Damn it, I thought that since the Rapture was going to happen Saturday there was no point in bothering with the comment of the week Friday night, but 6 pm has come and gone and we’re all still here, so might as well put it up.
“I can’t be the only one reading resentment and spite into Doris’s dialogue in A3G, can I? ‘I won’t be able to leave until I throw this into the crowd? Fine. Here you go, assholes! Now get out of my way.’ I mean, why else would she toss the bouquet like that, overhand and facing forward? My guess is she deliberately threw it at Paul because she wanted to make the other ladies sad. Meanwhile, poor dim Lu Ann just says what she sees. Five minutes ago, it was ‘Paul! You ate food!’” –thebirdgirl
And the runners up! Very funny!
“I’m trying to imagine you with all those pretty girls, Killer, but my vision is obscured by a cloud of pepper spray.” –NoahSnark
“The mournful words from her companion’s mouth were merely a dull buzz to Elviney. She had seen the perversion of the man, pale and smelling of powder and chemicals. While this had turned Loweezy away, Elviney could barely resist its sick draw. She would be back for the still man-thing, under cover of night, and she would have her way with it.” –Katie Cunningham
“I love how the little narration box has no punctuation at all. Ordinarily, I feel like your main character being shoved violently (by … a stick, I guess) into a pit of undetermined depth would elicit an exclamation point, or even an ellipsis to broaden the suspense, but not even the inkers give a shit about Mark anymore. ‘Yeah, yeah, shoved in a pit, possible broken limbs or railroad spikes, we get it, pass the tequila.’” –els
“Oh for a speech bubble shouting ‘It’s about twenty feet deep! Suck it, Trail!’” –The McK
“Mary Worth: You know how sometimes, when you’re watching a movie or reading a book, you’re all on edge because you know the protagonist is making a terrible mistake, but other times, you don’t care, because the ‘protagonist’ deserves whatever pain he gets? This is the second thing.” –Cloudbuster
“Isn’t Pastor Tuttle notorious for mooching food and other subsistence items from his grindingly poor flock? Maybe his thoughts are just another means to his nutritional ends, as in, ‘I could tell you Brother Travis’ destination for another slice of pie.’” –Dood
“Mark’s underground prison seems brightly lit for a hole in the ground. Why doesn’t he just climb up the electrical conduit and escape?” –AhClem
“Drew doesn’t even realize he’s already on another date with Liza as they skate together in the hospital’s indoor physical therapy ice rink.” –sporknpork
“I know this isn’t revolutionary or anything, but for the record, Les Moore sucks. Why can’t his wife be alive and have him dead? Then we would know the book about Les’ Story would actually be entertaining because we get the thrill of knowing he dies at the end.” –Gene S.
“It would be cool if sunlight destroyed Martine and Morbius. But, this being the wimpy Spiderman strip, it’s more likely that sunrise will cure vampirism, leaving behind two mortified and very human ex-vampires. A scolding will ensue.” –Bill Thompson
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This entry was posted on Saturday, May 21, 2011 at 06:01 pm and is filed under metaposts. | 172 responses to “” queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 21st, 2011 at 6:10 pm [Reply]
congrats to the floatriders. Nice to know that no one will be floating away and leaving all that candy unflung.
This GuyMay 21st, 2011 at 6:16 pm [Reply]
O, floatastic floaters. Verily, thou hast brightened our final day. Or you’re consistently funny on a regular weekend. One of those two. Do any candy companies make Rapture-themed chocolates? I wonder.
Katie Cunningham’s comment about necrophilia in Hootin’ Holler made me simultaneously laugh and shudder with revulsion, so particularly well done on that.
anty aMay 21st, 2011 at 6:17 pm [Reply]
Somebody just told me the rapture is at 6 Pacific time. We still have another 2 hours, 45 mins.
KarMannMay 21st, 2011 at 6:29 pm [Reply]
@anty a (#3): Nope, it’s 6 PM local time in each & every time zone. So, in e.g. New Zealand, it’s already 16½ hours late.
bats :[May 21st, 2011 at 6:41 pm [Reply]
Congrats to all the funnee floaters (and yay, I mashed The McK’s running up comment! That’s at least good enough for a Tootsie Roll wrapper!).
Vince MMay 21st, 2011 at 6:49 pm [Reply]
@KarMann (#4): So is it like the apocalypse predicted by the Church of the Sub-Genius where you can watch it on tv all day?
It’s come and gone where I’m at and everyone I know is still here. Well, not surprised at that…
May 21st, 2011 at 7:12 pm [Reply]
Right about now, Sally is seriously chewing out Linus in the pumpkin patch.
ElkMeadowMay 21st, 2011 at 7:12 pm [Reply]
*****************
Congratulations, floaters!
Cloudbuster, I thought that yours would be COTW!
*****************
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 21st, 2011 at 7:19 pm [Reply]
True Fable! I just remembered enough about that goat story to make it searchable. It’s a Whitman “Tiny Tales” (5-cent book) from 1960 called Soda Pop. One just sold last month on eBay for six dollars plus change. There are apparently two different covers, but the one I linked to is the one I remember.
Oh, and congratstothefloatersokaygottago.
Frank Lee MeidereMay 21st, 2011 at 7:25 pm [Reply]
Apologies for missing last week’s parade. The last couple of weeks have been rather chaotic.
I’ve got the Special Feature float for this week, though.
Frank Lee MeidereMay 21st, 2011 at 7:26 pm [Reply]
SPECIAL FEATURE FLOAT
This week saluting:
SPELLING
***************************
This Guy
JP: This reminds me–I seem to recall that when I was a kid, I almost never had to spell my first name for people. Now I almost always do. What changed?
KarMann
What, they couldn’t even spell “This”???
Artist formerly known as Ben
I thought the spelling of “This” was common knowledge.
Scott Bot
Well, a lot of parents are changing the spelling of names to make it more ‘unique.’ There are probably some out there that spell it ‘Thys.’
Lu Ann
“This.” Only one “L.”
Fashion Police
Or ‘Btfsplk.’
Scott Bot
Or ‘Kal-El.’
This Guy
I do love this crowd. Should’ve seen that one (those ones?) coming. Maybe it could be spelled Middle-English fashion, which would lead to dozens of variants.
JD RhoadesMay 21st, 2011 at 7:26 pm [Reply]
I wasn’t expecting to get taken anyway. I am kind of bummed there’s not a lot of free stuff lying around.
HOBART!May 21st, 2011 at 7:36 pm [Reply]
You people and your Rapture! There’ll be no Rapture without some fiscal responsibility and belt tightening!
KarMannMay 21st, 2011 at 7:43 pm [Reply]
@HOBART! (#13): Ease up, man!
Rana the Pedantic Wet BlanketMay 21st, 2011 at 7:45 pm [Reply]
Congrats to the floaters!
Rocky StoneaxeMay 21st, 2011 at 7:45 pm [Reply]
5-21 Weird Sound Effects:
Bleeker — CLICK (thebirdgirl)
Drabble — SPLOOSH! (NoahSnark)
Dick Tracy — BONK! WHAP! (Katie Cunningham)
Sherman’s Lagoon — WHAM! (els)
Plus, I’ll see that this week’s other top commenters — The McK, Cloudbuster, Dood, AhClem, sporknpork, Gene S. and Bill Thompson — also get their names on my list of Weird Sound Effects!
Snuffy SmithMay 21st, 2011 at 7:48 pm [Reply]
@HOBART! (#13): Heh, heh, heh. Loweezy and me sure had a bit of rapture. Arc. Arc. Arc!
bourbon babe, unbuckledMay 21st, 2011 at 7:59 pm [Reply]
MT: Because I don’t have to focus on surviving the Tribulations, I can wonder how in the hell John “You’ll Never Find Me” Thrasher could be holed up in a cave he found as a kid for two years with no one ever discovering him. And now that he’s ensconced Chez Fringe, what happens when all the other kids from town go to check out the big cave that every kid in town probably knows about? No stories about the scary beardy guy who lives there? Or maybe each of those large boulders is sitting atop the squashed remains of an eight-year-old boy.
Ned RyersonMay 21st, 2011 at 7:59 pm [Reply]
Nurse Liza Colby sez, it’s not the rapture lover, we’ve just hit a rough patch. Let’s go get a taco.
commodorejohnMay 21st, 2011 at 8:07 pm [Reply]
You know what would be the best thing ever? If Drew bitches to Mary about having a stalker, and she starts having Aldo flashbacks.
CloudbusterMay 21st, 2011 at 8:14 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#20): !! Joy!
