Judge Parker, 3/27/11
Ha ha, Sophie is absolutely justified in being so angry! In her attempt to throw off the shackles of nerdom, she put an awful lot of effort into seizing a spot on the cheerleading squad, a goal she achieved by a combination of grass-roots mobilization and awesome, albeit off-panel, physical prowess. Only now she discovers that dork stuff like debate club was the key to popularity all along! I have to say that my four years of high school debate did not win me the affections of anyone with a hilariously WASP-tastic name, but maybe that’s just because I wasn’t ludicrously wealthy. In fact, that’s probably the real source of Sophie’s rage here. Sure, the Spencer-Driver clan is the wealthiest in the state, but what’s the point if you don’t engage in vulgar displays of affluence that improve your social standing? Sophie won’t be satisfied until Abbey allows her to top Honey Ballenger’s dramatic entrance; look for her to arrive at school on Monday carried aloft on a litter, surrounded by dozens of family retainers on horseback.
Family Circus, 3/27/11
I’m not sure which is sadder: that the Keane kids are so excited by the idea of driving around their dreary suburb with a vague acquaintance that they’re willing to bend the truth to get permission to do it, or that the lone Keith child looks positively ecstatic at the prospect of sharing the car with the three noxious melonheads. How grim her life must be!
Panel from Dick Tracy, 3/27/11
Wow, kudos to the new Dick Tracy team for bringing the Crimestoppers Textbook up to date with modern skullduggery! I’m not sure how many regular Dick Tracy devotees also own extensive collections of vacant rural real estate, but still, I’m impressed and I learned something. (Matchbox scratch panels? Who knew?)
Panel from Mark Trail, 3/27/11
I love Mark and Doc’s smug smirks in the background as a terrified, bug-eyed Cherry works herself up for battle against the spider menace. “Gee, Doc, should we tell her that she’s trying to kill one of mankind’s allies?” “No, Mark, we’ll explain it after she wipes out all the spiders and then the cabin is overrun by the vermin the spiders would have eaten! It’s the only way she’ll learn!”
Panel from Gasoline Alley, 3/27/11
Slim finds the concept of physical intimacy with his wife distasteful, but he dreams of a future as a high-priced prostitute.
This entry was posted on Sunday, March 27, 2011 at 02:59 pm and is filed under Dick Tracy, Family Circus, Gasoline Alley, Judge Parker, Mark Trail. | 101 responses to “” Maggie the CatMarch 27th, 2011 at 3:10 pm [Reply]
I love the bottle of LYE just casually sitting aside the match box, but where were the used syringes and popped out pill packs?
IndichikMarch 27th, 2011 at 3:10 pm [Reply]
FC: Please? It might be days before we get another chance to smuggle ourselves out of the Kompound!
ErichMarch 27th, 2011 at 3:11 pm [Reply]
Wait, they expect us to believe that Clovia WANTS Slim to kiss her? I think somebody switched the word balloons.
HairheadMarch 27th, 2011 at 3:14 pm [Reply]
Luann – Okay, just to warn everyone up front, Greg Evans is going to get EXTRA-squicky in the next couple of weeks. Why? It’s a natural consequence of Gunther’s insertion into (not Luann) the plotline.
What “I will make you a stunning gown” means is the following scene.
GUNTHER: Now Luann, I’ve made the gown from the measurements I got from making your sexy witch costume last Hallowe’en, but we have to fit the gown and make the adjustments.
LUANN: What do I have to do?
GUNTHER: Um, ah, er, s-s-s-s-strip down to y-y-y-your underwear and put the gown on, and then I’ll go over it several times, adjusting the f-f-f-fit and marking where I have let it out or . . or . . or . . p-p-p-put it i-i-i-in (Gunther is stammering and perspiring profusely.) I’ll turn my head away until you’ve got it on.
LUANN: Oh Gunther, no worries, after all my underwear covers more than a bikini will, and I’ll be in a bikini for the whole school to look at in the beauty pageant. (Whips off her shirt and pants.) What’s the funny look on your face, Gunther? Oh, I forgot I’m wearing my lace panties. They’re almost see-through. Will that effect how the gown looks? Gunther? Gunther? Take a breath, Gunther. Now I’ll step into the gown and you pull it up for me. Yes, from the front.
(Gunther is now shaking like a leaf, sweating like a sandhog, snot is dripping from his nose and his teeth are chattering. Luann is smirking.)
LUANN: Okay Gunther, you’ve got it up to my waist, now pull hard to get it over my bust — I mean (Luann bats her eyes) my breasts. After all, we’ve adults, Gunther, aren’t we, almost? Now I’ll lift my arms over my head so you can fit the bodice into place and get my — breasts into it Oooo! You made it very tight, Gunther (Luann smiles and licks her lips). I must be growing up. Gunther, you’re such a, a, a . . . Nice Guy.
