Beetle Bailey, 5/24/11
I realize that making fun of Beetle Bailey for being lazy is in and of itself lazy at this point, but come on, would it have killed one of the no doubt half-dozen people who had a hand in the production of this panel to have created an even remotely plausible scenario in which Sarge would reach for a donut and then fall off a cliff? Maybe they could have, I don’t know, depicted the donut in some way? Suspended from a string just over the ledge as part of an elaborate trap set by Beetle? A hallucination of the poor food-addicted sergeant? Just in a box, lying on the ground? Help me out here.
Six Chix, 5/24/11/
I guess the joke is supposed to be on the prying old lady, but her sly smile in panel one indicates that she’s not even remotely scandalized by her neighbor’s response. “Well, in my day we liked to keep things within the confines of marriage, but the most important thing is that you’re experiencing erotic pleasure with your favorite man on a regular basis. You go with your bad self, young lady! It’s lucky that we have so much space between our houses, so we can be as vocal as we want in the throes of orgasm and not worry about bothering each other!” She’d probably be disappointed to learn that the younger woman is just using her coffee maker as some kind of makeshift sex toy.
This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 24, 2011 at 08:23 am and is filed under Beetle Bailey, Six Chix. | 194 responses to “” Joe, the Upper-Evergreen GuyMay 24th, 2011 at 8:27 am [Reply]
Beetle: Of all the times Sarge has fallen off a cliff, you’d think he’d be finally dead by now!!
RustyMay 24th, 2011 at 8:27 am [Reply]
That Mr. Coffee seems to be ignoring the laws of physics.
tb4000May 24th, 2011 at 8:30 am [Reply]
Six: The mere fact that when she returns to the house she speaks to the coffee maker as if it’s sentient basically verifies everything.
CanuckDownSouthMay 24th, 2011 at 8:32 am [Reply]
@Rusty (#2): I think it’s just all artsy lines with wasted space on the angled top and not an obvious physics fail.
For all of FOOB-Connie’s desperation to be with a man, you could at least see why she was with Phil or Greg or even Ted: she’d smile and talk about the things they did or that he did for her. Cayla is so much worse. She sits in a mopey stupour with Les and all we ever see is how he makes her feel insecure about Susan and by comparisons to Lisa. You want to yell at her that she deserves better than this – and I include “living alone for the rest of your life” in the ‘better than this’ category.
PatrickMay 24th, 2011 at 8:33 am [Reply]
If her guy is “always turned on,” then she spends an inordinate amount of time replacing carafes.
S. StoutMay 24th, 2011 at 8:35 am [Reply]
Beetle Bailey: It’s pretty obvious they took an old strip and changed the lines. Get used to it though, it’s golfing season!
Six Chix: Your yard is huge, lady! Does Mr. Coffee mow it for you? No? One of the drawbacks from living alone and personally befriending all your appliances, I guess.
pugfugglyMay 24th, 2011 at 8:37 am [Reply]
Doesn’t Sarge look like Wile E. Coyote hanging by the edge of the cliff like that? Maybe the donut is like the Roadrunner, and poor Sarge was just outwitted, or outrun, by a baked good. Yeah, that seems about as plausible as anything…
Doctor HandsomeMay 24th, 2011 at 8:42 am [Reply]
Look, lady, even if it is possible to communicate with Mister Coffee through human language, there’s no way he heard what you were saying all the way over there by the fence. How’s he supposed to know what he’s agreeing with you about?
MibbitmakerMay 24th, 2011 at 8:43 am [Reply]
9CL: Well, metaphorically…
A3G: “…and why is the Twilight Zone theme playing in the background?”
Archie: The punk guy looked like a bad, sloppy drawing of Jughead at first! Wow!
BBlues: “Worse than Elaine Benes, you once said!”
wossnameMay 24th, 2011 at 8:43 am [Reply]
A3G – Hahahaha! Tommie really is the talentless, pathetic hack we all knew she was. The whole “Dan Diller” thing was a setup by Aunt Iris, spending her millions on an elaborate scheme to boost Tommie’s self-esteem.
Arch – As the art in Archie gradually sinks to Crockian depths, Jughead’s hat merges with his head, eliminating the need to draw a line between them.
FC – Sorry, Jeffy, it’s a big dog turd that Barfy left on the living room floor.
MT – Are the Cleancut Kids Robbing Crew supposed to be in the van in panel 3? Because that van is the size of the Queen Mary. The guy in the back seat is 20 feet from Cleancut Ringleader and Cleancut Driver.
Phantom – Once they’ve done their time, those bad guys really ought to pursue a career at Chippendales. Look at those matching poses!
@Comcis Fan (#Y56):
Would one of the talented cartoonists here please do a MW-FW crossover, wherein Liza Falls for Les?
Before I read your comment, this was going to be one of mine:
The “I love you””LUV U” coincidence inspired a horrible but fascinating question: What if Nurse Liza were pursuing Les?
Scary!
Rocky StoneaxeMay 24th, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]
5-24 Weird Sound Effects:
Monty — BLAM!
Peanuts — BOOT!
Dilbert — BUZZZZ
Fast Track — FLIP!
reFOOB — RRRINGG
Beetle Bailey — SNAP!
Rose is Rose — SHRED
Close to Home — SLAP!
Marvin —
http://www.jsonline.com/comics/32402404.html?feature_id=Marvin
Mark BMay 24th, 2011 at 8:45 am [Reply]
Mary Worth keeps depicting Drew after encounters with Liza with his tie loosened and his shirt unbuttoned. If you want to convince her that you are broken up, you need to stop having breakup sex, Drew.
Ned RyersonMay 24th, 2011 at 8:46 am [Reply]
Maybe “reaching for my doughnuts” is a euphemism for something Sarge might enjoy doing while sitting on the edge of a cliff.
But What Do I Know?May 24th, 2011 at 8:47 am [Reply]
LuAnn — Yes, and I’m sure if your daughter intended to have sex in your house with you home she would certainly tell you beforehand. . .
The Ghost Who Heals — That bullet wound seems to have healed nicely–and are the bad guys just going to stand there waiting for the Jungle Patrol?
A3G — Last week, it was Luann; this week it’s Tommie. Can’t anyone help them out and tell them what “that” means?
MT — What kind of vehicle are myson Mike and his cronies driving? Maybe it’s Jackelrod’s idea of a minivan. . .
MibbitmakerMay 24th, 2011 at 8:49 am [Reply]
6C: Robotman: “How dare you mock the nature of true love!”
FW: “I love you too… Lisa!”
Then, the creepy music starts up…
GF: I’ve seen that look! Like… on Squidward’s face when Spongebob gets too perky. Rob, here, is in bad shape!
Mark BMay 24th, 2011 at 8:53 am [Reply]
FW: Cayla, you just seriously fucked up. Seriously, the best thing to do is to move to another town now and don’t tell anyone where you went. If you spend any more time with that miserable prick, he’s going to destroy whatever life you have left. Your best chance for happiness is a new start. Please go now.
Doctor HandsomeMay 24th, 2011 at 8:54 am [Reply]
It’s tough to say which is the bigger linguistic stretch: referring to the coffee maker as a “guy,” or referring to this whole sad exchange as “fun.”
Mark BMay 24th, 2011 at 8:55 am [Reply]
@Ned Ryerson (#13): Ah, so “reaching for the doughnuts” means autoerotic asphyxiation. Check. Off to update urban dictionary.
Naked Bunny with a WhipMay 24th, 2011 at 8:57 am [Reply]
I am so not gonna type “coffee sex” into Google.
MibbitmakerMay 24th, 2011 at 8:57 am [Reply]
GT: Teachers? Fat paychecks? SINCE WHEN?!
PCity: There are still squeamish people that don’t want to see them! Stuff your tinfoil hat somewhere painful, Stantis!
