Hey all, it’s time for your top comment!
On who takes the FW flashback pictures: “I dunno, the yearbook committee? ‘Quick, beatdown of Les at 4 today, grab the camera. We can put the photos in a scrapbooky collage thing between the freshman and sophomore pages. I have some blank speech bubble stickers to put on them. Write something about Les pissing himself.’ At least that’s how I would’ve run Westview High’s yearbook committee.” –MaryAnnTheRest
And your very funny runners up!
“Maybe this mustache will make Dawn love me again.” –Chyron HR
“Hamburger guy should definitely ask the waitress about pie.” –Dood
“For someone as lazy as Spider-Man is, he sure is good at rejecting the most obvious solution.” –TheDiva
“Margo laughs as she imagines Tommie’s destiny: a hungover Dan Diller, after a night of inebriated wild monkey sex with aunt Iris, vomiting on Tommie over breakfast.” –Hibbleton
“COME ON FONT, BOLD! BOLD! BOLD!” –Red Greenback
“Really, Mark Trail is still wearing that band aid, how long is he going to milk this whole getting shot in the head thing.” –Rob
“Remember, if you’re not going, ‘wait, what?’ you’re not reading the real Dick Tracy.” –Chip Whittle
“Friday’s strip ends in Liza’s apartment, which is revealed to be a floor-to-ceiling shrine to Dr. Drew Cory. In the last panel, Liza, in her wedding dress, points her gun at Drew and says, ‘For you and me .. the moment is NOW.’” –frippy
“Ever the cheapskate, Dr. Drew is now taking to winning women’s hearts with romantic lunches sitting on the mat of a boxing ring. You go, Dr. Drew. I’m in your corner.” –Edgy DC
“Those who believe that Abbey will tell Soph that she should hide her intelligence are wrong, as are those who think Abbey will tell Soph to be proud of her intelligence. Nor will Abbey recommend that Soph stop competing. Instead, this story line will play out the same as all the others: completely forgotten as we suddenly switch to another plot.” –Frank Lee Meidere
“Like so many times with soap opera strips, I find myself drawn to the contents of some characters’ glass. Is the young lady in Mary Worth drinking milk? Opaque water? Opaque vodka? I’m hoping toward the latter, as it’s the only thing that would take my mind off of the cafeteria paint job, which seem to have been pre-coloured to hide my vomit the moment it hits the walls.” –Black Drazon
“Is it wrong that I hope the next three days are Les being beaten to a pulp? That’s for being so smug all the time in the future!” –S. Stout
“Mary Worth is on its way to becoming the pointiest comic on the block, with characters over the last week or so pointing more and more frequently to make pointy points. I think there could still be more, though. Take today’s strip, it could have gone like this: Liza: (pointing at Drew) ‘I like your attitude! You have an attractive appreciation for life.’ Drew: (pointing at self) ‘I can’t help being thankful for my life and all that’s in it!’ Liza: (Pointing to Drew’s smiling mouth) ‘I’m attracted to that happiness … (pointing to self) and I’d like to add to it.’ Drew: (pointing towards crotch) ‘There’s a lot to be grateful for!’” –pugfuggly
“Les, like the wily garden toad, has a bladder a quarter the size of his torso. It’s the only defense he has: copious nervous urination.” –Baka Gaijin
“If Mark Trail were Funky Winkerbean, the big arrow labeled ‘TERMINAL’ would be foreshadowing.” –David Willis
“Is there anything Luann’s Mrs. Horner can’t do? Other than avoid being in this strip, that is.” –True Fable
“Mary Worth is far too subtle for me — does this woman like the doctor or not?” –Gump Worsley
“Just a moment, June, my Rex-Sense is tingling. It warns me when people expect empathy from me.” –Jesse R
“What the hell club would name Momma ‘Mother of the Year?’ The Khmer Rouge?” –Doctor Handsome
Big thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar! And we must of course give thanks to our advertisers:
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This entry was posted on Friday, April 8, 2011 at 08:48 pm and is filed under metaposts. | 64 responses to “” pugfugglyApril 8th, 2011 at 9:01 pm [Reply]
:) Well that just made my day!
Awesome stuff all over this one. Good job, y’all!
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 8th, 2011 at 9:11 pm [Reply]
What a funny week. I injured my throat laughing at the homing pigeon comment. I went the ER, but the nurses and doctors were too busy making out in the cafeteria to help me. Now how will I command my airplane to take off?
Artist formerly known as Ben:
You can’t imagine how easily one of those candy-striper uniforms comes off.
Shows how little you know about me. I volunteered as a hospital transporter when I was a teen. I spent a lot of time imagining it.
Chip Whittle:
Are we positive that Crock cartoonist Incomprehensible Scribble isn’t actually a secret agent and he’s using the dialogue to send coded messages back to his supervisors? The strange eerie effort to not quite approximate anything that people might say or that a joke might be could be deliberate, and the non-Euclidean horrors of the figures might be topographical surveys dressed up with mustaches. Can you say it isn’t happening?
commodorejohn:
Team Phantom decided that someone had to pick up Dick Tracy’s quota of baffling, repetitive nonsense.