MibbitmakerMay 21st, 2011 at 8:15 pm [Reply]
FW: THANK GOD!
Phantom: In any other universe, that would make no sense whatsoever!
Popeye: Uh, Popeye, they were get-able back when you stood by as they audibly did their dirty deed, while you DID NOTHING!
Uncle LumpyMay 21st, 2011 at 8:16 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#20):
I’ve thought since 2006 that Karen Moy is playing a long game. But then, I’ve raised self-delusion to an art form.
CloudbusterMay 21st, 2011 at 8:17 pm [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#8): You’re clearly a person of exceptionally good taste and discernment.
MibbitmakerMay 21st, 2011 at 8:18 pm [Reply]
“Marmaduke, live at the Apocalypse” (too late to cancel the strip now!)
Popeye: You know what’s more squicky than an oid?
A bunch of oids!
Artist formerly known as BenMay 21st, 2011 at 8:20 pm [Reply]
Congratulations to the COTW float-ees. Glad to read these gems again, or in some cases for the first time. For the record thebirdgirl’s gold medal entry would have made my own float (upcoming in moments) had Josh not so honored it.
Also, enjoying the view from Frank Lee Meidere’s Spellwagon.
MibbitmakerMay 21st, 2011 at 8:21 pm [Reply]
Watch, Popeye will meet a pair of oids named Ster and Hemmer — and their kid Creepaz.
Snuffy SmithMay 21st, 2011 at 8:22 pm [Reply]
@Mibbitmaker (#22): That Popeye and Olive need to lighten up. They need to do a bit a lovin’. I know, send them over here and we’ll have a foursome. Hell, maybe more. We’ll get Lukey and Elviney to join too. Arc. Arc. Arc!
(Jughaid: God, get me out of here! I don’t want to write any more of this stuff for Unk Snuf. Baka Gaijin! Please take me to England. I’ll be your servant! I’ll cook ya pancakes! I’ll strangle your toads! I know… I’ll kill clowns for you and hide their bodies where no one will find them! Just get me out of here!)
Artist formerly known as BenMay 21st, 2011 at 8:23 pm [Reply]
And here comes the refurbished hotdog cart, pulling along something bright and lovely.
—————————————————————————————————————————————————
Crank: I was pretty sure there couldn’t be anything worse than being friend-zoned. Obviously I was wrong, as Crankshaft shows us a definite case of being grandma-zoned. Oh snap, my fellow Mudges. Oh snap indeed.—Jim North
It’s pretty creepy when a pantsless bachelor refers to the neighboorhood teens as “Opportunity.”—Doctor Handsome
FW: Ha-ha, what a scamp that Owen is! With their hands stuck to their lockers, the seniors will have less chance of getting away when he takes out his semi-automatic and goes to town.—TheDiva
“Okay, we’ve called this meeting of the town council to find judges for the beauty pageant who will treat our local girls respectfully and make sure they feel safe. Hey, how about that lothario from the local Army base? I hear his name is ‘Killer’ — that’s got to be a good sign, right?”—Big Ted
Mark being poked in the back by a giant stick attracts the interest in a pair of bears – the only way Jack Elrod could add more gay subtext to the strip is to have Mr. Trail wear leather chaps.—NoahSnark
S-M (take 1): “Still dizzy from Ashton Kutcher being named to replace Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men, Spidey’s concentration fails him…”—The Spectacular Spider-Brick
Lockhorns: OK, the Shatner is all well and good, but you know what hairpiece in the window would really trump all the rest? Oops, I’ve said too much.—KarMann
FW – Take her advise, Les. Don’t let your imagination run away with you!
That way lies madness. Next thing you know, you will be sitting on a park bench having conversations with imaginary people.—Calvin’s Cardboard Box
MW – I’ve never had tickets to an Hombres Game – is that something like a Donkey Show? I kind of hope so.—Old School Allie Cat
Judging by the look on the caveman’s face in the final panel of BC, there’s a lot to be said about hiding in a patch of marijuana, too.—Black Drazon
FC – oops, Keane used the wrong captions. The speech balloon is supposed to say “Spare change? Anything? I need booze, uh, I mean food.” And the caption (Jeffy’s line) is supposed to say “Get a job, you bum.”—wossname
S-M – ‘You’re even strong enough to render Spider-Man unconcious.’ Uh, that’s not exactly something to be impressed by – all you have to do is give him the remote and point him towards a recliner. My seven year old could do that.—Scott Bot
Drew needs to get assertive. Tell Liza to give him BOTH of the Hombres tickets so he can take his new girlfriend to the game. In an ironic twist, his new girlfriend is Mary. You didn’t see that one coming, did you?
Who am I kidding. EVERYONE saw that one coming.—Mark B
GT: I predict the next sentence out of Hobart’s mouth will include the words “Final Solution.” He’s getting real, indeed.—Esther Blodgett
RMMD: Rex realizes that the cleaning lady knows too much and will have to be eliminated. Applying his vast medical knowledge, he accidentally gives her a shingles vaccination.—Walker of Dog
seismic-2May 21st, 2011 at 8:31 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#18): Yeah, it’s mighty rough up in the high country. You can’t survive up there, without Special Forces wilderness training. That is, unless you’re an 8-year-old kid. Or unless you kick back in your man-cave with your lounge chair, your picnic table, and your Patsy Cline fringed shirt.
CharterstonedMay 21st, 2011 at 8:34 pm [Reply]
Speaking of raptures, which characters, do you think, would be taken up from our beloved comic strips? I think it would be kind of nice if Cherry Trail, for instance, got some–she sure doesn’t have much rapture in Lost Forest. Dr. Jeff often looks like he’s been taken up already. Of course, I don’t think characters like Mary Worth or Mark Trail would even know what to do with it if they had the chance. Just wondering.
anonMay 21st, 2011 at 8:34 pm [Reply]
THIS JUST IN – Bill Rechin, CROCK creator, has passed away. :(
Further bad news: his son vows the strip will continue.
Alfred E. NeumanMay 21st, 2011 at 8:36 pm [Reply]
Congrats to the Floaters, er, the CC Floaters that is. Aw, what the heck, congrats to the Raptured Floaters, as well. While we’re waiting for the Floatfest to begin, may I recommend some light reading?
Esther BlodgettMay 21st, 2011 at 8:39 pm [Reply]
Josh, we were worried about you! We thought maybe someone had poked you in the back with a stick while bears looked on or something!
Yay to all the floaters! Worth the wait!
Esther BlodgettMay 21st, 2011 at 8:40 pm [Reply]
@anon (#32): Condolences to his family and all, but jeez, can’t you honor his memory by discontinuing the strip?
True BelieverMay 21st, 2011 at 8:42 pm [Reply]
No sudden disappearances around here either. The Rapture was a complete washout. In fact, it
Bill ThompsonMay 21st, 2011 at 9:12 pm [Reply]
@anon (#32): I hope the news of his death was delayed by a few days. A son’s first thoughts on his father’s death should involve something personal, not “Dad’s gone but don’t worry, we’ll continue that no-talent zone.”
Jesus ChristMay 21st, 2011 at 9:22 pm [Reply]
@True Believer (#36): Oh, hi, guys. Sorry I was late; traffic on the Celestial Turnpike was such a pain today.
KarMannMay 21st, 2011 at 9:24 pm [Reply]
@Bill Thompson (#37): No, one of the articles I saw said it was today (Saturday), of esphogeal cancer (a nasty way to go, from what I’ve heard).
KarMannMay 21st, 2011 at 9:25 pm [Reply]
@KarMann (#39): By which, of course, I meant “esophageal cancer”. I should really know better.
KinghasnoclothesMay 21st, 2011 at 9:36 pm [Reply]
Marmaduke: Who would of thought this comic would have a crazy spin on this end-of-the-world story? Bravo, old dawg!
bourbon babe, unbuckledMay 21st, 2011 at 9:40 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#20): Ooh, followed by another intervention (because the last one went so well), with such luminary interveners as Adrian, Dawn, and Wilber (the Intervention “B” Team), and Mary the Intervention Master pulling the strings.
After an hour or so of Adrian and Dawn’s insipidness, and of Wilber’s constant talking with his mouth full o’ sammich, Nurse Liza pulls out her smartphone and frantically Googles driving directions to “Aldo’s Curve.”
@Charterstoned (#31): Who is good and pure enough to be raptured? Luann of A3G, perhaps? Maybe Cherry, although she’s given to jealousy. Has Rusty ever sinned—unless “ugly” is a sin? Hmmm…. It appears that I associate goodness and purity with stoopidity.