S-M: Seems fair…
NekrotzarMay 24th, 2011 at 9:00 am [Reply]
Doesn’t leaving a coffee maker on at all times reduce its operating life, potentially damage the equipment, and even run the risk of starting a fire? I could probably turn that into a relationship metaphor if I didn’t have better things to do.
McManxMay 24th, 2011 at 9:01 am [Reply]
Mark Trail — This episode is looking more and more like a community theatre troup staged the thefts. Look at those terrible wigs…
Mary Worth — Texting while driving. Dangerous. I sense a Mary Worth moment coming up: Dr. Drew drives over a cliff and is killed.
Archie — Boom box? Punk? Are these current Archies recycled?
Six Chix — The way this Mr. Coffee is slumped over and deformed suggests either its plastic housing is melting down from constantly being “steamy hot and turned on” or that the coffee maker is depressed about being used as a sex toy.
Roto13May 24th, 2011 at 9:04 am [Reply]
How exactly did that conversation go? Did the whole thing just abruptly end with “… and always turned on!!”, at which point the woman just walked away from her neighbour and into her house to talk to her kitchen appliances? Is she only taking a break from the conversation to give her coffee maker a moment to respond, before heading back out to her confused old lady neighbour?
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 24th, 2011 at 9:11 am [Reply]
Archie – Nearsighted Jughead Worshipper doesn’t know he wears a hat.
Close – McPherson couldn’t draw the gag he wrote but fortunately there was room for a caption below where he could explain it all.
Dick – Coming soon, the acid test for the new art team. How long will it take somebody to fall into a vat of acid?
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 24th, 2011 at 9:12 am [Reply]
Mary – Time to [stop driving and] send some texts of your own, Drew!
“U R DED 2 ME”
“GO 2 HELL”
“I M GAY”
“U SUK”
“FUK U”
“NVR”
“.I..”
“>P”
Pluggers – Without looking, I was guessing “Pluggers are often left holding the bag.” Now I’ll say “The difference between a plugger’s hand bag and a trash bag is the buckle.”
R=R – Vacuously pretentious drivel and garbage all over. ‘Cuz Tuesday is Meta Day!
[Old Man] MuffarooMay 24th, 2011 at 9:13 am [Reply]
@Mibbitmaker (#y24): “WHO WAS IT??”
“Same guy!”
@Bill Thompson (#y51): Are they going to hide the loot in another cave?
Nah, they both use the same cave, like “Cox and Box,” they’re never there at the same time, and they have wacky mishaps and keep moving the same boulder back and forth almost meet each other, only they do this complex back-to-back circular maneuver. It’s been going on for months.
@John C Fremont (#y81): I remember Cap’n Crunch playing Space Invaders…
I have a CD I got in the 90s with cereal mascots playing baseball. I had high hopes for it — I wanted Sonny to spike Lucky at second — but it was unalterably tame. I keep it because even stuff from the 90s will be nostalgia one day, and it takes up next to no room.
May 24th, 2011 at 9:15 am [Reply]
@Doctor Handsome (#8):
Look, lady, even if it is possible to communicate with Mister Coffee through human language, there’s no way he heard what you were saying all the way over there by the fence. How’s he supposed to know what he’s agreeing with you about?
But anything is possible if Mister Coffee’s her Guardian Angel:
http://pixelarchitecture.com/todd/mrcoffee.jpg
(There’s a reason it’s called a cup of Joe!)
Scott BotMay 24th, 2011 at 9:16 am [Reply]
Archie – That’s not Jughead, it’s some kid listening to something so bad that it’s made the top of his head explode. He must be listening to ‘Hey Boy.’
DT – ‘Curses, Scooby has discovered the bags with the Scooby Snax mix in them. I better take it on the lam!’
FW – I just wonder how this is going to work out if they get married. Cayla might have a tough time finding a bridesmaid dress that fits Invisible Lisa.
Luann – They’re not gonna be boffing like bunnies anyhow. They’ll spend the rest of the week talking about how it’s so tragic that they have these feelings for each other, but Quill is leaving, and that their love is never meant to be. Then they’ll write a crappy song about it.
MT – The hair, the clothing…is this Mark Trail or an ABC After School Special on the evils of stealing?
Pluggers – I’m not sure which is more nauseating – the usual sappy Pluggers folky crap, or the thought of a Plugger in a thong. Believe me, it’s a difficult choice.
un malpasoMay 24th, 2011 at 9:17 am [Reply]
Six Chix – at least she didn’t say her boyfriend was black, strong, and Colombian, and kept her awake all night by stimulating her cortex. That would have been really scandalous.
Scott BotMay 24th, 2011 at 9:23 am [Reply]
@OKStan (#Y70): I want a ‘Recall Hobart’ bumper sticker for my car.
DoodMay 24th, 2011 at 9:26 am [Reply]
Isn’t that right, Mr. Juan Valdez?
CloudbusterMay 24th, 2011 at 9:26 am [Reply]
Luann:
Dad: I’m not up on current lingo. “Making music” doesn’t mean … y’know …”
Mom: Making horrible, cheesy pop songs to humiliate themselves with on YouTube? No, honey, if it did I wouldn’t have said “Hope it’s productive.” Hopefully they’re just screwing.
May 24th, 2011 at 9:29 am [Reply]
Tip o’ the day:
If you’re gonna have sex with a coffee maker, be sure to use a filter.
Let’s keep it safe out there.
May 24th, 2011 at 9:30 am [Reply]
@Naked Bunny with a Whip (#19): Here. I’ll do it for you: Coffee Sex
Apparently it’s an exceedingly dangerous combination!
Little GuyMay 24th, 2011 at 9:30 am [Reply]
@Naked Bunny with a Whip (#19): Better — go into a Starbucks, listen to the orders, and try to extrapolate them into sexual euphermisms.
CloudbusterMay 24th, 2011 at 9:31 am [Reply]
@Cloudbuster (#34): Curses, linking fail: Coffee Sex
JesseMay 24th, 2011 at 9:34 am [Reply]
I too carry the burden of only experiencing sexual pleasure by pouring scalding hot coffee all over my genitals.
“The best part of waking up…”
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 24th, 2011 at 9:36 am [Reply]
Bugs Bunny win.
for mollificent. (and the other Rocky fans.)
Baka Gaijin overreacts by calling out the National Guard.
bebbeh fox.
weezoh wants up.
Birthdays not always happy.
Joe, the Upper-Evergreen GuyMay 24th, 2011 at 9:37 am [Reply]
Crank: The spirits lift until the bills come due, that is.
FC: No, Jeffy. It’s the same wafting stink borrowed from Lynn’s Patterspray Foobiverse!!
Re-FOOB: “Yak Yak Yak”……that’s about right, Lynn. You’ve got most of it……Yaking, dumpy/frumpy Elly and Connie, and single-people hating. Now all you need is a pile of grease-dripping garbage-junk burgers and you’re all set!
FW: Les seems to have somewhat of a content look on his face, followed by a look of horror at Cayla’s blurting out “I love you”. That’s OK, Les. Just keep thinking to yourself: “dead wife cancer dead wife Leese dead wife sniff panties book-movie deal cancer dead wife”…
Luann: “Making music”? Hell yes!! That’s why Quill has got his dick sticking out of his pants already!! Otherwise, it’s the standard Greg-ese “Tee-hee, tee-hee!”
MW: Hey Drew: Now would be a great time to utilize the “block number” feature on your phone!
DoodMay 24th, 2011 at 9:41 am [Reply]
It’s nice that the Six Chix neighbors are able to share one of those General Foods International Coffee moments.
nescioMay 24th, 2011 at 9:44 am [Reply]
The signature in Beetle Bailey kind of looks like a donut, with the “O” in Mort as its center. Technically Sarge shouldn’t be seeing the signature, but maybe it’s like a religious epiphany, and Sarge’s vision of his creators takes the familiar form of a donut. Then the creators hurtle Sarge to his doom because he’s a fatty.