Frank Lee Meidere:
See the look on Morbius’s face in panel one? That’s the face of a guy thinking, “I can’t believe he bought that!”
Hibbleton:
Mark is able to fly from an unknown island in Bimini to Miami without navigation charts over a featureless ocean. That actually explains a lot; Mark has the brain of a homing pigeon.
Jim North:
“-I was afraid someone was going to lose an ear to frostbite.” The laughs are kind of sucked out of this punchline given it’s evident that’s exactly why Kristen wears her hair like that. From now on, every panel she’s in will be set up specifically to show off her missing ear.
pugfuggly:
Liza seems to follow every statement she utters with a little tag-on inner dialogue, or from Drew’s perspective, a weirdly awkward silence.
Scott Bot:
After seeing the look in Liza’s eyes in that last panel, and hearing her inner conversation, I just have one bit of advice to offer Dr. Corey – if you happen to have a pet rabbit, I think it would be best to ask a friend to take care of it for a little while.
TheDiva:
From this strip, I have gathered Brooke McEldowney’s turn-on’s are legs, hair, and severely neurotic behavior.
Vince M:
“Didn’t know it was the same Gadhafis -they spelled their name differently.”
Walker of Dog:
A passing doctor stumbles into a table when his vision is obscured by Drew’s dialogue bubble. “Dammit, Drew, lower your voice!”
In the longer comment department, don’t miss Jim North’s comic character alignment chart or boojum and
p=9816#comment-950791">MaryAnnTheRest explaining that Mark Trail and Funky Winkerbean are tales told by an idiot small children.
Mole Man FanApril 8th, 2011 at 9:37 pm [Reply]
@gnome de blog (y#98):
@Mole Man Fan (#51):
So what did “either way, this will be your last night in Boomsby Prison” mean?
Well, Phantom gave Chatu “two choices”: “final night in Boomsby” or “final night on Earth.” Thanks to Chatu cracking the code, we now know that “final night on Earth” = Kit believing he can draw a holstered gun fast enough to blow away someone pointing a loaded gun directly at him at point-blank range (this kind of planning might explain no Phantom has lasted long enough to collect Social Security).
I’m guessing that “final night in Boomsby” = moving Python to the African equivalent of Gitmo, where he’ll have little or no chance of organizing any more attacks on Kit’s family.
After the ass-kicking, of course.
(BTW, congrats to all the COTWers)
Artist formerly known as BenApril 8th, 2011 at 9:55 pm [Reply]
Congratulations to the fine folks on the float. Reading these is a great start to the weekend.
Aaaaaaaaaviatrix, thank you for placing me on your own vehicle. Thanks also for the link to Jim North’s character alignment chart. I love alignment charts, specially since they always seem to start fights. Is Britta from Community Chaotic Good? Depends who you ask.
[Old Man] MuffarooApril 8th, 2011 at 10:04 pm [Reply]
Ahhh, another good Friday read. Especially since this is the week I had to kiss a whole day off, missing 24 hours worth of comments and posting blind because of the the drudgery of work and school and family. Cheers! No chocolate for me this time, thanks, but if you’ve got some beads, I’ll lift up my shirt… (Hey, stop! I didn’t say to toss cookies!)
Rocky StoneaxeApril 8th, 2011 at 10:10 pm [Reply]
Good evening Mr. and Mrs. Curmudgeon from border to border, coast to coast, pole to pole and all the ships at sea. Let’s go to press:
Congratulations are in order for ace reporter MaryAnnTheRest for blowing the lid off the nefarious Funky Winkerbean Flashback Picture Racket. She was aided and abetted by a team of crack investigators made up of: Chyron HR, Dood, TheDiva, Hibbleton, Red Greenback, Rob, Chip Whittle, frippy, Edgy DC, Frank Lee Meidere, Black Drazon, S. Stout, pugfuggly, Baka Gaijin, David Willis, True Fable, Gump Worsley, Jesse R and Doctor Handsome. Known collectively as Team Snark, our brave band of comic commentators has poked a very sharp stick into the eye of The Syndicate and its hired muscle, The Cartoonists!
Artist formerly known as BenApril 8th, 2011 at 10:20 pm [Reply]
A squeaky weenie cart rolls down the street. Is it filled with wieners? Yes, but it’s not a complete sausage fest. Further great comments follow.