GUNTHER: G-g-g-g-g a-a-a-ack! (Gunther falls over into a dead faint from his hyperventilating.)
LUANN: Awwww. Poor boy. (Admires herself in the mirror.) Good enough for now. I’ll just take and leave him to recover. Too bad he isn’t a judge. (Smirks again.)
GUNTHER: (From the floor, his spastic eyes follow Luann’s ankles as she walks away; a stain appears at his crotch.)
Can Luann be a bigger bitch than Evans has ever shown before? Why, yes she can!
CanuckDownSouthMarch 27th, 2011 at 3:14 pm [Reply]
But if Sophie manages to snag Derek Wilcox by extravagant, potlatch-esque uses of her wealth, she’ll wind up with a shallow gigolo-in-training boyfriend who cares only about her wealth… oh, wait – her parental models Sam ‘n Abbey. Carry on!
Mike TrailmixMarch 27th, 2011 at 3:19 pm [Reply]
Family Circus–How many kids do you know who are shorter than the tire of a car?
MarkMarch 27th, 2011 at 3:19 pm [Reply]
And WTF has Slim done to that poor theater seat?
Jim NorthMarch 27th, 2011 at 3:20 pm [Reply]
Crimestoppers: For a while, my brother and his lady lived in a house that had previously been used as a drug den for several years until the cops did a raid and arrested everyone living there. Like the house in the ol’ textbook here, it was a run down rural affair out in the middle of the boonies. Though it wasn’t actually abandoned, it certainly looked like it had been, and there was plenty of paraphernalia around. Due to the massive number of hidey-holes that the cops never found, there was also plenty of stuff to use with the paraphernalia.
Or at least there would have been if the previous tenants themselves hadn’t apparently forgotten about the hidey-holes, leaving the drugs to go stale and rot over the years.
Fun house, tho’. Always something new to find.
The Not So Great Old OneMarch 27th, 2011 at 3:21 pm [Reply]
Watch out Cherry, that Spider is about to push that urn off the shelf! Dam arachnaid vandal!
This GuyMarch 27th, 2011 at 3:21 pm [Reply]
GA:
You don’t have to be a prostitute
No no no no no
You can say “no” to being a man-ho
March 27th, 2011 at 3:25 pm [Reply]
You know, with all the (justified) griping and snarking everyone does here, it’s nice to accentuate the positive once in a while: Judge Parker has very good art. Heck, I’m cheered when the art in newspaper comics looks like someone actually put effort into it. (Not so fast, there, Crock.)
Also, “The Noxious Melonheads” would be a good pop-punk band name.
MibbitmakerMarch 27th, 2011 at 3:25 pm [Reply]
A3G: The “Suddenly” panel is the funniest one in soap comics today!
Edison Lee: That cow is cross-eyed!! Wow, that’s really, really WACKY!!!!
MW: Please tell me this means this leaden propaganda is FINALLY OVER!!!
S-M: A spider surprised — a reader bored.
JP: “And she’ll be the one sharing the silk pajamas, satin sheets, and multi-million-dollar penthouse suite with him, and not ME!” *
CalicoMarch 27th, 2011 at 3:33 pm [Reply]
FC – I thought at first that the house in the background was actually a large palette of Ms. Keith’s belongings on top of the car, as she has had it living in the Keane neighborhood, and is going to live in Alaska instead.
DiggerMarch 27th, 2011 at 3:34 pm [Reply]
MT: Geez, Cherry, you’re supposed to spray that stuff on the spiders, not sniff it yourself. Oh well, she looks like she’s plenty wired now. Mark will have even more trouble than usual fending off her physical advances.
JP: The reason Honey is so popular with the boys is because in the minds of most teenage boys, the name Honey = Easy Score. If Sophie wants to compete she should consider taking on a nickname like Bambi.
GA: I noticed a lot of empty seats around Slim and Clovia. Hmmm, there could be a B.O. problem here, and my money’s on Slim.
CalicoMarch 27th, 2011 at 3:38 pm [Reply]
Aaaahhhh Mary you are just going crazy with not knowing everything, aren’t you?
HAHAHAHAHA
Meanwhile, Dawn and Wilbur share another incestuous moment.
MT – Be careful with that can of DDT, Cherry!
DtM – Oh, given the color of his pif, I now see how Henry spends his afternoons.
NoahSnarkMarch 27th, 2011 at 3:38 pm [Reply]
The Keane kids, having learned that Mommy will accept their stories without bothering to check if they are true, are finally free to accept that van ride from the hobo with all the free candy.
ElkMeadowMarch 27th, 2011 at 3:38 pm [Reply]
@Mark (#7):
My thoughts exactly. The loss of perspective must be oozing over from MT and MW.
ChipMarch 27th, 2011 at 3:39 pm [Reply]
@Erich (#3):
If those word balloons were switched, I’d have to wonder if Clovia and Slim ventured into an X-Rated movie theater!
