Shoe, 5/19/11
Nobody ever reads off a list of everything on a menu aloud, and Roz’s pencil is working diligently, so I assume that the Perfesser is actually ordering this extremely long list of food items, which in turn means that Shoe is referring to some kind of U.N. meeting on global obesity problems. Several of the dishes the Perfesser is trying to order are also based on bird-flesh, which means that it may be a U.N. meeting on a resurgence of cannibalism.
Gil Thorp, 5/19/11
I’m sad to report that the less interesting of Gil Thorp’s two current plotlines is the one that doesn’t involve school budget negotiations. Still, Coach Kaz is extorting money out of a longhair with the implicit threat of violence, so maybe things are looking up a bit. My bet is that Buzz Marco is less intimidated by Kaz’s beefy arms than he is by the horrifying tentacle-fingers that Kaz has so delicately draped across his collarbone.
Mary Worth, 5/19/11
Today’s Mary Worth narration box is for readers who don’t understand the orthographical convention by which bold italics convey emphasis. I dearly hope that Drew is literally shouting the final clauses of his sentences at Liza, in the increasingly desperate hope that she’ll acknowledge that he broke up with her.
This entry was posted on Thursday, May 19, 2011 at 08:50 am and is filed under Gil Thorp, Mary Worth, Shoe. | 276 responses to “” Plinko CommieMay 19th, 2011 at 8:56 am [Reply]
Funky Winkerbean: Don’t worry, Lisa! If you teach your self-absorbed Eeyorian husband to stop crapping all over his dream because he doesn’t know how to handle prosperity, you’ll finally leap!
Family Circus: Man, they must really limit the human interaction at the Kompound if Billy and Jeffy are THAT sad because their 130-year-old Grandma found something better to do than sit around in their living room and exchange pablum-encrusted old wise person sayings for inspidity-infused malpropisms.
LorneMay 19th, 2011 at 8:57 am [Reply]
Liza has the CRAZY EYES!
Run, Drew, RUN!
May 19th, 2011 at 8:58 am [Reply]
I joked at the beginning of this Mary Worth plot line that Liza was going through the Kubler-Ross model of grief, commonly abbreviated as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, acceptance. It’s beginning to really look like that’s how it’s going to play out, although she’s skipped over the anger stage and gone straight to bargaining. I assume the anger is going to show up later, and it’s going to be HUGE.
sporknporkMay 19th, 2011 at 8:59 am [Reply]
Drew doesn’t even realize he’s already on another date with Liza as they skate together in the hospital’s indoor physical therapy ice rink.
anonMay 19th, 2011 at 9:00 am [Reply]
9CL: Is this ‘conversation’ while lying on the hallway floor going to take as long to resolve as Gran’s USO adventure?
Gloom RaiderMay 19th, 2011 at 9:00 am [Reply]
MT: Is saying, “You’re the first human I’ve caught!” supposed to make Mark feel better? Actually, Mark being Mark, it probably does: “No son of my friend could be gearing up for a murderous, human-skin-collecting rampage! Right, Andy?”
wossnameMay 19th, 2011 at 9:01 am [Reply]
FC – oops, Keane used the wrong captions. The speech balloon is supposed to say “Spare change? Anything? I need booze, uh, I mean food.” And the caption (Jeffy’s line) is supposed to say “Get a job, you bum.”
MT – looks like John Thrasher is going to have Mark shinny up a log to get out. So where does that leave Andy?
JP – Fashion Police, pray tell us – do all fashionable Broadway theatre-goers wear strapless cocktail dresses?
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#Y215): That reminds me of how impressed I was when I rode through Hereford, Texas, and discovered that the high school teams were known as the Hostile Herd (aka Whitefaces).
@This Guy (#Y221): I agree – so far, I love Hobbs and Bacon. Bookmarked it.
Rocky StoneaxeMay 19th, 2011 at 9:03 am [Reply]
5-19 Weird Sound Effects:
Garfield — CRACK
Curtis — SNORT! SNORT!
Buckles — CLINK! CLANK!
Rose is Rose — RING… RING RING
Piranha Club —
http://www.jsonline.com/comics/32402404.html?feature_id=Piranha
nescioMay 19th, 2011 at 9:06 am [Reply]
DtM: Dogs may not be able to talk, but the momma dog is clearly saying FU to Dennis.
pugfugglyMay 19th, 2011 at 9:06 am [Reply]
Wait, bolding means emphasis in comic strips? I thought that bolded phrases were to be read in a deep, Barry White level barirtone, backed up a by a funky guitar lick. I always wondered why Mark Trail was so funky…
Thanks for clearing all tat up, Mary Worth!
Plinko CommieMay 19th, 2011 at 9:07 am [Reply]
Dennis the Menace: Based on the look the mama dog is giving him, I acknowledge that there IS something menacing in reducing the miracle and agony of birthing to an iTunes transaction.
B.C.: I wonder if the rock’s message is partially covered up by sand so that it actually reads “ACCIDENTAL DEATH BENEFITS MANKIND” or something. It’d certainly benefit the strip.
Marvin: The look on Jenny’s face in the first panel indicates she’s less concerned about empty nest syndrome, having to actually spend quality time with her husband or Marvin’s goals in life and more worried that she’ll have to follow him around work at the sewage plant, changing his diaper.
Crankshaft: Dark, bitter and stains everything it touches. Yes, I think Crankshaft found his calling in growing coffee.
The RidgerMay 19th, 2011 at 9:07 am [Reply]
Shoe: What I want to know is, why the question mark at the end of the Perfersser’s recital? Was that part of a question such as “Can you get me one each of…” or “Can I get a to-go order of…”? “Can you cater Skyler’s graduation with…” or “Why don’t you add to your menu…”? Or did he just segue into reciting the whole list? Because he can’t just be reading it, unless Roz got the menu in some tiny little extra-fancy font she can’t read.
bourbon babe, unbuckledMay 19th, 2011 at 9:07 am [Reply]
Okay, favorite female character in today’s comics: Pam from BR or Alice from CdS? Or the mama dog in DtM, who’s looking at us like, “I just gave birth to eight puppies, and now you want me to play straight dog to this moron? Cripes.”
@wossname (#7):
strapless cocktail dresses
I’m thinking more late 50’s/early 60s prom attire.
Mark BMay 19th, 2011 at 9:14 am [Reply]
It looks like Liza and Drew have hit a little bit of a rough spot in their relationship, but as soon as it puts the lotion on it’s skin, it should be straightened out. Or it gets the hose.
EllieMay 19th, 2011 at 9:14 am [Reply]
Drew is reading his lines off the clipboard….smooth.
Mark BMay 19th, 2011 at 9:15 am [Reply]
It’s vs. its faux pas. Please excuse the poor grammar.
PipMay 19th, 2011 at 9:15 am [Reply]
SHOE: Perfesser: “BLAST! UNAMERICAN FOOD, IN AMERICA? This calls for utter disgust! I will not have this “fine” dining establishment tainted by the stench of foreign cooking oil!”
DoodMay 19th, 2011 at 9:15 am [Reply]
Drew: “So, we’re good, right? Great, let’s go prescribe unnecessary procedures.”
NekrotzarMay 19th, 2011 at 9:16 am [Reply]
French, Greek, Canadian — that’s not an orgy, that’s a UN meeting.
DoodMay 19th, 2011 at 9:18 am [Reply]
Shoe: “That’s not a menu. That Peking duck’s my wife!”
Scott BotMay 19th, 2011 at 9:20 am [Reply]
Archie – I always figured the girls in this strip existed more for fanservice than anything, the drawing of Veronica in the last panel proves it. Not that I’m complaining, mind you…
FW – I honestly don’t understand this story arc. I am working on a novel – it’s not very good, I’m working on it more for my own amusement than anything, and I doubt anyone but a few close friends will ever see it. But if it ever got published and a studio optioned the thing, no matter what they did to it, I can guarantee you that all you ‘mudges will know it, because you all will hear the whoops of joy coming from me, no matter where in the world you are. Les, just shut the fuck up and be happy that anyone bothered to read the goddammed thing, much less want the rights.
JP – Today on Judge Parker, Constance explains her actions to a detective while a uniformed officer leads two high priced call girls to a waiting police van.
MT – Yes, he has a lot to brag about. It’s not every squirrel that can capture a human and a dog with a simple trap.
Pluggers – You look fine, lady, just slap your wig back on and get to the hairdresser. You’re running late!
JessyMay 19th, 2011 at 9:21 am [Reply]
If Liza is your grandpa’s nurse and she says, “He’ll get over it,” call the undertaker.
Maggie the CatMay 19th, 2011 at 9:21 am [Reply]
Regarding the bold and italic fonts: I love to read the soap strips aloud, just for my own giggling pleasure. There’s nothing like shouting HEY! YOU UP THERE!! WHAT’S THIS ABOUT????
And Drew’s doing the right thing. I always talked in italics when I was dumping someone. Gotta get your point across somehow.
PatrickMay 19th, 2011 at 9:22 am [Reply]
I find it utterly fascinating that the artists responsible for Gil Thorp will take the time to render every grain line in a random wooden post, but can’t be assed to learn how to draw fingers.
S. StoutMay 19th, 2011 at 9:25 am [Reply]
Luann: Like Ray Finkle from Ace Ventura, I guarantee that Evans has pictures of “Tiffany” from his high school all over his room, her face crossed out or stabbed.
DoodMay 19th, 2011 at 9:25 am [Reply]
Archie: Peaches come from a garage. They were put there by a Lodge. Who owns a factory downtown …
zenveloMay 19th, 2011 at 9:28 am [Reply]
@Patrick (#24): or fingered to learn how to draw asses….
Maggie the CatMay 19th, 2011 at 9:28 am [Reply]
@Maggie the Cat (#23):
For example: “Henry, I think we need to see other people because you act like a huge asshole!!” or “It’s over since you went home with that whore at the bar!“
BretMay 19th, 2011 at 9:31 am [Reply]
FW: Les, don’t sell yourself short with the literary comparisons. Please, please, please go all the way with the Hemingway!
twgMay 19th, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]
GT: Aw, and you’re usually so good at drawing hands!
ZaratustraMay 19th, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]
It’s no use, Drew. If the voiceover box didn’t convince her, nobody will.
Shermy GlamrockerMay 19th, 2011 at 9:45 am [Reply]
I am a very peaceful person, and until this point, have never advocated violence against women, but that Liza needs a good, ol’ fashioned bitch slap.
Steve the PocketMay 19th, 2011 at 9:45 am [Reply]
Props to Cassatt for coming up with so many foods named after countries that could legitimately be on the same restaurant’s menu. There are enough breakfast ones alone to reenact most of World War I.
