Dennis the Menace, 5/20/11
Ha ha, Dennis knows the score! “Mom, this $2 patty of Grade F meat smeared with American cheese and non-fancy ketchup certainly isn’t anything that would be improved if I savored it. You’re supposed to wolf it down as fast as you can so the fat triggers all the pleasure centers in your brain extra hard! That’s what it’s for!”
Apartment 3-G, 5/20/11
I honestly have no idea what eerie bouquet-holding superstition Paul’s mom might be referring to, but that makes me as dumb as Lu Ann, so I’m going to not think about it and instead admit that I’m also not sure why exactly Paul’s mom is so keen to take pictures of our happy couple. I guess it could be because they’re supposed to be all dressed up for the wedding, but Paul is wearing a suit and tie, just like all men in the A3Giverse do constantly, and Lu Ann’s hideous bridesmaid’s dress in completely invisible under her all-encompassing coat. (That coat, by the way, is an instance of this strip accidentally depicting a garment that a young person in New York in 2011 might actually wear, although Lu Ann doesn’t seem like the spend-too-much-at-a-vintage-clothing-store-in-Park-Slope type.)
Gasoline Alley, 5/20/11
Five years ago, Slim tried and failed to feed his grandson to the bears. He’s not going to let another opportunity slip through his fingers!
This entry was posted on Friday, May 20, 2011 at 08:49 am and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Dennis the Menace, Gasoline Alley. | 336 responses to “” coloradoMay 20th, 2011 at 8:54 am [Reply]
Feed him to the bears? How’d I miss that??
Rocky StoneaxeMay 20th, 2011 at 9:00 am [Reply]
5-20 Weird Sound Effects:
Garfield — DING DING
Rose is Rose —
http://comics.com/rose_is_rose/
Pajama Diaries — POOOF… FFPPTTT
Bleeker the Rechargeable Dog —
http://www.jsonline.com/comics/32402404.html?feature_id=Bleeker
But What Do I Know?May 20th, 2011 at 9:01 am [Reply]
A3G — When LuAnn thinks “What does that mean?” I’d say “that” covers a lot of ground. She could be referring to any one of those words or a combination thereof, not excluding “or”, “are”, and “you.”
The Ghost Whose Reputation Precedes Him — I hope the kid doesn’t start blabbing about Chess Club–you know the First Rule of Chess Club.
MT — The only way this conversation could make sense is if Andy was talking to the Giant Squirrel. But say, doesn’t JC need to leave soon? Doesn’t he have something planned for tomorrow?
pugfugglyMay 20th, 2011 at 9:01 am [Reply]
I think the superstition in today’s A3G is the old adage: ‘It’s bad luck to get your picture taken with a bouquet while on a date with your first cousin’.
That is where this story is going, right? I know that every character in this strip is essentially the same Barbie/Ken doll with different hair, but even within that narrow band of variation these two children of the corn look like they’re one chromosome away from being identical twins.
Scott BotMay 20th, 2011 at 9:02 am [Reply]
Archie – Aw, c’mon, Ronnie, try it on…
DT – Party at Sunny Dell Acres!
FW – Don’t worry, Les, the perfectly awful book will still be there.
GT – Governor Walker Hobart sure takes his job seriously, doesn’t he?
MT – Chuck Norris is looking good there! Guess that Grecian Formula is really working well for him.
Luann – Just wait until she sees the other sign – the one above the toilet.
Pluggers – Anywhere else, a working tube radio would be a nice antique, and an interesting conversation piece. In Pluggerland, it’s a defiant smack in the face to those young whippersnappers and their new fangled internets.
Rocky StoneaxeMay 20th, 2011 at 9:02 am [Reply]
@bats :[ (#y245):
[Piranha Club] Doris is pregnant?! Is Ernie the father?
Yes, but due to a tragic comic misunderstanding, Ernie thinks Arnold is the papa!
Rocky StoneaxeMay 20th, 2011 at 9:04 am [Reply]
@Mark B (#y266):
DT: Hot Rize’s career as a crime boss is unraveling quickly. She probably never should have quit her previous job as a ventriloquist’s dummy.
Jimmy Olsen for Dummies:
http://drawn.ca/archive/the-weird-world-of-jimmy-olsen/
bourbon babe, unbuckledMay 20th, 2011 at 9:05 am [Reply]
A3G: Well, Luann, “superstitious” means “believing in superstitions”—you know, like you believe that if you spill salt in front of Margo, she’ll hunt you down and kill you.
JP: “With one L”: It’s little touches like that one that makes this strip not only better drawn than other soap strips, but also better written.
SB: Like others here, I wasn’t expecting the A3G crossover.
MT: For someone who has spent the last two years surviving in the wilderness without ever returning to civilization, John “Fringe” Thrasher doesn’t look any more unkempt than the average Country Music Awards attendee.
Rocky StoneaxeMay 20th, 2011 at 9:08 am [Reply]
Family Circus — The verboten word is “evolution”!
BrianMay 20th, 2011 at 9:11 am [Reply]
“Oh, Boy! Will I?” — Nice try at the antic lingo, but “Will I” in this context is an exclamation, not a question.
LorneMay 20th, 2011 at 9:13 am [Reply]
Actually, Lu Ann is constantly thinking “What does that mean?” in response to every statement and situation she encounters.
They just happened to catch it in a thought bubble this time.
May 20th, 2011 at 9:13 am [Reply]
9CL – It finally hit her, huh?
FC – What did Jeffy say? A four-letter word, or something more, like “freedom” or something?
FW – Yeah, Les, the book is still going to be awful. You can take heart in that.
MT – Wait, aren’t they one and the same? Oh wait, I know what’s going on here. Bearded man is actually NOT the villain, while the “clean-cut kids” ARE!
S-M – Wow, even Mary Jane is more powerful than our hero. Look at her fly!
NekrotzarMay 20th, 2011 at 9:13 am [Reply]
You know what’s menacing? Those french fries, looking like fat fingers reaching out of the paper sleeve in the style of the Addams family, ready to strangle Dennis’s mom and anyone else who stands in the way of his plans for world domination.
Little GuyMay 20th, 2011 at 9:14 am [Reply]
GA: Clovia GILFJeans sighting!
You Must Drink! You Will Drink! You Will Become a Vampyre! I’ll be glad when Spiderman returns from its hiatus. There’s gotta be a better way to test a strip in the comics.
Scott BotMay 20th, 2011 at 9:15 am [Reply]
JP – You know, I never really thought about it before, but I guess Columbo would be a good choice for the suicide detail – ‘Oh, just one more thing before you jump…’
pugfugglyMay 20th, 2011 at 9:15 am [Reply]
Today’s Pluggers signals a new era of cryptoplugerration. A joke about using old vacuum tube radios, a technology that was practically obsolete by the end of the 1950s, could have been ‘funny’ about 30 years ago, but today just smacks of such a complete rejection of modern technology that it borders on dangerous anti-social behaviour. Frankly, I’m amazed that the little bear is actually aware of AM/FM radio at all, and hasn’t just assumed that Pops keeps a toaster in the den.
Mark BMay 20th, 2011 at 9:16 am [Reply]
Judge Parker: Constance seems a little young to be wearing bifocals. And when does she ever shut up?
Shermy GlamrockerMay 20th, 2011 at 9:17 am [Reply]
Dennis may be eating that burger in 2011, but the background clearly shows it was cooked in 1955. Note the clues: Everything’s in black-and-white, greasy spoon hats perched on the staff’s heads, ponytail, letter jacket, no colored folks at the counter.
R in CTMay 20th, 2011 at 9:17 am [Reply]
I think the pleasure centers being triggered are those in the minds of the leering fast food workers who seem to be enjoying the upskirt show from Mrs. Mitchell, who doesn’t appear to be wearing any pants under her overcoat.
Rocky StoneaxeMay 20th, 2011 at 9:28 am [Reply]
Josh: Five years ago, Slim tried and failed to feed his grandson to the bears.
Not only did Boog-Boog survive his close encounter with a couple of bears, he got a special tattoo to mark the occasion:
http://fs.migente.com/059a95d7ffb8b4325b759925f4d98f9adfdfe568/437x
Esther BlodgettMay 20th, 2011 at 9:31 am [Reply]
GT: I predict the next sentence out of Hobart’s mouth will include the words “Final Solution.” He’s getting real, indeed.
pugfugglyMay 20th, 2011 at 9:32 am [Reply]
What fast food joint are Denis and Mom eating at anyhow? From the logo on the drinks, I might guess ‘Kidney Burger’.
Scott BotMay 20th, 2011 at 9:33 am [Reply]
DT – Judging by Junior’s expression and excited exclamations, he wasn’t using accepted laboratory testing methods to learn that the substance he found was crack cocaine.
Mark BMay 20th, 2011 at 9:36 am [Reply]
DT: Never get your scary baby wet … and never never never ever feed it cocaine …
LUJBEM FEJFMay 20th, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]
Dennis, you know you’re a Plugger when you eat your FAST food SLOWLY.
jayjaybearMay 20th, 2011 at 9:41 am [Reply]
A3G: Luann doesn’t need to spend too much at a Park Slope retro shop. All of the A3G ladies have closets full of the original vintage stuff. After all, they wore it all when it was fashionable the FIRST time!
They just happened to catch it in a thought bubble this time.
o/` If I could catch thought in a bubble,
I’d letter it so legibly.
For what good is a thought
if you don’t get bon mots
in the script, just like me?
If I had a thought ’stead of bubbles,
I could escape A3G!
No more Margo to beat me,
or Tommie to bleat me
to sleep. I’d be free!
And I’d wander through
the countryside
and the Greyhound buses
I will ride,
painting daisies.
Going to Montana now,
tomorrow I might paint a cow,
it’s crazy. o/`
May 20th, 2011 at 9:42 am [Reply]
GA: A bear eating Boog could create this conversation…
Bear 1: Hi, Bob, how’s it going?
Bear 2: I just ate a Boog.
B1: A boog? You mean like in booger?
B2: No, no. That’s gross. It was a small child.
B1: Human?
B2: I’m not sure but tasted kind of funny.
B1: I’m surprised considering the strip we’re in.
Calvin's Cardboard BoxMay 20th, 2011 at 9:42 am [Reply]
FW – So Les is worried that the adaptation will be awful? And also that it will not be faithful to the source? He can’t have it both ways! Either they faithfully adapt his awful book, or they turn it into a compelling story.
Marvin – Marvin’s shit stinks. Cut-and-paste this comment for every Marvin strip ever.
DoodMay 20th, 2011 at 9:42 am [Reply]
Lu Ann should have her “What does that mean?” thought balloon permanently pinned abover her head.
Scott BotMay 20th, 2011 at 9:44 am [Reply]
@Lorne (#11): ‘What does that mean?’ is in regular rotation in her thoughts, along with ‘did I leave the oven on?’ and ‘look, a squirrel!’
Mark BMay 20th, 2011 at 9:45 am [Reply]
FW: Les drives to the California state line, tosses his book over … gets fined for littering. Neatly wrapping up the movie adaptation plot line.
Mark BMay 20th, 2011 at 9:47 am [Reply]
Junior Tracy: “Detour to Sunny Dell Acres. I’ve found some crack cocaine.” Pick up some crack ‘hos along the way. Partayyyy!!!!
Ned RyersonMay 20th, 2011 at 9:49 am [Reply]
A3G: What the heck? You take a guy to a wedding as your date. He catches the bridal bouquet. Then, he asks you if you wouldn’t mind stopping by to see his mother? Then his mother wants to get a few pictures of the two of you and she wants you to hold the bouquet?? Granted, this is Luann, so Paul Linsky could suddenly start talking from a second mouth below his chin and ask her if she wants to join him in the sewer for a quick bite of rat tart, and she’d probably stare vacantly and nod in assent, but come on.
MW: Hey Liza, we’re not doing the thought bubble thing anymore, we’re at the laying the cards on the table stage so you will get it through your thick skull that we’re totally not dating or in any kind of relationship whatsoever and I’m seriously thinking about getting on a plane back to Vietnam but I’m afraid that you might be there waiting for me so I’m not going to say anything about where I might be going and I’m changing my number and I hate you and your stupid face and if you don’t get it out of my face I’m going to punch it because I’d rather lose my hospital privileges and my medical license than suffer a second longer while you entertain this fantasy that we’re dating.
So, lunch then, sweetheart?
AAAAAAAAUUUUGGGHHHH, er, um AAAAAAAAUUUUGGGHHHH.
teenchyMay 20th, 2011 at 9:49 am [Reply]
@Shermy Glamrocker (#18): Maybe they’re at a White Castle or Johnny Rockets?
Dunno, but you hit the nail on the head. I was born during the Kennedy Administration so didn’t experience it all firsthand but I’ve seen my share of eating establishments with the words “Colored Entrance” or “Colored Bathroom” haphazardly painted over. Alwyas makes me wonder if those Americans so fond of the 1950s are nostalgic for the sense of unbridled US prosperity or for something more.
Whenever I read DtM I see it as being frozen in the ’50s, much like Pleasantville.
DoodMay 20th, 2011 at 9:50 am [Reply]
Gil Thorp: Hobart’s “To eliminate the possibility forever” will spark a new wave of Downfall inspired parodies.
Esther BlodgettMay 20th, 2011 at 9:52 am [Reply]
A3G: From the look on Paul’s face in panel 3, I’d guess that more than one of his girlfriends has ended up Mom’s shrunken head collection after hearing the words “Do you mind holding the bouquet?” and that he still admires her moxie after all this time.
Écureuil ÉcumantMay 20th, 2011 at 9:55 am [Reply]
A3G: I have no earthly idea why Paul’s mom thinks it’d be superstitious to take a picture of Paul with Lu Ann holding a nosegay of pansies.
DoodMay 20th, 2011 at 9:59 am [Reply]
DtM Clearly the Mitchells live in a time before the Tensabarrier became all the rage in easily configurable line management systems.
