretty much got it, except for adding random bits of odd architecture or advertising ephemera from around the US.
Illustrator SteveApril 7th, 2011 at 10:39 am [Reply]
MT: Okay, here it goes….
Panel #1…I KNEW it was only a matter of time before Mark got his HAND on, “HOT Lonnie Momjeans” But gee Mark, not while in a public place with her daughter watching!
Panel #2…If that illustration isn’t enough to get the censors to ban this comic strip from public view I don’t know what else is! (Someone PLEASE! alert child protection services!!)
Panel #3…That’s IT?!!! After a couple of months of this stupid story line that’s it?
They should have had little Ava in panel #3 stating the line from the old Peggy Lee song, “Is that all there is Mommy? IS THAT ALL THERE IS?”
Why do any of us continue to even LOOK at this stupid comic strip? I guess for the fun of making fun of it, why else? Oh well, time to move on to the NEXT great Lost Forest adventure so we can continue our enjoyment of being frustrated by Jack Elrod’s lack of talent!
Chip WhittleApril 7th, 2011 at 10:41 am [Reply]
Gil Thorp: “Thanks, Coach Alcala! You work us to the point of heat stroke on a whim just like Coach Thorp would!”
Judge Parker: “You can’t have a relationship until there’s a conversation.” Who would have thought of all the comic strips out there, Judge Parker would be the first to have sensible dating advice?
Mary Worth: Either these two have no idea who the other is and are trying to extend the conversation with bland nothings until someone drops a hint, or they’re both trying to set up some elaborate con and are waiting for the other to give an opening for the hard sell, or they’re hoping if they studiously ignore the ventriloquist’s dummy in the first panel he’ll go away.
Pluggers: the first big decision of the day is which suspenders to choose. Their last big decision of the day is whether to wear them or if they’ll just slow down the buffet dining.
Spider-Man has trained Mary Jane to take abduction in a playful, lighthearted manner.
teenchyApril 7th, 2011 at 10:42 am [Reply]
Luann: Prediction: Judges disqualify all contestants except Crystal and Bernice for obvious cameltoe.
ArgonApril 7th, 2011 at 10:46 am [Reply]
(@mark Trail)
“oh,by the way…I was shot in the head and left for dead with no medical care at all…(John Astin voice on)..BUT I’m FEELING MUUUUCH BETTER NOW!”
Best if used before 1973April 7th, 2011 at 10:50 am [Reply]
MT – In picture three the cartoonist must have accidently left off the last letter of the word which appears as, “you”. The correct word should have obviously been “YOUR” rather than “you”, and without a comma after it.
But What Do I Know?April 7th, 2011 at 10:54 am [Reply]
@boojum (#38): You’ve cracked the code! This is exactly how it went down! COTW nominee and presumed frontrunner. . .
FafMorApril 7th, 2011 at 10:59 am [Reply]
Phantom: “Well, if you’re not going to have the decency to shoot me, to Hell with you! *POW* *BIFF* *BAM*”. The rats prefer their meat tenderized anyways.
Jim NorthApril 7th, 2011 at 11:00 am [Reply]
A3G: Trey is here! What fortuitous luck! Margo already has all her killin’ implements ready!
Crank: “He once spent a week standing there with a stopwatch . . . working with us to get our times down. Obviously we killed him after that. Murdered, I should say. But then we felt a little bad about it and built the android to replicate his behavior. We’ve started feeling less and less bad about it since then.”
DT: I never thought I’d live to see the day Weird Al would turn to evil, and yet here we are.
FW: OH THE LIGHTHEARTED WHIMSY
Can’t we just go back to watching Summer work out her knee? It’s . . . soothing.
MT: Holy crap! They just took off and then immediately they’re right back in the States, safe and sound?! I think I got whiplash from that jump cut!
MW: Oops, looks like Nurse Pixiecut accidentally got the roofies in both their drinks.
Phantom: Wait. Wait wait wait. Wait wait wait wait wait wait. Hold on just a second. Wait.
. . . what the fuck.
S-M: *SNAP* “Ah, dammit. Killed another one. I’ve really gotta stop doing that.”
But What Do I Know?April 7th, 2011 at 11:02 am [Reply]
@Longhorn (#52): Lonnie MomJeans and her daughter will only be allowed into the country by proving they have found employment. Mark will take them back to the Lost Forest where LMJ will do all the cooking and cleaning and will be unable to leave without being deported. One day, Otto will crash land his plane nearby and LMJ will help him on the condition that he takes her back to Smugglers Island. . .
MaryAnnTheRestApril 7th, 2011 at 11:04 am [Reply]
FW: I predict Les has ambushed Bull and all of the bullies will bow down to Les’s awesomeness. He’ll be made Prom King and the retcon will be complete. The arc will end with Bull telling Summer how Les taught him how to be a better person. Then bad pun, smirk, and Summer’s leg amputation.
MT: You know what this storyline was missing? B.A. insisting he wouldn’t get on the plane without a milkshake.
Little Blue BicycleApril 7th, 2011 at 11:05 am [Reply]
That’s not Trey, it’s the Coast Guard.
Jim NorthApril 7th, 2011 at 11:14 am [Reply]
@MaryAnnTheRest (#78): Y’know, if they did amputate Summer’s leg, Batiuk would never be able to show her and Becky together in the same strip, ever, or the entire comic would explode.
ARGH! I just had the image pop in my head of him using the two of them to make an “arm and a leg” pun. Get it out get it out GET IT OUT!
wossnameApril 7th, 2011 at 11:17 am [Reply]
@boojum (#38): COTW!
MibbitmakerApril 7th, 2011 at 11:17 am [Reply]
A3G, above: …Not as gross as your term for sex sans partner (after “commode or”), Josh!
Eau de PluggerApril 7th, 2011 at 11:21 am [Reply]
Wait…so Margo cleaned the fridge and scrubbed the oven with a toilet brush?
.
.
.
.
AWESOME!
April 7th, 2011 at 11:22 am [Reply]
If Mark Trail were Funky Winkerbean, the big arrow labeled “TERMINAL” would be foreshadowing.
Scott BotApril 7th, 2011 at 11:23 am [Reply]
A3G – ‘Who is it?’ ‘It’s the plumber, I’ve come to fix the sink.’ (obscure Electric Company reference there)
@teenchy (#68): Thanks, I appreciate it, I thought it was just me.
KatyApril 7th, 2011 at 11:23 am [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#15): You are very much not the only one seeing that. In fact, what with the word “malleable,” the coach’s facial expression in Panel 1, and ohGod the player’s ecstatic “Thank you!” in Panel 2, I feel … dirty. And strangely moved. And looking forward very much to Friday.
At least I’m not fantasizing about Sophie’s nascent woohooloozooboos in Judge Parker. That’s gotta be a plus. Right?
MibbitmakerApril 7th, 2011 at 11:23 am [Reply]
Oversnarpologies….
Other Coast: Hey, I’ve seen that 1981 SNL short film! (“C-I-L-L… your land…lord!”)
RMMD: The irony, it burns!
Popeye: Why do I suddenly feel the need for a cup of coffee? I don’t even drink coffee!
PBS: Pastis, you are the Anti-Crankshaft! LONG LIVE GOOD WORDPLAY!
Best if used before 1973April 7th, 2011 at 11:27 am [Reply]
@boojum (#38): Comment #64 is actually my reply to your comment #38. (Sorry, when I sent it I forgot to use the “reply” feature. But the fact remains, you DID hit the nail o the head! Your senerio of the Mark Trail story line was well stated. YOU THE BOSS! The Comic Curmudgeon Champ of the month for certain, maybe for the YEAR since it will be hard to beat what you wrote! (Could someone PLEASE get message #38 to Jack Elrod? PLEASE? It is important for him to know the tragic truth about he’s being decades past what should have been a FORCED RETIREMENT for him AND his stupid comic strip!!)
Jim NorthApril 7th, 2011 at 11:29 am [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#85): *bing bong* “Burglar!”
@Katy (#86): Aw, man, why’d you have to go and mention Sophie’s whatnots?! Now I have to go flog myself until the unclean thoughts are purged yet again . . .
MibbitmakerApril 7th, 2011 at 11:32 am [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#85): re:A3G: I’ve been making that reference alot since the early ’70s, myself!
NS: Danae is turning into Zippy!
Btw, Wiley, the word “weirdness” isn’t, itself, funny.
MG&G: FAR more devestating than the whole lame storyline of MW’s
pathetic preachy propaganda! Easily!
MW: Everyone’s a sappy robot * zombie ** in this furshlugginer strip!
rembrandt36April 7th, 2011 at 11:32 am [Reply]
9CL: Personally I love Seth beating the hell out of her self esteem and ego. This is the only thing Brooke does right. Oh, and the cat.
teenchyApril 7th, 2011 at 11:32 am [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#85): Ya betcha. If I knew how to search for my previous posts, I’m pretty sure I outlined a formula sometime back for a Zippy random quote generator, featuring non sequiturs, pop culture references and the aforementioned architectural oddities.
Best if used before 1973April 7th, 2011 at 11:32 am [Reply]
At which point Rusty the mutant will show serious interest in little Ava, which will lead to harsh legal reprocussions followed by years of therapy and counciling for both of them. His for being so damn ugly and for little Ava because of being so frightened by Rusty’s hidious appearance, and following her everywhere around Lost Forest along with his stupid little dog who keeps trying to sniff her!
Chip WhittleApril 7th, 2011 at 11:34 am [Reply]
Brevity: Finally, someone has the courage to make fun of newspaper horoscopes and the literally dozens of readers who see them as anything more than slight human-interest bits in the Features section.
Cow and Boy: I’m liking saber-toothed Cow. But I like regular Cow too, so, mostly I just like this strip.
Luann: I still can’t get over how important a story this is what with every female character appearing together.
Soup to Nutz: I didn’t have deranged parents. Did anyone have parents who’d do something like this?
KatyApril 7th, 2011 at 11:34 am [Reply]
@Jim North (#89): Huh huh.
You said “flog myself.”
Huh huh huh huh huh.
Mysterious Shirtless LawyerApril 7th, 2011 at 11:34 am [Reply]
Mark is so glad to have escaped … from Lonnie!
Écureuil ÉcumantApril 7th, 2011 at 11:36 am [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#67) on FW: “So the yellow liquid was the canola oil Bull and Funky use for lube?”
Fitting if true, since “canola” is an advertising neologism comprised of “Canada” + “oil” — the common name of Brassica napus being “rape”.
KatyApril 7th, 2011 at 11:37 am [Reply]
@Chip Whittle (#94): Well, … yeah. My mom would have wanted to do that. And my dad would have suggested that she use roach powder. He would have thought it was funny, and she would have thought he was serious, and they would have had a conversation about what “funny” is. And so the long day would have worn on.
Artist formerly known as BenApril 7th, 2011 at 11:37 am [Reply]
DtM: It only looks like Dennis is being more menacing than usual. In reality Mr. Wilson is being taunted by the Angel of Death, who’s donned a sawed-off and towheaded disguise for the occasion.
DT: After Diet Smith fired ponytailboy here, he put “change the locks” on his to-do list. Sadly he can’t read his own handwriting.
9CL: Edda’s really going all out on Project Seduce Gayish Roommate. I wonder what whatsisface would say about this. You know, glasses, plays some kind of instrument? The guy!
GT: Hey, send in the clones! I look forward to the revelation that Alison’s “mom” is a renegade geneticist lab-creating the perfect softball team, player-by-player.
Crock: Importing an alligator to the Sahara just so he can kill or maim a couple of his own Legionnaires? Crock may be a bastard, but you can’t accuse him of being a cheap bastard.
Baldo: No, you needed to add disinterest, dumbass.
S-M: After all, what woman doesn’t enjoy her husband hoicking her eight feet off the sidewalk without warning? Hey, maybe she dislocated something. That’s always romantic.
MW: Oh, wouldn’t you know, Liza forgot to bring a pair of scissors. How is she supposed to get a lock of Drew’s lacquer black hair for her shrine? Ah well, she’ll have to wait til tomorrow.
Uncle LumpyApril 7th, 2011 at 11:38 am [Reply]
Replica Commodore 64, on the off-chance somebody here might be interested.
gnome de blogApril 7th, 2011 at 11:38 am [Reply]
@wossname (#17):
Old Dick Tracy + Mark Trail = Phantom. Q.E.D.
April 7th, 2011 at 11:41 am [Reply]
MT: Dick: “Omigod! Y-you’ve got another, secret family?! That’s not good, Mark!” And too close to the Cherry-Kelly thing, too!
Luann: Mrs. Horner! At last, a likable character in Luann!