Doug PuthoffMarch 27th, 2011 at 3:42 pm [Reply]
MT–Unless, of course, the spider is radioactive. Then you will be spending the rest of your life watching TV and whining!
CalicoMarch 27th, 2011 at 3:43 pm [Reply]
@CanuckDownSouth (#5):
“potlatch-esque uses of her wealth”
Awesome. Phrasing. Sophie SMASH! : )
Did you ever read “I Heard the Owl Call My Name”?
March 27th, 2011 at 3:44 pm [Reply]
@Mark (#7):
Apparently Slim’s so fat, Scancarelli had to break out the fisheye pens. That or he just lost interest in maintaining perspective starting around Slim’s right knee. It’s like the the people on the (stage) right side of the theatre are watching a totally different screen!
ArchieNemesisMarch 27th, 2011 at 3:46 pm [Reply]
Let us summarize the current Mark Trail storyline, shall we?
The Feds ask well-known journalist Mark Trail to go undercover as himself, and investigate
diamond smuggling at a hurricane-prone fishing camp in a swamp (or possibly the ocean).
Mark jumps at the chance to flee his tedious home life. A 1970’s-sitcom-style miscommunication
ensues between Mark, Cherry, and Mr. Roper (I mean, Doc).
So naturally, his clingy, bubble-headed wife, and his tarted-up fellow journalist, rush to the
fishing camp, where Mark does his level best to expose himself to his fishing guide. A series of
window-peeping incidents leads the diamond smuggler to flee (I mean, who wouldn’t?).
When Mark goes in hot pursuit, the chick with the rhyming name forgets to tell Mark
that he is still tied to a dock.
This results in the first of many concussions that render Mark’s already questionable judgement
even crappier. Alone, and far from shore, Mark taunts, then attempts to single-handedly arrest
the armed smuggler. From a rocking rowboat in heavy seas, diamond-smuggler, ascot-wearer,
and marksman-extraordinaire Ben Smith shoots Mark in the head. Mark’s incredibly bony
cranium deflects the bullet, which knocks Mark out, for probably the 50th time in his life.
As Mark drifts in rough waters, his facial hair sees the light of day for the first time ever.
While Frosty McSideburns is telling Mark’s wife that Mark is pretty much dead, and Kelly is
inexplicably confessing her desire to bone the disappointingly flaccid Mark, he is rescued by
a hot bosomy widow, who nurses him back to health (and who knows what else while we’re
not looking). She then dresses Mark in her dead husband’s clothes.
Mark, for no particular reason, makes a highly-risky surveillance of his surroundings.
He finds himself on the island of classic fedoras. Here, nefarious henchmen, led by a
direct descendant of Otto Von Bismarck and financed by drug money,
are probably conducting Boys-From-Brazil Nazi cloning. So Mark sends the hot widow
off to steal from a known murderer and potential rapist, while he chills with her daughter,
who is no doubt mentally scarred from witnessing her father’s murder and mother’s subjugation,
and will make a highly-stable companion for Rusty when she is eventually brought back to
Lost Forest, which is probably Mark’s ill-conceived plan.
(Then, to top it all off, the Sunday strip features a thinly-disguised shout-out to Peter Parker:
“Spiders aren’t merely unlikeable – if you play the statistics just right, they can actually be
proven useful!”)
Because we get only small daily doses of the Mark Trail comic strip, drawn in a
wholesome 1950’s style, the insanity of the plotline can get lost, unless you call attention
to it, which has apparently become my purpose in life. Does Jack Elrod even realize how
little sense this story makes? My guess is that he does not. Perhaps it would be more
appropriate if this strip was drawn in the crazed, lurid style of former Dick Tracy artist,
Dick Locher.
Meanwhile, elsewhere on the comics pages, Karen Moy mocks us to our faces. You know that
each Mary Worth snark from the Curmudgeons brings another retaliatory round of oil paintings,
kites, and Wilbur and Dawn marching around arm-in-arm, don’t you? All we can do is get angrier
and angrier. For God’s sake, stop the MW snark, and maybe Moy will stop torturing us.
This can’t go on.
March 27th, 2011 at 3:50 pm [Reply]
Judge Parker: Sophie, if you really, truly, cross your heart and hope to eat a pie, truly want to get Derek, learn how to shoot ping-pong balls from your hoo-hoo.
Baka GaijinMarch 27th, 2011 at 3:54 pm [Reply]
@ArchieNemesis (#22): Archie, this is too long for the COTW nomination but it’ll definitely fit in the “and featuring” float annex.
Harry FMarch 27th, 2011 at 3:55 pm [Reply]
Aw Clovia. It’s because you have the face of a blow up doll and I have no idea where you been.
CalicoMarch 27th, 2011 at 3:57 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#23):
“That’s my ping-pong ball trick!”
Dun dun duuun duuun duuun!