Scott BotMay 19th, 2011 at 9:46 am [Reply]
S-M – ‘You’re even strong enough to render Spider-Man unconcious.’ Uh, that’s not exactly something to be impressed by – all you have to do is give him the remote and point him towards a recliner. My seven year old could do that.
UncleJeffMay 19th, 2011 at 9:46 am [Reply]
wossname @ #7: MT – looks like John Thrasher is going to have Mark shinny up a log to get out. So where does that leave Andy?
Andy’s already dug himself out of the trap. He even left Mark with a neatly-aligned series of stair steps but Mark was too busy screaming to notice.
And — by the way — it’s John F*%@ing Thrasher, if you please.
May 19th, 2011 at 9:47 am [Reply]
Archie — Who is the woman sitting with Mr. Lodge? After all these years of reading Archie, I can’t say I’ve ever seen any evidence of a Mrs. Lodge.
Archie footnote — While I was obsessing over Mr. Lodge’s companion, I completely overlooked Veronica’s completely unbuttoned blouse.
Dilbert — Funniest Dilbert ever!
Phantom — Calling Dr. Guran! Calling Dr. Guran! GSV in Cave 1, GSV in Cave 1.
Mark Trail — “First human I’ve caught…” Well, technically yes. But when you shove the victim into the pit from behind, I’m not sure this really should be scored as a catch.
Popeye — So now we know the Oids are big walking dicks. That makes this shaving Goon fuzz plotline so much more filthy.
JessMay 19th, 2011 at 9:51 am [Reply]
MW: This is hitting way too close to home… I once had a boyfriend who was impossible to break up with. It took a 5 hour phone conversation just to get through to him that I was breaking up with him, and no amount of logical analysis, bargaining, or guilt was going to change that. Then for the next several months, whenever we got back on friendly terms it turned into him trying to convince me that we should get back together.
Seinfeld said it best… “Both parties don’t have to consent to a breakup. It’s not like you’re launching missiles from a submarine and you both have to turn your keys.”
HeraldBassMay 19th, 2011 at 9:52 am [Reply]
S-M: Is it dawn yet?
UncleJeffMay 19th, 2011 at 9:53 am [Reply]
GT — I don’t know what the rules are in all states but here in Wisconsin, the state athletics code says if you are a high school athlete and you’re caught in an area where alcohol is served to minors, you immediately lose your academic eligibility…even if you are personally “just drinking soda.”
And I know my local school’s policy would require the immediate dismissal of the coaches who knew of their athletes being in such a place.
May 19th, 2011 at 9:54 am [Reply]
A3G:
“I meant as bride and groom!”
“Okay, not so sweet…”
Curtis: Forget it, Greg Evans — Michelle, here, has Tiff beat by a mile in the Excessively Spiteful Characterization Dept.
Doones: …and already, Trudeau is ‘off’ on his amazing up-to-dateness in the face of lead time issues. Not just on Trump, but bin-Laden’s demise, too. It’s eerie…!!
ChipMay 19th, 2011 at 9:55 am [Reply]
I’m waiting for the big reveal in which we find out Liza’s maiden name was “Kelrast!”
Esther BlodgettMay 19th, 2011 at 9:56 am [Reply]
Popeye: Well…if’n that ain’t just a large, upright, flesh-colored tube with a rounded head. (Made you look, right?)
GT: I have confidence that Coach Kaz and I can make our love work despite the fact that he’s a cuttlefish-based life form.
FW: Most people would take Hemingway’s advice and shut the hell up. Les Moore is not most people, unfortunately.
PBS: Does a Rat-size Snuggie count as squee? ‘Cause it’s pretty darn cute.
MibbitmakerMay 19th, 2011 at 10:00 am [Reply]
Curtis: Even evil, itself, is saying, “Whoa!”
ReFOOB: AWK-WAAAAAAARD!
FW: A strip like this would drive Hemingway to suicide!
MT: Squirrel: “And I’m off to go and celebrate! See ya later, folks.”
UncleJeffMay 19th, 2011 at 10:01 am [Reply]
@UncleJeff (#39): Sorry, that should be “athletic” eligibility…..
stinkfootMay 19th, 2011 at 10:03 am [Reply]
To me the bold text in Drew’s speech seemed as if spoken through gritted teeth and a fake smile — the kind you use when inching slowly away from the persistent and the obtuse.
JessMay 19th, 2011 at 10:03 am [Reply]
@UncleJeff (#39): So high school athletes don’t go to house parties in Wisconsin? I find that harder to believe than most of the Gil Thorp storylines.
Scott BotMay 19th, 2011 at 10:05 am [Reply]
@Jess (#46): Nope, never. None of our fine high school kids would ever do that.
Red GreenbackMay 19th, 2011 at 10:05 am [Reply]
You can tell Drew is getting emphatic, he usually has his script written on his hand… You’re no Barrymore, Drew.
Speaking of sports teams: Minnesota Hägars
May 19th, 2011 at 10:06 am [Reply]
@KarMann (#y236):
@Lisa (#230): It gets worse. Note that Holland’s associate is Mr. Oates. Holland. . . Oates. . . .
AUGH! And here I was chuckling over Tony Amato. TO-ny a-MATO. TOMATO.
Rocky StoneaxeMay 19th, 2011 at 10:07 am [Reply]
Friday on Thursday —
According to Ger Apeldoorn’s blog, Jack “Joe Friday” Webb was credited with writing a Dragnet comic strip from 1952 to 1955:
http://allthingsger.blogspot.com/2010/04/just-scans-mam-thursday-story-strip-day.html
MibbitmakerMay 19th, 2011 at 10:08 am [Reply]
Marm: Right statement, wrong circumstance.
MG&G: His girlfriend is Marvin?!
Popeye: You may get your chance, Ed Grimley! (actually, I think comic strip Olive is trying to style her hair like post-1945 animated Olive — and failing!)
S-M: Um… lady… do you even know about Spider-Man???
ElkMeadowMay 19th, 2011 at 10:09 am [Reply]
@Jessy (#22):
If Liza is your grandpa’s nurse and she says, “He’ll get over it,” call the undertaker.
If Liza is your grandpa’s nurse, at this point, I doubt if she even goes into the room unless Drew goes in too.
TheDivaMay 19th, 2011 at 10:10 am [Reply]
MW: Liza is only confirming my suspicions that this strip is really about the Cabinet of Dr. Caligari-esque delusions of insane asylum inmates. Among other things, it would explain the uncomfortably skewed angle of the hallway in panel two.
9CL: Look, would you two get a room and hand-jive already, and stop blocking the hallway? I really want to see one of Fernanda’s neighbors step over them while carrying a drippy bag of garbage to the trash chute.
FW: Let’s see: profound depression and increasing mental instability, check. Signs of narcissistic personality disorder, check. Hell, the only things that are missing are the suicide and the good writing. And let’s face it, Les, three out of four ain’t bad…
MT: This is a prequel to “The Most Dangerous Game,” right?
Marvin: I know he means small toys, but this being Marvin we’re talking about my mind immediately went someplace much more disgusting.
Pluggers have crippling obsessive-compulsive disorder.
SM: Oh please, quit talking about subduing Spider-Man like it’s a superhuman feat…
Krazy KatMay 19th, 2011 at 10:11 am [Reply]
I’m enjoying Mary Worth’s slow conversion from a soap opera strip to a dark and shadowy psycho-sexual noir thriller. If we’re lucky, one of these painfully awkward and self-involved characters will die, bringing this tortured romantic plot line to a merciful end and opening the door for Mary’s truly epic murder investigation meddle. Has it ever been dark and stormy at Charterstone? Will venetian blinds replace the drop ceiling panels? Will Mary’s trench coat be sherbet purple? Stay tuned!
Old School Allie CatMay 19th, 2011 at 10:11 am [Reply]
A3G – Oh, Luanne -it is sweet – until you realize that Mother Linski has been dead for seven years, and he’s taking you to the cemetery to show you off to a grave marker.
I actually wrote a scene like that for a drama class in college. It wasn’t my best work. Speaking of not your best work…
FW – Dude, we get it – no one can be trusted to preserve the precious memory of the sainted Lisa. Hollywood is cruel. You memorized one quote by Hemingway. You have a small penis. Yes, yes, Tom – we know all of these things already.
MW – Wow, this just gets awkwarder and awkwarder. Liza’s density makes Jill’s outburst at the wedding seem like a polite badminton game. Where is Mary Worth to intervene when you actually need her? Remember Mary? It’s a strip about Mary.
stinkfootMay 19th, 2011 at 10:11 am [Reply]
Wait, re-reading Liza’s response, I detected some ambiguity. “We’ll get over it.” Over what? The breakup? Is this “little glitch” a “bump in the road” of their friendship — or does she think Drew will get over his silly fantasies of ever leaving her and realize that she is the one true mate for eternity? Honestly, I hope for the latter, because it could lead to Drew getting chained in her basement, fed bread and water, and eventually decapitated in the act of love. IOW, Liza the praying mantis killer.
LiamMay 19th, 2011 at 10:14 am [Reply]
MW-I am waiting for the Mary Worth strip where Drew comes home to the smell of a delicious stew being cooked by Liza, who is wearing just an apron, and the scene of a bloody struggle that happened between Liza and Drew’s father.
un malpasoMay 19th, 2011 at 10:14 am [Reply]
Meanwhile, Mary Worth’s narrator emphasizes the fact that Drew is emphasizing, twice, the fact that he and Dawn are not in a relationship, with emphasis.
teenchyMay 19th, 2011 at 10:14 am [Reply]
@UncleJeff (#39): Laws vary around the country re underage performers in bars. Some require accompaniment by a parent or guardian. I guess that in the state with the most bars per capita in the country, it’s easier to regulate it in blanket fashion.
As applied to GT, not the band’s fault that Buzz Marco let minors drink hence no excuse to not bring them back. Buzz had better ease up or he’ll find his thumbs floating in the pickeld egg jar at the end of the bar.
teenchyMay 19th, 2011 at 10:14 am [Reply]
*pickled* egg jar
Maggie the CatMay 19th, 2011 at 10:16 am [Reply]
Question: Did everyone in the 70s talk like Uncle Phil in FBOFW?
I hope not, b/c when I think of someone spouting “Far out!” and/or calling someone “the kid” it makes me hate them. And I’d hate to think that the decade that spawned my birth was filled with such douchebaggery.
un malpasoMay 19th, 2011 at 10:16 am [Reply]
Whoops.. “Liza”, not Dawn. Not that it matters or anything. She looks like a Dawn to me.
Scott BotMay 19th, 2011 at 10:23 am [Reply]
@Maggie the Cat (#61): Nope, that was pretty much only on TV, if I remember right.
Although a lot of people did have porn ’staches like that. It was a scary time.
Ned RyersonMay 19th, 2011 at 10:26 am [Reply]
MW: Gosh, I feel so much happier now that we ended our relationship.