I do have a nice vision of Mary Worth poolside in Charterstone, after her fellow denizens have been raptured up mid-pool party, a salmon square clutched in her fist as she shakes it futilely at the sky: “Why am I left behind? Kindness is my religion! Kindness, goddam it!”
Oh, and I forgot: Rapturous congratulations to the all the float-folk!
CanuckDownSouthMay 21st, 2011 at 9:49 pm [Reply]
Mary upset at being left behind? Never! That’s when she begins to cackle with glee for her time is nigh… she grins as she starts meddling people into that Mark of the Beast
Scott BotMay 21st, 2011 at 9:49 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#11):
SPECIAL FEATURE FLOAT
This week saluting:
SPELLING
***************************
Shouldn’t that be only one ‘L’?
Congrats to everyone on the floats!
commodorejohnMay 21st, 2011 at 9:51 pm [Reply]
@Bill Thompson (#37): Not to be horrible and callous and tasteless, but couldn’t Rechin himself simply continue to draw it? I mean, it’s not like it would get worse being created by a corpse.
(In all seriousness, though, that’s sad and sympathies to the family.)
Artist formerly known as BenMay 21st, 2011 at 9:52 pm [Reply]
@KarMann (#39): That’s the same kind Christopher Hitchens has. My heart goes out to him, even if he has frequently rubbed me the wrong way.
On a lighter note, I wonder who’ll take over Crock. Total fantasy, of course, but I think Robert Crumb could really turn it around.
KarMannMay 21st, 2011 at 9:53 pm [Reply]
Heh, someone on FB just reminded me of this old-ish Bizarro on the end-of-the-world subject (King link, so you might have to copy & paste to your address bar): http://content.comicskingdom.net/Bizarro/Bizarro.20091016_large.gif
PoteetMay 21st, 2011 at 10:08 pm [Reply]
Yay for thebirdgirl! And more yays for the funny floaters who ride with her! Good yucks all, and thank you!
I’m glad I’m still around so I can hope to someday ride the float again. Unfortunately, I’m less funny than obsessive. In particular, I’m obsessive about…
MT — I keep coming back (yeah, sorry, rant ahead) to the itty-bitty issue of who owns the land that Thrasher Dude has been wandering around on for two years. If it’s public land, he should not be digging large pits, setting snares, etc. It’s illegal. And very possible his staying there in the cave is also illegal.
If Thrasher owns the land himself, then presumably Daddy knows about it, so why doesn’t Daddy go up there and make contact himself? And if it’s someone else’s property, does Thrasher have permission to haul furniture up there, dig large holes, etc.? I’ll bet not. And I also bet the ownership issue will never be addressed even though it fucking well should be in a conservation strip! Sorry. Okay, done. Unless I feel goaded beyond endurance, on this subject I will rant no more, forever.
PoteetMay 21st, 2011 at 10:11 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#48): Sorry, the “possible” should have been “possibly.” Note to self — more preview, less rant.
bourbon babe, unbuckledMay 21st, 2011 at 10:15 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#48): Maybe John Thrasher in his cave is like Thoreau on Walden Pond—you know, he makes like it’s all wilderness, but he’s right outside of town, and he brings his laundry to his sister every weekend.
Bill ThompsonMay 21st, 2011 at 10:18 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#50): And after he makes his symbolic protest, he lets somebody else post bail for him. After insulting them.
Artist formerly known as BenMay 21st, 2011 at 10:23 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#48): Plotwise it could be a matter of “it’s only illegal if you get caught.” That is, the land belongs to the public, but no one goes to this remote area, so John Fucking Thrasher’s digging hasn’t bothered anyone. But you’re right that it’s a strange thing for a “conservation strip” not to deal with.
Bill ThompsonMay 21st, 2011 at 10:23 pm [Reply]
@KarMann (#39): Okay. Another article said that Rechin’s partner claimed he and Rechin’s son would continue the business. Nobody was bugging his son over this. (I dislike Crock, but not enough to wish death or anything on those involved.)
commodorejohnMay 21st, 2011 at 10:25 pm [Reply]
@Poteet (#48): I think Lost Forest is actually a time-displace section of pre-colonization America, so it’s all untamed wilderness that belongs to whoever makes it his own (presumably the natives have all gone to work at the casino.) That seems like the only sane appropriate explanation for the Mark Trail milieu.
True FableMay 21st, 2011 at 10:55 pm [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#9): GOAT!! Vintage GOAT!
maggie the catMay 21st, 2011 at 11:06 pm [Reply]
yay floatsters! alas, i wasn’t raptured either. my computer passed away thursday evening though so i might as well have been as life unplugged is exceedingly dull. i am way behind on my comics reading… is it still the same day in rex morgan? has liza made a rear view mirror decoration out of drews scrotum yet? is mark still in the pit shouting at the bushes? internet from my feeble phone has me in the dark. *sad face*
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 21st, 2011 at 11:13 pm [Reply]
@True Fable (#55): Vintage? That’s from 1960! I used to have that… oh… yeah, I guess it is kinda vintage at that. I’ll just totter off now.
Frank Lee MeidereMay 21st, 2011 at 11:14 pm [Reply]
@anon (#32): The name of the guy who did Crock was “Rechin”? Really? How oddly fitting.
Still, sad about his death and all. But — “Rechin”?
Frank Lee MeidereMay 21st, 2011 at 11:21 pm [Reply]
@Kinghasnoclothes (#41): But — what does the comic mean? Is God sending Marmaduke to fetch the souls of dogs, but he’s not obeying? And if he’s not obeying, why does he have a halo? If it’s not the souls of dogs, then what the hell did God ask Marmaduke to fetch?
I don’t understand!
Rocky StoneaxeMay 21st, 2011 at 11:25 pm [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#46):
I wonder who’ll take over Crock. Total fantasy, of course, but I think Robert Crumb could really turn it around.
Kevin Rechin doesn’t need Robert Crumb — or anyone else — to take over his father’s strip:
http://www.playillustration.com/ArtistPortfolioThumbs.aspx?AID=158
Frank Lee MeidereMay 21st, 2011 at 11:30 pm [Reply]
@Kinghasnoclothes (#41): Ohhhh! It’s the halo, isn’t it? Like a Frisbee. But he didn’t bring it back. And now all the dogs are worshipping him, thereby consigning their souls to hell for following a false god.
Funny.
commodorejohnMay 21st, 2011 at 11:37 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#60): But…but…getting a guy with actual artistic competence to draw Crock? What’s next, “jokes” that don’t make so little sense as to make you question your own sanity?
(Though given that Rechin the Younger apparently can draw, I’m suspecting he’s behind the sudden resurgence minor upswing in the art quality in Crock.)
Rocky StoneaxeMay 21st, 2011 at 11:40 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#60):
More artwork by Kevin Rechin:
http://www.robertliberace.com/photosForSite/ireland%20student%20artwork/kevinsketch.jpg
Artist formerly known as BenMay 21st, 2011 at 11:59 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#60): @commodorejohn (#62): Hm, yeah, an artist with actual chops working on Crock. How’s that gonna work? Kevin R had better at least write the strip by picking random words out of the dictionary.
Alfred E. NeumanMay 22nd, 2011 at 12:01 am [Reply]
@Poteet (#48) said: “MT — I keep coming back (yeah, sorry, rant ahead) to the itty-bitty issue of who owns the land that Thrasher Dude has been wandering around on for two years.”
Maybe the land is in Canada. That’s the place for guys who like to say, “I have no ho-ome!”
ElkMeadowMay 22nd, 2011 at 12:03 am [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#60):
Whoa! If Crock makes a Dick Tracy-like turn-about, newspapers might find their readshipship increasing!
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 22nd, 2011 at 12:04 am [Reply]
Must hold tongue… De mortuis nil nisi bonum! … gnghhhh!
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 22nd, 2011 at 12:06 am [Reply]
By the way, “retrovision” has a small number of MST3k shows. I’m watching “Last of the Wild Horses” as I write this. I also watched an Addams Family episode earlier. These here computers hold a heap of reruns!
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 22nd, 2011 at 12:16 am [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#68): Oh, and it has “My Mother, The Car”!
Having mentioned that, I can go sleep in peace.
Bill ThompsonMay 22nd, 2011 at 12:19 am [Reply]
FW: It’s sad, yet somehow credible in this strip, that an English teacher would not grasp the concept of “term paper.”
The Amusing Spiderman: “Finish him–Now!” Martine must have taken control of my mind, because I said almost the exact same words. Please finish this, before J. Jonah Jameson shows up and joins this tag-team knockout competition.