March 27th, 2011 at 3:57 pm [Reply]
GA – Slim! You cannot re-enact the popcorn scene from ‘Diner’ w/ two tubs of popcorn! It’s about sharing.
Maggie the CatMarch 27th, 2011 at 3:58 pm [Reply]
@Harry F (#25):
True that! She does look like a blow up doll.
CanuckDownSouthMarch 27th, 2011 at 4:06 pm [Reply]
@Calico (#20): Nope – I heard of IHaOCmN, but have never read it. A state of affairs I *wish* I had managed to maintain with Pibgorn…
John C FremontMarch 27th, 2011 at 4:07 pm [Reply]
@Aviatrix (#yy282): In the interest of full disclosure, I thought my wife was a wallaby when we first met. (Wallabies are known for their non-Plugger ways.) The fact that she had a ‘72 Dodge Dart that looked just like my old one, but with faded paint & that had to be started by putting a hairbrush handle in the choke (Oh, how I wish I was kidding!) should have been my first clue.
I used to think that knowing about old cars made me a motorhead – no, not like Lemmy, the other kind of motorhead – but now, well, I’ll just be down in the basement listening to some old 78’s and drooling over paint samples from Menards.
Saturday’s Momma – Sure, she has no mouth, but that’s quite the gravity-defying rack.
Huh. Tina No-Mouth. Bassist for the Physically-impossible-to-be-Talking Heads? No, that’s terrible. I refuse to say it. Looks a little like William Holden though.
D’oh!
Filthy AssistantMarch 27th, 2011 at 4:08 pm [Reply]
Would Pop Korn be Korn’s more radio-friendly efforts, such as Freak On A Leash?
SequiturMarch 27th, 2011 at 4:12 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#23):
…shoot ping-pong balls from your hoo-hoo.
I thought that was a clown trick?!
SequiturMarch 27th, 2011 at 4:16 pm [Reply]
I notice that Gagoline Alley brought background people over from Apartment GGG to fill in the audience.
commodorejohnMarch 27th, 2011 at 4:24 pm [Reply]
A3G – Oh my God, is he a hobo theater critic!?
Crock – If your jokes are so…not jokes at all that even your characters are looking at the audience with an expression of “God, what did I do to deserve this?”, it’s probably time to call it a day, career-wise.
FC – One of these days, Thel thinks to herself, some schmuck will go along with the kids’ request, and in their mad rush they’ll lodge themselve irremovably into the victim’s upholstery. Then she will be free!
FG – Just goes to show: the Kool-Aid Man trick is for trained professionals only, kids.
FW – What a worthless piece of shit this storyline is.
JP – Blah blah blah blah blah, but what lovingly-illustrated horses.
Luann – How to kiss, eh? Well, maybe you could just experiment and FIGURE IT THE FUCK OUT FOR YOURSELF, but I suppose you can’t possibly do that because it might accidentally advance some of the plot threads in this strip.
MT – Oh, Mark Trail is just so much awesome. Where do I begin? The panel with Cherry’s bug-eyed (and inexplicably tassel-hatted) freakout? The panel with the evil bee and the spiders going “fuck you, bee, we’re humanity’s friends!“? The grasshopper looming in the frame like a Bert I. Gordon flick? Oh, how could I even choose? I love it all.
MW – Read these panels with the direct references to art taken out, and I swear it’s a “girl’s first lesbian fling” story.
Phantom – It may not have been the best arrangement to introduce a separate Sunday storyline involving the Python when he’s already co-starring in the dailies, guys.
Pluggers – Shared truck vibrations are the most action Plugger couples have had in years.
PV – Arn, the…the facial hair just doesn’t work. Please change it. (Also, damn, Aleta is awesome/hot/awesome.)
SF – I love this strip.
SM – Boy, wouldn’t it help if Spidey had any kind of precognitive danger sense?
Baka GaijinMarch 27th, 2011 at 4:29 pm [Reply]
@Sequitur (#32): WHAAAAAAA??? No!
little meMarch 27th, 2011 at 4:30 pm [Reply]
MaryW “Oh dad, this has been such a wonderful day! I dont want it to ever end…and you know, I need to do a little shopping. Would you like to go with me?”
“Of course, pumpkin, where would you like to go?”
“Well, ‘Gretchen’s Secret’ down at the SantaRoyMall is having a big sale and I did get their new catalogue in the mail this week. Maybe you could help me pick out a few things? Oh, please say yes, dad!”
“Yes.”
——–
“That was a great walk, dad. Thanks so much for spending some real quality time with me today”
“Oh it was a treat for me too, pumpkin! But you know, I’ve sure built up an appetite, walking all the way to the end of the block and back. I could use a little snack right now.”
“Well, lets go on in then. I bought some mangoes and oysters at the SantaRoyMart yesterday. And since you’re so beat from our little walk, I’ll feed them to you myself. How about that?”
“Yes.”