Old School Allie CatMay 20th, 2011 at 9:59 am [Reply]
MW – Liza’s “Says you!” in the last panel is the new “Christ, what an asshole!”
Try it, it’s fun!
Tom the Sailor ManMay 20th, 2011 at 10:03 am [Reply]
Today’s Archie is the opposite of yesterday’s Mr. Boffo.
HibbletonMay 20th, 2011 at 10:04 am [Reply]
JP:
Detective; “Let me get this straight. You and ‘Jugs’ Parker took this Dr. St. John up on the roof to do him bookend style and now he wants to jump. What’d you threaten to tell his wife?”
May 20th, 2011 at 10:06 am [Reply]
FW: Thus does the cartoonist both admit to and justify being a retconning hack.
McManxMay 20th, 2011 at 10:09 am [Reply]
Archie — Okay, the change in Archie now has fully moved from just the art, to total character development shifts. Why is Ronnie, after 50 years of being a rich gal shopaholic spendthrift, is concern over the price of anything? And don’t divert attention from this little detail by filling my mind with the image of Veronica in that micro string bikini!!!
Phantom — Having been outed by a child protegy and his old chess-playing professor, Kit Walker hangs up his striped pants and opens an eco-tourism company.
Dennis — Mrs. Mitchell has this look as if she is really comtemplating Dennis’ question…. “(If he does gobble down his food and chokes to death, it’s not really murder is it…?) Okay dear! You are right! Show Mommy just how fast you can cram that burger down…”
DoodMay 20th, 2011 at 10:13 am [Reply]
Judge Parker: “Alan Parker…with one ‘L!’ As in, we had one ‘ell of a time up on that rooftop!”
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 20th, 2011 at 10:17 am [Reply]
3G – To put it in terms you’ll get, she means you could get wedding cooties, Lu Ann! And the look on Paul’s face suggests he knows what’s going on. I think he’s planning on doing Lu Ann in and posing as her for the next ten years in the strip. He’ll have to grow his hair out.
Bizarro – Clown! This reminds me of a Superman episode where a clown goes bad (yeah, yeah, I know) and falls off of a roof. Superman gets there a minute too late, and the police fill him in on it. I always wanted to rewrite the cop’s speech.
“Yes, Superman. He was a clown who went bad. But I want to tell you: I’ve been a cop in this town for twenty years, and I never saw anything like it. He stood up on that roof, four stories above the street, and when he felt his balance going, he met the challenge, faced it like a true clown.
“His back was to the street. First he leaned in as far as he could, with his arms whirling like two windmills in a hurricane. Then he leaned back and those arms went even faster. Then his butt stuck out what seemed like a mile, and we could see he was going down.
“He went feet first! He went head first! He went butt first! He tried flapping his arms! He mimed like he was praying, on his knees and everything. He reached up and grabbed his hat and planted it back on his head. He pulled a little tiny umbrella out of somewhere and held it over him until it turned inside out, and then he threw it away.
“Then he gave a big sigh. It was just as if you could hear what he was thinkin’. He shrugged his shoulders and looked sad and waved bye-bye. And he put on a brave little smile.
“And when he hit that street, he made the loudest HONK any of us ever heard. We were still clapping when you showed up.”
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 20th, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]
Crock – MEGABYTES!! Am I right? Thanks, you’ve been wonderful.
Marmaduke – Yeah, Marmaduke! Pick up the phone and call to let Dottie know when you’re bringing friends home. You know, like the way you order pizza. You could also text, or send an email, or perhaps a candygram. You grinning demon in canine form!
Marfield – I don’t say this often, but it’d be funnier if the last panel was his rotting corpse.
Prickly – Imperfect metaphor. They should have been chained together.
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 20th, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]
6 – Equally funny alternative balloon text:
• “I have a terrible skin condition!”
• “I keep forgetting Fermat’s last theorem!”
• “I hear we might have rain later on.”
• “That Fred Basset just busts me up.”
• “Well, they got bin Laden.”
Ziggy – His cousin’s from Cuba! So his name’s Alejandro! And he’s smoking — wait for it — a CIGAR!
Man, Wilson’s on FIRE today.
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 20th, 2011 at 10:20 am [Reply]
Book Bargain – There’s a big overstock/surplus place called Ollie’s here. I don’t know if there are others like it, but they have volumes IV through IX of Winsor McCay: Early Works for just $2.99 each. I didn’t see any other volumes, but this is a hella deal, and I just want to mention it in case anybody out there is in a position to use it.
@But What Do I Know? (#3): But say, doesn’t JC need to leave soon? Doesn’t he have something planned for tomorrow?
Absolutely! Even Eddie Bauer believes it. I got an email from him this morning that said
Last Days – 25% Off Everything!
@Scott Bot (#5): The fact that my (now deleted) Dick Tracy comment used the exact same words as yours is a ringing endorsement of your comment.
@Ned Ryerson (#33): Great setup! Now, wherever Drew goes, he’ll get off the plane, or out of the car, or he’ll run up a fire escape into a 99th floor room, and Liza will be there. And in a slow, droopy drawl, she’ll say, “Ready for our date, Bub?”
DoodMay 20th, 2011 at 10:20 am [Reply]
Apartment 3-G: “It’s OK, Lu Ann. Just hold the bouquet for the photo and afterwards Paul will de-flower you.”
MustangMay 20th, 2011 at 10:21 am [Reply]
A3G – I was curious too, but too lazy to go past the first Google result, which says “Wedding bouquets were originally made of such strong herbs as thyme and garlic, which were meant to frighten away evil spirits, and to cover the stench emitting from people who had not bathed recently!”
Alan's AddictionMay 20th, 2011 at 10:29 am [Reply]
I can read Dennis’s mother’s thoughts as she stares at her hideous, cretinous child; “My God, I gave birth to an over-sized pig/chipmunk hybrid.”
I found the facial expressions of Paul and his mother to be amazingly creepy, and I didn’t know why. Then I realized, it’s because neither of them is looking at Lu Ann; they’re both giving each other “knowing, kinda sexy” looks. And that’s amazingly creepy when it happens between parent and offspring.
“Having a good time” is strictly forbidden in Gasoline Alley, that’s the real reason Slim grabbed the kid.
May 20th, 2011 at 10:31 am [Reply]
The noseless smiley-faced guy in the background of today’s Dennis the Menace is seriously creepy and isn’t even necessary, as another person is already behind the counter. Why is it staring at the reader with that weird smirk?
teenchyMay 20th, 2011 at 10:33 am [Reply]
@McManx (#43): Why is Ronnie, after 50 years of being a rich gal shopaholic spendthrift, is concern over the price of anything?
Daddy’s failed real estate investments?
Puzzled in PeoriaMay 20th, 2011 at 10:33 am [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#45): Your Superman rewrite is funnier than anything I read in the comics today.
Puzzled in PeoriaMay 20th, 2011 at 10:37 am [Reply]
@sporknpork (#52): You found Waldo!
PipMay 20th, 2011 at 10:42 am [Reply]
Dennis The Menace: Why are Dennis and his mom eating in front of a matte painting?
Écureuil ÉcumantMay 20th, 2011 at 10:43 am [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#8): “MT: For someone who has spent the last two years surviving in the wilderness without ever returning to civilization, John “Fringe” Thrasher doesn’t look any more unkempt than the average Country Music Awards attendee.”
I won’t say he looks like he crawled out from under a flat rock. Actually, he looks like he crawled out flat from under a rock.
Effluvius ErratusMay 20th, 2011 at 10:44 am [Reply]
A3G:
I honestly have no idea what eerie bouquet-holding superstition Paul’s mom might be referring to…
I wonder if it’s one of those “Lottery in June…” things. “Bouquet in May, your boyfriend’s gay.”
GT: A man, a plan, a union-free school district: HOBART.
H&J: Normally I’d mock Herb and Jamaal for their generic wording and elliptical phrasing, but if “Lisa’s Story” moved me to tears, I’d be loathe to admit it too.
Tomorrow’s Mary Worth: “One part morphine, two parts ketamine. That should do him for a while… Now to head down to Little Haiti for some tetrodotoxin… say, I wonder if that bokor does weddings…”
Snuffy Smith: It’s funny because they’re going to bludgeon the baby unconcious with a heavy math textbook.
nescioMay 20th, 2011 at 10:44 am [Reply]
Family Circus: The taboo word is “grow.”
Marvin: My only comment on this is FU, Armstrong.
TheDivaMay 20th, 2011 at 10:49 am [Reply]
A3G: So…if you get your picture taken holding the bouquet caught by your date in defiance of wedding tradition…you’re going to marry him? You’re not going to get married at all? The camera in capturing your image will steal your soul? Help me out here.
(Why does Mom even want pictures? Does she think it’s prom night?)
9CL: Oh, NOW you’re weirded out?
C’shaft: It’s funny because their contempt for Crankshaft is such that they don’t expect him to have higher brain functions. (Of course I’m sure the feeling is mutual.)
DT: Whooo, party at Dell Acres!
FW: “All right, imaginary manifestation of my dead wife, if you insist, I’ll let Hollywood option my book and open myself up for even more adulation and praise from the unworthy masses. It will be difficult, but such are the burdens a Specialest Snowflake must suffer.”
MT: Today the role of John Thrasher will be played by Bob Vila. “What we’re doing here, Mark, is trapping a nosy mountain man and his dog in a pit…”
MW: So, what’s the over-under on how long it will take Liza to chain Drew up in her basement?
SM: Uh-oh, I think they’re stuck in a loop now. “Drink the female’s blood!” “Must….drink…female’s…blood…” “No, I won’t allow it!” “Fine, drink Spider-Man’s blood!” “Must….drink….Spider-Man’s….blood….” “No, I won’t allow it!” repeat ad nauseum
mist65May 20th, 2011 at 11:05 am [Reply]
MW – Let the fatal attraction storyline begin .
Personally the bitch was getting on my nerves from the get go , here’s hoping
Drew pushes her in front of a moving car . Needy condescending women need a good shove.
Luann – Then Tiffany looked over at the tampon dispenser and ran crying out of the bathroom
Mark Trail – What’s the point – the stories are as lame as ever.
Apt 3G- Would you mind holding the bouquet ? says Pauls mom . Of course not says Luann but would you mind holding this time bomb ,, runs away.
KinghasnoclothesMay 20th, 2011 at 11:06 am [Reply]
FW– Les to dead wife: “Oh woe is me. Hollywood wants to option my best-selling book.”
Dead Lisa: “Woe is you? I’m freaking DEAD! Woe that, you self-absorbed attention whore!”
Les to dead wife: “Please don’t interrupt me.”
May 20th, 2011 at 11:11 am [Reply]
MW-Drew get out of there Liza is already buying the ball gag, rope, and chloroform in her head.
MT-How many men are there in the Mark Trail world? First we get the cop that looks like the porn star version of Mark now we get the bearded man who looks like Mark. It looks like someone’s papa was a rolling stone.
Jake MorgendorfferMay 20th, 2011 at 11:13 am [Reply]
The gals in Apartment 3G’s constant flights from the prospects of marriage confound me. If this were the 1960s, as their clothes generally indicate, then, yes, I could understand why they would want to flee from that constraining institution, which would mean an end to their city living and professional ambitions. However, this is not supposed to be the 1960s, it’s modern times, when marriage doesn’t mean such an abrupt end to freedom for women. However, the character’s instance on DRESSING like it’s the 1960’s again confounds the issue. Women who dress like it’s the height of the Mad Men era in 2011 are generally very traditional. (Think Charlotte on Sex in the City.) In which case you would think they would be falling over themselves to nail a man down.
…aaand I’ve now officially given this more thought than the creators of A3G, so I will stop.
Scott BotMay 20th, 2011 at 11:14 am [Reply]
S-M – Ok, when did the story change from a Twilight ripoff to Wrestlemania?
DoodMay 20th, 2011 at 11:29 am [Reply]
Gasoline Alley is Pluggers without the anthropomorphism. Oh, wait.
Little GuyMay 20th, 2011 at 11:32 am [Reply]
@mist65 (#61): A $225 tampon dispenser? I didn’t know our public educational system had to order through DoD contractors?
UncleJeffMay 20th, 2011 at 11:40 am [Reply]
Arlo & Janis: I know I’ve posted in the past about how much I enjoy the humor in this strip — but check out the artwork today!
Especially the third panel of Janis sniffing the flowers.
Beautiful.
(and such a shame my local paper only does black & white reproduction of the strip because the color in the online version is terrific).
May 20th, 2011 at 11:48 am [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#65): And poor Spider-Man will go down in wrestling history as the only face to develop a loyal following of anti-fans soley devoted to cheering on his heels, not that Vince McMahon will care, so long as Peter’s spider-loathing keeps packing the house.
bats :[May 20th, 2011 at 11:54 am [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#269Y): good heavens, how can you possibly say that today is squee-deficient?!?
(Click on the image to bask in the full squeeeliciousness of it all!)
May 20th, 2011 at 11:55 am [Reply]
FC: Ha ha ha ha foolish melon-headed child there is no fighting the system
H&L: Wow, Lois is a freaking elitist about her coffee, huh? Like she really drinks it black. C,WAA.
And that’s all I got.
ElkMeadowMay 20th, 2011 at 11:57 am [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#y269):
today is squee deficient. :-(
Well, that sure broke the thread.
GregMay 20th, 2011 at 11:57 am [Reply]
My father once apologized to me for having taken me and my brothers to McDonald’s on Saturdays, back in the sixties.
Still waiting for the apology for having left my mom and us…
Baka GaijinMay 20th, 2011 at 11:58 am [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#Y242): “Baka Gaijin! Do NOT click on Friday’s Bizzaro!” Why? It’s a Happy Happy Joy Joy Clown Suicide strip. What’s not to love? If the missing second panel is Jumping Clown grabbing Whistle Clown and takes him out, too, I’d be happier than bb,u at the Evan Williams distillery.