I’m looking forward to going out for dinner or other social engagements exclusively with people who aren’t you.
I can’t wait to see what the future brings especially since it definitively does not include you, nurse Liza Colby.
My favorite part of the medical profession is these tiny little clipboards.
Oops, apparently I’ve developed a condition where I end all my sentences like this.
May 19th, 2011 at 10:32 am [Reply]
@Red Greenback (#48): You can’t throw out a line like that without going into Foghorn Leghorn mode – “Drew. Barrymore. That’s a JOKE, son!”
HibbletonMay 19th, 2011 at 10:33 am [Reply]
Veronica’s blouse unbuttoned, not wearing a bra or t-shirt underneath while eating a peach whose juice is apt to run down her neck and unto her . . . Best. Archie. Ever.
MW: Drew, just marry the girl and take her back to Peace Village already. Better for us and better for your patients.
pugfugglyMay 19th, 2011 at 10:36 am [Reply]
@Maggie the Cat (#61):
Question: Did everyone in the 70s talk like Uncle Phil in FBOFW?
90s TV certainly conditioned me well: the first thing I thought of when I read that was “Fresh Brince of Fel Waire….?”
It’s usually FOOB, or reFOOB here, isn’t it? I don’t know, I haven’t read it since Fresh Prince was actually on….
Bill PeschelMay 19th, 2011 at 10:43 am [Reply]
@Hibbleton (#66): You forgot to mention that she has her blouse open so she could rub the peach juice all over her–
And with Betty next to her, they’ll–
Oh. My.
Maggie the CatMay 19th, 2011 at 10:43 am [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#63): Whew! Yeah, I think every guy in my family had porn ’staches in the 70s, *shudder*, and my dad had a BeeGees beard.
Mark BMay 19th, 2011 at 10:45 am [Reply]
Drew needs to get assertive. Tell Liza to give him BOTH of the Hombres tickets so he can take his new girlfriend to the game. In an ironic twist, his new girlfriend is Mary. You didn’t see that one coming, did you?
Who am I kidding. EVERYONE saw that one coming.
Maggie the CatMay 19th, 2011 at 10:45 am [Reply]
@pugfuggly (#67):
Of course I was talking about the Fresh Brince!
Alan's AddictionMay 19th, 2011 at 10:47 am [Reply]
Actually, I see nothing biologically wrong with today’s “Shoe” and its implications of birds eating other birds. After all, there are some birds of prey that are adapted to eat an almost entirely bird-based diet (such as falcons), and it’s really no stranger than humans eating other mammals (such as cows). What does bother me is that the artist hasn’t gone to any pains to indicate that the birds in question are raptors, nor has the writer given any indication of such. This leads me to believe that the writer is unaware that his strip features anthropomorphic birds, and that the artist is unaware of the writer’s ignorance. This would explain a lot, such as birds making references to using airplanes as a means of transportation (rather than a bird-killing machine) and going to bars to meet members of the opposite sex (rather than performing a mating dance). Although, to be fair to the writers, I think I’d prefer willful ignorance to knowing that I was giving speech to a bunch of feathered abominations.
I’m delighted to report that the part of Coach Kaz will, for this subplot, be played by John Travolta, who beefed up dramatically to obtain the part. The writers initially wrote the part for Travolta, feeling that a cocaine-fueled comic-strip tribute to the free-wheeling bands of the 70’s and 80’s would be better-served with another, older icon, who most already associate with the 70’s and 80’s, in one of the main roles. Asked to comment about the role, Mr. Travolta said, “I have no idea what I’m doing. The writers just gave us a half-ton of high-grade, illegal stimulants and shouted, ‘Go! BE Coach Kaz!”
A note to Dr. Drew: In order to actually break up with someone, you have to stop sleeping with them. I know, it’s a bummer. But you have to weigh the pros and cons of not having to deal with Liza ever again, versus mediocre sex and being forced to shout, “I don’t love you anymore, get away!” every time you see her, all the while her cold, dead eyes boring into your soul.
May 19th, 2011 at 10:54 am [Reply]
6Chix – Please welcome special guest star June Morgan!
A3G – Ooh, are they going to take some pictures of Paul’s wedding dress?
Bizarro – Amen.
BlC – What @KarMann (Y237) said.
DT – I’m trying to decide whether that look would be more unsettling if Sam thought it was cocaine or flour in those bags. In any case, yikes. Don’t let this man back in a food plant.
FW – Everyone’s already beaten me to the Hemingway line, so I’ll just say this: GNARGHLHRHRGLllfffk.
H&L – You know what happens to stool pigeons, don’t you, Dot?
JP – …yep.
Love Is… – Little Naked Girl is looking pretty not-mauled after passing a baby half her size.
MT – And then Squirrel, Ender of Worlds, leapt from the tree and crushed them all beneath His fuzzy white tummy.
MW – *shudder*
Phantom – “Ah well, I’m sure taking a bullet hasn’t pulverized any of my internal organs or anything!”
Popeye – I am officially not going to think about panel three. At all. Ever.
RMMD – So, like everything else about him, Dex’s testimony has proved to be completely useless. Big surprise.
SM – Phrase of utter hilarity: “You’re even strong enough to render Spider-Man unconscious!”
Rocky StoneaxeMay 19th, 2011 at 10:55 am [Reply]
A Slice of Cheesecake —
Reading the comics in bed:
http://oldposters.3h-lacke.ru/album/adv_big.php?&big=131
Scott BotMay 19th, 2011 at 10:57 am [Reply]
@Maggie the Cat (#69): Oh, yes, I remember those days. I was too young to grow one, but most of my relatives had porn ’staches back then. Our family reunions always looked like the garage area at a NASCAR track.
Captain Plaid PantsMay 19th, 2011 at 11:06 am [Reply]
Mark Trail: “IT PUTS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN, OR ELSE IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN” (I haven’t caught up on comment reading, so I assume I’m not the first to make this reference?)
Funky: I don’t get Les. Don’t get me wrong, only a self-absorbed masochist with poor self-esteem and a Messiah complex could ever really “get” him, but even so, I’m lost. He writes a book and he manages to be unhappy by its success? Now he’s just TRYING to be a douchebag.
Judge Parker: So we give bad art a lot of crap, so I felt compelled to give credit were credit is due. Check out Judge Parker today, especially the coloring. Now compare JP’s coloring to the washed out pastels of A3G or the cartoony coloring of MT, RMMD, or S-M. And the girl in the last panel looks like a real woman, not an Uncanny Valley automaton ala Mary Worth. Seriously, that’s some decent art. I applaud Judge Parker today.
SequelManMay 19th, 2011 at 11:07 am [Reply]
Family Circus: My newspaper has the strip where the melonheads put yellow police tape around the end table in the living room so Billy (?) doesn’t get away with busting the lamp.
Question: Why do they have yellow crime scene tape hangin’ around the house… easily within reach of the lil’ melons… I mean, it’s not Halloween, when that stuff is used for decoration… so, what kind of family has this stuff on hand? Strange how these neo-Mansons would want to draw attention to their fetid criminal behavior.
May 19th, 2011 at 11:08 am [Reply]
DtM: Thanks to a complete lack of sex education and home or in school, Dennis and his cohorts don’t even know the word “birth.” That’s kind of menacing in a afraid-for-our-future kind of way.
Walker of DogMay 19th, 2011 at 11:09 am [Reply]
@Maggie the Cat (#23): Would you mind checking out today’s Phantom? Does that second panel make any sense when you read it aloud? Because I got nothing.
@Old School Allie Cat (#55): I call dying mad-scientist mother who has tasked Paul with finding a suitable body for her planned brain-transplant.
Sorry – upgrade.
No, sorry – implant.
May 19th, 2011 at 11:12 am [Reply]
FW: Yep – To Have and Have not and For Whom the Bells Tolls were such awful films. Sweet mercy in heaven get over yourself. boiled down your book is “My wife was sick and then she died. I am sad. Sometimes I smirk.” And since neither you nor the sainted Lisa are interesting people you’re not giving a producer much to work with here film being a visual medium and what not. So just shut your pie hole.
MW: One rabbit stew coming up.
TaggedMay 19th, 2011 at 11:14 am [Reply]
Dustin: Today’s strip is emblematic of why I loath it..’nuff said.
Mark BMay 19th, 2011 at 11:20 am [Reply]
DT: This scheme is going to unravel as soon as Junior relays to Dick the story about the fraudulent flour from Gertie. This isn’t going to be a hard one to solve, folks.
ElkMeadowMay 19th, 2011 at 11:22 am [Reply]
Just caught this while searching for something else.
Dark Horse has begun the Brobdingnagian task of reprinting all Archie comics. That’s a welcome project for comics fans and historians, but one off to a rocky start.
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/books/2015078883_archie19.html
Walker of DogMay 19th, 2011 at 11:23 am [Reply]
Jumb: It’s not |J|U|M|P| |T|H|E| |S|H|A|R|K|? So close!
MT: John Thrasher: “You’re the first human I’ve caught!”
Mark: “Oh, that explains all these dinosaur bones!”
Andy: ???
Plug: This seems like a lot of fuss for a flea dip.
Phan: “Help me, Big Red Circle of Off-panel Communication – you’re my only hope!”
8CL: Fernanda’s master plan is working. By lying on Seth all week, she has cut off the blood circulation to his testicles; they should drop off tomorrow. Then Seth can bronze them and wear them on a necklace, or something.
KatyMay 19th, 2011 at 11:30 am [Reply]
I want to see Coach Kaz trying that masterful technique with Coach Glory. Because Coach Glory, if you remember, and I think you do, encouraged all her players to smack Al-Jo around playfully, and then when the team surged to a hormone-fuelled win, glanced up archly to acknowledge the success of … the success … of …
I’m embarrassing myself, aren’t I?
KatyMay 19th, 2011 at 11:31 am [Reply]
@Captain Plaid Pants (#76): [points] what he said about Les. Are we seriously supposed to take Les seriously? Seriously?
markytomMay 19th, 2011 at 11:32 am [Reply]
MW: Drew could really play this to his advantage, “the wild sex last night was great, Liza, even though we broke up!“
TrixMay 19th, 2011 at 11:34 am [Reply]
Who is that women sitting in the Dagwood chairs next to Mr. Lodge? The maid? Veronica’s mother? Who the hell is that? Curious mudgettes need the answer! Really, no one else noticed?! Maybe Veronica has a little brother too…Very suspicious if you ask me.
Duke of Earl GreyMay 19th, 2011 at 11:36 am [Reply]
So in other words, Coach Kaz is holding out… for LESS money? George Costanza would be proud.