MT: “Now, we’ll just need to wait until the cockpit stops being a big, swirly rainbow and you gals stop being lizard people, and we can take off.”—This Guy
A3G – Iris, when a beardy hobo talks to you about “rubbing off,” you don’t smile and look intrigued. You nod, back away, and then break into a sprint as soon as traffic’s clear.—commodorejohn
9CL: I could tell at first glance that Brooke was going to get all rhymey today, which is why I didn’t read any of the text. Why make myself upset on such a sunny spring day? B.M. writes poetry like my ass chews gum.—Ukelele Ike
MW: “Yes, as a matter of fact, I DO wish I was back in Vietnam. I only returned to Santa Rosa to refresh my collection of Men’s Fitness magazines.”—Terry in Maryland
A3G: I was about to ask “Why is Margo wearing latex gloves?”, but then I realized it’s probably because she doesn’t want to leave prints on the murder weapon. Not that she’s planning a particular murder right now, but if you’re Margo, it’s a good idea to be ready for anything. –The Spectacular Spider-Brick
DT: He’s called “The Pouch” because…well, let’s face it, “The Scrotum” just won’t work in most family newspapers—Longhorn
FC: From his perch atop the clock tower, Granddad Number 2 takes careful aim at Jeffy, muttering “You’ve given away my position for the last time, General Rommel.”—Walker of Dog
Pluggers – Apparently leaving your right turn signal on for ten miles is harder on the battery than I thought.—Scott Bot
MW – I feel like we’re going to be treated to this for a whole week. Here’s a preview of Friday’s dialogue:
Drew sez: I put in a lot of long hours at Peace Village.
Liza thinks: I know something long I’d like you to put in my “Peace Village” for hours!—Old School Allie Cat
9CL: Dear God, she’s transforming into the Rolling Stones logo!—TheDiva
BC: I like the implication that all skaters have mohawks and all soccer players have gorgeous blond locks. But seriously, what?—Austria
Has any actual human being ever uttered the sentence, “Wait, what’s that yellow liquid?” The normal response would usually be, “Dude, is that piss?” or, “Hey, that looks like piss!” or, “Why is there piss on the floor? Is Les in the closet, pissing?”—Doctor Handsome
FW: So the yellow liquid was the canola oil Bull and Funky use for lube?—Effluvius Erratus
MT: You know what this storyline was missing? B.A. insisting he wouldn’t get on the plane without a milkshake.—MaryAnnTheRest
If the purpose of Margo’s long-handled implement is indeed masturbatory, her protective gloves and reference to “all the ugly jobs” suggests medical problems or some unnecessary aggression on her part.—The Ploughman
I read Rex’s first line as “What’s work?” I’m not entirely convinced I was wrong.—Chyron HR
Beetle Bailey: Upset of the year: Mort Walker, he of the Gizmo character and 50’s-era “rebels”, beats his slightly more with-it cartoonist competition to the Rebecca Black bandwagon. Hidden panel: the camp hiking to Sarge’s cadence of FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN. –Plinko Commie
Phantom: And thus is born Strip Fight Club. For every roundhouse punch landed, the receiver has to take off one piece of clothing. Believe me: NO ONE talks about Strip Fight Club!—boojum
Gil Thorp: “Coach Alcala isn’t making me exhausted. She’s making me better.” Um…you know that’s not high school sports you’re in, dear, that’s a cult. Or, well, Texas high school sports. Either way, get help.—Chip Whittle
I also tip my cap to Doctor Handsome’s thorough take on the Pouch, which I’m linking to because he’s already done the HTML work.
bats :[April 8th, 2011 at 10:23 pm [Reply]
@Aaaaaaaaaviatrix (#2): I hope that you at least got a bandage on your forehead. You should be good for a week or so.
FUNNY STUFF, Folks!
ElkMeadowApril 8th, 2011 at 10:30 pm [Reply]
**************************************
Congratulations floats riders! Great parade!
Hey! True Fable! Congrats!
*************************************
@Aaaaaaaaaviatrix (#2):
Now how will I command my airplane to take off?
Ask Aleta. As the rules of Hal Foster no longer apply to the strip, she and Mudhen should be flying brooms in the next week or two.
SequiturApril 8th, 2011 at 10:35 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#6): All the news that is the news that was the news that is newly registered on the news channel. News, news, news.
And speaking of news, way to go MaryAnnTheRest and all the others who doth float upon the snarkness of fun comments! It’s the best of times and the better of times. TIMES! That’s another news venue!
HibbletonApril 8th, 2011 at 11:15 pm [Reply]
Funny stuff everyone and thanks for including me on two floats.
Rana the Pedantic Wet BlanketApril 8th, 2011 at 11:49 pm [Reply]
Congrats to the floaters!
Frank Lee MeidereApril 8th, 2011 at 11:56 pm [Reply]
The Pun Float
While the pun may not be the highest form of humour, sometimes the temptation to indulge becomes to great, even for the most sophisticated ‘mudgeon.
So welcome to The Pun Float, an only-slightly-ashamed celebration of our occasional dalliance with the dark side of humour.
From Funky Winkerbean
That little yellow liquid pooling out from under the door of the janitor’s closet, in which a petrified Les Moore presumably quailed in fear of his personal bullies, released a trickle of puns as tasteful as the very best urinal cakes.
————
Dennis Jimenez -
Well at least now we know what makes him so funky….