Calvin's Cardboard BoxMay 20th, 2011 at 12:00 pm [Reply]
@Little Guy (#67):
DoD contractors would charge $2250 for the tampon dispenser. Federalism to the rescue, however! A DMV contractor will likely install the same dispenser for “only” $225.
Artist formerly known as BenMay 20th, 2011 at 12:03 pm [Reply]
Preemptive snarpologies, of course.
A3G: Come on, lady! “Superstitious” has four whole syllables. Do you really want to see clouds of smoke coming out Lu Ann’s ears as she tries to repeat it back?
Marvin: “Eeeewww Marvin!” was supposed to be the strip’s title, but no one could remember how to spell it.
RMMD: Plot twist coming! Cleaning Lady is in on the lottery ticket stealing conspiracy. Or she’s Sluggo Smith, grown-up and gender-reassigned. Or both and it’s a double twist!
GT: Hobart really needs to have a white cat on his lap, one that he can stroke while making evil pronouncements. “And then we won’t have any more trouble. Will we, Mr. Sniffles?”
S-M: Oh yeah, you can’t pass up a chance to join the vampire brotherhood. The travel discounts alone are worth draining a few superheroes.
6C: “It’s hard to find a balance, really. After all, it’s us all the way down.”
SFx: Easier way to draw a fat cat: trace an early Garfield. By the way, this is also the test for getting a job at Paws, Inc.
H&J: That Sappy Chick Flick was barely kept out of the top grossing spot by That Moronic 3D Movie.
SSmith: “… after I hit myself with it a few times.”
H&L: One of these days, Lois is going to run hairless and screaming out of a Starbucks. “Mochas? Lattes? Sheer madness!”
ElkMeadowMay 20th, 2011 at 12:03 pm [Reply]
My squee contribution:
The baby golden eagles are awake, preening and pooping!
http://www.goldeneaglecam.com/
pugfugglyMay 20th, 2011 at 12:03 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#65):
“…Ok, MJ is already ON THE MAT, it’s just up to Morbius to FINISH HER OFF, and…ok…hmmmm…ok, now he’s talking to Martine…talking….talking…..still talking….ok, I think he might be ready to…no, ok, they’re talking again…..and talking….WAIT!!! HERE’S SPIDERMAN COMING INTO THE RING TO SAVE MJ!!! MARTINE HITS HIM WITH THE LEAD PIPE AND…..ok, they’re going back to talking now…..hmmm…Morbius seems to be a bit reluctant to go on, but Martine is going to try to convince him….talking….talking…[yawns]…..talking…..WHOA, SPIDERMAN IS JUMPING OUT WIT HTE RING WITH MJ, MORBIUS PULLS THEM BACK IN AND….AND….ok, they’re going back talk so more…..jesus, let’s just go to commercial….”
UncleJeffMay 20th, 2011 at 12:15 pm [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#69): You mean the new star of “Spider-Man: The Musical” when it makes its triumphant return to Broadway will be John Cena???
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 20th, 2011 at 12:17 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#70): thank you very much, bats :[.
it was fun to have a fuzzy in the house again, even if the first thing in the morning piddle trips weren’t alot of fun. (darn grass is wet and cold in the morning when you are too sleepy to put shoes on!)
UncleJeffMay 20th, 2011 at 12:19 pm [Reply]
Deleted 3rd panel of 9CL
Seth: “…and then we bone like crazed feral monkeys.”
Francesca: “I’m OK with that.”
May 20th, 2011 at 12:19 pm [Reply]
Don’t overestimate Lu Ann’s intelligence. She simply wants to know what that three dollar word “superstitious” means.
Effluvius ErratusMay 20th, 2011 at 12:19 pm [Reply]
@pugfuggly (#78): And we’re back from commercial…Morbius and Martine have MJ in hand and are about to pin her…wait they’re arguing over who will bite her first. They don’t see Spidey climbing back into the ring. HE’s ON THE TOP ROPE AND HE’S ABOUT TO…what’s that? He’s got something in his hand. It appears to be a plain brown bag. IT MUST BE A WEAPON! HE’S OPENING THE BAG…It looks like some kind of…SANDWICH! And an iPod! Yup, Spidey seems content to sit on the top rope and watch a little Judge Judy with his corned beef sandwich. My, my, my! While Spidey’s having a snack, Morbius and Martine are making quite the snack of MJ. Okay…Spidey’s done eating and he’s puting away the iPod. He’s getting off the ropes…it looks like he’s back in this…he’s heading over the corner opposite Morb & Mar… COULD IT BE? YES! HE’S GETTING IN POSITION FOR A TRIPLE SPIDER-SAULT DOUBLE FLIP KICK, and—wait! NO! He’s laying down and curling up in the corner! Is he…? Yes, yes he is! HE’S TAKING A NAP!…
@UncleJeff (#79): Cena’s a face? I assumed he was a handsome heel!
TaggedMay 20th, 2011 at 12:23 pm [Reply]
Dilbert: Uh-oh, the PHB’s finally figured out our scam. Quick, grab the dough & let’s get the hell outta Dodge!!
pugfugglyMay 20th, 2011 at 12:24 pm [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#83): “This….this is the end of wrestling, folks…..a sad day, indeed…..”
Baka GaijinMay 20th, 2011 at 12:31 pm [Reply]
Rose is Rose: In 20 years, on a special episode of Jerry Springer, Jerry visits a shut in. The man is a prisoner of his own home, in his own 800-pound body, his hair an unkempt 3-foot tall shock of poofy red hair. And Clem is his name. Will Jerry be able to convince Auntie Rose to stop supplying Clem with tasty sweets? Tune in and find out.
MaryAnnTheRestMay 20th, 2011 at 12:32 pm [Reply]
A3G: I’m starting to catch Liza vibes from this Paul Linsky character. Next we’ll find out his mother is a wedding photographer and licensed to perform marriages. Before LuAnn figures out how she got from the reception to some other place, Paul will convince her they’re legally wed. Hijinks ensue when Margo breaks in wearing black and asking if she said “I do” before challenging Linsky to a knife fight “to the pain.” Meanwhile, Tommie stalks the Linsky castle, muttering, “My name is Tommie Thompson, you killed my personality, prepare to die.”
Walker of DogMay 20th, 2011 at 12:36 pm [Reply]
GT: “Excuse me, Sir, but I must ask that while you plot this teacher massacre, you keep your voice down. We here at Waffle Hut wish to maintain a certain level of decorum. Now, who needs a warm-up?”
A3G: A 13-letter word? Why even try.
Phan: The second consecutive strip with a typography failure. Beginning of a streak?
RMMD: Rex realizes that the cleaning lady knows too much and will have to be eliminated. Applying his vast medical knowledge, he accidentally gives her a shingles vaccination.
S-M: What about drinking a pigeon’s blood? Would that move things along?
MaryAnnTheRestMay 20th, 2011 at 12:41 pm [Reply]
@Kinghasnoclothes (#62): Yeah, what the hell? Believe me, if I met a dead person, I’d have a lot more to ask than “Should I take some money from Hollywood for a movie that will never get made?” I mean, where is Lisa when she’s not with Les? Do they have liquor there? And dogs? Can I hang out on a porch with a dog at my feet while I sip a margarita? The rapture is coming, Les, get some information already.
bats :[May 20th, 2011 at 12:42 pm [Reply]
@jayjaybear (#26): *applaz!* Author! Author!
@ElkMeadow (#77): cool! Marvin is just like a golden eagle baby.
Without the preening.
May 20th, 2011 at 12:43 pm [Reply]
S-M – Morbius is adding a new character to the vast spectrum of vampire literature – the Henpecked Vampire Husband.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 20th, 2011 at 12:46 pm [Reply]
as found linked on TDC, a WashPo article about CdS’s Richard Thompson.
good read, if a bit maudlin.
wossnameMay 20th, 2011 at 12:50 pm [Reply]
A3G – Little does Lu Ann know about the Linski family tradition of photographing the victims holding bouquets before chaining them in the cellar and beginning the “wedding” ceremony.
DT – Okaaaay… Flaky Biscuits runs ads promoting their 50-pound bags of flour? Whatever you say.
Baka GaijinMay 20th, 2011 at 12:51 pm [Reply]
Hagar the Horrible: Helga asking for cunnilingus. Ew.
Marvin: Jeff and Jenny, Google up “Anal Cauterization for Fun and Profit.” If ever that book needs to exist, it’s right now.
Apartment 3-G: What kind of twisted wedding cosplay are Paul and his “mother” are involved with?
Apartment 3-G, another thought: Will LuAnn find out what the term “beard” means? Tune in tomorrow to find out the answer to that and other burning questions on Apartment 3-G.
CrankenstankMay 20th, 2011 at 12:57 pm [Reply]
Now that we’re 142 years into the Gasoline Alley story line, with Walt Wallet and Skeezix hanging on to their thin threads of life (no doubt thanks to the infamous pact with Satan Walt struck), and we’re seeing the likes of Slim lasting into an unlikely third generation, I am wondering what this strip will be called when the internal combustion engine is no longer the means of propelling cars? “High Capacitance Electrical Storage Alley”? Or does the pact for immortality also extend to the fossil-fuel based economy? It would make sense that Walt might’ve penciled that clause in with his deal with the devil — it’s a twofer — Walt’s immortal soul, and the evil one also assures global warming will spread his dominion over the face of the earth as we literally choke on our own waste products.
Rocky StoneaxeMay 20th, 2011 at 1:00 pm [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#77):
The baby golden eagles are awake, preening and pooping!
As much as I want to watch them preen and poop, I’m not sure it’s worth getting into a fight with “Daddy”:
http://www.dialbforblog.com/archives/320/the_underground_world.gif
Puzzled in PeoriaMay 20th, 2011 at 1:02 pm [Reply]
@Crankenstank (#95): They’ll drop the “G” and add an additional “s” after the first “s” since methane may be the fuel of the future.
Stroker AceMay 20th, 2011 at 1:02 pm [Reply]
DtM – Alice responds: ‘Do whatever you want you little shit! The world is ending tomorrow. How about THAT?! HUH?!.’
Baka GaijinMay 20th, 2011 at 1:04 pm [Reply]
Mary Worth: Any second now, Liza will raise her nose to the air and say, “What’s that smell? It’s not me. I used my Masengill this morning,” as Mary toddles up with a plate of fragrant salmon squares (see Marvin, 5/20/2011).
odinthorMay 20th, 2011 at 1:06 pm [Reply]
Baldo. — Wow, it must be awfully late, as he’s putting away the dinner dishes—maybe as late as 8 PM or even 9!
#50. Mustang. — Isn’t that about wedding bouquets basically the same thing that’s behind the tradition of flowers at interments? Thus we see that, essentially, a wedding is the same thing as a burial.
Effluvius ErratusMay 20th, 2011 at 1:06 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#91):
Set in darkness. Scurrying sound of squeeking rats. Crash against crypt door. MARTINE’S laughter heard. Crypt door opens, torches flicker, rats scatter. MARTINE enters, followed by MORBIUS.
MARTINE: Vlad…
MORBIUS: Shhhhhhh…
MARTINE: ?epe? the Third.
MORBIUS: For Satan’s sake, Martine, it’s five o’clock in the…
MARTINE: Oh, Morb!
MORBIUS: Well, I’m sorry but…
MARTINE: What a cluck! What a cluck you are.
MORBIUS: It’s late…er, early, you know. Early in the morning?
MARTINE (looks around the room; imitates Elvira): Rats. Rats. Rats! Thousands! Millions of them! Hey, what’s that from? “Rats. Rats. Rats!”
MORBIUS: How would I know what…
MARTINE: Aw, come on! What’s it from? You know…
MORBIUS: …Martine…
MARTINE: WHAT’S IT FROM, FOR SATAN’S SAKE?
May 20th, 2011 at 1:07 pm [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#101): ?epe? = Tepes … the preview showed the Romanian characters properly. Why not the post itself?
LiamMay 20th, 2011 at 1:09 pm [Reply]
Love Is…the feeling that one should register as a sex offender just for reading “Love Is”
Effluvius ErratusMay 20th, 2011 at 1:13 pm [Reply]
@Liam (#103): A guy in our office kitchenette was going through all the cabinets today, searching in vain for clean mug because the only other one he could find had a “Love Is…” cartoon on it. I want to know what kind of fick suck thinks “Love Is…” is an appropriate dishware decoration.
KatyMay 20th, 2011 at 1:17 pm [Reply]
I check on Spider-Man about once a week. They’re still lurching around the roof. Shit, Charterstone pool parties don’t go on this long.
KatyMay 20th, 2011 at 1:19 pm [Reply]
@Liam (#103): Thank you so much for articulating that about the Love Is … comics. They have always creeped me out, but I never could put my finger on why.
“Put my finger on”! See what I did there?
Scott BotMay 20th, 2011 at 1:24 pm [Reply]
@Liam (#103): Ok, that’s my nomination for COTW!
Ned RyersonMay 20th, 2011 at 1:25 pm [Reply]
Love Is…I can’t remember if I ever posted this here, it’s so random and trivial, but the original film The In Laws has a wedding sequence which opens with a shot of a wedding cake topped with a Love Is… themed bride and groom. It’s one of those things that I see that makes me think 99.999% of the world would gloss over this, but a small cadre of readers/posters would probably think “hey look at those little naked twerps on the wedding cake, omg I just read a piece of hilarious speculative fiction or other humourus quip about them on the CC the other day!”
In the words of the great George Carlin, “these are the kind of thoughts that kept me out of the good schools.”
Joe, the Upper-Evergreen GuyMay 20th, 2011 at 1:32 pm [Reply]
Luann: Next week the mirror will get broken so Greg can futher humiliate Tiffany, i.e. “The girl who rejected him in high school”.