Maggie the CatMay 19th, 2011 at 11:41 am [Reply]
@Walker of Dog (#79): It’s not exactly sensical, no. Just random bolding. I used to work with a woman who seemed to have no control over the pitch and volume of her voice. She seemed to have a lot of random bolding when she spoke. It was weird. I also take exception with him saying the bullet “bounced”. Unless it was a rubber bullet, I don’t think bouncing is the appropriate term.
Artist formerly known as BenMay 19th, 2011 at 11:48 am [Reply]
GT: First negotiating tactic, threaten to choke a bitch. Hey, Kaz really is a natural for the management biz.
MW: Liza’s willful and relentless obliviousness to Drew’s breakup attempt has reached/descended to the level of a Saturday Night Live skit. Unlike most SNL skits it gets funnier as it goes along, at least so far.
DT: I don’t like the way Sam is looking at those sacks. My hope is that he’s an unspoken addict jonesing for a fix, but I fear it’s more of an unhealthy flour fetish.
DtM: The tragically stupid Dennis Mitchell has learned that the stork doesn’t bring babies. Now he believes that they’re delivered by Steve Jobs.
SL: As far as entertaining, irredeemible pricks on the comics page go, Hawthorne has nosed past Rat and left Bucky Katt in the dust.
9CL: Seth, if it’s any comfort, your pretentious bullshit appalls me.
RMMD: Turns out the smartest officer in the police department is the guy they borrowed from the Village People.
6C: I dunno, the wife dressing like Harry Potter crisis?
C-Shaft: If this storyline ends with Ed tied to a chair as Juan Valdez stubs out a cigarette on his shoulder, I’ll be a happy camper.
BB: Louise Lugg is really falling down in her job as the distaff Sarge. Doesn’t she know that Bella is supposed to walk on her hind legs and wear a uniform?
JP: “Again, that’s The Chambers Affair, available at fine bookstores everywhere and from Amazon in ebook format. Dennis Lehane says ‘I’d blurb this if the price was right.’”
Archie: Yeah, it looks like she does know about the health benefits of eating peaches, among other things. It looks like Betty has taken an interest in her skin too. Veronica’s blouse is unbuttoned, so this is just getting good.
ShrugMay 19th, 2011 at 11:51 am [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#13):
“Okay, favorite female character in today’s comics: Pam from BR or Alice from CdS? Or the mama dog in DtM…”
I’d vote for Gramma in PICKLES, unless the giant squirrel in MARK TRAIL is female, in which case no contest*. Honorable mention to Bella, the cat in BEETLE BAILEY. Ruthie in ONE BIG HAPPY is usually a contender for this honor, but I didn’t think today’s appearance was one of her best. Sally in SALLY FORTH gets Ms. Congeniality, and Tiffany in LUANN as usual gets the Ms. Uncongeniality award.
(*And of course the giant squirrel in MARK TRAIL gets the Favorite Giant Squirrel Character in Today’s Comics trophy.)
Vince MMay 19th, 2011 at 11:54 am [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#83): If that is every comic book title, I’m going to have to build a library annex just for the years 1958-1968 I’m intent on getting. Hope they come out in my lifetime…
RoktoberMay 19th, 2011 at 11:57 am [Reply]
If the closing lines of this Mary Worth storyline are “kikiri kikiri kikiri” I will take back every snide thing I have ever said about the comic.
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 19th, 2011 at 12:01 pm [Reply]
Baby – “We’ve already written off Zoey and Hammie, so let’s start worrying about when Wren starts driving. Wait, she’s already about a year old? Screw her. Let’s start worrying about the next kid.”
Crock – I expect the Desert Code boils down to something like: “Us do opposite of all Earthly things! Us hate beauty! Us love ugliness! Is big crime to make anything perfect in Crock World!”
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 19th, 2011 at 12:02 pm [Reply]
Doonesbury – Trudeau was blindsided by events today! Maybe this really is the end of the world.
Mark – “I’LL HELP YOU OUT MR. TRAIL! Good thing I’ve got my stick!”
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 19th, 2011 at 12:03 pm [Reply]
Marfield – Worried about stepping on something? I think you mean “stepping in something.”
Mary – Just dig a hole in the forest and push her in with a stick, Drew. We won’t think any the less of you.
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 19th, 2011 at 12:04 pm [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#209): Sounds kind of like Jack Handey.
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#y215): Here’s my favorite team name — well, apart from the UCSC Banana Slugs, of course.
@Chip Whittle (#y222): Shouldn’t that be “2XL calling CQ”?
No, “GQ,” because it was a fashion joke. Anyway, if I’d been concerned with quoting the original verbatim, rather than merely invoking it, I’d have said “2X2L” instead of “2XL.”
@Trix (#88): Really, no one else noticed?!
Well, if you ignore the two or three comments that talked about it, then yeah.
May 19th, 2011 at 12:06 pm [Reply]
Good heavens, how could I have missed the 17 May Thatababy?!?
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 19th, 2011 at 12:10 pm [Reply]
Irish dancing.
my mind iz broken.
Fox Trottin’.
corgi :p.
life can be hard with stumpy legs.
Scott BotMay 19th, 2011 at 12:11 pm [Reply]
@Katy (#85): I’m embarassing myself, aren’t I?
Yeah, but we don’t really mind.
I do feel better, I thought I was the only one seeing the weird overtones with Gil Thorp’s female baseball team.
cheech wizardMay 19th, 2011 at 12:13 pm [Reply]
In the real world, some people have sex with an ex. In the chaste world of Mary Worth, they go to baseball games.
DoodMay 19th, 2011 at 12:15 pm [Reply]
Pluggers: Don’t Pluggers just lick themselves or preen as a means of grooming?
Scott BotMay 19th, 2011 at 12:16 pm [Reply]
Archie – According to Wikipedia, that there is Hermione Lodge, Hiram’s adoring wife.
Which kinda ticks me off, because I always thought he was a widower, and was all ready with a bunch of snarky comments about Mr. Lodge being so rich he can get away with letting his paid escort hang around the house reading the paper without anyone saying a word.
Effluvius ErratusMay 19th, 2011 at 12:18 pm [Reply]
@cheech wizard (#102): Maybe it’s a metaphor…you know, fouls balls, corked bats, spittle-covered dugouts, etc.
Walker of DogMay 19th, 2011 at 12:19 pm [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#91): Sam will hit bottom when he shows up tomorrow, naked and oiled up, shouting “Bread me…BREAD ME!”
@Maggie the Cat (#90): Thanks for trying – I feel better that it’s not just me.
Walker of DogMay 19th, 2011 at 12:21 pm [Reply]
S-M: Martine: “You’re even strong enough to render Spider-Man unconscious!… Oh wow, I’m sorry. That’s was really patronizing.”
MW: Liza: “I’m okay because I know we’ll get over it! And because someday I will kill you and eat you, so we can be together forever!”
Shoe: Roz isn’t taking his order. She’s just punching up her suicide note.
FW: Tomorrow: The Ghost of Ernest Hemingway is pissed.
Gene S.May 19th, 2011 at 12:22 pm [Reply]
FW – I know this isn’t revolutionary or anything, but for the record, Les Moore sucks. Why can’t his wife be alive and have him dead? Then we would know the book about “Les’ Story” would actually be entertaining because we get the thrill of knowing he dies at the end.
Scott BotMay 19th, 2011 at 12:28 pm [Reply]
GT – It’s probably a good thing that Buzz accepted Kaz’ offer. I’m fairly certain he wouldn’t want to wake up with a horses head in his bed tomorrow morning.
trey le parcMay 19th, 2011 at 12:29 pm [Reply]
Shoe: This strip is so tired it practically wheezes off the page.
Old School Allie CatMay 19th, 2011 at 12:37 pm [Reply]
@Roktober (#94): Oh, you just took it to a whole new level. That is, without a doubt one of the creepiest movies ever. My husband should be proud of exposing me to culture that improves my experiences with Comics Curmudgeon!
commodorejohnMay 19th, 2011 at 12:38 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#101): Oh hell no. You couldn’t miss it. (Really it was only a matter of time before the bizarre homoerotic-subtext sports dialogue affected the Milford girls’ teams, I think.)
DoodMay 19th, 2011 at 12:47 pm [Reply]
Judge Parker: “I took my client up to see the view!”
“That must have been some view, amiright?”
The RidgerMay 19th, 2011 at 12:48 pm [Reply]
ps – I hope everybody who kept insisting that this Mary Worth was all about the evils of technology realizes that it’s just about a crazy person – the best kind of Mary Worth, by the way.
SpundeMay 19th, 2011 at 12:48 pm [Reply]
FW: The whole point of buying the rights to a book is that you don’t have to invite the author to production meetings. If Les were more, he’d be imagining himself in shocked horror in the 17th row at the screening.
Either that, or the optioners are something like MeganAndKyle Productions, whose business address is a Cal State Northridge dorm.
Rocky StoneaxeMay 19th, 2011 at 12:50 pm [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#98):
I don’t have a favorite team name, but this one is pretty high on the list:
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoYjQ0usz5P8D_LKKfrzqwC4gSe6cDU-VKy36ZgopWjDnRnyjIoeCF1_HQEYCrzsXiLs_hl6tbIua1ahNPKz6JlnaTEOId_3dWZk4FJAibwQfArZFb31i_2l1rrW5el8tMAFtbCX_t1Ds/s400/TN+sign.jpg
Effluvius ErratusMay 19th, 2011 at 12:55 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#Y112): Here’s a little soporific for you (NSFW). Sweet dreams!
ShrugMay 19th, 2011 at 12:57 pm [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#98):
“Here’s my favorite team name — well, apart from the UCSC Banana Slugs, of course…”
And let us never forget the Scottsdale (AZ) Community College Fighting Artichokes.
Rocky StoneaxeMay 19th, 2011 at 1:00 pm [Reply]
Mark Trail and Mary Worth — If the excessive bolding is any indication, Mark Trail and Dr. Drew have a bad case of coffee nerves:
http://www.thecoffeebazaar.com/wp-content/uploads/mr%20coffee%20nerves.jpg
KatyMay 19th, 2011 at 1:04 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#112): I am practiced at seeing homoerotic subtext in almost everything, so the Glory Alcala storyline, I just don’t know what to do with it. There’s no sub there. It’s all super. Very, very super. I just kind of stretch and roll around in it, and sometimes I put a warm cloth over my eyes.
[realizes she actually typed all that out loud]
[slinks off]
May 19th, 2011 at 1:05 pm [Reply]
@Shrug (#92): Who wins the “Most Likely To…” award?
@Effluvius Erratus (#117): Not as bad as the Popeye original. One doesn’t need to be a Freud to see its inferences.
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#119): I wouldn’t sleep either, knowing that prevert is creeping around my back door.
TheDivaMay 19th, 2011 at 1:16 pm [Reply]
@The Ridger (#114): Why can’t it be about the evils of technology employed by crazy people? That way everybody’s happy!
