Dick Tracy, 4/5/11
Fans of the last few years of Dick Tracy have one important question now that the strip is under new artistic management: will each storyline end with the villain being killed in a unnecessarily gruesome fashion? We’re still at the very beginning of this story, so we can’t say for sure, but surely it’s a good sign that “Pouch” here got his name by having some kind of “pouch” lurking in the his repulsively slack neck-flesh. It has a snap, this skin-pouch! So delightfully gross!
Apartment 3-G, 4/5/11
Margo starts this strip with such a great quip that it’s sad how quickly she devolves into the state in which we find her in panel two. A quizzical, confused facial expression, an ill-fitting yellow sweatshirt (does she think it shows off her bosom to her advantage? because it does not), and a lurching attempt to escape from a sudden foliage attack — not her best moment. Still, “that bushy-haired, bearded guy who’s always winning Grammys,” ha!
Mary Worth, 4/5/11
Have you ever wanted to see two medical professionals psych themselves up to a sordid quickie in a hospital linen closet by quoting No Fear marketing copy to one another? Then today’s Mary Worth is for you, my friend.
This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 5, 2011 at 09:02 am and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Dick Tracy, Mary Worth. | 223 responses to “” queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoApril 5th, 2011 at 9:03 am [Reply]
the squee will not be post-jumped!
for True Fable.
stop and smell the flowers.
corgsqui for Fashion Police and bb,u.
supreme kewtness.
Ed DraveckyApril 5th, 2011 at 9:06 am [Reply]
A reminder to any ‘Mudgeons in the greater Dallas/Fort Worth area, Pearls Before Swine creator Stephan Pastis will be at A Real Bookstore in the Village at Fairview (the new shopping center just north of Allen) tonight at 7pm. It’s a book signing! I’ll be the fat guy in the front row.
Chip WhittleApril 5th, 2011 at 9:08 am [Reply]
Pouch comes by his gruesomeness the old-fashioned way, real honest Gouldian industry. He used to be enormously fat, and after losing a couple tons he looked at all his excess loose skin and thought: it would be silly to let this go to waste. And so he sewed up the flaps to be pouches in which he could store whatever was being called for.
Remember, if you’re not going, “wait, what?” you’re not reading the real Dick Tracy.
Maggie the CatApril 5th, 2011 at 9:10 am [Reply]
That nurse isn’t hot enough for Dr. Corey. Nor is she male enough.
SpundeApril 5th, 2011 at 9:11 am [Reply]
MW: Is the caramel peach they painted the cafeteria supposed to be calming? Because the complete lack of visual perspective, the way the walls disappear behind you like some sort of oddly lit void, is disorienting me so much I’m almost not terrified by the way the ceiling trim makes you feel like the building is collapsing.
Oh, and Liza? You’re covering up the Prozac label when you’re delivering your line to the camera, honey.
nescioApril 5th, 2011 at 9:13 am [Reply]
A3G: Of course Margo’s confused. Someone expressed interest in Tommie’s future?!?
B.C.: Female ant Maude doesn’t have hair, so what is that on top of the school teacher’s head? I hope it’s the beginning of a cordyceps infection that will wipe out the whole colony.
Marm: because several of the players were eaten.
Peanuts: Sally has her hand down 5’s pants.
nescioApril 5th, 2011 at 9:14 am [Reply]
@Spunde (#5): It’s for the treatment of melon-cholia.
Tom AllenApril 5th, 2011 at 9:15 am [Reply]
So, Dick Tracy features Ents now? Intriguing.
KrisApril 5th, 2011 at 9:15 am [Reply]
DT’s “The Pouch” is an old, old character. I first saw him when I was in high school and I am old, old. I remember being especially fascinated with the snap-fastener, which I assume was added so that people didn’t think Pouch was simply swallowing objects through his neck. I know he’s kept guns in there on more than one occasion.
frippyApril 5th, 2011 at 9:15 am [Reply]
Friday’s strip ends in Liza’s apartment, which is revealed to be a floor-to-ceiling shrine to Dr. Drew Cory. In the last panel, Liza, in her wedding dress, points her gun at Drew and says, “For you and me… the moment is NOW.”
pugfugglyApril 5th, 2011 at 9:15 am [Reply]
A3G: “What does that mean, Tommie?” I think it’s pretty clear from her expression that Tommie has no idea what that means. “He said talk about my future…I think he’s going to read my palm something…?”
At least Margo is being slightly more subtle about getting her to come out today: she’s just shaking her bosom a little to see how her roommate will react. What does this mean to you, Tommie??
MW And speaking of coming out, is ‘playing by ear’ some kind of, er, “Men’s Workout” euphemism?
MT Try as they might, those goons just can’t hover fast or high enough to catch up to Mark and his flying machine….
CanuckDownSouthApril 5th, 2011 at 9:18 am [Reply]
Does Drew have some kind of delusion magnet? Because I’m getting major deja vu from Dawn’s crush-on-the-doc storyline. I only hope this isn’t a Locher-Dick Tracy homage and we’ll spend the next year going over and over various women convincing themselves Drew is attracted to them… until the rats come.
The Phantom-Chatu standoff has now gone on so long that they’re having flashbacks to this very moment, for the convenience of the readers who have been unable to keep up with the riveting 10-day storyline of ‘are you going to shoot?’ — ‘you *can* die’ — ‘make up your mind’ — ‘no, you make up your mind’ — ‘neener neener neener’
DoodApril 5th, 2011 at 9:21 am [Reply]
And here I thought nurse Liza was thinking, “That’s funny, Dr. Drew never has two cups of coffee at home.”
LorneApril 5th, 2011 at 9:22 am [Reply]
AAAAAHHHH!!!!!
Can’t.. Unsee… Neck Vagina!
My eyes, my eyes, my eyes…..
April 5th, 2011 at 9:23 am [Reply]
Dan Diller = Rick Rubin
DoodApril 5th, 2011 at 9:24 am [Reply]
What is that artwork on the wall in Apartment 3-G, a portrait of life on Margo’s home planet?
Hemp DogbaneApril 5th, 2011 at 9:25 am [Reply]
Apartment 3G, starring Rick Rubin as Dan Diller!
Chip WhittleApril 5th, 2011 at 9:26 am [Reply]
Apartment 3-G: “Isn’t he that bushy-haired, bearded guy who’s always winning Grammys?” “Yeah, he’s pretty much got a lock on the bushy-haired beared guy category at the Grammys.” And thus begins Tommie’s descent into the sordid world of Country Polka.
Barney Google: “I’m off’rin’ to not sit out on yore porch scarin’ off customers wif heavy metal!! They’ll hafta get their lead poisonin’ through thru the water like honest folk!!”
Why the barrel full of Pop Tarts in the first panel?
Crankshaft: If holding the refrigerator door open is all it takes to keep Crankshaft fixed and in place pointing at it I’m surprised his family doesn’t leave the door open all day and night. It’s so rattled him he can’t even think of a cranky malapropism about the doors.
Crock: [CRUNCH] “I’ll never dance again.” “That was the plan.” “That man is weird.” Are we positive that Crock cartoonist Incomprehensible Scribble isn’t actually a secret agent and he’s using the dialogue to send coded messages back to his supervisors? The strange eerie effort to not quite approximate anything that people might say or that a joke might be could be deliberate, and the non-Euclidean horrors of the figures might be topographical surveys dressed up with mustaches. Can you say it isn’t happening?
Funky Winkerbean: With each flashback to how Les was bullied in high school, I want all the more to stuff Les’s head in the toilet bowl.
Gasoline Alley: As Slim and his presumed cousin prattle on, Clovia has quietly given up on life.
Mary Worth: Two people declare themselves to be play-by-the-ear, live-in-the-moment free spirits, by which they mean, they sometimes drink two percent, sometimes one percent, and sometimes even skim milk! And this one time, at a restaurant, she once ordered a green tea!
wossnameApril 5th, 2011 at 9:27 am [Reply]
@nescio (#7): I thought FC was where melon-cholia was a problem.
KiboApril 5th, 2011 at 9:27 am [Reply]
Re “Dick Tracy”: As Iman once said, not every species keeps their genitals in the same place. That’s right, he has balls on his chin.
Not Just Any DipstickApril 5th, 2011 at 9:28 am [Reply]
MT: Did you see the size of the interior of that ’small’ plane? Mark and Highjeans could have 3 people between them. In reality they would be touching shoulders, unless Mark was Lonnie’s size, and then he couldn’t punch out a bag of chips. And as if Mark could see below the plane out the right side windows. Not unless he has in 90 degree bank…. stall, spin, dead.
Gloom RaiderApril 5th, 2011 at 9:28 am [Reply]
In the second panel of MW, does anyone else think Nurse Liza looks a lot like a young version of our titular heroine? Has Mary been messing with a time-machine-like youthening contrivance in the Charterstone basement*?
* This device is not, of course, connected to the internet.
word-doctorApril 5th, 2011 at 9:30 am [Reply]
A3G-”That bushy haired, bearded guy who’s always winning Grammys” is a cruel tease to Roky Erickson fans everywhere.
Peanuts-It wasn’t always great in its latter days, but damn, it was great sometimes. One of the things I love about it is the tension that the girls feel between how they think ladies are supposed to act and how kids of both genders actually do at that age. Lucy, Sally, and Peppermint Patty all act this tension out, and all in radically different ways. Damn good.
Blondie-TWO DAYS IN A ROW IT’S HAD SOMETHING WORTH SAYING?!
MT-Black Raccoon Squadron, starring Mark Trail as Robert Conrad, is the syndicated version of “Trill Trill Black Raccoon.”
JasonApril 5th, 2011 at 9:33 am [Reply]
This episode of Dick Tracy guest written by: William Burroughs
Old School Allie CatApril 5th, 2011 at 9:34 am [Reply]
S4th – Is Alice Nona’s mother? Just wondering.
MW – Liza’s been reading The Secret – she believes Drew is hers. She’s acting like he’s hers, so it’s only a matter of time before her manifestations become reality.
Guilthorp – Al-Jo…what’s with the hair? Ponytail that hot mess!
Luann – Rosa looks like part Hispanic teen, part sleeping Pug. I’ve known plenty of both, and they don’t often win pageants.
Fungi Winkerbean – You know, this strip just glorifies the interference-free bullying of yesteryear. Nowadays, kids have feelings, and self-esteem, and resources to make sure that they escape unscathed from Middle School and High School. I think what I’m saying here is that Bull should have beat the tar out of Les when he had a chance.