DoodMay 24th, 2011 at 9:45 am [Reply]
@nescio (#41): So, Mort Walker’s a vengeful god? Makes sense.
SequiturMay 24th, 2011 at 9:47 am [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#38): Those guardsmen looked as freaked out as Baka Gaijin while confronting the clown.
Maggie the CatMay 24th, 2011 at 9:49 am [Reply]
@Jessy (#87): It must have been the inspiration for Scribblenauts.
Scott BotMay 24th, 2011 at 9:52 am [Reply]
‘I fell off the cliff just as I was reaching for my doughnuts.’ Since when did Bill Griffith start writing for Beetle Bailey?
TheDivaMay 24th, 2011 at 9:59 am [Reply]
6C: I suppose that sounds better than “I’m so emotionally and socially stunted the closest I ever get to sexual gratification is my morning caffeine high.”
C’shaft: Yeah, you took your mother-in-law to the friggin’ mall. You’re a right saint, you are.
DT: High catwalk, huge vats of flour and heaven knows what else to fall into…this will end well.
FW: “I love me too, Cayla.”
MT: “Do you think that’s sufficient exposition for the audience, Mike!”
“I think so, but just to be safe let’s state one more time that we’re robbing the stores in town, and my father the sheriff has no clue that it is I, his own son, who’s behind it all! Now let us take these electronics which we have stolen and hide them until we sell them later, as is our wont!”
MW: “C U @ home!” “Nice bedroom!” “U like rabbit stew?”
Pluggers: And thank God for that.
SM: Hey, now that Spider-Man and MJ are out of the way, things are finally moving along!
SequiturMay 24th, 2011 at 10:01 am [Reply]
Lisping Pluggers thing a thong.
Scott BotMay 24th, 2011 at 10:02 am [Reply]
@Sequitur (#47): Thing out loud, thing out thrtrong.
anonMay 24th, 2011 at 10:02 am [Reply]
MY Mr. Coffee is my best friend! I see him first thing in the morning, and after a little attention, he springs into action. He encourages me, he energizes me, he gives me the will to go on. “There, there, Ms. Anon – brush away the cobwebs of the night – forget the bad dreams – yes, yes you can handle that to-do list of loathesome chores, yes you can! A little more sugar, baby? Atta girl, drink it down….” I can’t face the day without a little Mr. Coffee-time!
Not just any DipstickMay 24th, 2011 at 10:07 am [Reply]
MW: “Got KY?” “Leather Thong nite?”
DT: How long till the flour buries Dickey boy?
Old School Allie CatMay 24th, 2011 at 10:11 am [Reply]
6Chix – Sploshing is nothing to be ashamed of, but let that steamy java cool down a little before you indulge, otherwise it’s S&M.
9CL – Maybe I need to start reading this strip with my eyes closed.
Luann – So Nancy cockblocks her grown son but gives her underage daughter sexual carte blanche? Under her own roof? I see how this works.
FW – So wait, you let him taste the brown sugar without buying it first? You would never make it in the grocery business. Poor Cayla. If I could, I’d insert a hot mocha assistant coach who thinks she’s the best thing since sliced bread, and leave Les to wallow in his own crapulence. It’s called “writing” asshat. You have to make your protagonist likeable, otherwise people don’t give a shit if he suffers.
One-Eyed WolfdogMay 24th, 2011 at 10:14 am [Reply]
Archie: “What are you listening to?” “The sweet sounds of 1982, obviously.”
Esther BlodgettMay 24th, 2011 at 10:16 am [Reply]
6Chix: Unfortunately, Target.com lists the neo-Cubist Mr. Coffee as “out of stock.” You all beat me to it, didn’t you?
FW: Don’t worry about it, Cayla. Les wasn’t listening to you. If you want him to pay attention, start your sentence with “Your Eminence.”
Scott BotMay 24th, 2011 at 10:17 am [Reply]
@Old School Allie Cat (#51): otherwise people don’t give a shit if he suffers.
Oh, I care if he suffers. I care a lot. In fact, I want him to suffer greatly.
May 24th, 2011 at 10:19 am [Reply]
DtM: “The Doctor won’t be with you for a few minutes, sir. Why not go ahead and have a fiddle in your trousers while you wait?”
commodorejohnMay 24th, 2011 at 10:23 am [Reply]
6Chix – do not visualize do not visualize do not visualize
A3G – OH MY GOD AUNT IRIS HAS A MASTER PLAN BEHIND ALL HER SEEMING RANDOM WHIMSY
Crock – Oh good, finally a “joke” that captures the level of aesthetic offense that Crock’s art does. [*]
DT – I’m trying to figure out what her grimly ironic death is going to be, but I can’t come up with much for either the “ventriloquist puppet” angle or the “Jimmy Olsen” angle.
FC – “I sure hope it’s food, because I’m going to pick it up and shove it in my mouth whole regardless!”
FW – Les’s beady, dead eyes widen in surprise. “Wow!” he thinks. “And here I thought I was the only person who really loved me as I deserve! Score!”
JP – “Well gee, I never would have guessed what these marvelous Sell-Phones were for!”
Luann – Excuse me, I’m just going to go toss heavy objects around the room in a gibbering rage for a while.
MT – “To the Storage-Cave! Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na thief kids!”
Pluggers – Thank you for that image, Pluggers. Thank you so goddamn much.
SM – There’s nothing worse than a couple that drags bystanders into their squabbles.
One-Eyed WolfdogMay 24th, 2011 at 10:24 am [Reply]
Argyle: Ha ha ha. Look, honey, that comic strip moron can’t draw.
SequiturMay 24th, 2011 at 10:26 am [Reply]
FW: After Cayla says, “I love you,” she is thinking, “@#*[skull]!!”
Allow me to translate: “You asshole.”
Esther BlodgettMay 24th, 2011 at 10:26 am [Reply]
YAAAAAYYYY!!!! I’m not a Plugger! I’m not a Plugger! I’m not…uh…I didn’t say anything.
DoodMay 24th, 2011 at 10:31 am [Reply]
Pluggers: What’s with chicken pluggers and thong underwear? Do they interfere with their cloacas or something?
ScienceGiantMay 24th, 2011 at 10:38 am [Reply]
@Roto13 (#23): I like my men like I like my coffee: hot, sweet and black!
Walker of DogMay 24th, 2011 at 10:43 am [Reply]
@Doctor Handsome (#8): That poor coffee lady is in an abusive co-dependent relationship with her coffee maker. Why does she finish the outdoor conversation in the kitchen? Because Mister Coffee hears EVERYTHING.
I blame Frank Gehry.
SequiturMay 24th, 2011 at 10:44 am [Reply]
@ScienceGiant (#61): press here
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 24th, 2011 at 10:44 am [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#48): don’t worry that it’s not good enough, that anyone else should see. . . .
SequiturMay 24th, 2011 at 10:50 am [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#64): [translated] don’t wowwy that’s itch not good enuff, that anyone elseh shood thee. . . .
I Got Nuthin\'May 24th, 2011 at 10:52 am [Reply]
Once you go Mister Coffee, you never go blister, uh, free.
ElkMeadowMay 24th, 2011 at 10:54 am [Reply]
I hate discovering I’ve posted on a dead thread.
Walker of DogMay 24th, 2011 at 11:00 am [Reply]
GT: Gulliver, disrupting another meeting of the Lilliput school board, attempts to emphasize a point but ends up crushing the president’s skull.
A3G: Missing third panel: Aunt Iris breaks out her supervillian laugh and tents her fingers, triggering Tommie to jump in with an enthusiastic recitation of “Here’s the church, here’s the steeple.”
Plug: She-Pluggers see themselves as respectable drudges who would never ’snap a strap’ at passing He-Pluggers.
