Mark Trail, 4/4/11
Remember a few years ago when Mark’s friend Dan faked his own death by drowning and Mark, thinking he was witnessing a tragedy, begged his friend to “COME ON, DAN. COME TO THE SURFACE!” I’m reminded of that in today’s strip, as Mark orders this plane into the air. Never mind the fact that this particular drug-running aircraft has taken off from exactly this runaway dozens of times; Mark seems to feel that only he can coax it airborne. I was going to say that Mark apparently believes that he can lift things or people with his mind, but then I realized that Mark, who speaks aloud every thought he’s ever had, doesn’t really understand the distinction between an inner self and an outer world well enough to really grasp the concept of a “mind” in the first place. I actually think that Mark believes he can lift things or people by shouting at them.
Spider-Man, 4/4/11
“Well, gee, I thought I was fighting him just moments ago, but if he and the woman who loves him say that I wasn’t, I must be wrong! I mean, what motivation do they have to lie about it?”
Beetle Bailey, 4/4/11
Sarge needs Beetle active and productive, and if that means getting him back on the meth, then so be it.
Apartment 3-G, 4/4/11
She wasn’t quite subtle enough this morning, but one of these days, Margo’s going to trick Tommie into coming out.
Panel from Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/4/11
Rex Morgan is still very focused on its increasingly uninteresting lottery drama, but that doesn’t mean it can’t liven things up with a mustachioed man cramming an entire hamburger down his throat in one gulp.
This entry was posted on Monday, April 4, 2011 at 09:07 am and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Beetle Bailey, Mark Trail, Rex Morgan, M.D., Spider-Man. | 249 responses to “” [Old Man] MuffarooApril 4th, 2011 at 9:10 am [Reply]
Luann – “I need an away team to beam down to the planet’s surface. Crystal, Delta, Bernice, Luann, you’re with me. Rosa, you come too, and wear a red shirt.”
Marmaduke – “We should have named him ‘Bil,’ considering how ‘Keane’ he is on the same thing, over and over and over.”
Rocky StoneaxeApril 4th, 2011 at 9:12 am [Reply]
@tory burch sandals (#y35):
Night time use, meal celebrations, as well as other destinations can easily almost all become achieved using a individual couple of tory burch sandals pumps shoes or boots.
It may be spam, but I still want a pair of TB (Tuberculosis?) shoes in Cancer Black — exactly like those worn by Les Moore!
AnonymousApril 4th, 2011 at 9:12 am [Reply]
RMMD – “Maybe this moustache will make Dawn love me again.”
Chyron HRApril 4th, 2011 at 9:12 am [Reply]
#3 Anon wuz secretly me.
anonymousApril 4th, 2011 at 9:13 am [Reply]
9 Chickweed Lane: Edda – STOP IT! Just STOP IT! WTF??? Pack up your leotards and go move in with the loathesome Amos, right now. I thought you and Seth were friends, and now you have the hots for him – just STOP. I’m very very disappointed she is going down that tired well-worn path.
Little GuyApril 4th, 2011 at 9:17 am [Reply]
MT: 3rd Panel needs a bats:[ mashup.
A3G: So does the 3rd panel here, with a Miley Cyrus punchline (look it up on Wikipedia).
[Old Man] MuffarooApril 4th, 2011 at 9:23 am [Reply]
Grimm – This is where salmon squares come from: you cut your potato-ade with grape Flavor Aid. Serves 900, once.
Shoe – Sorry, Perfesser. Your joke was sort of funny, but apparently it wasn’t bleak-horrified-eyes-oh-jesus-my-life-is-over funny.
teenchyApril 4th, 2011 at 9:30 am [Reply]
@Chyron HR (#4): Aargh, you beat me to it! I was only going to suggest he was a Weston relative, not Wilbur himself.
S. StoutApril 4th, 2011 at 9:32 am [Reply]
Luann: Only six entries? The “problem” is that the school would LOSE money after paying utilities and having the janitor work overtime. What’s worse is that none of these girls are actually friends with Tiffany.
DoodApril 4th, 2011 at 9:33 am [Reply]
Nobody can demonstrate the the many wonderful benefits of the 1955 Kelvinator refrigerator like Margo. “It’s so luxurious that you’ll want to handle it with white gloves!”
AustriaApril 4th, 2011 at 9:34 am [Reply]
Arch: Ten points for not calling it by the (incorrect) name of “Suduko,” but seriously? You’re like four or five years late.
Blondie: I had to stifle my laughter. Well-played.
Luann: “I CAN’T PUT MY ARMS DOWN!!!”
PBS: I like. I’m pretty sure my Closet O’ People I Never Want To See Again is bursting at the seams.
RMMD: Friend of Wilbur’s?
Zits: NOBODY IS THIS STUPID! TEENAGERS ARE NOT THIS STUPID! HAVING NEW TECHNOLOGY DOES NOT MEAN WE FORGET HOW TO TURN PAGES! GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEADS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH *passes out*
DoodApril 4th, 2011 at 9:34 am [Reply]
Hamburger guy should definitely ask the waitress about pie.
Chip WhittleApril 4th, 2011 at 9:35 am [Reply]
Blondie: I am sincerely pleased by the image of Dagwood in a Prince Valiant ‘do. I can’t wait for him to learn an instrument and join in the Mercian Invasion of the early 960s.
Brewster Rockit: This is going to be another of those highly quotable weeks for the strip. But if “cows turned into ninja assassins” is wrong, who wants to be right?
Curtis: Ah, the cranky old grandpa secretly left behind a bucket of cash. It’s like a Very Special Yet Stupid letter to Dear Abby.
Mandrake: Why is Mark Trail gunning down Mandrake’s prisoner convoy?
The Phantom has to be thinking, “Hey, my plan worked! Man, where would I be now if I had a plan?”
Dennis JimenezApril 4th, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]
RMMD – Is this going to be some sort of food abuse – Big Macs made me fat suit Rex? I thought a great teabag consumer like you would have a great sense of personal responsibility than to promote frivolous litigation like that!
S-M – Umm – I’m speechless….
MT – Drat that Elrod ball, damaging my prop – we’ll never clear the short runway now….
BB – Disturbing palor in panel one….
A3G – Yeah Margo, no the Destiny that dances at the Palamio in Las Vegas….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
TheDivaApril 4th, 2011 at 9:47 am [Reply]
MT: “And you, Lonnie, keep breathing! That’s it!”
SM: For someone as lazy as Spider-Man is, he sure is good at rejecting the most obvious solution.
9CL: I suppose given the convoluted, verbose syntax these characters use to express themselves, the relatively simple phrase “You’re a stunningly beautiful woman” would sound strange to their ears.
BRSG: So THAT’S where the secret cow level came from!
FW: “In fact, my bullying served as an outlet for my repressed homosexual attraction to him…” [*]
reFOOB: This probably came before Calvin and Hobbes, but Calvin and Hobbes did it better.
MW: Much like the Lost Boys in Hook, the hospital staff eats only imaginary food.
Pluggers cross out the “redneck” in Jeff Foxworthy jokes and put “Plugger” in its place.
Esther BlodgettApril 4th, 2011 at 9:48 am [Reply]
MT: I wish there were some way to Auto-Tune the comics. Panel 3 would sound soooo kewl.
RMMD: I was so distracted by Man Eating Hamburger (in his breakout role) that I almost missed Tony’s laughable assertion that it won’t cost Dex anything to meet with an attorney. Unless Man Eating Hamburger is the attorney in question and gets paid in quarter-pounders. In which case he’s seen here depositing Monday’s receipts.
Blondie: I guess this makes Blondie Aleta. I can’t wait to see her magicks!
HibbletonApril 4th, 2011 at 9:49 am [Reply]
A3G: Margo laughs as she imagines Tommie’s destiny: a hungover Dan Diller, after a night of inebriated wild monkey sex with aunt Iris, vomiting on Tommie over breakfast.
Terry in MarylandApril 4th, 2011 at 9:50 am [Reply]
MW: “Yes, as a matter of fact, I DO wish I was back in Vietnam. I only returned to Santa Rosa to refresh my collection of Men’s Fitness magazines.”
Phantom: Shoot, don’t shoot, I don’t care. Just DO something.
MT: Meanwhile, all the armed thugs on the ground, including those rushing toward the burning building next to the runway, for some reason don’t think to shoot at the darn plane.
Rocky StoneaxeApril 4th, 2011 at 9:50 am [Reply]
4-4-11 Weird Sound Effects:
Mutts — KA BOOM
Zits — TAP! TAP! TAP!
Buckles — MUNCH x 5
Dick Tracy — ZAP! ZAP!
Hi & Lois — TWEET… HONK!
Prickly City — BAM BAM BAM
Boffo — SPLASH SPLASH SPLASH
B.C. — SHAKE SHAKE SHAKA-SHAKE
Drabble — SKATTLE x 7… CRUNCH CRUNCH
Piranha Club — SKWAAALLL SKRAAPPPE SKREEEE SKKKKKK
April 4th, 2011 at 9:54 am [Reply]
@Esther Blodgett (#16) on Man Eating Hamburger:
Gee, I dunno. Looking at how he noms that stuff, I don’t think I’d wanna be in the same county when he deposits his receipts. Marvin’d be a piker compared to that.
Zork The MightyApril 4th, 2011 at 9:54 am [Reply]
First the perky (albeit Machiavellian) college intern is quietly written out of Judge Parker, and now no more sultry, pie-loving waitress? Must all of my immature adolescent crushes be so cruelly nipped in the bud? You’re killin’ me here, legacy strips!
ChipApril 4th, 2011 at 9:56 am [Reply]
Is it too much to ask for the comics to have a little consistency? Crankshaft lives in an apartment over the garage. How the HELL can he hear the refrigerator running INSIDE the house?
Just get on with the revelation that Mindy is a lesbian!
Écureuil ÉcumantApril 4th, 2011 at 9:57 am [Reply]
MT: She won’t clear the trees, Mark, there’s only one thing that’ll save you! Rip that butterfly bandage off and jettison it!
Zork The MightyApril 4th, 2011 at 9:59 am [Reply]
Curtis: I was suspecting the cookie jar contained the spectral hell-creature “Grampy” himself, and was the only protection from him wreaking havoc on the Earth like a malevolent djinn. But hey, screw that, money! Let’s buy a houseboat!
Doctor HandsomeApril 4th, 2011 at 10:00 am [Reply]
These guys seem to be putting a lot more effort into duping Dexter than is actually necessary. I bet if you just walked up to him and said, “Hey, Dex! You should sign over all your money to me!” you’d stand a pretty good chance of it working.
ChipApril 4th, 2011 at 10:00 am [Reply]
I’ve never been captive on an island of drug smugglers before, but I think I might rather stay there, then try to escape in a plane in which the pilot yells “COME ON PLANE, LIFT UP! UP! UP!” Is he even touching the controls?
word-doctorApril 4th, 2011 at 10:01 am [Reply]
@S. Stout (#9):
That’s not fair. Crystal and Tiffany have a COMPLICATED friendship. It’s just that Crystal’s eyes are so beady it’s hard to tell when she’s rolling them.