ApemanMay 19th, 2011 at 1:20 pm [Reply]
A couple date. The man realizes its not a good idea, so he breaks up Apeman
May 19th, 2011 at 1:21 pm [Reply]
@Apeman (#123): Stupid HTML tags. My fail completely ruined my post. =(
cheech wizardMay 19th, 2011 at 1:22 pm [Reply]
Big Dog – Of course he went to Yale. Who do you think brought them Geronimo’s skull?
FW – “Oh Les, and before you go? Next time I phone you from beyond the grave, TAKE THE FUCKING CALL!!!! You almost got killed that day! You think I want your mopey ass hanging around all the time any sooner than I have to? The past 15 years have been sheer Heaven!”
bats :[May 19th, 2011 at 1:23 pm [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#117): well, if Baka isn’t having bad dreams, I am! Yeeerch!
Pseudo3DMay 19th, 2011 at 1:24 pm [Reply]
I am out of snark. 9CL is bad as usual, nothing too weird in DT today, MT’s not even funny today, Spider-Man failing again, GT and its mullets, A3G and its masculinity-challenged men…
Pseudo3DMay 19th, 2011 at 1:26 pm [Reply]
FW: You know, now that Batiuk has been known…twice…to break the rules of reality (his dead wife calling him from the afterlife, Funky going back in time), it would be entirely plausible to have Becky’s arm grow back. That can’t happen, however, because that’s a Good Thing to happen to Not Les.
cheech wizardMay 19th, 2011 at 1:32 pm [Reply]
@Pseudo3D (#128): It’s been at least three times. You forget Les’ crappy book becoming a bestseller and getting optioned by Hollywood – oops, make that four.
Scott BotMay 19th, 2011 at 1:34 pm [Reply]
After his exciting appearance in yesterday’s Pluggers: http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2011/5/18&name=Pluggers
Reed Hoover has branched out to make a guest appearance in today’s Beetle Bailey: http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20110519&name=Beetle_Bailey
(and this would have been a lot funnier if I knew how to use html)
seismic-2May 19th, 2011 at 1:34 pm [Reply]
@Carl Barks Fan (#y250), @McManx (#36), @Trix (#88): Mrs. Lodge does show up sometimes, but since her appearances are so infrequent that I never can remember just what she looks like. (After all, the “homemaker” character in the Lodge portion of this strip is in fact the butler, so Mrs. Lodge is in many ways superfluous, insofar as stock comic strip roles are concerned.) She was in a comic book that I bought a couple of months ago, though, so tonight when I get home I want to find it so that I can check out her hairstyle. I feel that if she (or anyone else) had ever worn that “pagoda” hairdo in panel #1, I would surely have remembered it.
HibbletonMay 19th, 2011 at 1:38 pm [Reply]
Marm: “Hey, dopey dog. At least I’m smart enough to wear a hat when I park my lawn chair under a bird house while you prance around your feces-strewn yard barefoot. Yale, my ass!”
The RidgerMay 19th, 2011 at 1:39 pm [Reply]
MT: John Thrasher: “You’re the first human I’ve caught!” After all, most of them manage to spot the giant hole with absolutely no attempt made to camoflauge it, as proved by the total lack of vegetation on the floor or anyplace around the edges… Say, are you sure you’re a human?
cheech wizardMay 19th, 2011 at 1:41 pm [Reply]
MT – So a stick got Mark into this hole and a stick’s going to get him out. Unless Thrasher’s just going to stand up there and poke him with it, which would be a lot more entertaining.
Dr. WeirdMay 19th, 2011 at 1:43 pm [Reply]
@Pseudo3D (#128):
Regarding Becky’s arm growing back… that’s a comic-book thing, getting a healing factor… Though Wolverine appears after the early-mid silver age period that Batuik draws on (literally, in some cases).
But you know, there was a character who DID lose an arm and got it replaced by an artificial one, Lightning Lad of the Legion of Super-Heroes.
http://www.studiosanning.shawbiz.ca/legion_of_super-heroes/chronology/ad332/cover.htm
Imagine Becky as Lightning Lad and Wally as the Super Moby Dick of Space in that cover!
The RidgerMay 19th, 2011 at 1:43 pm [Reply]
@Alan’s Addiction (#72): Actually, Cosmo is a fishhawk. I don’t know what the hell Roz is supposed to be (and I’m not looking it up). Shoe’s a Purple Martin.
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 19th, 2011 at 1:49 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#121): Not as bad as the Popeye original. One doesn’t need to be a Freud to see its inferences.
The Oids are actually “The Creature from the Id” in Forbidden Planet. The director was horrified by their appearance in the film and had their sequences redone so that their awfulness was only hinted at. Bud Sagendorf knew one of the animators, and the image stayed in his mind for thirty years before he finally exorcised it in the Popeye strip.
@cheech wizard (#134): So a stick got Mark into this hole and a stick’s going to get him out. Unless Thrasher’s just going to stand up there and poke him with it, which would be a lot more entertaining.
This will all end with Mark looking serious and intoning “He lived by the stick… and he died by the stick. Oh, well. Pancakes!”
May 19th, 2011 at 1:50 pm [Reply]
As a public service, we now repeat today’s comics for the hard of reading: In the high country, Mark Trail is in a hole dug by John Thrasher, who will help him out. In Santa Royale, Dr. Drew is in a hole that he dug himself, and it’s getting deeper.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled comics page. Thank you, and have a pleasant evening. (Apologies, of course, to the original SNL.)
Mark BMay 19th, 2011 at 1:51 pm [Reply]
Hm, I’ve never read Reynolds unwrapped before. Today’s strip is actually funny, although it’s kind of a cheap shot. I’ll have to add it to my list to see if it’s consistently good or not.
Puzzled in PeoriaMay 19th, 2011 at 1:58 pm [Reply]
MT: Jesus saves. With a stick?
ElkMeadowMay 19th, 2011 at 2:01 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#99):
Rex only sees one patient a week.
commodorejohnMay 19th, 2011 at 2:02 pm [Reply]
@cheech wizard (#129): Now, now, Les’s book getting optioned is perfectly plausible. In a world where a movie about Arnold Schwarzenegger being pregnant (and you better like that joke, because you’ll be seeing a whole fucking lot of it) can make it all the way from concept to product and get a real honest-to-God theatrical release, the idea that some coke-addled idiot could look at a book about a woman dying of cancer and think “instant box-office score!” instead of “meh, we could stash it with all the other Lifetime scripts in the vault” is probably the most plausible thing since the time-jump.
Artist formerly known as BenMay 19th, 2011 at 2:08 pm [Reply]
Curtis: Michelle is powering up? Breaking wind? If she does both at the same time, Curtis really needs to run and save himself.
Popeye: For perhaps the first time in her life, Olive expresses sympathy for another being. Too bad she’s about to be assaulted by a giant walking penis.
Artist formerly known as BenMay 19th, 2011 at 2:11 pm [Reply]
@Walker of Dog (#106):
Sam will hit bottom when he shows up tomorrow, naked and oiled up, shouting “Bread me…BREAD ME!”
And that’s when he’ll need to start attending support group meetings with Dagwood Bumstead.
bats :[May 19th, 2011 at 2:16 pm [Reply]
@Pseudo3D (#127):
I ‘m all out of snark, there’s nothing to snipe at
Not Dick, Mark or Gil–is Seth really that long?
I ‘m all out of snark, what am I to do now
There’s always Jumble–no doubt that I’ll get it wrong
May 19th, 2011 at 2:20 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#116): The University of South Carolina’s team name is the Gamecocks.
In Richmond, VA, their minor league baseball team was the Richmond Braves (farm team for the Atlanta Braves, of course), until that team moved… here, to the Atlanta area. Now Richmond has the Flying Squirrels.
@commodorejohn (#142): RE Schwarzenegger: The Daily Show did a string of chyron jokes with puns on Arnold’s movies, and noted that they didn’t even have to change some of the titles, but they didn’t mention Junior. Maybe they thought it was too on the nose.
Scott BotMay 19th, 2011 at 2:24 pm [Reply]
That cat from the Schoolhouse Rock video ‘Naughty Number Nine’ clip sure gets around , doesn’t he?
Artist formerly known as BenMay 19th, 2011 at 2:32 pm [Reply]
@UncleJeff (#39): I can believe that’s a real law, but it doesn’t sound like a good law to me. Especially in Derek’s case, since a gigging musician is going to work in a lot of places where they serve alcohol, and you have no control over whether they serve it wisely. So I’m just as happy to suspend my disbelief here.
cheech wizardMay 19th, 2011 at 2:34 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#142): I suppose they could make it work with some minor tweaking. Lisa would still die, of course, but they might change Les into a woman. Then they could release it as a remake of Beaches, so they could at least get some people into the theater and eventually fool night owls into watching it on late-night cable.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 19th, 2011 at 2:36 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#145): awww. and here I figured that Lio was enough to make your day.
Bill ThompsonMay 19th, 2011 at 2:39 pm [Reply]
@HeraldBass (#38): It would be cool if sunlight destroyed Martine and Morbius. But, this being the wimpy Spiderman strip, it’s more likely that sunrise will cure vampirism, leaving behind two mortified and very human ex-vampires. A scolding will ensue.
Peanut GalleryMay 19th, 2011 at 2:44 pm [Reply]
@KarMann (#Y236):
Note that Holland’s associate is Mr. Oates. Holland… Oates…
(RMMD) His flunky is Holland Dikes. His funky is Holland Oates.
Les of the Jungle PatrolMay 19th, 2011 at 2:45 pm [Reply]
Pearls before Swine is certainly edgy today,as Rat is obviously sporting an erection under his snuggie. I guess he /really/ likes hitting pig.
Pseudo3DMay 19th, 2011 at 2:47 pm [Reply]
You know, what’s sad about FW is that there ARE better puns out there. Even when the Specialist Snowflake tore her ACL, someone pointed out that the last panel dialogue could read “We’re not visitors, we’re the home team!”
In this case, since Les wrote “Lisa’s Story” and was encouraged by Lisa’s soul, the book was in fact, “ghost-written”.
Scott BotMay 19th, 2011 at 2:47 pm [Reply]
@Peanut Gallery (#152): I can’t go for that. No how. No can do.
cheech wizardMay 19th, 2011 at 3:00 pm [Reply]
@Esther Blodgett (#42): Hemingway did say that every true story ends with a death. But crappy ones are just getting warmed up.
Rocky StoneaxeMay 19th, 2011 at 3:01 pm [Reply]
@The Ridger (#136):
Shoe’s a Purple Martin.
Shoe’s favorite watering hole:
http://visitwpb.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/blue-martini-front.png
Peanut GalleryMay 19th, 2011 at 3:02 pm [Reply]
JP:
“OK, lady… What were you doing up on that roof?”