JP: Sam will ‘reach’ Alan ‘up there’ using: (a) the cell phone; (b) the ball point pen; (c) the lieutenant’s thumb; (d) other.
commodorejohnMay 24th, 2011 at 11:01 am [Reply]
I like my women like I like my coffee: sweet, creamy, and powerful!
Okay, that just sounds a little weird. Pretty much true though.
RangerMay 24th, 2011 at 11:02 am [Reply]
Zits: Is that Walt’s neighbor? Why does he look so much like Jeremy? Has Connie been dancing around for the neighborhood?
SequiturMay 24th, 2011 at 11:04 am [Reply]
@Walker of Dog (#68):
Plug: She-Pluggers see themselves as respectable drudges who would never ’snap a strap’ at passing He-Pluggers.
She-Pluggers know if they snapped their strap, the old strap would break.
Tom D.May 24th, 2011 at 11:04 am [Reply]
What’s up with Archie lately? Today I think it’s Jughead, is walking with a 80’s style boom box and I’ve noticed there have been more 80’s cultural refrences, are they just repeating Archie from the 80’s?
Alan's AddictionMay 24th, 2011 at 11:10 am [Reply]
Although today’s “Beetle Bailey” isn’t great, I do approve of their use of mindless violence as a tool for entertainment. Perhaps one day, they’ll be as funny as the Looney Tunes.
I found the subtext of today’s “Six Chix” to be kind of depressing. “I’ve learned through bitter experience that humans will only let you down, forcing me to forgo all human relationships and bond with my appliances in a creepy, Norman Bates-esque fashion.”
May 24th, 2011 at 11:11 am [Reply]
BB: They also should have switched the 2nd and 3rd panels, so that we could imagine an unseen narrator going, “Oh snap! Is sarge gonna die?”
6C: So it’s true what they say. Once you go black…
S-M: Morbius: I can fly, idiot.
Martine: Oh yeah. We’ve been jabbering on this roof so long, I forgot.
MT: I’d like to think that Lucius Malfoy is making an implied threat here, and that Myson Mike will be killed or at least slapped around if he becomes a liability. But since Mark Trail doesn’t have the plot cohesion of, say, Locher-era Dick Tracy, I’m not getting my hopes up.
EC: Nice to see Tommie Thompson’s music career taking off. She’s got teenybopper fans in another strip, even. Don’t know why she dyed her hair khaki, though.
Archie: Punk Rock Pinnochio is one of those Archie Comics characters who never took off.
OBH: How cute. Ruthie’s playing matchmaker. Think there could be a love connection between these two, too.
Blondie: Okay, Bumstead, keep both hands where we can see ‘em.
FW: The grawlixes in Cayla’s head are because she realizes that she just lost whatever reader respect she might have had.
SSmith: Not even Captain Crunch’s hat?
M-Dawg: “Oh Mrs Dudley, Marmaduke will want you to sit on his bone soon enough.”
Luann: Oh, I don’t know, Nancy. You want grandkids, but you hate Toni Daytona. On some level maybe you do want Luann and Quill’s “music making”* to be “productive.”
*Even without sexual innuendo, I’d still put “music” in quotes where Luann is concerned.
Maggie the CatMay 24th, 2011 at 11:13 am [Reply]
@Ranger (#70): I KNEW that was the strip you were referring to! I remember that one, too, LOL. Hideous!
Scott BotMay 24th, 2011 at 11:13 am [Reply]
Archie – Aw, c’mon, Miss Grundy, don’t be like that. Ryan Seacrest isn’t that bad…
GregMay 24th, 2011 at 11:15 am [Reply]
Six Chix: When is this country going to wake up and let people and appliances marry??
SequiturMay 24th, 2011 at 11:25 am [Reply]
@Greg (#77): It could happen.
Effluvius ErratusMay 24th, 2011 at 11:30 am [Reply]
A3G: “Everything is falling into place”? I knew it! Aunt Iris (an anagram of Nutrias I, obviously) is an super-villainess bent on world domination, and what’s falling into place is her plan to neutralize rival super-villainess Ma Mega-Gore.
H&J: So, Herb is always short one one-dollar bills. I wonder if his wifes knows that he frequents nudie bars erectile establishments?
Pluggers: Shit, anything less than XXXL panties is a thong to a Plugger.
Pluggers Redux: Let’s all be grateful there aren’t any camel pluggers.
KatyMay 24th, 2011 at 11:31 am [Reply]
I actually tuned in to Mary Worth today to see what was happening. I feel so dirty.
pugfugglyMay 24th, 2011 at 11:34 am [Reply]
FW: “You love me? That’s GREAT! Now when you die, I’ll have material for another book. So, any history of cancer in your family? Heart problems? Diabetes?…..How would you like to go base jumping this weekend..?”
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 24th, 2011 at 11:36 am [Reply]
@Greg (#77):
some woman are already married to tools. . . .
(Loretta, for example!)
Esther BlodgettMay 24th, 2011 at 11:38 am [Reply]
MW: You know, this might be a good time for Drew to invent a wife and family waiting for him in Vietnam. Although I’m not sure that wouldn’t just prompt Liza to dye her hair black and declare that she makes a mean bowl of pho.
TheDivaMay 24th, 2011 at 11:39 am [Reply]
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#74): *googles “grawlixes”* Huh, I didn’t even know that there was an official word for “those random syllables used in place of obscenities.” Learn something new every day.
Chip WhittleMay 24th, 2011 at 11:39 am [Reply]
9 to 5: “I made a technology joke! Can I be in the cool club now?”
Apartment 3-G: “What does that mean?” Tommie knows she’s heard the word “place” before, but not what for.
Crankshaft: I’ve never seen a woman this thrilled by the prospect of Auntie Anne’s pretzels and the Perpetually Empty Music Instruments Store.
Crock: With a buffet of “huh?” and “the heck?” moments in today’s Crock, I find myself noticing how we see four camel front hooves/hands in one panel, and three different numbers of toe/fingers on them. Help me.
Dennis the Menace: Wait, Dennis’s Dad has a secretary? Wait, Dennis’s Dad has an office? And goes to work someplace? When did this start? I thought he just left the house long enough to invite people for dinner whom he’d then bad-mouth in front of Dennis.
Dick Tracy: Why is Marmaduke hunting down crack shipments? Is this what he slips into Phil Hitler’s coffee every morning?
Edge City: Aaaah! They’re being invaded by Dox Dustin, one of the characters from the days that 6 Chix doesn’t even try being amusing!
Funky Winkerbean: “I love you!” “You love Lisa?” “… No, I love you.” “You love Lisa.” “I love you, Les, Les Moore, not Lisa.” “What is…not-Lisa?”
TheDivaMay 24th, 2011 at 11:40 am [Reply]
@TheDiva (#84): Symbols, not syllables. Making up nonsense words to replace swears is more of a speculative fiction thing.
pugfugglyMay 24th, 2011 at 11:42 am [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#79): Other fun ‘Aunt Iris’ anagrams:
Iran Suit
I rat us in
I, Sir Tuna
‘Tis a ruin
She is a clever agent, I’ll give her that….
Scott BotMay 24th, 2011 at 11:43 am [Reply]
MW – If Drew doesn’t stop texting in the car like that, he’s gonna slam into the back of a semi and Liza will suddenly be the least of his worries.
pugfugglyMay 24th, 2011 at 11:46 am [Reply]
@Scott Bot (#88): Or not: if he ends up back at the hospital as a patient confined to a bed, there’ll be no escape from nurse Liza then.
“Time 4 yr sponge bath, honey. R U ready? :)”
SequiturMay 24th, 2011 at 11:50 am [Reply]
@pugfuggly (#89): ENEMA! Ready or not!
gnome de blogMay 24th, 2011 at 11:53 am [Reply]
@McManx (#22) said:
Mary Worth — Texting while driving. Dangerous. I sense a Mary Worth moment coming up: Dr. Drew drives over a cliff and is killed.