DtM-How is it possible that a five year old boy has an ass wider than his mom’s?
Lockwhorns-I’m SO sick of complaints about drug prices. Either pay up, rub some dirt on it, or embrace death.
TheDivaApril 4th, 2011 at 10:04 am [Reply]
@Chip (#22): My guess was Cranky’s apartment was outfitted with a kitchenette. It stands to reason his family would take every step to ensure he spent as little time in their house as possible.
SoapWatcherApril 4th, 2011 at 10:07 am [Reply]
@Dood (#10):
Or maybe Margo is performing the white glove test on all the appliances. I think “Destiny” may turn out to be the name of a bargain cleaning spray.
April 4th, 2011 at 10:07 am [Reply]
Phantom: “When you got to shoot, don’t talk, shoot.” –Eli Wallach in the Good the Bad & the Ugly.
RMMD: Is that Hamburger man’s goatee or his black, cavernous maw?
Scott BotApril 4th, 2011 at 10:11 am [Reply]
MT – ‘Come on, plane, lift up! Up! Up! Aw, c’mon plane, lift up!’
***whacks plane with large club***
‘When I says lift up, I means lift up!!!
***mutters to self***
‘Airplanes is so stupid.’
April 4th, 2011 at 10:15 am [Reply]
@teenchy (#8): I was going to suggest he would make a perfect soul mate for Wilbur.
I guess great minds think alike? (noming down on meat surrounded by bread = Wilbur) … but not exactly (Wilbur in disguise vs. Wilbur’s relation vs. Wilbur’s soul mate).
SwordsmithApril 4th, 2011 at 10:15 am [Reply]
A3G: The comic misunderstanding about Tommie’s lesbian date works when spoken out loud, and in the “all caps” font used in the strip. All those years of refusing to use lower case pays off now, because a date with destiny couldn’t have been confused with a date with Destiny.
Frazz: I’m not willing to conduct this experiment, but is there any chance spoiled tuna sandwich smells similar to roofing tar?
MW: Yes, the UN wanted to give us unlimited funds, but we insisted, we’d rebuild the clinic on limited funds or not at all. Otherwise, where’s the challenge?
OBH: I haven’t been reading this very long, is some telepervert having a child serve as proxy in the classic “what are you wearing” creepy phone call?
TAS: Because Occam’s razor says a double is more believable than a fiance lying to protect her mate? Perhaps Spidey, in his secret identity as daytime talk show monitor, knows more than I do about the burgeoning popularity of Michael Jackson Look-a-like surgery.
pugfugglyApril 4th, 2011 at 10:17 am [Reply]
MT With Mark’s direct orders to the plane, they are sure to finally escape this dreaded island and return to the blessed United States. If only Mark knew what awaited him upon his return. In his brief absence, Cherry will have decided he has died, grieved, and moved on to marry one of those FBI officers she met from his original disappearance. Mirroring the events of Castaway, he will return to her heartbroken, unable to bring himself to ask her to leave her new husband for his own selfish desire to have his former life back. In their final meeting, they’ll have a passionate embrace on her porch in the falling rain, their first moment of real tenderness in years. Unfortunately, we’ll all miss it because of the enormous Northern Chipmunk in the foreground…
SM DON’T MISS NEXT WEEK’S EXCITING EPISODE OF THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN, WHEN DOCTOR OCTOPUS CONVINCES SPIDEY THAT HE WAS ACTUALLY AT HOME WATCHING RERUNS OF EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND INSTEAD OF ROBBING THAT BANK!!!!
A3G Yeah, there’s nothing too subtle about Margo’s lewd hand gesture in panel 2
RMMD In the cross-over hit of the summer, Rex Morgan brings you MW’S WILBUR THE SANDWICH SLAYER! Burgers beware, there is no strip in which you are safe now….
Mordock999April 4th, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]
Somewhere, within the VAST Luanniverse…..,
Quill – “Hi Gunther! I’ve been Looking all over for You!”
Gunther – “Oh, its You, Quill….,”
Quill – “Right-o! Luann tells me that You’re making a KNOCK-OUT gown for Her in the Beauty Pagent and…, SAY! Is THIS it??”
Gunther – “HEY, HANDS OFF! Its NOT Finished yet! Yes, THIS gown will make Her the TALK of the Pagent!”
Quill – “GREAT! Thats kinda what I want to talk to you about!”
Gunther – “What?”
Quill – “You see, I’m Helping Luann with the TALENT part of the contest!”
Gunther – “WHAT?!?”
Quill – “Luann and I will sing a series of well-known Love Songs….,”
Gunther – (SHUDDER)
Quill – “…., and we’ll end EACH song with a VERY PASSIONATE Kiss!”
Gunther – (TREMBLE)
Quill – “So I need YOU to make ME a costume. One that accents my Dashing Good Looks and Stunning Physique and….., Hey, WAIT a Minute! WHAT are You gonna DO with that Sliver Hamme……,”
CHORUS -
“Klang-Klang, Gunther’s Silver Hammer came DOWN on his Heaaaaaaad!”
“Klang-Klang, Gunther’s Silver Hammer made SURE that Quill was Deaaaaaad!”
—From track “Silver Hammerman”. Just one of the many songs from the Long Lost Beatle album ‘Hot as Sun’. Now Available on i-Tunes!
_____________
DEATH to TJ!!!
April 4th, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]
Ha! That’s an actual aircraft.
Chip WhittleApril 4th, 2011 at 10:19 am [Reply]
Betty: Oh, yeah, you can see how his teeth are so scary what with them being…white and regularly sized and spaced and…normal.
Farcus is hoping for some of that easy Ziggy money. Clearly they never stopped to wonder where Ziggy would keep his money, if he had any money, or they’d be horrified.
Jump Start: Hey, the spoilsport no-fun Mom character changed her mind when trying a fun activity! Isn’t that against the Comics Code? Quick, get Lois over from Hi And here so we stop all that happiness spreading.
Kit ‘N’ Carlyle wants to be in a big respected strip like Marmaduke, and if that’s not an almost Batiukian sentiment I never heard one.
Sgt. SaundersApril 4th, 2011 at 10:22 am [Reply]
Master of Disguise, Wilbur, has escaped Santa Mary Worth only to turn up in RMMD – unfortunately his habit of inhaling hamburgers has revealed his true identity.
pugfugglyApril 4th, 2011 at 10:23 am [Reply]
MW: “ It sounds like you wish you were back in Vietnam ”
I don’t know why, but after reading this trip I imagined a third panel in this strip with a tight shot of Drew’s pale face with a 50-foot stare, while adagio for strings playing…
Rocky StoneaxeApril 4th, 2011 at 10:25 am [Reply]
@TheDiva (#28):
Well, they can’t be raiding Crankshaft’s larder — the only food he keeps in his old man digs are prunes, graham crackers, apple sauce and tapioca pudding!
wossnameApril 4th, 2011 at 10:26 am [Reply]
@Uncle Lumpy (#36): I see the airworthiness rating of N2171 is “experimental.” That must be because of the experimental hands-free, voice-activated pilot-control interface.
But What Do I Know?April 4th, 2011 at 10:30 am [Reply]
FC — Thel sighs. If only the little melon-head girl knew how often she’d wanted to have her tubes tied. . .
MT — Mark obviously believes the plane controls are voice-activated. . . Maybe Lonnie MomJeans should make with the Spanish. . .
The Ghost With An Immunity to Iocane Powder — But he must know that I am not a great fool. . .
Jim NorthApril 4th, 2011 at 10:38 am [Reply]
A3G: Man, when are we gonna have a Margo-centric storyline again? I mean sure, I could make fun of the fact that Margo is completely blase about the idea that Tommie is a lesbian, but forget Tommie (easily done) and look at what Margo is doing! While Iris and Tommie and whoever else has been off having their little “adventures”, Margo has been working on yet another new occupation . . . safecracking! And she’s got the balls to just bring her work home with her, too! We love you, Margo! Never change!
Crank: “AH HA! Surprise threesome!”
GT: “You played shortstop at Elon University, too? Boy, high school is a bit of a step back then, isn’t it?”
Luann: I vote for Crystal. Can the pageant be over now?
Not Just Any DipstickApril 4th, 2011 at 10:46 am [Reply]
MT: There are flaps on the wings MARK, oh MARK. Airplanes with flaps are designed to use them on TAKE-OFF MARK. WHY am I SHOUTing? Besides, how would our hero even know which way to go. I suppose he thinks he can just follow all those roads…… Oh wait, no roads on the ocean? Really? Ooooops.
A3G: Margo wears white gloves at home? And that fridge is over 50 years old, or it would not have rounded corners. Not to mention the very odd dull gray color.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoApril 4th, 2011 at 10:47 am [Reply]
CdS: beeeeeyoop! *ping* (how else do you think old people know that there are kids in their yard?)
rMC: introducing, MAUREEN!!!!! (down, Jamus!)
IP: heeee!
JS: d’awwww. I’m not much for ‘family’ strips, but Jump Start is better than most. Much like A&J, the love shows through.
LiO: O_O [*]
9CL: oh, Seth, you silly boy. The answer to that question should always be “yes”.
A3G: I wonder how many “casting couch” jokes are in the four yesterthreads that I haven’t read yet?
Bizarro: o dear. I am amused, yet facepalmified.
Blondie: goes comic-meta, in a good way. *applaz*
HotC: kill it with fire!!!!
JP: panel 1 art fail.
JUMBLE: o, what a missed opportunity!!! put a goatee on the announcer, and we’d have been all “Marty Moon!” about it.
PBS: the return of Binkley’s Anxiety Closet.
Pluggers: so, if you like carryout Chinese, you’re a Plugger?!?
4 threads worth of snarpologies.
Red GreenbackApril 4th, 2011 at 10:47 am [Reply]
COME ON FONT, BOLD! BOLD! BOLD!
TomApril 4th, 2011 at 10:50 am [Reply]
SM: Anyone know why Morbius is wearing a Spidey outfit? Maybe he’s posing as Spiderman’s double somewhere? Or is that just the colorist having fun? Thanks for enlightening me…
LiamApril 4th, 2011 at 10:52 am [Reply]
MT-With a shed full of drugs burning Mark should be flying higher than the plane.
DoodApril 4th, 2011 at 10:54 am [Reply]
Mark needs Otto, the autopilot, not Otto, the suave handlebar-’stached drug smuggler.
TomApril 4th, 2011 at 10:54 am [Reply]
@anonymous (#5): Yeah, me too. Edda’s got some serious self-esteem issues, if she needs lust and adulation from every man she meets, apparently including her (mostly gay) former professional dance partner and current roommate, when she’s got Amos slobbering all over her at the slightest provocation.
I’m sorry, I’m thinking of packing ALL the women in that strip off to a few sex-addicts-anonymous meetings…
Not Just Any DipstickApril 4th, 2011 at 10:55 am [Reply]
MT: Hmmm, I wonder how one could lift in some other direction than UP? Is English really that difficult for people that finished 3rd grade. Apparently so.