“Changing my dress. Red, blue, red, blue… I just can’t decide! Oh, and also my hair color.”
May 19th, 2011 at 3:03 pm [Reply]
FW: The dialog this scene needs? Louse channels Forrest Gump: “Life in Westview is like a box of chocolates: you never know what kind of cancer you’ll get.”
Little Old MeMay 19th, 2011 at 3:12 pm [Reply]
@Old School Allie Cat (#111):
What movie is that? I love creepy movies and am always on the lookout for ones I haven’t seen yet.
Peanut GalleryMay 19th, 2011 at 3:15 pm [Reply]
@Patrick (#24): The solution is obvious. Give the wooden post its own strip.
Mark BMay 19th, 2011 at 3:26 pm [Reply]
Liza: Remember, Drew, when you said you wanted to break up with me?
Drew; Mphhh …. mph … [muffled screams]
Liza: Yes, you were all confused. You were sick, weren’t you? But I helped you and now we are together forever.
Drew: Mphh … Aghhh … mmmhel … mmppelp.
Liza: Yes, forever! I’m so happy.
ArchieNemesisMay 19th, 2011 at 3:34 pm [Reply]
Archie: Veronica’s head wobble, and imminent nip slip, remind me of a line from Steve Miller’s song “The Joker.” As a sophomore in high school, I wrote this line on a piece of paper, and handed it to the beautiful girl who sat next to me in math class. She literally turned bright red. The note said, “I really love your peaches, wanna shake your tree.”
GabachoMay 19th, 2011 at 3:36 pm [Reply]
Mary Worth – Ah, Dr. Drewchebag. Liza is just using the same approach on you that Mary used on your father when he asked her to marry him at your twin’s wedding. Liza’s completely and totally ignoring your wants and needs. I bet you find that arousing, don’t you, Drewchebag? Yeah, just like Daddy does.
KatyMay 19th, 2011 at 3:36 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#155): Is it possible to die of an earworm? If it is, I hope it’s quick.
AnansiMay 19th, 2011 at 3:38 pm [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#143):
Curtis: Michelle is powering up? Breaking wind? If she does both at the same time, Curtis really needs to run and save himself.
Michelle(to Curtis):Let me ask you, does a maroon like yourself ever experience fear ?!?!
Rocky StoneaxeMay 19th, 2011 at 3:40 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#8):
More Weird Sound Effects:
Lio — ZZZZIIPP
Molly & the Bear — RING RING
Pajama Diaries — BANG… BANG
Dogs of C-Kennel — MUNCH… MUNCH
Daddy’s Home — TEXT TEXT TEXT… SWIPE!
Zack Hill — MUNCH! CRUNCH! CRUUUNCH! CHEW!
Red & Rover —
http://www.gocomics.com/redandrover
Fata MorganaMay 19th, 2011 at 3:40 pm [Reply]
The current Mary Worth storyline is absolutely delightful. Can we continue escalating it, please? Have Liza break into Drew’s house and crawl into bed with him? Have her start wearing an engagement ring and claiming it’s from Drew? Showing up on his dates unannounced and introducing herself to his date as Drew’s wife, and then sitting down as a third as if there were nothing unusual about it? In fact, could Liza do this in every situation, ever, just inserting herself into people’s lives in the strip while they emphasize that they don’t like her and wish she would leave, while she acts as if it’s all part of their wonderful relationship? I feel like it would make Mary Worth the best strip ever. Liza could be like the ghost of Mary Worth, except not dead – just walking around not interacting with the people around her, but pretending she is. Kind of like Lisa from Funky Winkerbean, except creepy in a good way.
cheech wizardMay 19th, 2011 at 3:43 pm [Reply]
Archie – Know what goes great with peaches? Cream. Someone needs to tell them about all those hormones in milk.
Scott BotMay 19th, 2011 at 3:44 pm [Reply]
@Katy (#165): If it makes you feel any better, I got it stuck in my head, too.
Old School Allie CatMay 19th, 2011 at 3:44 pm [Reply]
@Little Old Me (#160): It’s a foreign movie called Audition. It came out in Japan in 2000.
It’s… worth seeing. Weird, but worth seeing.
bats :[May 19th, 2011 at 3:47 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#150): just responding to Pseudo3D’s lament.
Lio batted .1000 (or several dozen, at least!).
May 19th, 2011 at 3:54 pm [Reply]
MW – I wonder how long this is gonna take. Will we have to sit through days of this inanity? “We can work well together ALTHOUGH YOU RECOGNIZE, OF COURSE, THAT I’VE TAKEN YOU OFF MY SPEED DIAL.” and “Hand me that scalpel ALL THE WHILE TAKING INTO ACCOUNT THAT WE ARE HISTORY.” and “Call me at the golf course if this patient takes a turn for the worse PAYING HEED TO THE FACT THAT THE SIGHT OF YOU TURNS MY STOMACH.” Geez.
CyranettaMay 19th, 2011 at 3:54 pm [Reply]
MW: I am convinced the endgame of Liza’s story is for her to FINALLY get the point (maybe if Drew starts speaking in Comic Sans bold italic) and then get drunk out of whatever is left of her mind with Jill, thus giving Mary an irresistible meddleworthy situation.
Baka GaijinMay 19th, 2011 at 3:54 pm [Reply]
@Peanut Gallery (#161): Seconded!
Peanut GalleryMay 19th, 2011 at 3:56 pm [Reply]
@Katy (#165): Fortunately, I don’t mind having that song stuck in my head. I’m a lot less tolerant of the one bats :[ used, though the alternate lyrics are great.
bats :[May 19th, 2011 at 3:58 pm [Reply]
@Peanut Gallery (#152): play everyone off, Keyboard Cat!
(This absolutely kills me…)
May 19th, 2011 at 4:07 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#170): Mutually Assured Destruction isn’t normally comforting, but yes, in this case, it does make me feel better. A little.
CalicoMay 19th, 2011 at 4:09 pm [Reply]
I thought Kaz was a blonde, not a John Travolta wanna-be! Ugh.
Little GuyMay 19th, 2011 at 4:21 pm [Reply]
GT/MW Mashup: Coach Kaz: I’m your new therapist. Let’s pretend to counsel. Drew, you say, “I’m glad we’re okay with each other even though we broke up” and “It’s a relief we can still be on good terms despite not being a couple,” and, Liza, you’ll nod your head.
Tom the Sailor ManMay 19th, 2011 at 4:21 pm [Reply]
@Fata Morgana (#168): In fact, could Liza do this in every situation, ever, just inserting herself into people’s lives in the strip while they emphasize that they don’t like her and wish she would leave, while she acts as if it’s all part of their wonderful relationship?
Isn’t that just business as usual for Mary? Maybe Liza is in training as a meddle-surrogate and Mary is watching from afar, critiquing.
Dr. WeirdMay 19th, 2011 at 4:29 pm [Reply]
MW
Haven’t Liza and Drew been dating for all of two days, three at most? Shouldn’t her unhinged, stalker-like tendencies have become immediately apparent given the high level of commitment she sought after mere hours of meeting for the first time?
Say, what if Mary talks to Liza first, gets her skewed side of the story and then starts meddling DREW for not treating her properly, or for coming back from ‘Nam in the first place? That would be hilarious and somewhat interesting.
LiamMay 19th, 2011 at 4:30 pm [Reply]
MT-I feel sorry for Mark, whatever falls into John Thraser’s pit traps he eats.
Little GuyMay 19th, 2011 at 4:33 pm [Reply]
Mark Trail/Li’l Abner Mashup: Lena Hyena: A MAYYYYYYYY- YAAAAAAN!
demoncatMay 19th, 2011 at 4:50 pm [Reply]
mw sadly the look on liza face is saying that as much as drew hopes she got the message in her mind they will be a couple the beginings of her becoming a stalker. the look of shock on cosmos face and roz glare have them surprised shoe even keeps up with politics like the u.n. though only two things on the menue hint at canibilism.
ArchieNemesisMay 19th, 2011 at 4:52 pm [Reply]
@ArchieNemesis (#163): Upon further reflection, it’s worthwhile to note that I also included the preceding line of the Steve Miller lyric in my note: “You’re the cutest thing that I ever did see …” So, I had at least the teeniest bit of subtlety. Man, did I pass around a lot of notes to girls.
God, do I miss the 1970’s.
May 19th, 2011 at 4:56 pm [Reply]
@cheech wizard (#156):
Would that make those stories warm crap?
bats :[May 19th, 2011 at 4:57 pm [Reply]
@Little Guy (#184): would also seem to work as a Mary Worth/Li’l Abner mashup.
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 19th, 2011 at 5:00 pm [Reply]
@Mark B (#139): When the “#3″ race driver died, I suggested that the pissing Calvinoid should have a tear in his eye, and somebody told me over and over that this simply would not happen! You may remember that day, because it was also the day Humor died.
@Peanut Gallery (#152): His flunky is Holland Dikes. His funky is Holland Oates.
And what’s his Opus? [*]
May 19th, 2011 at 5:09 pm [Reply]
@Liam (#187): Well, they’re not hot shit, regardless of what Batuik thinks.
CanuckDownSouthMay 19th, 2011 at 5:11 pm [Reply]
@Dr. Weird (#182): I’ve been crossing my fingers for that one, but guess that at best Jeff will apply why-aren’t-you-settling-down pressure and Mary will be on the right side of the situation
Mark BMay 19th, 2011 at 5:13 pm [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#189): Watterson wept.
VioletMay 19th, 2011 at 5:14 pm [Reply]
Please tell me Drew uses this same technique on patients who are resistant to accepting unfavorable prognoses. “How are you today, Mr. Thompson, factoring in that you only have six weeks to live? It’s quite a lovely morning, even though you’re dying.”
PowersMay 19th, 2011 at 5:21 pm [Reply]
Birds eating birds is not cannibalism, any more than mammals eating mammals is.
cheech wizardMay 19th, 2011 at 5:25 pm [Reply]
MW – I’m beginning to think that maybe Liza isn’t a stalker after all. She’s actually a very green CIA recruit in the process of botching her first assignment, which was to obtain intelligence on current developments in Vietnam and ascertain the extent of Drew’s communist sympathies and the nature of any material support he and his father may be providing to the regime.
Right now, Liza’s desperately trying to salvage her mission, an effort that will end when Drew finally turns on his heel, not noticing the hypodermic concealed in her hand. When he comes to, he’ll be strapped to a board in a dingy basement with Liza looming over him.
“So! Am I that disgusting?” she yells. “Am I?! AM I!!!?? You just couldn’t kick back and take the easy route, could you, you bastard? Well, if kisses won’t loosen your lips, maybe waterboarding will…. and if the rough stuff gets you really hard, maybe we can still have sex after?”
littlestevieMay 19th, 2011 at 5:25 pm [Reply]
@This Guy (#146): And the women’s sports teams are knwn as the Lady Cocks?