That is so rich with possibilities. Mary could go for at least a triple meddle: Doc Cory, his homely daughter whatshername (guilted out because she was on her honeymoon when her brother died), and Liza for having caused Drew’s death. Liza will be the toughest. She will accept no repsonsibility and go bouncing merrily along her way, leaving Mary the daunting task of convincing her what a horrible person she is for texting Drew while he was driving.
Oh, and Drew driving off a cliff will summon up the Ghost of Aldo, but of course Mary wasn’t responsible for his death either.
Rocky StoneaxeMay 24th, 2011 at 11:55 am [Reply]
@Chip Whittle (#85):
Correction: Henry and Alice bad-mouth people in front of Dennis before they invite them over to the house. Only then does hilarity ensue!
mollificentMay 24th, 2011 at 12:00 pm [Reply]
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#25): “U R DED 2 ME” LMAO!! :D
But What Do I Know?May 24th, 2011 at 12:02 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#56): SM — You’re right. Maybe they should call this “Who’s Afraid of Spiderman?”
mollificentMay 24th, 2011 at 12:05 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#38): WIN!! Especially the first two. Though the kewt is also more than welcome!
word-doctorMay 24th, 2011 at 12:10 pm [Reply]
Mark Trail-Y’all are underestimating this gang’s abilities. They’ve ALREADY stolen and repainted the Mystery Machine; if those darn kids and their meddling mutt haven’t figured it out, I doubt very much that our wannabe Marlin Perkins will fare better.
Scott BotMay 24th, 2011 at 12:22 pm [Reply]
S-M – It seems like holding someone by their shoulders like that would be awkward and tiring after a bit:
Martine – ‘If you refuse to drink his blood, I’ll drop her off this roof.’
Morbius – ‘No, I refuse to do something so evil.’
Marti – ‘I’m warning you, I’ll drop her. I mean it. And my arms are getting sore.’
Morbi – ‘Nope, I won’t do it.’
Marti – ‘You better drink it, or I’ll…oops. Too late now. Told ya my arms were getting sore.’
Morbi – ‘Yeah, sorry about that. (looks over edge) Ooh, that’s gonna leave a mark. Tell ya what, let’s toss him off the roof, forget the whole thing ever happened and go get sushi instead.’
May 24th, 2011 at 12:24 pm [Reply]
Dilbert: Plus there’s the loss of manpower in the wake of last week’s ‘rapture’..
Effluvius ErratusMay 24th, 2011 at 12:36 pm [Reply]
@pugfuggly (#87): “Tuna Iris” would work well too—less the global dominator and more the aspiring criminal kingpin—but in retrospect, I should have gone with that.
Riker’s Island, visiting area; MARGO MAGEE sits at a booth holding a phone; a large box sits in front of her, the kind used to mail roses; RAY sits on the other side of the glass. A BLUE GUARD stands in the background behind RAY.
Margo: I got something in the mail today, Ray. I thought you might be able to tell me about it. [opens box, revealing a rotting tuna]
Ray: Oh, man! Oh, man! Stay away from me! STAY AWAY!
Margo: What does it mean, Ray? Tell me!
Ray: It means you’re dead, lady! DEAD! And I’m dead too if anyone sees you talkin’ to me!
Margo: Tell me who sent it, Ray!
Ray: No freakin’ way lady! She’ll…
Margo: GUARD! DIRECTIVE 14!
Blue Guard: [robotically] Yes, Ma. [seizes RAY with headlock...around his head]
Ray: HNNG! HNNG! You—you’re—AGH! Ma—HNNG!—Mega-Gore?!?!
Margo: Who is she? Tell me. Now.
Ray: It—HWAGH!—It’s the callin—HNNG!—card of—Tuna Iris!
Margo: Where can I find her?
Ray: Y—HNNG!—You know—GUH!—where—UGGH!—who she is! HRNG!
Margo: Enough games. FINISH HIM!
Ray: HHRRRRRRNNNNNGK!!! [SPLUT! blood and brains a-splode against the glass]
McManxMay 24th, 2011 at 12:36 pm [Reply]
@anon (#49): … and what household appliance tucks you in at night? If I’m going to get into this fetish, I want to do it correctly.
Baka GaijinMay 24th, 2011 at 12:37 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#38): Until I see strategic nukes, there’s not enough firepower.
@Dood (#60): That’s an image I never thought my mind would entertain: cloacae in thongs.
@Scott Bot (#97): “Tell ya what, let’s toss him off the roof, forget the whole thing ever happened and go get sushi instead.” Seconded!
Laura BrownMay 24th, 2011 at 12:39 pm [Reply]
That Beetle Bailey could be the opening of a modern version of the old Zen koan about the monk, the tiger and the strawberry.*
“And in the seconds before the branch gave way, Sarge spotted one of his doughnuts on the edge of the cliff. He reached for it and ate it. How delicious it was.”
* Not to be confused with the joke where those three walk into a bar.
Calvin's Cardboard BoxMay 24th, 2011 at 12:39 pm [Reply]
@Tagged (#98):
The rapture didn’t take any engineers. They live in the cloud already.
AnansiMay 24th, 2011 at 12:43 pm [Reply]
As much as I want to make a joke about Luann and Quill’s previous song, “Hey Boy”, I am still recovering from the abomination that is Beyonce’s “Who Rule the World”. While “Hey Boy” commits the cardinal sin of being just dull, Beyonce (a R&B recording artist mind you) commits the even greater sin of being THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF ENTERTAINING !!!!!!!!!
Baka GaijinMay 24th, 2011 at 12:43 pm [Reply]
Did anyone else get this message: On June 1, Comics.com and GoComics are merging to create the largest comic and editorial cartoon compilation on the web…?
UncleJeffMay 24th, 2011 at 12:48 pm [Reply]
DT: Man, Muggs the Drug-Sniffing Dog is REALLY baked today!
Artist formerly known as BenMay 24th, 2011 at 12:49 pm [Reply]
@TheDiva (#84): I found out about the word sort of recently too. It might have been a Rocky Stoneaxe tidbit.
commodorejohnMay 24th, 2011 at 12:50 pm [Reply]
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#102): “THE CLOUD” IS NOT A THING.
Um, sorry, it’s just…argh. Pet peeve.
marymarykMay 24th, 2011 at 12:51 pm [Reply]
A3G: Wow. The “recording studio” has “bells & whistles” but no piano? Man. Tommie really MUST be a talentless hack if she can’t be allowed to practice in non-soundproofed rooms!
commodorejohnMay 24th, 2011 at 12:51 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#105): Yes, I did. As it sounds like goComics is the absorber and comics.com is the absorbee, I am not looking forward to this – on the bright side, though, it’ll make me finally come out with version 2 of my goComics viewer…
SequiturMay 24th, 2011 at 12:53 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#105): Right here.
SequiturMay 24th, 2011 at 12:56 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#105): I bet this is the first step for making us pay for the comics.
Baka GaijinMay 24th, 2011 at 12:58 pm [Reply]
@Sequitur (#112): I wouldn’t mind paying for the comics if it’s not a huge amount per month and it included most of the comics available. Like Netflix. Maybe this business model can save great new strips like “Thatababy” from the same sad fate of “My Cage.”
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 24th, 2011 at 1:03 pm [Reply]
@mollificent (#95):
“Garth Algar: Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and played girl bunny?
Wayne Campbell: No.
Garth Algar: Neither did I. I was just asking.”
they’re both in denial. ;-)
bats :[May 24th, 2011 at 1:07 pm [Reply]
Ah, well…looks like it’s back to the salt-on-the-margarita-glass-rim mines for Rex ‘n’ June…
(Is it vacation time yet?)
May 24th, 2011 at 1:10 pm [Reply]
BB: If thinking about food caused Sarge to get heavier and break the branch, imagining a violent attack of dysentery should float him right back up the cliff in no time.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 24th, 2011 at 1:14 pm [Reply]
@Écureuil Écumant (#116): I did not need that visual. I truly did not.