Jim NorthApril 4th, 2011 at 10:55 am [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#45): 9CL: oh, Seth, you silly boy. The answer to that question should always be “yes”.
But then she’d try and sex him up! And Seth don’t want to be touched by no filthy girl!
Fern obviously doesn’t count ’cause she only touches him with her art, which they carefully sanitize beforehand so he won’t catch her cooties.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoApril 4th, 2011 at 11:02 am [Reply]
@Red Greenback (#46): HAR!!!! love it.
CarloApril 4th, 2011 at 11:06 am [Reply]
Why does Rex Morgan make me think of the Hamburger Man?
FafMorApril 4th, 2011 at 11:07 am [Reply]
9CL – I’d feel sorry for Amos, except he and Seth have been getting it for years now; Edna’s just been too self-absorbed to notice that she’s been left out of the three-way.
The RidgerApril 4th, 2011 at 11:09 am [Reply]
@anonymous (#5): She doesn’t have the hots for him – she just can’t tolerate him sleeping with another women. All the men she knows must worship her and only her. If he did want her, she’d only torment him and giggle over it with Amos… Oh. Wait. Don’t she and Amos do it around Seth all the time? Perhaps Edda DOES want Seth, and Amos is just a cover…
The RidgerApril 4th, 2011 at 11:10 am [Reply]
@Swordsmith (#33): “We’re on a blind date with Destiny, and it looks like she ordered the lobster!”
Chip WhittleApril 4th, 2011 at 11:10 am [Reply]
Compu-Toon: Another day, another baffling strip.
Fort Knox: It’s a rare strip that tries to emphasize how much one child is favored over the other, besides Dustin.
Heathcliff: It’s like a Monty Python sketch about wrangling the savage green pepper into line.
Shoe: See, it’s news that the reliably drunk politician is drunk, whereas the initial tease suggesting he was making a major change in his life wouldn’t be news. By the way, how has Shoe’s newspaper not died yet?
Yenny’s lizard hopes for her death in a modelling accident. I totally understand the moral balance of this strip.
This GuyApril 4th, 2011 at 11:12 am [Reply]
Bizarro: Dammit, Piraro… the name of our species is Homo sapiens. It’s two words (binomial nomenclature, after all) and the ’s’ is always on the end of “sapiens.” It’s a Latin adjective meaning “wise.” The whole name can be used as a singular or plural, without removing the ’s’ or adding anything.
HotC: At least Heart seems to have better taste in music, assuming she’s intentionally referencing Queen.
Artist formerly known as BenApril 4th, 2011 at 11:20 am [Reply]
BB: Okay, so the Army wants Beetle to do coke. Great, but where is he supposed to get it? Killer isn’t even dating that part-time mule anymore.
A3G: Tommie isn’t quite ready to out herself yet. If she spends the night with Dan Diller, that might be enough to do the trick. (BTW, what does Margo think is growing on the fridge that she won’t even open it without gloves?)
OBH: Yes, that is an… alarmng question.
FC: Billy sez, “You’ve got your hands full? You’re not even the one choking PJ. Zing!”
SFx: No bonnet. No apron. Jeez, get with the anthropomorphic program, Mama Stork.
Popeye: Olive alone will view their approach to Goon Island, and be driven mad by the sight. No one will notice.
Momma: From what they tell us, Francis walks around with one 24/7. Oh, you said “election.”
FW: “You could say we had a Beetle-Sarge love that dare not speak its name thing going on.”
GA: Skinner is having a stroke. A very unfunny stroke.
Luann: My vote goes to Delta. After she put all that effort into dressing like Fat Albert’s pal Rudy Davis, a sash is the least you can do for her.
JP: Oh my stars and garters! Is Abbey going to tell Sophie that you shouldn’t be smarter than boys if you want them to like you? That’s what I love about Woody Wilson. You never know when that big foot-shaped gap in his mouth is gonna get filled.
The WazApril 4th, 2011 at 11:21 am [Reply]
@S. Stout (#9): Actually, the school refused to host it. They are having the contest elsewhere. Weenie World, I think.
new_squid_in_townApril 4th, 2011 at 11:22 am [Reply]
A3G: So Margo has some kind of medical condition/phobia that requires her to wear latex gloves at all times. Or is there some more sinister reason, and there’s some guy tied up in her room awaiting the insertion of a nicely chilled dill pickle?
MT: The plane’s too heavy since it’s normally only used to carry 1/8oz of marijuana and a couple of codeine tablets, and Lonnie has brought along 30 pairs of mom jeans in her suitcase.
MW: This seemingly dull storyline, together with the unfinished nature of those that went before, suggests we’re building up to a big hospital shocker sequence, like an ER-finale, where the entire population of Charterstone is brought in with severe tuna casserole poisoning. Only Dr Drew and Nurse Liza can save them, and Drew is having ‘Nam flashbacks! Now read on….
RMMMMMMMD: Although Wilbur is spared this, off freelancing as Kiteman, ready to leap into any situation to bring calming outdoor mediation with the aid of his trusty kite. Once he’s had his burger and pie, of course.
RobApril 4th, 2011 at 11:28 am [Reply]
MW- “So then we rebuilt a clinic using limited funds in an impovrished nation and saved countless lives, but tell me what you’ve been working on here while I’ve been gone.”
“Just the usual, treating bridesmaids with alcohol poisoning and the never ending stream of twitter addicts filling up the ER.”
Walker of DogApril 4th, 2011 at 11:28 am [Reply]
@teenchy (#Y39): I misread that and thought you were asking about a Westview “cancer duster”. Why yes, it flies over the whole town three times a week. Why do you ask?
@Comcis Fan (#Y72): No! That’s a dirty lie! Everyone knows that Keith and Laurie wrote all the Partridge Family songs.
CalicoApril 4th, 2011 at 11:29 am [Reply]
Could Rex Morgan actually be a cat? Here’s the latest snarky blog goodness from Ces:
http://mediumlarge.wordpress.com/2011/03/29/why-cats-are-not-doctors/
April 4th, 2011 at 11:32 am [Reply]
The girls’ fourth roommate, Milk, tries to horn in on the conversation, but she’s ignored even more than Tommie is, and slinks away.
CalicoApril 4th, 2011 at 11:34 am [Reply]
“Lift up! Lift up”
Mark has mistaken the airplane for a horse at Lost Forest he’s trying to break.
April 4th, 2011 at 11:34 am [Reply]
Really, Mark Trail is still wearing that band aid, how long is he going to milk this whole getting shot in the head thing.
Jim NorthApril 4th, 2011 at 11:35 am [Reply]
@The Ridger (#56): Ah, you must have missed or forgotten the part where both Edda and her mom Julie were lusting after Seth after Edda learned that he dabbled in heterosexuality in his younger years. She was extremely obnoxious about it, having very vocal fantasies about him while he was actually in the room. Not as a joke or just to annoy him or anything . . . this was done in all seriousness. And this was all before Fern ever entered the scene. She was already wanting to jump Seth’s bones, Fern’s involvement merely upped the ante.
Not that I’m dismissing the fact that it’s a competitive, self-absorbed thing too. It is, of course, very much so. Because how could even the gayest of gay guys not possibly want a piece of that action, right? Her entire identity as a sexual creature is being threatened by the fact that homosexual men do not want her, and I feel nothing but sorrow and the greatest of sympathies for her! PS, I AM BEING SARCASTIC ABOUT THIS LAST PART.
I wonder if she ever feels bad that straight women don’t want her either. And maybe it’s just the brute male man in me speaking here, but I think I actually wouldn’t mind if McEldowney had a storyline in which Edda was pursued by a crazy lesbian who’s become obsessed with her. Either it would result in lady-on-lady hand sex (which I would call a win) or it would result in Edda becoming horrifically uncomfortable with this unwanted attention (which I would also call a win).
No, I don’t want to consider any other possibilities. Leave me this one fantasy, please! It’s all I have!
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoApril 4th, 2011 at 11:36 am [Reply]
signs of spring.
Zen-boopable.
the QG says trey kewt! even though there are only two puppehs in the pic.
memetic mutation.
Lil’ Red.
Stance of Sleeping! (my fuzzies used to do this all the time.)
Fennecsqui!!!!!!
clean laundry, now with extra corgsqui.
bats :[April 4th, 2011 at 11:36 am [Reply]
My god, that fellow in Panel 1 of RMMD — he is the true PYTHON! Eat your heart out, Chatu!
Walker of DogApril 4th, 2011 at 11:38 am [Reply]
MT: The plane takes off as Lonnie quietly operates the co-pilot controls while eyeing Mark nervously and thinking Man, did I back the wrong horse.
Meanwhile Mark, gesturing wildly, is willing the plane to fly, just like he learned from watching Mickey Mouse in The Sorcerer’s Appretice.
S-M: Hey, kids! This area is called the perineum!
MW: A passing doctor stumbles into a table when his vision is obscured by Drew’s dialogue bubble. “Dammit, Drew, lower your voice!”
GT: Garth!
Artist formerly known as BenApril 4th, 2011 at 11:44 am [Reply]
@bats :[ (#71): Aw, Chatu’s got enough problems now. He’s wimping out on shooting Ghost-With-Undeserved-Luck, and he’ll probably get booted from the Evil Psychopath’s Guild.
Mysterious Shirtless LawyerApril 4th, 2011 at 11:52 am [Reply]
” I actually think that Mark believes he can lift things or people by shouting at them.”
Mark is so going to punch you out for saying that. And I am going to laugh!
CalicoApril 4th, 2011 at 11:52 am [Reply]
@Jim North (#69):
Yeah, a “Desert Hearts” scene could make 9CL somewhat palatable for me, at least for “An indefinite period of time.” (RIP Jane Rule)
April 4th, 2011 at 11:54 am [Reply]
@TheDiva (#15):
SM: For someone as lazy as Spider-Man is, he sure is good at rejecting the most obvious solution.
You see, if he accepted the most obvious solution, then Peter would have to do something by way of solving the probem, whereas by rejecting the most obvious solution, he can still dither around in hopes that Morbius and Anti-Morbius will eventully fight each other to the sleep. Problem solved—and without missing single episode of Judge Joe Brown.
@pugfuggly (#34):
DON’T MISS NEXT WEEK’S EXCITING EPISODE OF THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN, WHEN DOCTOR OCTOPUS CONVINCES SPIDEY THAT HE WAS ACTUALLY AT HOME WATCHING RERUNS OF EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND INSTEAD OF ROBBING THAT BANK!!!!
Peter actually has a shot of seeing through that ruse since he’s sure to notice that Doc Ock’s story doesn’t add up. “…the bank was robbed at 7 PM on Monday, but WNYW only shows Raymond at that time on Saturdays, and don’t tell me you were watching it on TBS, buster…”
CalicoApril 4th, 2011 at 11:54 am [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#70):
“Trey Kewt” – are the puppehs Phish Phans? : )
If so, I’ll bet they enjoy the songs “Ocelot” and “Run like an Antelope.”