Funk the Stupid Bean: “You’re right, Leese. I’m already working on a second book: ‘The Toying of Cayla and Susan’!”
MW: “Uh, sorry, but I have to go back to the Far East tomorrow……permanently!”
Fringed Western ShirtsMay 20th, 2011 at 1:34 pm [Reply]
Hey, we may be spam, but you know who buys from us? John Fucking Thrasher, that’s who!
Effluvius ErratusMay 20th, 2011 at 1:35 pm [Reply]
I’d be able to stomach Love Is… if instead of naked, sexless children, they were naked, sexless goons from Popeye. Heck, I’d probably even enjoy the reformatted Love Isk…
DoodMay 20th, 2011 at 1:35 pm [Reply]
@Crankenstank (#95): It’ll become E85 Alley for a while.
A New DayMay 20th, 2011 at 1:39 pm [Reply]
FW: Les’s storyline is strong evidence that Judgment Day is upon us, as the unjust rewards just keep on rolling in. Over the next few years, I expect a feedback loop in which his increasingly whiny and dickish behavior brings ever stronger rewards from the Beast. Ministers preaching the Rapture should hold up copies of this strip in the pulpit: “Do you want to be Left Behind when this guy is given dominion over the earth? Huh, do you?”
DoodMay 20th, 2011 at 1:41 pm [Reply]
@Crankenstank (#95): Or the strip could re-brand with sponsorship and become Chevron with Techron Alley.
Steve the PocketMay 20th, 2011 at 1:46 pm [Reply]
Funky Winkerbean: “Well, you could require that they let you on the staff as a creative consultant…” “What, you mean work?”
Herb and Jamaal: Rerun, and Josh has already commented on it.
Mother Goose and Grimm: “Gee, it’s cold out here in the park, let’s hug.” That has to be the worst come-on line I’ve ever heard. Including the ones that were meant to be jokes.
Pluggers: Old people who are oblivious to the march of time write jokes about the people like that they knew when they were kids; desperate cartoonist commits them to paper because nobody else will bother to write in.
I know we Curmudgeonites had a thing going for a while where we would send ideas to They’ll Do It Every Time, but didn’t some of us also write in to Pluggers once in a while? If not, we may need to start.
twgMay 20th, 2011 at 1:48 pm [Reply]
I guess Luann just saw a double rainbow or something.
McManxMay 20th, 2011 at 1:49 pm [Reply]
@teenchy (#53): OMG you are correct. Don’t tell me that “Archie” has gone topical after all these years of blissful irrelevance.
Puzzled in PeoriaMay 20th, 2011 at 1:50 pm [Reply]
This just in. Tomorrow will not be the rapture. A word was misspoken and it will actually be “the rupture.” Stay tooned to Crankshaft for more details.
DoodMay 20th, 2011 at 1:51 pm [Reply]
DtM: Is Alice Mitchell even listening to her son, or is she wondering, “Did I put pants on this morning? OMG!”
Scott BotMay 20th, 2011 at 1:55 pm [Reply]
@Steve the Pocket (#115): I know we Curmudgeonites had a thing going for a while where we would send ideas to They’ll Do It Every Time, but didn’t some of us also write in to Pluggers once in a while? If not, we may need to start.
I’ve thought about doing that, if anything because I married into a family of Pluggers, and all I have to do is go visit them for an hour or two to get a week’s worth of strips.
cheech wizardMay 20th, 2011 at 2:00 pm [Reply]
Archie -Unfortunately, Chekov’s bikini will not reappear in the Third Act, I’m afraid. Pity.
DT – “I’ve found some crack cocaine! Screw work – it’s Friday afternoon! Get over here!”
FC – “But late at night, when you and Daddy are in bed, I hear you yelling it all the time.”
Artist formerly known as BenMay 20th, 2011 at 2:01 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#91):
S-M – Morbius is adding a new character to the vast spectrum of vampire literature – the Henpecked Vampire Husband.
I’m pretty sure that was a Lenny Bruce routine (one of the five or six that was actually funny) half a century ago.
cheech wizardMay 20th, 2011 at 2:04 pm [Reply]
Pluggers – So are Pluggers simply out-of-date, or are they seriously hip audiophiles? The tiny chick with the big knockers in Wapsi Square recently ordered a whole case of Cold War-era Soviet vacuum tubes for use in her analog audio system – apparently, it’s the big thing for serious music types.
Puzzled in PeoriaMay 20th, 2011 at 2:06 pm [Reply]
@cheech wizard (#123): Some people still use analog because they’re scared chipless of digital.
KatyMay 20th, 2011 at 2:07 pm [Reply]
FW: Les does realize, doesn’t he, that being optioned by Hollywood is not a guarantee that they’ll make the movie? That, in fact, it’s only a guarantee that you can’t vend the manuscript to anyone else?
Batiuk honestly does not realize how things work, does he? I wonder if he knows LuAnn.
wossnameMay 20th, 2011 at 2:08 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#120): Kanomi, an infrequent but very funny poster, actually got published in Pluggers within the past year.
DoodMay 20th, 2011 at 2:10 pm [Reply]
At what age do Plugger pups get their tails docked? Who does it? Their chicken moms? You’d think they’d be squeamish around cleavers and things.
Scott BotMay 20th, 2011 at 2:13 pm [Reply]
@wossname (#126): That’s great!
I wonder if they’d publish something from me, a frequent but not very funny poster?
Fashion PoliceMay 20th, 2011 at 2:21 pm [Reply]
@jayjaybear (#26):
All of the A3G ladies have closets full of the original vintage stuff. After all, they wore it all when it was fashionable the FIRST time!
We respectfully – and vigorously – disagree! There is nothing “vintage” about the Apartment 3-G ladies’ wardrobes. What they’re wearing now would have been just as sad in 1962. It all looks like it came from the bargain basement of the Nondescript Warehouse, Inc. outlet store. They would be far more chic, even today, in their 1960s clothes.
Rocky StoneaxeMay 20th, 2011 at 2:25 pm [Reply]
@Liam (#103), @Katy (#106):
Love is… doesn’t creep me out the way this does:
http://trentseibert.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/zits1.gif?w=500&h=158
Scott BotMay 20th, 2011 at 2:32 pm [Reply]
@Dood (#127): I think they do it a couple days after they’re born – kind of a Plugger version of a circumcision.
Francisco ArrowrootMay 20th, 2011 at 2:33 pm [Reply]
It’s no surprise that Paul’s mom is so eager to take pictures of he and Lu Ann. The only women he ever seems to hang out with are too fat and frumpy for him. Oh, and those unusually tall women that came by to pick him up for ‘glam night,’ whatever that is.
MarsMay 20th, 2011 at 2:40 pm [Reply]
His name is “Rover.” His wife’s name is “Hoogy.” And they named their kid “Boog.”
Does Gasoline Alley take place in prehistoric times, or…what?
MarsMay 20th, 2011 at 2:42 pm [Reply]
And yes, I’m aware that it takes place in a car repair shop. Maybe there are little birds in there working the gears and saying “it’s a living.”
Baka GaijinMay 20th, 2011 at 2:45 pm [Reply]
@cheech wizard (#121): Damned Chekov’s Bikini!
TheDivaMay 20th, 2011 at 2:46 pm [Reply]
@Katy (#125): Of course Les doesn’t know that. Les is convinced that Lisa’s Story: The Movie (starring Colin Firth and Natalie Portman) is all ready to start shooting and has a prime holiday season Oscar-bait release date lined up, and only his magnanimous consent is required to start the cameras rolling. And the sad thing is that, given the way things have been going in Funkytown lately, he’s probably right.
MapDarkMay 20th, 2011 at 2:46 pm [Reply]
Geez , Liza ! I know denial feels good sometimes but you’re really nearing Fatal Attraction levels there.
Rocky StoneaxeMay 20th, 2011 at 2:50 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#2):
More Weird Sound Effects:
Sherman’s Lagoon — WHAM!
Close to Home — SPLAT! SKISH!
Buckles — BARK BARK BARK BARK
Dogs of C-Kennel:
http://www.gocomics.com/dogsofckennel
commodorejohnMay 20th, 2011 at 2:51 pm [Reply]
A3G – Why do I get the feeling this is going to end with Luann being stuffed and mounted in Mama Linski’s basement lair? (Bigger question: will anybody notice the difference?)
Crock – Hold on there, Crock! There’s only room for one Compu-Toon in the funny pages!
DT – “Crack cocaine? Hot damn! We’ll be right over!”
FW – Hey, look at that! Even Les’s dead wife is less anal-retentive and neurotic than him.
GT – Yes! Yes, Hobart! Rock that Kubrick stare!
MT – Okay, let me see if writing this out will help me make sense of it:
1. Mark is pushed in the pit.
2. Mark calls to John Thrasher, who responds specifically by that name.
3. Andy barks at the sinister hairy figure.
4. Beardy Man says that this…helps keep him alive?
5. Hilariously stilted dialogue implying that either John Thrasher is not the mountain man, or Beardy Man is not John Thrasher…?
6. Beardy Man thinks that after responding to the name John Thrasher, he can convince Mark that he is not…AUGH WHAT!?
Nope, still confused as all hell. At least Andy knew what to do.
MW – I’m just going to go hide under the bed until this storyline is over, okay?
Peanuts – Ohhhh. Even in reruns, this strip’s still got it. Oof.
Phantom – Panel two is just completely awesome, yet I don’t know exactly why.
RMMD – And then the cleaning lady, displaying more brainpower than all the other characters in this storyline combined, steals the ticket herself, cashes it in, and flees to a sunny tropical nation. Okay, probably not, but it would be immensely more satisfying than Berna and Dex getting it.
SM -Aaaaaand once again Mary-Jane proves to be infinitely more heroic than her shlub of a husband.
PoteetMay 20th, 2011 at 2:52 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#8): Good lord, has Fringe really been in the mountains for two years?? Now I wonder just how many pits he’s dug.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 20th, 2011 at 2:56 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#138): was thinking that was the wolf from AD there for a minute, then remembered who does that K9 strip.
@Francisco Arrowroot (#132): that has float potential.
Peanut GalleryMay 20th, 2011 at 2:57 pm [Reply]
FC – I actually laughed at this one. It was only slightly marred by the kid’s head being on backwards.
Pluggers – A Plugger’s radio is a rock.
Peanut GalleryMay 20th, 2011 at 3:01 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#15): I think there was a Mad Magazine parody of Columbo in which the suspect committed suicide just to get away from him.
@Old School Allie Cat (#39):
Liza’s “Says you!” in the last panel is the new “Christ, what an asshole!”
Says you!
(Hey, you’re right! It is fun.)
May 20th, 2011 at 3:17 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#139):
MW – I’m just going to go hide under the bed…
Better not. Liza’s probably already there.
NeigedensMay 20th, 2011 at 3:18 pm [Reply]
I don’t know how, but Mrs. Linski somehow manages to look even more like an 1850s schoolmarm than every other female character in A3G does every day.
ScienceGiantMay 20th, 2011 at 3:29 pm [Reply]
@Puzzled in Peoria (#97): Yeah, yeah. And with “bitch” drop the “t” because bich is Latin for “generosity.”
Seriously, you just watch: in a few years, Gasoline Alley is joing to be a Savage Reservation for castes of the World State to visit.
carbunicleMay 20th, 2011 at 3:29 pm [Reply]
@LUJBEM FEJF (#25): Win!
Effluvius ErratusMay 20th, 2011 at 3:34 pm [Reply]
@Francisco Arrowroot (#132): Tomorrow’s strip…
Tommie (about to bathroom, bobbles violently): Good lord, Lu Ann! What are you doing?
Lu Ann: I’m giving myself electrolysis!
Tommie: What on earth for?
Lu Ann: Paul told me I’m his beard!
Margo: I KNEW IT!
Lu Ann: How come I see you in the mirror?
(bobbles all around)
May 20th, 2011 at 3:37 pm [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#148): Arghh! “How come I DIDN’T see you in the mirror?”
LawyerbobMay 20th, 2011 at 3:38 pm [Reply]
A3G: Maybe it’s because I’m reading “Throne of Kings”, but don’t Paul and his mom look like the boy king and his evil mother Ceirse? This means, I hope, that the flowers are part of an elaborate evil scheme that will culminate in Luann’s beheading.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 20th, 2011 at 3:43 pm [Reply]
I don’t remember Norm having a sibling. But it’s a mighty cute pair nonetheless!
otterly amused.
nothing cuter than a pile of lab pups!
Bill ThompsonMay 20th, 2011 at 3:47 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#91): The Henpecked Vampire Husband has been done. “Castle of Dracula,” from the early Sixties, with John Carradine reduced to playing the butler of the ineffective Count and his whiny wife. At the end the two vampires are tied in chairs and as the sun begins to rise Mrs. D. tells her husband, “Honey, do soimething!” Which may mean that Martine will turn both Spiderman and MJ, then cast a spell that sends them back in time.
JessyMay 20th, 2011 at 3:51 pm [Reply]
A3G: If we are heading toward LuAnn-Paul nuptials, I think genetic testing is advisable as soon as possible. They appear to be brother and sister, and I’m afraid there’s room for just one Hootin’ Holler on the comics pages.
Pseudo3DMay 20th, 2011 at 4:00 pm [Reply]
@McManx (#43): /shrug
Maybe they’re talking about some 1980s downturn. After all, the “Veronica working out in a leotard” strip was almost certainly from the 1980s. A rerun, possibly.
LiamMay 20th, 2011 at 4:05 pm [Reply]
MT-That’s not John Thrasher that is Bizarro Mark Trail.
This GuyMay 20th, 2011 at 4:08 pm [Reply]
JP: This reminds me–I seem to recall that when I was a kid, I almost never had to spell my first name for people. Now I almost always do. What changed?