Jesse RApril 5th, 2011 at 9:34 am [Reply]
With a thick, long stogie poking against the detective’s inner cheek and a massive tracheotomy scar that could be mistaken for one of Georgia O’Keefe’s flower paintings, today’s Dick Tracy reminds us all of the long association between smoking and sex.
nerowolfgalApril 5th, 2011 at 9:39 am [Reply]
MT – Yes, by the aid of vigorous shouting Mark has got the plane off the ground. Too bad he did not know that the smugglers always keep the fuel tanks low until they fill them for a drug run.
JamesApril 5th, 2011 at 9:42 am [Reply]
Say what you will about the hideous pouch-man, at least he has well-proportioned hands
twgApril 5th, 2011 at 9:43 am [Reply]
DT: Oh good, a neck vagina.
The Divine O'FApril 5th, 2011 at 9:43 am [Reply]
I’m sorry, Josh, I don’t find the new Dick Tracy delightful. I find it repulsive, which would be okay, because the last one was too. But most of all I find it mind-numbingly boring. Can’t read it.
twgApril 5th, 2011 at 9:44 am [Reply]
PS … MW: Why is Mary wearing a blonde wig and trying to seduce her boyfriend’s weird son?
seismic-2April 5th, 2011 at 9:45 am [Reply]
A3G, as scripted by the Zucker brothers: “That’s him, Margo. And now he wants to talk to me about my future.”
“What does that mean, Tommie?”
“It’s what is going to happen to me that hasn’t happened yet. But that’s not important now.”
“Of course not, Tommie. In your case, it never is.”
April 5th, 2011 at 9:45 am [Reply]
4-5 Weird Sound Effects:
Bleeker — ZIP
Crock — CRUNCH
Popeye — THUNK!
Dick Tracy — SNAP!
9CL — PHLBBBTHH…
Sam & Silo — TAP TAP
Todd the Dinosaur — JAB
The Argyle Sweater — WHAM!
Buckles — SWIPE! SWIPE! KICK… MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH
Piranha Club…
I can’t possibly do today’s strip justice, so you’ll have to read it for yourself:
http://www.seattlepi.com/comics-and-games/fun/Piranha/
FlummoxicatedApril 5th, 2011 at 9:46 am [Reply]
Only Les would lovingly put photos of him getting beat up in a scrapbook complete with those fancy photo corners. And black and white just captures the moment so nicely.
Good thing the Mark Trail drug smuggler goons have been taking lessons from the Keystone Cops – or else they would have realized they could have easily picked up that machine gun and shot down the plane. Oh awkward plot device – I can’t stay mad at you!
ShrugApril 5th, 2011 at 9:48 am [Reply]
@Kris (#9):
“DT’s “The Pouch” is an old, old character.”
So is/was Nothing Yonson (also namechecked today). And I assume Texie Garcia as well, though I can’t quite remember her.
In other news, the FAMILY CIRCUS melonhead blurts out the family secret about how Mommie had years before been kidnapped by a flying saucer and impregnated with alien sperm from one of the big-headed little grey men from Zeta Reticuli.
Dennis JimenezApril 5th, 2011 at 9:51 am [Reply]
MW – OK, ya’ll know that saying my sense of humor is juvenile, is an insult to juveniles, but I really did read today’s strip to say, “Live for the movement” today, and was thinking in my best medical lingo, bowel movements….
A3G – What does that mean, Tommie – you know, I always just had this feeling that English was a second language for Margo….
DT – Hey, it’s April already – what’s with this Marsupial Madness….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
[Old Man] MuffarooApril 5th, 2011 at 9:53 am [Reply]
PSA – Robert Crumb will be interviewed on WFMU today, talking about his love of old music on old records.
Underground artist/hero and avid 78 RPM collector Robert Crumb joins Mac on the Antique Phonograph Music Program. He will talk about why no music recorded after the 1930s matters, and provide other nuggets of wisdom gleaned from 50+ years spent collecting records. Links will be provided to video of Crumb’s interview! It happens on 4/5 from 8 to 9 PM (part 1 of 2).
Note that the program’s archives are linked via the entry at WFMU’s blog. They have a ton of stuff — or more accurately, they have days and days of it. Anyway, let’s snark, SHALL WE??
9 – Edda doesn’t know that Fernanda didn’t actually sit on the chair with the whoopee cushion on it.
Hi – So is mechanic “Bob” (not that “Bob”) really Rocky from Camp Swampy, or is it just the same actor earning a couple extra bucks?
[Old Man] MuffarooApril 5th, 2011 at 9:55 am [Reply]
Phantom has a plan that involves shooting Python so he can painstakingly nurse him back to health, after which Python will blow up some more buildings and then maybe the Phantom will let him have another shot at him and his family. Phase Twelve: Profit!
Snuffy – The heavy metal Jughaid refers to scaring Silas’s customers off wif is actually a chunk of scrap iron he found in the woods.
Zits – Jeremy likes his coffee like he likes his men: festooned with umbrellas and colorful globs of foam.
[Old Man] MuffarooApril 5th, 2011 at 9:56 am [Reply]
@wossname (#y243): Archie – OK, seriously, WTF is that thing in the foreground of panel 3?
Maybe it’s Li’l Jinx, getting ready for her big comeback.
@Chip Whittle (#18): Are we positive that Crock cartoonist Incomprehensible Scribble isn’t actually a secret agent and he’s using the dialogue to send coded messages back to his supervisors?
That might explain why the strip is always about as funny as one of those shortwave numbers stations.
April 5th, 2011 at 9:57 am [Reply]
Mark Trail: The art is amazingly lazy today. The plane, the two ‘guards’, and a rifle are all floating in featureless space in the first panel, with no frame of reference … except for the shrubbery in the corner of the frame. Amazingly, one of the guards had time to shave while the drug shed was burning down. It might have been more appropriate for the guard to say ‘Open the pod bay door, Hal’ instead of ‘What’s going on … who is that?’ although that’s always appropriate dialog for Mark Trail. In the second frame, all is well. Mark’s awesome mental powers have transported them far above the fist shaking earthbound losers.
DiggerApril 5th, 2011 at 9:59 am [Reply]
MW: So to Liza, a bland exchange of platitudes in a hospital cafeteria means “the moment is now?” I suppose this is a step up from her usual routine of sitting at home knitting and talking to her eighteen cats.
Rocky StoneaxeApril 5th, 2011 at 10:00 am [Reply]
Snuffy Smith — If he wants to scare people, Jughaid should take up the banjo:
http://www.thesahara.info/movies//deliverance2_guitar.jpg
Little Blue BicycleApril 5th, 2011 at 10:04 am [Reply]
Look for a broken ankle subplot now that Margo has fallen off the stepladder while finally taking down the Christmas wreath.
Edgy DCApril 5th, 2011 at 10:07 am [Reply]
Ever the cheapskate, Dr. Drew is now taking to winning women’s hearts with romantic lunches sitting on the mat of a boxing ring. You go, Dr. Drew. I’m in your corner.
Comcis FanApril 5th, 2011 at 10:09 am [Reply]
The 3/1 Mary Worth and 4/4 RMMD hamburger-shoving panels need to be, how do you kids say, mashed up?, and placed on a T-shirt.
Doctor HandsomeApril 5th, 2011 at 10:10 am [Reply]
Here’s how I picture ‘Pouch’s’ story playing out: He’ll snatch up the loot and be licking his lips for more, until Dick inserts himself into the situation. His goons will muff the whole caper, but Pouch will clam up when questioned, book the first flight to Acapulco on TWA, Then slit the informants’ throats. Tracy, whose wardrobe is always snappy, dug out a file earlier that day that somehow revealed Pouch’s whereabouts. But Pouch will be ready with an ambush. Even after taking a hatchet-wound to the shoulder, Tracy will challenge Pouch to box. Pouch will get pounded by Dick, then Dick will unload all over him, and he’ll be dead from 17 gunshot wounds. THE END.
Esther BlodgettApril 5th, 2011 at 10:12 am [Reply]
My local deadtree paper printed the wrong Funky this morning! I assume it’s tomorrow’s strip, based on what’s on the Chron website for today. Spoiler alert: It’s witty, lighthearted, and laugh-out-loud funny.
Nah, it’s more old-timey bullying photos.
Also re today’s (correct) strip: Finally thought of a comeback 40 years later, did you, Batiuk? Nice.
AustriaApril 5th, 2011 at 10:13 am [Reply]
@Old School Allie Cat (#25): re FW: I just graduated from high school about two years ago, and I can tell you firsthand the bullying was still largely interference-free. There may not be as much actual physical violence, but the bullying is still present regardless, and they’re really not doing much about it. What I’m saying is, Bull still has a chance to destroy Les with words.
BC: Man…that is one empty classroom.
FW: I thought “burn” was a more recent thing. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.
MT: Wait a minute. I just realized. Does Mark even have a pilot’s license? Or is it one of his 108 secret Trailian powers?
reNuts: Whoa! Holy crap, it’s those twins from the Christmas special! I didn’t think they actually existed in the comic!!!
PBS: CONTINUITY!!!
SF: I wanted to be a Pokemon trainer…
S. StoutApril 5th, 2011 at 10:16 am [Reply]
Luann: So the school won’t host or sponsor the pageant, but the teacher gets to make the rules about how Tiffany can run it? Can we even call it a pageant with 6 people? This storyline is so stupid my head is about to explode.
TheDivaApril 5th, 2011 at 10:16 am [Reply]
DT: Well, that’s one way to make do after a laryngectomy, I guess.
MW: Giella, no doubt inspired by Sidney Lumet’s work on Twelve Angry Men, uses low angles and a short depth of field to create a palpable sense of claustrophobic tension. Already Dr. Drew and Nurse Pixiehair can feel the inexorable will of Mary Worth forcing them down the path of stilted attraction, contrived difficulty, maudlin resolution, and finally, blandly smiling conformity.
9CL: What, you can make a whoopie cushion joke but actually saying the phrase “whoopie cushion” would be too low-brow?
C’shaft: “Don’t mind Grandpa; he hasn’t been the same since he saw Ghostbusters.”
FW: Batiuk’s attempt to jump on the “It Gets Better” bandwagon is par for the course with his approach to other serious social issues.
MT: Uh-oh, she didn’t tell him Otto’s henchmen can fly!