April 4th, 2011 at 12:04 pm [Reply]
@ArchieNemesis (#Y56): “Mark Trail has become the most evil man in the comics, so gradually that we didn’t even notice.” Let me correct that for you: “…so gradually that we didn’t even care.”
Walker of DogApril 4th, 2011 at 12:04 pm [Reply]
A3G: Margo: “So you’re off to get rejected – great, great. But before you go, since I’m already gloved up, climb up onto the kitchen table and get into those stirrups. Or did you forget it’s the first Monday of the month?”
DDT: I can honestly say that today’s Dick Tracy is the most disgusting-looking strip I’ve ever seen. Except for every Rusty sighting in Mark Trail.
FC: Thel burrows face first into the laundry hamper in a desperate suicide attempt and thinks to herself, “Yeah, because having another daughter would be so awesome.”
FW: During the autopsy, Mr. Stropp’s prostate was examined and found to have only one arm. Scientists are baffled.
– And Summer, rehab is for chumps. Embrace your pain!
LiamApril 4th, 2011 at 12:05 pm [Reply]
MT-Mark is so high he thinks he is in a plane when he is actually running around in a circle with his arms stretched out making airplane noises.
MibbitmakerApril 4th, 2011 at 12:09 pm [Reply]
FW –
Sunday: “…In the seventies and eighties, he was in a much better comic strip!” A strip whose last vestiges of old funny are being killed off in such a manner that Batty’s self-caricaturing.
Today: Gee, Bull-on-Les threats weren’t so disturbing when they were originally written/drawn in the aforementioned ’70s-’80s. All told, way to bring down the good ol’ days, Tommie-boy!
Baka GaijinApril 4th, 2011 at 12:09 pm [Reply]
Apartment 3-G: Margo’s hag hands are skeeving me out. Crone hands? Cryptkeeper hands? Whatever, they’re ghastly.
Little GuyApril 4th, 2011 at 12:11 pm [Reply]
Luann: And Greg Evans closes the loophole in the “How can we have a High School Beauty Pageant and ensure that Tiffany can.not.win.?” plot.
Edgy DCApril 4th, 2011 at 12:12 pm [Reply]
Margo’s delusions of her lifestyle have long been out of control, but somebody please tell her that people who wear white gloves don’t wear them to handle industrial refrigerators, or to match up with yellow sweatshirts. And they don’t bunk up with people they hate. (Although I suppose that’s everybody, in her case.)
Baka GaijinApril 4th, 2011 at 12:16 pm [Reply]
Dilbert: Ugh, Alice is jacking off the boss’ hair penis. IN PUBLIC!
One Big Happy: Speaking of jacking off, everyone’s heaving a sigh of relief that Earl is interested in a woman instead of a sucking machine. Or just heaving. It’s a weird situation all around.
Government CheeseApril 4th, 2011 at 12:17 pm [Reply]
Rex Morgan: Doesn’t that guy eating a hamburger look like Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force?
teenchyApril 4th, 2011 at 12:17 pm [Reply]
@DAS (#32): Perhaps so.
@Walker of Dog (#64): Pfft. ;-) I was thinking along the lines of Toms River, NJ, some natives of which have struck me as slightly mutated if not outright carcinogenic.
BTW, this far into the day and no reference to FC as Family Circlejerk? Or is that one of the alternate titles of 9CL?
LiamApril 4th, 2011 at 12:20 pm [Reply]
@teenchy (#87):
I was thinking of a similar thing when I saw Family Circus.
April 4th, 2011 at 12:22 pm [Reply]
@Government Cheese (#86): Yes! I didn’t recognize him whout the wifebeater and profuse body hair.
commodorejohnApril 4th, 2011 at 12:23 pm [Reply]
A3G – I think Margo suspects that Tommie is a lesbian because this is the kind of seething passion something she displays in an allegedly romantic heterosexual relationship. It’s an understandable conclusion to draw. Also, why am I not surprised that Margo’s refrigerator looks like a bomb-proof safe?
A&J – Hey, look at that! A comics mother who isn’t a shrieking, controlling bitch!
Blondie – I laughed. Now if only Blondie would put in a guest appearance over at PV…
C&B – I love this strip.
Crankshaft – Dammit, worst “discovering two college girls doing something surreptitiously in the dead of night” storyline ever.
Curtis – What.
FW – So is this supposed to make us not like Bull? Because the only thing I find disappointing about it is that he didn’t actually maul Les.
GT – Please welcome special guest star The Fourth Shagg.
HOTC – Oh God no.
JP – A-yup, Sophie’s filling out a bit there. And by “a bit” I mean “Jesus, that was quick.” Chyron HR was right on the goddamn nose.
MT – I like to think that Mark encourages many other things to perform their intended function. “COME ON, SHOVEL! RELOCATE THAT DIRT!”
MW – “Well, hell yeah I wish I was back in Vietnam! Thousands of miles from Mary Worth, and do you know how cheap you can get hookers there? Hot diggity!”
Phantom – GET ON WITH IT ALREADY
SM – Morbius’s fiancee has pretty much exactly the expression I’d expect anyone dealing with Spidey to wear.
Esther BlodgettApril 4th, 2011 at 12:25 pm [Reply]
@Liam (#80): Brings the funny!!
LenoxusApril 4th, 2011 at 12:27 pm [Reply]
@TheDiva (#15):
reFOOB: This probably came before Calvin and Hobbes, but Calvin and Hobbes did it better.
Yep. If anyone’s curious, it’s this one.
bats :[April 4th, 2011 at 12:28 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#2): oh, come on, Rocky, it’s spring! I want my sandals in kicky, springy Phlegm Green!
@Little Guy (#6): maybe so, but this is just so damnably dull, I don’t have any heart to do it. :/
Now, Mark Trail, on the other hand (as so many Curminions have pointed out!)…
KatyApril 4th, 2011 at 12:30 pm [Reply]
MT: Panel 3 art FTW. I love his crossed eyes and upsettedly-lengthened upper lip.
ScienceGiantApril 4th, 2011 at 12:31 pm [Reply]
Beetle: They do it every time! Dozens of characters we could use to deliever the set up line for a joke about using electric lights. Hello, East Asian officer! What’s that you say about a crippled nuclear reactor?
MibbitmakerApril 4th, 2011 at 12:32 pm [Reply]
@Government Cheese (#86): Carl eating fast food to finally get even with his neighbors: a milkshake, a meatball, and fries — all of which he’d already devoured. Good for you, Carl!
MaryAnnTheRestApril 4th, 2011 at 12:35 pm [Reply]
Well, it is my name, so I had to get to this sometime:
Now sit right back and you’ll hear a tale
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this fishing port
From a Kelly Welly slip
Mark Trail was a mighty sailing man
Unconscious, but still sure
When his rowboat floated out to sea
For a three hour tour
Or possibly four
The weather started getting rough
The tiny boat was tossed
Cherry cried while smugglers lied
Shot? No, he’s just lost.
The boat set ground on the shore of this uncharted dealers isle
With bales of stuff!
And Otto too!
Mom Jeans!
And her nameless kid!
A bunch of thugs!
And the rest!
Here on Mark Trail’s Drug Island!
April 4th, 2011 at 12:44 pm [Reply]
GA: It’s enough to make one long for the subtle humor and inate decency and grace of Todd Packer!
HotC: Hey! Hey!
GT: Hey, unfair’s unfair, Parker!
Meanwhile, old teammates were so memorable, huh?
JP: It’s why she has so MANY friends among her classmates.
[Old Man] MuffarooApril 4th, 2011 at 12:45 pm [Reply]
@DAS (#32):
Wilbur in disguise
That’s what you are
Mayonnaise pies
And the menu bar
Ebook on your lap
And a sandwich for an app,
Wilbur in disguise
(With white bread!)
Mark – We all make fun of Mark, but what if it works? What if in his universe, that’s what it takes to… hang on.
C’mon, strip! Get good! Good! Good!
bluepencilApril 4th, 2011 at 12:45 pm [Reply]
MW: Now that All My Children appears to be headed for cancellation, will Erica Kane, Tad Martin, Adam Chandler et al. be joining Liza Colby in Santa Royale? They’d certainly liven up the Charterstone pool parties!
MibbitmakerApril 4th, 2011 at 12:53 pm [Reply]
RMMD: James Doohan sure is desperately hungry, huh?
R=R: Hey, featherbrain, stay out of 9 Chickweed Lane!
Other Coast(ing): And what do they make anvils from?
Curtis: No wonder he hated her!
Jeff Soesbe (yeff)April 4th, 2011 at 12:56 pm [Reply]
“One day, Margo’s going to trick Tommie into coming out.”
I’d pay to watch that trick. Yes, I would.
- yeff
ElkMeadowApril 4th, 2011 at 1:03 pm [Reply]
@CanuckDownSouth (#yy11):
Did you read that Berna won the lottery?
MibbitmakerApril 4th, 2011 at 1:10 pm [Reply]
DT: Well, it’s crazy, but at least it’s Gould crazy!
9CL: Cutting down the endless Burber Ego of Edda, showing no mercy — now THAT’S the Seth we like!
****************************************************************************
~~Ad (not really)~~
Archie Comics — Way overreacting to goofy shit since the 1940s.
April 4th, 2011 at 1:11 pm [Reply]
A3G: Why is Margo up early and wearing surgical gloves?
Margo- “It’s Saturday Tommie what are you doing up so early? (I was planning on drugging you and harvesting your organs. Damn there goes my vacation money!)”
April 4th, 2011 at 1:18 pm [Reply]
@Walker of Dog (#72) on S-M:
Hey, kids! This area is called the perineum!
No, taint.
Esther BlodgettApril 4th, 2011 at 1:19 pm [Reply]
Curtis: Wouldn’t someone have opened the damn vase when they first got it? Oh, well, at least it’s money. I was pretty sure it was going to be Grampy’s ashes and Gunk would find a way to reconstitute the body.
Écureuil ÉcumantApril 4th, 2011 at 1:24 pm [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#76) on S-M:
Problem solved—and without missing a single episode of Judge Joe Brown.
Hey! You think Peter Parker knows from promoting manhood and protecting womanhood? And he lives in Gotham! He watches that other New York fraud.
Now you’ve provoked me into some Judge Joe freestylin’.
Judge Judy, yo, she’s so booty-licious
But way too arbitrary and capricious
For playin’ a judge she gets 100 mill
Now that kinda scrilla be pretty chill
But the part of her act I just ain’ catch
Is why she got to be such a stone cold bee-yatch!
Cuz brotha-man, it ain’ all about that bling
So Judy, yo! Judge! Jes DO THA RIGHT THING.
April 4th, 2011 at 1:30 pm [Reply]
Crank: Dang. I was hoping he would catch he two of them in a full-on lip-lock. THAT would at least be interesting!!
Funk the Bean: So, does this mean that Bautik is going to launch a new anti-bullying story arc?
RMMD: I didn’t know Scotty from Star Trek ate hamburgers in one gulp!
Mary Worth(less): ……..drivel drivel drivel…
Luann: Yeah! Go Miss Phelps! Shut it down!!