Marvin: Just who in the hell is the target audience for this strip? Nobody but nobody could sympathize with this little shit factory. Babies are illiterate, but even if they could read, they’d look down on Marvin. “Oh,” you might say, “but comedy protagonists needn’t be sympathetic.” Sure. You’ve got the Bluth family, the cast of Seinfeld, Larry David… but Larry David doesn’t spend 90% of his time talking about how awesome it is that he shits his pants. Is this strip actually Big Brother testing a prototype for the Two Minutes’ Hate?
@cheech wizard (#123): I’ve never understood the audiophile fetish for difficult formats. Maybe they took to heart the old saw that nothing worth having is easy to get, so they figure that if experiencing music becomes a baffling, nightmarish ordeal, then it sounds better!
Dr. WeirdMay 20th, 2011 at 4:23 pm [Reply]
@This Guy (#156):
“Listening to the equipment instead of listening to the music” is the way I’ve heard it put, along with “a warmer sound…” Ignoring the fact that audio engineers work hard to eliminate extraneous machine noises.
@Steve the Pocket (#115):
“Well, you could require that they let you on the staff as a creative consultant…” “What, you mean work?”
Speaking of work, the money from his book being optioned is probably a few years of teaching salary for Les. Will he continue to work at Montoni’s to supplement his income, or use the money as a pad to he can spend more of his non-teaching time actually writing? Probably not… besides, he’s mined out the dead talk show host and the dead wife, so what else does he know? Unless it’s about that veteran from the “forgotten” war he works with… oh oh.
nescioMay 20th, 2011 at 4:24 pm [Reply]
Popeye: Anyone else think “Oid” is short for “Dildoid?”
LiamMay 20th, 2011 at 4:25 pm [Reply]
@Katy (#106):
Just as long as it wasn’t a naked eight year old you put your finger on.
Scott BotMay 20th, 2011 at 4:26 pm [Reply]
@cheech wizard (#123): I thought about that, but I don’t think Pluggers have this in mind when they use their old Zenith AM radio to tune in Rush Limbaugh.
RoktoberMay 20th, 2011 at 4:30 pm [Reply]
Maybe Paul’s mom isn’t referring some superstition involving bouquets. Maybe she just knows Luann is dumb and is worried she will think the camera will steal her soul.
KarMannMay 20th, 2011 at 4:31 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#139) on A3G: Why do I get the feeling this is going to end with Luann being stuffed and mounted in Mama Linski’s basement lair? (Bigger question: will anybody notice the difference?)
Yes, indeed. It would be the first time LuAnn’s been mounted yet! [*]
LiamMay 20th, 2011 at 4:33 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#107):
Thanks.
KarMannMay 20th, 2011 at 4:43 pm [Reply]
@This Guy (#156): What, they couldn’t even spell “This”???
cheech wizardMay 20th, 2011 at 4:49 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#160): True dat.
Fashion PoliceMay 20th, 2011 at 4:51 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#139) said:
Phantom – Panel two is just completely awesome, yet I don’t know exactly why.
Perhaps because our 13-year-old brat has such an admirable sense of decorum that he wears his prep-school uniform even in his imagination, and even though he is now at university, where such customs are invariably honoured in the breach. We have every expectation that he will matriculate into a life of stached collars and striped trousers, and eventually overthrow the regime of President-for-Life Lamanda Luaga.
Alfred E. NeumanMay 20th, 2011 at 4:51 pm [Reply]
Pardon My Planet— Today’s strip reminds me of an ancient MAD Magazine joke: A police officer tells a guy he is arresting, “Anything you say may be held against you.” The guy responds, “Marilyn Monroe, Elizabeth Taylor, Brigitte Bardot…”
They don’t write ‘em like that any more.[*]
May 20th, 2011 at 4:51 pm [Reply]
@This Guy (#156):
JP: This reminds me–I seem to recall that when I was a kid, I almost never had to spell my first name for people. Now I almost always do. What changed?
I thought the spelling of “This” was common knowledge.
Fashion PoliceMay 20th, 2011 at 4:55 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#140):
We suspect he makes periodic visits to town to visit Mrs. Cherry Trail’s hairdresser.
May 20th, 2011 at 4:57 pm [Reply]
@KarMann (#164): @Artist formerly known as Ben (#168): Well, a lot of parents are changing the spelling of names to make it more ‘unique.’ There are probably some out there that spell it ‘Thys.’
Lu AnnMay 20th, 2011 at 5:01 pm [Reply]
@This Guy (#156): “This.” Only one “L.”
Fashion PoliceMay 20th, 2011 at 5:11 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#170):
Or ‘Btfsplk.’
May 20th, 2011 at 5:13 pm [Reply]
@Fashion Police (#172): Or ‘Kal-El.’
blackgoatMay 20th, 2011 at 5:19 pm [Reply]
MT: (Nice mullet, Fringe-man) Can someone please explain how Andy got out of the hole ? And how John Thrasher obtained that nifty Range Rider shirt ?
FW: Maybe, if Les if lucky, a great scriptwriter can upgrade his perfectly awful book into a moderately awful screenplay.
Rocky StoneaxeMay 20th, 2011 at 5:20 pm [Reply]
@pugfuggly (#22):
What fast food joint are Denis and Mom eating at anyhow? From the logo on the drinks, I might guess ‘Kidney Burger’.
Kidney Burger… where employees cheerfully ask: “D’you want steak and kidney pie with that, guv’nor?”
CalicoMay 20th, 2011 at 5:28 pm [Reply]
@This Guy (#156):
I know, my first name is actually Lisa (last name not Moore, thank Jesus) and I always get the “Linda Evans” Freudian Slip, even from Québecers. Go figure.
Figure it out, people! I wish I had her bank account, but for Pete’s sake already!
May 20th, 2011 at 5:29 pm [Reply]
@Alfred E. Neuman (#167): Today’s strip reminds me of an ancient MAD Magazine joke…
The joke you give is from MAD Comics. You, of all people, should know that!
May 20th, 2011 at 5:35 pm [Reply]
Today’s Dennis takes me back to when DtM was a paid shill for Dairy Queen:
http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5141/5600203503_dea9312a8a.jpg
pugfugglyMay 20th, 2011 at 5:53 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#175): No! No steak. No pie. Just kidneys, baby.
Maybe you remember their catchy little jingle:
“Two kidneys…………………………………………………………on a sesame seed bun.”
Kidney Burger: you’ll have it OUR way, damn it!
Alfred E. NeumanMay 20th, 2011 at 6:03 pm [Reply]
@Steve the Pocket (#115): @Scott Bot (#120): @wossname (#126): OK, you guys have inspired me to submit my first Pluggers entry. I sent if off a few minutes ago. However, I’m now conflicted. Should I ask you guys to pray that it gets published, or pray that it doesn’t get published? On the other hand, maybe you should pray for my mental health, since I was obviously sick enough to submit something in the first place.
CalicoMay 20th, 2011 at 6:07 pm [Reply]
@pugfuggly (#179):
Or else, beware the further wrath of Liza, who is about to De-kidney Drew.
May 20th, 2011 at 6:17 pm [Reply]
@Calico (#181): poor Drew, waking up in the bathtub full of ice. . . .
wossnameMay 20th, 2011 at 6:21 pm [Reply]
@Alfred E. Neuman (#180): Oh, you/we should absolutely pray that it gets published! You’d be a source of pride and joy to all of us. Ha – take that, Reed Hoover!
What name did you use? I think they might be a little suspicious of Alfred E. Neuman. But how will we know when your moment of glory arrives?
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 20th, 2011 at 6:27 pm [Reply]
snap into a SlimJim in memory of the Macho Man.
RIP.
The RidgerMay 20th, 2011 at 6:32 pm [Reply]
@Katy (#125): Les clearly doesn’t know this. Whether Batiuk does or not is hard to tell. I guess it depends on whether you think he’s willing to make his Gary Sue into an idiot or not… So I guess, nope.
This GuyMay 20th, 2011 at 6:36 pm [Reply]
@KarMann (#164):
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#168):
@Lu Ann (#171):
I do love this crowd. Should’ve seen that one (those ones?) coming. Maybe it could be spelled Middle-English fashion, which would lead to dozens of variants.
May 20th, 2011 at 6:41 pm [Reply]
DtM: OK, you’re the artist for DtM, and in today’s installment you know you have to draw Alice in profile as she looks gently upon her pint sized messenger of meh; so what do you do? How do you start? I know! Draw a toaster first and then humanize it with a vague wad of lines meant to depict “hair” and slap a half-assed attempt at a face (with a nose that could poke a hole through a sheet of tin) and voila! You, sir, are a comic book “artist”!
The other thing that strikes me is that Dennis vaguely resembles Crankshaft. So he’s gonna die soon. And what’s with the smiling fast food workers in the background? Did someone just slip on a banana peel?
Stroker AceMay 20th, 2011 at 6:42 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#184): Godspeed Randy Savage! Oddly enough today ConAgra closed its Slim Jim plant in Garner,NC.
Écureuil ÉcumantMay 20th, 2011 at 6:44 pm [Reply]
@pugfuggly (#179): Still, it’s better than MW with their fish and finger pies.
The RidgerMay 20th, 2011 at 6:44 pm [Reply]
MT: I think the line about Andy was a veiled threat – as in, if Mark hadn’t told him to calm down and he’d attacked Mysterious Mountain Man, then MMM would have killed Andy. And this leads me to believe that MMM can’t be My Son John, because MSJ is a hero suffering from trauma and being framed for crimes by the Clean Cut Kids, and heroes never kill dogs. (Besides, if MSJ was the lurking in the night, he seemed to have brown hair and a lot more of it – even though Elrod is trying to do long hair on this guy.)
So, given that these woods seem full of bikers and weirdos, one has to wonder just how isolated MSJ really wanted to be. Couldn’t he have found a place a little farther away from it all?
Alfred E. NeumanMay 20th, 2011 at 6:48 pm [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#177) said: “@Alfred E. Neuman (#167): Today’s strip reminds me of an ancient MAD Magazine joke…
The joke you give is from MAD Comics. You, of all people, should know that!”
MAD switched from a comic book format to a magazine format in July of 1955. I didn’t start reading MAD until 1956, so I assumed I read it in the magazine version. Of course, I might have read it in one of the comics reprints, but I simply couldn’t remember after 50+ years.
Unfortunately, when I started college, I gave my pristine collection of MAD stuff to the little brother of a friend of mine. Nearly 40 years later at his family reunion, I asked him if he had kept it, but he ruefully admitted that he hadn’t. We had to commiserate over the loss of this treasure with multiple refreshing beverages.
pugfugglyMay 20th, 2011 at 6:49 pm [Reply]
@Écureuil Écumant (#189):
…..wait, what? I must have missed that….
Alfred E. NeumanMay 20th, 2011 at 7:04 pm [Reply]
@wossname (#183) Re: My Pluggers entry— I had to use my actual name because my email places my actual name into the recipient’s “From” field. I guess I could have created a fictitiously named email account using, say, “Melvin Cowznofski”, but I’m too lazy. I’ll post here if it hits.
Rocky StoneaxeMay 20th, 2011 at 7:10 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#184):
snap into a SlimJim in memory of the Macho Man.
RIP.
More on the Macho Man’s sad demise:
http://www.tampabay.com/news/publicsafety/accidents/article1170774.ece
PoteetMay 20th, 2011 at 7:18 pm [Reply]
@Fashion Police (#169): Thanks! That explains why his hair and beard changed color after the first time we saw him.
Red GreenbackMay 20th, 2011 at 7:24 pm [Reply]
DtheM: I see by the cow-flop logo that you are a cowboy this burger joint prides themselves on their extremely fast food. Why does the burger jockey on the left have a large “C” tattooed on the back of his head? “Crips”? “Cook”? “Coincidental Dennis the Menace background character”?
PoteetMay 20th, 2011 at 7:25 pm [Reply]
GA — There are other strips with characters I dislike, but this is the strip where their eyes and names are an affront to human sanity.
Red GreenbackMay 20th, 2011 at 7:42 pm [Reply]
@Alfred E. Neuman (#193): You should have submitted your entry using the fake name “Cane Electrolux”.
Spiny NormanMay 20th, 2011 at 7:43 pm [Reply]
GT: Noooooo! The Big Foam Sports #1 hand has achieved sentience and the ability to purchase caffeinated beverages. NONE OF US ARE SAFE.
zerowolfMay 20th, 2011 at 7:44 pm [Reply]
FW: If they make it into a perfectly awful movie, then it will be the first time Hollywood stayed absolutely true to the book
zerowolfMay 20th, 2011 at 7:45 pm [Reply]
MT: Andy knows the score. See beard, sic balls.
Jamus The BartenderMay 20th, 2011 at 7:52 pm [Reply]
Family Circus: You can use it in Al Swearngen from Deadwood’s house, Jeffy. I can’t think of a word they haven’t used on that show.
zerowolfMay 20th, 2011 at 7:54 pm [Reply]
FC: Unfortunately there are two other words not used in the Keane house: birth control.
ElkMeadowMay 20th, 2011 at 8:01 pm [Reply]
I think Tony’s having a better time at the club than we are. This story has been going on for 12 hours strip time, four months ours.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 20th, 2011 at 8:04 pm [Reply]
@zerowolf (#203): the Keanes could always take a lesson from Love Is. . . . (rather naughty)
Jamus The BartenderMay 20th, 2011 at 8:10 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#184): I met him and Miss Elizabeth back in 1987, got their autographs. They seemed like good people. He will be missed.
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 20th, 2011 at 8:11 pm [Reply]
@Alfred E. Neuman (#191): It’s reprinted in one of the first five MAD paperbacks. I would never, under any conceivable circumstances, get rid of those. In fact (reaches over) it was three feet away all the time: Inside MAD. Along with Executive’s Comic Book, those first five represent some of the most mind-warping, powerful, concentrated draught of sheer conceptual brilliance in comics ever put on paper. The complete reprint set of the comics is great as well, but most of the best stuff seems to be in those paperbacks (“Bringing Back Father” and “Julius Caesar” excepted).