————
Calvin’s Cardboard Box -
@AhClem (#139): FW – Y’know, I was at a loss to explain what was going on in the strip today, but after reading the comments, I have to say that urinalysis makes the most sense.
————
Chyron HR -
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#182): I pee what you did there.
————
Alfred E. Neuman -
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#182): @Chyron HR (#185): Les is in that closet with his Walkman listening to Urethra Franklin.
————
Sequitur -
@Alfred E. Neuman (#192): I was going to say something about Pia Zadora but I can’t do it.
————
Calvin’s Cardboard Box -
@Alfred E. Neuman (#192): Now, see, if he has just used an i-Pad it might have soaked up the urine and avoided the whole problem.
————
Alfred E. Neuman -
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#198) said Re: FW— “…if he has just used an i-Pad it might have soaked up the urine…”
Well, I’m not sure that he could Depend on that.
—————–
Alfred E. Neuman -
@Sequitur (#199) said: “@Alfred E. Neuman (#192): I was going to say something about Pia Zadora but I can’t do it.”
In that case, I won’t mention NASCAR driver Dick Trickle.
——————-
Rocky Stoneaxe -
@Maggie the Cat (#219): Wow… just browsed through today’s comments. WAY too many mentions of Les Moore’s weiner.
Bet you can’t eat just one.
******************
Mark Trail
Despite his impressive security system (which consisted of hanging the key to his drug-smuggling plane on a key rack by the front door), the moustachioed Otto failed to keep out invading groaners.
—————–
Scott Bot -
@Esther Blodgett (#46): I figured he was calm because he just got back from fighting the dope shed fire, and Otto is blotto.
—————–
Rocky Stoneaxe -
@Sequitur (#51): You Otto be writing jokes for Letterman or O’Brien! (Is your real name “Joe Miller” by any chance?)
—————–
Not Just Any Dipstick -
@Sequitur (#51): Better you remain on your Otto-man, or drive your Otto-mobile with it’s Otto-matic choke, and not make Otterly awful puns.
—————–
Scott Bot -
@Sequitur (#51): Tomorrow, he will pull out his ottomatic and start firing at Mark’s plane.
—————–
Scott Bot -
@Frank Lee Meidere (#73): I know, we otto be shot for such bad puns.
—————–
Katy -
@Scott Bot (#85): Or left alone for the rest of your life, so the only satisfaction you can get is from ottoeroticism.
—————–
Sequitur -
{do not answer pun}
{do not answer pun}
{do not answer pun}
{do not answer pun about ejaculation being ottomatic transmission}
—————–
Not Just Any Dipstick -
Maybe Mark will use the Otto-ejection seat. No, too close to something he just doesn’t ‘get’, if ya know what I mean, and I know you do.
***************
Dennis the Menace
Dennis’s suggestion that Mr. Wilson was more “senile” than “senior” inspired this:
—————–
Dennis Jimenez -
DtM – Mr. Wilson is so limp, he needs a senile implant.
************
Apartment 3G
The sight of Margo brandishing a toilet brush prompted this:
Dood -
Margo’s a regular janitor in a bun.
***************
Jumble
And the Jumble served as inspiration for this:
Spunde -
@Maggie the Cat (#183): I thought for a minute it might be some sort of pun on whole numbers, but then realized that was too rational.
Frank Lee MeidereApril 8th, 2011 at 11:57 pm [Reply]
Damn it! That’s “too great,” not “to great.”
TOO.
Damn it!
Frank Lee MeidereApril 9th, 2011 at 12:15 am [Reply]
The Special Feature Float
***********************
Sometimes a comment will set off an avalanche of responses. This week the most entertaining meme consisted of comics and food.
***********************
Calico -
You know what I’d like to see? A Comics Cookbook.
No recipes from us, the mudgeons, but from the comics charaters themselves.
Tuna Casserole (ech), tofu croquettes, Helga’s “Pot au Feu,” whatever Elly puts on the table for her unappreciative and whiny brood, Diane Wilkins’ roast chicken, Montoni’s Pizza, Loretta Lockhorn’s nasty meatloaf, whatever that brown crap is in Abby Spencer’s mixing bowl, Meatball juice martinis from Cookie, all those nasty “veg-tables” from DtM, etc.
Oh…and Dag’s epic sandwiches!
———————-
Rocky Stoneaxe -
According to the website CalorieLab, such a cookbook has already been published… in Scotland!
Scottish Comic Strip Cookbook a Nutritional Disaster
A cookbook based on the recipes supposedly used by the popular comic strip character Maw Broon (Ma Brown, as pronounced in the Scots vernacular), has risen to the number 2 position on the Scottish bestseller list. Outselling cookbooks from health-oriented celebrity chef Jamie Oliver, Ma Broon’s Cookbook includes recipes for a bacon-and-egg pie (containing half a pound of bacon), sugary “clootie dumplings,” and beef-fat-laden “stovies” stew. A more contemporary Scottish treat, the deep-fried Mars Bar, is not included in the cookbook. Of the recipes nutritionist Carina Norris commented, “There’s no way that I could recommend them … You could well end up obese.”