SM: Why the human vampire? I mean sure, vampire bats are a recognized species, but you never hear of cow vampires or or dog vampires or coatamundi vampires…
Rocky StoneaxeApril 5th, 2011 at 10:17 am [Reply]
Safe Havens — “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”
~ Emma Lazarus
April 5th, 2011 at 10:19 am [Reply]
In the second panel of MW! Is she talking to Dr. Corey! Or is she talking to her beloved glass of whole milk!!
NekrotzarApril 5th, 2011 at 10:21 am [Reply]
@TheDiva (#50): Why the human vampire? I mean sure, vampire bats are a recognized species, but you never hear of cow vampires or or dog vampires or coatamundi vampires…
There is Bunnicula.
Comcis FanApril 5th, 2011 at 10:22 am [Reply]
MW: Only in Mary Worth do people talk in endless streams of platitudes that they preface with “I’ve heards” and “It has been saids.” It’s as if Liza Colby can’t commit to the notion of living in the moment as the only way to live, can’t quite say she believes it herself, but throws the novel idea out there as a signal of approval to Dr. Drew. I suppose it’s more subtle than, “I’d like to play with your ear, I mean play it by ear, this very moment, and enjoy every minute.”
seismic-2April 5th, 2011 at 10:22 am [Reply]
DT: Because I am older than dirt, the image of “Pouch” has been fixed vividly in my memory ever since his first appearance in the strip, decades ago. Unfortunately, these days that same image is also fixed in my bathroom mirror, every morning.
Comcis FanApril 5th, 2011 at 10:24 am [Reply]
MW: I wonder if all the extras in Mary Worth are saying, “Wallawallawallwallawalla.”
Scott BotApril 5th, 2011 at 10:24 am [Reply]
MW – After seeing the look in Liza’s eyes in that last panel, and hearing her inner conversation, I just have one bit of advice to offer Dr. Corey – if you happen to have a pet rabbit, I think it would be best to ask a friend to take care of it for a little while.
Esther BlodgettApril 5th, 2011 at 10:25 am [Reply]
A3G: I think the most valuable advice Dan Diller could give Tommie would be to grow out that hideous hairstyle.
DT: Look at all those beautiful hands!
FC: The Batiukification of The Family Circus starts slowly, with Jeffy smirkingly talking about dead relatives. Next week, Billy develops a drinking problem and the dogs get cancer. Coming soon: Thel looks on with hooded eyes as Bil starts a passionless relationship with a new dreadlocked coworker.
Comcis FanApril 5th, 2011 at 10:25 am [Reply]
S4th: Ted should have married Alice.
Comcis FanApril 5th, 2011 at 10:27 am [Reply]
Blondie: Poor Dag.
Tube sockApril 5th, 2011 at 10:28 am [Reply]
Dennis’s menacing has finally made Alice go around the bend. Henry is buying her a get well card to take to the psych ward.
Esther BlodgettApril 5th, 2011 at 10:29 am [Reply]
@Ed Dravecky (#2): Beloved Spouse and I are thinking of going. We’ll be the couple who look exactly like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.
Comcis FanApril 5th, 2011 at 10:29 am [Reply]
FC: This one’s touching. No snark.
Rocky StoneaxeApril 5th, 2011 at 10:30 am [Reply]
@TheDiva (#50):
Cow vampires aren’t common, but they do exist:
http://www.hillcity-comics.com/comics/02_09_2011_09.jpg
teenchyApril 5th, 2011 at 10:32 am [Reply]
A3G: If Dan Diller is someone involved in the world of theater, wouldn’t be be winning Tonys instead of Grammys? ‘Course he could be winnin Grammys for his music for the theater. The mind reels…
DT: Never mind Pouch’s pouch, what about his lidless eyes and nostril slits where his nose should be? Is he some kind of burn victim?
teenchyApril 5th, 2011 at 10:33 am [Reply]
@teenchy (#65): er, “…wouldn’t he be winning Tonys…”
word-doctorApril 5th, 2011 at 10:35 am [Reply]
@Comcis Fan (#59):
Yep. He could’ve kept her in 80s eyewear and hairspray till death do them part.
LonghornApril 5th, 2011 at 10:35 am [Reply]
DT: He’s called “The Pouch” because…well, let’s face it, “The Scrotum” just won’t work in most family newspapers.
teenchyApril 5th, 2011 at 10:36 am [Reply]
and “winning Grammys.” Oof, it’s an extra-coffee morning.
Walker of DogApril 5th, 2011 at 10:37 am [Reply]
@Ed Dravecky (#2) & @Esther Blodgett (#62): There’s something north of Allen now? Back in my day, we called that Oklahoma.
@seismic-2 (#55): I hope your pouch is fastened with a snap and not a zipper. Because a zipper would be gross.
MapDarkApril 5th, 2011 at 10:40 am [Reply]
9cl : “Rubber bladers” REALLY 9CL , REALLY? I know people in this strip have signed a contract forbidding them from using normal human language , but how they went from “whoopie cushion” to “rubber bladers that simulate the sound of flatulences” is just… Heck ! I call them fart bags.
MW : Anybody else feeling a Fatal Attraction type story coming when Drew Corey simply doesn’t get her advances and she starts feeling rejected? XD
Liza “I WON’T BE IGNOOOOORED!” and since that family doesn,t have a rabbit , I guess she could boil Mary.
April 5th, 2011 at 10:44 am [Reply]
9CL: I don’t know, I really enjoyed today’s crossover with Herb and Jamaal.
Walker of DogApril 5th, 2011 at 10:45 am [Reply]
@MapDark (#71) & @TheDiva (#50): That pack of hyenas from the Wham-O trademark infringement unit is EVERYWHERE.
KatyApril 5th, 2011 at 10:48 am [Reply]
The coach in Gil Thorp this morning is really, really hot. And now that I”ve said that, I have to kill myself.
Rocky StoneaxeApril 5th, 2011 at 10:49 am [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#64):
Cow vampires aren’t common, but they do exist
The Tick’s Man Eating Cow also deserves an Honorable Mention:
http://www.internationalhero.co.uk/m/maneatco.jpg
Artist formerly known as BenApril 5th, 2011 at 10:49 am [Reply]
DT: Today I kind of wish that Jim Brozman were still on the strip. Then the art would be so murky that there would be some plausible deniability that I’d just seen that.
MW: This encounter will be legend in the hospital for years to come.
“Hey, did you know this is the same booth where that crazy nurse took a wild grab at some doctor’s meat thermometer?”
“Haha. That’s gross. Let’s move.”
H&L: It’s funny because Hi’s mechanic is trying to murder him.
Crock: You’ll never dance again, but you’ll still be able to lean on thin air as if it were a wall.
Momma: Oh well, hands don’t look like hands. Why should an audition look like an audition?
Phantom: When your third panel is a flashback to your first panel, it might be time for your friends to hold an intervention.
WofI: You don’t drink right after giving blood. You’ll pass out, and that’s how they get your kidney.
SFx: However that guy got zoning board permission to paint his house black, they’re going to rescind it pronto.
6C: People in glass houses…
RMMD: It’s very interesting that Larry “Bud” Melman had a short career in gay porn, but why are they showing stills from the movie here?
pugfugglyApril 5th, 2011 at 10:50 am [Reply]
A3G QUIZ OF THE WEEK!
This week’s topic concerns Tommie’s meeting with St. Rick DillerMarx, famed producer of grammy-winning records and beard aficionado, about her supposed future in the music industry. Obviously, this will not happen, it will not even begin, but what common plot device will be used to put the great wheel of fortune back where it belongs? Will it be that…
(A) …Diller turns out to be a music industry sleazebag, insinuating that the only way for Tommie to get to the top would be to dress scantily and sing songs about hoo-hahs and what-nots. After a number of decreasingly subtle ‘hints’ on how she could get ‘a head’ in the music biz, Tommie is disgusted and returns home to the taunts of Margot.
(B) …Diller offers Tommie the chance to be a star on her own terms, but she characteristically pusses out after thinking about leaving behind her beloved apartment, her cruel roommates and her dull, pathetic life. Diller sighs ‘whatever’ and leaves to make someone more deserving rich and famous, and Tommie returns home to the taunts of Margot.
(C) …’Diller’ actually is a hobotramp who just happens to look a like a famous producer. Tommie begins to catch on when he takes a ‘call from his agent’ on a diner dinner roll. Margot decides to meet them at the restaurant to taunt them in front of an audience.
Place your bets now…..
MibbitmakerApril 5th, 2011 at 10:50 am [Reply]
R=R: Great storytelling = pandering.
PBS: Pig’s friend Rat’s ex is a pig?! Hmmm….
MW: Oh, yeah, that’s why I don’t go for classic romantic comics — triteness!
Marvin: There’s a crapp for that.
Just Call Me EApril 5th, 2011 at 10:50 am [Reply]
@Chip Whittle (#3): I am absolutely loving the way that all the great, yucky villains of my youth with Dick Tracy are returning! Can Two-Face be far behind?
Artist formerly known as BenApril 5th, 2011 at 10:51 am [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#64): Hellcow was a creation of the late Steve Gerber. I remember the Howard the Duck story she first appeared in.
But What Do I Know?April 5th, 2011 at 10:55 am [Reply]
MT — I suppose we’ve left the Trailiad theme well-behind, but how cool would it be if Mark shouted out the plane’s window (in response to the bad guy’s “Who is that”)–”I am No Man.”
That would make up for about a month of plot inanities, IMHO. . .
spikeApril 5th, 2011 at 10:55 am [Reply]
@Maggie the Cat (#4): Win!
@Comcis Fan (#59): Maybe Sally’s worried about an impending Ted/Alice affair…?
@Comcis Fan (#60): With Blondie constanly spending everything Dag makes at Tudburry’s (sp?), “Poor Dag” has learned to live with what he’s got–food!
Dennis JimenezApril 5th, 2011 at 10:56 am [Reply]
@pugfuggly (#77): D) Diller is Jebus, with flour in his hair (San Fran Style) and beard – walking among mankind – testing our moral rectitude – BTW, I’m picturing Margo roasting in hell as the payday for this vignette in the strip.
MibbitmakerApril 5th, 2011 at 10:59 am [Reply]
Luann: Silly, silly Luann…
HotC: A generation gap between children???
GA: Today, he even looks like Todd Packer!
9CL: Brooke, you are so above that! — WHAT‘M I SAYING?!?!
BC: An ant with a pet dog?!
Oooooooookay…!