HotC: And the cult gets another member! Sad.
FW: You know, all the 1972-92 Bull v. Les beatings used to be — oh, I dunno — FUNNY!!!!! ? Of course, real life bullying isn’t funny, either, but, dammit, you insist on destroying even your GOOD era of FW, Batty! STOP IT!
Effluvius ErratusApril 7th, 2011 at 11:42 am [Reply]
@Chip Whittle (#70):
Spider-Man has trained Mary Jane to take abduction in a playful, lighthearted manner.
Staying cool while being kidnapped is a crucial skill to have if you’re going to be romantically involved with a superhero, even one as un-super as newspaper Spider-man. Heck, you probably need it all the more if Peter Parker’s the guy you have watching your back.
On a slightly different topic, I hope that’s one of Venom’s webs and that Peter will have to content with two unrelated, nonsensicle plots, moaning all the while about missing TV and nappy-time. And then just as he’s about to make headway in rescuing MJ, Doc Ock will kidnap Aunt May, but before he can even get started on that, Paladin will show up and start murdering businessmen Punisher-style. Enter Frank Castle ultraviolently stage right to “investigate” who’s murdering (seemingly) innocent people in his name. While Peter’s trying to keep a lid on all of this, the Hand will show up, kidnap Matt Murdock, and take over the rackets in Hell’s Kitchen, sparking a ninja vs. thug gang war with the Kingpin. HYDRA decides this is a perfect opportunity to start blowing up famous New York landmarks, starting with a massive jailbreak at Riker’s Island, unleashing all of Peter’s previous foes back onto the street. Meanwhile, the Rays continue to dominate the American League, sweeping the Yankees in a seven-game series of no-hitters—all the nefarious doing of Molecule Man. Luke Cage and Iron Fist are over in the Wildstorm universe doing a crossover with Grifter, and just when Peter finally has the idea that maybe he could get some help from the Fantastic Four, Avengers, or X-Men, Skrull warships appear over Earth’s majors cities, tying up those teams for the foreseeable future. Shortly after that, a reprogramed Sentinal attuned to seek mutates (as opposed to mutants) rises from the East River specifically looking for Spider-man. Oh, and Jonah Jameson fires him for not getting a single picture of any of this happening.
Now if anyone complains that this is a silly/ridiculous idea to pile unresolved plot upon unresolved plot, I can only respond: (A) It’s no more ridiculous than any other plot, resolved or otherwise, in newspaper Spider-man, or any regular superhero comic for that matter, and (B) Peter will always have something to do beside take naps and watch TV for at least 20 years’-worth of dailies.
Illustrator SteveApril 7th, 2011 at 11:43 am [Reply]
MT: (panel #2) “The Coast Guard will help you connect with your family”.
????
Hmmm, that must mean the Coast Guard has clairvoyants on staff to hold seances to help families connect with a family members. Who in this case happens to be Lonnie’s (AKA Momjeans) husband. Who, according to her, was KILLED by Otto!!!
April 7th, 2011 at 11:45 am [Reply]
@Katy (#95): No no wait, you see, I meant with the barbed whi- ah, who am I kidding. I’ll be in my bunk.
Illustrator SteveApril 7th, 2011 at 11:46 am [Reply]
MT: ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
There, THAT about sums it up regarding any further questions I may have about these stupid Mark Trail story lines!
MibbitmakerApril 7th, 2011 at 11:47 am [Reply]
Archie: Hey, a bee has to virtually force you to swat it so it can sting you.
Between Frien.: “I know how to make chicken teriyaki, except everything you need to do to make chicken teriyaki — ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.”
DT: Harold Ramis GONE BAD!!!
commodorejohnApril 7th, 2011 at 11:47 am [Reply]
A3G – It’s fitting that the buzzer in Margo’s apartment looks like a wall fixture from the Death Star. [*]
A.D. – B.C. gives us the modern newspaper industry in a nutshell. Peter’s gotta make room for more ads, B.C.! Whaddya want he should do?
BB – Well this makes perfect sense.
C&B – Oh, come on, now! The iPad isn’t bad just because it’s new! The iPad is bad because it’s locked down by a company so controlling it makes anal-retentive public-school Supervisors of your Children’s Every Move Everywhere at Any Time Ever look lax! (And also because tablets are just laptops that some dumbass has chopped the keyboard off of, but that might just be me.)
Crankshaft – And that’s probably that, so back to your typical Crankshaft aggravation!
Curtis – Yeah, Status Quo is gonna be knocking on their door any minute now.
DT – Holy mother of God is the art good.
FW – I don’t care what sudden ironic reversal comes tomorrow: this is Les getting the crap beat out of him, and I’m going to savor it.
GT – Is she…is she going to build a baseball-themed army and become Milford’s first supervillain? God, I hope so.
H&L – Whoa! Sudden atypical camera angle! What do you think you are, not a legacy strip?
JP – A-yup, Sophie gots a profile now. Baretto must be so proud.
Love Is… – still has no earthly idea how to draw buttocks. It’s seriously not that hard, guys.
Luann – Oh joy of joys, time for more flogging of the strip’s designated Awful, Awful Popular Kid.
MT – Mark looks like he’s going to pass out in that last panel. It’s just lucky he functions so well with a bullet in his brain head, or they’d never have made it this far.
MW – Okay, seriously, she’s freakin’ me out.
OBH – Well, now, that all depends on the school, Ruthie.
Phantom – Christ, what an asshole.
RMMD – Come on, Pie Waitress! Bring this chump back to the light! The light of pie!
SF – Scratch my previous theory, are we sure Sally isn’t Ted in a wig?
SM – Speaking of artificial hair, when did Charley Smith dye his hair and start going by “Vince?”
Edison Lee – What a piece of shit.
Scott BotApril 7th, 2011 at 11:49 am [Reply]
@Katy (#86): Oh, jeez – thanks a lot. That’s all I need, another distraction at work. I’m gonna try real hard not to think about any of that right now…
Artist formerly known as BenApril 7th, 2011 at 11:51 am [Reply]
@Jim North (#76):
Phantom: Wait. Wait wait wait. Wait wait wait wait wait wait. Hold on just a second. Wait.
. . . what the fuck.
That about sums it up, yes.
DoodApril 7th, 2011 at 11:54 am [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#103): And Ann-Marie Hoag, Robin Chapel, John Porter, Lenny Balinger and the rest of the Damage Control team will be on the job, cleaning up that humongous mess. Remember John Porter, the account executive’s, presentation of a clean-up bill to Dr. Doom? “You’ll pay for this, Doom!”
MibbitmakerApril 7th, 2011 at 12:00 pm [Reply]
Dilbert: Workday At Bernie’s
FC:
BOOKS versus VERBAL?
(P.D.Q. News Service) — The Books v. TV War took a strange turn today as books were pitted against another form of storytelling art cherished by the book side of the conflict. It would be considered “divide and conquer” by TV, if not for the fact that TV and books are not, in fact, enemies in a culture war. “It’s all good”, says a spokesman for TV viewers, “except for advertising, of course. Commercials suck, as a general rule.”
ReFOOB: Sometimes you’ve got to earn your cross-to-bear, Ellie.
Alfred E. NeumanApril 7th, 2011 at 12:02 pm [Reply]
A3G— Josh, that object in Margo’s hand is not a toilet brush, nor is it an archaic masturbatory aid. It’s actually the notorious Merkin-On-A-Stick, by Ronco. It comes in various colors, and today Margo is feeling Mary Worth-ish.
DoodApril 7th, 2011 at 12:02 pm [Reply]
Even toilet brushes bristle in Margo’s presence.
This GuyApril 7th, 2011 at 12:03 pm [Reply]
Agnes: Uh… “Things John Hodgman Would Never Say!” Uh… hell. Pass.
CtH: Okay, this comic is going in the trash. One of these days the art will be so repellent it’ll just make me vomit on my keyboard, and that ain’t worth it.
gnome de blogApril 7th, 2011 at 12:04 pm [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#103):
The Rays’ pitching isn’t what is once was.
April 7th, 2011 at 12:06 pm [Reply]
@Illustrator Steve (#106):
Elrod’s true genius is that every new story is the stupidest one ever. Think about that for a second.
April 7th, 2011 at 12:06 pm [Reply]
@boojum (#38): You know, you’re right. That whole plot really did have the same pacing and coherency of a young child telling a story.
Frank Lee MeidereApril 7th, 2011 at 12:09 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#46): Well, that sums it up for me.
JasperApril 7th, 2011 at 12:12 pm [Reply]
MT- Shot at, winged, adrift, hiding out on a hot tropical island, taking a piece from Lonnie, building set on fire, daring escape in a plane, days without grooming and all that’s out of place with Mark are two hairs on his forehead?? No stench lines eminating from his armpits?
“See ya’ll. I’ll just panel jump my way back to Lost Forest as if nothing happened, get intimately unfomfortable with Cherry for 5 minutes and come up with an excuse to abandon Rusty, Cherry and the Doc for another month.”
A3G- Eww, Margo cleaned the fridge, oven and Tommie’s tooth brush with a toilet brush.
Alfred E. NeumanApril 7th, 2011 at 12:17 pm [Reply]
@Captain Plaid Pants (#18) said Re: FW— “@Écureuil Écumant (#10): Well, we have the holy trinity of fluids to choose from: Blood, Urine, and Semen. It’s a real toss-up for me.”
Hey, this is Les you’re talking about, so don’t forget Vomit and Diarrhea.
gnome de blogApril 7th, 2011 at 12:17 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#31):
What about:
Funky Winkerbean – OW! AHHHHH!!
What does AHHHHH!! mean?????
gnome de blogApril 7th, 2011 at 12:18 pm [Reply]
Give him the famous Anthony Caine titty-twister, Les!
MibbitmakerApril 7th, 2011 at 12:20 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#108):
Curtis: “Mom and Dad, Derrick and ‘Onion’ just stole our identity on our school’s computer! We’re now financially ruined, and all those payment checks bounced!”
Barry: “For no reason!”
Curtis: “Hey, I know you’re upset now, Dad, but don’t light that deadly cigarette!”
Greg: “Oh yeah?! Well, don’t you dare crank up any rap junk, either! How you like that?”
Curtis: “The hell with THIS! I’m going to see my girlfriend Michelle — if Chutney doesn’t hound me out of existance first!”
The Barber (poking his head through the open window): “Go for it, Chutney!”
Curtis: “Curtis.”
TOMORROW: Flyspeck Island “solution” to the Wilkins’ money problems…
True FableApril 7th, 2011 at 12:27 pm [Reply]
Is there anything Luann’s Mrs. Horner can’t do? Other than avoid being in this strip, that is.
CalicoApril 7th, 2011 at 12:30 pm [Reply]
@Esther Blodgett (#60):
You wrote
“Beetle: What on earth is “meatball juice”? Probably helps cover up the taste of gin, tho’…”
I don’t think I want to touch that one, with a thirty-nine and a half-foot pole! Or at all…
True FableApril 7th, 2011 at 12:30 pm [Reply]
Children of the Circle “Mommy, look! Daddy’s using hand gestures to show us what that mean ol’ proctologist did today!”
carbunicleApril 7th, 2011 at 12:33 pm [Reply]
I think you are being a little hard on Mr. Wilson. I see his eyes glaring directly at Dennis, although the marks indicating his pupils are very small indeed.
Walker of DogApril 7th, 2011 at 12:41 pm [Reply]
@Écureuil Écumant (#14):
As Piss Week dribbles and jiggles towards its zip-up, B&C raises the ante with unspeakable filth.
Ugh. I fold… I FOLD!
@Anonymous (#42): I’m surprised you didn’t cast Rusty in the role of Medusa. Oh wait, wrong story.
Little GuyApril 7th, 2011 at 12:43 pm [Reply]
@boojum (#38): Your daughter is a literary genius!
FW: …and from the plunger handle, Bull got the cancer that took decades to develop….
Baka GaijinApril 7th, 2011 at 12:43 pm [Reply]
@Dennis Jimenez (#20): “Margo dons her bun and scepter…” It’s an even better to imagine Queen Elizabeth donning her opera length rubber gloves, bun, and loo scepter. The economy is tough all around.
@CanuckDownSouth (#24): Platitude-palooza World Finals. I am totally there. I’ve begun drinking melted wax to gird my digestive system against the undesired effects of salmon squares and Potato-Ade©.
@gleeb (#26): “You know, having killed off a character, and that his main antagonist, Adams will now have to do something inventive with his little puppet show.” It’s the world’s smartest garbage man and his reanimation rolly bin. Wanna bet?