————————
boojum -
I could SO go for bacon-and-egg pie right now. Ask me about it!
‘Clootie dumpling’ sounds like something both filthy and… oddly tender. Like something your mother called you as a child, and later you found out was an anatomical term of soul-searing inappropriateness.
———————-
UncleJeff -
Per request: Montoni’s Pizza
Mix two cups of flour made from the chaff of the wheat wtih one cup of tears.
Add the yeast of resentment, mix well and allow the dough to rise.
After an hour, hit the dough with crushing despair until it is flattened into a disc.
Put in oven set at 450 degrees to simulate your soul’s eternity.
Remove after 15 minutes.
Toppings?
You can’t top what you did in high school, so why bother with toppings.
Enjoy.
———————————
Old School Allie Cat -
Colognes and Perfumes of the Funnies:
Mary Worth’s Liza – Desperation
Luann’s Tiffany – Bitter – by Coty
A3G’s Margo – Eau de Toilette (Brush)
Gil Thorp’s Al-Jo – Glove’s Baby Soft
Sally Forth’s Sally – Burnt Out Musk
FW’s Les – Janitor in a Drum (mingled with pee)
April 9th, 2011 at 12:42 am [Reply]
*****************************************
Hurray! More floats! Congratulations, everyone!
And thanks for keeping the parade going!
Pie, anyone?
*****************************************
April 9th, 2011 at 12:54 am [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#13): Although it’s not the main float, or @Aaaaaaaaaviatrix’s (#2) secondary float, or @Artist formerly known as Ben’s (#7) tertiary float, I am proud, proud I say, to be included in the company of the dissolute Curmudgeons on the Punography Float. [*]
I’ll wear this award like a Fardel of Honor.
April 9th, 2011 at 1:03 am [Reply]
Aaaah, these are awesome, and thanks for letting mine be a part of them!
dreadedcandiru2April 9th, 2011 at 1:08 am [Reply]
We end this week’s 9 Chickweed Lane with Seth angrily denying that he’s a bisexual; this would be less irritating were he not the one trying to get Roger to admit that he’s gay. This means that for him, honesty is for other people; it also makes him even more of a big brother to Edda who thinks the same damned thing.
Maggie the CatApril 9th, 2011 at 1:14 am [Reply]
Hurrah to the floaters this week! I’ll take some Tootsie-rolls and beads, if you please :-)
And I am honored to have been “replied to”, thus surely being inspirational to TWO of Frank Lee Meidere’s floaters!
Artist formerly known as BenApril 9th, 2011 at 1:29 am [Reply]
@Alfred E. Neuman (#17): It’s a story that begins with once a pun a time.
@dreadedcandiru2 (#19): So brother-sister incest is where Seth draws the line? Live and learn.
Maggie the CatApril 9th, 2011 at 1:29 am [Reply]
Ooohhh…. looks like we’re about to hear some sexy talk at A3G!! What delicious tidbits will Trey whisper seductively in Margo’s ear while undressing her slowly? What was he thinking about for the past 2 weeks?
***Trey’s thoughts, the last two weeks’ summary: bricks, scarves, natural water pump systems, crown molding, rayon scarves, open floor plans, silk scarves, archways, Paul, Paul’s ass, louvered windows, more scarves….***
Maggie the CatApril 9th, 2011 at 1:32 am [Reply]
Good Lord, Liza! I’m sure it’s larger than the distance of your forefinger and thumb! How forward of you to presume! If you’d lay the fuck off, you MIGHT have had a chance to find out in the doctor’s locker room, but you come on stronger than a 13 year old wearing Designer Imposters.
Maggie the CatApril 9th, 2011 at 1:34 am [Reply]
FW- Yeah, Les, he only pretended to prison rape you in the janitor’s closet. What a pal!
Frank Lee MeidereApril 9th, 2011 at 1:43 am [Reply]
Memo from a Concerned ‘Mudgeon
Okay, what the hell is going on with the legacy comics lately? Why is Blondie suddenly being consistently funney, and why is it happening so soon after the Dick Tracy awesomeness-change?
Don’t think me paranoid, but I think there is a subversive movement to introduce quality into legacy comics.
This may sound harmless, or even beneficial, but imagine a future in which Mark Trail’s adventures were suddenly intriguing, and yet interestingly informative? If Rusty stopped being a mutant? If Mark could both think and talk?
An improvement, you say? Sure, but now imagine a psychologically penetrating Mary Worth. A poignant Ziggy. A Lake Wobegone Plugger.
Imagine a funny Beetle Bailey.
Need I say more?
In this future, what becomes of Josh and Comic Curmudgeon?
What becomes of us?
We cannot be relegated to an endless hell of harping about For Better or for Worse!