ElkMeadowMay 22nd, 2011 at 12:19 am [Reply]
Well. Prince Valiant has learned nothing as he stomps around in his slip.
And neither has Liza, but she lives in a world of the weirdest nursing scrubs, including a white capped nurse from the pre-1970s. But it looks like the vampires are going through the same thing over at Spiderman. He wants to stay human, which would be calling it quits, and she wants them to stay together, and will force him to do so.
At Rex Morgan, Dexter is the topic. Rex and June say that Dexter is confused, and it seems that the topic just stops short of saying he has dementia. He bought a television set before the big game. He bought the boat he’s been wanting for probably decades. He told Tony Amato to get lost, and then when he found himself kidnapped, got to the window and called for help, as apparently there was no land-line in the suite, and the hotel owner was in on the kidnapping.
I think all in all, Dexter has shown as much brains as Berna, who thinks that his going fishing will guarantee his drowning. So he told the staff at the store that they’d won the lottery; Berna hasn’t shut up about it since this whole arc started. So Dexter isn’t going to get any more than the minimum to stay in an assisted care facility, while Berna goes and buys the sports car and whatever else that she thinks will make her look thin and young.
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 22nd, 2011 at 12:24 am [Reply]
(I guess you’ll find more MST by going to Google Video and searching. Well, live and learn.)
Bill ThompsonMay 22nd, 2011 at 12:25 am [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#64): The scary thought is that both of the people who like Crock, like it for its appearance (damn. I almost said “style,” but that word implies some sort of effort. I just spent a minute trying to think of a word that described a total lack of visual appeal and artistic merit. The English language lacks a word which means anti-style.)
ElkMeadowMay 22nd, 2011 at 12:25 am [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#71):
He wants to stay human, which would be calling it quits, and she wants them to stay together, and will force him to do so.
I'm just wishing that Lisa would do this to Les…. It would be way more interesting to see McMasky on his tail, following him wherever he went. Sort of like in the seventh Harry Potter movie, where Death caught the two brothers, and sought for the third one.
ElkMeadowMay 22nd, 2011 at 12:33 am [Reply]
sigh….Preview, it’s your friend…..
Rocky StoneaxeMay 22nd, 2011 at 12:40 am [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#16):
Weird Sound Effects (Sunday Edition):
Curtis — SLAM! (The McK)
Henry — ZIP… ZOOM (Cloudbuster)
Oh, Brother! — GRAB! (Dood)
Broom Hilda — TOOT TOOT (AhClem)
Buckles — SQUIRT SQUIRT (sporknpork)
Piranha Club — DING… TWEET (Gene S.)
Blondie — KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK (Bill Thompson)
May 22nd, 2011 at 12:58 am [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#50): HAR! And whines at Sis when all the fringe doesn’t make it safely through the machines.
PoteetMay 22nd, 2011 at 1:00 am [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#52): Thank you. It’s nice when someone kindly validates my ranting.
PoteetMay 22nd, 2011 at 1:03 am [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#54): I appreciate that — repeating it to myself may held to ease my teeth-grinding.
PoteetMay 22nd, 2011 at 1:05 am [Reply]
@Alfred E. Neuman (#65): Blandthony AND Mark Trail? Poor Canada.
Frank Lee MeidereMay 22nd, 2011 at 1:11 am [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#69): I’ve not seen an episode of My Mother the Car since their original air dates, but I loved that show at the time. I imagine it was actually quite bad.
PoteetMay 22nd, 2011 at 1:15 am [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#71): I’m a little peeved. It’s kind of amusing to see a half-naked furious Val dancing around next to a ginormous rat, but it’s still no fair pulling non-humans into this stupid human feud. Even rats have better things to do than chew up sweaty tunics and swipe pink sachets. Stick to human slaves, Maldumb or whatever your name is!
Frank Lee MeidereMay 22nd, 2011 at 1:19 am [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#71): Bravo! (Or Brava, I’m not really sure which.) Well said! I couldn’t agree more. Dex is an unlikeable little chap, but Berna’s constant in-your-faceness is more irritating, by far. She is, as far as I’ve observed, kind of loathsome. And in any measurement of true character, “unlikeable” is superior to “loathsome.” So it seems to me, anyway, but maybe I’m being overly sentimental.
Mr. O'MalleyMay 22nd, 2011 at 1:27 am [Reply]
Pluggers: Is this from one of us?
Prince Valiant seems to be channeling Mark Trail.
RMMD: As usual, Rex jumps to conclusions without examining any evidence. I still maintain that Dex has some kind of learning disability, but he mostly seems to cope fairly well and I don’t see any evidence that he is getting worse. What @ElkMeadow (#71) said.
I have some friends who made out well financially, at least temporarily, and they bought a boat. My next door neighbor has a boat. Lots of non-demented people have boats.
FW: Les is unfamiliar with the concept of “memorizing sample essays”.
Mr. O'MalleyMay 22nd, 2011 at 1:38 am [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#81): It was a stupid unoriginal concept, poorly executed. It was a ripoff of My Favorite Martian and Mister Ed, neither of which were that great to begin with. I guess the idea was that with only three TV networks, someone was bound to watch it. I take it you were a child when you watched it, in which case I can see why you might have liked it.
Scarily, today, with hundreds of TV channels, it would probably be better than most of what’s on.
Baka GaijinMay 22nd, 2011 at 1:56 am [Reply]
@Snuffy Smith (#28): That Popeye and Olive need to lighten up. They need to do a bit a lovin’. I know, send them over here and we’ll have a foursome…Arc. Arc. Arc! If Loweezy’s involved, it’s a sixsome, minimum.
Special to Jughaid: Sorry to tell you, kid, Immigration wouldn’t let you in. Family tree with no branches and all that rot.
Chip WhittleMay 22nd, 2011 at 2:01 am [Reply]
Pluggers: “You’re a Plugger if you get your ladder out of the garage in the morning to clean out the gutters and it’s still leaning against the house at dusk, because you had a late lunch at the ‘All You Can Eat’ buffet and then a ‘big’ nap from 2:45 til 6:30.”
Good heavens, Pluggers has built up an immunity to snark.
And goodnight, Crock Numbers Station Cartoonist Incomprehensible Scribble. May you go gently into those…I guess they’re pearly gates? With a…camel wearing a belly-dancer costume? And…why is there a saguaro on Saint Peter’s desk? Making jokes about satellite TV interference? The heck?
ElkMeadowMay 22nd, 2011 at 2:04 am [Reply]
@Poteet (#82):
Stick to human slaves, Maldumb or whatever your name is!
Maldumb…I like that take on her name! Mauve did pulled in the raven first, so the birds and beasts are now involved. I wish Aleta’s daughter, Karen would show up; I bet that she’s had some practice and could do a great job.
@Mr. O’Malley (#85):
I liked “Mr. Ed.” I tried to watch “My Favorite Martian,” but I got lost at the antennas. I never did see “My Mother, The Car,” but I do remember watching “My Living Doll,” and wondering about the moles on my back.
Baka GaijinMay 22nd, 2011 at 2:06 am [Reply]
I’m only on my third Sunday strip but I have to declare…
BABY BLUES TOTALLY ROCKS TODAY! That little throwaway line at the end. Totally full of win.
Pluggers: It’s called “hibernation,” not a “big nap” when a bear’s involved.
Sally Forth: No wonder Sal gets along so well with Alice. She’s a female Ted Forth, but with manlier wrists.
ElkMeadowMay 22nd, 2011 at 2:06 am [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#83): @Mr. O’Malley (#84):
On behalf of Dexter, thanks guys. I hope he gets to keep the boat.
This GuyMay 22nd, 2011 at 2:08 am [Reply]
5/22
FW: Okay, I agree that kids shouldn’t be dicking around with their phones in class, but does this mean they’re not allowed to research their research papers? Intelligence doesn’t consist solely of being able to remember shit without looking it up. Then again, WRITING doesn’t consist solely of a whiny asshole getting his way…
@Frank Lee Meidere (#11): Hurai fur speling!
ElkMeadowMay 22nd, 2011 at 2:16 am [Reply]
Retail is not my favorite strip, but from time to time, it does ring true to my experiences. In Sunday’s the security team is found bound and gagged. The robbers didn’t do it–corporate did.