Écureuil ÉcumantMay 24th, 2011 at 1:14 pm [Reply]
DT: They really missed an opportunity in the third panel by not having Dick exclaim “RATS!”
ElkMeadowMay 24th, 2011 at 1:18 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#108):
That’s okay. Engineers aren’t people, either.
Calvin's Cardboard BoxMay 24th, 2011 at 1:19 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#108):
I am aware of this. Just a little artistic license to make the joke work, such as it is.
Écureuil ÉcumantMay 24th, 2011 at 1:19 pm [Reply]
DT: Furthermore, on the face of it, I’m left with the distinct impression that HOT NOZE IS ON THE RISE!
ElkMeadowMay 24th, 2011 at 1:21 pm [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#119):
And that was a JOKE people.
Chip WhittleMay 24th, 2011 at 1:25 pm [Reply]
Mandrake: I know the gangsters are going to be stopped by the laser crocodiles and other stuff at Mandrake’s Fort Awesome, but shouldn’t one of them have noticed the “gate” they’re running at is a four-foot-thick stone wall?
Mark Trail: I think I’ve got it. These kids are the Earth-3 analog to the Scooby-Doo gang, roaming around the country committing petty crimes and blaming the harmless guy who lives near the abandoned amusement park instead.
Mary Worth: Ah! Text messaging while driving! All right. I’d forgotten how it was The Internet what was Evil this storyline.
Just think: All this passionate stalker-ish energy Liza’s gathered is directed at Drew. Can you imagine what would happen if she met somebody who had a personality?
Rex Morgan: Ah, finally, the so-called winning lottery ticket has turned up, and as foretold when this story started during the writing of the Book of Revelation, it’s a dry-cleaning receipt.
Spider-Man: You know, the story is going a lot better since they cut Spider-Man out of it. Maybe the whole strip should see what it can do without him.
Écureuil ÉcumantMay 24th, 2011 at 1:26 pm [Reply]
@ElkMeadow (#122): Yeah, to people it’s a “joke”. To engineers, it’s ESOTERIC DOCTRINE.
JessyMay 24th, 2011 at 1:26 pm [Reply]
@Maggie the Cat (#44): I am so behind the times when it comes to computer games that I had to Google that one. Yes, same principle. Scribblenauts looks like fun!
IngeldMay 24th, 2011 at 1:30 pm [Reply]
Conversation interruptus! Y’know that practice common in comics in which the characters pull out of the conversation only to come to the punchline when they finish their reply often alone in an unsatisfying climax. That my friends is what Six Chix has offered.
IrischanoMay 24th, 2011 at 1:32 pm [Reply]
The fact that Sarge refers to the doughnuts possessively gives me a sneaking suspicion that he’s referring to a euphemism for his testicles.
Écureuil ÉcumantMay 24th, 2011 at 1:36 pm [Reply]
@Irischano (#127): Jesus! You mean that wasn’t cream cheese filling?
Effluvius ErratusMay 24th, 2011 at 1:37 pm [Reply]
@Chip Whittle (#123):
Spider-Man: You know, the story is going a lot better since they cut Spider-Man out of it. Maybe the whole strip should see what it can do without him.
I could totally see a Morbius and Martine strip in the style of Lockhorns.
SequiturMay 24th, 2011 at 1:43 pm [Reply]
@Irischano (#127): Now I get it. Beetle was the first to be stuck on the cliff hanging on to a branch when Sarge reached for Beetle’s ‘noids. Beetle freaked and fell. Sarge took his place on the branch. The brach is too light to hold Sarge’s weight and *SNAP*!
It all makes sense now.
BardMay 24th, 2011 at 1:45 pm [Reply]
Well, if you consider that Mr. Coffee may actually be a transmuted member of the Bloodhound Gang…
This GuyMay 24th, 2011 at 1:56 pm [Reply]
@TheDiva (#86): The frak it is. What the frell are you talking about? Smegging speculative fiction?
UncleJeffMay 24th, 2011 at 1:57 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#115): Why don’t you just contact The Syndicate and take over the writing chores?
I like your version of Rex & June much better.
(I would love it if the real writers had Rex swipe the lottery ticket from poor, old, stupid Berna)
May 24th, 2011 at 1:57 pm [Reply]
@Sequitur (#111): dammit! And when I clicked on it and clicked again for “More information,” I end up looking at today’s Love is…!
Well, FINE!
May 24th, 2011 at 1:57 pm [Reply]
Among the most appalling developments in my life as a parent is my son become entranced by ‘Beetle Bailey’. He had uncontrollable laughter at the breakfast table this morning over this particular instantiation of the endless ‘Sarge Hanging on a Branch Having Mysteriously Fallen Off a Cliff’ gag. Dear Lord, where have I gone wrong with the boy, that it has come to this? What’s next, asking Santa for a Ziggy doll for Christmas? Can clipping ‘For Better or Worse’ cartoons for the fridge be far behind? Beetle is clearly a dangerous gateway comic every parent should fear.
Effluvius ErratusMay 24th, 2011 at 2:00 pm [Reply]
@Crankenstank (#135): Get him a copy of “Bloom County Babylon”—STAT!
SequiturMay 24th, 2011 at 2:01 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#134):
May 24th, 2011 at 2:12 pm [Reply]
DT One gets the feeling that the biscuits will tasting a little…..different in the near future… CUT to: B.O. biting into a biscuit, and having a shred of green jacket stuck in his teef – both of them
KatyMay 24th, 2011 at 2:17 pm [Reply]
Oh hell. And Gocomics.com carries Pibgorn, so I won’t be able to avoid it as neatly as I have been up till now.
Chip WhittleMay 24th, 2011 at 2:18 pm [Reply]
Alley Oop: Now I can’t help wondering what architectural constraints forced them to put at least six doors into the room where they’re launching the Saturn V, instead of having all the hallways meet up outside the one really strong blast-proof door instead.
Archie: Why is Olive Oyl badly cosplaying as Jughead?
Lola: “I made a technology joke! Can I be in the cool club now?”
PC and Pixel: Wasn’t this a classic Monty Python sketch?
Reality Check: See, it’s funny cause women say so many more words than men do.
Ripley’s: “Diving into the water and coasting motionless for as long as possible was an Olympic sport in 1904! And it only got better when they introduced swimming pools for the 1906 games!”
Man, the Olympics were different back before anybody had invented fun.
Spot the Frog: I’m loving the line “I used to have umlauts over both P’s. Kids can be cruel.” Then I’m noticing what this means Pete’s name used to be. Then I’m regretting this strip isn’t still in production.
Tarzan: “You got Mark Trail on my Tarzan!” “You got Tarzan on my Mark Trail!”
commodorejohnMay 24th, 2011 at 2:18 pm [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#136): I’ll second this. Bloom County instilled in me a taste for quality comics when I was but a boy, and it hasn’t left me since.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 24th, 2011 at 2:24 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#134): *giggles at the tassels*
Scott BotMay 24th, 2011 at 2:38 pm [Reply]
@Écureuil Écumant (#116): Jet propulsion?
TaggedMay 24th, 2011 at 2:41 pm [Reply]
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#103): That’s because engineers are automatically sent to Heck from the Christian viewpoint. Of course given what we’ve seen of that in Dilbert, I don’t think it’s that different from what they’re doing in their current lives…such as they are.
Effluvius ErratusMay 24th, 2011 at 2:46 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#141): Growing up in the 80s, Bloom County, Calvin and Hobbes, and The Far Side were my Holy Trinity of comics. I still miss them, but I think it was for the best their respective artists ended them before they completely ran out of gas (and I can forgive Berkley Breathed for running on fumes with Outland and straight-up coasting downhill with Opus, they were still enjoyable because of their gorgeous art (esp. Opus) and nostalgia value).