Comcis FanApril 4th, 2011 at 1:40 pm [Reply]
Sex, cancer and sandwiches — that’s what the comics are all about now.
“It was always about the sandwiches,” Bumstead says.
Government CheeseApril 4th, 2011 at 1:45 pm [Reply]
@Mibbitmaker (#96): He’s getting revenge on Shake for providing such a terrible lawncare service.
terrapinApril 4th, 2011 at 1:47 pm [Reply]
MT: Mark’s hand isn’t even on the throttle. He’s willing the plane up using his own variation on the ‘think system’.
JP: “God didn’t give you blonde hair to be smarter than boys honey!”
BB: Why Sarge? Why was it worth a try?
Zits: Wow. Whoever writes this must really hate his kids.
Artist formerly known as BenApril 4th, 2011 at 1:50 pm [Reply]
@Mibbitmaker (#101):
Curtis: No wonder he hated her!
Wait til she finds out it’s all Italian lire.
In other news, you’re a Plugger if you think that Mickey D’s updates the pictures on their menu on a daily basis.
The Spectacular Spider-BrickApril 4th, 2011 at 1:54 pm [Reply]
A3G: I was about to ask “Why is Margo wearing latex gloves?”, but then I realized it’s probably because she doesn’t want to leave prints on the murder weapon. Not that she’s planning a particular murder right now, but if you’re Margo, it’s a good idea to be ready for anything.
EC: Didn’t Sally Forth go through this same plotline a couple weeks ago?
FW: Ha, ha, ha! Bullying! Ohhh, good times, good times.
thorps. “You went to Elon University? What are you doing playing for Milford High?”
JP: “I couldn’t let him beat me! He hasn’t collared me yet!” Is it wrong that my mind went there?
Luann: “And the contestants are: camel toe, camel toe, black pants, camel toe, and skirt.”
MT: But, Mark! If you all hold your breath, that makes the plane heavier and it’ll never take off! You need to shout it out!
MW: “Liza Colby”? Seriously? Where are Erica Kane and Adam Chandler?
OBH: Buggy Crispino, obscene-phone-caller-in-training.
SFx: Animals talk, wear clothes, drive cars, and hold down construction jobs in the Slylockiverse. So why is this stork laying her eggs in a nest perched on a girder, instead of in a bassinet in her three-bedroom rambler? Is there a hierarchy of evolution among the animals, and we’re seeing one of the unfortunate bottom-rung dwellers here? Or is this the Slylock equivalent of a homeless person? The economy can’t be all that bad with all this construction going on, so I can only assume Mama Stork is a shiftless welfare sponge.
Zits: Jeremy was even more annoyed when he ripped a hole in his Hustler centerfold trying to zoom.
Government CheeseApril 4th, 2011 at 1:54 pm [Reply]
@teenchy (#89): Carl is treating himself to an evening of “fine dining” – hence, the sweater that matches his sweatpants.
Baka GaijinApril 4th, 2011 at 1:57 pm [Reply]
@The Spectacular Spider-Brick (#114) on Zits: Ha ha! Good one.
Black DrazonApril 4th, 2011 at 2:01 pm [Reply]
Hm, I see everyone’s gotten into the ship of guessing if sandwich man is related to Wilbur but personally I’m off the mind that–WHOA, HOLY CRAP, Dex is still alive? I’m pretty sure he was at least in his thirties when this storyline bega… wait. Hold on. I forgot I was reading Rex Morgan again, and that I’m the only one that ages immeasurably when I do that. Sorry folks, false alarm.
In other news, Sarge wants Beetle to fill out his résumé, so that he doesn’t have to deal with him any more! Too bad Beetle’s only skills are directly related to pretending to be a soldier, not unlike his references.
Joe BtfsplkApril 4th, 2011 at 2:02 pm [Reply]
I admit it’s becoming more of a stretch, but I stand by my plot call of a month or so ago: “Martine,” here, is the thing Spidey was fighting mere moments ago. She too is a Morbius-type vampire, and I’m guessing they all look alike when they’ve got their vamp on. Spidey will figure it out when Morbius’ little gift to him begins to take effect, and he starts to look that way himself. Morbius doesn’t know either, since the change only happens while he’s asleep, and he’s never seen it. The still-only-partially-transformed Spidey will swing into Morbius’ apartment while Morbius is asleep, find Martine there looking like Morbius, mistake her for the actual Morbius again, and the ensuing brawl will wake Morbius up, and they’ll all have an ah-ha moment. No, of course it doesn’t make any sense at all, but that’s hardly a factor in this sort of thing.
tizzyApril 4th, 2011 at 2:09 pm [Reply]
Oh GOODY!!! MW is apparently starting a crossover with All My Children. I can’t wait to see Mary go toe to toe with Ericka!
daleApril 4th, 2011 at 2:11 pm [Reply]
Mark Trail
Yelling at the airplane is the most realistic part of the escape story.
Unless we are to assume that Mark did all the preliminary planning steps, the depiction of which would have been much more interesting than what we have.
Crash, Airplane! Crash!
April 4th, 2011 at 2:13 pm [Reply]
SM-That expression on Morbius’ face, with the hand… after much thought, I have finally settled on a Groovy Ghoulie’s cousin.
RobApril 4th, 2011 at 2:29 pm [Reply]
I don’t follow Funky Winderbean very closely (for the same reason I don’t punch myself in the nuts often). So I assumed that it was the current coach who is helping with Summer’s rehab who died. I didn’t even think twice when I saw him back in the strip today just assuming its another cancer victim reaching back through the veil to interact with the living characters.
That actually would be pretty great, Les could be dancing around with his wife and summer could be crying about how hard rehab is while eeryone looks at teh wackjobs who are talking to people who aren’t there.
LiamApril 4th, 2011 at 2:35 pm [Reply]
Curtis-The vase only has large bills on top the rest of it is filled with dollar bills.
MW-”Every night when I close my eyes, I go back to Vietnam. I still the faces of the dying. That village we destroyed. The shrieks of the women and children.”
Zits-If Jeremy can’t turn the pages of a newspaer, then how can he get dressed, feed himself, or even wipe his own ass.
JBApril 4th, 2011 at 2:44 pm [Reply]
RMMD: Oh, that’s his *mouth*! I originally saw him as a double-chinned man staring into the middle distance while smearing a hamburger against his goatee.
Baka GaijinApril 4th, 2011 at 2:46 pm [Reply]
@Liam (#123): “…how can he [Jeremy] get dressed, feed himself, or even wipe his own ass.” Mommy Dearest, of course!
gnome de blogApril 4th, 2011 at 2:52 pm [Reply]
@new_squid_in_town (#62):
MT: The plane’s too heavy since it’s normally only used to carry 1/8oz of marijuana and a couple of codeine tablets, and Lonnie has brought along 30 pairs of mom jeans in her suitcase.
Yet by the force of Mark’s bold-faced will, the overloaded plane will get off the ground. However, when Mark lands in the U.S.ofA., a phalanx of Customs men and Revenooers will, on the evidence of his stubbly face, throw the book at him. Lonnie will cop a plea deal to save her own ass. Cherry and Kelly will deny knowing him and, having found true love at last, return to Lost Forest and live happily ever after.
Bill Ellis, Mark’s editor at Woods and Wildlife magazine, will hire Andy to take his place.
Dennis JimenezApril 4th, 2011 at 2:58 pm [Reply]
@MaryAnnTheRest (#97): So, this hit was performed by a) the Wellingtons; b) the Eligibles; c) the Mosquitos; or d) the Honey Bees?
All entries must be post marked on later than 4/1/2011.
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle PatrolApril 4th, 2011 at 3:03 pm [Reply]
Apparently, Elon University softball sucks as bad as Milford High… http://elonphoenix.com/index.aspx?path=softball
Gold-Digging NannyApril 4th, 2011 at 3:06 pm [Reply]
Whatever’s going on in Spider-Man, it seems pretty obvious that Martine is behind it. They were setting us up for it through Spider-Man’s initial shock that Morbius was marrying her, and now of course she’s the one covering up whatever’s going on, the devilish minx! “Women!” Spidey will say. “I knew I should have trusted my instincts about Morbius marrying one! It’s a dang good thing I’m not married!” — This plotline brought to you by Joe Quesada.
VictoriaApril 4th, 2011 at 3:09 pm [Reply]
My gentleman friend (who doesn’t follow these things regularly, but understands the basics) said, “Good thing Mark burned down that shed! Now people won’t get all messed up on drugs and bother the raccoons. But… who will he have to punch?”
I reassured him that Mark will find another beard to punch.
TophatApril 4th, 2011 at 3:10 pm [Reply]
I like to believe Beetle is less stunned by the appearance of a large neon sign than he is about the appearance of that ungodly huge, floating electrical outlet. “Where did it come from and how do I kill it?!” he wonders to himself in a panic. Luckily the whole thing is a hallucination anyway since Sarge’s grand scheme was apparently just to amputate Beetle’s legs in a vain attempt to wake him up.
TrilobiteApril 4th, 2011 at 3:14 pm [Reply]
Someone help me out here: in A3G, is Dan Diller supposed to be the show-tunes version of Rick Rubin or something?
UncleJeffApril 4th, 2011 at 3:15 pm [Reply]
Love Is…..getting ready for that night of “soft” B&D
AmateurApril 4th, 2011 at 3:23 pm [Reply]
@Not Just Any Dipstick (#44): CHECK your FLAPS beFORE taking OFF! [/MST3K]
Rocky StoneaxeApril 4th, 2011 at 3:28 pm [Reply]
Rex Morgan — The guy doing a “Wimpy” is actor Maurice Gosfield from the 1950s Sgt. Bilko television series.
Not only is he president of the Fake Chin Hair Club for Men, he’s also a client:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3017/2480227517_694f615b02.jpg
Sgt. StonedApril 4th, 2011 at 3:31 pm [Reply]
MT: One can only picture Mark in the bedroom with Cherry trying to coax someting else “Up! UP!”.
Comcis FanApril 4th, 2011 at 3:33 pm [Reply]
I never would have figured One Big Happy for a grade-schoool remake of “The Graduate.” Zits, perhaps, in the high school category, featuring Hector and Mrs. Duncan. Re OBH, snarky though we be, there is no other way to read today’s edition. Buggy Crispino must have a thing for mom jeans, and must be singing, “Ruthie’s mom has got it goin’ on.”
cheech wizardApril 4th, 2011 at 3:54 pm [Reply]
MT – Mark’s getting frustrated, because every time he tries to make the plane go faster, it keeps lurching to the right. Someone needs to tell him that’s not a gas pedal.
RobApril 4th, 2011 at 4:10 pm [Reply]
@victoria (#130) – Umm, I do believe that there is a giant drug smoke cloud that needs some punching
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoApril 4th, 2011 at 4:12 pm [Reply]
@cheech wizard (#138): somewhere, an Aviatrix is giggling.