And before you start to argue that such a future could never come about, let me just remind you that Dick Tracy, aside from suddenly becoming fast-paced and coherent, also no longer takes place in the Cabinet of Caligari, and that Blondie has been funny four or five times in a row.
In. A. Row.
Of course, there is hope. The Phantom seems to be taking over the incomprehensibility and stagnation that Tracy left behind. And there is still no sign that any humans have yet interfered with the software creating Mark Trail. Most reassuring, I suppose, is the knowledge that as long as 9CL clings to its passion for Art, it will never put anything ahead of an intellectual pissing contest.
So maybe I’m worrying for nothing.
Still –
Jim NorthApril 9th, 2011 at 1:44 am [Reply]
Congrats to Mary and the rest of the float riders. And hey, I made it on an axillary float myself. Neat.
So! Onward to Saturday’s comics!
Crank: Ah, jeez, I strained so hard not to actually scream out “THAT WAS IT?!” that a stream of blood shot out of my left tear duct and sprayed across the monitor.
DT: They have a Ghostbusters 5 in the Dick Tracy universe, forever beyond our reach?! GAH! There went the other eye!
Dilbert: In my head, she’s pulling in the Pointy-Hair Boss from the Dilbert TV show. Nothing can convince me different.
GT: “You deserve better than this dump,” he says, right before regurgitating whiskey and blood on Derek’s shoes and pants. He really should’ve eaten some crackers when they were offered, but that would’ve totally killed some of his buzz, man. And you don’t kill Buzz’s buzz, man. You just don’t.
HtH: In today’s Hagar the Horrible, Hagar decides not to have sex with his wife even though he promised he would via a series of gardening innuendos. Instead, he lays out a depressing platitude, indicating that he plans to stay in bed all day to plot out his Funky Winkerbean/Mary Worth crossover fan fic.
JP: Oh, good. Even though Abbey has given Sophie truly good advice, Sophie manages to restate it in such a way that we still get the regular quota of smug jerkass superiority that we’re used to receiving from Judge Parker.
R=R: And that song, coincidentally enough, is “Pepperooni”.
SS: Is the cake hidden under the abstract sculpture made entirely from cast-off asphalt, or what?
S-M: I was gonna say that given how energetic and goal-oriented Spidey has suddenly become, he’d probably have that whole “crime” thing in NYC completely licked in a couple of weeks if MJ just offers him some hot chocolate for every criminal he brings to justice . . . but then I realized that “hot chocolate” was probably a euphemism for some horrifically deviant sexual practice, and suddenly the whole idea turned into one of those utopia stories where the “perfect peace” of the society turns out to be based on something like using clean-burning orphans’ souls for fuel.
Frank Lee MeidereApril 9th, 2011 at 1:46 am [Reply]
@Alfred E. Neuman (#17): Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! I thought and thought for a good name for the float, but just came up with crap.
The float is officially renamed.
Frank Lee MeidereApril 9th, 2011 at 1:49 am [Reply]
Crap, it’s worse than I thought. Curtis just made me laugh.
Curtis.
Chip WhittleApril 9th, 2011 at 2:02 am [Reply]
My thanks for the generous float nominations, and congratulations to the elect.
AaaaaaaaaviatrixApril 9th, 2011 at 2:05 am [Reply]
I feel like I’m raining on the parade as I start to snark the new day’s comics, but FW is that it? We’re going to cut back to the main storyline with no explanation for the bizarre scene in the closet? For people who remember the unretconned version, it’s a cheat and a lie and for the people who don’t, it’s just bizarrely complicated and nonsensical. Can we have a cat in Funky Winkerbean? A cute cat that doesn’t portend death and misery, I mean.
AaaaaaaaviatrixApril 9th, 2011 at 2:09 am [Reply]
I think Abbey is going to teach Sophie how to do “the flip,” not the cheerleading kind, the one from Legally Blonde.
AaaaaaaaviatrixApril 9th, 2011 at 2:11 am [Reply]
MT: I expected Mark to take care of the week-old beard before calling home.
AaaaaaaaviatrixApril 9th, 2011 at 2:18 am [Reply]
@Aaaaaaaaaviatrix (#30): When someone punches his own hand in FW does it mean the same thing as in 9CL?
This GuyApril 9th, 2011 at 2:29 am [Reply]
Floatastic!
4/9
DT:
This could easily turn into an episode of Are You Being Served?
RUMBOLD: Ah, so Mr. Garcia hoped to barter the clams for this new equipment.
PEACOCK: Ah, no, sir. “Clams” are dollars.
RUMBOLD: Captain Peacock, I may not be a scientist, but I know quite well that clams and sand dollars are not the same thing!
FW: “Yeah, he took care of me all right. The ruse was tiresome, but the handjobs were terrific!”
Momma: Maybe you could fantasize better if the top of your skull weren’t missing. Just putting that out there.
mollificentApril 9th, 2011 at 2:29 am [Reply]
Wonderful comments! I’m sorry I’ve been AWOL lately, y’all…I’m in the throes of an obsession a project and haven’t had time to keep up with comments. I’ll prodigally return soon. ;)
Frank Lee MeidereApril 9th, 2011 at 2:36 am [Reply]
@Aaaaaaaaviatrix (#33): Ew! Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew! Funny! Ewwww!