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#34): “Les’ idea of an ambush involves slapping Turk in the face while squealing ‘Leave me alone, you brute!’.” Stolen from Queen Elizabeth’s Big Book of Self Defence, Volume II.
@boojum (#38): How many hot dog carts can we attach to the COTW float? This week we’ll need at least 2.
@Mooncattie (#63): You picked a good weekend for Europe. It’s warm and mostly sunny except in the plain. In Spain. Where it may rain. Again.
@commodorejohn (#108): Don’t censor yourself. Share your unhindered adoration of all iThings with us.
@Alfred E. Neuman (#113): “Merkin-On-A-Stick, by Ronco.” What I miss by not living in the US. On second thought, I don’t think I want to see THAT infomercial.
wossnameApril 7th, 2011 at 12:47 pm [Reply]
@Illustrator Steve (#69): Re MT, this story line isn’t quite over. Remember (and I hope Elrod does, too) that Cherry and Kelly Welly are still waiting together at Camp Seabreeze for Mark’s return. (I am disappointed that my scenario where Cherry and Kelly saw him arrive home with Lonnie and Ava in tow came to naught.)
Baka GaijinApril 7th, 2011 at 12:52 pm [Reply]
Pluggers: It doesn’t really matter what color clothes he wears; dogs’ vision is color-impaired.
Rose is Rose: Can we get Rose transferred to Dick Tracy, circa 5 months ago? Kill da karazzeee bitch already.
gnome de blogApril 7th, 2011 at 12:56 pm [Reply]
@wossname (#132):
Yeah. Ain’t it amazing how Elrod seems to avoid all of the really interesting story possibilities? Like Momjeans vs. Cherry & Kelly. Or Mark having to talk his way out of drug-smuggling charges, especially since he’s in the presence of a federal agent and still bearing a feloniously stubbled face.
April 7th, 2011 at 12:57 pm [Reply]
Luann: “For that sass, Missy, I’m going to duct-tape your boobs to your ears,” is what Mrs. Horner should have said.
Beetle Bailey: Tomorrow, Beetle, doing his best Minister of Funny Walks walk, walks into sick call with third-degree burns to his external genitalia.
bbofunApril 7th, 2011 at 1:05 pm [Reply]
I think Jack Elrod finally broke his fever, read the last few months of strips, and said “What the hell have I been doing? This makes no sense! Where’s the smuggling plot? Who’s the MILF? How did mark drift to an island from a lake? After being shot in the head? I better just finish this off and move onto something new. No one will ever notice.”
SoccerheadApril 7th, 2011 at 1:06 pm [Reply]
MT: Mark pilots the plane from an unknown island in the Caribbean to Florida in about 5 panels?
Is this island 2 miles off our shores?
GT: I’m so confused already, I read Al-Jo’s response in the last panel as “…plasma four.”
I’m a bit confused because the hometown daily has placed “Brevity” in “the Buckets”‘ spot, but still has the Buckets heading.
April 7th, 2011 at 1:10 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#135): Yikes. But his internal genitalia are OK, right?
gleebApril 7th, 2011 at 1:12 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#131): “It’s the world’s smartest garbage man and his reanimation rolly bin. Wanna bet?”
Ugh, even worse than I imagined. No bet, you’re probably right.
ZaratustraApril 7th, 2011 at 1:14 pm [Reply]
“Come on up, whoever you are! Just follow the rose petal trails and discarded clothing to… oh, it’s you, Trey.”
Scott BotApril 7th, 2011 at 1:19 pm [Reply]
A3G – ‘I will clean it, with my spear and magic hair bun!’
littlestevieApril 7th, 2011 at 1:22 pm [Reply]
JP: Talk about intimidation in P1, poor Sophie is trying to keep up as best she can
bats :[April 7th, 2011 at 1:24 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#43): re OZ: hmmm, thata IS suspicious…
@Gloom Raider (#2), @Best if used before 1973 (#73): uh, yeah.
Effluvius ErratusApril 7th, 2011 at 1:24 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#131):
@Alfred E. Neuman (#113): “Merkin-On-A-Stick, by Ronco.” What I miss by not living in the US. On second thought, I don’t think I want to see THAT infomercial.
Is that the one hosted by Brad Delp and where he sings “More Than A Merkin”?
Looked down this morning, looked like my junk was gone,
I groped my crotch to see if I was okay,
I lost myself touching my dong,
I closed my eyes and I slipped away…
It’s more than a merkin (more than a merkin)…
Oh, wait. That was for Tony Robbins’s “Merkin Dreams: Financial Security Through Softcore.”
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 7th, 2011 at 1:35 pm [Reply]
@gleeb (#26): I’m thinking the Dilbert resolution will involve necromancy or Asok’s mysticism.
Gump WorsleyApril 7th, 2011 at 1:36 pm [Reply]
Mary Worth is far too subtle for me — does this woman like the doctor or not?
odinthorApril 7th, 2011 at 1:36 pm [Reply]
@Esther Blodgett (#51):
It’s the Mary Worth take on the opium-dream sequence in the ballet La Bayadère, except with different music. Well, and brighter lighting. They changed the costumes as well. The gender, too. Edgier choreography. And the stories aren’t the same, either. Aside from that, however, I almost can’t tell the difference. Well, maybe a little. Sigh, OK, maybe it’s more like The Green Table.
Scott BotApril 7th, 2011 at 1:38 pm [Reply]
MT – That was a narrow escape, Mark, you were almost killed. Next time, you’ll know better than to go off alone without the other Wonder Pets to help. After all, what’s gonna work? Teamwork!
The PloughmanApril 7th, 2011 at 1:43 pm [Reply]
If the purpose of Margo’s long-handled implement is indeed masturbatory, her protective gloves and reference to “all the ugly jobs” suggests medical problems or some unnecessary aggression on her part.
ChipperApril 7th, 2011 at 1:43 pm [Reply]
A3G – “Is that you, Trey?” No! It’s Margo’s gallery guy former fiance’ who was left for dead in Tibet (or was it Nepal?). After using her latex gloves to confirm he is not acting as a drug mule she promptly puts him to work cleaning the oven.
Chip WhittleApril 7th, 2011 at 1:44 pm [Reply]
@Aaaaaaaaaviatrix (#145):
I’m thinking the Dilbert resolution will involve necromancy or Asok’s mysticism.
I’m thinking it’ll involve revealing the Pointy-Haired Boss wasn’t dead but did enjoy the experience, filling everyone with a sense of eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew.
Bo Nanas has valuable health tips for Westview, by the way, which should make Pouty McThiefboy What’s-his-name’s career of petty delinquency easier too.
Compu-Toon almost gets to an actual joke and then fumbles it on the goal line.
UncleJeffApril 7th, 2011 at 1:45 pm [Reply]
@littlestevie (#142): Give her a year or two, some newly activated hormones and maybe a visit to Abercrombie & Fitch’s tweener bikini store.
MT: And so we say farewell to one of this strip’s best supporting characters — Lonnie MomJeans. I hope you enjoy your stay in the USA in one of our ICE hospitality suites.
(Personally, I think that wasn’t Mark at all but former pro wrestler Razor Ramon on a weekday pass from the outpatient facility)
April 7th, 2011 at 1:45 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#108):
Tiffany isn’t even popular. All this story proves is that she has no friends except for Crystal (whom I doubt she spends time with after school). She’s supposedly dated some football players but the only boys we ever see are Skater Boy, Cosplay, and Australia.
ElkMeadowApril 7th, 2011 at 1:46 pm [Reply]
@This Guy (#y267):
Wow, what are the odds of that happening? I thought the title would have been something far more complicated.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoApril 7th, 2011 at 1:50 pm [Reply]
having earwormed myself with the aforementioned “Sink The Bismarck” tune, I feel compelled to make a few historygeek comments.
The Bismarck was not “the fastest ship to ever sail the sea.” Ignoring the entire class of cruisers, which by definition were supposed to be faster than the larger capitol ships, the Bismarck wasn’t even the fastest capitol ship in her own navy. The German Twins Scharnhorst and Gneisenau were faster, as were the four Japanese Kongos and (probably) the British battlecruisers Renown and Repulse. However, none of these ships had anything near the Bismarck’s size, firepower or especially protection. It took several more years for the US to have anything faster, with the Iowas.
The Bismarck was the “biggest” ship with the “biggest guns” in the Atlantic, but both the US (Colorado class) and Japan (Nagato class) had larger gunned battleships decades prior to the Bismarck. Size-wise, the later Iowas were slightly larger, and the Japanese Yamato and her sistership were much larger.
I now return you to your regularly scheduled comics snark.
ElkMeadowApril 7th, 2011 at 1:53 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#15): Archie – I sometimes think that the only reason I even bother with this strip is for the hot hallway chicks and the occasional perverted mascot sighting.
The Archie strip’s fashion sense is way better than anything in Evansverse. And Evans admits to hanging around high schools for research purposes to see what the girls are wearing. I made my own clothes when I was in my teens, and would use Archie comics for ideas. There were vests, lots of vests at the time.
I remember being bummed when I went to high school and found out we didn’t have a costumed mascot, period.
DoodApril 7th, 2011 at 1:53 pm [Reply]
Maybe Margo is wielding her as-seen-on-TV bun brush. “Are you tired of struggling with brushing your bun? You need the new, easy-to-use bun brush! The inner bristles are perfect for brushing your bun!”
ElkMeadowApril 7th, 2011 at 1:54 pm [Reply]
@wossname (#17):
IRS, nothing. Wait until the cousins find out!
ArchieNemesisApril 7th, 2011 at 1:57 pm [Reply]
Eau de Plugger and Jasper and Patrick:
This A3G strip is about a week late, but it depicts Margo’s annual April Fool’s Day prank, where she rubs a toilet brush over everybody’s food and all the cooking surfaces. It’s always good for a laugh when she tells them later!
Baka GaijinApril 7th, 2011 at 1:58 pm [Reply]
@Walker of Dog (#138): “But his internal genitalia are OK, right?” Tune in on Saturday to see the exciting conclusion to this gripping storyline!
@gleeb (#139): I hope I’m wrong. Maybe it’ll involve a malfunctioning Xerox machine’s high voltage arc reanimating PHB a la Frankenstein.
@Effluvius Erratus (#144): That’s a nightmare producer, there.
@odinthor (#147): The Green Table must be the boring repetitive table.
@The Ploughman (#149): Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#155): Was the Bismarck full of squee? That’s the question.
terrapinApril 7th, 2011 at 1:58 pm [Reply]
Luann: Do it Mrs Horner! DO! IT!
BB: I have to admit, I chuckled when I saw Sarge’s goggle-eyed, fire breathing expression. Sarge in pain. Now that’s funny!
Crankshaft: Yeah, paranoid schizophrenics usually are control freaks so that fits.
MT: “Yeah well…” Thinks Elrod “…still a few loose ends but what the hell I’m bored and it’s time to move on. Have I used Kelly Welly lately? What the hell. (Talks while typing) Kelly tags along on Mark’s fishing trip, Cherry is furious…(Stops typing) Ha ha. How do I come up with these?”
LiamApril 7th, 2011 at 1:59 pm [Reply]
Marmaduke-Not shown is the horrific mauling Marm and his owner are fleeing from.
Jim NorthApril 7th, 2011 at 2:04 pm [Reply]
Regarding Dilbert’s Pointy-Haired Boss, there have been storylines before where he’s been supposedly killed, mostly by something happening to his brain. In one such bit of continuity, his brain had to be completely removed, but this didn’t stop him from spouting out random business buzzwords at the top of his lungs. He’ll almost certainly wake up here soon and comment about how all the sawdust tickles.
@The Ploughman (#149): When it comes to Margo, the aggression – whether self-applied or otherwise – is never unnecessary.
ElkMeadowApril 7th, 2011 at 2:05 pm [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#99):
MW: Oh, wouldn’t you know, Liza forgot to bring a pair of scissors. How is she supposed to get a lock of Drew’s lacquer black hair for her shrine?
From the same outfit that gave Mahbud Mudhen Draco’s wife a whole skein of Aleta’s hair for her spell-casting. Now how to keep the witchcraft in Prince Valiant from cross-universing over to Mary Worth and back again, that is the challenge!
Spy vs SpyApril 7th, 2011 at 2:06 pm [Reply]
@bbofun (#136):
A reliable source that requests to remain annonomus claims that what you said is almost EXACTLY what Jack Elrod said! Except for the last part about moving on to something “new”. What Elrod is reported to have actually said was that he will now, “MOVE ON TO SOMETHING ELSE I CAN STEAL FROM DODD’S 1959 FILES”!