Not Just Any DipstickApril 4th, 2011 at 4:19 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#140): Yah, can’t wait til he steps on the left one after landing. The term ‘ ground-loop’ will be demonstrated. I really wonder if he knows what that thing is that is sticking up between his legs. Certainly never uses one at home. PULL Mark PULL!!! PULL harder, Lonnie, PULL it for him!!!!
ChowderApril 4th, 2011 at 4:21 pm [Reply]
“Oh, THAT kind of destiny! Is *that* what they’re calling it now?” I can’t elaborate on this joke without being family-unfriendly.
ArchieNemesisApril 4th, 2011 at 4:23 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#78): Each time I dismiss Mark Trail as a nut, he draws me back in.
Yesterday. I was sure he was turning evil; today, he breaks my heart a little as
he makes a pathetic cross-eyed exhortation for the plane to rise up.
You gotta feel for the guy. So I will try to help him.
As Uncle Lumpy so brilliantly discovered, there actually is a registered plane with N2171
on the tail rudder, as depicted in today’s comic. I even found a photo if it, and it turns out
that the plane Mark is taking on his hairy runway ride is, in the real world, a seaplane.
It’s meant to take off and land in the water. This might explain the lack of momentum
of Mark and his doomed crew. As Mark flexes his whiskers in frustration, you just know
that the mom and daughter are contemplating how much better off they were with Otto.
April 4th, 2011 at 4:27 pm [Reply]
@ArchieNemesis (#143): if planes could be squee, that one would be.
Alfred E. NeumanApril 4th, 2011 at 4:31 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#135) said: “Rex Morgan — The guy doing a “Wimpy” is actor Maurice Gosfield from the 1950s Sgt. Bilko television series.
Not only is he president of the Fake Chin Hair Club for Men, he’s also a client.”
Or it could be Mitch Miller, a guy with real chin hair.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoApril 4th, 2011 at 4:31 pm [Reply]
For Sequitur.
memetic mutation has gone to the dogs.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoApril 4th, 2011 at 4:40 pm [Reply]
I want to work where they have vending machines like this.
DoodApril 4th, 2011 at 4:44 pm [Reply]
I’m thinking this Pluggers-Rex Morgan, M.D. crossover has tremendous potential.
Alfred E. NeumanApril 4th, 2011 at 4:50 pm [Reply]
MT— Tomorrow’s strip today: Ava yells at Mark, “Flaps!”, and he immediately responds. When Mark gets home, he says, “I just flew in from Drug Dealer Island, and boy, are my arms tired!”
Baka GaijinApril 4th, 2011 at 4:51 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#135): And they’re made of genuine Modacrylic! Not just acrylic, MOD-acrylic. They can take a punching and still look fetching.
@ArchieNemesis (#143): I think we’ll see daughter push Mark out of the pilot flying seat, give him an Eastern Airlines “flying wings” pin and a coloring book, then fly the plane to Miami or San Jose or Springfield, your choice of state.
Alfred E. NeumanApril 4th, 2011 at 4:58 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#147): I believe you’ll find those vending machines on bourbon babe’s campus.
Esther BlodgettApril 4th, 2011 at 4:58 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#147): I’m going to go look for one of those right now…
Fashon PoliceApril 4th, 2011 at 5:12 pm [Reply]
@Trilobite (#132):
That thought had occurred to us. It’s possible, even likely, that Ms. Shulock knows who Mr. Rubin is, but we cannot in our wildest dreams imagine that Mr. Bolle does.
Mr. Rubin would likely be quite amused at his caricature attending a far-off Broadway musical in an orange suit and powder-blue shirt, collar buttoned, no necktie.
commodorejohnApril 4th, 2011 at 5:15 pm [Reply]
@Fashon Police (#153): At least it wasn’t Phil Spector that served as the inspiration…
Fashon PoliceApril 4th, 2011 at 5:26 pm [Reply]
We can imagine that Miss Phelps, who we all know seethes with repressed sexuality, is quite put out that Mr. Evans chooses to depict her with a figure that makes Miss Lesley Hornby voluptuous by comparison. It is almost enough to make one suspect that isn’t Miss Phelps at all, but perhaps Gunther in heavy makeup.
Fashon PoliceApril 4th, 2011 at 5:31 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#154):
One can imagine Mr. Spector in an orange jump suit, but he would hardly be in a position to attend the theatre.
April 4th, 2011 at 6:00 pm [Reply]
@Alfred E. Neuman (#145): Funny, I remember Sing Along with Mitch, but I don’t remember MM dressing like a Jedi Master. So… is that actually a parrot on his shoulder or has “Obi Wan Miller” pulled another one of his Jedi Mind Tricks?
EldaglassApril 4th, 2011 at 6:08 pm [Reply]
Like Margo cares about Tommie’s (or anybody else’s) destiny. She’s just trying to distract Tommie from the dismembered body in the fridge. Hopefully, Tommie, being Tommie, won’t think to ask about the white surgical gloves.
anonymousApril 4th, 2011 at 6:10 pm [Reply]
@Tom (#50): How could she POSSIBLY have low self-esteem? She’s a ballerina living in NYC with a protective hunky friend. She’s a concert pianist. She’s madly illogically in love with the loathesome Amos. She is slim, beautiful, in excellent health, she has the whole world at her fingertips. Yet all of a sudden, her good protective hunky friend dares to stray to the other side – not to her! She must have an ego the size of Australia, but does that mean low self-esteem, too? Maybe she’s narccistic? Worship me! Me me me!
wossnameApril 4th, 2011 at 6:14 pm [Reply]
@Comcis Fan (#137): The big difference (and I think we can all thank God for this) is that Ellen is not going to be interested in any hanky panky with Buggy Crispino.
Joe BlevinsApril 4th, 2011 at 6:14 pm [Reply]
Today’s Zomby was so boring I had to gussy it up with French postcards. Still SFW, though, darn the luck.
True FableApril 4th, 2011 at 6:14 pm [Reply]
I can just see the small airplane on the runway with its desperate passengers inside. The plane is surrounded by gun-wielding desperados eager to get their revenge on the man who set their suspicious shed on fire, but at the controls, Mark Trail is still staring intensely at the control panel shouting “Come on, plane! Lift up! Lift up!”
You see, the plane never taxied down the runway. Mark just imagined it did. Poor, poor delusional Mark.
anonApril 4th, 2011 at 6:23 pm [Reply]
9CL: Methinks Amos is not quite doing the job for Edda. I would love it if Amos suddenly turned all caveman and demanded Edda leave Seth’s apartment and go live with him. Or else call it quits because she’s still got wild oats to sow, or something… I don’t think she’d do it! If Amos were all that to Edda, she’d be shacked up with him right now. Come to think of it – if they’re a couple, why AREN’T they living together?
True FableApril 4th, 2011 at 6:24 pm [Reply]
Let’s have another good ol’ fashioned Mudgeon vote-packing party and vote The Divine O’F’s lovely cat Google in as the champion Tuscon Pet Idol:
http://tucsonweekly.upickem.net/engine/Votes.aspx?PageType=VOTING&contestid=25582#SubmissionDisplay
Google is number 11 on the first page. I voted already; why don’t you, today and every day until Friday! Every day a ‘Mudgeon votes, a kitten beats the snot out of something three times it’s size! It’s true!
Rocky StoneaxeApril 4th, 2011 at 6:25 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#150):
I like the Mark Trail reference, but there’s an even better use to which this product could be put:
After donning the fake mustache, beard and sideburns she ordered from the back pages of a 1970s comic book, Margo decides to take Tommie on a real date for a change!
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle PatrolApril 4th, 2011 at 6:27 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#147): Then Japan is where you want to go — they have beer and saki vending machines…
An article that might interest you — http://www.onlinemarketingdegree.org/10-strange-but-successful-vending-machines-from-around-the-world
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoApril 4th, 2011 at 6:31 pm [Reply]
@anonymous (#159): if you look up “narcissistic” in the dictionary, the result is “see Burber family.”
True FableApril 4th, 2011 at 6:40 pm [Reply]
So help me, if Abby suggests Sophie do less than her best on the next test to let Derek ‘win’, I’m going to write one of my dreaded Truman Rants to Woody Wilson himself, and it won’t be pretty.
commodorejohnApril 4th, 2011 at 6:48 pm [Reply]
@True Fable (#162): Ooh! Now I know how I want Mark Trail to go!
[Old Man] MuffarooApril 4th, 2011 at 6:48 pm [Reply]
@Dennis Jimenez (#127): That’s a tough choice. I’m leaning toward the Wellingtons, because they were also the Mosquitoes. Then again, the Eligibles did a damn good job on Shakespeare Rock (note to self: listen to flip side “Little Fire Eyes” soon). Well, you know what? I think I’m going to write in “The Castaways,” who made the original song so generically memorable.
@cheech wizard (#138): Someone needs to tell him that’s not a gas pedal.
Dad trained to be a pilot in WW2. We’ve gotten very, very little from him about that time in his life. Basically, it’s where he learned to like beer (even warm), and he would sometimes recite the instructional verse “Stick and rudder / Stick and rudder / Don’t use one / Widdout the udder” to us.
April 4th, 2011 at 6:50 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#169): HA! Exactly!
The Divine O'FApril 4th, 2011 at 6:54 pm [Reply]
@True Fable (#164): Thank you, True Fable! Fellow Mudges, I may not be around much, but my heart is always with you. Please vote for Google. He had been leading, but now he has been overtaken by a CHIHUAHUA! I can’t bear the ignominy. Plus, Google looks like a snake and can roll over on command. check him out at the link TF posted. PLEASE.
AnonymousApril 4th, 2011 at 6:55 pm [Reply]
No Sarge, it’s not worth a try! It’s a stupid, confusing idea and a complete waste of everyone’s time, as usual. Sarge’s attempts to keep Beetle in line ultimately make him the bigger menace. This time he’s taken thousands of dollars in signage from a highway construction project, just to make a single private perform at barely-acceptable levels for one day. This sign will have no impact on Beetle, anyway. He’ll wake up, grin at it for a few minutes, take seven or eight more Benadryl and fall asleep someplace where other people are working. Beetle is always sleeping so he can avoid confronting the shame and guilt brought on by his debilitating laziness. It’s a vicious circle.
nomuseApril 4th, 2011 at 6:58 pm [Reply]
Wossname (MT): You have to shout in RUSSIAN!
ChipApril 4th, 2011 at 7:08 pm [Reply]
All the “excitement” in Mark Trail almost made me forget that Mark has been through TWO plotlines without PUNCHING ANYONE! What next? A LOVE SCENE?!
ChipApril 4th, 2011 at 7:10 pm [Reply]
Maybe the punching will start when Mark lands and is stopped by Customs in plane full of drugs!
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle PatrolApril 4th, 2011 at 7:11 pm [Reply]
@nomuse (#174): No, you have to “think” in russian — http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVNaajyWqwY&feature=related
gnome de blogApril 4th, 2011 at 7:22 pm [Reply]
@True Fable (#168):
Your point is well-taken. And I’m sure that threat of a Truman Rant alone would cause a panicky call to Woody’s editor demanding a script revision.