I probably started reading it ten years after you, so it’s fresher in my mind. Plus, it was my religion.
Rocky StoneaxeMay 20th, 2011 at 8:15 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#197):
GA — There are other strips with characters I dislike, but this is the strip where their eyes and names are an affront to human sanity.
To keep things in perspective, Bill Holman’s Smokey Stover had Smokey, the “foolish foo (fire)fighter” and his two-wheeled “Foomobile”. SS also featured “Cash U. Nutt” (the Fire Chief and Smokey’s boss), the chief’s wife “Hazel Nutt” and “Sparks”, the firehouse Dalmatian mascot. Smokey’s eccentric relatives included “Uncle Potbelly Stover”, “Rusty Stover”, “Cousin Cole Stover”, etc. Are those names really any worse than what you see in Gasoline Alley? (And don’t get me started on Popeye…)
(Most of this is cribbed from Wikipedia’s entry on SS!)
zerowolfMay 20th, 2011 at 8:17 pm [Reply]
So in the logic of Gil Thorpe…. I can’t believe I just wrote that.
zerowolfMay 20th, 2011 at 8:19 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#205): ROFLMAO.
zerowolfMay 20th, 2011 at 8:29 pm [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#149): Actually “How come I see you in the mirror?” is a plausable question from Lu Ann. Considering Lu Ann doesn’t know what superstitious means, it’s quite possible she wouldnt know a mirror could actually show two people’s reflections at the same time.
Alfred E. NeumanMay 20th, 2011 at 8:29 pm [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#207): I gave my magazines and reprints to the kid brother in 1961 or ‘62. Who knew? All I can say in retrospect, is that I made a Furshlugginer Mess of it!
zerowolfMay 20th, 2011 at 8:32 pm [Reply]
@Liam (#63): Buying in her mind? Nah, I’m pretty sure Liza is equiped for all occasions.
Jamus The BartenderMay 20th, 2011 at 8:33 pm [Reply]
@Alfred E. Neuman (#212): By the way, how is your brother, Al?
gnome de blogMay 20th, 2011 at 8:36 pm [Reply]
@Alfred E. Neuman (#180) said:
OK, you guys have inspired me to submit my first Pluggers entry. I sent if off a few minutes ago. However, I’m now conflicted. Should I ask you guys to pray that it gets published, or pray that it doesn’t get published? On the other hand, maybe you should pray for my mental health, since I was obviously sick enough to submit something in the first place.
What, me worry?
kaleidicMay 20th, 2011 at 8:39 pm [Reply]
@MaryAnnTheRest (#87): Not “The Princess Bride”, but “Way Down East” [silent, Lillian Gish is a naive country mouse who is tricked into a fake marriage by a slick seducer]
gnome de blogMay 20th, 2011 at 8:39 pm [Reply]
When you consider that it’s a hell of a lot easier to make a decent movied out of a bad book than a good book (good books are too complicated and nuanced), a movie made from Les’ book ought to wow the critics.
Alfred E. NeumanMay 20th, 2011 at 8:48 pm [Reply]
@Red Greenback (#198) said: “@Alfred E. Neuman (#193): You should have submitted your entry using the fake name “Cane Electrolux”.
Are you implying that Pluggers sucks?
Alfred E. NeumanMay 20th, 2011 at 9:00 pm [Reply]
@Jamus The Bartender (#214) asked: “@Alfred E. Neuman (#212): By the way, how is your brother, Al?”
He was actually the kid brother of one of my childhood friends. It’s been about 10 years since I last saw him. I should have been clearer about that in my comment to [Old Man] Muffaroo.
Words to the wise: If you own anything that is comics related, don’t ever throw/give it away!
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 20th, 2011 at 9:08 pm [Reply]
@Alfred E. Neuman (#219): If you own anything that is comics related, don’t ever throw/give it away!
In my younger days, I was able to scrape and buy a fairly decent number of packs of gum with Batman cards in them. As it happened, this younger kid I knew was fiercely into Batman, so I thought he’d appreciate them even more than me, and I gave them to him. The next time I saw him, he’d forgotten Batman existed and had lost the cards, or buried them, or something. It was a teachable moment. I almost learned something, though the lesson didn’t take for some time.
Anyway, fingers crossed on the Pluggers gig!
Peanut GalleryMay 20th, 2011 at 9:11 pm [Reply]
@Alfred E. Neuman (#193): Wait, I thought we were all supposed to be making our Pluggers submissions under the pseudonym “Reed Hoover of Dallas, Texas”. Isn’t everyone doing that? ;-)
KinghasnoclothesMay 20th, 2011 at 9:30 pm [Reply]
FW: What a pitiful fantasy this is. Les is a wimpy, self-absorbed, whiny, needy turd. Naturally women are drawn to him like ants to a spat out piece of candy in a gutter.
I predict the leading lady of the Lisa’s Story film will fall for him when they are in Cannes to accept the Palme d’Or.
His dead wife should leave him.
May 20th, 2011 at 9:52 pm [Reply]
@Red Greenback (#196): I believe the “C” is his right ear. Of course, if it is, he has no nose. Sad.
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 20th, 2011 at 9:59 pm [Reply]
@coachusa outlet (#223): SPAMMMMMMMM.
New York in a boxMay 20th, 2011 at 10:02 pm [Reply]
@coachusa outlet (#223): HEY! I gotcha spam RIGHT HERE!
CloudbusterMay 20th, 2011 at 10:13 pm [Reply]
9CL: I’m going to be very, very angry if this is used as the turning point. “I’m really turned off by you wanting to write sonnets and symphonies about me instead of, you know, just rutting like bunnies here in the hallway. Let’s just be friends. You can go back to being gay and appreciating me artistically now.”
Rocky StoneaxeMay 20th, 2011 at 10:15 pm [Reply]
@coachusa outlet (#223): Aren’t you owned by Coach Kaz of Gil Thorp fame?
ElkMeadowMay 20th, 2011 at 11:53 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#90):
There’s a bit of suspense with the baby golden eagles. There were two in the nest last year, and one fell out and, of course, was killed. So every day, the first thing to do is to see if both are still there, still alive. It’s a sad fact too, that sometimes parent bird kills the smaller to feed the larger chick.
Alfred E. NeumanMay 21st, 2011 at 12:08 am [Reply]
Re: Pluggers, @Red Greenback (#198) said: “@Alfred E. Neuman (#193): You should have submitted your entry using the fake name ‘Cane Electrolux’.”
Duh, I just got what you really meant by this post. Oh well, better late than never. Other possible fake names we could use:
Bam Boo Bissell
Stem Eureka
Stalk Dyson
Phragmites Kirby
May 21st, 2011 at 12:10 am [Reply]
The Amusing Spiderman: I wish one of these vampires would bite somebody, if only because a mouthful of neck would keep them from talking. About all that’s left is for Morbius to attack Martine.
FW: So even Batiuk knows that his Mary Sue’s angst has been a waste of time.
MT: Could somebody please roll a large stone in front of that cave? And this time make sure the Roman soldiers stay awake all night?
Red GreenbackMay 21st, 2011 at 12:24 am [Reply]
@Alfred E. Neuman (#229): Love the names you came up with! They sound like the next litter o’ Palins.
ElkMeadowMay 21st, 2011 at 12:24 am [Reply]
Liza is playing “Mime in a Box.” Also, she refers to Drew as “lover,” and to that, Drew makes no response. He’s done for.
Rex refuses to prove to Stella that he has the lottery ticket. Which is fine with her, as he didn’t check the safe–Riley was interrupted before he could get it out, so all she has to do is wait for Rex to leave, and she’ll collect the ticket.
MibbitmakerMay 21st, 2011 at 12:36 am [Reply]
I have an entire new “Thank You Notes” parody written for today’s (Friday) comics, but thanks to my bad timing all day, and Josh’s all night so far (I cannot let special material like this get post-jumped), I haven’t gotten it on yet.
Just a heads up.
I sure can’t do “Thank You Notes” at the same time Jimmy Fallon’s doing the real thing, I’d miss it (plus, all the clicking between Fallon and Ferguson would get even more distracting).
PoteetMay 21st, 2011 at 12:47 am [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#208): True. But Smokey Stover was rather amazing, whereas GA in these latter days is, um, not.
PoteetMay 21st, 2011 at 12:54 am [Reply]
@Alfred E. Neuman (#229): Equisetum Oreck.
KarMannMay 21st, 2011 at 12:57 am [Reply]
5/21 DT: I love the escalation from baby bottle to old-fashioned iron. (And I know how much those things weigh!)
Red GreenbackMay 21st, 2011 at 12:59 am [Reply]
Sisal Shopvac
Rocky StoneaxeMay 21st, 2011 at 1:05 am [Reply]
@Mibbitmaker (#233):
Heh. You make it sound like Fallon and Ferguson have only one set of false teeth between them. (Or would that be “clacking”?)
greghousesgfMay 21st, 2011 at 1:09 am [Reply]
Dennis reminded me of what I always thought was an odd quirk of parents, their seeming obsession over kids’ eating speed. An unusually large percentage of my childhood (and some adulthood) meals contained at least one incident where my sister or I was told we were either eating too fast or too slow.
I’d like to know what word Jeffy got yelled at for. I’m willing to bet it wasn’t exactly George Carlin-worthy.
May 21st, 2011 at 1:26 am [Reply]
5/21 MW — *whimpers fearfully*
KarMannMay 21st, 2011 at 1:29 am [Reply]
5/21 Archie: Why is it that, when she says “if he thinks he’s going to get a bite of this,” I can’t help thinking of yester-yesterday’s peaches?
MibbitmakerMay 21st, 2011 at 1:56 am [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#238): Nope — “clicking”, with the remote. As in, “There’s a remote possibility I’ll get my Fallon parody Friday comments on Sunday at this point — oh, wait….
Fallon and Ferguson might as well be one full set of choppers, though. Actually, having just seen Bill Carter, late-night chronicaller, on Carson Daily (I stayed tuned for that segment), the author said he tries to catch some of all the late-night guys on the same night (Conan, Stewart, Colbert, Letterman, Leno, Jimmy, Jimmy and Craig)! Yikes! No word on him also trying to avoid post-jumping on a comics mocking blog comment section at the same time, though.
Magic Eight BallMay 21st, 2011 at 2:08 am [Reply]
Signs point to Yes.
SterlingMay 21st, 2011 at 2:16 am [Reply]
I guess Dennis’ mom can keep her figure on a diet of nothing but french fries and soda, but between the scurvy and the decay, does she have any teeth left?
Baka GaijinMay 21st, 2011 at 2:16 am [Reply]
*** SQUICK ALERT ***
There is a shortage of Brain Bleach© due to today’s Snuffy Smith.
*** END SQUICK ALERT ***
Baka GaijinMay 21st, 2011 at 2:22 am [Reply]
Mary Worth: Drew, it’s time you become a graduate of the “Dr. Kevorkian School of Clingy Date Removal.”
Zits: Ponder carefully before answering, Jeremy. The amount of sex you may almost get for the next week is riding on this one question. *
Pluggers: HA HA. Pluggers don’t know what Redbox or Netflix is. Ha ha. Ugh.
* Almost because we know Jeremy is virginal as the driven snow.
Baka GaijinMay 21st, 2011 at 2:31 am [Reply]
Dick Tracy: Attitude Plenty is really Mark Trail’s kid. Unable to punch off facial hair yet, he does the only thing he can in hopes he can bash off his father’s scruffy beard.
Lockhorns: How does lumpy Leroy always end up with the busty blondes? His sparkling conversational skills? His rippling physique? I don’t see it.
Mark Trail: I’ve seen Sistine Chapels smaller than that cave.
Mark Trail, again: How convenient Mr. Forest Mystery Date found a cave wired with electric lighting.
KarMannMay 21st, 2011 at 2:39 am [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#247) on MT2: It’s his man-cave, don’tcha know.
Baka GaijinMay 21st, 2011 at 2:39 am [Reply]
Apartment 3-G: I can’t believe the comics page won’t let Jeremy Zits say “sucks” but will show Iris on the phone stroking her neighbor’s pussy.
Baby Blues: I. Want. That. Storybook. “Pinocchio and the Wood Chipper.” “Hansel Ditches Gretl.” I want the illustrated edition that includes “Little Red Riding Stripper” and “The Queen’s New Clothes.”
Bizarro: Good one.
Baka GaijinMay 21st, 2011 at 2:41 am [Reply]
@KarMann (#248): Ah ha ha HA! What’s a man-cave? Is it anything like man-scaping?
MibbitmakerMay 21st, 2011 at 3:03 am [Reply]
(okay, screw it, I’ll do it now while it makes at least some sense)
Yadda-yadda-yadda THANK YOU NOTES parody, yadda yadda yadda…
Late Friday Strips Edition
(Thank You Notes music)
Thank you… Luann Powers, for being dense enough to be trapped into a surprise marriage.
Thank you… BC’s “Show Me”, for, frankly, not showing us much of anything.
Thank you… menacing in “Dennis”, for screwing with his mom’s brain to the point of paralysis with such an unsolvable conundrum!
Thank you… Hollywood, for making a perfectly awful movie out of a perfectly awful book, based on a perfectly awful era of a once perfectly fine, now perfectly awful comic strip! Perfect, Les.
Thank you… evil ice cream man, for your appearance in Garfield today (darkened lights, menacing tone, music getting creepy) (immitating ice cream man) “Yeah, cat… you know you want to eat this yummmmmy ice cream…. But you can’t….. Stuck on that tree branch…. helpless… like Sgt. Snorkle off a cliff…. This lucious ice cream…. You can just taste it, can’t you? Can’t you?!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!” (lights up, creepy music stops)
(regular tune resumes)
Thank you… Gil Thorp, for more Hobart. Just because.