April 7th, 2011 at 2:06 pm [Reply]
@Uncle Lumpy (#100):
Will it be able to take the black floppy disks? I think we still have “Midnight Rescue” around here somewhere.
commodorejohnApril 7th, 2011 at 2:06 pm [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#156): Hey, wait, what if the perverted mascot is Greg Evans?
Scott BotApril 7th, 2011 at 2:09 pm [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#156): That’s interesting, I had always heard that Archie comics were pretty good at keeping up with fashion. After all, there’s gotta be a reason they still sell so well, it certainly isn’t the compelling plots, sparkling dialogue or splendid characterizations.
I don’t hang around high schools like Evans does (and I don’t even wanna think about how creepy that sounds), but I live a couple blocks from the high school in our town, and see the kids walk by occasionally. Evans isn’t even close to getting it right.
We never had a costumed mascot, either. We didn’t even have a mascot. Our school nickname was the Dodgers; and since no one there was ever quite sure what a Dodger was, we just said to hell with it.
ElkMeadowApril 7th, 2011 at 2:09 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#155):
My small-town radio station used to play that almost every day.
AnonymousApril 7th, 2011 at 2:12 pm [Reply]
Phantom: Ah, doing what I love best – punching and showing me off that fine stripey ass. Aaaah.
And hey, Luann? Why does Mrs. Horner with her beauty crown look like Pigita?
BootsyApril 7th, 2011 at 2:12 pm [Reply]
Aargh! 170 was me!
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 7th, 2011 at 2:13 pm [Reply]
@Esther Blodgett (#60):I was just about to post asking someone to forward me all the missing Mark Trails. It must be a couple of weeks’ worth, what with position-finding, navigation, landing an unfamiliar airplane, and clearing customs and immigration with two undocumented aliens and an airplane containing residues that get the attention of the dogs.
I think I’ll pretend that the swelling in Mark’s brain is causing this hallucination of an anticlimatic conclusion to his trip, a vignette in sharp contrast to the reality that awaits him.
ElkMeadowApril 7th, 2011 at 2:14 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#168):
Archie would also publish reader’s fashion creations, and I believe still does. Evans did that more than 20 years ago, when Luann went to her one and only prom, but that was then, this is now.
bats :[April 7th, 2011 at 2:17 pm [Reply]
@Gump Worsley (#146): I think she’s playing hard-to-get. Otherwise, she’d be lying naked on the cafeteria table in front of Dr. Drew, decorated with salmon squares and Potato-Ade shots, Nyataimori-style…
Oooh. Mouth. Vomit.
boojumApril 7th, 2011 at 2:18 pm [Reply]
@Bootsy (#171): We know. You had us at “stripey ass.”
Actually, with all the lovingly cropped views of the Phantom’s loins this week (front and back), I’ve been thinking, “I hope Bootsy’s catching all this!” Fan service, indeed.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoApril 7th, 2011 at 2:18 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#160): depends on your feelings about German sailors, I guess. (or nowadays, about barnacles)
Pseudo3DApril 7th, 2011 at 2:21 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#108): Re: FW: Yup, I suspect that Batiuk’s going to use retconned teen Les beating up Bull instead.
It’s just like how we able to believe, for a few days last December, that Les had failed to heed Ghost-Lisa’s commands and perish in a plane accident.
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 7th, 2011 at 2:23 pm [Reply]
S-M: The grin on her face suggests an answer to both the question of why she stays with him, and why Peter Parker is always napping.
Scott BotApril 7th, 2011 at 2:23 pm [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#173): That would explain why all his characters look like they just got back from a Nirvana concert.
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 7th, 2011 at 2:24 pm [Reply]
FW: In any other comic strip, we’d criticize as “too obvious” tomorrow’s reveal that the bully is the one being injured. But as this is FW, we’re willing to accept unblinkingly that Les is being violently sodomized and left for dead. It’s writing when you make your comic so horrible that a lame joke is so unexpected as to be funny.
commodorejohnApril 7th, 2011 at 2:24 pm [Reply]
@Uncle Lumpy (#100): AAAAHHHHHHRRRGGGGHHH!
Uh, I mean, in my perfectly objective opinion:
It’s an overpriced mid-range PC in a novelty case running an operating system and a C64 emulator you can get for free, produced by a company that’s been nothing but douches to those of us in the CBM/Amiga community. It’s easy enough to gut a broken C64 and put a picoITX board in it yourself…
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 7th, 2011 at 2:33 pm [Reply]
Phantom: Finally someone unleashes the Fist o’ Justice! Punch, Phantom, punch! With any luck, the impact will smash through to Liza in Mary Worth. Anything to stop her from thought babbling.
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 7th, 2011 at 2:33 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#181): But would it have a white cord?
boojumApril 7th, 2011 at 2:44 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#181):
It’s easy enough to gut a broken C64 and put a picoITX board in it yourself.
Uh… yeah! Why I was just about to do that very thing, over lunch, but I didn’t have my right blindfold, to make it really challenging…
Must I always feel, around here, like I’ve sat at the smart kids’ table by mistake?
Peanut GalleryApril 7th, 2011 at 2:44 pm [Reply]
MT – More information about exactly how to obtain permission to land and disembark from a small aircraft, after an unauthorized flight from an unidentified drug-smuggling island to Miami, without passports, is not available on the internet.
MaryAnnTheRestApril 7th, 2011 at 2:46 pm [Reply]
@Jim North (#80): I’m really sorry about that. I hope to god it doesn’t go down like that.
@Scott Bot (#168): Our HS team was the Phantoms, so we could have had a costumed mascot. How would I be able to tell?
Actually I always thought Archie was about 10 years behind in fashion, based on what I see my family wearing. What really kills me though is when we see Archie trying to fix his own car. Do the kids do that anymore? I’d be sad if that era was over.
commodorejohnApril 7th, 2011 at 2:50 pm [Reply]
@boojum (#184): Aww, don’t feel bad. You’ve probably got the social skills to compensate ;p
Esther BlodgettApril 7th, 2011 at 2:51 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#160): Was the Bismarck full of squee? That’s the question.
Five internet dollars to the first person to post a picture of a German battleship with an all-Corgi crew!
Cooler KingApril 7th, 2011 at 2:55 pm [Reply]
FC: Don’t let Daddy fool you, Dolly. Most of his original stories are just bedtime adaptations of his favorite Public Enemy songs.
FC Alternate Snark Number 1: “…and they called it ‘The Aristocrats’!”
FW: And here I thought that today’s Family Circus was sure to win whatever the Comics version of the Emmy is for “Most Awkward (Un)Intentional Undertone Involving a Minor or Dog”.
MW: I really haven’t been following this strip all that long, so forgive me if this has been obvious to you all for ages, but there’s honestly nobody in this town that isn’t completely and utterly batshit nuts, is there?
Scott BotApril 7th, 2011 at 2:59 pm [Reply]
@MaryAnnTheRest (#186): Well, someone looked up the Brooklyn Dodgers and found out that they were named that because the fans had to dodge city traffic to get to the stadium. However, we lived in a rural community, and dodging farm tractors really didn’t have the same dramatic impact as dodging taxis and streetcars.
And yeah, kids still work on their cars themselves. Despite computer controls and more compact engine compartments, there’s still a ton of stuff you can do to save money fixing your car yourself. Believe me, I know.
ElkMeadowApril 7th, 2011 at 3:00 pm [Reply]
@MaryAnnTheRest (#186):
What really kills me though is when we see Archie trying to fix his own car. Do the kids do that anymore? I’d be sad if that era was over.
Come to think of it, Brad hasn’t been doing that for a while.
Baka GaijinApril 7th, 2011 at 3:01 pm [Reply]
@Cooler King (#189) on Mary Worth: Let’s see. Charlie the Letch was somewhat normal. Etta the anti-Mary was pretty close to normal as deluded old ladies go. The gardner, what’s his name? Paco del Token? He was normal.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoApril 7th, 2011 at 3:04 pm [Reply]
@Esther Blodgett (#188): here’s the battleflag, for it, at least.
Buck RipsnortApril 7th, 2011 at 3:05 pm [Reply]
FWIt’s writing when readers actively HOPE for something awful to happen to the main character, whether it be death or violent oral sodomy.
commodorejohnApril 7th, 2011 at 3:09 pm [Reply]
@Buck Ripsnort (#194): It’s not like they’re mutually exclusive…
PoteetApril 7th, 2011 at 3:10 pm [Reply]
@Aaaaaaaaaviatrix (#172): Your explanation is much more likely, but I prefer to pretend that Mark found some way to actually time-warp, and that he might reveal the secret in time for me to use it the next time I’m due for a colonoscopy.
Dr. WeirdApril 7th, 2011 at 3:13 pm [Reply]
FW
An idea for the artistically talented mashup people: Try replacing the photo corners in the recent FW bullying flashbacks with a dark, jagged border that evokes the violence in the strips themselves. That’d be an interesting effect, I think.
Esther BlodgettApril 7th, 2011 at 3:21 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#193): IWANTTHAT
LiamApril 7th, 2011 at 3:21 pm [Reply]
Rose is Rose-I have heard of grammar Nazis but this is ridiculous.
AustriaApril 7th, 2011 at 3:24 pm [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#166): You have Midnight Rescue? SHARE! We used to play that almost every day in second grade…
@Scott Bot (#168): re Archie: I have a glass I got at an antique store, probably from the ’70s or something, and from what little I know about fashion, it looks pretty era-accurate. *grabs* Yep, it’s from 1971 and Reggie has a vest, stripe-ed pants, and fringed boots. Don’t get me started on Archie’s ascot and plaid pants. Betty and Veronica kind of look like they could pass for modern students, albeit very fashionable, college-age students.
April 7th, 2011 at 3:25 pm [Reply]
@MaryAnnTheRest (#186):
What really kills me though is when we see Archie trying to fix his own car. Do the kids do that anymore? I’d be sad if that era was over.
It ended when you started having to hook your car up to a computer to diagnose a problem. I’ll never forget the first time my mechanic blithely told me they’d fixed a problem by “re-booting” the engine’s computer.
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 7th, 2011 at 3:25 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#196): “The next time I’m due for a colonoscopy.”
I didn’t realize you lived in Westview.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoApril 7th, 2011 at 3:25 pm [Reply]
while I’m ranting, I’d also like to point out that there is ZERO historical evidence of the use of alligators as substitute artillery pieces at the Battle of New Orleans, but I’d love to see the Mythbusters try to recreate it. . . . .
Scott BotApril 7th, 2011 at 3:29 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#203): Hey, historical records from that era were spotty at best…
Rocky StoneaxeApril 7th, 2011 at 3:30 pm [Reply]
@MaryAnnTheRest (#186), @Scott Bot (#190), @ElkMeadow (#191):
A lot of Baldo strips revolve around a Latino teenager by the name of Baldomero ‘Baldo’ Bermudez and his ongoing efforts to build his own lowrider. A contemporary of Archie, he has a part-time job at an auto supply shop called Auto Y Rod.
This GuyApril 7th, 2011 at 3:34 pm [Reply]
Commodore 64? Pssh. I had a way worse computer when I was a kid, man. A TI-99/4A. That’s only 14 numbers above the calculator I used in high school (which I still have and which still works, incidentally.) That motherfucker ran on cartridges, dammit. TI thought writable media were a goddamned luxury.
KatyApril 7th, 2011 at 3:37 pm [Reply]
@This Guy (#206): We used to dream of computing in a Commodore.
That was way funnier when I said it in my head while dressed like Eric Idle. Honest.
CyranettaApril 7th, 2011 at 3:46 pm [Reply]
MW: Although the dialogue is somewhat mind-numbing to begin with, I’m also distracted by the strange proportions of the table (it looks narrow enough that their knees would have to be placed side by side) and the man at the end (either the table is 20 feet long or the man is a Liiliputian).
BootsyApril 7th, 2011 at 3:47 pm [Reply]
queek and Scott Bot – when the British soldiers “ran through the bushes where the rabbits wouldn’t go”, the rabbits wouldn’t go there because of the alligators. Thus, the British soldiers indeed were eaten by alligators. Or by pirates. I know there were pirates at the Battle of New Orleans.
boojumApril 7th, 2011 at 3:48 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#204): And even spottier after the gator blew its mind…
BootsyApril 7th, 2011 at 3:49 pm [Reply]
@boojum (#175):
Aaaww! You noticed! It’s good when one’s little obsessions are spotted by others. I was so proud the day Josh mentioned by fixation with the Phantom’s fine fine ass in an actual post. My mom was too. I didn’t point it out to Mr. Bootsy.
Baka GaijinApril 7th, 2011 at 3:53 pm [Reply]
@This Guy (#206): Cartridges? We didn’t have no steenkin’ cartridges. We had to type our own programs and record them onto a cassette tape recorder. No Wumpus for us.