Chip WhittleMay 24th, 2011 at 2:48 pm [Reply]
Back In The Day: Even for jokes about eating the smaller characters in the strip this is getting kind of weird.
Barkeater Lake is back, by the way, if you’re interested in following it for a couple weeks before Corey Pandolph forgets it again.
Big Top: Now I want a potato chips sherpa. Though I’d like to know what species he is.
Compu-Toon gently stumbles across the line between “baffling” and “Liza-like stalkerish activity”.
Fred Basset: Well, looks like somebody is hoping to join the British Invasion over on The Ed Sullivan Show.
Gasoline Alley: Is Clovia jokingly putting Slim in Boog’s care, or has she just accepted that any care, even that of random passers-by, is better than leaving Slim on his own?
yaoi huntress earthMay 24th, 2011 at 2:50 pm [Reply]
FW: “Lisa would’ve said it with more feeling.”
Calvin's Cardboard BoxMay 24th, 2011 at 3:05 pm [Reply]
@Tagged (#144):
That would explain the complex, seven-level, functional design of Heck, whereas in Heaven they just give you a pair of comically-undersized wings and expect you to flit from cloud to cloud.
CalicoMay 24th, 2011 at 3:09 pm [Reply]
@yaoi huntress earth (#147):
D’oh! Touché.
I like Cayla – I hope Mr. Mopey doesn’t bring her down. Run, girl, run!
Oh, and Drew, I would get on the next flight back to Peace Village if I were you, and get a new smart phone with a different number. This chick is batshit crazy (and I’ve known a couple of people like Liza, and it’s not fun, and kind of scary too, to be in their emotional crosshairs. Yech).
LiamMay 24th, 2011 at 3:19 pm [Reply]
Judge Parker-I applaud the artist for drawing a realistic looking cell phone unlike the toy cell phone shown over in “Mary Worth”, but I fault with their understanding of how cell phones work. Even if a cell phone is turned off you can still call the person you will just get their voicemail of course since this is Judge Parker’s attorney calling then he will still get the voicemail because the judge will be screening his calls.
Garfield-Life with John has become so tedious that Garfield is actually encouraging John to committ suicide.
Baby Blue’s-That is not the reason why Darry’s prom date needed years of therapy it was the mass killing spree that happened after the pig’s blood was dumped on Carrie after she was crowned prom queen.
Beetle Bailey-Getting tired of Sarge the troops under him decided to put a box of donuts on the edge of cliff in the hopes that going for the box Sarge would fall off the cliff. They also sawed the tree growing out of the cliff just enough so it would break underneath Sarge’s weight.
Rocky StoneaxeMay 24th, 2011 at 3:20 pm [Reply]
@Baka Gaijin (#105):
Did anyone else get this message: On June 1, Comics.com and GoComics are merging to create the largest comic and editorial cartoon compilation on the web…?
More details on the upcoming merger:
http://blogs.gocomics.com/
AviatrixMay 24th, 2011 at 3:23 pm [Reply]
@Old School Allie Cat (#51): A new Cayla love story would be awesome. In one week, all of Les’ clingy women, including the dead wife, move off to non-Les related pursuits and he is left alone. He can go visit Crankshaft or something.
kanomiMay 24th, 2011 at 3:24 pm [Reply]
Apartment 3G: Is Karen Moy married to a piano mover? Did she once date a handsome Steinway stevedore? Was she left at the altar by a strapping young clavichord carrier? A3G’s obsession with this obscure manual trade is perplexing.
Blondie: If this were Funky Winkerbean, they would be watching Slowly Dying With The Stars.
Dennis the Menace: “25 calls, Mr. Mitchell, it sounds urgent! Something about the house on fire and a neighbor with a shotgun. Mr. Mitchell? Mr. Mitchell, the calls? Mr. Mitchell, why are you walking away?”
Gil Thorp: I hope this plotline leads to all high school sports being cut, followed by a downward spiral of teenage violence and planking. “You see what happens, America?” Gil Thorp opines. “You see what happens when you cut racquetball, you ogres!”
Pluggers: Overfed avian-ladies in beach thongs – it’s going to take a Plugger’s paycheck worth of gin to drink away that bit of nightmare fuel.
Shoe: Speaking of Pluggers, and I suspect this has been observed before, but aren’t Shoe-denizens just better educated Pluggers? Perhaps we should call them Shoeglers.
Baka GaijinMay 24th, 2011 at 3:29 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#151): Good to see.
UncleJeffMay 24th, 2011 at 3:30 pm [Reply]
@Aviatrix (#152): I vote for Cayla and Susan discovering their own very special Love Connection…..without Les.
kanomiMay 24th, 2011 at 3:42 pm [Reply]
@Rocky Stoneaxe (#151): Interesting, well if they can put all the comics in one place and one easy to read customizable page so I don’t have to futz around, great.
But to choose the url gocomics.com over comics.com? This is one instance where Herb and Jamaalian non-specificity would seem to be advantageous!
bats :[May 24th, 2011 at 3:50 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#142): and to think I was going to PhotoShop them out!
anonMay 24th, 2011 at 3:55 pm [Reply]
Get Fuzzy: Underwear joke here….I don’t get it. Anyone? What does Satchel mean???
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 24th, 2011 at 3:57 pm [Reply]
@UncleJeff (#155): I keep rooting for Summer and Keisha to do the same.
gnome de blogMay 24th, 2011 at 4:08 pm [Reply]
@bats :[ (#115):
Anything to get June back in a bikini.
May 24th, 2011 at 4:17 pm [Reply]
Will the clean-cut thieves in Mark Trail befoul John Thrasher’s beautiful cave
with stolen boomboxes?
Will John and Mark have to work side-by-side to punch facial hair onto, rather than off of,
the peachfuzz-faced young hoodlums?
I hate to disappoint, but it turns out the kids are heading to storagecave.com.
Mark Trail would need to know how to use the Internet to stop these radio raiders
from framing his hairy new friend.
May 24th, 2011 at 4:28 pm [Reply]
Drew also seems to remember things that never were, like the white patch on his horses forehead.
Bill ThompsonMay 24th, 2011 at 4:33 pm [Reply]
The Amusing Spiderman: When you see the way Morbius has his arms crossed and the stubborn expression on his face, you realize you’re watching two kids play house. Martine pretends she’s Mommy and Morbius pretends he’s Daddy. Mommy puts dinner on the table as Daddy comes home from work, and at once Daddy starts whining. “Meatloaf and ham! Do you know what a bad night I had?” “I slaved all night in the kitchen!”
After a while Dracula turns up. Shamefaced, he realizes that his two new vampires are acting out the things they’ve seen him do with the Countess.
Prickly City: Multi-level logic fail. First, games and other graphically violent bits of “entertainment” aren’t real. Second, a lot of people complain over the simulated violence. Third, imagine this argument applied to sexually explicit imagery. Fourth, why risk anyone’s lives with a needless provocation?
Esther BlodgettMay 24th, 2011 at 4:35 pm [Reply]
@anon (#158): Yeah, I read it three or four times myself without comprehension. Finally I gave up and looked at the cute wittle kitty in his box.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 24th, 2011 at 4:35 pm [Reply]
@Alan Devery (#162): unicorns and double rainbows, in the journeys to the center of his mind.
gnome de blogMay 24th, 2011 at 4:42 pm [Reply]
@Chip Whittle (#146):
Barkeater Lake is back, by the way, if you’re interested in following it for a couple weeks before Corey Pandolph forgets it again.
Hey, thanks! Even a couple of weeks is better than nothing.
Planet Karen is back too. Good times. Especially her take on the royal wedding.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 24th, 2011 at 4:43 pm [Reply]
@Bill Thompson (#163): “Prickly City: imagine this applied to sexually explicit imagery.”
I can haz brainbleach naow?
not even Family Tree would be less appealing to be Rule-34′d.