April 5th, 2011 at 10:59 am [Reply]
FC: From his perch atop the clock tower, Granddad Number 2 takes careful aim at Jeffy, muttering “You’ve given away my position for the last time, General Rommel.”
DT: Today’s Dick Tracy sets the record for most proper nouns in a 3-panel strip AND demonstrates the pitfalls of mistaking your sanitary napkins for your tampons.
JP: Abbey and the dishtowel commiserate in the second panel. The younger generation doesn’t appreciate the socially stabilizing effects of traditional gender roles.
S-M: OK, I found the second vampire. Not exactly Where’s Waldo.
Plug: Pluggers who convert their vehicles to battery-electric propulsion risk death by stoning if their secret is discovered. A love of the environment is a love which dare not speak its name.
RMMD:
Monkey hands,
Monkey face.
Dex defames
The human race.
April 5th, 2011 at 11:01 am [Reply]
MT-Yes, I did it, but how will she feel when she finds out that I can’t land a plane.
Li'l Bunnë FooFooApril 5th, 2011 at 11:01 am [Reply]
Today I saw a character on the funny pages that made me feel physically ill just looking at him. This would be surprising, only it was in Dick Tracy, a strip whose nausea per square inch rivals a Korean horror movie.
I’d like to point out that apparently you can show a man pull a wallet out of his neck, but you still can’t show two guys kissing, because that would be gross.
Artist formerly known as BenApril 5th, 2011 at 11:02 am [Reply]
Ah. Today’s Classic Peanuts goes back far enough that Shermy is actually in it.
But What Do I Know?April 5th, 2011 at 11:03 am [Reply]
FC — Two gramps have I, of comfort and despair,
Which mother says do suggest me still:
The better is Thel’s old man right fair,
The other is Bill’s dad colored ill.
(With apologies to Billy Shakespeare)
MibbitmakerApril 5th, 2011 at 11:07 am [Reply]
FW:
Teen Les then: Sad sack victim.
Teen Les “now”: Just a smug bastard.
Gotta love hate the retconning of the ’70s-’80s!
A3G: Margo: “Can I wish me luck instead? — Just on general terms, mind you…”
DT: Pouch’s real name: Tracheotomy Jones.
Effluvius ErratusApril 5th, 2011 at 11:19 am [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#76):
Phantom: When your third panel is a flashback to your first panel, it might be time for your friends to hold an intervention.
Perhaps Chatu already shot the Phantom, and now his life is flashing before his eyes, bringing him nearer to the moment when he is shot, at which point the strip will jump all the way back to February 17, 1936.
CalicoApril 5th, 2011 at 11:19 am [Reply]
Blond chick in MW panel one reminds me of someone, but I can’t quite put my finger on who exactly.
Maybe Leisha Haley or Chyna Phillips?
In panel two she looks a little like…Kate Gosselin…NOOOOOOOOOO
April 5th, 2011 at 11:21 am [Reply]
ECity: I just bought a radio with a cassett player and CD player, new, last December
– so NYAH, NYAH, strip!
Phantom: This is getting like the last Locher Dick Tracy story! Watch closely to see if their fingers start getting any shorter in coming days.
SequelManApril 5th, 2011 at 11:23 am [Reply]
@Liam (#86): Shades of Indiana Jones, when he says (something like) “I know how to fly alright, I just don’t know how to land.” Mark should try a bullwhip every now and then… saves the knuckles.
{Proud to say that Harrison Ford got his pilot’s license in good ol’ Teterboro, New Jersey! We’re not all a bunch of Jersey Shore a-holes, or Soprano wack-job mobsters.}
April 5th, 2011 at 11:25 am [Reply]
GT – ‘And I’m extra hard on shortstops.’
Well, that explains this ‘lost’ panel I ran across the other day:
‘I’m Glory Alcala, your assistant coach. From now on you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and the last word out of your filthy sewers will be “Ma’am”. Do you maggots understand that?’
Doctor HandsomeApril 5th, 2011 at 11:30 am [Reply]
I’m intrigued by the steamy sexual tension in today’s Mary Worth. Of course I am referring to the couple we see over Dr. Drew’s stupid shoulder in panel one. Is that the same tan-suited guy Drew gave the flirty “Heil Hitler” to on Friday? Man, dude is on fire!
Doctor HandsomeApril 5th, 2011 at 11:31 am [Reply]
The inexplicably different couple we see in panel two doesn’t interest me at all.
CalicoApril 5th, 2011 at 11:33 am [Reply]
@Kibo (#20):
Just like that stuck-up dude in Crock. Gaaaaah.
Is “Scrotum face” a medically recognized condition?
@Comcis Fan (#60):
Today’s guest writer-Tom Batuik.
April 5th, 2011 at 11:35 am [Reply]
FC
“And pray that there’s intelligent life somewhere up in space,
‘Cause there’s bugger all down here on Earth.”
April 5th, 2011 at 11:41 am [Reply]
We here at the Mudge think we’re so great. We think we’re all that. But what do we really do besides sit around an complain and make fun? Do we really think we’re so much better than the professional comic artists who make these strips every day for a living?
Well yes, of course we do, because we are. And it’s time to start trying to help the comics creators actually become better at their jobs! Build up, people! Don’t tear down! Build up!
9CL: Okay, McEldowney. You can make a good comic strip. Surely you can. Here’s a quick pointer! See, in today’s comic, you’ve got Seth babbling on and on in the most esoteric way when all he really needed to say was “I find it hard to associate those words with a girl who keeps hiding whoopee cushions all over the apartment.” Yes, I know, I can hear your shock and dismay already. What, you are asking yourself, would you use all that vast space left in the panel if not increasingly verbose word balloons? Well, here’s a suggestion . . . how about putting the cat on top of the sofa, happily lazing away the day?
Because that’s what we want, McEldowney. Not your pontificating pretentious “plots” or your simple-minded thesaurus-spewing “characters”. We want the cat.
Give us the goddamned CAT.
Archie: As for you, AJGLU3000 . . . nah, you’re cool. We want hot hallway chicks, and you deliver. Good job.
Curtis: Right, so the bullies got written out, and now the family’s money problems are solved. It’s a good start in the right direction, Billingsley, and I applaud that! Next you should have Curtis and that girly of his actually get together in a stable, healthy relationship and you’ll be well on your way to phasing out everything your insipid “jokes” are based on! Then, onto the next stage of making you a tolerable comics creator . . . shutting down Curtis and never creating comics ever again!
FC: Bil and Jeff, I’m afraid that your comic will only become bearable if at least 50% of the melonheads also start living “up there”. Or “down there” rather, which is much more likely. I would suggest offing Billy and Jeffy. Without the jerkass ringleader and the idiotic pointman, the remaining kids will lose the parts of their tired old schtick that relies on reacting or being reacted to by the others. Which is to say, pretty much all their tired old schtick. The next step is to age the characters up a little bit and introduce a genre shift. Dolly is now a young single mother working the pole down at the club to make ends meet. PJ is now a mute drug dealer looking for the big score.
But they’re still family, dammit, and they’ll help each other through the hard times, one circle at a time.
Crank & FW: Batiuk, stop “writing” and just draw your few attractive characters in skimpy clothing and various states of undress. Let Ayers help you with that, too. And as a personal favor to me, make sure there’s lots of Pam and Becky. Just . . . no more talking. Please.
GT: Just let the team win the playdowns already, Rubin! Any of the teams, even if they don’t actually have playdowns to win! Actually, that would really spice it up a little. Instead of whatever story you were planning with the current folks, you should totally have the baseball teams run onto the football field, play against some other school’s teams (they don’t necessarily have to be baseball players too), and totally stomp their asses, taking home the Calvinball Cup for Milford High!
H&L: Dear Walker-Brown Amalgamated et cetera, there is a time when a “classic” becomes “a piece of shit everyone is tired of hearing”. This is one of those times. Next time, consider making a joke about kindles. Sincerely, Jim.
JP & RMMD: Mr. Wilson, I know it’s difficult to write two comic strips at the same time. Most people simply can’t live at that speed. This does not mean that you should try and slow that speed down to a turtle-like crawl in order to keep up. I would suggest dropping one of these strips (My recommendation? The dead-weight that is Rex Morgan. Yeesh.) and concentrate solely on the other. Perhaps that way we can finally get Sophie aged all the way up to 18 already so my Baretto-themed fantasies about her can finally be appropriate and fulfilling instead of creepy and upsetting.
Jumble: More jumbled up naughty words, mule!
Luann: Evans, your crimes against comics and humanity are numerous. At this point the only solution I can see is for you to have Crystal graduate and move on to her own spin-off comic where she learns witchcraft and uses it to defeat mystical forces that want to destroy/rule the mortal realm. Once this is accomplished, simply let Luann die (both the character and the comic). Also, you should probably get someone else to both write and draw Crystal, Occult Enchantress of the Dark.
MT: Oh, Jackelrodball, I know you inherited the strip from a guy who was obviously smoking something other than tobacco in that pipe of his, but that doesn’t mean you also need to be as high as the drug smugglers that are eerily floating up into the stratosphere in today’s strip.
Marm: Stop, Mr. Anderson. Just stop making these comics before they accidentally summon the real Mar’Maduk from the depths to consume us all.
Marvin: I’m going to have to suggest aversion therapy for you, Armstrong. For every Marvin strip that includes some sort of “Marvin shits himself” or “old guys pee themselves” “joke”, every single person here at the Mudge will send you a soiled diaper each. I’m not going to ask where they get these from, just as I hope no one asks where I’ll be getting mine. Just know that they will be arriving in your mailbox, Mr. Armstrong, every time.
Every. Time.
MW: Ms. Moy, please stop writing the same three stories over and over again. Maybe try taking a break from the comic for a while, go out and read a few books, watch a few movies, and then come back refreshed with some new ideas and inspiration! And for fuck’s sake, just kill off Wilbur already.
Phantom: Think before you write, DePaul! After you start writing a new plot but before you send it to Mr. Ryan to get drawn, I want you to try this handy little writing exercise. Actually go out and perform the actions and make the decisions that you have the Ghost-Who-Convolutes perform and make. If you actually survive the experience, then run with that story! Run like the wind!
If you don’t survive . . . well, that’s good, too.
Pluggers: Stop relying on other people to tell you what pluggers are like, MacNelly. They obviously have no idea.
R=R: I’m not even going to touch the writing, because I could go on for days. So you can just sit this one out Mr. Brady. Now, Mr. Wimmer . . . you can draw hands. I know you can. I’ve seen you do it. So please please please stop grafting those weird metal shavings onto the ends of people’s wrists 90% of the time! Was it how Brady used to draw them? Is that why you do this? Well, sir, let me just explain to you that Brady drew his own fucking comic wrong.