———
“You know dad, Toby said I’m really coming along in my art lessons. She thinks I should try doing some figure drawing, too.”
“Oh, pumpkin, I’m so proud of you! I knew you could find some creative outlets that didn’t involve that nasty old internet and tweetering.”
“And you were right, dad! Thanks for not giving up on me…but you see, I need to find a model to pose for me while I draw, and it has to be someone not embarrassed to take off their clothes. Toby says Professor Ian poses for her all the time. You should see her sketches! But wherever am I going to find someone to pose for me?”
“Yes!”
Baka GaijinMarch 27th, 2011 at 4:33 pm [Reply]
@little me (#36): Uh uh uh QLUNQ! [the sound of Baka's brain seizing up].
Scott BotMarch 27th, 2011 at 4:33 pm [Reply]
Pluggers – Are too damned cheap to pay extra for tire balancing.
SwordsmithMarch 27th, 2011 at 4:38 pm [Reply]
SS: Well they do call it stone soup.
S4th: Sometimes I think this is the best strip still being published. Today is one of those days. Particularly love the man with no name reference.
A3G: Iris, who I know is the aunt of the star and songwriter for the musical I’m directing? I’m shocked to see you here accompanying important celebrity that I assume everyone knows. Because it wouldn’t make any sense for Tommie, who both stars and writes the music for said musical, to arrange that. Nope, my natural assumption is that this is an outlandish coincidence. Hilarity is sure to ensue when I discover that it -is- an outlandish coincidence.
B&C: I don’t think Pastis is really patient zero… but he’s certainly a carrier,
FBvFW: I never left those emergency numbers for the sitter, because the correct thing to do is call 911, and even my kids knew that number. Then I realized this is reboot, maybe its set so far in the distant past that you actually had to leave this list?
Frazz: Socks? I’m unable to make sense of today’s strip.
MT: 2 million is not an astronomical figure, but 200 million is? I’ve always wondered where that line was drawn. The best I could do on the net seemed to indicate that numbers larger than the number of inches in 24 light years were astronomical. As a subnote, I’ve always assumed MT Sunday strips were freestanding, but look, he’s wearing his “native wear” hat!
NS: First Luann features his daughter, and now Sergio gets to do a guest strip in NS!
OBH: Ooops, Artist formerly known as Ben called it.
DT Crimestopper: Again with the crime. Doesn’t Curtis know the “crimestopper” here is meant ironically, like Menace and Horrible?
DT: I’ve got to hand it to Stanton though.
demoncatMarch 27th, 2011 at 4:49 pm [Reply]
slim is not wanting to kiss Clovia because it would mean he would miss out eating all the theatre stuff. since food is his own true love. fc the little girl smile is saying yey i will have some friends to keep the car trip from being boring. the mother look is oh why god did i do to have those mellon heads come wanting to take them for a ride. the horror i do not deserve.
SequiturMarch 27th, 2011 at 4:50 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#35): Hmmm. Ping pong balls. No, I must have been thinking about breakfast.
Scott BotMarch 27th, 2011 at 4:52 pm [Reply]
MW – ‘So far she’s been a quick study and she’s eager to learn – which unfortunately doesn’t make up for her complete lack of talent.’
BudMarch 27th, 2011 at 4:56 pm [Reply]
“Sure kids! Go for a ride with Mrs. Keith! And don’t worry about car seats for each of you; not providing any will just show her how much of a complete bitch I *really* am!”
SequiturMarch 27th, 2011 at 4:58 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#35): Or, maybe I was right the first time.
Baka GaijinMarch 27th, 2011 at 5:09 pm [Reply]
Sequitur: I’m not clicking either link. It’s almost bedtime. I’m not sure what’s waiting at the other end but I’m not risking seeing Elly Foob and ping-pong balls.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMarch 27th, 2011 at 5:13 pm [Reply]
@Digger (#14): re JP, there’s a tradition involving cheerleaders named Bambi. . . .
(although, it was the actress who was named Bambi, not the character. oh well, close enough!)
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMarch 27th, 2011 at 5:15 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#45): April, maybe, but why, why, WHY did it have to be Micheal?
*sobs*
SequiturMarch 27th, 2011 at 5:16 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#45): Oh, go on and click. You know you really want to. Besides, they’re rated PG. Just like this movie.
Doctor HandsomeMarch 27th, 2011 at 5:22 pm [Reply]
Many don’t like spiders and think that they are out to get us, but the fact is that they’re lazy cowards who would rather watch TV all day than fight anyone.
ArchieNemesisMarch 27th, 2011 at 5:24 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#24): I felt strangely empty after my lengthy rant this morning. Maybe I’m trying too hard to get on the float.
Thanks for your offer of letting me ride on the annex. Maybe I can hitch a trailer to a bumper to house my extra large entry. I will toss a few cheap fedoras to the spectators.