ChowderMay 19th, 2011 at 5:30 pm [Reply]
The word emphasis in Mary Worth is questionable, to me. Who are they trying to convince, exactly?
This GuyMay 19th, 2011 at 5:46 pm [Reply]
@littlestevie (#196): Sadly, it appears they’re simply the Lady Gamecocks. I did, however, find this page with the slogan “We Rise.” The ‘cocks rise. Really, South Carolina? Oh, wait. Yes, really.
fuzzmasterMay 19th, 2011 at 5:47 pm [Reply]
Letter to the Cleveland Plain Dealer, complaining about the scandalous doings in Funky Cancerbean:
“I would like to think that you have reached the bottom of the barrel, but after 70 years of reading The Plain Dealer, I have learned to never underestimate your ability to go to any ends to further your liberal agenda. I await the next outrage with bated breath.”
Can you guess what the horrendous behavior was that got this reader upset? Big hint: It does not involve cancer or death.
commodorejohnMay 19th, 2011 at 5:51 pm [Reply]
@fuzzmaster (#199): Michael F. Ward has a very, very weird definition of “cutesy little rainy-afternoon tryst.”
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 19th, 2011 at 5:52 pm [Reply]
@fuzzmaster (#199): Les getting some of Kayla’s brown sugar would be my first guess.
Mr. O'MalleyMay 19th, 2011 at 5:55 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#50): Friday on Wednesday
If you’re interested in Jack Webb, one of our local radio stations had this show on yesterday:
Jack Webb 2.0: Webb in SF
Wednesday May 18 at 10:AM to 2:PM
Hosted by J. Edward Dick
Jack Webb’s radio career began in San Francisco, at KGO, where his duties included announcing broadcasts of Bob Wills and his Texas Playboys and producing and hosting shows that ranged from comedy and variety to civil rights. Many of Webb’s early radio dramas originated in San Francisco, among them Jeff Regan: Investigator, Johnny Modero, Pier 23 and Pat Novak For Hire.
Webb in SF will include shows not played in last year’s Jack Webb special and recording not in the KGO archives nor in the Bay Area Radio Museum.
That was yesterday, so what good does that do me?, you may ask. But it’s not too late. All shows are archived for two weeks at http://www.kfjc.org.
This GuyMay 19th, 2011 at 6:21 pm [Reply]
@fuzzmaster (#199): Yyyyeah. Batiuk’s author avatar has been spending his time 1) bitching that his book didn’t get enough respect and response, 2) displaying open contempt for the hordes of readers who inexplicably adore his verbal drippings, 3) generally behaving like an utter dick to all around him because he’s a SERIOUS AUTHOR, DAMMIT, and 4) reacting with horror at the notion that those awful, awful Hollywood Philistines displayed an interest in adapting his “work,” which (see above) doesn’t get enough time in the public eye. This isn’t to mention the way he behaves as though he is the first and only person to lose a loved one to cancer. But hey, that’s all perfectly fine and an excellent example for the kiddos–it’s UNMARRIED BOINKING that letter-writer can’t abide!
bourbon babe, unbuckledMay 19th, 2011 at 6:44 pm [Reply]
@Fata Morgana (#168): I’d be happy if Liza just acted like the cat that adopted me in the Philippines and left me early-morning gifties on my front stoop. But instead of a dead rat, Liza could trot up to Drew’s door with a freshly killed salmon square in her mouth and deposit that for him—probably only slightly grosser than the rat was.
wossnameMay 19th, 2011 at 6:47 pm [Reply]
@This Guy (#198): Logically, they should be the Gamehens, although that doesn’t seem to have any more traction than the idea that various “Lady Bulldogs” should be Bitches. And as a resident of the state next door, I can tell you that there have been myriad Gamecock jokes/real banners etc. over the years, along the lines of “You can’t beat our cocks!”
ElkMeadowMay 19th, 2011 at 6:53 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#204):
There was a cougar that left a dead deer on some neighbor’s lawn. Somehow I think Liza is more like the big cat than the kitty cat.
fiiidgetMay 19th, 2011 at 6:53 pm [Reply]
I’m pretty sure that someone just jotted down an outline of what ideas need to be conveyed during Drew and Liza’s conversation, and someone else accidentally thought it was the actual script and just went with it.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 19th, 2011 at 7:08 pm [Reply]
@fiiidget (#207): I weep at the likelihood of this.
the other alternative is that a tee-time intervened.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 19th, 2011 at 7:14 pm [Reply]
34 seconds of frantic fennecs.
for True Fable.
sqweetahs.
bourbon babe, unbuckledMay 19th, 2011 at 7:18 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#209): Lolly wants to know how those critters got into my laptop and why they’re making so much noise.
commodorejohnMay 19th, 2011 at 7:19 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#208): Can’t be a tee time. In the comics industry only men golf, so Karen Moy’s out, and Joe Giella suffers from an acute inability to track objects persistently through space over time, the tragic source of the constant, intricate dance of people, sets, and camera angles seen in Mary Worth – which naturally makes marking the spatial relation of the ball, hole, and golfer impossible.
The Not So Great OneMay 19th, 2011 at 7:29 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#100): I chose you Pikithulhu!
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 19th, 2011 at 8:04 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#210): d’awwwww. *scritches for the Lolly* (btw, a belated happy B-day, bb,u.)
Any one who wants an extra dose of fennecsquee would do well to follow the url at the end of that vid, to the youtube channel of the poster, and from thence to their blog. It’s in Korean(?) but o MY are there some mighty kewt fennic pics there.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 19th, 2011 at 8:05 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#211): *SNURK*
o, well PLAYED, sir!
bourbon babe, unbuckledMay 19th, 2011 at 8:38 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#213): Thanks for the bhb-d for bb,u! =-)
No_SnarkMay 19th, 2011 at 8:49 pm [Reply]
ohh my god, I almost didn’t believe Mary Worth was real today. I laughed incredibly hard out loud, LIHOL!
UncleJeffMay 19th, 2011 at 8:51 pm [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#148): Just to clarify: Wisconsin legislators were asked last year to throw out a law which bans underage people from performing in bars (it’s an old law aimed at stopping bars from forcing teen girls to strip and the law was upheld even though the father of a 12 year old guitar whiz pointed out how silly it was that his son couldn’t perform at blues jams in bars but could drink booze if he was sitting alongside his father).
In a case like the GT strip, if the cops are called to a place (house party or bar) where minors were being served alcohol, the high school athletes could lose their athletic eligibility unless they could prove they were trying to leave when they could tell there was illegal consumption.
And there is a built-in perception into the athletic codes that the athletes (and their coaches) should know better than to let themselves into such a situation.
May 19th, 2011 at 8:53 pm [Reply]
@Powers (#194): Birds eating birds is not cannibalism, any more than mammals eating mammals is.
Yeah, but in the world of Shoe, a bird will date any other bird. To consume, as food, somebody you would feel sexual attraction for is sick sick sick.
May 19th, 2011 at 8:53 pm [Reply]
@Peanut Gallery (#158): Yup, looks like we got a little continuity problem with the coloring monkeys.
seismic-2May 19th, 2011 at 8:53 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#211): Ironically, today’s Classic FoxTrot reprint is relevant to that.
Vince MMay 19th, 2011 at 9:02 pm [Reply]
@Calico (#179): I always figured Coach Kaz looked like Coach McGuirk from ‘Home Movies’ and we were seeing his impression of himself.
The RidgerMay 19th, 2011 at 9:02 pm [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#218): Have we seen chickens and ducks? Maybe they’re still tainted by their domestic status in the days of old, when the featherless bipeds ruled the world instead of the feathered ones…
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 19th, 2011 at 9:03 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#215): wish I could have been there to see who jumped out of your cake. :-P
bourbon babe, unbuckledMay 19th, 2011 at 9:06 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#223): In an odd twist, Mark Trail fell into my cake, and I had to fish him out with a large stick.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 19th, 2011 at 9:12 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#224): well, at least Andy and Lolly had fun together? :-)
Esther BlodgettMay 19th, 2011 at 9:36 pm [Reply]
@fuzzmaster (#199): I have to agree with the letter writer. The thought of Les getting it on is pretty disgusting.
TerrapinMay 19th, 2011 at 9:42 pm [Reply]
MT: Ha ha! Mark is the first human dumb enough to fall in John’s pit. And that includes all the inbred, banjo pluckin’ yokels who wander through the mountains on a daily basis.
bourbon babe, unbuckledMay 19th, 2011 at 9:43 pm [Reply]
@Terrapin (#227): Careful there—Rusty is just one banjo shy of a Deliverance cameo.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 19th, 2011 at 9:46 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#228): yeah, upside the haid. . . .
teenchyMay 19th, 2011 at 9:46 pm [Reply]
@wossname (#205):various “Lady Bulldogs” should be Bitches
As an alumnus of the state university of the state next door to that state next door, I can assure you we referred to our own women’s teams as the Bitches.
JessyMay 19th, 2011 at 10:07 pm [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#52): Good point. Though she might sneak into Grandpa’s room to text Drew 20 times or so if he had managed to shake her for ten minutes . . .
Jamus The BartenderMay 19th, 2011 at 10:11 pm [Reply]
Slylock : Okay, in the first panel, the wife asks the husband why in hell he’s leaving his socks everywhere and why is he such a goddamn slob, and the husband replies to quit riding his ass all day, I gotta hear it at work, then come home to more of the same? Bullshit. Then he storms off to the tavern.
Panel two, the wife asks if he bought the catfood like she asked, and is roast beef okay for dinner.
May 19th, 2011 at 10:12 pm [Reply]
@This Guy (#203): “Unmarried Boinking.” If it’s not a song, it should be.
commodorejohnMay 19th, 2011 at 10:15 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#233): I believe it’s the new hit single from Billy and the Boingers…
Rocky StoneaxeMay 19th, 2011 at 10:16 pm [Reply]
@Roktober (#94):
If the closing lines of this Mary Worth storyline are “kikiri kikiri kikiri” I will take back every snide thing I have ever said about the comic.
Audition was directed by Takoshi Miike, who appears to be quite a character:
http://content8.flixster.com/photo/13/01/47/13014754_tml.jpg
This GuyMay 19th, 2011 at 10:20 pm [Reply]
@wossname (#205): As a resident of the same state and former student of that state’s main public university, I can corroborate what you told me. Which is to say I know. Any week leading up to a game against South Carolina was cause for high hilarity around campus.
Rocky StoneaxeMay 19th, 2011 at 10:22 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#235): D’oh, it’s “Takashi” — like the cereal!
ElkMeadowMay 19th, 2011 at 11:15 pm [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#147):
Sure does.