CalicoMay 24th, 2011 at 4:56 pm [Reply]
Drink, Liza, drink, and drive off that cliff! Or better yet, hook up with creepy Charley.
Comcis FanMay 24th, 2011 at 5:05 pm [Reply]
@wossname (#10):
Obviously we both have far too much time on our hands. And of course, we’re both quite clever. ;)
AnonymousMay 24th, 2011 at 5:06 pm [Reply]
@gnome de blog (#166):
Love the dalek!
AnonymousMay 24th, 2011 at 5:08 pm [Reply]
Liza and Charley. Now there’s a real train wreck waiting to happen. I wonder who would crawl away first.
ElkMeadowMay 24th, 2011 at 5:24 pm [Reply]
This strip is so much like Ground Hog’s Day movie, only in that one, he learned a lesson about using each day to improve himself, and here, the last improvement we saw was Brad getting his firefighting credentials.
KatyMay 24th, 2011 at 5:49 pm [Reply]
FASHION POLICE HELP PLEASE HELP SOS HELP HELP. See today’s Spider-Man. Is Martine wearing … garters?
But she’s also wearing thigh-high boots. Are the garters holding her boots up?
If she’s wearing stockings, and the garters are holding her stockings up, why don’t the stockings stick out over the tops of her boots? Stockings are very long.
I’m not asking “Why is she wearing stockings under her boots,” because I can see why she wouldn’t wear knee-highs: once those scooch down, you have to take your boot off to pull them back up again. But what kind of stockings are so short that they don’t even go up to the middle of the thigh?
Or does this mean that Martine buys stockings that are the wrong size? In that case, she and I have something in common, but I would have liked to think that I was similar to a tall, sultry, evil, hot-bodied vampire in some other way than failing to read the package.
Effluvius ErratusMay 24th, 2011 at 5:52 pm [Reply]
@Calico (#168) & @Anonymous (#171): Yet another spinoff I wouldn’t mind seeing, sort of like The Odd Couple, but instead of a neatnik and a slob, we have a stalker and a sex addict with some Will-They-Won’t-They action thrown in for good measure. And, hell, let’s set this thing on a train. Why not?
KatyMay 24th, 2011 at 5:55 pm [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#174): Especially good because if one of the characters is a sex addict, and there’s a problem in the final cut with continuity or pacing, you can just throw in a clip of a train going into a tunnel. I like it.
VioletMay 24th, 2011 at 5:58 pm [Reply]
I feel bad about the Crock author’s passing of course, but on a positive note I am intrigued by the possibilities inherent in a fresh perspective on the lighter side of torture and insanity in the French Foreign Legion.
VioletMay 24th, 2011 at 6:16 pm [Reply]
It strikes me that there are probably dozens of considerably more organic scenarios in which this “I gain weight just thinking about food” gag could have been just as effectively (i.e. not at all effectively) deployed, which leads me to suspect this may be some kind of sociological experiment to ascertain just how much shit people will take before the bloody revolution ensues.
Effluvius ErratusMay 24th, 2011 at 6:17 pm [Reply]
@Katy (#175): BRILLIANT! With the money that saves on production costs, we’ll be able to hire Herb Alpert to do the theme song.
thebirdgirlMay 24th, 2011 at 6:20 pm [Reply]
Holy crapola, you guys. I’ve been busy so haven’t been online in ages…and when I finally come back what do I see at the top of the page?!??!
That was my second comment ever. I am awed and humbled to be in such august company. I will go back to lurking immediately, of course, and let the rest of you pros get back to the real business of hilarious commenting.
Thanks a bajillion, Josh!!
May 24th, 2011 at 6:20 pm [Reply]
@Violet (#176):
the lighter side of torture and insanity
Too bad Dave Berg’s dead.
commodorejohnMay 24th, 2011 at 6:20 pm [Reply]
@Violet (#176): My question with Crock has always been, “what can it bring to the Foreign Legion genre that The Flying Deuces didn’t?” Up until now, the answer was obviously “sheer, glue-sniffling insanity,” but who knows where things will go with Rechin the Younger?
Effluvius ErratusMay 24th, 2011 at 6:21 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#181): Glue-injecting insanity?
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 24th, 2011 at 6:24 pm [Reply]
@Effluvius Erratus (#178): perhaps Herve Allpert and the Tijuana Ass?
they work cheaper, and are based in Northridge, when they aren’t doing session work with The Plugz.
Joe, the Upper-Evergreen GuyMay 24th, 2011 at 6:36 pm [Reply]
@Anonymous (#171):
Can’t be any worse than the train wreck that is Elizabeth and Anthony!!
Effluvius ErratusMay 24th, 2011 at 6:40 pm [Reply]
@Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#184): Now THAT is a spin-off I do NOT want to see, unless the second half of the title is “…In The 9th Circle.”
Dilly PicklyMay 24th, 2011 at 6:44 pm [Reply]
Luann: Hasn’t “making music” been a euphemism for sex since, like, the 70’s, when beatniks used it as a pick up line?
commodorejohnMay 24th, 2011 at 6:46 pm [Reply]
@Dilly Pickly (#186): It goes at least back to Pepe LePew cartoons from the ’50s, if not even further…
LiamMay 24th, 2011 at 6:57 pm [Reply]
Love Is-I would wash that ring if I was her. The guy is not wearing any pants and I don’t really want to think about where he was keeping that ring.
KatyMay 24th, 2011 at 6:57 pm [Reply]
@thebirdgirl (#179): I loved the “‘Paul! You ate food!’” part especially.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii CommandoMay 24th, 2011 at 7:00 pm [Reply]
@commodorejohn (#187): *Pepe grabs mollificent’s hand*
‘we will make beeyootiful music togezer in the moonlight!”
*kisses up mollificent’s arm*
“mwah! mwah! mwah!!”
*crashing piano FX*
*Pepe LePew shown bruised and battered amidst wreckage of harp*
“un petite songbird, she likes to string me along, no?”
[*]
Fashion PoliceMay 24th, 2011 at 7:04 pm [Reply]
@Katy (#173):
We are not certain what sort of monster Martine is, but if she were a true vampire she’d be wearing diaphanous Victorian night-clothes. She would also know that one does not become Undead by drinking human blood, which is no more than food to the Children of the Night. A human can be “made” only by introducing vampire blood into his own blood. All she needs do and mingle her blood with Morbius’. He would quickly lose his silly moral compulsion to spare the puny Parkers.
As for the garter question, alas, we cannot say for certain. We have every expectation that you have much in common with the tall, sultry, evil, hot-bodied vampire of your choice, dear, but Martine isn’t much of a role model. Inability to properly read the package is not the greatest of her faults.
Veronica's Right NippleMay 24th, 2011 at 7:06 pm [Reply]
@Ingeld (#126):
I always found that odd too. Direct replies to one character from another character yet it takes place maybe hours or even days later, but in side by side panels.
mollificentMay 24th, 2011 at 8:01 pm [Reply]
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#190): Hee hee! I actually have a specific memory of a young man I once knew who turned into Pepe LePew when intoxicated. ;)
I’ll have to wait till I get home to read your hidden message, alas (my phone browser doesn’t let me read ‘em.)
Bill ThompsonMay 24th, 2011 at 8:06 pm [Reply]
@Fashion Police (#191): There are other ways to become a vampire. They can include being cursed, making a pact with Satan, living an especially evil life, having been a werewolf before you died, dying by the bite of a vampire, being buried in unconsecrated ground, having a cat jump over your grave, and I forget what else. Not that I’ve tried any of this myself. The only place I’ve seen this bit about drinking human blood to finish the transformation was in The Lost Boys. Stealing from that movie is a sad thing. It’s even worse than Martine’s Vampirella-inspired wardrobe.
But how can you say that Morbius has a “moral compulsion” to spare Meatloafman and Ham Parker? Allowing them to live is far from moral. Martine is the one showing the superior sense of morals here, even if she’s taking her time about it.
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