ElkMeadowApril 7th, 2011 at 3:53 pm [Reply]
@Bootsy (#209):
And that’s from the song, “The Battle of New Orleans,” another fine selection from your friends at KJDY, John Day, Oregon! Next up, “Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport”
Rocky StoneaxeApril 7th, 2011 at 3:55 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#174):
I’d love to be a fly on the wall when Dr. Drew wakes up in bed with a naked Sushi… after he gives Liza the old heave-ho. And if you knew Sushi like Drew knows Sushi:
http://www.tvworthwatching.com/contributors/Archer-Lana-FX.jpg
boojumApril 7th, 2011 at 3:57 pm [Reply]
@Mibbitmaker (#87):
Black dog barkin’ in the dead of night —
Kill my landlawd;
Kill my landlawd.
Black dog barking — Do he bite??
Kill my landlawd;
Kill my landlawd.
C – I – L – L.
My land. Lawd.
April 7th, 2011 at 3:58 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#214): Excuse me… naked from the waist down!
CanuckDownSouthApril 7th, 2011 at 4:03 pm [Reply]
I’m suddenly wondering just what Margo has to clean up with medical latex gloves. And if the artist doesn’t have a clue what household cleaning gloves look like … oh, ewwww.
This GuyApril 7th, 2011 at 4:05 pm [Reply]
@Katy (#207): Well, when I say “computer,” it was only an abacus strapped to a Lite-Brite, but it was a computer to us.
(*)
kkarenbApril 7th, 2011 at 4:09 pm [Reply]
FW – Les isn’t being beaten up, nor is he beating up Bull. Bull is pretending to beat up Les by making slapping and smacking sounds behind the closed door. This retconning will explain why the two get along well now, and why Les has not gone after Bull with an axe.
commodorejohnApril 7th, 2011 at 4:19 pm [Reply]
@This Guy (#206): Heh, yes. (It’s too bad the rest of the computer was such a kludge, because the TI-99’s CPU was actually pretty interesting – they took one of their business minis and fun-sized it. Would’ve been a piece of cake to implement a proper OS on if they’d only had decent hardware in the rest of the thing.)
Rocky StoneaxeApril 7th, 2011 at 4:25 pm [Reply]
@gnome de blog (#122):
What about:
Funky Winkerbean – OW! AHHHHH!!
What does AHHHHH!! mean?????
Spoken/shouted/screamed dialogue isn’t really a sound effect… or is it? However, I’m guessing the words “Open wide and say…” preceded the “AHHHHH!!”
Scott BotApril 7th, 2011 at 4:26 pm [Reply]
FW – I think that what happened is that Les showed Bull the error of his ways, but they couldn’t not do anything because Bull had a reputation to maintain. While they were trying to figure it out, Les hits his eye on a cabinet door, and they decide to tell everyone that Bull hit him, and Bull wouldn’t lose his cool.
Oh, sorry, wait a minute. That was an episode of Happy Days. Never mind.
Uncle LumpyApril 7th, 2011 at 4:29 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#192):
CARLOS ALORA, dammit! And he’ll be back someday, I just know it!
SequelManApril 7th, 2011 at 4:34 pm [Reply]
Pibgorn – It’s so weird to see Ms. Suck-U-Bus drawn in an S+M-ish orgasm… all carefully, tenderly, lovingly airbrushed and glowing highlighted curves and sextipia-ed fingers and arched back and pointy tongue of it all… and then you get to her face… her closed eyes, etc… and there’s no shadowing or feeling… all we get are Momma/BeetleBaily/Ziggy line drawings. It’s like her body is the deep end of the pool, but by the time you get to her chinless face, we’re splashin’ in the kiddie end. It just seems so half-assed. It takes it from art to fetishism. Whatever. Mr. Devilhooves creeps me out, regardless.
kkarenbApril 7th, 2011 at 4:41 pm [Reply]
@SequelMan (#224):
I can’t bring myself to look at this, but I have commented before about McE’s lovingly, exquisitely detailed women’s bodies compared to barely sketched faces. I think you’re correct that he has a fetish about women’s bodies. My interpretation is also that he sees women as nothing but objects. I find this very off-putting, not to mention creepy.
April 7th, 2011 at 4:41 pm [Reply]
@SequelMan (#224): McE in a nutshell, ladies and gentlemen.
commodorejohnApril 7th, 2011 at 4:42 pm [Reply]
@kkarenb (#225): Jinx!
Frank Lee MeidereApril 7th, 2011 at 4:54 pm [Reply]
@This Guy (#206): @Katy (#207): In the mid-sixties I got my first personal computer. It consisted of a stack of plastic cards and had stiff wires at the back which could be connected or disconnected from the cards. On the front was a “readout” in which a series of zeros and ones could appear. You set up the question by arranging the wires, Then pulled something which manipulated the cards and gave a readout. The readout had to then be interpreted according to a little book that came with it.
Loved that computer. I just did a search on Google using “1965 toy computer” and got a Wikipedia article on it, complete with photo. That’s my old computer! It was a Digi-Comp I.
Never had to worry about a power outage.
KatyApril 7th, 2011 at 4:56 pm [Reply]
@SequelMan (#224): Your comments sent me over there to see. Now I can dismiss Pibgorn from my world forever. It’s fanfic illustrations drawn by that one guy in your math class who was really good at art and totally going to get a job doing games straight out of high school and when he did, he was gonna kick his boss at Whataburger’s ass on the way out of town.
gnome de blogApril 7th, 2011 at 4:58 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#168):
“Dodgers” is short for “Trolley-Dodgers,” which apparently described fans headed to Ebbetts Field to see the Brooklyn Robins about a century ago. I’m not sure when the Robins became the Dodgers but I think it was some time in the 19-teens. I’m too lazy to look it up.
Thank God we didn’t have a costumed mascot either. We were the Apollos. Still are, as my high school still exists – unlike my grade school, which is now a Home Depot.
gnome de blogApril 7th, 2011 at 4:59 pm [Reply]
@Anonymous (#170):
When you get to be Mrs. Horner’s age you’ll know.
April 7th, 2011 at 5:00 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#228): *That* is *cool.* What a fantastic thing. I bet those go for a billion dollars now on the collector’s market, which is a real shame because I want one NOW to play with.
I remember trying to explain to someone half my age what “Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate” was, and why spindling was bad. And I gave up after realizing that understanding punch cards meant understanding an entire culture that no longer exists. And now I just realized that the person who was half my age back then is probably the parent of a preteen by now. I’m going to totter off to the Senior Center and ask them to turn up the volume of the TV now.
gnome de blogApril 7th, 2011 at 5:04 pm [Reply]
@MaryAnnTheRest (#186):
Our HS team was the Phantoms, so we could have had a costumed mascot. How would I be able to tell?
He would have had a stripey ass, of course.
Matt McIrvinApril 7th, 2011 at 5:06 pm [Reply]
I thought Zippy was pretty funny back in the Eighties: the early book “Are We Having Fun Yet?” is worth looking at. There were characters and incidents other than Zippy talking to giant advertising signs. Bill Griffith was already clearly a bitter crank to some degree, but it hadn’t soured the whole thing.
Unfortunately, he ran out of material pretty quickly, and he’s been stuck in a loop for the past 20 years.
ElkMeadowApril 7th, 2011 at 5:06 pm [Reply]
@Katy (#232):
I had one in all of my stuff, and showed it to my kids. They still aren’t sure what to make of it.
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 7th, 2011 at 5:07 pm [Reply]
@Katy (#232): Make sure it’s not tuned to one of those immoral shows with all the bang bang music and the swearing.
MibbitmakerApril 7th, 2011 at 5:10 pm [Reply]
@boojum (#215): “boojum” and “Mibbitmaker” will have to be changed to “Norman Mailer”. (idea submitted by Jack Henry Abbott)
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 7th, 2011 at 5:12 pm [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#235): I had a class once on the evolution of data storage media and the professor brought in this big box and kept pulling stuff out of it to illustrate his talk. He had knotted quipu, a clay tablet with cuneiform writing, a papyrus scroll, books, punch cards, mag tape and more sizes of floppy disks than you can imagine. I’m not really sure they’ve beaten the clay tablet yet, for secure storage, but it’s hard to do a nightly backup.
Esther BlodgettApril 7th, 2011 at 5:16 pm [Reply]
@This Guy (#218): Oh, you had straps. We had to pull out our own intestines, clean ‘em off, and tie ‘em around our abacus. And we were glad to have it!
Joe BlevinsApril 7th, 2011 at 5:17 pm [Reply]
Today’s ZOMBY: 411 is a joke!
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 7th, 2011 at 5:17 pm [Reply]
@CanuckDownSouth (#217): There are people who use disposable gloves for all such tasks. I think it’s a combination of having a roommate who can get them free at work, not wanting to stick your hands inside regular gloves after they’ve been used earlier, and being a serial killer.
MibbitmakerApril 7th, 2011 at 5:17 pm [Reply]
@Matt McIrvin (#234): I generally agree, though I really like the Zippy talking to advertising icons of yore stuff. The Dingburg stuff ruins it somewhat for me. Having not really read Zippy before recent years (catching the odd strip on occasion before that), is this Dingburg thing recent, or does it go back further?
Having just Zippy (and his family) works better, leaving it as a pinhead observing the existing culture in his scewed way.
MibbitmakerApril 7th, 2011 at 5:18 pm [Reply]
Skewed, I mean.
Francisco ArrowrootApril 7th, 2011 at 5:20 pm [Reply]
So are we to understand that “cleaning the fridge” is Margo’s preferred onanistic euphemism? Then what the hell does “scrubbing the oven” refer to? You know what, never mind. I don’t want to know. I’m just intrigued as to why she’s wearing gloves to do it.
jnobleApril 7th, 2011 at 5:20 pm [Reply]
MT: “It’s nice to see you, dick” THATS WHAT SHE SAID! HAR HAR HAR……HAR?
Fashion PoliceApril 7th, 2011 at 5:21 pm [Reply]
@kkarenb (#225):
There is much about Monsignor McEldowney that is off-putting, not to mention creepy. One wonders if his not-infrequent rendering of lovely dresses (Miss Burber’s current attire not included – entirely lacking in subtlety) is worth the price one pays.
April 7th, 2011 at 5:23 pm [Reply]
Beetle Bailey: Cookie takes his drink-mixing cues from the new My Little Pony cartoon, apparently.
Curtis: Um, hate to burst your bubble there, but I think inheritance money is already tax exempt unless it’s an absolutely absurd amount (in which case it’s subject to its own special tax). But go ahead and keep believing you’re stickin’ it to The Man.
Funky Winkerbean: OK, let’s go over this again. “AAAAAAAH” is screaming; “AHHHHHHH” is a sigh of pleasure. I thought everybody knew this.
Hi and Lois: I keep looking at that punchline and wondering if there’s something the writers thought was especially funny about the phrase “Best Rock Album.” Because there’s no real reason for it to be there, and also the punchline isn’t funny.
One Big Happy: Heh heh. Well, these days, I almost wouldn’t be surprised.
Pluggers wear suspenders as a fashion choice, apparently. This guy is already wearing a belt, and from the looks of that waistline, it’s not necessary either!
Shoe: That’s what she said. To you. Last night.
Frank Lee MeidereApril 7th, 2011 at 5:23 pm [Reply]
@Katy (#232): I just found a YouTube video of a Digi-Comp in operation (just counting to 7), and at the end they say “look for it on e-bay.” Who knows?
I wish I still had mine, but that disappeared many, many, many moves ago.
Uncle LumpyApril 7th, 2011 at 5:30 pm [Reply]
@Katy (#232):
Fifty bucks. A hundred it you want to spring for original packaging and all that collector schtick.
CalicoApril 7th, 2011 at 5:32 pm [Reply]
@Écureuil Écumant (#61):
Peanut butter pizza, Meatball (gin and) juice.
Sounds like it’s time for another “Hell’s Kitchen signature dish” scene!
April 7th, 2011 at 5:34 pm [Reply]
@Matt McIrvin (#234): I’d also recommend the anthology “Zippy Stories” which collects all of the earliest (pre-1980) Zippy comics. The art is great and the stories are much darker and raunchier than the dailies. Even though Griffith has been strip mining some of that earlier material for decades now (for instance, I’ve lost count of how many times he’s done the “I fell in love with a pinhead, and he made a fool of me!” soap romance comics parody at this point), it still packs a Yow! in its original sweetened, condensed form.