Jocelyn KnockersburyMay 19th, 2011 at 11:16 pm [Reply]
Mmm. Delicious Takashi Miike references.
DaveyKMay 19th, 2011 at 11:50 pm [Reply]
Since showing up at her apartment with flowers in order to break up with Liza, Drew has inserted into every sentence something along the lines of the fact that they are not a couple and that they are totally broken up. Meanwhile, Liza has followed him everywhere, insisting with every utterance that this is just a temporary situation which will only make their love grow stronger.
Is it just me, or do these two have the least dysfunctional relationship in the history of Mary Worth?
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 20th, 2011 at 12:09 am [Reply]
Has Dr. Drew even considered the possibility that it might be Backwards Day?
ElkMeadowMay 20th, 2011 at 12:09 am [Reply]
Baka Gaijin! Do NOT click on Friday’s Bizzaro!
RMMD Even Stella knows about the lottery ticket. Now she’s going to have Rex open the safe to make sure it’s there, and she’s going to use the sharp end of the broken broom to make sure she has it. Either that or Rex realized that the two “police officers” might be wearing borrowed uniforms and have high-tailed it with the ticket in Riley’s tool box.
MW Mary’s a volunteer at the hospital, and she still hasn’t wandered into Liza’s story? But then, she also didn’t meet Jill until the big shopping day, and we know how that went: *$^@ or however it’s spelled.
Bill ThompsonMay 20th, 2011 at 12:15 am [Reply]
The Amusing Spiderman: It’s contagious, isn’t it? This vampiric power to not see someone jump up and fight. And it’s an interesting tautology: If Morbius is stronger than Spiderman, and MJ is stronger than Morbius, where does this leave Spiderman when MJ wants the couch and remote?
FW: Yes, even if the movie is perfectly awful, the book will still be there. On the remaindered table. Or under it, propping up that uneven leg.
MT: Dude, the other day you answered to the name of John Thrasher. It’s a bit late to pretend you didn’t reveal your name. And it still leaves everyone wondering how Andy got out of that pit.
Rocky StoneaxeMay 20th, 2011 at 12:18 am [Reply]
Piranha Club — Ernie finally pops the question:
http://www.jsonline.com/comics/32402404.html?feature_id=Piranha
bats :[May 20th, 2011 at 12:51 am [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#244): Doris is pregnant?! Is Ernie the father?
Sgt. SaundersMay 20th, 2011 at 1:08 am [Reply]
GT: Wow, I wonder what life would be like with a name like “Buzz Marco”.
CanuckDownSouthMay 20th, 2011 at 1:12 am [Reply]
@Bill Thompson (#243): re FW: The book isn’t popular enough for the remaindered table; it’ll be in the dollar store’s clearance section.
ElkMeadowMay 20th, 2011 at 1:25 am [Reply]
I don’t think I made my warning clear enough:
Baka Gaijin! Do NOT click on Friday’s Bizzaro!
Alfred E. NeumanMay 20th, 2011 at 1:28 am [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#50): @Mr. O’Malley (#202): Jack Webb was a comics guy, in addition to producing radio shows, Dragnet, Adam-12, Emergency, and appearing in Sunset Boulevard? Wow, that’s impressive, but still not as impressive as the fact that he was once married to Julie London. Yowza!
bats :[May 20th, 2011 at 1:31 am [Reply]
Well, I feel better, particularly at Les’ expense…
PoteetMay 20th, 2011 at 1:40 am [Reply]
5/20 MT — John Thrasher has a point. WHAT’S this all about? Is Mark supposed to bodily drag him back to civilization, or interview him, or head back and report to his father that he still seems fit and robust, or arrest him for trespassing on private land, or arrest him for damaging public land with that massive pit, or what?
By the way, John, love the crazy fringe — I had a vest like that in ‘69. But I think you looked better when your hair and beard were brown.
ElkMeadowMay 20th, 2011 at 1:41 am [Reply]
@Alfred E. Neuman (#249):
I remember his skit on the Tonight Show, where he and Johnny Carson went at each other with Copper Clapper Caper tongue twister as a crime report. Jack Webb, all the way!
ElkMeadowMay 20th, 2011 at 1:46 am [Reply]
Good night, all!
KarMannMay 20th, 2011 at 2:53 am [Reply]
5/20 Baby Blues: Mark Trail: The Early Years
Mr. O'MalleyMay 20th, 2011 at 3:28 am [Reply]
Doonesbury: Sorry, Zonker, Camping has an explanation for that. But it would be more realistic if the neighbor sold his Mercedes and his house to pay for bilboards.
KarMannMay 20th, 2011 at 3:48 am [Reply]
5/20 Speed Bump: Look! It’s Paul Linski, from A3G!
Mordock999May 20th, 2011 at 4:46 am [Reply]
Today’s Luann – 05/20/11
The School spent that donated 225 bucks on a Ladies Room Mirror?!?
Way to GO, Ms. Phelps.
I’m SURE the Guys at Pitts High will appreciate THAT mirror, too!
Right BEFORE they get EXPELLED for being in the Ladies Room…..,
_____________
DEATH to TJ!!!
May 20th, 2011 at 5:39 am [Reply]
“I’m the band’s new manager. The result of this negotiation will depend on who has the creepiest hands.” I feel the other guy’s lady-vampire hand deserves more respect.
John C FremontMay 20th, 2011 at 6:14 am [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#210): Now I’ve got “Lolly, Lolly, Lolly, Get Your Adverbs Here!” stuck in my head.
@Mr. O’Malley (#202): And I’ve got Jack Webb’s recording of “Try a Little Tenderness” stuck in my head. Life confuses me.
JP – Dr. St. John. So she’s a physician and a saint? She must be like – like Jesus. I’ll bet she’s at the top of tomorrow’s rapture list. Don’t jump, Emma! You’ve got so much to live for! Well, you know, for the next, uh, 24 hours, more or less.
Écureuil ÉcumantMay 20th, 2011 at 6:26 am [Reply]
@NFL jerseys (Soon-to-be-ex#258):
Hey! I wanna know what’s the difference between the cheap beats and the beats. Oh, the beats are dipped? Kewl.
gleebMay 20th, 2011 at 6:46 am [Reply]
Cheap, beaten NFL jerseys by Dre.
A 3-G: What kind of scam are A3GGuy and his mother running that they need a fake “wedding” photo?
‘bean: It would be an example of “the book was much, much worse than the movie”. Creepy Les is the Mario Puzo of our time (or whatever time this is supposed to be after all the time-jerks).
Constance Darling, tireless publicist!: “Police do not” what? Actually, I don’t think there’s much the NYPD don’t do.
Phantom: When did you figure that one out, Poindexter?
Piranha: This would be touching if they didn’t both have a look of dull surprise.
Rocky StoneaxeMay 20th, 2011 at 7:48 am [Reply]
@NFL jerseys (#258):
Cheap NFL jerseys cheap
beats by dre
Beats by dre
cheap beats by dre
Dr. Dre says “cease and desist”:
http://www.rap-wallpapers.com/data/media/39/dr_dre_3.jpg
ArchieNemesisMay 20th, 2011 at 7:53 am [Reply]
It’s doubly-bad artwork Friday:
Gil Thorp: That old guy’s so stressed, the bags under his eyes have bags.
Mark Trail: John Thrasher is so manly, his beard has a beard.
A3G: Paul Linski’s hair is so wavy, his cowlicks have cowlicks.
Love Is: Marco is so orally fixated, his lips have lips.
May 20th, 2011 at 8:13 am [Reply]
MT: Major plot point … How the hell did Andy get out of the pit before Mark was able to shimmy up the log? I think mountain man has underestimated the dog. Any canine who can climb trees more quickly than a human can’t be quickly dispatched for barking too much.
Mark BMay 20th, 2011 at 8:18 am [Reply]
DT: Hot Rize’s career as a crime boss is unraveling quickly. She probably never should have quit her previous job as a ventriloquist’s dummy.
This GuyMay 20th, 2011 at 8:34 am [Reply]
FW: This is usually the argument I use on fanboys who moan far too much about the latest Hollywood adaptation. Now that Batiuk said it, I just feel dirty.
HotC: Shouldn’t that be “going doe”?
Marvin: Why even bother?
Pluggers: Yeah, those transistor dealies are so newfangled and unnecessary. They weren’t even invented until my grandmother was a teenager (or before she was born, depending on whom you ask.)
SS: Ha ha! Jughaid will never grasp basic numeracy.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 20th, 2011 at 8:49 am [Reply]
Lio: everything is better with catapults!
CdS: surreal and wonderful..*applaz*
Archie: Show don’t Tell!!
Bizarro: HAH! (Baka Gaijin should probably avoid this one.)
DT: and look to be on it.
Pluggers: everything takes a while to warm up. . . .
RwO: *gigglez*
SB: has been reading A3G.
a couple of webcomic notes: Smokey the Bear is a cock-blocker. (who knew?) and last panel Hannalore is just freakin’ ADORABLE! (sqwee)
Uncle LumpyMay 20th, 2011 at 8:55 am [Reply]
Cleanup on aisle #258. Mornin’, all!
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 20th, 2011 at 9:19 am [Reply]
today is squee deficient. :-(
LiamMay 20th, 2011 at 4:13 pm [Reply]
Zippy the Pinhead-If Zippy is going to be sitting in his car in the driveway then he shouldn’t have the engine running.
AshMay 20th, 2011 at 5:01 pm [Reply]
Uh oh … Liza’s going to be a bunny boiler, isn’t she?
marveeMay 20th, 2011 at 5:09 pm [Reply]
@The Ridger (#114): It was the last story about Dawn and her texting that was about technology. This one is about obsession. come to think of it, Dawn was obsessed too.
marveeMay 20th, 2011 at 5:14 pm [Reply]
This is really for everyone who has posted about FW. I have no pithy, cynical wisecracks to make. I seriously want to know who Les is talking to. They appear to be holding hands and it isn’t the woman he spent a rainy afternoon with recently.
daleMay 20th, 2011 at 7:17 pm [Reply]
@marvee (#273):
Your question confirms something I have been thinking about recently.
Anyone just picking up a Funky Winkerbean strip will have no idea what is going on. You have to read it for years and have a strong support group such as here.
Les is talking to his DEAD WIFE.
EmilyMay 21st, 2011 at 10:09 am [Reply]
Shoe: I don’t see what’s wrong with birds eating other types of birds. It’s no different than mammals eating other types of mammals (i.e. a human eating beef.)
Eric JMay 21st, 2011 at 11:46 am [Reply]
I often think to myself while reading the Spider-Man strip, “What would Christopher Lee do in this situation?” (Of cource I also asked this question while at the Super Market, trying to decide between Pepsodent or Aim brand toothpaste.)
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