However, (are you listening, Woody?) the are a couple of snags in the pantyhose:
1) How do we know Derek gives a rat’s ass?
2) Derek’s 16 so he’s probably a junior. What’s he doing in Freshman Calculus?
One other thing: I’ll betcha Derek isn’t interested in Honey Ballenger’s calculus exam.
gnome de blogApril 4th, 2011 at 7:24 pm [Reply]
@Chip (#175):
1 arson = 2 punchings.
Besides, he has facial hair now. He probably can’t punch anyone until he shaves.
Alfred E. NeumanApril 4th, 2011 at 7:28 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#157) said: “@Alfred E. Neuman (#145): Funny, I remember Sing Along with Mitch, but I don’t remember MM dressing like a Jedi Master. So… is that actually a parrot on his shoulder or has ‘Obi Wan Miller’ pulled another one of his Jedi Mind Tricks?”
I’d never thought of that, but it is quite possible. Because of his early work with Charlie Parker, he was once known as “Oboe Man Miller”. Damn clever, those Jedi Masters.
SequiturApril 4th, 2011 at 7:33 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#146): Gee, thanks, queek.
I’ve been gone a few days. I went off with Lio and snuck on to the Mark Trail Island of Drug Fun! (queek, your graphic fits right in). Snickering all the way, we tied a strong cable to the tail of Mark’s plane. We then fastened the other end of the cable to a couple of tough old palm trees. That cable should be playing out any time now… ~~Snerk~~
Black DrazonApril 4th, 2011 at 7:44 pm [Reply]
@Chip (#175): Two plotlines without punching and then a love scene would be the best plot development we’ve ever seen! No longer able to restrain himself, Mark would go all-out. He could take Cherry out to a fancy restaurant and, unable to help himself any longer, would start pummelling the maitre d’ for his pencil moustache. Then on the dance floor, Mark would take out a nearby Canadian couple that the cops would later discover were smuggling seal pelts! And then at the end of the night, with the lights turned down low and Cherry entering the room in her skimpiest 50’s negligee, Mark would fall fast asleep on the couch, dreaming of gargantuan, talking muskrats.
MustangApril 4th, 2011 at 7:54 pm [Reply]
A3G: Dan Diller is SURE he’s found the next Florence Henderson.
AviatrixApril 4th, 2011 at 8:11 pm [Reply]
@Alison (Y32):
1. I’m laughing hysterically at it.
2. I’m not drunk either.
3. Given my day, drunk doesn’t sound like a bad idea, though.
April 4th, 2011 at 8:13 pm [Reply]
@The Divine O’F (#172): Vote early! Vote often (yes, you can vote once daily!)
(And if you’re reading this, Jimmy Boegle, just remember…it’s the American way!)
April 4th, 2011 at 8:14 pm [Reply]
@Not Just Any Dipstick (#44): A lot of small aircraft have a flap zero take-off configuration, because the increase in lift in the early part of the takeoff does not sufficiently offset the induced drag for the manufacturer to recommend their use. Do you see flaps? I see only full-span ailerons. Either that or the aircraft has full-span flaps and uses wing-warping for roll control.
AviatrixApril 4th, 2011 at 8:16 pm [Reply]
MT: Mark, honey, as wossname said, voice commands are generally ineffective on that model of airplane. To shorten the take off run, apply forward pressure on the yoke and raise the tail to level, thereby reducing both rolling friction and form drag.
bats :[April 4th, 2011 at 8:20 pm [Reply]
I was hoping that JP and RMMD would be more exciting, but it seems I’m having to rely on some old classics…
bourbon babe, unbuckledApril 4th, 2011 at 8:27 pm [Reply]
@Alfred E. Neuman (#151): Oh, man, I wish—certainly would have made for a much more pleasant Monday. . . .
@Aviatrix (#187): Yes, but are you taking into account the effects of boldfacing on aerodynamics?
MARK TRAILApril 4th, 2011 at 8:29 pm [Reply]
@Aviatrix (#187): WHAT IS THE YOKE? WHICH OF THESE THINGS DO I PUNCH TO MAKE IT GO?
SwordsmithApril 4th, 2011 at 8:44 pm [Reply]
@The Ridger (#57): Best. Movie. Ever. That plot would have been SO much better than the lesbian one Margo suggested.
Carl Barks FanApril 4th, 2011 at 8:47 pm [Reply]
MT: Somebody correct me if I am wrong (although this surely has been brought up already) How can he fly off to safety IF HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW WHERE THE FUCK HE IS??!! Has that nitwit told him where they are? I’ve been “reading” this story since it began and I can’t recall either Mark asking her where they are or her telling him where they are. But, off they go in to the wild blue yonder!!!
But if I am wrong— where are they?
AviatrixApril 4th, 2011 at 8:51 pm [Reply]
@MARK TRAIL (#190): The doll said it could fly the plane. Perhaps Mark should transfer control to it.
@Carl Barks Fan (#192): Perhaps he believes that once airborne he’ll be able to distinguish the coastline of the mainland. I’m hoping he runs out of fuel just before reaching it, has to ditch in shallow water offshore, and that the little girl is trapped under the plane, requiring him to run and get a jack.
Carl Barks FanApril 4th, 2011 at 8:52 pm [Reply]
MT: Forgive me, everybody, what am I doing, asking a logical question. I should be ashamed of myself.
SwordsmithApril 4th, 2011 at 9:00 pm [Reply]
@The Spectacular Spider-Brick (#114): Looking again at Luann to check your comment, I notice something odd; all the contestants (with the possible exception of Bernice) are left handed amazons. What are the odds? If this were the funkyverse I’d assume they were all mastectomy survivors, but Evans, I’m forced to assume this is a tribute to the upcoming Wonder Woman revamp… although oddly every version of Wonder Woman appears to have two breasts.
Peanut GalleryApril 4th, 2011 at 9:02 pm [Reply]
@tory burch sandals (#Y35): These sandals are Tories and John Birchers? Wow. I’m guessing you can’t get a normal pair of them, you can only buy right ones.
NosytApril 4th, 2011 at 9:02 pm [Reply]
RMMD: Hamburger or black shoe polish sandwich?
commodorejohnApril 4th, 2011 at 9:02 pm [Reply]
@Aviatrix (#193): I’m hoping he runs out of fuel just before reaching it, has to ditch in shallow water offshore, and that the little girl is trapped under the plane, requiring him to run and get a jack.
Oh man, that would be pretty great. Not as great as the first time, though, because Rusty wouldn’t be in hours of agony with Sassy hovering dumbly around his face the whole time…
April 4th, 2011 at 9:05 pm [Reply]
@Peanut Gallery (#196): *snurk*
well spotted.
SequiturApril 4th, 2011 at 9:07 pm [Reply]
Mark thinks he can fly a plane. But it’s been a while. The last time Mark flew, his plane looked like this.
This GuyApril 4th, 2011 at 9:11 pm [Reply]
@Alfred E. Neuman (#151): I don’t know if I should wait for her to come back and point this out, but I’ll say it anyway–Jack Daniel’s ain’t bourbon!
SequiturApril 4th, 2011 at 9:34 pm [Reply]
RMMD: Ehhhrrr, with the hamburger. Isn’t that Cliff Clavin?
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoApril 4th, 2011 at 9:41 pm [Reply]
@This Guy (#201): very true. JD is “Tennessee sippin’ whiskey” while bourbon, by definition, is made in Kentucky.
SequiturApril 4th, 2011 at 9:52 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#203): And it’s being made in Texas now.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoApril 4th, 2011 at 10:01 pm [Reply]
@Sequitur (#204): yeah yeah. :-(
I keep forgetting that what I learned in college about bourbon wasn’t exactly the truth. (the Kentucky requirement.)
*grumbles off for another glass of Beam*
bourbon babe, unbuckledApril 4th, 2011 at 10:02 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#203): You all are right! I’m so overworked and sleep deprived that I just saw little bottles of caramel-colored liquid and thought, “Mmmm…E4….”
Bitter ScribeApril 4th, 2011 at 10:11 pm [Reply]
RE: Rex Morgan: One of the Cleveland Cavaliers from the 1990s, I think it might have been Danny Ferry, had among his accomplishment in the team press kit that he once ate a Big Mac in one bite. That was the kind of thing Cavs fans had to console themselves with while Michael Jordan was wiping the court with their team.
SequiturApril 4th, 2011 at 10:25 pm [Reply]
To grossly paraphrase Homer Simpson…
Bourbon! The cause and the solution to mankind’s problems all in one convenient bottle.
The RidgerApril 4th, 2011 at 10:44 pm [Reply]
@Jim North (#69): Oh, gag. I had repressed that entire storyline. Now I remember it. Damn you!
Jocelyn KnockersburyApril 4th, 2011 at 10:47 pm [Reply]
@Fester Morgenstern (Yesterthread #65): You mention that we’re being mean because Batiuk has prostate cancer himself, but a quick ‘net search shows he has had prostate and thyroid cancers several years ago, and he says they were both caught early and required no further treatment. To learn about chemo and such for FW, he watched OTHER people go through the treatments.
http://www.cancer-health.info/?p=18462
Just want to put that out there. You can now return to your regularly-scheduled snark.
mdblancheApril 4th, 2011 at 10:47 pm [Reply]
A3G: I don’t necessarilly think Margo thinks Tommie is a lesbian, but rather that knowing Tommie as well as she does her assumption that Tommie didn’t mean that kind of destiny was a safe one.
RMMD: What sort of hideous mutant has escaped the Mary Worth quarantine zone? And can we kill it with fire or is it already too late?
FOOBed againApril 4th, 2011 at 10:48 pm [Reply]
@True Fable (#168):
So help me, if Abby suggests Sophie do less than her best on the next test to let Derek ‘win’, I’m going to write one of my dreaded Truman Rants to Woody Wilson himself, and it won’t be pretty.
Thank you, Mr. Fable!
AviatrixApril 4th, 2011 at 11:11 pm [Reply]
If you had the power to raise your arms and cry out,
“_______, just [optional profanity] _______ already!”
and have it happen in just one comic strip, which character would you exhort to perform which action?
Walker of DogApril 4th, 2011 at 11:18 pm [Reply]
@Aviatrix (#213): “Les Moore’s cancer, just metastasize already!”
Rocky StoneaxeApril 4th, 2011 at 11:30 pm [Reply]
Did you know that Diana Palmer — Mrs. Ghost-Who-Walks — has embarked on a new career… as a romance novelist? And one of her books is apparently about former/future Presidential hopeful John McCain:
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2ZcLMmKsq3ykIEElhXgRUznW51YoDpL7bBdf_rJHiFlZWy1_FFztoOVGLVMJ_E4zlpy3lkSQW-D0QHg-7WnK_B8kEk2qqSbu81NX2GRHCHsoKYQ0QHkhWxzFa69WOoPv3xdhIdJ5YvDhF/s1600/maverick.jpg
AviatrixApril 4th, 2011 at 11:43 pm [Reply]
@Walker of Dog (#214): I was trying it with the Phantom, “Anybody just fucking SHOOT already!” but then I realized it was a general malaise and perhaps another comic needed that push more.