March 27th, 2011 at 5:27 pm [Reply]
The Crimestoppers guide today looks more like it’s saying, “Abandoned rural homes are great for burning down in a victimless crime! Come on, it’s way out there and the fire department’s going to torch it for practice eventually. You know you want to, DO IT. And even if it has a meth lab in it, you’ll just be taking some junkies off the street, and all those chemicals will turn the fire colors! Such lovely colors…”
AviatrixMarch 27th, 2011 at 5:28 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#23): Shooting ping pong balls from your hoo hoo should be done while wearing assless chaps.
DoodMarch 27th, 2011 at 5:34 pm [Reply]
Memo to Spiderman: If you ever go up against a doe-eyed brunette wearing a bandanna and brandishing a 1950s flyswatter and a canister of DDT, be wary. Be very wary.
SequiturMarch 27th, 2011 at 5:42 pm [Reply]
@Dood (#53): Isn’t that one of the games he plays with Mary Jane?
AviatrixMarch 27th, 2011 at 5:48 pm [Reply]
@Swordsmith (#39):
1. There are some babysitting events that fall between waiting until the parents get home and calling 9-1-1.
2. If your kid is in the ER they may need to get a hold of you for permission to operate.
3. As recently as 2006, I lived in a Canadian community that did not have 9-1-1 service. You had to memorize or keep by the phone separate numbers for police, ambulance and fire. It was useful if you also had the home phone number of an actual police officer, because the police after-hours number was a toll-free line answered in a city several hundred kilometres away, where they wouldn’t understand if you said, “Wally is liquored up and he’s heading for Nina’s place again.” They always want street addresses. “He’s on the STREET, right outside Ralph and Cindy’s place, on his sled. Or maybe that’s Ian’s sled.”
March 27th, 2011 at 5:54 pm [Reply]
GA: Popcorn isn’t a trademarked word. You don’t need to spell it as Pop Korn. Although, if the author did think that was the spelling then a lot of things would make sense about this strip.
SequiturMarch 27th, 2011 at 5:54 pm [Reply]
@Aviatrix (#55): What? Wait. Wally is liquored up and he’s heading for Nina’s place again?
Oh, damn. I better move the pickup.
Joe BtfsplkMarch 27th, 2011 at 6:00 pm [Reply]
Gasoline Alley – In a rare bit of realism for this strip, even though the theater is packed, still no one will sit near these two. Except for that one guy behind them, who must be new in town.
SequiturMarch 27th, 2011 at 6:00 pm [Reply]
@S. Stout (#56): Pop Korn isn’t just for eatin’ anymore.
SwordsmithMarch 27th, 2011 at 6:01 pm [Reply]
@Aviatrix (#55): Emergency numbers like “my cell number” or before that was common “the number of the restaurant we’re going to, and the movie theater”, and maybe “our friend who lives nearby in case you can’t reach us” sure… but none of those numbers would make the joke work. If you need to call poison control, fire department, or police, for an emergency, then you call 911. They contact the correct people and simultaneously record your call and find your address. And that’s been the case since the 90s, at least everywhere I’ve lived since then, which is when I had kids-in-need-of-sitter.
However, I not only forgot that this is now taking place in what, the 70s? But also as you now point out, in Canada. 2006? Pretty amazing.
Vince MMarch 27th, 2011 at 6:03 pm [Reply]
@John C Fremont (#30): Just for the record, I had a ‘72 Dart too – posh as a Dart gets, with a vinyl roof, cloth interior and steel wheels. Probably my favorite car ever. I’ll get a vintage car someday, but not before I get something new-tech I can depend on.
Red GreenbackMarch 27th, 2011 at 6:07 pm [Reply]
Matchbox Scratch Panels was a decent enough band, but they really improved when they became Matchbox Scratch Panels Featuring Chaka Khan. Then IMO, really went downhill when they were known as Matchbox “Cougar” Scratch Panels.
[Old Man] MuffarooMarch 27th, 2011 at 6:11 pm [Reply]
@Mark B (#y299): It’s kind of odd to me that the plane is guarded by two men, but the key to the plane is hanging on a rack next to the outside door in plain sight.
Everything Otto knows about security, he learned from the Seven Dwarfs.
March 27th, 2011 at 6:16 pm [Reply]
@Red Greenback (#62): Scratch so good . . . come on, baby, scratch that panel good . . . sometimes meth don’t cook like it should, you gotta (dun dun) scratch so good . . .
Red GreenbackMarch 27th, 2011 at 6:17 pm [Reply]
@Jim North (#64): Yeah, they were really into the lye when that one came out.
bats :[March 27th, 2011 at 6:20 pm [Reply]
@Doug Puthoff (#19): not Mark! NO WAY!
MacMarch 27th, 2011 at 6:21 pm [Reply]
When I saw that Dick Tracy panel, I figured the new creative team was going to offer tips on arson-for-profit.
bats :[March 27th, 2011 at 6:23 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#34): re A3G: how is a hobo theatre critic paid? I’m thinking “in chicken,” but it’s probably closer to being “the promise of chicken.”