Also, the strip could use some more hard core nudity. Not of Jimbo or Pasquale, of course. Those two should just be phased out of the strip entirely, really.
SF: Hahahahaha! Craig and Ces . . . you guys are alright.
Shoe: To the Shoe crew, I give only this advice: continue making the goggle eyes of terror more and more over the top. If they aren’t taking up the entire final panel by the end of 2011, I will be extremely disappointed.
S-M: Go out, buy some old TPBs of the real Spidey comics, and don’t come back until you’ve read them all and can prove that you understand what’s in them. For extra credit, watch the first two Raimi-directed movies and the entire run of The Spectacular Spider-Man cartoon.
Zits: CHANGE. HECTOR. BACK. YOU FUCKHEADS.
And that concludes our lesson for today! I’m sorry I wasn’t able to get around to helping all of you, comic strip creators, but know that I had you in my heart and my crosshairs the entire time. And next time, I won’t hesitate to pull that trigger.
BAM.
Uncle LumpyApril 5th, 2011 at 11:50 am [Reply]
DT — The Pouch always reminded me of Al Capp’s Schmoos — something about the smile, long neck, and eagerness to please.
Uncle LumpyApril 5th, 2011 at 11:55 am [Reply]
@Jim North (#100):
Good advice throughout! I’d make one minor change: Crystal, Occult Enchantress of the Dirk.
Because everything’s better with oaves.
commodorejohnApril 5th, 2011 at 12:03 pm [Reply]
The minute I read “No Fear” I was instantly transported back to the 1990s and assaulted with screeching X-treme guitar riffs and BMX bikers doing jumps in slow motion. I have to say, that is not a sensation I typically associate with Mary Worth.
A3G – Yahh! Margo’s gone all Judge Parker all of a sudden! …not that I’m complaining, it’s just kind of a surprise.
Crankshaft – ‘Shaft is afraid they’ll let Zuul out.
Crock – Crock finally gets so bizarre that it morphs into something that seems to make sense on its own terms, only it’s 90° off from any normal definition of “making sense.”
DT – So, are they just going to keep piling on the apparently preexisting and beloved Dick Tracy villains until they’ve pitted Dick against his entire rogues’ gallery all in one go? What, are they planning to kill them all off and start fresh?
Dilbert – Now I remember why I still read Dilbert.
HTH – I laughed.
HOTC – I kind of want to know if Bieber is really promoted with things like that “8 Mile by Margaret Keane” picture Kat’s holding, but I really, really am not ready for the answer. I think I’ll just continue on in blissful ignorance of this whole affair.
JP – DON’T DO THIS DON’T DO THIS DON’T FUCKING DO IT. News flash: some of us guys like smart girls. Some of us don’t feel threatened by them. If anybody wants to start a petition about this, or knows where to send angry letters to Woody Wilson, they can count on my involvement.
Liō – Yes.
Luann – Nice of Token Hispanic Girl to just stand there mutely so Greg doesn’t have to do anything that would resemble adding another character to his cast. If she hadn’t turned her head I’d have assumed she was a mannequin.
MT – hahahahahahaha oh man. This is why I love Mark Trail.
MW – “COME BACK TO MY PLACE AND I WILL RAVISH YOU WITH THE FURY OF A THOUSAND AMAZONS. I mean, isn’t it nice that you’re back in Santa Royale? Please tell me more about your time in Vietnam. AND THEN WE WILL MAKE WITH THE SEXUAL CONGRESS.”
SF – Okay, seriously, is Alice just Ted in a wig?
Effluvius ErratusApril 5th, 2011 at 12:10 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#103): SF – Okay, seriously, is Alice just Ted in a wig?
Or is Ted just Alice without a wig?…
Frank Lee MeidereApril 5th, 2011 at 12:11 pm [Reply]
@Dood (#13): Thanks for bringing back the oldies.
“My wife. I think I’ll keep her.”
Baka GaijinApril 5th, 2011 at 12:20 pm [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#38): Ha ha, he said “festooned.” Ha ha!
@Doctor Handsome (#46): Oh, God, that was great. How did you ever think of it?
@MapDark (#71) on Mary Worth: “I guess she could boil Mary.” I wish we had a Culinary Police here. I wonder how long boiling takes to soften up granite.
@pugfuggly (#77): I’ll sing it in my favorite key: C C CCCCCC cccCCCCC!
@Walker of Dog (#85) on Dick Tracy: Oh no you di-in’t!
Doctor HandsomeApril 5th, 2011 at 12:27 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#103): I’d like to sign your petition, but I’ve completely compartmentalized my appreciation of intelligence from my tolerance of Judge Parker.
Esther BlodgettApril 5th, 2011 at 12:27 pm [Reply]
@Jim North (#100): The cat. We like the cat!
I like the cut of your jib, sir.
Little GuyApril 5th, 2011 at 12:28 pm [Reply]
DT: If I wanted to see a person with a genetically-engineered pouch in the skin, I’d rather it be her.
Funky: So, bullying causes cancer?
CloudbusterApril 5th, 2011 at 12:29 pm [Reply]
pvponline: http://www.pvponline.com/2011/04/05/pitching-a-fit/ Man, if some enviro-doofus was standing at my door threatening to do that, I’d go out and mark my names on the boxes right away just for the free show.
bats :[April 5th, 2011 at 12:32 pm [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#222): MW: I, too, think that Pie Lady will be Dexter’s savior from the no-goodniks Brushie and the ‘Stash. Sorta. Kinda. In a certain way. Maybe.
RMMD: Huh. I should’ve guessed that Dr. Drew, Manwhore, wouldn’t have let any opportunity (or linen closet) slip by, even if he has ulterior motives.
(I love the creepy goons in DT…so retro!)
Doctor HandsomeApril 5th, 2011 at 12:34 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#106): I’ll be honest: I lifted the whole thing verbatim from an old issue of Highlights.
Scott BotApril 5th, 2011 at 12:39 pm [Reply]
FC – So the other Grandpa lives in Hell? I wonder what he did to deserve that.
MustangApril 5th, 2011 at 12:40 pm [Reply]
When Tommie says “Wish me luck”, she means “Pray that I endure the horrors that my master, Dan Diller, has planned for me.” All she knows is that she has no control over anything that happens to her, including that haircut.
Baka GaijinApril 5th, 2011 at 12:46 pm [Reply]
Cow and Boy: Sotto voce Bryan Clark says, “We are here at comics.com, where we’ve secretly replaced the fine Cow and Boy discourse they usually serve with Mary Worth dialog. Let’s see if anyone can tell the difference!”
Sally Forth: If Ted had a nickel for each time someone retorted about his conversations dying natural deaths, he’d be able to buy a Wookie. Not a costume but a genuine Wookie.
Pluggers: You’re a plugger if the new five-year battery you are installing is the fifth one for the same vehicle this year. There, fixed.
JoshuaApril 5th, 2011 at 12:49 pm [Reply]
@S. Stout (#49): In 2004, Emily Yoffe, a columnist for Slate.com, entered the Mrs. Washington, D.C. pageant as part of her “Human Guinea Pig” series where she tried doing unusual things. She was unhappy to find that nobody else entered and that she won by default (she resigned the title so that she wouldn’t have to go to the national pageant). The Mrs. Maryland pageant, which was combined with the Mrs. Washington, D.C. pageant, had only seven entrants that year.
Scott BotApril 5th, 2011 at 12:49 pm [Reply]
Pluggers – Apparently leaving your right turn signal on for ten miles is harder on the battery than I thought.
Vince MApril 5th, 2011 at 12:52 pm [Reply]
@Austria (#48): re. reNuts (hee): The twins are named 3 and 4, sisters of 5 (second from left) – they were referenced by him and I think, I THINK I’ve seen them in one or two other strips.
Nice strip showing the group before they started thinning out – but where’s Linus?
April 5th, 2011 at 12:54 pm [Reply]
@S. Stout (#49): “So the school won’t host or sponsor the pageant, but the teacher gets to make the rules about how Tiffany can run it?”
You know, back when I was in school, the idea of the school sticking their nose into anything I did on my own time would have been ridiculous, but nowadays, when schools think they have the right to police students’ Facebook and Twitter activities, as well as their hobbies, diet and political activities, it wouldn’t surprise me a bit.
bats :[April 5th, 2011 at 12:57 pm [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#38): re Zits: my take on idiot Jeremy’s likes and dislikes: If you don’t *like* coffee, don’t *drink* coffee.
Why couldn’t that car accident last week or so pushed him off a bridge?
@Nekrotzar (#53): yay, Bunnicula!
@Esther Blodgett (#62): ooh ahh! Impromptu CC meetup! Kidnap Pastis for the win!
@Longhorn (#68): maybe “The Scrote”? A little too close to the mark?
@Walker of Dog (#85): re RMMD: BurmaShave.
@Jim North (#100): re 9CL: here you go, Jim. Think calm, fuzzy thoughts…
Fashion PoliceApril 5th, 2011 at 12:57 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#103), @Effluvius Erratus (#104):
Well now. That is certainly grist for the mill. We have long suspected Mr. Forth’s passion for dresses, and have periodically admonished Mr. Marciuliano to let him out of the closet. To think that he lives a double life as Alice has a certain crazy logic. However, with a bit of nose-putty and a darker wig he’s a dead ringer for Miss Phelps. They have exactly the same body-shape. It further seems to us that Mr. Forth would likely choose to lead one-half of his double life away from the neurotic Mrs. Forth. A fellow needs a break, n’est-ce pas?
April 5th, 2011 at 12:58 pm [Reply]
One would be willing to wager good money that Miss Lisa Colby graduated from the Abigail Thompson School of Nursing.
This GuyApril 5th, 2011 at 12:59 pm [Reply]
Marvin: I want to invent a new type of drawing table that shocks the cartoonist every time he thinks that putting a technological buzzword in a strip automatically makes it funny.
SF: Ah, yes, the rarely-seen kidnapping fetish.
@Jim North (#100): I will point out that Jeff MacNelly died several years ago. Brookins is in charge of Pluggers now.
Plinko CommieApril 5th, 2011 at 1:02 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#113): My first instinct was that one grandpa was in heaven and the other one was in hell. Then I realize he meant the other one was living with them. So my first instinct was right.