SequelManApril 7th, 2011 at 5:35 pm [Reply]
Yenny – I just started looking at a strip called Yenny… about an (to use Elton John’s phrase) Island Girl who wants to become a model, but she has trouble finding work because of her big feet… she does have BIG feet. It’s drawn in a kind of interesting urban wall mural way (sorry, I don’t know the proper terms for modern graphic arts). Thing is, I read that the strip is/has come from a tickle-fetish comic thing… different characters have these birth marks that apparently are real ticklish… and that’s why Yenny has big feet, and so on… geez… I guess I’m a Plugger or somethin’ cause it seemed unusual for there to be a crossover from the world of comic-fetishism and ‘mainstream’ strips. Maybe this IS what Brooke is after? If so, he’d better start putting his Dagwood sandwich where his teethy mouth is… are… oh, fugedaboudit… I’m going back to Scary Gary.
KatyApril 7th, 2011 at 5:36 pm [Reply]
@Uncle Lumpy (#249): Holy shit! I am trying to figure out which of the many geeks in my family deserves that most!
ShrugApril 7th, 2011 at 5:49 pm [Reply]
@Alfred E. Neuman (#121):
@Captain Plaid Pants (#18) said Re: FW— “@Écureuil Écumant (#10): Well, we have the holy trinity of fluids to choose from: Blood, Urine, and Semen. It’s a real toss-up for me.”
Hey, this is Les you’re talking about, so don’t forget Vomit and Diarrhea.
********
And of Snot and Pus you say nothing?
demoncatApril 7th, 2011 at 5:49 pm [Reply]
margo doing the house cleaning means she has finaly become human. that or she is planning to have trey finish up including the bathroom since house work Margo saves for luann. mr wilson face is saying surely i could claim insanity if denis were to have an accident at my hands.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoApril 7th, 2011 at 5:53 pm [Reply]
@Bootsy (#209): there were pirates.
ShrugApril 7th, 2011 at 5:55 pm [Reply]
@UncleJeff (#152):
“(Personally, I think that wasn’t Mark at all but former pro wrestler Razor Ramon on a weekday pass from the outpatient facility)”
Come to think of it, Rusty does look a bit like Razor/Scott Hall’s sidekick Sean Waltman…
word-doctorApril 7th, 2011 at 6:02 pm [Reply]
@Gump Worsley (#146):
I’m in awe of the Gumper. Much bigger favorite than Gary “Scoop” Edwards.
bats :[April 7th, 2011 at 6:04 pm [Reply]
@SequelMan (#224): correction…crappily-rendered devil/goat/satyrhooves.
MayzshonApril 7th, 2011 at 6:07 pm [Reply]
@Pseudo3D (#177): I only read FW sporadically, but was the “mystery Ghost-Lisa” phone call ever explained? Or even mentioned again?
commodorejohnApril 7th, 2011 at 6:08 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#259): Gasp, shock. You mean he was too busy drawing the wankable parts (by his definition, anyway) that he didn’t bother to put in effort on little details like clearly visible differences from human anatomy? Unfathomable.
J.D. RhoadesApril 7th, 2011 at 6:09 pm [Reply]
@Aaaaaaaaaviatrix (#238):
I’m not really sure they’ve beaten the clay tablet yet, for secure storage, but it’s hard to do a nightly backup.
Not if you have slaves to work all night copying them.
ShrugApril 7th, 2011 at 6:10 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#212):
“@This Guy (#206): Cartridges? We didn’t have no steenkin’ cartridges. We had to type our own programs and record them onto a cassette tape recorder.”
Luxury, luxury. We had to carve our programs on the inside of the case, shake it until it activated, and then pick up all of the resulting electrons and glue them into the shape of the output desired.
bats :[April 7th, 2011 at 6:12 pm [Reply]
@Shrug (#254): Bile and Phlegm?
ShrugApril 7th, 2011 at 6:14 pm [Reply]
@gnome de blog (#230):
“Thank God we didn’t have a costumed mascot either. We were the Apollos.”
My high school was the Parkers; you’d think the nominal mascot would have been a couple in the back set of a jalopy, but in fact it was a penguin. (Nobody portrayed same in costume, however.)
Frank Lee MeidereApril 7th, 2011 at 6:15 pm [Reply]
@Uncle Lumpy (#249): Yep, that’s it. Makes me feel all nostalgic inside. As a kid, I wanted to build a larger model, but never got around to it.
plain bellied sneetchApril 7th, 2011 at 6:23 pm [Reply]
MT: The US Coast Guard-relocating and protecting the escaped former slaves of offshore drug lords since…uhm, since Mark Trail decided that’s what the Coast Guard is for.
boojumApril 7th, 2011 at 6:23 pm [Reply]
@Mibbitmaker (#237): Yes, and Eddie Murphy’s brilliant young Jailhouse Poet was the true victim…
CharterstonedApril 7th, 2011 at 6:28 pm [Reply]
A3G Housecleaning Haiku
Margo cleans the stove
And refrigerator with
Dirty toilet brush.
April 7th, 2011 at 6:33 pm [Reply]
@gnome de blog (#230):
“Dodgers” is short for “Trolley-Dodgers,” which apparently described fans headed to Ebbetts Field to see the Brooklyn Robins about a century ago. I’m not sure when the Robins became the Dodgers but I think it was some time in the 19-teens. I’m too lazy to look it up.
Please just note that every story about baseball team names prior to the age of relocation and expansion has been simplified and embellished to the point that you should disbelieve anyone, even Cecil Adams, who tells you when a team got a nickname or why it was so. The best you can honestly say is at some point fans started calling the Brooklyn National League team the Dodgers and also they took that as the organizational name and got trademarks on it and everything. Believe nothing without abundant primary source citations.
The only part of baseball even more kludged over with myths than team names is stories of the origin of baseball, which has nothing to do with Abner Doubleday (but got assigned to him for really weird reasons that, no joke, plunge you into the politics of late 19th century American-Versus-English rivalries and Madame Blavatsky’s followers), nothing to do with Alexander Cartwright, and nothing to do with “rounders” either.
Frank Lee MeidereApril 7th, 2011 at 6:39 pm [Reply]
@gleeb (#26):
Between Enemies of Humanity: In which we learn that this woman is purposefully not teaching her children to cook, so they will become fat and unhealthy on teevee dinners later.
No, she’s just not willing to release even a small part of her responsibilities because if she did, she wouldn’t be able to complain about everyone depending on her.
Little Blue BicycleApril 7th, 2011 at 6:45 pm [Reply]
@Chip Whittle (#270): The team in Brooklyn adopted Robins in 1916 in honor of the new manager, Wilbert Robinson, and only went back to Dodgers in 1933 once he was out of the picture.
Effluvius ErratusApril 7th, 2011 at 6:50 pm [Reply]
@gnome de blog (#230): Thank God we didn’t have a costumed mascot either. We were the Apollos.
Now that’s one mascot who would’ve needed a merkin.
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle PatrolApril 7th, 2011 at 7:01 pm [Reply]
FW — Maybe, just maybe, Les kicked Bull in the balls, causing his sterility (and eventual testicular cancer)…
bats :[April 7th, 2011 at 7:02 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#271): Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Give the man a ceegar!
God, I loathe that strip…
April 7th, 2011 at 7:21 pm [Reply]
@SequelMan (#252):
I was reading Yenny. Can’t remember why I stopped….
gnome de blogApril 7th, 2011 at 7:26 pm [Reply]
@Chip Whittle (#270):
This is the West, sir. When legend becomes fact, print the legend.
- the newspaper man in The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance
There is a point where myth acquires value. There is also a point where myth, having acquired value, becomes dangerous. I’m sure you can think of several examples. However, for something as trivial as a baseball team’s name I’m not going to worry about it very much.
Abner Doubleday is not mentioned anywhere in the Baseball Hall of Fame, which is located in his home town largely because his was the accepted baseball creation myth in the 1930s. Alexander Cartwright, who was from New Jersey, is. However, he is credited with developing the game in more or less its modern form, not with creating it.
I’ll start getting exercised about this stuff when the HOF gives credit to the idiot who invented the Designated Hitter, whoever he was, or to Bowie Kuhn. And as far as I’m concerned, when Edgar Martinez, Eddie Murray, Frank Thomas, Harold Baines, Paul Molitor and anyone else who achieved a significant portion of his career profile as a DH get into the HOF their plaques should only be displayed every ninth day.
End of rant. Sorry I got off subject there.
PoteetApril 7th, 2011 at 7:32 pm [Reply]
@Aaaaaaaaaviatrix (#202): I’m sure Mark will never need one, but I will.
Jim NorthApril 7th, 2011 at 7:51 pm [Reply]
@Mayzshon (#260): No, and if there’s any mercy left in Batiuk’s black, shriveled soul, it never will be.
gnome de blogApril 7th, 2011 at 7:52 pm [Reply]
@Shrug (#265):
Too bad nobody thought to portray Spider-Man’s wife is your costumed mascot.
Seriously though, IMHO Parkers isn’t nearly as stupid as Apollos. In fact, it’s not stupid at all; it has a certain cachet.
commodorejohnApril 7th, 2011 at 7:54 pm [Reply]
@Jim North (#279): if there’s any mercy left in Batiuk’s black, shriveled soul
PffffffffffffhahahahahaHAHAHA that’s a good one. No, seriously, expect him to pull out some equally retarded elaboration upon that storyline next time interest in Funky Winkerbean wanes – he’s going to keep jamming in Ghost Lisa until there’s no possible way we could mistake it for anything other than the delusions of an insane narcissist suffering undiagnosed, untreated depression direct post-mortem intervention of his Great American Tragedy victim in the life of her husband, the Most Special Person on Earth.
April 7th, 2011 at 7:54 pm [Reply]
I’ve started doing the Jumble on Shockwave. It’s a nice interface and fun to race the clock to win bonuses, but why do they cover up the cartoon as soon the puzzle is complete? Don’t they want us to take time to enjoy the artwork?
gnome de blogApril 7th, 2011 at 7:55 pm [Reply]
@Shrug (#265), @gnome de blog (#280):
How could I forget? Your mascot coulda been a judge…
April 7th, 2011 at 8:24 pm [Reply]
Don’t want to be left out of the classic-computer-conversation: we had a Radio Shack TRS-80 Model 1… When I was 12, my parents and I went to the movie theater at the mall (which was unusual for us all to go, but we were fogging the house for bugs and had to stay away for 4 hours) and saw “Raiders of the Lost Ark”. Afterward we had some more time to kill, so we went in to Radio Shack to buy a couple of AA batteries – and left with a computer. So totally awesome!
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 7th, 2011 at 8:33 pm [Reply]
@carlag8r (#284): I remember looking at computers in Sears with my parents and asking the guy who was promoting them how to make it say “hello” when I turned it on. He said that was very advanced computing, and instead wrote a program similar to
10 PRINT HELLO AVIATRIX
20 GOTO 10
I don’t remember if I was impressed or not.
I saw Raiders of the Lost Ark in the theatre and it was soooo scary I had to cover my eyes a lot.
DaggerApril 7th, 2011 at 8:35 pm [Reply]
I think what Margo meant to say was, “Oh God, my hand! Trey! The intercom that I stole from that mummy’s tomb! They said the curse wasn’t real…”
LiamApril 7th, 2011 at 8:45 pm [Reply]
Curtis-Get ready to see this story repeated ad nausum.
This GuyApril 7th, 2011 at 8:47 pm [Reply]
@Aaaaaaaaaviatrix (#285): I learned a bit of BASIC when I was a kid (it was one of the things the TI-99 could actually do, although not necessarily well.) I got magazines with listings for BASIC games in them and I would type them in, line by line, and hope like hell I hadn’t made a mistake. And of course, there was no real non-volatile storage in the damn thing, so once I powered the computer off, they were gone forever.
When I was in college, I picked up a book by Richard Dawkins (The Blind Watchmaker, I think) and he described doing a version of the infinite monkey theorem using a BASIC program to generate random text. He called BASIC “a kind of computer baby talk.” That stuck with me as being a very, very accurate description.
April 7th, 2011 at 8:49 pm [Reply]
@kkarenb (#225): Yeah. I could be wrong, but isn’t there some sort of psych theory that men who draw women’s bodies with great detail but leave their faces blank are potential serial killers/sex criminals?
Baka GaijinApril 7th, 2011 at 8:51 pm [Reply]
@Hank (#289): And really tiresome to read.
HankApril 7th, 2011 at 8:53 pm [Reply]
Guys, I hate to have to say it, but all this talk about old computers and how the new generation doesn’t “get it,” makes each and every one of you sound like geek-plugger.
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 7th, 2011 at 9:03 pm [Reply]
@Hank (#291): We’re not implying you don’t get it. What’s not to get? These “computers” have less computing power than your toaster. It’ll be this way when you someday find people who are old enough to have also owned a first generation iPad, back when they didn’t even have a teleport function.