One of my coworkers was a “loss leader” which is now the name for what used to be store security. He followed a shoplifter out of the store, caught him and held him for arrest (the coworker was former military police). Arrest was made, and the coworker fired. There are plenty of other stories posted in the news from time to time about others who have stepped outside the store to get license plate numbers or to get back the till. Can’t confront shoplifters, except for the cheerful, “May I help you?” with eye contact, which is suppose to guilt the shoplifter into putting the stuff down. Any resistance to a thief and you’re fired. However, if a thief grabs your cash bag while you’re closing the till, and goes out the exit, you are fired. And it really doesn’t matter what you do–I just filled out another job application that says if I am employed with said retail company, I can be fired at any time, for no given reason.
Black DrazonMay 22nd, 2011 at 2:25 am [Reply]
I love the heavily shaded look on Dick Tracy’s face today. Someone messed with his extended family and he doesn’t care how badly they dress, he’s going to pull their coccyx out their mouth and throw them to Marmaduke. But he waits until he gets a warrant, because God dammit, Dick Tracy follows procedure when he liquidates someone, literally, in their biscuit machinery. And that is how you stay in business for seventy-nine and a half years.
Baka GaijinMay 22nd, 2011 at 2:29 am [Reply]
Slylock Fox: The facts that, in this county the Count and only the Count has a Class 4 laser from “Burning Lasers R Us,” sitting in his window, it’s pointed at the citizen’s window box, and it’s still warm to the touch, don’t count as evidence. Huh. Columbo wouldn’t even have had to light up a stogie to solve this one.
Thatababy: Sliding down a thousand degree steel sliding board in shorts in the summertime. Third degree burns make me all nostalgic. Oh yeah.
Dick Tracy: Junior was a product of Archie and a female carrot in heat.
KarMannMay 22nd, 2011 at 2:33 am [Reply]
@Chip Whittle (#87): Does it make me a bad person if I laughed at that eulogy? No wonder I didn’t get raptured today.
Mr O'MalleyMay 22nd, 2011 at 6:18 am [Reply]
@Chip Whittle (#87): I’ve seen a number of documentaries about bears catching salmon. I not only saw Grizzly Man but I’ve read a lot of background information on it. When the salmon are coming in, the bears turn into non-stop eating machines. If they stop eating, it’s because they are so gorged they cannot move a muscle (the “post-Thanksgiving dinner syndrome”). That’s why Treadwell was able to run around patting bears on the head.
The reason they do this is to ready themselves for winter hibernation. They need to eat a few months’ worth of calories in short order.
So the concept of a bear descending on an All-You-Can-Eat buffet is kind of mind-boggling. Although I think Miyazaki came close to the mark in Spirited Away. If only America had an artist who was up to the challenge of depicting this concept in its native form.
So I’m saying that ladder is going to be up there until springtime.
If you’ve been to the West, you may have encountered Black Bear Diner. Enough calories to bring on hibernation, but you might notice there is no “all you can eat” option. We know about bears.
LiamMay 22nd, 2011 at 7:15 am [Reply]
FW-Les is such a terrible teacher that most of classes involve him breaking down and crying over his dead wife. Those kids’ term papers will just be the word “cancer” written over and over again.
BraniffMay 22nd, 2011 at 7:35 am [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#76): Family Circus: Rub-(thought balloon-been there, done that-why did I rub that kiss off before? wait it was in a saccharine TV special with my darling family for Valentine’s Day many decades ago. I hope this isn’t some sort of Groundhog Day type of nightmare.)
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 22nd, 2011 at 7:42 am [Reply]
9CL: Solange channels the hopes and dreams of the ‘mudgeons
A&J: Sunday hashbashing for old times sake?
CdS: d’awwwwwwwwww.
Dilbert: saying nice things about lawyers. that’s a first.
Doons: wow. that’s not even *trying* to hide.
GF: this one wasn’t so bad. maybe Darby’s getting better?
Lio: geekery win. *applaz*
Bizarro: *gigglez* makes MG&G’s stale effort faintly amusing as well.
Luann: dedicated follow of fashion fail.
NS: ripping off Sinfest’s Reality Zone fail.
SB: alt-universe Susan, Kayla, and the Therapy Dog. much happier all around.
PV: good grief, she’s in league with the Skaven!
SFx: this is a repeat, innit?
Zits: ok, now THAT is funny! *guffaws*
rMC: slightly dated, but still amusing.
gleebMay 22nd, 2011 at 7:43 am [Reply]
Plugz: Well that could apply to anybody!
Slylock: M le Comte is the only one in the neighborhood with a laser that powerful.
Luann, or Knute’s Awakening: We’re learning more about Knute than I think he meant to share.
Crazy Dex Talk: Rex carefully hangs his lounging pajamas before changing into his sleeping pajamas.
Eric Sahara, Laid-Back Assassin!: Well, the Nomad drinks more wine and thinks about plotting against the Phantom.
‘bean: Was this in the syllabus, Bait-and-Switch Boy?
’shaft: It does my heart good to contemplate Ed’s hemorrhoids.
KarMannMay 22nd, 2011 at 7:52 am [Reply]
@queek, SoC, KC (#99): Aaaugh! What’s SB this time? Normally, I’m coming around to your usually meaning Speed Bump, not Strange Brew. But your Susan-Kayla-Therapy Dog comment doesn’t seem to make sense for either of those. Do you see a connection I don’t? Was it a typo?
ArchieNemesisMay 22nd, 2011 at 7:55 am [Reply]
Nice job, comic strip writers of America! Way to waste all those extra Sunday panels on single-panel-worthy punchlines.
Rocky StoneaxeMay 22nd, 2011 at 7:55 am [Reply]
@Braniff (#98):
This one’s for you:
Family Circus — RUB (Braniff )
KarMannMay 22nd, 2011 at 8:04 am [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#103): Are you sure that one wasn’t from Todd the Dinosaur? [*]
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 22nd, 2011 at 8:09 am [Reply]
@KarMann (#101): SB, for me, is always Speed Bump. I don’t follow Strange Brew. ;-)
KarMannMay 22nd, 2011 at 8:22 am [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#105): Ah, that explains it. Notice that that one’s dated May 15. The one I see for today has something totally different, for which your comment made absolutely no sense.
Rocky StoneaxeMay 22nd, 2011 at 8:40 am [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#76):
More Weird Sound Effects (Sunday Edition):
Mutts — RING
Garfield — FWING
Non Sequitur — PING… THUP
May 22nd, 2011 at 8:47 am [Reply]
@KarMann (#106): you’re right. My comment makes no sense at all for today’s strip. I usually don’t click on the Sunday Speed Bump, so didn’t notice that it was last Sunday’s strip.
my bad. sorry for any confusion. :-(
Rocky StoneaxeMay 22nd, 2011 at 9:00 am [Reply]
Sunday Snarks:
Did a character in Doonesbury just call Donald Trump an “asshole”?*
For maximum hilarity, read Mother Goose & Grimm first, then Bizarro.
*Obviously a reference to Robert I. Sutton’s book, The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn’t.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 22nd, 2011 at 9:01 am [Reply]
advice for Drew.
“have you seen this cat” poster win.
hood ornament, yer doin it rong. (but lookin’ mighty kewt doing so!)
Vince MMay 22nd, 2011 at 9:09 am [Reply]
Lio: Aww, and I thought I was a geek – who’s that on the far left and the far right?
Great to see Ro-Man, but isn’t he made out of gorilla?
May 22nd, 2011 at 9:29 am [Reply]
Congrats to thebirdgirl and all the funny folks on all the floats! And AfkaB, thanks for the ride on the hotdog cart!
A3G – OK, this is kind of interesting: Presumably the Sunday strip is supposed to summarize the most important developments of the week for those who only read on Sundays. So Paul catching the bouquet is there, of course; and Iris answering the phone with the strangely demented-looking Prissy on her lap; but no mention of Mama Linski and her sinister photo-snapping fetish?
BaBlue – genuinely cute. I C(chuckled)OL.
Crank – Batiuk evidently thinks we would be offended by the words “toilet paper,” but not by Crankshaft graphically discussing wiping his ass.
MT – The smart one in this strip is the chipmunk, who lets the bighorn sheep do all the work, and still ends up with a nice glass of cactus juice.
MW – OK! OK! We get it! Is Locher filling in for Moy?
PV – now that’s how you draw a rat.
RMMD – Hey bats :[, I bet some day you’ll find a good use for the final panel, with Rex looking thuggish as he gets his Knock-em-dead™ boomerang out of the closet.
HibbletonMay 22nd, 2011 at 9:46 am [Reply]
RMMD: Meanwhile in the last panel, Rex grabs the pump handle as June’s boobs seem to have deflated in the previous one.