Calvin's Cardboard BoxApril 5th, 2011 at 1:04 pm [Reply]
MW – So, do you like Rogers and Hammerstein musicals? Are you partial to contemporary art … of a sort? If so, I think we have already met your soulmate.
Unless you happen to be Charlie’s twin sister, and even then I suspect he will be game.
Jim NorthApril 5th, 2011 at 1:05 pm [Reply]
Now, a lot of folks have been coming down on Judge Parker for apparently saying that boys don’t like smart girls and that Abbey’s advice is going to be that Sophie dumb herself down in order to be more attractive to her eventual victim. But if I may suggest an alternate interpretation?
Right now, JP is in that same nebulous area that Wilson has put Rex Morgan . . . there’s a lot being said without anything actually being said. While there is definitely the possibility that all the stuff y’all fear is about to come crashing down, it’s also possible that Abbey is going to tell Sophie that boys – or girls, or whoever it is you’re attracted to – don’t like it when you compete with them. Which is exactly what Sophie is doing with her “HA HA! I got a better grade than him! I WIN!” nonsense. I’m one of those guys who likes intelligent ladies, but that doesn’t mean I’d like them lording that intelligence over me all the time.
Smart? Cool. Competitive? Not so much.
Of course, I’m being very optimistic here. Abbey and Sophie’s conversation may very well go more like the one between Bebe and her mom on South Park. “Mom . . . what’s six times seven?” “Oh, honey, those are two completely different numbers!”
@The Diva (#50): Behold, Count Duckula!
@Uncle Lumpy (#102): And since he’ll be mind controlled, we won’t have to listen to any of his nonsensical faux-zen ramblings! BRILLIANT!
@Esther Blodgett (#108): Why thank you! I had it professionally cut down at the shop.
But though there should definitely be more of the cat, obviously, I also wouldn’t mind continuing with the legs. Of course, smaller word balloons would definitely help with that as well. And hey, the cat is usually right down there at leg level! It works out for everybody!
@This Guy (#123): Curses! My sources have failed me yet again! Damn you, internets!
That’s it! I’m going kite-flying!
Plinko CommieApril 5th, 2011 at 1:06 pm [Reply]
@Austria (#48): I think “burn” got retconned into the 70’s by Michael Kelso’s constant use of it on That 70’s Show. Of course, in Funkytown that burn is a sunburn, which causes melanomas and … well, you can fill in the rest from there
LiamApril 5th, 2011 at 1:06 pm [Reply]
FC-I love the way little children talk about their grandparents burning in hell.
SophieApril 5th, 2011 at 1:06 pm [Reply]
So I first misread Family Circus today as Jeffy crowing, “We’ve got two granddad’s too. One lives down there and one lives up there,” and thought, cheerfully snarky Jeffy is almost as amazing as petulantly ignorant Billy! Unfortunately, I reread it. *sigh*
Frank Lee MeidereApril 5th, 2011 at 1:19 pm [Reply]
@Cloudbuster (#119): Sing it, Cloudbuster. Schools now control every aspect of children’s lives except for their education.
bourbon babe, unbuckledApril 5th, 2011 at 1:19 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#1): That professorial corgi would look much more bb,u-ish with a glasses chain around his little neck!
I’m still in “I need a bottle o’ something good from a vending machine” state, but I have this to look forward to: annual composition conference, followed by a visit with the gracious wossname and the delightful True Fable (guess which part of the trip will be the most fun)! Yay!
ninjitudeApril 5th, 2011 at 1:22 pm [Reply]
Whenever Tommie uses a two syllable word, Margo likes to make sure that she’s not just parroting something she heard once and liked the sound of. Good job, Margo. You caught her again.
Frank Lee MeidereApril 5th, 2011 at 1:25 pm [Reply]
@Calico (#98):
Regarding Blondie:
@Comcis Fan (#60):
Today’s guest writer-Tom Batuik.
Nope. Can’t be. It’s funny. Soul-crushing, sure. But it’s soul-crushing in a funny way.
wossnameApril 5th, 2011 at 1:28 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#131): We’ve got plenty of bottles here, bourbon babe, if you can just stay composed (yuk yuk) and hold out til Saturday. Woodford Reserve… chardonnay… malbec… ice wine…
@Jim North (#126): re JP – I’m also anticipating that Wilson is going to surprise us with some kind of a twist on this. Surely he wouldn’t, he couldn’t, have Abbey tell her to hide her smartness if she wants to snare this guy.
AviatrixApril 5th, 2011 at 1:36 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (Y233): Yes, definitely. If I had to pick just five strips to follow, and I was doing it for the funny, not the pain, Blondie would be on my list. It knows its characters, and knows we know them, and works with that. And it works.
TophatApril 5th, 2011 at 1:37 pm [Reply]
After you’re done being horrified by the sight of a hideous man shoving objects directly into his neck, Pouch’s comment here seems awfully mystical. “Ed’s a COMPUTER WIZARD. To launch a fireball directly into your face from your monitor, please enter your credit card number or paypal account.”
Here’s a prediction: This time, rodents will endlessly spill out of Pouch’s neck hole, devouring an entire S&M convention. Because it wasn’t weird enough the first time it happened.
commodorejohnApril 5th, 2011 at 1:38 pm [Reply]
@wossname (#134): I do hope you’re right – Wilson did surprise us by not pulling an Anthony with mister “pity me, I’m divorced” and Neddy. But I’m not going to hold my breath…
spikeApril 5th, 2011 at 1:41 pm [Reply]
@ Josh: Pretty good character analysis, especially if you haven’t been keeping up with DT since 1971. Pouch originally weighed 500 pounds and billed as “A Quarter-ton of Man” in a side show. When he lost weight, the skin around his neck wasn’t reabsorbed by his body, so he had snaps “surgically attached” [Hey! It was the early Seventies...]. That I remember his origin enough to verify on a web source frightens me even more…
Baka GaijinApril 5th, 2011 at 1:44 pm [Reply]
@Doctor Handsome (#112): “I’ll be honest: I lifted the whole thing verbatim from an old issue of Highlights.” WHAT???? Goofus said that. I know that dweeb Gallant would be too busy helping old ladies across the street or lifting a lame dog’s leg to pee to even think of something that naughty.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoApril 5th, 2011 at 1:45 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#131): pictures in pencil skirts! (well, maybe not True Fable or any adorable goats that happen to wander by.) ;-)
sounds like a wonderful get-together!
Scott BotApril 5th, 2011 at 1:46 pm [Reply]
@Plinko Commie (#127): Since this flashback is from the 1970’s, I think the character is singing the popular 1976 song Disco Inferno by the Trammps. Unfortunately, he’s one of the slower students, and the word ‘burn’ is the only part of the song he knows.
Frank Lee MeidereApril 5th, 2011 at 1:47 pm [Reply]
JP: Those who believe that Abbey will tell Soph that she should hide her intelligence are wrong, as are those who think Abbey will tell Soph to be proud of her intelligence. Nor will Abbey recommend that Soph stop competing. Instead, this story line will play out the same as all the others: completely forgotten as we suddenly switch to another plot.
GallantApril 5th, 2011 at 3:16 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#139):
Well, Mr. Baka, you might just be surprised at some of the naughtiness, sir — some of it involving Mother, I dare say!
CheesegritsApril 5th, 2011 at 3:20 pm [Reply]
Blaze fashion in the real world! Of course it would be the Hansons!
http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2011/04/04/2196974/celebrity-roundup-040411.html?spill=1?img=32
Black DrazonApril 5th, 2011 at 3:20 pm [Reply]
Like so many times with soap opera strips, I find myself drawn to the contents of some characters’ glass. Is the young lady in Mary Worth drinking milk? Opaque water? Opaque vodka? I’m hoping toward the latter, as it’s the only thing that would take my mind off of the cafeteria paint job, which seem to have been pre-coloured to hide my vomit the moment it hits the walls.
Phred22April 5th, 2011 at 3:25 pm [Reply]
@Shrug (#35): I also remember Pouch and Nothing Yonson. While I forget Pouch’s fate, Nothing was killed by a 50s punk named Joe Period after Nothing left Joe to die in a freight car. Is this the start of Resurrection?
Baka GaijinApril 5th, 2011 at 3:26 pm [Reply]
Was I the only one who couldn’t get to this domain for a while? I swear sometimes I have clowns nibbling on my fiber optic cable to the internet.
@Gallant (#143): Your middle name isn’t “Oedipus” by any chance?
Baka GaijinApril 5th, 2011 at 3:27 pm [Reply]
@Phred22 (#146): I hate to answer a question with a question but, oh who am I kidding? I love to answer a question with a question. Here it is: would a Resurrection be so bad?
Jim NorthApril 5th, 2011 at 3:28 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#147): You’re not the only one. It was down for about an hour and a half.
teenchyApril 5th, 2011 at 3:31 pm [Reply]
@spike (#138): So he’s not a burn victim! Still doesn’t explain where his nose went.
AviatrixApril 5th, 2011 at 3:32 pm [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#76): Then the art would be so murky that there would be some plausible deniability that I’d just seen that.
I’m still screaming from having seen it. And now you’ve opened up the possibility that it’s been happening in previous storylines and I just couldn’t tell.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Doctor HandsomeApril 5th, 2011 at 3:33 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#139): See, now I’m not sure who doesn’t know who’s kidding anymore. Sarcasm in print is confusing. That wasn’t actually in Highlights, I’m just a dirty drunk.
Mordock999April 5th, 2011 at 3:37 pm [Reply]
@S. Stout (#49):
Re: Luann – I’m WITH You on THIS one. If the Pagent is NOT being held on school grounds then I don’t see where the teachers have ANY say so on HOW its run. Someone need to tell Phelps to take a hike.
Re: Dick Tracy – Eh. Having the villians die Horribly has been a stable of the Dick Tracy strip from the very begining. Hell, I remember one strip years ago, where artist Chester Gould had this Chimp/Ape/Oranguatan thing jump on the Bad Guys helicopter as they were trying to escape, causing it to crash into the side of as mountain. Gould spent a week lovingly showing the two baddies being slowly COOKED to Death inside the chopper’s bubble canopy! Ahhhh, how I MISS the Good Old days……,
___________
DEATH to TJ!!!
April 5th, 2011 at 3:39 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#120): Oops, I missed this before! KITTY!
Truly the perfect 9CL.
Mr. MagooApril 5th, 2011 at 3:41 pm [Reply]
MW: In panel 1, it looks like they’re having a picnic on the floor of a boxing ring.