Baka GaijinApril 4th, 2011 at 11:53 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#188): The background details just make this strip. The vomitorium gets a lot of use on Salmon Square night. And I always laugh at Wilbur “nom nom nomming.” Always.
@Walker of Dog (#214): Start buying the Hershey’s Miniatures. This comment will get you on the COTW float.
Rocky StoneaxeApril 5th, 2011 at 12:00 am [Reply]
@bats :[ (#188):
Thank you for reminding me that “Colby” is the nurse’s last name. “R” you sure she’s not related to this lady:
http://www.delsjourney.com/images/close-ups/us/waltons/introductions/season_1/Scene_10b_Ellen_Corby_Credit.jpg
Frank Lee MeidereApril 5th, 2011 at 12:21 am [Reply]
@Aviatrix (#213): “Pluggers, just get stuck on an escalator during a blackout and die of starvation, already!”
CanuckDownSouthApril 5th, 2011 at 12:23 am [Reply]
@gnome de blog (#178): The Brain Trust has no doubt skipped ahead of time into the advanced math classes with the ever-impressive Derek. Even juniors rarely take calculus (perhaps in a 2-year AP sequence). Intro Calc is a college freshman course, not a high school freshman course.
@Jocelyn Knockersbury (#210): I thought we weren’t knocking it off because he won’t! It’s one thing to be inspired by your life, quite another to shoot past wallowing all the way to tormenting others with it.
moe99April 5th, 2011 at 12:34 am [Reply]
Judge Parker just went into some weedy territory with the suggestion that guy don’t like getting beaten by girls in class. That is so ’60’s I would hope.
ElkMeadowApril 5th, 2011 at 12:42 am [Reply]
Oh no! Dexter’s going to be held for ransom! (I call that Pie Lady will rescue him!)
And Liza wants Drew for a one-night stand!
PoteetApril 5th, 2011 at 1:25 am [Reply]
@moe99 (#221): Yeah. I’m watching this development with narrowed eyes. Be careful, JP. Be very careful. Because if you do this wrong, some of us are going to land on you like a duck on a junebug.
PoteetApril 5th, 2011 at 1:30 am [Reply]
4/5 MW — “Oh Drew, we could have such a bright future together! We could go wandering from hospital to hospital, just randomly treating patients and having fun! You and me, doctor and nurse, have stethoscopes, will travel…and we won’t have to grow to look alike over the years, because we already do!”
PoteetApril 5th, 2011 at 1:39 am [Reply]
RMMD — Sheesh, what’s the point of cramming an entire hamburger down your throat if you are too jaded and/or depressed to enjoy it? Although for all we know, that dude is the attorney.
PoteetApril 5th, 2011 at 1:50 am [Reply]
4/5
FC — Hey, a Dead Grandpa reference! It’s been awhile.
GA — I guess I can understand a desperate effort to create a character so obnoxious that Slim looks good by comparison. But two obnoxious characters are worse than one.
PHANTOM — Didn’t we just go through this kind of routine in DICK TRACY? And it was a total bore there also.
greghousesgfApril 5th, 2011 at 1:54 am [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#147): DO WANT.
AviatrixApril 5th, 2011 at 2:10 am [Reply]
DT: Eww, ewww, EEEWWWW! I need a Baka Gaijin-type warning if anything like that last panel ever shows up again. What is that? No don’t tell me. How will I sleep now?
ZaneTarloApril 5th, 2011 at 2:51 am [Reply]
9CL: “rubber bladders that simulate the sound of acute flatulence” … This is how Brooke sees the world. He can’t say “whoopee cushion”, of course not, it needs to sound ridiculously wordy and pretentious.
Alfred E. NeumanApril 5th, 2011 at 3:21 am [Reply]
@This Guy (#201), @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#203): Oops, I got confused. That vending machine is actually on the campus of another professor I know, Tennessee sippin’ whiskey babe.
Frank Lee MeidereApril 5th, 2011 at 3:34 am [Reply]
9CL: You know, if Seth hadn’t been forced to deliver his line with such ponderousness, that would have been a funny strip.
Frank Lee MeidereApril 5th, 2011 at 3:39 am [Reply]
BC: No, no. Not “did.” The trope is “eating,” not “accomplishing.” Something more along the line of, “The dog got more from your homework than you did.” Or even, “The dog digested more of your homework than you did.”
Okay, so I got nothin’, but I still object.
Frank Lee MeidereApril 5th, 2011 at 3:41 am [Reply]
Blondie: That last panel is really nicely understated. Has Blondie been getting better recently?
Écureuil ÉcumantApril 5th, 2011 at 6:01 am [Reply]
@ZaneTarlo (#229) on 9CL: It was necessary that Downer describe this device in some detail beyond its pedestrian name of “whoopee cushion” — in particular, specifying that its effect is “acute” in order to differentiate it from the chronic authorial flatulence with which his atmospheres are perpetually redolent.
Écureuil ÉcumantApril 5th, 2011 at 6:13 am [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#233): There’s been some interesting ones lately. The first one that grabbed me was Dag’s angst-stricken visit to the barber (no, the one before the PV ‘do) where he looked into the pit of existential despair and seemed on the verge of plunging in.
Then there was the April 1 strip, so atmospheric in its depiction of the sterile wasteland of the suburban living room: Dag buried in his paper, Blondie with her chair turned away from her hubby, slinging zingers into the corner of the room, only turning to him to deliver brief and utterly false reassurances. The text in their word balloons was superfluous.
Yes, lately they’re doing a lot with a little.
Little GuyApril 5th, 2011 at 6:30 am [Reply]
MT: …but enough of Mark and Momjeans in the bedroom….
Big Nate: Place your bets! Nate will be rescued by a) Artur, b) Chester, c) his dad, or d) Mrs Godfrey.
Dilbert: Yes, this is an interesting arc. Why yes, it is.
PBS: Waiting for Epic later this week.
Sophie, Warrior Princess: No woman could beat her! No man could tame her! (or is that the other way around?)
Little GuyApril 5th, 2011 at 6:33 am [Reply]
@Aviatrix (#213): Candorville, end the whole custody/ex who may or may not be a vampire storyline.
hypochrismutreefuzzApril 5th, 2011 at 6:41 am [Reply]
If … as I have come to suspect … Dan Diller is really going to be a Phil Spector producer type … Tommie’s “future” may be short.
gleebApril 5th, 2011 at 6:54 am [Reply]
A 3-G: Well, if Tommie ends up shot dead, we’ll know that Dan Diller is supposed to be Phil Spector.
Gil: Dammit, that’s my smart-ass remark! I said it yesterday, before you!
‘bean: More lukewarm, sepia-toned sadism. Get back to the death, already!
Little GuyApril 5th, 2011 at 7:26 am [Reply]
Luann: “And you can be a contestant or you can be a judge, but you can’t be…. oh yeah, you’re Not-Tiffany. Whatever.”
True FableApril 5th, 2011 at 7:47 am [Reply]
Okay, label me as the world’s most latent slow child: I just now realized Baldo works at Auto Y Rod, Inc. – Auto Erotic.
Durrrrr….
Little GuyApril 5th, 2011 at 8:23 am [Reply]
@True Fable (#241): And you lost that title in less than an hour….
Nicely play, guys. VERY nicely played.
wossnameApril 5th, 2011 at 8:26 am [Reply]
Archie – OK, seriously, WTF is that thing in the foreground of panel 3? Is the idea that Jughead has failed so many times that he’s in elementary school? Or is that what the AJGLU thinks high school girls look like? Also, why does she have handles on her head? (Uh – don’t answer that.)
DT – EEW eeeewww eewww! I guess this is vintage Gould type stuff, but a pouch? In his neck? With SNAPS in it? Just eeww.
Dil – Ha! I know the art in Dilbert pretty much sucks, but I do like the way the stuffed critters, the taxidermist, and the pointy-haired boss all have the same eyes.
JP – As several have said, I don’t like where this seems to be going. Wilson, don’t make us hurt you.
@Alfred E. Neuman (#180): When I read this last night, I started to express my horror at the idea that a hack like Mitch Miller was ever even in the same room with the immortal Charlie Parker. Then I thought, Nah, that Alfred E. is a big kidder, he’s joking. But the question nagged me all night, and this morning I googled MM. Argh!
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoApril 5th, 2011 at 8:42 am [Reply]
Frazz: clever. me likee.
Lio: WIN!
R&R: *chuckles* [*] [**]
Archie: Cammieneko.
MG&Groan.
AD & OBH share a joke today.
SF: I’m assuming that Ces did not set out to conjure the mental image of the “spanking power up” .gif, so I’m going to just back away slowly. . . .
Zits: y’know, that’s sort of funny.
CanuckDownSouthApril 5th, 2011 at 8:52 am [Reply]
The Phantom-Chatu standoff has now gone on so long that they’re having flashbacks to this very moment, for the convenience of the readers who have been unable to keep up with the riveting 10-day storyline of ‘are you going to shoot?’ — ‘you *can* die’ — ‘make up your mind’ — ‘no, you make up your mind’ — ‘neener neener neener’
Read em and LafApril 5th, 2011 at 10:59 am [Reply]
MT Yes, the mind control over the airplane is over the top. Aviation electronics are more sophisticated these days, but yelling at it doesn’t trigger the automatic pilot. Besides, after offloading the shed-full of drugs, it should be lighter and easier to lift off.
Mark, you did check the fuel level, right? And you have a vague idea which way to go to reach the mainland? East towards Africa(?) or West towards Cuba??? How’s that concussion and dehydration doing?
JP I hate this. Sophie morphed from doing PhD caliber work with professors around the globe (until her paid flunky realized there was more money selling performance enhancing drugs to jocks and teaching them how not to be caught) to a “I’m a hick from the sticks” mentality. Now Abbey will tell her to flunk calculus and stick to cheerleading, as that’s the only thing this guy notices.
After all, that’s good, right? Give up your dreams and ability to help the world in exchange for a date with a cute self-centered poster boy who won’t age gracefully.
Sophie, what part about, “I am independently wealthy. My sister lives in Paris with a fashion designer that my adopted father put on a path to wealth and fame, and my adopted parents travel the world and run a horse stable, makes you think you are a hick? If you don’t want to muck out the stalls in the morning, hire someone else to do it!!!
Abbey’s message: “Girls just wanna be dumb!”
MrNullDeviceApril 5th, 2011 at 1:36 pm [Reply]
@Trilobite (#132):
My first thought was that it was some sort of Rubin-homage. Makes me wonder if we’re going to see a plot in which Tommie fulfills her dream of recording a cutting-edge hip-hop/rock fusion album.
April 5th, 2011 at 5:21 pm [Reply]
@Aviatrix (#186):
It’s a comic strip, not to be considered an acurate representationof avionics. Get it? IT’S ONLY A STUPID COMIC STRIP!
April 5th, 2011 at 5:28 pm [Reply]
No, but this time it could be fiddler crabs hovering around them while Mark goes off looking for a car jack to lift the plane with.
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