Peanut GalleryMay 22nd, 2011 at 9:50 am [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#89):
Baby Blues – Every once in a while, Baby Blues does one of these strips that are just relentlessly grim. It always reminds me of the classic science fiction story “The Marching Morons” by Cyril Kornbluth, in which the authorities, in their futile attempts at population control, produce lurid propaganda films with titles like Babies Are Terrible and Don’t Have Children.
By the way, I couldn’t find a picture of it online, but the throwaway/title panel for today’s strip showed the father trying to sleep by counting Smurfs jumping over a fence. It was quite a while after I read it that I connected this image with Hammie’s final line!
Mark BMay 22nd, 2011 at 10:01 am [Reply]
MW: I think I’m starting to get a creepy stalker vibe from Liza.
CanuckDownSouthMay 22nd, 2011 at 10:02 am [Reply]
Awww, Alice (CdS) needs Totoro to move in next door.
Col. HavocMay 22nd, 2011 at 10:10 am [Reply]
Silly, false predictions aside, for about 150,000 people yesterday really was their last day on earth. The odds that this will be my last day are 7665-1, much higher than the odds that the entire world will end. I Should probably live with that truth in mind, huh?
Old School Allie CatMay 22nd, 2011 at 10:13 am [Reply]
Luann – Didn’t Knute try on a bikini for Crystal last summer? I think we’re gearing up for a “Very Special Luann” where we learn that people with transgender identity are just like me ‘n’ you. I just wish Knute had revealed in time to be in the pageant. He would have given Rosacea a run for her money…
FW – So, it’s been a long time since I was in High School, but my term papers were required to cite several external sources. I didn’t just get to make shit up in my head and call it research. Well, not technically, anyway. My senior term paper was about the political themes explored in Eugene Ionesco’s works The Lesson and Rhinoceros. It got a C. I think the teacher didn’t get it. I say that because I turned in a very similar paper in my sophomore year of college and got an A. This is back before we had smart phones. Les, you’re an asshat.
Gilthorp – I wish this were a Sunday comic, if only because I wonder what color Coach Kaz’s hair is. I think he’s sort of a coppery blond, with a nice caramel tan, sparkling green eyes and a large, tahitian pearl earring.
Professor FateMay 22nd, 2011 at 10:23 am [Reply]
MW: ‘do you own a rabbit by the way?” ‘what?” “oh nothing.”
FW: “and while you’re doing that I’ll get back to work on my next bestseller. Let’s see ah yes, chapter six …All work and no cancer makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no cancer makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no cancer…”
Mark BMay 22nd, 2011 at 10:26 am [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#29): Thanks for including me on you hot dog cart, chief.
KarMannMay 22nd, 2011 at 10:27 am [Reply]
Foxtrot: For the benefit of those who might see it at a size too small to read it, the headline on Dad’s paper there says “Cartoonist Narrowly Beats Deadline: ‘Must’ve made deal with Devil,’ says stunned editor.”
Baka GaijinMay 22nd, 2011 at 10:29 am [Reply]
@Peanut Gallery (#114): “My poop is blue” is funny. Yes, I have the sense of humor of an 8-year-old.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 22nd, 2011 at 10:31 am [Reply]
Frazz: there’s a bunch of fun stuff on the board there, including The Who and a Far Side ref.
DairyStateDadMay 22nd, 2011 at 10:33 am [Reply]
Hearty Huzzahs! to the floaters and especially to thebirdgirl… And so glad to see that Jeff wasn’t one of those whisked up naked to the sky…
Now for one of those questions that admits how dumb I really am:
There’s a lot of funny bits in Frazz today (Sunday 5/22), but I think the main joke is too subtle for me. My first guess is that it’s a backhanded riposte to the folks who accuse Jef Mallett and Frazz of ripping off Calvin & Hobbes. DairyStateMom doesn’t quite understand how that would be so. We both love the reference on the blackboard to the famous Sidney Harris New Yorker Cartoon … But can someone enlighten us further?
TheDivaMay 22nd, 2011 at 10:39 am [Reply]
9CL: To be fair, violently eviscerating Seth would make a lot of creatures happy.
C’shaft: You know what I say: one irritating, abrasive asshole deserves another.
DT: Outside of the food services industry, who buys flour in huge fertilizer-sized bags, anyway?
FW: “Of course, by the time the term is over you still will not have learned how to research either in the library or in an electronic medium, evaluate sources, the difference between ‘citation’ and ‘plagarism,’ how to build an argument based on your research, or any of the other critical thinking skills which writing a term paper is supposed to teach you. But I will have made my point regarding the ignorance and technological dependence of your generation and allowed myself to feel superior to you lazy, disrespectful kids, and that’s what matters most.”
Luann: Knute’s battered body was later found behind the school, and the next video from the “It Gets Better” project will be dedicated to his memory.
MW: Now really, apart from Drew’s lack if consent, how is Liza’s single-minded devotion to her man different than that of any other Santa Royale Wife?
Pluggers: That’s a long way to go to get to “Pluggers are lazy bastards,” isn’t it?
SM: Week Three of the standoff…
KarMannMay 22nd, 2011 at 10:58 am [Reply]
Well, I guess today’s Doonesbury was a bit too much for the local dead-tree. Got a rerun from April last year instead, with no indication that it was a substitution except that the copyright between panels still said 2010 (they even replaced the handwritten date with today’s, clearly typeset).
KarMannMay 22nd, 2011 at 11:01 am [Reply]
@KarMann (#126): Heh, and in an amusing juxtaposition, right below that Doonesbury rerun? “My poop is blue.” That should help clear up where the line is that must not be crossed.
DairyStateDadMay 22nd, 2011 at 11:02 am [Reply]
@KarMann (#126): Maybe the substitution was made because events overtook the joke in the version that’s online.
TheDivaMay 22nd, 2011 at 11:15 am [Reply]
@Old School Allie Cat (#118): Someone on Son of Stuck Funky pointed out that Les isn’t really encouraging original writing–he’s just asking them to parrot back whatever information he’s given them in class. Which will no doubt be a boost to his own ego, but will ultimately be no more education than lifting a term paper from online.
I’ve heard a lot of talk here and elsewhere about students who go into college incapable of framing their thoughts in a coherent, effective essay. Les thinks he’s solving the problem when he’s really aggravating it, and that just makes him more annoying than normal.
bourbon babe, unbuckledMay 22nd, 2011 at 11:21 am [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#109): re: Doones–the print WashPost ran a rerun instead of today’s strip. Wimps.
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 22nd, 2011 at 11:26 am [Reply]
Family – Oh no, Dolly. I’m sure he was just rubbing it in in a heartwarming way.
AD – Stopped showing up at Dean Booth’s today. Tch.
Lio – I just saw Robby yesterday on an Addams Family episode!
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 22nd, 2011 at 11:27 am [Reply]
Hägar – Doctors and golf? I never saw this coming.
Orange – Oh NOES!
Slylock – Weirdly forgot to slip a picture of Abe Lincoln to Slylock.
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 22nd, 2011 at 11:27 am [Reply]
@Mr. O’Malley (#85): It was a stupid unoriginal concept, poorly executed.
Well, it was of its time — a time when sitcoms were looking for ideas that we might have seen on the front page of Weekly World News. My Favorite Martian, Mr. Ed, (as you mentioned), Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie, It’s About Time, My Living Doll, The Flying Nun, The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, Captain Nice, Mr. Terrific, The Second Hundred Years, The Addams Family, The Munsters… somebody had to be the worst.
May 22nd, 2011 at 11:29 am [Reply]
3G – This time, there are more purple background guests! They look happier! Doris throws the bouquet ungrudgingly, backwards! Paul and Luann aren’t exact lookalikes! Prissy, previously played by an alley cat, is now an oversized CGI demon with uncanny-valley eyes!
Thanks, and a tip of the hat, to guest writer George Lucas!
bourbon babe, unbuckledMay 22nd, 2011 at 11:31 am [Reply]
SF: I see that Sally has been hopping over to Santa Royale to shop at Marcy’s again.
A3G: Prissy doesn’t look as though she agrees; Prissy looks as though she’s thinking, “Um, whuck? Don’t try to speak for the cat, bitch.”
PC: Today’s panel clarity is brought to you by Reply All.
MW: Liza is just one step short of either feigning deafness (“Liza, I can’t see you anymore!” “What’s that, Drew? You want me to be your whore? Of course, lover!”) or simply covering her ears and shouting, “LALALALALALALALA SEE YOU FOR DINNER DREW! LALALALALALALALA!“
DairyStateDadMay 22nd, 2011 at 11:35 am [Reply]
@DairyStateDad (#128): OK, even I admit that was weak excuse-making.