CalicoApril 5th, 2011 at 3:43 pm [Reply]
@Jim North (#100):
Re: Curtis – “Ooooooh, more money for my nicotine addiction! Back off, boy!”
April 5th, 2011 at 3:43 pm [Reply]
I … I just went to see Greg Evans’s blog. It has a section titled “from whence genius spurteth.”
http://thecartooniststudio.com/greg
I am going to be over here in the corner vomiting up my toenails. Thanks.
ElkMeadowApril 5th, 2011 at 3:44 pm [Reply]
@TheDiva (#50):
SM: Why the human vampire? I mean sure, vampire bats are a recognized species, but you never hear of cow vampires or or dog vampires or coatamundi vampires…
There’s a bunny rabbit vampire that’s been haunting children’s literature for 25 years now: Bunnicula!
ElkMeadowApril 5th, 2011 at 3:45 pm [Reply]
@Nekrotzar (#53):
Sorry, Nekrotazar, didn’t see yours before I posted.
Walker of DogApril 5th, 2011 at 3:46 pm [Reply]
@Jim North (#100): Top-notch advice from start to finish, and now that you’ve unburdened yourself, you’ll sleep so soundly tonight. But your recommendation to Mr. Batiuk might be misinterpreted, since he considers Les to be an attractive character. And no one wants to see more of Les Moore. Because in the case of Les Moore, less is more.
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 5th, 2011 at 3:46 pm [Reply]
@Jim North (#100): Give us the CAT. Free CUE. CASH the lottery ticket. Just someone SHOOT already. A hush will fall over the ‘Mudgeons, all the better for you to identify and help those of us still screaming from the trauma of Pouch.
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 5th, 2011 at 3:52 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#120): I have a new idea for my proposed 9CL-methadone programme. Instead of removing the dialogue altogether from 9CL, harm reduction will be effected by a) running the dialogue back and forth through Google translate a couple of times, finishing with Elmer Fudd and b) replacing disagreeable characters with the cat.
Artist formerly known as BenApril 5th, 2011 at 3:53 pm [Reply]
@Aviatrix (#151): Any kind of reassurance I try to give might only make things worse. Best to just let it out of your system, then have a drink or five.
JasperApril 5th, 2011 at 3:54 pm [Reply]
MW- SLUT!!!! Any normal hetero Dr. would be grinding mid-sections with nurse Sliza, but poor Dr. Drew just can’t seem to get his mind of that Men’s Workout magazine he discovered at Dr. Jeff’s place.
MT- What a disappointment that no one got punched. I would have bet the farm on it.
Its no wonder Mark had a hard time getting that plane airborn. Its roomier than a 747 inside. Not sure why the two goons are lying on the ground in panel 1 with a gun floating mysteriously between them, and why are they directly beneath the right wing when the plane is several hundred feet in the air when they were just feet away from the plane when it took off.
April 5th, 2011 at 3:55 pm [Reply]
9CL: Hmm, well, Seth wins points by insulting Edda, McEldowney loses points by using overly pretentious language. Total score: 0.
MT: Remind me what decade this strip is set in, again?
S-M: Are we just ignoring the fact Morbius had more normal skin and brown hair a few weeks ago?
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 5th, 2011 at 3:56 pm [Reply]
@Jasper (#164): They probably took a short cut from the beginning of the runway to the end.
Scott BotApril 5th, 2011 at 3:57 pm [Reply]
@Jim North (#100): Excellent advice, but I would add this to your letter to the Walker-Browne Amalgamated group: Please hire someone to help write the military strip Beetle Bailey that has actually been to a military base sometime in the past fifty years (and no, watching reruns of MASH doesn’t count).
Not Just Any DipstickApril 5th, 2011 at 3:58 pm [Reply]
@Black Drazon (#145): I somehow missed the lovely puke paint. I like the ceiling the same color too. And that two-handed grip. Looks like one girl one guy one cup o’ ???
to me.
April 5th, 2011 at 3:59 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#147): Me too. At least it’s back :)
@Katy (#157): I think I already knew that, but I didn’t really need a reminder…
Not Just Any DipstickApril 5th, 2011 at 4:04 pm [Reply]
Family Circus: Did Billy always have double jointed shoulders, or did his right shoulder migrate to the left, but keep the left hand? Is there an artist anywhere near any of these ‘comics’ (Except for the hands in DT)?
Jim NorthApril 5th, 2011 at 4:07 pm [Reply]
@Calico (#156): Damn you, BillingsLEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!
@Walker of Dog (#160): Damn you, BatIUUUUUUUUUUK!!!
@Aaaaaaaaaviatrix (#162): McEldowney might be rubbing off on you a little, I’m afraid . . . “disagreeable” is just a big word for “all the” in this case.
@Scott Bot (#167): At this point, I’d accept anyone who reads Reader Digest’s “Humor in Uniform” on a regular basis.
Rocky StoneaxeApril 5th, 2011 at 4:10 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#95):
I’m Glory Alcala, your assistant coach. From now on you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and the last word out of your filthy sewers will be “Ma’am”. Do you maggots understand that?
Spoken like a true Alcala! And speaking of people named Alcala:
http://komiklopedia.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/alcala23.jpg
Baka GaijinApril 5th, 2011 at 4:15 pm [Reply]
@Doctor Handsome (#152): Are you sure? It definitely sounds like something Goofus would say.
@Jim North (#149): Good. I can call in the harlequin-hating hounds. No clown munching on my data cables. This time…
Scott BotApril 5th, 2011 at 4:18 pm [Reply]
@Jim North (#171): At this point, I’d accept anyone who reads Reader Digest’s “Humor in Uniform” on a regular basis.
Wow, I qualify on three counts: I was in the Air Force from 1981-85, I read Humor in Uniform whenever I’m at the eye doctor (the large print version, of course) and I can’t draw well. Too bad I hate golf, otherwise I could be the perfect Beetle Bailey cartoonist.
MayzshonApril 5th, 2011 at 4:19 pm [Reply]
Sf- I keep seeing people comment on the “Alice is Ted” thing, but has anybody remembered that Ces himself pointed it out first:
http://mediumlarge.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/ted-20a.jpg
My apolgies if someone has already linked to this and I just missed it on my scroll through the comments.
commodorejohnApril 5th, 2011 at 4:22 pm [Reply]
@Mayzshon (#175): Yeah, I remember that one. It bears repeating, though, because I’m increasingly unsure at how much of Medium Large’s Sally Forth outtakes are starting to bleed through into the actual strip.
Baka GaijinApril 5th, 2011 at 4:25 pm [Reply]
@Mayzshon (#175): That cannot be Ted Forth. Absolutely not. No way. Look at her wrists. They’re not delicate enough to be Ted’s.
TheDivaApril 5th, 2011 at 4:27 pm [Reply]
@Nekrotzar (#53) et al: Good points, but I maintain that the default form for a vampire is human (former human, humanoid, whatever), ergo the phrase “human vampire” is redundant.
@commodorejohn (#103): re: Luann: Given the way Evans presents “G’day mate, damn I’m so Australian” Quill, do we really want see what sort of words he’d put in a Hispanic character’s mouth? I imagine the result would come out sounding like some bizarre combination of the Chiquita Banana, Charo, and Phil Collins singing “Illegal Alien.”
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 5th, 2011 at 4:33 pm [Reply]
@TheDiva (#178): Do you know my entire life I’ve assumed that Phil Collins was playing the role of a Martian in that song. It never once occurred to me that he was mimicking a Latino.
Fester MorgensternApril 5th, 2011 at 4:35 pm [Reply]
“Pouch” looks like the old DT villain Pruneface.
ArchieNemesisApril 5th, 2011 at 4:41 pm [Reply]
“Love Is …” is actually thinly-disguised pornography. Check out today’s strip.
Kim lovingly gazes at Roberto’s engorged member, while he takes in Kim’s bold display
of her nipples (which Roberto does not have, by the way). Not even a nearby crowd
dulls their arousal.
Roberto and Kim are a lustful, hedonstic couple, gleefully receptive to a parade
of round-the-clock sexual advances, and ever-naked to facilitate immediate couplings.
The artist sneaks it past the comic censors by drawing the two characters like
naked molerats, thus rendering them visually acceptable for a family newspaper.
I have a newfound respect for the strip. It keeps that horny 1970’s spirit alive.
April 5th, 2011 at 4:42 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#131) said:
That professorial corgi would look much more bb,u-ish with a glasses chain around his little neck!
Ah, yes. We long suspected you were a woman of style.
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#131) said:
…a visit with the gracious wossname and the delightful True Fable
Mind your participles, Mr. Fable!
Sparkle PlentyApril 5th, 2011 at 4:43 pm [Reply]
MT: Oooh, soooo happy that Mark is airborne. I hope he spends some quiet time with Andy and Doc and Rusty and Cherry now.
bats :[April 5th, 2011 at 4:52 pm [Reply]
@Black Drazon (#145): Absinthe.
@teenchy (#150): “My villain has no nose.”
“How does he smell?”
@Katy (#157): is that how the Keanes ended up with four kids?
@Aaaaaaaaaviatrix (#162): I thought I’d pretty much done that with the four-panel photo set of bouncing kittens (thanks for those pix, queek!). It *does* work, though — you’re right! I might mess around using Solange, though…I tend to stash most of those strips.
Joe BlevinsApril 5th, 2011 at 5:00 pm [Reply]
Zomby tussles with his one gazillionth snotty waiter.
ArchieNemesisApril 5th, 2011 at 5:02 pm [Reply]
@ArchieNemesis (#181): I also find the Love Is … from April 1st to be shocking.
Écureuil ÉcumantApril 5th, 2011 at 5:04 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#103) on JP:
News flash: some of us guys like smart girls. Some of us don’t feel threatened by them
In fact, Wilson you philistine, some of us accept no fuckin’ substitute.
Esther BlodgettApril 5th, 2011 at 5:16 pm [Reply]
@Katy (#157): Ah, “from whence”: the calling card of the hack writer. The literary equivalent of “ATM machine” and “PIN number.” The…I’m going to have a lie-down.
Écureuil ÉcumantApril 5th, 2011 at 5:18 pm [Reply]
@Cloudbuster (#119) on Luann:
You know, back when I was in school, the idea of the school sticking their nose into anything I did on my own time would have been ridiculous, but nowadays, when schools think they have the right to police students’ Facebook and Twitter activities, as well as their hobbies, diet and political activities, it wouldn’t surprise me a bit.