Thank you… Herb & Jamaal, for…….. something.
Thank you… The forever bolded “WHAT…”, which will be avoided by NO man! Even with tons of evil, evil hair!
Thank you… Dr. Drew. We’ll miss you when you’re dead…. any moment now!
Thank you… Oids, for being a very visual reminder to always use a condom.
Thank you… Prickly City, for being a nice reminder of Aldo.
And finally…
Thank you… today’s Other Coast, for showing Lynn Johnston and Tom Batiuk what book publishing is really like.
That’s the Thank You Notes rip-off! Thanks, you guys. * Stay tuned for the Metapost, probably already in progress…..
Baka GaijinMay 21st, 2011 at 3:25 am [Reply]
@Mibbitmaker (#251): That was good. DON’T MAKE US WAIT LIKE THAT AGAIN!!!
KarMannMay 21st, 2011 at 3:31 am [Reply]
So, how long until we conclude that Josh has been taken up early in the Rapture?
Mr. O'MalleyMay 21st, 2011 at 3:47 am [Reply]
Well, I checked the news from New Zealand (http://www.nzherald.co.nz/) where it’s 7:42 PM on Saturday, and there are no reports of anybody being raptured yet. But it may be that they’re just an ungodly lot.
Looks like I may be able to try that new Ethiopian restaurant after all…
Baka GaijinMay 21st, 2011 at 3:56 am [Reply]
It’s mid-morning here in Europe. A quick check of Eurocontrol shows the faithful lining up for takeoff just behind the pigs. Who’ll become airborne first?
Bill ThompsonMay 21st, 2011 at 4:24 am [Reply]
If the faithful chosen are about to leave, the least we can do is sing ‘em a song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0fxSiC6pOI
KarMannMay 21st, 2011 at 4:39 am [Reply]
@Bill Thompson (#256): Hee hee, yep, I’ve already posted that (different YouTube, same song) elsewhere, and played it a few times tonight.
I should also share. . . hold on, uploading. . . this Pearls Before Swine classic, to accompany the appropriate music.
Bill ThompsonMay 21st, 2011 at 4:51 am [Reply]
@KarMann (#257): I plan to listen to the entire album; after all, I’m not going anywhere. Great PBS cartoon, too; thanks!
Here’s another song that seems appropriate for the people who plan to rack up those Freakish Flier Miles:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMh0qtY2IcU
Rocky StoneaxeMay 21st, 2011 at 6:35 am [Reply]
Dog Eat Doug — The strip’s regular colorist must have been spirited away… because that’s supposed to be a blue Tardis:
http://www.creators.com/comics/dog-eat-doug.html
BudMay 21st, 2011 at 7:25 am [Reply]
FW – “practically infinitesimal”
In Les’ world, receiving that phrase actually just cost him another $2.99 on his Bluesberry phone
GreenteaMay 21st, 2011 at 7:26 am [Reply]
Dick Tracy: Is it just me or did the Plentys give birth to Hercules? The kid just threw an iron at B.O., and it looks like a very old school iron, when they were literaly made of iron, at that.
SnowshoecatMay 21st, 2011 at 7:39 am [Reply]
MW- it’s simple. All Drew has to do is let Liza know that he needs medical attention. He’ll never see her again.
ZeusMay 21st, 2011 at 7:40 am [Reply]
@Greentea (#261): Look, Hera, I swear, I didn’t touch that Plenty woman!
KarMannMay 21st, 2011 at 7:42 am [Reply]
@Snowshoecat (#262): Yeah, right. Cue up “Sexual Healing” and “Bad Case of Loving You”. She’ll be over that medical-care aversion in no time!
gleebMay 21st, 2011 at 7:58 am [Reply]
Jump Start: Unspeakable filth!
’shaft: The deaths of millions don’t matter. What matters is how this effects Ed.
Dick: Look out, he’s on to your tobacco-smuggling ring!
‘bean: So, Batsy knows this, and still went ahead with a week of moaning to Imaginary Deadwife? It’s called padding by a hack.
Gil: This is actually getting topical and pretty good. Soon it’ll be time for Coach Kaz to do something wacky.
H&J: Ha, Jamaal is going to be injured and permanently disfigured by burning, falling debris, and it’s funny!
Phantom: Ooh, this is more serious than I’d first imagined.
Spidey: Wrist of power!
Zippy: So, Griffy’s a math-phobic candy-ass? No surprise, but why share it with us? Oh, that’s right, because he ran out of ideas for his comic 15 years ago, but he needs the money.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 21st, 2011 at 8:24 am [Reply]
Frazz: heeee! another Michigan ref.
A&J: *bonk* Its not every strip that can get away with showing their characters getting bonked in bed.
R&R: and he was hoping for the squirrel dream instead.
Doons: *giggle* nice Schulz ref.
F-: O_O
NS: demonstrates a passing familiarity with the demotivator concept. (D+ is still a passing grade, yes?)
RwO: showing Peter and MJ in the alt-ending to the current S-M arc.
6Cx: dat’s a big kitty!
SB: of all the times to include the Olde English D.
Zits: just nod and grunt, Jeremy, there is no right answer to that. (especially since he’s not looking north of her collarbone to begin with.)
Vince MMay 21st, 2011 at 8:29 am [Reply]
@Alfred E. Neuman (#219): Oh brother, if only. My grandmother in Nebraska had a house with a basement full of comic books from a few decades’ worth of grandkids’ stays, all of which were probably trashed when she moved out and we were thousands of miles away. My only consolation is that monetarily they were probably worthless, being handled to the verge of compost.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 21st, 2011 at 9:00 am [Reply]
It’s OK, cuz I’m a Doctor. (and you’re welcome for your morning earworm.)
Loldogs explain fonts.
bebbeh sloth.
barded warhorse doing pretty well, actually. (although I thought it was corgis that fairies rode?)
hovercorgi haz epic air.
conchsqui.
Knickknack paddywack.
MibbitmakerMay 21st, 2011 at 9:44 am [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#268): Reminds me of a slight parody I came up with some years ago:
Knick knack
Paddywack
Give a dog a bone
His old man’s
with the Rolling Stones.
May 21st, 2011 at 9:54 am [Reply]
@Mr. O’Malley (#254): I think we have until 6pm Eastern time before everyone gets called up. Why the God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and a bunch of other folks who lived in the general vicinity of Jerusalem is operating on EST is a theological point which has never been explained to me.
Until then, Saturday snark:
C’shaft: Crankshaft’s what, eighty? Isn’t it well past time for him to retire? He’s going to be one of those guys who finally leaves his job and then dies a week later because he doesn’t know what to do with himself, isn’t he? (I would fully welcome this development, BTW.)
FW: If this were intended as a comeuppance to Les’ smug hubris, I would take back everything (okay, almost everything) bad I said about Batiuk. Sadly, I think he was going for “Oh, isn’t life so tragically ironic?” again.
MT: Despite his rugged living, John Thrasher couldn’t forgo the comforts of his folding canvas camp chair.
MW: Drew’s resigned but determined look tells me a syringe carrying a lethal dose of sedative will “accidentally” get jammed into Liza’s buttock very soon.
SM: Wow, I guess she’s a perfect match for Peter after all.
sullyMay 21st, 2011 at 10:08 am [Reply]
Meanwhile, over at Adam @ Home, another long-winded, humorless discussion about nothing of importance, in order to arrive at what can best be described as an inevitably lame punch-line. The totally unrealistic writing of this dreck makes Curtis look like Dickens.
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 21st, 2011 at 10:08 am [Reply]
Marmaduke – He mocks God before his friends even as they are being Raptured. I say, smite him! Smite them all and don’t even sort them out.
Pluggers sit in front of QVC for hours, waiting for the commercial to end.
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 21st, 2011 at 10:10 am [Reply]
6 – Love is… having a cat about as large as yourself. Who needs people, anyway?
Speed – “There’s something: a man was so pleased over catching a Sears completely immersible coffee maker that he failed to notice a plummeting Tappan gas range. (Tappan: The Leader in Kitchen Appliances since 1881!)”
[— "Catch It and You Keep It" from National Lampoon's "Radio Dinner" LP, no doubt by Michael O'Donoghue]
May 21st, 2011 at 10:11 am [Reply]
@Red Greenback (#237): Rite Coolidge.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 21st, 2011 at 10:34 am [Reply]
@Mibbitmaker (#269): it reminds me of my ultimate Far Side moment. Larsen did a two panel strip featuring this nursery rhyme, and I didn’t remember it. So, I was confused as to why the husband was rolling down the hill after his wife was yelling nonsense up it. It was WEEKS later when I remembered the rhyme, and got the full joke.
I miss the Far Side, and seeing it’s memory raeped by various HACKS doesn’t improve my mood about it one bit.
JessyMay 21st, 2011 at 10:52 am [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#275): The Far Side was my favorite comic ever. Ever!
JD RhoadesMay 21st, 2011 at 10:53 am [Reply]
FW: Finally, some glimmer of hope that Batuik knows anything about publishing and movie options. Jesus, I hate that drama queen Les so fucking much.
Phantom: “Won’t stop bleeding! I have to head for the Deep Woods!” Yes, because a jaunt through the hot, humid, bug- and parasite-filled jungle is famously good for wounds.
Uncle LumpyMay 21st, 2011 at 11:09 am [Reply]
Funky Winkerbean — Looks like Our Les has learned all about options: “Ann, I’ve decided to let that Hollywood producer option ‘Lisa’s Story’ — but I reserve the right to piss and moan if it actually happens. Just so nobody can blame me, OK?
“I mean, I’m the innocent victim here, right? Well, one of them.”
calibanMay 21st, 2011 at 11:23 am [Reply]
Anybody know the name of Dr. Drew’s bunny rabbit? He needs to hire a hitman to take preemptive action.
spikeMay 21st, 2011 at 11:35 am [Reply]
@Uncle Lumpy (#278): I thought we were all innocent victims of Batiuk. :-)
MW: Returning to Peace Village is the only way to rid yourself of Liza, Dude! Start packin’!
Baka GaijinMay 21st, 2011 at 11:46 am [Reply]
Now it’s getting serious. Has anyone seen or heard from Josh recently? Josh, if you’re out there poring over hundreds and hundreds of comments for the COTW post, save yourself some time and just look at the ones under the words “Baka Gaijin.” You’re welcome.
Red GreenbackMay 21st, 2011 at 11:51 am [Reply]
Hearty huzzahs in advance to Baka Gaijin and his fellow floaters, Baka Gaijin, Baka Gaijin, Baka Gaijin, Baka Gaijin, Baka Gaijin, Baka Gaijin, Baka Gaijin, and Baka Gaijin!
Scott BotMay 21st, 2011 at 12:20 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#281): I just figured the end of the world came a little earlier out where he’s at.
zerowolfMay 21st, 2011 at 12:29 pm [Reply]
Crankshaft: Isn’t that next week?
Baka GaijinMay 21st, 2011 at 12:38 pm [Reply]
@Red Greenback (#282): Why thank you. What a surprise!
FOOBed againMay 21st, 2011 at 12:41 pm [Reply]
We respectfully – and vigorously – disagree! There is nothing “vintage” about the Apartment 3-G ladies’ wardrobes. What they’re wearing now would have been just as sad in 1962. It all looks like it came from the bargain basement of the Nondescript Warehouse, Inc. outlet store. They would be far more chic, even today, in their 1960s clothes. @Fashion Police (#129):
Here are some old Alex Kotzky A3-G strips from the 1960’s and 1970’s.
Pseudo3DMay 21st, 2011 at 1:01 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#281): And “Pseudo3D”, too. There might be something good under his!
Pseudo3DMay 21st, 2011 at 1:08 pm [Reply]
Baby Blues: It made ME smile today.
FW: Yes!
S-M: Why does Mary Jane suddenly look more masculine in the last panel?
commodorejohnMay 21st, 2011 at 1:09 pm [Reply]
A3G – Let me guess: Tazer-wielding Mrs. Bloom has found love in sunny wherever-she-is and won’t be needing the apartment anymore. I’m kind of disappointed by the prospect, but Iris is almost as enjoyable a character, and we see a lot more of her.
Crock – God help me, I laughed at Crock today. Even a stopped calendar is right once in all of history, I guess.
DT – I have lived to see the phrase “cocaine biscuits” printed in America’s funny pages. I can die a happy man.
FC – And that’s when Jeffy found himself planted head-first in the lawn, Bil and Thel none-too-gently tamping down the soil with their feet.
FW – Thank you, Ann, for knowing what “option” means. If you wouldn’t mind, could you take over as main character? You can forcibly evict Les, if you have to. In fact, we’d prefer it if you did. Brutally.
JP – “What, are you kidding me? Do you know the people from Parkerville? The only thing tragic about her death would be the fact that they didn’t make any money from it.”
MT – “I’d like you to meet my roommates, Eegah and Ro-Man. Say hello, guys!”
MW – AUGH
Pluggers – Pluggers ought to remember when the TV shows were the commercials, and Burns and Allen were choking out forced gags about motherfucking powdered milk, [*] but that wouldn’t fit with what they choose to remember about the past.
Popeye – This joke about a sailor being able to take on a gaggle of walking phalluses has been redacted for extreme bad taste.
SM – Unlike her husband, MJ actually has an excuse for getting hit in the back of the head.
Scott BotMay 21st, 2011 at 1:10 pm [Reply]
@Pseudo3D (#287): Scott Bot, too. Although that might be reaching some.
PoteetMay 21st, 2011 at 1:22 pm [Reply]
S-M — If you’re not going to be darkly sexy or alluringly dangerous or even smart enough to beat a salt shaker in an IQ contest, what’s the point of being a vampire?