ElkMeadowApril 9th, 2011 at 2:48 am [Reply]
Hey, Berna, try punching *69 to get the last number that called your phone. (However, if someone called you right after you talked to Dexter, the number is gawn.) And my phone is a five year TracFone but it still shows me what numbers have called me.
Liza, you blew it! “Eventually” you’ll get back to your shift? I think we’re going to be going on a story arc about medical professionals in the pharmacy supplies, a rerun real switch from Lonnie’s demon rum. You’d have to be stoned to miss Dr. Drew’s reaction.
ElkMeadowApril 9th, 2011 at 2:52 am [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#25):
Speaking of Blondie, did anyone ever find out who Iggy Sorenson is?
Frank Lee MeidereApril 9th, 2011 at 2:56 am [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#38): Didn’t he change his name to Iggy Pop?
Joe BtfsplkApril 9th, 2011 at 3:41 am [Reply]
Phantom – I haven’t read the entire threads over the last week or two or however long this has been dragging on now, so maybe someone has already explained this and I missed it, but… Why exactly didn’t Chatu just go ahead and shoot the Phantom, when he had the gun pointed right at him? I don’t want to sound like I’m supporting the villain here; it’s just that, well, you know, that’s what I would have done, had I been in his place.
And you know… The Walker kids have been the same damn age for decades now. There’s no reason for this, really. The Phantom Canon allows for him to die and be replaced by the next in line. It’s a built-in way to reboot and refresh, and the possibility of the Phantom actually being defeated would add interest to the strip. We know Chatu isn’t going to win here, because the strip hasn’t been cancelled, and the successor isn’t old enough to take over. The author/s made a mistake in the beginning, in my opinion, by not having their characters age in real time.
Alfred E. NeumanApril 9th, 2011 at 3:59 am [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#27) said: “@Alfred E. Neuman (#17): Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! I thought and thought for a good name for the float, but just came up with crap.”
Don’t beat yourself up. I come up with crap all the time. The difference is, I post mine anyway.
Mr. O'MalleyApril 9th, 2011 at 4:16 am [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#15): The Broons is a pretty funny strip. If you appreciate Scottish humour, at any rate. It’s been running for ages. I believe it (together with its stablemate Oor Wullie) is the source for “Crivvens!”, as featured in Terry Pratchett’s Wee Free Men stories.
The Broons’ lifestyle probably does not include much in the way of healthy cuisine, so I imagine the bacon and egg pie is hardly the worst thing in the book. (Although Scottish bacon is not mostly fat like American bacon.) In fact, it is hard to imagine a Broons cookbook as being anything other than an extended joke.
While the Sunday Post has some stories online, unfortunately the comics are not included. Now I’m thinking I should check out the prices on the annuals, though.
gleebApril 9th, 2011 at 6:45 am [Reply]
So, Christian Louboutin, then. You don’t have to repeat it so much, Zippy.
A 3-G: Trey, you already said you were thinking about Margo. And I refuse to believe you can keep two things on your mind without getting a fever.
Dick: Next time he’s pinched? Let’s see, weird coke-bottle glasses, hair shaved on the sides and left as a mop up top…I don’t want to know his crime of choice. I like the way too much Flintstones has influenced his speech, though.
Dilbert: Hmmm, all right. A bit slow, but finally thinking about new material after coasting so long is going to be like that.
‘bean: And i think we all suspect what the quid pro quo was, Creepy Les.
Baka GaijinApril 9th, 2011 at 6:47 am [Reply]
@Christian Louboutin Boots,Christian Louboutin Flats,Christian Louboutin Hot Red (#43): Great, the AJGLU-3000’s cousin in marketing has found us.
FlummoxicatedApril 9th, 2011 at 7:27 am [Reply]
MW: while the characters have been pointing all week, the sad truth is that there is no point to this plot.
FW: It’s like Batuik is writing fan fic based on his earlier work.
DairyStateDadApril 9th, 2011 at 7:44 am [Reply]
@Mole Man Fan (#3):
@Mole Man Fan (#y51):
The play-by-play is really helpful — I couldn’t figure out WTF was going on.
That said, I thought DS Brooks disarming the frightened young thug on Law & Order UK last week was a lot more credible.
Terry in Silver SpringApril 9th, 2011 at 7:52 am [Reply]
Phantom: Are the Python and the Phantom in the third grade? I swear this looks like a playground fight. Are they both talking trash, hoping the teacher is going to walk by?
MW: Aw, screw the patients. We can get more.
MT: This whole story arc has been stoooooopid.
HibbletonApril 9th, 2011 at 7:57 am [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#25)
: . . . but imagine a future . . . If Mark could both think and talk?
Now you’re just being silly.