Yep. The private day school I went to in the 60s had a Student Code that covered anything we did 24/7 and kids got bounced for infractions. That went over real big with us during those years. But we showed them, you betcha. We went off to college, did bushels of drugs, and then started research corporations and got rich by inventing piss tests. Yay for us.
thecrockApril 5th, 2011 at 5:27 pm [Reply]
I supposed “The Pouch” is more newspaper friendly than “Betty White’s Vagina”
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 5th, 2011 at 5:42 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#184): Yes! This is one of those occasions where “it’s been done” is a very happy realization. Now all we need to do is hack the site.
MayzshonApril 5th, 2011 at 5:43 pm [Reply]
@Esther Blodgett (#188): Eh, I’m willing to give evans a pass on this, as I’m pretty sure he means it to be funny. For whatever likes or dislikes I have about Luann, I will say Evans doesn’t strike me as pretentious enough to say something like that seriously.
Stroker AceApril 5th, 2011 at 5:55 pm [Reply]
A3G/MW – From now on ‘future’ is comic code for ‘vag’.
wossnameApril 5th, 2011 at 5:59 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#140): If we see any goats in pencil skirts, I promise you pictures will be taken.
[Old Man] MuffarooApril 5th, 2011 at 6:05 pm [Reply]
@Esther Blodgett (#188): Ah, “from whence”: the calling card of the hack writer.
Yeah, but what about the smooth tones of Jim Runyon (narrator on “Chickenman”) saying, “From whence will help come for this giant metropolis… that’s not so big in the first place he should be such a good fighter anyway… to tell the truth!”?
April 5th, 2011 at 6:12 pm [Reply]
@wossname (#194): I’ll be looking forward to it. :-D
commodorejohnApril 5th, 2011 at 6:23 pm [Reply]
@TheDiva (#178): Eugh, yeah. I retract my complaint; that’d make Baldo look nuanced.
@Écureuil Écumant (#187): Fuckin’ A!
bitterlawstudentApril 5th, 2011 at 6:29 pm [Reply]
I think everyone’s bizarre behavior in the land of Mary Worth has something to do with constant nausea. Because that’s what I’d have if I lived in a world where the color palate consisted of peach, puce, and spearmint.
SoccerheadApril 5th, 2011 at 6:44 pm [Reply]
MT: Do Mark, Lonnie and Ava know which direction they’re supposed to be flying in to get to the US?
Will he have to land it, or is this a voice-activated aircraft, to which he’ll just have to say, “Come on plane, LAND,LAND LAND”?
Marvin: Do comics creators think apps are inherently funny, kind of like Twitter?
April 5th, 2011 at 6:45 pm [Reply]
Dick Tracy: Okay, when reading “Pouch”’s dialouge, did anyone else hear it in the voice of Johnny the shoeshine guy who would give Leslie Nielsen….and everyone else…the word on the street? Because I sure as hell did.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsjybfVJBCM
April 5th, 2011 at 6:51 pm [Reply]
Archie: YOU’RE stressed…..I just saw a hot asian girl with cat ears, bubble gum AND a schoolgirl outfit walk past you two, and YOU’RE stressed??
Jamus The BartenderApril 5th, 2011 at 6:55 pm [Reply]
Doonesbury: I know I kinda stopped listening to a lot of pop music around 2000 when Alan Jackson was behooving us to “defend her still today” while he was thinking about his next concert tour, but….someone fill me in, is this performing for dictators thing really a major social problem?
Écureuil ÉcumantApril 5th, 2011 at 7:08 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#172): “And speaking of people named Alcala:”
That is one awesome cover. I wonder if it’s really a comic about a carabao fighting a wild bull while his paramour anxiously awaits the outcome? (It does stipulate “Carabao” and “Fight” elsewhere on the cover.) But it looks like the dice are loaded … Chatu’s about to settle things as young Mang Tomas watches astonished.
No doubt the story continues inside with color illustrations of how to turn carabao into carabao adobo: 1) Sever head and hooves…
Something that could be brought to you only in a comic bearing the Seal of Excellence of CRAP Publications, Inc.!
The landscape, particularly the flora … just gorgeous. Me want.
ElkMeadowApril 5th, 2011 at 7:12 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#131):
followed by a visit with the gracious wossname and the delightful True Fable (guess which part of the trip will be the most fun)! Yay!
Jealous!
kkarenbApril 5th, 2011 at 7:15 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#105):
I refused to buy that fabric softener – ever – because I was so offended by those commercials.
Body parts in today’s comics:
Snuffy Smith – Since when does Jughaid have teeth?
Dick Tracy – The neck/pouch is hideous enough, but that NOSE! Or lack of same.
9CL – A stunnigly beautiful woman who still has NO chin.
kkarenbApril 5th, 2011 at 7:17 pm [Reply]
@kkarenb (#205):
Whoops. Make that “stunningly” beautiful.
April 5th, 2011 at 7:18 pm [Reply]
MW – “I don’t know about the future! Right now I’m playing it by ear! And enjoying every minute! I’ve misplaced my stethoscope again! My Man Girdle prevents me from leaning over! If you were giving me a Jimmy Ha Ha, how would you position your fingers?!”
LiamApril 5th, 2011 at 7:18 pm [Reply]
@Jamus The Bartender (#202):
Is this a real thing and who is performing for dictators?
MrBribarysShrunkenHeadsApril 5th, 2011 at 7:22 pm [Reply]
Horrible Death, 1970s Dick Tracy Style! Pouch seems like a nice guy, but he threw a blasting cap in his “pal” Johny Scorn’s popcorn popper, and was depicted on fire for several days. This was in retaliation for Scorn having stiffed him on a couple hundred dollars. Ironic, as he just missed getting caught in a dynamite stash explosion that blew up Molene and The Revolutionary Woman (bodies not depicted).
Dick Tracy claimed “without a leader, Pouch lives on in stupid simpleness” and he was never traced to Scorn’s immolation. Gould never explained why Molene blew herself up; I wonder if he intended to bring Molene and Pouch back.
ElkMeadowApril 5th, 2011 at 7:23 pm [Reply]
@Katy (#157):
I read the part which Evans said, Anyway, making the clothes in LUANN more authentic has been an ongoing goal of mine for 25 years.
This is beyond snarkage. I mean, look at the story line, the teeny tiny population at the school and in the strip, the….my head hurts.
ElkMeadowApril 5th, 2011 at 7:29 pm [Reply]
I was getting the wood stove going, and rediscovered the “Jeff and e-reader” story-line in the dead tree strips.
Did Mary break up with Jeff because he likes the Kindle, and is now going with Wilbur because he is against the internet? Usually having a silhouetted-couple toasting each other is a way of showing that they are united.
Setec AstrologyApril 5th, 2011 at 7:33 pm [Reply]
I was particularly taken by the fact that “Pouch” is apparently an avid entertainment news junkie–witness the copy of Variety…
AlisonApril 5th, 2011 at 7:50 pm [Reply]
Holy shit, No Fear! I forgot all about that brand. Now I’m trying to remember all the shirts they sold and coming up with stuff like “Second place is the first loser” and “Whoever dies with the most toys…still dies”. Ow, the nostalgia is hitting me hard!
I feel sorry for Tiffany in today’s “LuAnn”. Who gives a shit if Tiffany is in charge of this stupid contest which has a grand total of six contestants. That teacher needs to find something better to do than worry herself with this bomb of a pageant.
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 5th, 2011 at 7:51 pm [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#211): Better tell Giella and Moy that they needed more exposition in the wrap up.
Esther BlodgettApril 5th, 2011 at 8:04 pm [Reply]
@kkarenb (#206): If somebody called me stunnigly beautiful, I’d say, “Close enough!” :)
Black DrazonApril 5th, 2011 at 8:04 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#103): As a consumer of in-progress media, I try to avoid criticizing a storyline until it’s finished (which means I’m not officially allowed to talk about Homestuck until all storylines end simultaneously on October 25th 2020). For that reason, I’m willing to give even Judge Parker the benefit of the doubt, and that this Derek fellow might yet become friends with or attracted to Sophie because of her intelligence. Abbey won’t stop being smug about it, of course. She won’t stop being smug about it until she’s talked to Derek, bribed his family, disposed of the lye and is definitively the Right one in the family again.
@bats :[ (#184): The antidote to Mary Worth.
Chyron HRApril 5th, 2011 at 8:09 pm [Reply]
Doones – Does Trudeau have in his stable of characters a satirical rapper that Jimmy can team up with to BLOW DA ROOF off this scandal?
(The 70s 80s – Music has moved on, my taste in music has not.)
Jamus The BartenderApril 5th, 2011 at 8:34 pm [Reply]
@Katy (#157): I hear ya….the adventures of Evans scoping out high school girls….just for research purposes, of course. Dear God, make it stop.
commodorejohnApril 5th, 2011 at 8:40 pm [Reply]
@MrBribarysShrunkenHeads (#209): “Molene?” What, like the heavy equipment company?
@Black Drazon (#216): Yeah, let’s cross our fingers. I enjoy Judge Parker too much to wish it ill without more solid evidence, I just hope I’m wrong about this.
AnonymousApril 5th, 2011 at 8:41 pm [Reply]
@Alison (#213): Fun fact: as of February of this year No Fear Inc. has filed for bankruptcy. There’s probably a clever pun on one of their ‘losing’ slogan in there somewhere, but I’m too lazy at the moments to come up with one at the moment…
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 5th, 2011 at 9:00 pm [Reply]
@Anonymous (#220): Ryan North has a Failure t-shirt that may fill the gap. “Failure is just success rounded down.”
little meApril 5th, 2011 at 9:13 pm [Reply]
@Jamus The Bartender (#202): Yeah, a real thing.
Beyonce, Mariah Carey, Nelly Furtado, Usher, 50cent (cant find the cent symbol) got busted for performing for the Quaddafi family on some carribbean island. After getting called on it, only Furtado (so far) sent the $ on to some charity. There was another one in one of the asian something-stans, but I cant remember the particulars (how’s that for citing references?).
little meApril 5th, 2011 at 9:19 pm [Reply]
Uncle Lumpy Once upon a time (well lots of times) you have posted a link to a site that has all the html references for how to get all sorts of symbols and annotations. My old laptop got burgled in December and so I’ve lost the link. It seems like it was 3H school-something or other. There’s a puddle jumper full o’ dope headed your way if you would post it again. Thanks!
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