PoteetMay 21st, 2011 at 1:31 pm [Reply]
DT — I’ve never had a good look at crack cocaine, but I’d bet my chocolate fund that it doesn’t actually look or behave like biscuit flour. I’m guessing that Gertie is one of the worst bakers in all comicdom.
PoteetMay 21st, 2011 at 1:37 pm [Reply]
@FOOBed again (#286): Wow. In the one I clicked on, Lu Ann had a definite Sandy Dennis thing going on. Who knew?
kkarenbMay 21st, 2011 at 1:38 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#245):
You are so right! When I read SS this morning, my only thought was “BRAIN BLEACH!” Argh!
Dick Tracy – I followed this only sporadically until the new team took over, but now it is on my must-follow list. Today’s strip is really wonderful, so full of energy. And that unseen baby – hilarious!
Pluggers – At least the Chicken Lady is holding her knittinf needles as if she is actually knitting.
kkarenbMay 21st, 2011 at 1:39 pm [Reply]
@kkarenb (#294):
Make that knittinG needles.
May 21st, 2011 at 1:54 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#283): I just figured the end of the world came a little earlier out where he’s at.
He’s just waiting to see. Why go to all that trouble if it’s all going to flood and fire in just a few ticks anyway? Might as well spend the time watching funny cat videos while it’s still possible.
May 21st, 2011 at 1:54 pm [Reply]
@kkarenb (#295): not knittin fn eedles?
Uncle LumpyMay 21st, 2011 at 1:56 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#289):
“The only thing tragic about her death would be the fact that they didn’t make any money from it.”
Coming soon from Cheatem House Publishers: Doctor on the Roof, by Alan Parker.
Scott BotMay 21st, 2011 at 2:04 pm [Reply]
JP – I realize he’s trying to help a big breasted woman, but, as an attorney, Judge Parker should realize that an untrained bystander trying to talk down a suicidal woman without police assistance is pretty much a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Baka GaijinMay 21st, 2011 at 2:20 pm [Reply]
@kkarenb (#294): Yeah, how did that get past the censors. The mechanics of Snuffy “going up to” her “sparking spot” is mindboggling once you get past the ick factor. The fine folks at Pfizer are working on a medicine for that exact condition even as we speak. The ick factor not the other thing.
ElkMeadowMay 21st, 2011 at 2:29 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#292):
Gertie had to watch a television show on how to make buiscuts. That no one in the family sampled them when they were out of the oven or snuck some of the raw dough speaks volumes of how bad her cooking is.
ElkMeadowMay 21st, 2011 at 2:31 pm [Reply]
buiscuts.
biscuits.
Well, I guess I shouldn’t be picking on Gertie’s cooking, as my spelling isn’t any better, even when the wavy red line warns me that the word is misspelled and I post anyway.
mollificentMay 21st, 2011 at 2:33 pm [Reply]
@spike (#280): Or, alternately, MW: “It won’t stop bleating. I need to return to the Deep Woods!” ;)
mollificentMay 21st, 2011 at 2:34 pm [Reply]
P.S. Would it be all that surprising if Josh had been Raptured? He is The Pope, after all. ;)
CalicoMay 21st, 2011 at 2:45 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#289):
Haha, I love Iris. When everyone else is tearing their hair out over one thing or another, she just glides through life with seemingly not a care in the world.
I don’t remember who mentioned here that her New Year’s Party was most likely all in her head, but I’ll never forget the comment. Too funny. : )
PoteetMay 21st, 2011 at 2:47 pm [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#302): Far better to misspell biscuits than make them out of cocaine:-).
bats :[May 21st, 2011 at 2:51 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#268): re: Hund in Armor: bring on those badgers!
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 21st, 2011 at 2:58 pm [Reply]
Love Is. . . . purchased. (and smells like a French purchased woman to boot!)
Moe RonMay 21st, 2011 at 2:59 pm [Reply]
Take a look at the background in Dennis the Menace. Its much more entertaining than the lame pun going on the foreground.
First look at the ponytailed customer at the counter. He/she is not all there! You can see the arm of the fast food worker through its chest! And it appears theres nothing at all below his/her shoulders! Its a ghost I tell you! The ghost of a customer who choked to death at this very establishment years ago!
And why is the customer in line holding a tray with a drink on it. If he’s just been served shouldn’t he be heading the other way, towards the tables? Or maybe his food sucked and he’s going to throw his drink on the counter person and whack them with the tray. Maybe he tasted pee in his drink!
And the counter person looks as if he’s pinching a loaf in his pants! Maybe the sight of the ghost is unnerving him so much he’s crapping himself.
And look at the fast food worker behind the counter person! That’s not a human! That’s a goddamn Muppet! Muppets working in the fast food industry! She it! The Children’s Television Workshop must be laying off muppets!!!!!!!
May 21st, 2011 at 2:59 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#307): charge!!!
“Aloysius, you’re embarrassing me!”
ElkMeadowMay 21st, 2011 at 3:03 pm [Reply]
@Mibbitmaker (#251):
Thank you… today’s Other Coast, for showing Lynn Johnston and Tom Batiuk what book publishing is really like.
I don’t get it. I went to comics.com and they had a strip about middle-aged forests being used for paper.
On a similar note, I read yesterday an article by Kathryn Stockett, whose first time novel, “The Help,” is about relationships between black maids and white female employers in the dawn of the civil rights era. She had 60 rejections over five years, and was constantly rewriting and re-editing it, including when she was giving birth to one of her kids (“Put the papers down; you’re crowning.”)
ElkMeadowMay 21st, 2011 at 3:10 pm [Reply]
@greghousesgf (#239):
An unusually large percentage of my childhood (and some adulthood) meals contained at least one incident where my sister or I was told we were either eating too fast or too slow.
I remember it all had something to do with not leaving the table until everyone else was finished. If you ate too fast, than you were a nuisance and a whiner while everyone else was leisurely eating. If you ate too slow, others had to wait, and then washing the dishes (which were always by hand) cut into prime television and homework time. I am 54 years old, and my mom is 75, my sister is 52, and my kids are 21, and they all let me know that I still can’t eat properly at the table. I’m glad to know that I’m not the only adult in this shipwreck.
ElkMeadowMay 21st, 2011 at 3:18 pm [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#311):
Whoops, it was May 20th’s The Other Coast, which I thought I’d looked at before I posted.
Yeah, that is more real life. Even J.K.Rowling’s editor had her rewrite the opening of the first box (The Potter parents got blown up, and the Granger parents were witnesses, or something incredibly “oh, I’m so glad I read about Dudley instead,” violent.
Baka GaijinMay 21st, 2011 at 3:19 pm [Reply]
Remember our good friend, the lush lorikeet? Who would have guessed Mark Trail was correct?
This GuyMay 21st, 2011 at 3:26 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#289): Yeah, Pluggers know you have to choose to remember the right past, like “We’ve always been at war with Eurasia.”
@mollificent (#304): Catholics don’t believe in the Rapture, and according to most of those who do, they wouldn’t be eligible anyway.
Snuffy SmithMay 21st, 2011 at 3:30 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#245): Arc. arc. arc! At least I’m getting some hillbilly whoopie! How ’bout you, clown breath?
Artist formerly known as BenMay 21st, 2011 at 3:38 pm [Reply]
5/21
S-M: “Don’t talk to her. She’s just a dumb human girl.” I guess sisterhood isn’t so very powerful among vampirekind.
Blondie: Dag Antennahair has a nice meal out with the wife and woodnchaknow! The staff expects a good tip! The Urge to… Actually that sounds pretty fair.
FW: Tom Batiuk and Les Moore share a rare moment of clarity…
C-Shaft: … while Ed Crankshaft continues to believe that the world literally revolves around him.
JP: Not that I don’t appreciate the detective giving a stern warning to the publicist, but mightn’t his time be better spent calling in the fire department with one of those cushy trampoline things?
MW: Mary Worth, home of the blindingly obvious thought bubble.
MT: Of course it starts with “Let’s go to my place.” Monday, John Thrasher will ask Mark to pose on a rock while Thrasher sketches him. Tuesday, it will be, “You’re too tense. Let me go get you some wine.” Let’s just say that by this time next week, we’ll have seen a lot of Mark Trail.
Baldo: Not bad, not bad at all.
Jumble: When he talked to the lawyer about suing the brewery it became a |D|R|U|N|K|E|N| |B|I|T|C|H|F|E|S|T|
Popeye: You’ll hate me for this, but it looks like Popeye isn’t the only seaman on this island.
BC: Hey, comedy is just lynching plus time, right?
DT: So now that Gertie has experienced her first speed high, she’ll have a deeper understanding of her late father. Silver linings, people.
H&J: Note to bachelor firefighters. While it may be tempting to try impressing the ladies by showing up to the fire naked, your equipment is bound to look less impressive next to a regulation fire hose.
This GuyMay 21st, 2011 at 3:42 pm [Reply]
SS: It may be that the tendency of these characters to let their tongues loll disturbingly out of their mouths when laughing has never been so disturbing as today.
Mr. O'MalleyMay 21st, 2011 at 3:48 pm [Reply]
Maybe there is something to this end of the world stuff, because I just figured out that if you leave out all the sports stuff, there is actually not only a coherent plot in GT, but it has parallel structure and foreshadowing and all that stuff. Sure Coach Kaz can prevent the bar-owner from shafting the band, but who can stop the school board from shafting the teachers?
Maybe Al-Jo’s mother can help them organize a protest march.
Artist formerly known as BenMay 21st, 2011 at 3:53 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#259): Yeah, that TARDIS looks more like an outhouse with insufficient privacy.
carbunicleMay 21st, 2011 at 3:53 pm [Reply]
@FOOBed again (#286): Argh. the people of the past were giants.
We are weak; we are Pluggers! We are small; we are Ziggy! We are twisted; we are 9 Chickweed Lane! We are vile; we … we are … we are Funky Winkerbean.
May 21st, 2011 at 3:53 pm [Reply]
@Snuffy Smith (#316): Hillbilly whoopie apparently includes scaffolding and a block and tackle, Bodacious Breath.
carbunicleMay 21st, 2011 at 3:55 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#314): Wait, you were doubting Mark Trail? What are you, hirsute?
Snuffy SmithMay 21st, 2011 at 3:57 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#322): By the way. I can’t run these here computer thingies so Jughaid is doing it for me. He be educated you know, Europe dude.
(Jughaid: Hi! Baka! I agree with you. You would not believe the amount of barf came out of this little body when I saw them do the adult stuff on the hill.)
bats :[May 21st, 2011 at 4:06 pm [Reply]
@Calico (#305): hmmm, maybe this is in Iris’ head, too, because I sure can’t explain it…
bats :[May 21st, 2011 at 4:14 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#308): “I think my whore is dead.”
bats :[May 21st, 2011 at 4:30 pm [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#317): re Jumble: not l A l S l S l L l E l S l S l
l C l H l A l P l S l F l E l S l T l ? Dang.
May 21st, 2011 at 4:31 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#325):
Hahahaha! Perfect!
Poor Tommie probably doesn’t even know her street address, let alone “3G.”
May 21st, 2011 at 4:42 pm [Reply]
MW – I’m guessing that at this point, Liza will meet her match with MARY WORTH, who will be even harder to get rid of.
Baka GaijinMay 21st, 2011 at 4:52 pm [Reply]
@carbunicle (#323): Hirsute, yes. Smart enough to avoid having it punched off, yes. Mark Trail smart enough to avoid falling holes, no.
ElkMeadowMay 21st, 2011 at 4:53 pm [Reply]
@sully (#271):
I haven’t been able to figure out why the guys working on Adam@home think it’s funny. Some days it’s like FOOB 2.0, some days Smirky Funkybean, some days it’s Locher-style Dick Tracy, some days not-funny Candorville (CV does have some great arcs and story lines from time to time), and some days it’s Curtis in the ‘burbs.
Whatever.
It’s in my newspaper, and I feel like I’ve wasted my time even skimming over it. I used to like it years ago, but now the only advantage it has over FOOB is that each day’s strip wasn’t already published 25 years ago. I wish I could tell the team exactly where and how it could be improved, but I feel that it’s in a pit deeper than any that Mark Trail has ever been in.
ElkMeadowMay 21st, 2011 at 4:56 pm [Reply]
Queen Victoria–Raptured!
Baka GaijinMay 21st, 2011 at 5:07 pm [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#332): Clever Pab. Clever! A Norfolk Ale and packet of Sweet Chili Nobby’s Nuts for you.
Bill ThompsonMay 21st, 2011 at 5:32 pm [Reply]
Phantom: It all makes less sense than usual today. Panel #1: “Okay, kid, go back into the building where you were held hostage. Your three abductors are unconscious and liable to wake up at any moment. Send the Jungle Patrol an e-mail, unless someone accidentally shot up the computer or power supply, and wait for an answer.” (Or is it “Go in there and step over the corpses of the three men I just killed”?)
Panel #2: “Deep Forest”? Is that anywhere near Lost Forest? How many forests do you find in a region that is guarded by the Jungle Patrol? And call me old-fashioned, but if I’d just taken a bullet to the abdomen, I’d think in terms of a short walk to the nearest doctor, not a long hike into the wilderness. Or is this Kit’s way of saying he’s wandering off to the Old Phantom’s Graveyard?
CharterstonedMay 21st, 2011 at 5:45 pm [Reply]
A3G – The superstition, in case anyone doesn’t know this, is that if you are photographed holding a bouquet, your spirit is captured and you will have to live with people who look at you slant-wise all the time and raise their eyebrows with evil intent while the son apparently leers at his mother. And if you ask me, that’s pretty icky. So the next time someone tries to photograph YOU with a bouquet, don’t do it.
Snuffy SmithMay 21st, 2011 at 6:06 pm [Reply]
Arc. Arc. Arc! There’s a new post up. Sorry no rapture this week.
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