@This Guy (#288): I was way ahead of you. We had a cassette drive that would have a fifty-fifty chance of storing your program such that you could recover it later. But no teleport function.
commodorejohnApril 7th, 2011 at 9:03 pm [Reply]
@Hank (#291): Well, speaking only for myself, I’m a mere 25 and I agree entirely. There’s a vast gulf between the “computers as information appliances” theory of operation on modern systems and the “holy shit COMPUTERS, let’s figure these things out” view that is too quickly becoming a thing of the past, and it seems that it’s difficult to appreciate the latter if it’s not how you were introduced to them (as I so fortunately was.)
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 7th, 2011 at 9:08 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#293): It’s similar to the rebooting your car problem. As the devices get more complex, the chance of learning by tinkering recedes. How about making a lamp?
Peanut GalleryApril 7th, 2011 at 9:14 pm [Reply]
@Uncle Lumpy (#100): Cool, but not quite retro enough. Let me know if they rig up a way to run Commodore Basic on, say, a 1956 Underwood typewriter.
Pseudo3DApril 7th, 2011 at 9:26 pm [Reply]
9CL: I can’t tell if Seth is being a pretentious jerk or is bluntly stating the obvious.
kkarenbApril 7th, 2011 at 9:28 pm [Reply]
@Hank (#289):
That would not surprize me. In McE’s case, the difference between the meticulously detailed bodies and the barely sketched, unattractive faces is just mind-boggling. The cover of his book is a perfect example, not that I want to pimp it by drawing attention to it. Not to mention that the women who are supposed to be so beautiful and alluring have such unpleasant personalities. The man has serious issues. But what do I know – I’m just a beefwit.
April 7th, 2011 at 9:31 pm [Reply]
@Aaaaaaaaaviatrix (#294): Yes and no. Even today’s computers are open for tinkering on the software level, at least – it’s just nobody but the hardcore nerds bothers to try anymore. Pity, too – I learned more about programming trying to roll my own X, Y, and Z in C than I ever did messing around with BASIC.
Jamus The BartenderApril 7th, 2011 at 9:42 pm [Reply]
Luann: I’m sure this goes without saying, but I love Mrs. Horner. And i’m kind of hoping she goes all Buffy Summers on Tiffany.
Rocky StoneaxeApril 7th, 2011 at 9:44 pm [Reply]
Baka Gaijin: This one’s for you!
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/3/3e/The_Clown_Murders_Poster.jpg/220px-The_Clown_Murders_Poster.jpg
Jamus The BartenderApril 7th, 2011 at 9:45 pm [Reply]
Sally Forth: * lets out a long, low whistle*….whoa….I hope Ted’s job is somehow indispensable…
Jamus The BartenderApril 7th, 2011 at 9:47 pm [Reply]
MW: Whoa. Liza’s gonna steal some of Drew’s hair and build a shrine of some kind, isn’t she?
Jamus The BartenderApril 7th, 2011 at 9:48 pm [Reply]
JP:”…also, unbutton one or two top buttons. Give him an idea of what he’s gettin’. But don’t give it away all at once. Make him work for it. “
Jamus The BartenderApril 7th, 2011 at 9:51 pm [Reply]
FW: …..I hope Bull is just beating on Les.
commodorejohnApril 7th, 2011 at 9:56 pm [Reply]
@Jamus The Bartender (#304): Beating on, or…?
Rocky StoneaxeApril 7th, 2011 at 10:15 pm [Reply]
Margo’s toilet brush in repose:
http://littlefrugalista.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/skull-toilet-brush-7276971.jpg
The RidgerApril 7th, 2011 at 10:20 pm [Reply]
@Aaaaaaaaaviatrix (#282): Hmmmm. I do it online every day, and the cartoon is not covered up. Where do you do it? http://www.uclickgames.com/jumble/online/daily//tmjmf?gameid=tmjmf& ?
Rocky StoneaxeApril 7th, 2011 at 10:33 pm [Reply]
@SequelMan (#252):
I just started looking at a strip called Yenny… about an (to use Elton John’s phrase) Island Girl who wants to become a model, but she has trouble finding work because of her big feet… she does have BIG feet.
I think Yenny’s other “attributes” make up for the big feet:
http://www.gocomics.com/yenny/
Chip WhittleApril 7th, 2011 at 10:37 pm [Reply]
@gnome de blog (#277):
There is a point where myth acquires value. There is also a point where myth, having acquired value, becomes dangerous. I’m sure you can think of several examples. However, for something as trivial as a baseball team’s name I’m not going to worry about it very much.
Sure. Myths are great. But there should be at least some recognition that they are myths, and where the reality can be discerned, that should get some press. For example …
Abner Doubleday is not mentioned anywhere in the Baseball Hall of Fame, which is located in his home town largely because his was the accepted baseball creation myth in the 1930s. Alexander Cartwright, who was from New Jersey, is. However, he is credited with developing the game in more or less its modern form, not with creating it.
Alexander Cartwright is indeed credited with developing the game in more or less its modern form. That credit is wholly undeserved: there’s no primary-source evidence he had any hand in forming the roles of baseball as placed in New York, or in streamlining them, or in codifying them, or even in writing them down. There’s no evidence of his “Johnny Appleseed” work in playing the New York game in his travel to the west coast and ultimately to Hawaii. The actual evidence says that Cartwright very likely played the New York game, in and around New York. He may believably have played the game on the wagon trail out west, but the evidence he did was in typewritten copies of his now-lost journals which his family produced decades later when the Origin Of Baseball Debate was really going.
(Monica Nucciarone recently published a biography, Alexander Cartwright: The Life Behind the Baseball Legend, which is frankly a bit dull but is a major step forward in origins-of-baseball debunking and research.)
Myths are nice. Legends are necessary. But truth should have its innings too. An amazing thing was created, not by one mythic figure but by dozens, hundreds of people, some of them explicitly collaborating, some just sharing similar enjoyments, and that’s a great story people don’t pay attention to. And I end my ranting about this (I promise, though it may come back next Baseball Origins Season) with the declaration that I think people should know when the legend is actually just a legend and it’s standing in the way of a story we only have tantalizing glimpses of.
Maggie the CatApril 7th, 2011 at 11:02 pm [Reply]
@This Guy (#206): @Baka Gaijin (#212): @Hank (#291):
I don’t even know what the hell you guys are talking about, LOL. Commodes? Ancient computers that ran on gasonline… blah blah… Cartridges and 8 tracks?? What?
[Old Man] MuffarooApril 7th, 2011 at 11:15 pm [Reply]
Read ‘em or skip ‘em. Today I was unable to even look in on the CC, even though I did manage to look at the comics. So here are my no-doubt redundant and already-better-said comments for the day, with no apology.
Mark – A tribute to America’s Squarest Detective today, with an arrowed sign pointing at someone named “Dick.”
Dilbert – I always suspected that when the strip is done for the day, Zippy changes his clothes and works a square job.
Marmaduke – “For the last time, Marmaduke, I refuse to embrace your commitment to an outdated philosophy of Manichean dualism!”
Phantom – “Not shoot at me, will ya? This whack in the chops will teach you! This is called ‘operant conditioning,’ Quaker-boy!”
R=R – At last I understand why so many signs have incorrect spelling, grammar, and use of punctuation. It’s to keep Rose Gumbo away. It all makes sense now. Excuse me, I must go out and erect a DON’T “PICK” THE FLOWER’S sign.
Zits – Walt, you ignorant slut, you can express sympathy for someone and it’s not an apology or admission of guilt.
This GuyApril 7th, 2011 at 11:20 pm [Reply]
@Hank (#291): I can’t speak for everyone, but I was recalling how shitty the computers were when I was younger. I still think about those times, yes, but it’s like going to a living history exhibit: interesting enough, but I wouldn’t want to live there. Think I’d like to be posting this comment on Prodigy Internet with my old 386 running Windows 3.1? No, sir. I do think it’s kind of funny that “teh kidz” know nothing about this stuff, but I don’t begrudge them their progress–after all, it’s my progress too.
Rocky StoneaxeApril 7th, 2011 at 11:28 pm [Reply]
@Maggie the Cat (#310):
There was a time when computers were flesh and blood… and female:
http://physicistfeminist.wordpress.com/2011/02/20/documentary-top-secret-rosies/
Maggie the CatApril 7th, 2011 at 11:41 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#313):
So I guess getting a red hot burn on your thighs from your computer meant something entirely different back then?
Baka GaijinApril 7th, 2011 at 11:57 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#300): Squee!
@Maggie the Cat (#310): What color suspenders match my eye-searing plaid shirt?
This GuyApril 8th, 2011 at 12:02 am [Reply]
H&J (Thurs): I see that Bentley has passed over writing duties to Peggy Hill and her “Musings” column. Hope that works out for both of them.
Maggie the CatApril 8th, 2011 at 12:06 am [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#315):
Trick question!!!
Your suspenders do not coordinate. They are just the standard muted red color with brushed faux-brass clips that come labeled “SUSPENDERS” at any Rural King. Unless, however, you are speaking of your Sunday-best suspenders which are always navy with SHINY!, fancy “brass” clips.
Maggie the CatApril 8th, 2011 at 12:07 am [Reply]
(Because you know, red and navy pretty much match anything in the plaid family.)
Bill ThompsonApril 8th, 2011 at 12:17 am [Reply]
WTFunky: So Les lets the other guy pretend to beat him? This only makes sense if they have a deal. Bull wants to look like a bully, so he can impress the other bullies and terrorize the rest of the school, but he’s too cowardly to do any actual bullying. Les therefore acts like his victim, and Bull tells the other punks that Les is his bully-bitch. This saves Les from any real bullying while helping to instill fear in the other students. In other words, Les is a quisling.
bats :[April 8th, 2011 at 12:33 am [Reply]
@carlag8r (#284): THAT is a superb definition of “Good times. Good times.” Well, aside from bombing the house for bugs.
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#313): great article. Thanks!
bats :[April 8th, 2011 at 12:41 am [Reply]
3/8
FW: and why, precisely, is Bull cutting Les any slack? I don’t seem to remember that from the first time they were teens. (Ah. ICW!)
JP: I hope this week of heart-to-heart is really helping the many, many tween fans of Judge Parker, because I’m finding it turgid.
MW: and suddenly, the Clue Fairy visits Dr. Drew Manwhore.
RMMD: hey, look! It’s Rex! “Do you think the ceiling needs repainting, June?”
ElkMeadowApril 8th, 2011 at 12:54 am [Reply]
Whoa, that was short….And Liza blows it! Who knew that Dr. Drew is the only one who is allowed to not have a schedule set in stone? That Drew was undercover the whole time, looking for short-shifters and laze-a-bouts? Or that he was really, really counting on her getting out his space in the next ten minutes, when his next date shows up?
What planet does Rex Morgan take place on? My sister-in-law is a doctor, a wife and a mom, and she doesn’t have time to sit around in dark wood and leather libraries and read newspapers.
greghousesgfApril 8th, 2011 at 1:05 am [Reply]
Zippy used to be really funny in a surreal way until several years ago; now it’s just sort of boring.
PoteetApril 8th, 2011 at 1:22 am [Reply]
4/8 MW — I have a thing about toilet brushes. Of course I use one, but I really don’t like to think about it, and seeing Margo wave one in someone’s face is grossing me out far more than Marvin ever has. Put it away! Put it away!
ElkMeadowApril 8th, 2011 at 1:23 am [Reply]
Good night, Poteet! I’m off….
PoteetApril 8th, 2011 at 1:25 am [Reply]
@Poteet (#324): Obviously I’m so freaked out that I can’t even tell MW from A3G.
PoteetApril 8th, 2011 at 1:27 am [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#325): Good night! May the magic powders of Aleta protect you from Malguhb, er, Maglunk, er, Whatzername!
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 8th, 2011 at 1:35 am [Reply]
@Poteet (#324): You want to know something really gross? I misread “Margo” in your comment as “Marvin.” Now there’s someone you don’t want to see waving a toilet brush.
PoteetApril 8th, 2011 at 1:43 am [Reply]
@Aaaaaaaaaviatrix (#328): Eeewww!
PoteetApril 8th, 2011 at 1:44 am [Reply]
4/7 MW — Now that I really am looking at MW, I see that not only does this hospital allow random doctors to wander in and treat people, but it doesn’t really care when shifts begin. I’ll bet there are plenty of funerals for Mary to attend.
Frank Lee MeidereApril 8th, 2011 at 2:06 am [Reply]
April 8
Thatababy: Really made me laugh. Pop cult references aren’t funny by default; they have to relate directly to the situation. This one worked, for me.