Balls.
Here Come ole FlattopMarch 27th, 2011 at 6:25 pm [Reply]
For those with the ping pong ball fetish, rather than going to the PI, go to Thailand when the fleet visits. You’ll see things that’ll keep you awake at night. Or, so I’m told. I’ve never set foot in those open-air bars in any place like that. Nope, not ever.
bats :[March 27th, 2011 at 6:26 pm [Reply]
@Here Come ole Flattop (#69): so you’re saying that you just read a lot, right? :)
SequiturMarch 27th, 2011 at 6:27 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#66): You mentioned “THAT RUSTY THING!” I’m sure Mark has one of those. Ask Cherry.
SequiturMarch 27th, 2011 at 6:32 pm [Reply]
@Here Come ole Flattop (#69): Now I wish that when Mark got knocked out by a bullet he had floated off to Thailand instead of Miami Beach.
Red GreenbackMarch 27th, 2011 at 6:35 pm [Reply]
@Here Come ole Flattop (#69): There was a great scene about hoo hoo ping pong ball shooting in the movie The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.
commodorejohnMarch 27th, 2011 at 6:36 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#68): Hmm, good question. I was thinking more along the lines of cheap whiskey, myself…
Écureuil ÉcumantMarch 27th, 2011 at 6:39 pm [Reply]
@Sequitur (#57): Don’t forget, the hairbrush handle’s in the glovebox.
ratnerstarMarch 27th, 2011 at 6:56 pm [Reply]
Spiders are one of our staunchest allies, huh? I don’t see them running any sorties over Libya.
Also, why is Mark’s forehead shooting red goo all over Cherry’s hair?
SequiturMarch 27th, 2011 at 6:58 pm [Reply]
@Écureuil Écumant (#75): Does that help with the hoo hoo balls?
SequiturMarch 27th, 2011 at 7:06 pm [Reply]
Thanks to ya’ll I now know where Captain Kangaroo got those ping pong balls!
Some GuyMarch 27th, 2011 at 7:08 pm [Reply]
I am shocked — shocked, I tell you — that no-one has added the obvious Tommy the Tweaker reference to that Crimestoppers panel.
Abandonded country houses are often used as … my very own meth lab!“
AlisonMarch 27th, 2011 at 7:14 pm [Reply]
I don’t think that’s a real live child in the backseat of the Keith car. It’s a Cabbage Patch Kid. The hair, the nose, the shape of the head, everything about it screams Cabbage Patch Kid. (Trust me, I was little in the early 1980s, I know this.) I would say the doll is there because sinister Mrs. Keith wants to lure the Keane Kids into her car and abduct them but really, who’d want to do that, you know?
Sophie looks homicidally angry about this “Honey Ballenger” (seriously, WTF) person. Those aren’t wistful “Damn, I wish I was her” expressions on Sophie’s face, they are seriously angry and disturbing.
gnemecMarch 27th, 2011 at 7:15 pm [Reply]
The Keith child lives in a world of sepia tones (her mother, her car, even her house), like the beginning of “The Wizard of Oz”, so the bright primary colors of the Keanes are what delight her so.
Uncle LumpyMarch 27th, 2011 at 7:22 pm [Reply]
@gnemec (#81):
… the bright primary colors of the Keanes are what delight her so.
Halloween XIV — Consumption of the Kandy Keanes
bats :[March 27th, 2011 at 7:23 pm [Reply]
@Sequitur (#78): do you think Aldo Kelrast has a stash of ping pong balls? And if so, where did he obtain them?
(No, don’t thank me…)
March 27th, 2011 at 7:25 pm [Reply]
A3G: Fanboy mode on!
BB: Definitely seen this before. How many gags can a person make about a squeaky chair?!
FW: Whoa, hey, the Japanese in the last panel says “Godzilla.” At first I thought it was just random kana and I could make fun of the gibberish, but he got it right. One point for Batuik.
HtH: This actually isn’t bad. Huh. I can’t put my finger on it, but….
MT: AUGH SHOCKING PINK EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK
ElkMeadowMarch 27th, 2011 at 7:32 pm [Reply]
Looking at the Prince Valiant strip again–maybe Arn would have more brains if he wasn’t wandering around in Father Christmas’s nightshirt.
Does anyone, anyone? know where son Nathan is?
SequiturMarch 27th, 2011 at 7:38 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#83): Well, here’s Mary Worth’s reaction when she found out from whence they came.
PoteetMarch 27th, 2011 at 7:49 pm [Reply]
JP — I seem to recall that Neddie and Sophie were poverty-stricken waifs living out in the woods with their poor sick grandpa in something close to a rotten old tent when they first showed up years ago. I say send them back to the tent and let them scrounge for their meals in dumpsters as punishment for all their annoying whining.