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 22nd, 2011 at 11:38 am [Reply]
A first for the Toon River Anthology: this one’s a translation.
NO NAME* [*in the Bandar tongue]
I was born to follow the proud destiny of my father
And his father, and his father, and all their fathers
All the way back to the first Phantom in 1536.
I trained rigorously for years, learning science,
Languages, literature, martial arts, armaments,
Just as my fathers had before me.
But our fathers could not teach us who to love,
Or teach a heart to weigh consequences,
And because my father followed his heart, rather than tradition,
I was not suitable for my own destiny. I was miscast.
Father seemed not to notice. Perhaps he was acting too,
Perhaps he was truly oblivious. I played my part.
He was pleased with me right up to the day of his death.
And then I did what I had to do. I looked around
And found another who could fill the role I couldn’t,
And avenge my father’s death.
I franchised my destiny. I gave my birthright to another
For the sake of the legend of the undying Phantom.
I found one, light-skinned, well-formed, strong, quick-thinking, ruthless.
Now his dynasty will continue the work my forefathers did.
Though I’ve grown fat and bald, I continue to advise him
Behind the scenes. It’s best this way. After all,
Who could ever believe in the myth of the eternal Ghost
When confronted by an undersized half-Bandar
With a round head made to wear a lampshade?
May 22nd, 2011 at 11:49 am [Reply]
@Old School Allie Cat (#118): I would hope that Luann’s fellow students are already quite tolerant of gender-nonstandard fashion choices, and are reacting to the real freak: a teenage boy voluntarily dressing in a plaid dress shirt tucked into belted slacks.
Effluvius ErratusMay 22nd, 2011 at 12:01 pm [Reply]
SATURDAY
JP: I know, I know. “Judge Parker won’t need counseling after witnessing (and most likely causing) a suicide because he’s a smug rich asshole incapable of empathy and will most likely masturbate into the corpse from the rooftop a-har-har-har!” but remember: This isn’t just some plebe who’s about to off herself, but someone with money and servants and stock options and stuff—you know, an actual person.
MT: I should know better, but this story is starting to pique my interest. Why won’t John Thrasher believe Mark’s story? Why is he convinced something else is going on behind the scenes? Is he paranoid schizophrenic, or maybe he saw something in the remotest reaches of Tora Bora, something he shouldn’t have seen—an impossibly old monastery, perhaps, on an impossibly high cliff face, no one and nothing in sight save for a black flag, snapping in the wind, emblazoned with a golden hand—and now they’re after him and anyone he’s had contact with. He’s not sure who “they” are, but his contacts in the intel community tell him one name keeps popping up in the chatter lately: Ted Forth.
MW: Okay, she’s not crazy. She’s just pretending to be crazy—because that’s how you bag a doctor husband? Help me out, ladies. Does this work?
Phantom: “Okay, college boy. Just go back into the guts-spattered cabin and wait with the corpses until the Jungle Patrol responds to your e-mail.” My hero.
Popeye: So, are the Oids the Popeye equivalent of the Silence?
SUNDAY
Crankshaft: Aw, geez. That last thing I want to think about on a Sunday morning is Ed’s tender anus. Then again, Ed’s Tender Anus is a good name for a band.
AshleyMay 22nd, 2011 at 12:12 pm [Reply]
RMMD: if Berna declares Dex “demented,” she doesn’t have to share the lottery proceeds with him, does she?
wossnameMay 22nd, 2011 at 12:28 pm [Reply]
Uncle Lumpy! Uncle Lumpy! Fake designer handbags at 141 is calling us names! Waahhh!
mollificentMay 22nd, 2011 at 1:03 pm [Reply]
Luann: I may get roasted for this, but I found today’s Luann rather poignant. Though Knute’s choice of dress probably doesn’t help him. And those shoes!
OBH: I tip my hat to you, sir. My dad was born in Hawaii and I’ve never heard about the Aloha acronym. Mahalo nui loa! (And, also, great funny comic!)
PV: D’oh!
@ElkMeadow (#92): I had a boss once who followed a shoplifter (of a quite expensive item, btw) up the stairs and slammed him against the wall. We were all hanging around in the store, rather horrified. When the police came, the shoplifter was discovered to have heroin on his person, which helped somewhat…but still. Lawsuit waiting to happen, these days.
Frank Lee MeidereMay 22nd, 2011 at 1:09 pm [Reply]
FW: Yup. That’s about right. Every fucking semester my students tell me that in their previous English classes they’ve been told they can’t use the Internet because “it’s not a good source.” And every fucking semester I have to tell my students that the Internet isn’t a “source” it’s a goddamned “medium,” and as such is a portal to information ranging from very, very bad to very, very good.
If you go to a library, you’ll find all kinds of books. Some say the Earth is hollow. Some say that the universe is only 8,000 years old. And all books can be used for plagiarism. Does that make the library a bad “source”?
Fucking idiot.
But Les’s ignorance of technology aside, it’s still a stupid idea. I’ve been writing professionally since 1975, and if you told me that I had to stay in one room to write something as complex as a term paper, and that I could only work on it at certain times, I would fail spectacularly — especially since I’d be pissed enough to write something remarkably sarcastic and biting.
Sad to say, Les isn’t even the worst of his breed. He’s just an average teacher-asshole.
Am I to understand that Batiuk was once a teacher himself? If so then I applaud his move to becoming a comic strip artist: it’s one less brain-dead, ill-advised, moronic “educator” out there. Of course, he was probably simply replaced by another, possibly with a masters in education and thereby incapable of uttering a single sentence that even comes close to making sense.
Frank Lee MeidereMay 22nd, 2011 at 1:26 pm [Reply]
OBH: Right. And “M” is for the many things she gave me, “O” means only that she’s growing old, “T” is for the tears she said to save me, …
Frank Lee MeidereMay 22nd, 2011 at 1:30 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#145): That should be “…she shed to save me.” Not “said.”
Irritation over folk-lore being presented as real etymology short-circuited my typing.
Uncle LumpyMay 22nd, 2011 at 1:31 pm [Reply]
@wossname (#141):
Spam raptured at 141.
CanuckDownSouthMay 22nd, 2011 at 1:33 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#144): Agree that it’s a medium – I usually get the peer-reviewed papers I’d use as references when writing up my work from a journal website, not the deadtree version. I also teach college physics and we don’t allow students to use wikipedia, blogs, etc as a bibliography source for their major experiment writeups. BUT we explain that the internet can be an index – they should go to wiki, NASA sites, etc and then follow up the references.
Dr. WeirdMay 22nd, 2011 at 1:43 pm [Reply]
Doonesbury
My local dead tree paper, the AZ Republic, went with the rerun as well. Did anyone see the “current” strip in printed form? The syndicate might have sent out a replacement when Trump announced he wasn’t running, but the original is still in the website queue?
Frank Lee MeidereMay 22nd, 2011 at 1:48 pm [Reply]
@CanuckDownSouth (#147): That’s something I tell my students, too. No encyclopaedia article is a true “source,” they are compendiums of sources (with the occasional exception, such as Husserl’s article on Phenomenology in the 1927 Encyclopaedia Britannica). Wikipedia is no exception. Follow the sources — many of which are online.
commodorejohnMay 22nd, 2011 at 2:11 pm [Reply]
Bizarro – Sexual cannibalism in insects: it’s fun for the whole family!
FW – Christ, what an asshole.
JP – Okay, who isn’t going to show up for this?
Luann – The least disturbing Luann in years.
MW – Of course you realize, if Liza was a Mary-approved suitor, this would be obviously the most romantic behavior ever.
OB – Oh, he’s an Objectivist superhero.
PV – Well, now, who among us hasn’t had rats steal our clothing and protective charms?
RMMD – “I would imagine she’s thinking about that as we speak! I, for one, am imagining hitting Dex square in the back of the head with a boomerang!”
SM – Yeah, by the time they actually get around to doing anything it’s going to be high noon.
Edison Lee – What.
wossnameMay 22nd, 2011 at 2:43 pm [Reply]
@Dr. Weird (#148): Maybe that’s it – but I think it’s more likely they didn’t want to run a strip that said in (barely disguised) essence, “Trump is an asshole.”
I’ll report on what the Atlanta dead-tree did when I get home in a couple hours.
bourbon babe, unbuckledMay 22nd, 2011 at 2:54 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#149): Me, too—and I tell them that Wikipedia (or another encyclopedia) can be a handy place to refresh one’s memory about a topic—and that I use it for that purpose.