ZaneTarloApril 8th, 2011 at 2:23 am [Reply]
A3G: I couldn’t help but immaturely think of Margo saying, “…and holding a toilet brush mere inches from your face! Sometimes I like to pretend it’s a magic specter of vile, poopy potty water, now I shall scrub your face down with it!” in panel 1. Honestly with today and yesterday’s parts it looks like she’s trying out to be the Bathroom Fairy.
9CL: We only wish you did Edda, we only wish you did. Also way to hold that panel separator like a stripper pole. Her face in panel 3 frightens me very much.
Luann: Uh, Mrs. Horner, I find it ironic that your definition of model walking is almost exactly the same as the drunk line test. Also please let Tiffany snap from all this bullshit heaped on to the pageant that she was supposed to run and stab someone in the neck with a stiletto in a blind rage.
Zits: B-but… he was pouring it from the coffee maker shouldn’t that mean he gets how coffee gets made. I mean I get that Jeremy is the very lazy exaggeration of an American teen but c’mon.
S-M: “Right! Sorry I’m no Lois Lane!” Well that was a halfway funny gag, but I’m trying to wrap my head around the fact that the comic strip is somehow self-aware of Superman. Also, Bobble-head Spidey!
MW: “Yeah, all the diseased and dying people can totally just wait, not like I have anything important to do in my life besides try to seduce/rape– I mean be here in the moment with you. <3"
RhekaridApril 8th, 2011 at 2:28 am [Reply]
I continually find it difficult to believe that Mark Trail is supposed to be an environmentally friendly strip when everyone has a dripping oil slick for hair.
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 8th, 2011 at 2:45 am [Reply]
Dilbert made me laugh. I didn’t expect Adams to use self-reference & self-deprecation as an escape hatch.
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 8th, 2011 at 2:50 am [Reply]
Phantom: Tell me where I’m wrong. We had a week of “shoot me or don’t shoot me,” but if you shoot me you’re dead, then a flashback to earlier in the week, then the gun disappeared and now we’re in for a week of punching?
Mr. O'MalleyApril 8th, 2011 at 3:12 am [Reply]
Back in the days when those early personal computers could be easily hacked, real programmers were using IBM-370s and PDP-10s, which you had to have some pretty good cred before people would let you hack them.
If you want to do hardware hacking today, there are some pretty capable single-board computers available for not much money. Sometimes they even give the low-end ones away free as a promo. It’s pretty common for college students to do projects with them. And around here (Silicon Valley), even some high school kids mess around with them.
I’ve seen kids build them into robot submarines and helicopters, among other things. So all is not totally lost with the youth of today, even if they do play their music too loud.
Funny story: Last summer I revisited an apartment building I used to live in as a student, after several decades absence, and not only was there still some idiot blasting heavy metal at 2 in the afternoon so the whole building shook, I could swear it was the same album that my idiot neighbor used to blast all day back when I lived there.
Mr. O'MalleyApril 8th, 2011 at 3:28 am [Reply]
@Aaaaaaaaaviatrix (#335): If you remember, the guy with the lampshade hat helped Stripey cure Chatu’s ebola because the Phantom code said he had to take him to jail instead of letting him die. Then Chatu was going to get his revenge by the plot with Diana, which has now been resolved, but now the Phantom says he has crossed the line by messing with his wife, and he is going to take care of him for keeps, but he still can’t break the Phantom code, which I don’t think allows you to kill someone with your bare hands either, so he will have to put Chatu into some situation where he will choose suicide, I guess.
I also remember that that wing of the prison used to be pretty full of prisoners earlier in the story line. They moved everyone else out except for the blind sculptor guy who’s now dead, evidently. I never did figure out how Chatu’s cell got unlocked either.
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 8th, 2011 at 3:35 am [Reply]
@Mr. O’Malley (#337): This sort of thing is easier to do with firearms, but perhaps Chatu will aim at the Phantom but Kit will dodge at just the right moment, causing Chatu to punch himself to death. Or perhaps that woman from Mary Worth will arrive and the three of them will have orgiastic jail sex.
Mr. O'MalleyApril 8th, 2011 at 3:43 am [Reply]
@wossname (#132): I’m going to go out on a limb and predict that as soon as Mark gets out of Miami airport, he’ll be right back in Lofo ready to start a new idiotic adventure and there won’t be any further mention of Camp Seabreeze or Kelly Welly.
Because the plot is not just written by a pre-schooler, it’s written by a pre-schooler with ADD.
I have sort of seriously wondered if Elrod gets his story ideas from his great-grandchildren.
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 8th, 2011 at 3:49 am [Reply]
@Mr. O’Malley (#339): I’d prefer that to spending several panels on Mark telling Kelly Welly, and then Cherry, and then Rusty about his adventures. And you know how painful it will be if he tells them in retrospect about something we missed in comic strip form.
Mr. O'MalleyApril 8th, 2011 at 4:06 am [Reply]
@Aaaaaaaaaviatrix (#338): I imagine that the Mary Worth woman would be too confused by the realistic perspective to function effectively (if that’s what you call what she’s doing over in MW).
If I had to write my way out of this, here’s how it would go. My only reference to how jails work is Alcatraz. There’s a lever to close the cell doors. Phantom punches Chatu, Chatu stumbles against the lever and then falls into a cell doorway, to be crushed like the old lady in King Solomon’s Mines. That’s not how the cell doors work in Alcatraz, actually, but it could be close enough. Too technical?
Maybe one of the blind guy’s sculptures will fall on his head.
It’s funny, two things happened last week. One was that a commercial plane developed a hole in the fuselage and the well-trained crew landed it safely. The other was that I was at my in-laws and they were watching a TV show based on the premise that if a terrorist blew a hole in the fuselage of a plane (using some kind of explosive previously unknown to chemistry, apparently), it would immediately cause the plane to plummet out of control to its doom.
So if Hollywood doesn’t need plausibility, why should comic strips?
Maybe Chatu will get punched into a thicket of oleanders and inadvertently bite down on a leaf, causing instant death.
Mr. O\'MalleyApril 8th, 2011 at 4:18 am [Reply]
@Aaaaaaaaaviatrix (#340): The thing about a comic strip is that there are no limits to creativity. Winsor McCay, George Herriman, Walt Kelly and many another (even Johnny Hart) created entire universes. And then there’s “Don’t show, tell”.
Écureuil ÉcumantApril 8th, 2011 at 6:01 am [Reply]
@Hank (#291) said:
Guys, I hate to have to say it, but all this talk about old computers and how the new generation doesn’t “get it,” makes each and every one of you sound like geek-plugger.
“DEEEEE-STROYYY HIM, MY RO-BOTS!!”
Écureuil ÉcumantApril 8th, 2011 at 6:09 am [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#308) on Yenny’s BIG FEET:
I dunno, man. You know what they say about girls with big feet: you might end up with a package deal.
gleebApril 8th, 2011 at 6:51 am [Reply]
Dick: Why is Sam balancing his coffee cup on his fist?
‘bean: Wally Winkerbean, veteran, has come unstuck in time. Here he is laughing as Young Creepy Les gets abused in a closet (I refuse to believe anything else, thank you very much), yet is the same age as he will be when he comes back from Afghanistan with his convenient plot-device neurological condition.
Id: Such filth.
Professor FateApril 8th, 2011 at 7:05 am [Reply]
MW: I mean have you seen the people in intensive care? They are sooo needy. What about me, what about my needs?
FW: Maybe there is an alternate universe where this strip makes a lick of sense. What next Lisa didn’t die of cancer but Les thought it would make a better story?
carlag8rApril 8th, 2011 at 8:02 am [Reply]
@bats :[ (#320): Definitely! One of the best memories ever… even with the bug bombing, because that meant that, even if only for a few weeks, there were a few less critters in our South Florida home. (When someone would imply that only poor people or dirty houses had roaches/palmetto bugs, my mom would always come back with, “Even the Kennedy’s in Palm Beach have roaches.” Gotta love her!)
ArchieNemesisApril 8th, 2011 at 8:04 am [Reply]
Love Is …: Yes, it sure is a “special feeling” when your partner has a third nipple.
MW: Dr. Drew’s face nicely depicts his growing realization that this woman has a screw loose.
Spy vs SpyApril 8th, 2011 at 10:25 am [Reply]
@Mr. O’Malley (#339):
No way Elrod gets his story ideas from his great-grandchildren. Any respectable great-grandchildren today would have much more writing ability than JarkElrod.
I think Elrod’s great-grandchildren are actually regulars here on the comics curmudgeon.
Yah, THAT’s the ticket… Elrod’s great-grand kids have been regulars on this curmudgeon for some time now relentlessly spreading the word of the rediculious absurdity of their profoundly un-talented great grandfather’s stories for the Mark Trail comic strip he re-uses from his dead boss. They also bear the embarrassment it has caused their entire family for many decades now!
April 8th, 2011 at 11:50 am [Reply]
MT:
Dick (or Bill): We were worried about you. I mean, not worried in the search and rescue kinda of way. Or in the “let’s actually do something about finding Mark” kind of way. Or even in the “let’s make some phone calls and track Mark down” kinda of way. More like the occasional “where is Mark? Oh is that an Ice Cream truck coming down the street..I really like vanilla…. wait, what was I thinking about again?” thought kind of way. But not enought to stop me from shaving or putting on a blue suit and standing at the airport until something happens.
But still worried.
Dude AbidesApril 8th, 2011 at 11:55 am [Reply]
Margo: “C’mon up, who ever you are”
I guess Margo’s not real discerning in who helps her do the “ugly jobs”.
bats :[April 8th, 2011 at 1:13 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#331): (dang it. I’m not a TZ fan, so this one flew right by me.)
IconoclastApril 8th, 2011 at 5:57 pm [Reply]
OF COURSE they live by the coast, Josh! Otherwise they wouldn’t be able to listen to the Coast Guard’s NOAA Weather report – and anyone who doesn’t listen to NOAA doesn’t exist as far as Mark Trail is concerned.
Just some guyApril 9th, 2011 at 12:40 am [Reply]
Sorry, Dick, but you’re not going to make it… I’m afraid you’re….
*Mark puts on sunglasses*
TERMINAL.
*YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!*
Inspector Clue-soApril 9th, 2011 at 10:07 am [Reply]
MT (Mark Trail): In just this ONE episode of Mark Trail, which is displayed above, Mark displays his discusting perverse behavior by inappropriately touching a mother in front of her young daughter in panel #1, displaying SERIOUS inappropriate behavior in panel #2 by grabbing BOTH mother AND daughter in an attempt to pull them both against him. And finally in panel #3 by actually having the nerve to give a perverted WINK to a federal agent! Mark Trail has really stepped over the line here. It seems that Mark Trail has turned into some sort of wierd pervert since that night outside Ben Smith’s cabin window when we all saw what he was doing in the bushes when Kelly Welly interupted him by screaming at him by saying, MARK! WHAT are you DOING???!!! Talk about your ANTI-CLIMAX!! Way to go Kelly Welly!
All I can say is that Jack Elrod must be writing this stuff from his isolation room at the mental hospital they have him locked up in!
Please read the posting and discussion policies before posting. You are not required to supply an e-mail address to comment; however, doing so decreases the likelihood of your comment being flagged as spam. E-mail addresses will never be made public or seen by anyone but the site writers, who may use them to communicate with commentors. Leave a Reply« Name
« Website
Line and paragraph breaks are automatic. If you are HTML-savvy, you can use the following tags:
« Extra depressing Wednesday Quickies of lust and sadness » 
Like the site? Say it with cash! Your generous contributions keep this site strong and independent. Thanks! You too can advertise on blogs All the cool kids… 
…buy Comics Curmudgeon merchandise!
Randomly Selected Post O’ Mystery I just flew in from Albuquerque, and boy are my arms tired! Er, I mean wings. Wings! Ha ha! Posting and discussion policies Privacy policy Email Josh Mobile / Lo-Fi Version All post content © 2004–2011 Joshua Fruhlinger. Comics reproduced here for purposes of review only, and all rights remain with their creators; please don't sue me. All comments remain the property and responsibility of those who posted them. Blog powered by WordPress, which is way cool. Hosting provided by ServInt Internet Services, who are lovely people. Site designed by the charming and talented Adam Norwood; logo designed by the talented and charming Francesco Marciuliano. This blog was once known as I Read The Comics So You Don't Have To. It is in no way affiliated with Funny Paper, which used to read the comics so you don't have to, and may do so again. Are you still reading this? Why are you still reading this? A.L.
0 comments:
Post a Comment