PoteetMarch 27th, 2011 at 7:50 pm [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#85): It’s pretty sad that you care and Nathan’s family apparently doesn’t. *sniff*
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMarch 27th, 2011 at 7:51 pm [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#85): studying in Jerusalem, if I remember a Xmas strip correctly.
PoteetMarch 27th, 2011 at 7:56 pm [Reply]
DT — Hmm. I have an old decrepit outbuilding on my place, but any tweakers who wanted to use it would have to fight with the very large raccoons. I’d put my money on the raccoons.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMarch 27th, 2011 at 7:58 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#90): *bets on the tweaked raccoons*
PoteetMarch 27th, 2011 at 7:59 pm [Reply]
MT — What is happening on top of Cherry’s head? Is she being attacked by some kind of mutant red starfish?
S. StoutMarch 27th, 2011 at 8:06 pm [Reply]
@S. Stout (#56):
Haha, ugh!
Rocky StoneaxeMarch 27th, 2011 at 8:15 pm [Reply]
@Sequitur (#78), @bats :[ (#83):
Where Kangaroo/Kelrast really got those ping pong balls:
http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/100922/Sheldon-Parsons-Bazinga-Bang_300.jpg
KiboMarch 27th, 2011 at 8:18 pm [Reply]
I have bottles of lye, matches, and a pressure cooker in my kitchen, ’cause I like to make good pretzels, crème brûlée, and pot roast — though not all at the same time, ’cause then I might accidentally make meth. “Dick Tracy”’s anti-lye propaganda is one of the reasons you have to make your own pretzels if you want to get good ones these days — at least in the USA, it’s very hard to find a proper lye pretzel, even at those damn mall places that only make pretzels. They’re all lame. Pretzels need to be soaked on the most caustic substance known to humanity in order to be yummy.
“Crème brûlée” has too many accent marks. May we please have a “Crimestoppers textbook” entry about the dangers of accent marks? Thanks.
Jim NorthMarch 27th, 2011 at 8:19 pm [Reply]
@Some Guy (#79): I considered making the reference for a few brief moments, but then I just figured that even if I don’t do it, some guy will.
Frank Lee MeidereMarch 27th, 2011 at 8:25 pm [Reply]
You’ve got to watch those matchbox scratch pads. When I went to buy some matches at a grocery store a couple of years back, the cashier asked me for my birthday. I asked why, and she pointed to the cash register which had fields for year, day, and month. “For matches?” I said. “You want my birthday so I can buy matches?” She looked at me, then said, “Never mind. I’ll put mine in.”
Age confirmation for a box of matches. You can never be too safe, you know.
Rocky StoneaxeMarch 27th, 2011 at 8:33 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#90):
Is this the kind of “old decrepit outbuilding” you have on your place?
http://image.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/92656/92656,1178232332,1/stock-photo-abandoned-wooden-privy-with-classic-crescent-moon-cut-in-door-and-rusty-tin-roof-back-country-3221995.jpg
LiamMarch 27th, 2011 at 8:37 pm [Reply]
FC-The sad thing is that Mrs. Keith is going to drown her child.
MW-Now we go back to the incestuous implications between Wilbur and Dawn.
March 27th, 2011 at 8:39 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#23): When I lived in Subic Bay, the place to go for hoo-hoo-shootin’ shows was Subic City, home of “The Muff Divers Bar.” And the one HHSS I saw involved pisos, not ping-pong balls. So if Sophie is looking to outdo Miss Honey McLimo, richest gal in town, well, I suggest that she focus on the monetary hoo-hoo accoutrement, not the more working-class ping-pong variety.
In other news, on Friday night I went to a dinner and sat near a guy who is very good friends with one Donna Lewis, ersatz artiste of Reply All. I learned that he’s her good friend after expressing my opinion that the strip is absolutely dreadful, of course. Anyway, he claims to be the model for the male character who showed up last week, and he loves the strip, as a friend should, I guess.
I’ve realized one of the many, many things that make me loathe this strip (and my conversation with her friend confirmed that realization): All the so-called “jokes” are simply things that ordinary people might say to each other—and not terribly funny ordinary people at that. I hear funnier lines in my workplace daily—and I read funnier stuff on this blog multiple times a day. And I don’t need to look at eye-woundingly bad “art” in those cases, either.
Add all that to the fact that it’s warmed-over Cathy, perpetuating jokes about irrational women and their irrational eating habits and their irrational dating choices and let’s not forget their irrational shopping compulsion—and that it replaced a perfectly good, well-drawn, character-driven strip in the print WashPost (Watch Your Head)—and I just get pissed off all over again every time I open the comics page and see that abomination in front of me.
(/end rant)
Rocky StoneaxeMarch 27th, 2011 at 8:44 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#92):
He’s not red, but he is a mutant starfish:
http://blog.newsarama.com/gallery/albums/userpics/10087/starro1.jpg
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