I require my composition students to use scholarly articles, most of which they access electronically through our library’s databases—so we make a distinction between electronic library sources and sources one might find through Google. And then we talk about how to try to establish credibility in a googled source—and how difficult that can be. But I also talk with them about how non-scholarly googled sources (or other non-scholarly sources) can be useful in a paper, depending on one’s topic: If one is writing about neo-Nazi propaganda, one should be looking at neo-Nazi websites; if one is writing about the cult of celebrity, one should be looking at People or its ilk. Those are types of primary sources.
It’s much more complicated than when I was in college!
Joe, the Upper-Evergreen GuyMay 22nd, 2011 at 2:55 pm [Reply]
FW: Les, my Generation-X understanding of “term paper” means many hours of work: researching, writing, editing, etc, things that have to be done outside of school hours. If that’s all you plan to have your students do from now until the rest of the year…….work on thier “term papers” in class……..well, I hate to pop your dead-wife bubble, but there isn’t nearly enough time left in the school year for that! Unless, of course, you have a much different idea of what a “term paper” is……perhaps all the kids can pull thier info from the “gloomy cancer cart” you’re about to roll in the room!!
The RidgerMay 22nd, 2011 at 3:04 pm [Reply]
FW: Just out of curiosity… how does he plan to keep them from going to Cheatbook and PlagiarizePal after school is out? And taking notes?
Anyway, he clearly doesn’t want a “term paper”. He wants “busy work” because he’s going to be busy working on his script.
bats :[May 22nd, 2011 at 3:27 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#122): mr. bats :[ is part of your elite group. He came into the kitchen this morning, laughing very loudly: “MY POOP IS BLUE!”
Nice.
Dead-tree of the Arizona Daily Star (so. AZ) ran the Doonesbury repeat.
It’s been way too long, but I’m pretty sure that the throwaway title panel in Sunday’s Frazz riffs on the ATP cycle, the energy-producing molecule for cellular activities.
bats :[May 22nd, 2011 at 3:33 pm [Reply]
@Vince M (#111): the robot to the right is the bounty hunter droid IG-88 from “The Empire Strikes Back.” (Lord, I am such a SW geek.)
The one n on the left is the logo for “Bad Robot Productions,” J. J. (Star Trek reboot, Lost, etc.) Abrams’ company.
May 22nd, 2011 at 3:35 pm [Reply]
Well, either the rapture didn’t happen, or I got passed over. The alternative would be that Heaven looks a lot like Nebraska, which is hardly an incentive to live a saintly life. Or maybe I just got reassigned to the other place.
I’m reminded of that Gahan Wilson cartoon with a bunch of seedy looking guys standing around wearing robes and halos made from wire hangers next to a wall with a sign on it that said “HEAV_N” with a beer can next to it. One guy says to another, “Somehow I thought the whole thing would be a lot classier.”
I know what would class it up; Fake designer handbags!
Also, “Les Moore is an asshole? That’s no secret.”
Goering & Goebels; “Ja, everybody knows that!”
May 22nd, 2011 at 3:39 pm [Reply]
@Dr. Weird (#148):
Doonesbury: My local dead tree paper, the AZ Republic, went with the rerun as well. Did anyone see the “current” strip in printed form? The syndicate might have sent out a replacement when Trump announced he wasn’t running, but the original is still in the website queue?
The dead-tree Seattle Times has the “current” Doonesbury.
Bill ThompsonMay 22nd, 2011 at 3:45 pm [Reply]
@Frank Lee Meidere (#143): I had classes in both high school and college where term papers were used to teach students how to do research. Not just how to look up material in the library, but how to decide how far you could trust the sources. The research also exposed you to different opinions about the same subject. It’s called “learning,” but all Batiuk knows is “writing.”
ElkMeadowMay 22nd, 2011 at 3:53 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#123):
Thanks for the heads up on Frazz!
I was going to snark about @Arlo and Janis, but then I remembered I pulled the same stunt yesterday, baking brownies so that I could scarf down all the ones that my SO didn’t take.
mist65May 22nd, 2011 at 3:56 pm [Reply]
Drabble – honeybunch is a b**** … then again ralph is a toad ..so perfect for each other.
MW- whatever happened to , Look Liza what does it take to get it through your thick skull, i dont like you ,your a psychotic b**** , now if you dont leave me alone , im going to show you what i do to psychotic witches like you
kkarenbMay 22nd, 2011 at 4:13 pm [Reply]
MW – How many dates did Drew and Liza have? Two? That hardly makes them a “couple.”
I am currently reading the novel “Life Sentences” by Laura Lippman. In one chapter, the writer Cassandra and her former friend discussed how in 5th grade they liked to discuss getting ready to go on dates. One of their group even made elaborate drawings. I came upon this passage:
“…They loved the idea of dressing, of doing their hair, of applying lipstick. The dates would be anticlimaxes. ‘Like the girls of Apartment 3-G,’ Cassandra had written, missing the point that the only variation in that comic strip was hair color…”
May 22nd, 2011 at 4:20 pm [Reply]
Strangely, the politically conservative St. Paul Pioneer Press ran the Doonesbury written for this date.
BTW: Anybody see Ned Flanders today?
Peanut GalleryMay 22nd, 2011 at 4:34 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#122): @bats :[ (#155): I guess if that punchline was enough to make up for what I saw as a Vision Of Hell in the rest of the strip, you must have what it takes to be a parent! I already know that I don’t. :-)
ElkMeadowMay 22nd, 2011 at 4:36 pm [Reply]
@Mr O’Malley (#96):
I drive past the Black Bear Diner here [*] and I have yet to go inside. I think it was one of the things that closed Denny’s here.
Frank Lee MeidereMay 22nd, 2011 at 5:11 pm [Reply]
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#152): Yes, I’ve talked about that as well — that blogs can be used if appropriate to your research. The concept of judging the quality of sources, however, is so alien to them that I’m lucky if they end the semester with nothing more than a glimmering of understanding — and for that, I blame Les Moore and every asshole like him.
bats :[May 22nd, 2011 at 6:04 pm [Reply]
@Peanut Gallery (#164): oh, the bats :[ household is definitely child-free, so that probably explains our overlong youth and penchant for sophomoric humor. :)
@wossname (#112): re RMMD: hey, no time like the present!
Gene S.May 22nd, 2011 at 6:26 pm [Reply]
Two weeks in a row with one of the comments of the week. I feel so pressured now to be funny………Wookie….fart….turnips……..I got nuthin’
seismic-2May 22nd, 2011 at 6:53 pm [Reply]
Gee, do you think that maybe Batiuk himself believes it’s better just to tap your own brain than actually use external sources for research? Like on the subject of how the Army identifies soldiers’ remains? Or on the number of prisoner exchanges that have taken place in the Iraq and Afghanistan wars? Or on…
Oh, why bother. Of course it’s always better to tap into your own brain, if you’re a creative genius. It’s called typing writing.
PoteetMay 22nd, 2011 at 7:17 pm [Reply]
STONE SOUP — Oh, lovely — another strip trying to out-MARVIN MARVIN. Yech.
wossnameMay 22nd, 2011 at 7:38 pm [Reply]
Yay for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution dead-tree edition and all the other papers that ran the current Doonesbury.
@bats :[ (#167): BWAhaha – and I am honored!
seismic-2May 22nd, 2011 at 7:42 pm [Reply]
Here is a fairly lengthy obituary / profile of Crock artist Bill Rechin, from his local (Spotsylvania county, VA) newspaper.
The first time I ever saw his work was when he created Pluribus, a strip about an American bald eagle who served as a soldier / mascot in the Continental Army during the Revolutionary War. This strip was created in 1971 for the Washington Star as a run-up to the big Bicentennial celebration that would be launching in another 5 years, but few other papers picked it up, and Star readers didn’t like it either, so it was cancelled after only a 2-year run. Frankly, I was one of those readers who wondered what it was that the Star (a newspaper with an excellent and large comics section, R.I.P.) saw in the strip. This of course, is a question that would be asked a thousand-fold louder 40 years later when its surviving cross-town rival, the Washington Post, inflicted its readership with Reply All.
You can see a very typical example of Pluribus here and decide for yourself. Almost every single strip relied on a similarly Huh???-worthy punchline and that exact same wavy-line mouth expression on one or more characters in the final panel. Say what you will about Crock, it’s better than Pluribus, so he got better as time went on. I wish the same could be said for me, but all evidence points to the contrary. :(
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