DairyStateDadApril 9th, 2011 at 8:12 am [Reply]
And many hearty congrats to all of the funny riders on all of the funny (and punny!) floats!
Rocky StoneaxeApril 9th, 2011 at 8:25 am [Reply]
I’m bummed out because I just learned local kid show host Mary Ellen Sussex passed away on April 7. Once in the early 1960s, I got to sit in the “Peanut Gallery” on Popeye Playhouse — and I still cherish the memory. Here’s her obit (complete with photo of Mary Ellen) from the Saturday St. Petersburg Times:
http://www.tampabay.com/features/media/article1162675.ece
Rocky StoneaxeApril 9th, 2011 at 8:38 am [Reply]
Thanks to Frank Lee Meidere for tipping his hat in my direction. It takes some of the edge off the sad, sad news about Mary Ellen.
Scott BotApril 9th, 2011 at 8:38 am [Reply]
I made three floats! Wow, thanks, and congrats to all the float riders!
And now for the snark -
GT – Ah, Goshen. If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere!
MT – ‘I better call my family. Last time I was gone this long, someone replaced me with a mannequin as a joke, and it was three weeks before anyone noticed the difference.’
RMMD – ‘Which lowlife? You mean June? She’s right here with me, and Dex isn’t with her at all.’
FlummoxicatedApril 9th, 2011 at 8:51 am [Reply]
FW: So Les pissed himself even though he apparently knew he wasn’t going to get beat up. I see.
Vince MApril 9th, 2011 at 9:03 am [Reply]
I just knew Hamburger Guy would inspire. Oh, and cool! I’m on a float – of a sort. Thanks, Aaaaaaaaaviatrix!
Scott BotApril 9th, 2011 at 9:04 am [Reply]
Pluggers – The waitress seems concerned not with the amount of food the Plugger is ordering, but the condition of the stool he’s sitting on. After all, those things can only take so much weight before they collapse.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoApril 9th, 2011 at 9:12 am [Reply]
Frazz: Mallett agrees my snark from earlier this week. :-P
Lio: a good take-out place can be hard to find.
NAoQV: *SNURK!!!!!*
R&R: but it might! (apropos of nothing, there were three bunnehs in the back yard when I was making the morning coffee.)
Bizarro: “It’s typical for this age, he’ll grow out of it eventually.”
Zits: has it been two weeks yet? *goes to look* No, no it has not. Only a week and a half. Darn permissive parents and the Status Quo.
boojumApril 9th, 2011 at 9:13 am [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#13): Fuckin’ puns. I should have gone for puns…
Congrats, floaters! I’m still chortling. And many thanks for the honorable mentions on the truck floats. You (modified) like me! You really (modified) like me!!
terrapinApril 9th, 2011 at 9:17 am [Reply]
FW: So, now I’m left with the image of Les taking a leak in the janitor’s closet to simulate pissing himself out of fear. Thanks Batiuk! Thanks a lot! Oh and by the way. High school bullies didn’t fake beating up weaker guys to be ‘cool’ for their friends. High school bullies BEAT UP weaker guys to be ‘cool’ for their friends. But you wouldn’t know any of that ‘real world’ stuff would you?
MT: Cherry, “Mark! I’m so pleased you’re not dead! WHO the hell IS Lonnie?”
Luann: Yes! You should do it as a group! In a small, air tight janitor’s closet! And open a bottle of ammonia!
Baka GaijinApril 9th, 2011 at 10:04 am [Reply]
Extra! Extra! Read all about it! New Saturday Thread! Extra! Extra!
bats :[April 9th, 2011 at 10:48 am [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#51): Aww, R.I.P. to a fine lady. Here’s to those great kid show hosts that didn’t feed pablum to their audiences! I have the fondest memories of Wallace and Ladmo and even that brat Gerald…
Frank Lee MeidereApril 9th, 2011 at 11:33 am [Reply]
@Mr. O’Malley (#42): Although I’ve always lived in Canada, I grew up with The Broons and Oor Wullie. I had a relative in Scotland who collected the comics and then sent them over about twice a year. I loved getting that bundle of papers with Nero and Nosey Parker. But the two heavy-hitters were the Broons and Wullie — with their frequent cross overs.
Frank Lee MeidereApril 9th, 2011 at 11:41 am [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#51): It’s sad, isn’t it. I remember when Soupy died. But it’s really special to have been in the famed Peanut Gallery.
ElkMeadowApril 9th, 2011 at 1:42 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#51): @bats :[ (#61): @Frank Lee Meidere (#63):
We had Ramblin’ Rod in Portland, Oregon, and they kept up the show into the 90’s–I made sure my kids got on it. He was an official greeter all over the city at all sorts of charity events and store openings, and died shortly after he retired. I’m sorry that there isn’t a market for such children’s shows anymore.
Vince MApril 9th, 2011 at 1:46 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#51): Sounds like she was a pretty cool gal, championing natural food way back when – my local kid show hosts were constantly pushing Hostess snack cakes.
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